Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

Episode: "From the Bronx with Scars: Vinny Cuevas on Survival, Loyalty, and Redemption"

Date: December 29, 2025
Guest: Vinny Cuevas

Episode Overview

This raw and candid episode dives deep into the life of Vinny Cuevas—a Cuban/Puerto Rican Bronx native whose early story was written in violence, loyalty, and the shadows of organized crime. Through conversation with Rachel Uchitel, Vinny peels back the mythos and dangers of street life, the scars it left, and the journey toward redemption, fatherhood, profound loss, and pursuing a life truly chosen. The discussion centers on shedding misperceptions, navigating change, processing grief, and celebrating the possibility of second chances.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Growing Up: Hardship and Early Scars

• Vinny’s Childhood in the Bronx

  • Born and raised in a tumultuous, lower-middle-class household riddled with violence and instability.

    “Even through school and just my whole childhood, I cannot remember a time where I was happy at all. And that's basically how my childhood started. It was just pain, pain, pain, pain, pain.” (Vinny, 05:14)

  • Protective of his younger sister and forced to normalize abuse and chaos.

• Early Introduction to Crime

  • Started running betting slips hidden in pizza boxes at age 12, drawn by the allure and power of neighborhood mob figures.

    “I started off delivering pizza, but in those pizzas there was betting slips. I was like 12 years old… I was making money that my dad wasn't even making.” (Vinnie, 00:02)

The Seduction and Danger of Power

• Seeking Respect vs. Becoming Feared

  • The need for protection and admiration led to increasingly violent “debt collection” roles.
  • Reflections on respect:

    “Is it more important to be respected and loved or feared?” (Rachel, 00:24)
    “At that time, I said feared because I didn't know what love was. I didn't feel it at all.” (Vinny, 11:23)

• Joining, Then Exiting Organized Crime

  • Embraced and protected by the Genovese family, but exiting became possible as law enforcement cracked down.
  • Loyalty tested repeatedly as friends and mentors were arrested; escape from ‘the life’ was as much luck as intention.

    “Everybody was just getting busted… I was left with no one, which was my opportunity out.” (Vinny, 13:19–14:01)

The True Cost: Violence and Betrayal

• Surviving Near-Death and Betrayal
  • Beaten over disputes, shot at—and once actually shot (grazed).

    “I've been shot to this day. I don't know if it was meant for me… I'm putting my life on the line for them and I'm not getting that in return.” (Vinny, 00:28/20:01)

  • The absence of support following his shooting illuminated the lack of true loyalty in that world.

    “No one came to your defense…at that point you were like, I don't really have the kind of loyalty that I think so I need to get out.” (Rachel, 20:41–20:57)

Leaving the Life & Processing Change

• Transitioning Out

  • Exit prompted by law enforcement sweeps, personal betrayals, and growing awareness of futility.
  • The challenge of moving from street power to “regular” life and employment.

    "It was hard to get out…there was going to be instability in figuring out how you would make that kind of money in, like, an honest living…to be respected like that and then go and work somewhere where somebody acts like you're an assistant…" (Rachel, 12:07)

• Reflections on Today’s Streets

  • Bronx has become even more dangerous; easier access to guns, little honor among today’s criminals.

    “If I grew up today in the Bronx, I'll be dead tomorrow. That's how bad it is.” (Vinny, 15:45)

Purpose, Redemption, and Fatherhood

• Parenthood—Redefining Life

  • Two children: son Vince, who tragically passed away, and a daughter, both central to Vinny’s later transformation and reason to live.
  • Regret that his son tried to emulate his earlier lifestyle.

    “My son sadly wanted to be me so bad…he had so much more talent than I did.” (Vinny, 23:17)

• Enduring and Channeling Grief

  • Devastated by Vince’s death; spent a year “crippled,” almost lost.
  • Shifted focus to celebrating his son’s life, not just mourning his loss.

    “You don't get over that. You move forward or you move around the pain…Celebrate his life and not mourning.” (Vinny, 26:22–26:57)

  • Credits his daughter for providing ongoing purpose.

New Chapters: Security, Writing, and Healing

• Redemption in Security, Writing, and Acting

  • Found new community, love, and belonging in later-life career as security professional and through screenwriting.
  • Writing serves as therapy and a way to process his journey: multiple screenplays in progress, including projects on the Pointer Sisters and a possible adaptation of his memoir.

• Perspective on Love and Relationships

  • Past trauma and loss made sustaining relationships challenging.
  • Lost a young love to cancer, reinforcing feelings of futility and rebellion in youth.

    “I try to do the right thing and it's just not meant for me. So I was just revolting against everyone…” (Vinny, 30:55)

Loyalty, Misconceptions, and Moving Forward

• Being Misunderstood

  • Often mistaken for arrogant/intimidating due to appearance and past, but emphasizes humility and giving back.

    “People may look at me as arrogant and I'm the total opposite… I help the homeless a lot… it makes me feel good.” (Vinny, 38:33)

  • Stresses importance of relationships and reveals deep vulnerability beneath tough exterior.

• Advice for Others Seeking Change

  • Warns that survival in street life today is impossible:

    “Anyone involved in the lifestyle that I live nowadays, and I'm going to be blunt with them, you're not going to survive…pick a forte. Everybody has a forte and run with it.” (Vinny, 41:02)

  • Encourages finding one’s unique talent and pursuing it fully, regardless of lack of outside support.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Through what I went through, I felt scars because obviously I was raised in the Bronx and throughout that young, that childhood to adulthood, it was all pretty much battle scars. There was nothing fun about what I did, how I grew up."
  – Vinny Cuevas on the meaning of his book’s title (04:16)

• "At that time, I said feared because I didn't know what love was…I needed to put fear in people, be respected. And I was pretty notorious at it. And right now I'm, like, a little nervous talking about it because it's just not who I am now."
  – Vinny Cuevas (11:23)

• "You don't get over that. You move forward or you move around. The pain you have. The purpose is my daughter… The pain is forever."
  – Vinny Cuevas (26:22–27:52)

• "I was loyal to people that weren't good people, but they were good to me. But now I'm good. I'm loyal to good people that are good people… The amount of love they treat me is the amount of love I get back."
  – Vinny Cuevas on relationships post-crime life (28:50)

• "If I grew up today in the Bronx, I'll be dead tomorrow. That's how bad it is."
  – Vinny Cuevas on the changing city (15:45)

• "Pick a forte. Everybody has a forte and run with it…Because a lifestyle, it's just not sustainable. Not nowadays."
  – Vinny Cuevas (41:02)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 – Vinny’s first illegal jobs and introduction to the mob world
• 05:14 – Painful childhood memories and family strife
• 07:37 – Transition into organized crime, influenced by “Bronx Tale”
• 09:39–12:07 – Power, intimidation, and emotional cost; quote on being feared
• 13:19–14:12 – How prosecutorial sweeps/being left alone enabled his escape
• 15:45 – Commentary on today’s Bronx and levels of violence
• 20:01–21:16 – Betrayal, being shot, and realizing need to leave 'the life'
• 22:17–24:32 – Fatherhood, son’s struggle, and family dynamics
• 26:22–27:52 – Processing the death of his son and moving forward
• 28:50 – Finding new loyalty and purpose
• 30:00–31:31 – Reflections on lost love and impact on relationships
• 33:50 – Candid story on encountering a celebrity “freak-off” party
• 36:04–37:06 – Current pursuits (screenwriting, future plans)
• 38:33–39:19 – How Vinny is misunderstood and how he gives back
• 41:02–42:14 – Advice for young people trapped in “the life”

Tone & Style

Rachel Uchitel guides the conversation with compassion, candor, and a focus on redemption—not glorification. Vinny is frank, emotionally honest, humble, and at times self-deprecating. Their exchange is direct but reflective, giving ample space to pain, hope, and practical wisdom.

Summary Takeaway

Vinny Cuevas’ journey offers a profound look at the realities behind street mythology—how pain cycles into violence, and how change, while complicated, is possible. His advice for others is grounded and urgent: The world has changed; survival is unlikely, and everyone has a gift to offer outside of crime. His story is ultimately about re-writing one’s narrative and honoring scars not as shame, but as proof of endurance and growth.

Find Vinny’s memoir, “From the Bronx with Scars,” on Amazon or at Barnes & Noble.