← Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel
Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel
From the Bronx with Scars: Vinny Cuevas on Survival, Loyalty, and Redemption
00:43:08
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- [00:00]
Rachel Yucatel
Today on Misunderstood with Rachel Yucatel.
- [00:03]
Vinnie Cuevas
I started off delivering pizza, but in those pizzas there was betting slips. I was like 12 years old. I wasn't afraid of anything. I wasn't afraid of dying. I met people from the Genovese family, which they embraced me and I was making money that my dad wasn't even making. I got to the point where we were doing higher level debt collection and I realized the fear I put in people.
- [00:25]
Rachel Yucatel
Is it more important to be respected and loved or feared?
- [00:29]
Vinnie Cuevas
I said feared because I didn't know what love was. I've been shot to this day. I don't know if it was meant for me. I'm putting my life on the line for them and I'm not getting that in return. So I had to make a decision. But you just can't walk out of that. Like they don't leave lose ends. That was when Rudy Giuliani took over. He was just taking everybody down. I was left with no one, which was my opportunity out. Anyone involved in the lifestyle that I live nowadays. And I'm gonna be blunt with them. You not going to survive.
- [01:02]
Rachel Yucatel
What advice would you give to someone to make that transition of really becoming themselves and finding a purpose?
- [01:08]
Vinnie Cuevas
Pick a forte. Everybody has a forte. And run with it.
- [01:18]
Rachel Yucatel
Welcome back to Misunderstood. I'm your host, Rachel Yukatel. I hope you're having a happy holiday. I just want to thank you for being a loyal listener and if you're new here, thank you so much for joining us. Please take a second to give us a review. Go onto Apple, Spotify, wherever your listening, give us five stars. Write a review. It helps us with the algorithm, it helps us climb the charts. And it's due to you and your reviews that we are a top five show in entertainment news, often hitting number one, like, I mean, weekly. We're constantly hitting number one. So thank you, but please take a minute and give us a review. It really means the world to me. All right, so for today, some people wear their scars quietly. Others turn them into armor. Vinnie Cuevas did something different. He turned his into a story. Vinnie grew up Cuban and Puerto Rican in the South Bronx, where survival wasn't symb, it was daily. Power meant protection. Loyalty meant life or death. And the streets didn't just shape who you were, they decided who you would become. In his memoir, from the Bronx with Scars, Vinnie doesn't romanticize that world. He shows you the cost of it. The betrayals, the grief, the bullets you survive, the losses you don't. He writes about what happens when toughness becomes a trap. And what it takes to step out of a story that feels pre written. This is also a story about fatherhood, about how becoming a parent changes the way you think. About risk, legacy, and love. And about loss so profound it redefines purpose, losing a child, and finding a reason to keep going anyway. Vinny has lived multiple lives. The streets, security, acting, screenwriting. But at the core of all of them is the same question. Who are you when you stop surviving and start choosing to live? This episode isn't about glorifying where you come from. It's about understanding it and deciding what parts of it you carry forward and what you finally put down. This is Vinnie Cuevas. And this is from the Bronx with Scars. Welcome to Misunderst. Vinny, thank you so much for joining me today on Misunderstood. How are you doing?
- [03:45]
Vinnie Cuevas
I'm doing well. Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure. Pleasure to be on your show.
- [03:49]
Rachel Yucatel
Of course. It's such a pleasure to have you on. I love that you sent me the book. I actually read it. I gave you sent me two copies. I gave another copy to a friend of mine that I thought would love it and she loved it. I first of all, from the Bronx with Scars is a really interesting title. So the first thing I wanted to ask you is like, how, how hard was it to come up with your title and what does it mean to you?
- [04:16]
Vinnie Cuevas
It was hard. I mean, I can say from the Bronx with Love. It's just not organic. Through what I went through, I felt scars because obviously I was raised in the Bronx and throughout that young, that childhood to adulthood, it was all pretty much battle scars. There was nothing fun about what I did, how I grew up. So there was nothing amorous about that life lifestyle. And it was in the beginning I was like, oh, what? How do we work? But then it just came to me. I said, this, this is gonna work.
- [04:46]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [04:47]
Vinnie Cuevas
The irony of Bronx for Love, the Bronx Scar.
- [04:51]
Rachel Yucatel
I love it because once I read it, I knew what it meant and I could. I could see your scars, you know, but they were like battle wounds that, you know, you wouldn't be who you were without them is kind of my takeaway from it. So I want to start from the beginning so people that don't know you and haven't read the book yet so that they get to know you. Can you talk about your life growing up in the Bronx a little bit?
- [05:15]
Vinnie Cuevas
Well, I was born in Arthur. I was born in Fordham Hospital but raised in Arthur Avenue. I grew up in a Pretty much lower middle class family, borderline poor. My father was the only one working and my mother was a stay at home mom and. But my dad had his habits, his drinking habits, you know, he, he was the one covering all the bills. So it was always hard. There was times where we, we were barely making it ends meet, so it became frustrating. And there was also, you know, as a child, I absorbed domestic violence through my parents. And it's what I grew up seeing. And it was a tumultuous time being. I can remember things when I was 5 years old that I shouldn't be, you know, you should remember Joy. And I remember beatings and arguing, me being angry all the time at that age, which wasn't normal, you know, protecting my sister, who was four years younger than me, Liz. And so, you know, I, even through school and just my whole childhood, I cannot remember a time where I was happy at all. And that's basically how my childhood started. It was, it was nothing. It was just pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. And as a child, I mean, you, you grew up normalizing that.
- [06:33]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah, yeah.
- [06:34]
Vinnie Cuevas
So it's like you didn't see anything else. And every child you saw that had a decent household, you were envious of it, right?
- [06:44]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah. So you open up the book talking about how your parents are arguing, you're protecting your sister, and how, you know, they're almost like lullabies, these arguments, they put you to sleep. They're the things that you hear every day. And so it's an obvious transition that you would look outside of your home for some sense of family and to be needed, even though eventually your mom, you know, really does need you with help with your sister. But it seems like the obvious transition is for you to find that loyalty in working for people in your neighborhood and become somewhat of what we would say is a gangster. Can you talk a little bit about what that was like? And when you started sort of running envelopes for people and, you know, doing that and explain to people that are not familiar with that world what goes on.
- [07:38]
Vinnie Cuevas
Well, the transition started, ironically enough, with the movie Bronx Tale. When I saw the movie Bronx Tale, it was like I was like, wait a minute, this ain't fiction. I see this in my neighborhood, even though I saw these well dressed men who really never had nine to five jobs. But we admired the neighborhood kids, admired them because they would give us money, they made sure the neighborhoods were safe from hooligans. And I was like, wow, that's cool. But then when we saw the movie, we realized that's what it was. So my cousin was already involved. My cousin was notorious, but he was involved. Kind of introduced me. I started off delivering pizza, but in those pizzas there was betting slips, which betting is illegal in New York. So it was like bookies. So we started doing that. I was doing. I was pretty tough. You know, there was times when they try to intimidate me, try to rob me. I didn't let it happen. I would get into fights. They'll steal my pizza somewhat. So they kind of like it. My cousin kept vouching for me and my cousin kept vouching for me. And little did you know, we were the only two Hispanics, by the way, because there was a lot of racial tension in those times. So it was like, you know, I had the Puerto Ricans, the blacks, the Italians, and everybody was against one another. But we were, I don't know because I may similarize a little bit of the Italian culture. They accepted us. And at the time we thought it was cool, you know, Hispanics, we didn't realize it's kind of messed up, you know, but they say cool. So I started doing that and I was like 12 years old, maybe 12, 13 years old. And then sadly enough, I got a life in it. I was making money that my dad wasn't even making.
- [09:15]
Rachel Yucatel
Right, right.
- [09:16]
Vinnie Cuevas
And of course, my parents didn't know.
- [09:18]
Rachel Yucatel
Of course. So can you talk about what you learned about power growing up? Because I feel like that's a theme throughout your life, that it's something that you really wanted to be powerful. You wanted to walk in a room and have people either fear you or admire you. But then eventually, as you have your children, you realize that it's at a cost because you never feel secure with that.
- [09:40]
Vinnie Cuevas
That's correct. I mean, you learned that right away when you. But first of all, respect is earned in this business and that lifestyle. And in my teens, I got up to the point where we were doing higher level debt collection, which unfortunately for me, it was purple punishment, what was needed to be done to collect debts. And I did. I didn't enjoy that. My cousin did. And I realized the fear I put in people because I was a boxer too, and the fear I put in people that can never be beat. And you get that adrenaline and it's. It's a hard. It's. In hindsight, it's a horrible thing to have. There's a part of my brain and I still have it that just doesn't show fear. I don't know what it is. It's Good and bad. And at the time, it was good. I wasn't afraid of anything. I wasn't afraid of dying. So I would go into these situations, and then I realized that these people give me so much love, and we want him to do this, we want him to do that. You know, people from the Genovese family, which hugged me, they embraced me, and I just. I felt I got to. I could have been a made man. Not knowing that you have to be fully Italian to do so, which in hindsight, that's a good thing.
- [10:52]
Rachel Yucatel
Right?
- [10:53]
Vinnie Cuevas
That didn't happen.
- [10:54]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah. So there's a quote, a famous quote in the Bronx Tale. And by the way, I had Lilo Brancado on my show after he. I mean, a couple of years ago when he got out of jail. He's still a friend of mine. I really like him. But the quote, and forgive me if my words are not exact, but the quote that he had in the movie, which really stood out to him and I talked to him about it, was, is it more important to be respected and loved or feared in that environment?
- [11:23]
Vinnie Cuevas
I, at that time, I said feared because I didn't know what love was. I didn't feel it at all. And when I did have a girlfriend, I mean, she. She left too soon, and I was just spiteful. So to me, it was just. I needed to put fear and people be respected. And I was pretty notorious at it. And right now I'm, like, a little nervous talking about it because it's just not who I am now. And I couldn't believe that I was this human being. And it took a lot, a lot for me to get out of that mindset. It's not easy. It's almost like being a drug addict, you know, that rush, that adrenaline, to let go of that and become a normal human being.
- [12:05]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
- [12:05]
Vinnie Cuevas
It was hard. It was a hard transition.
- [12:08]
Rachel Yucatel
Right. And from what I read, it was interesting because it does seem like it was hard to get out of it, but at the same time, well, hard because you were getting money that you would have to now maybe go back to a 9 to 5 job or, you know, there was all sorts of things that there was going to be unstability in figuring out how you would make that kind of money in, like, an honest living and also, you know, to be respected like that and then go and work somewhere where somebody acts like you're an assistant. I mean, I've even been in situations like that. Different level, different scale. But I know that I went from running my own business, closing it During COVID and then going to work for someone and I remember being like, I used to run two stores and like, no. And like someone's talking to me like, I'm 25 and I don't know what I'm doing. And it was so offensive. And even though they had no idea why I would be offended, it was within me that I was like, I can't do this. And I literally left, walked out of the job. I'm like, I'm not doing this. Yeah. So you understand that, right? Like, of how hard it is. So, so what was it that finally. I mean, I know from reading your book, but can you tell our listeners how you finally got out of that lifestyle and why?
- [13:19]
Vinnie Cuevas
And it all happened not by accident, by the grace of God. I would say everybody was just getting busted. And I. I was questioned a lot by the feds, by the police, you know, to give people up. They offered me time, and I just never buckled because I knew when I got into that life what was expected and I was willing to take that. I was willing to take time. I was willing to die if I had to. They didn't believe it because everybody says that, but they saw with my behavior. Even my cousin who got addicted to drugs and just betrayed the same people who, who brought him up, I still, I still kept in a straight narrow, but everybody was going to jail. So it's almost like I just. I was left with no one.
- [14:01]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
- [14:02]
Vinnie Cuevas
Which it was my opportunity out. I would say that was the tunnel God gave me. Because had I stayed there, had these people not been Elizabeth, Rudy, Giuliani to go, but he was just taking everybody down.
- [14:13]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
- [14:14]
Vinnie Cuevas
The fact that I just never gave anybody up and they really had nothing on me. They'll try to put fear in you, of course, but I knew they had nothing on me. And if I needed to do time, I would just do it because I can't live with that. I pick the lifestyle, then I got to pick the consequences.
- [14:33]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
- [14:33]
Vinnie Cuevas
And it was all by accident that I left that business, to be honest.
- [14:37]
Rachel Yucatel
You brought up Rudy's name, another person I've had on the show. I'm curious. As someone who feared him so much because of you, because you saw what he was doing to New York at the time. What are your thoughts on who he is now today?
- [14:54]
Vinnie Cuevas
If I saw him, I would say you saved my life, literally, because it was just. It was in a really bad path. The power was becoming abundant. Like, I was just there. I was. I wasn't a made guy, but I had Made guys protecting, which is scary because he. But he was. He was just locking anybody up. We hated him. We didn't like him for obvious reasons. But, yeah, in retrospect, you're like Mr. Giuliani, Mr. Mayor, you. You saved my life. Yeah. Because for him, who knows? I probably wouldn't be having this conversation with you.
- [15:31]
Rachel Yucatel
Right? Right. And what do you think of this? What's going on in New York right now and the safety there, or lack of it. Like, how do you feel about people that are growing up in the Bronx and in Manhattan, by the way, versus back then when you were doing it?
- [15:46]
Vinnie Cuevas
I'll tell you one thing, if I grew up today in the Bronx, I'll be dead tomorrow. That's how bad it is.
- [15:52]
Rachel Yucatel
Wow. When I was not much worse.
- [15:55]
Vinnie Cuevas
Oh, it's horrible. The thing is, when I was growing up, we didn't have accessibility to arms. Wasn't that easy. Now anybody has a gun, anybody shoots anybody, anybody. You can't even argue. There was time. We squared it off. We fought.
- [16:09]
Rachel Yucatel
Right?
- [16:09]
Vinnie Cuevas
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- [16:46]
Rachel Yucatel
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- [18:40]
Vinnie Cuevas
It's not that I didn't care, is that I knew those were the possibilities. So you trained your brain?
- [18:46]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [18:46]
Vinnie Cuevas
It was either that or death. And I've been close to death several times. I don't even know why I'm here, but I've been close to death several times. More than. More so than being arrested because I don't have a criminal record, obviously. I'm just, you know, I knew how to do things and. And I said the right things. I just never had enough on me. And I was never going to give up my friends. And that may be a cliche. I was just never going to do that. So my brain was already set on that.
- [19:11]
Rachel Yucatel
And you. You just said you were close to death. In what way? Like you were getting. Like there was times you could have gotten in trouble.
- [19:18]
Vinnie Cuevas
I was shot at. I was pulled into a room because I recommended a guy who, who took. Who had a $10,000 dome. And he disappeared. So it was my recommendation I had to find them or I was gone. They took me in the back room and beat me down. And obviously I found them. Eventually. I found him. His sister got to me and, you know, I.
- [19:39]
Rachel Yucatel
Where is he today?
- [19:41]
Vinnie Cuevas
He's okay. Today I. I made sure he never did that again because the guys, the respect and love they have for me was the reason they didn't kill. Because once you vouch for somebody, doesn't matter if that person screws up. Irresponsible.
- [19:57]
Rachel Yucatel
Right. I totally get that.
- [19:59]
Vinnie Cuevas
And I've been shot at. I've been shot, so.
- [20:01]
Rachel Yucatel
Right. That was also in the book, which was what's kind of comical the way you wrote about it, how it was hard on your sex life to have been grazed by a bullet in your ass.
- [20:11]
Vinnie Cuevas
Oh yeah. Originally there was certain things I couldn't do. Movement wise, it gets better after a while, but it was a grace. But still it was, it was painful, right. You know, to this day I don't know if it was meant for me, you know, I really don't. And nobody ever spoke about it. I don't know if the same people that I was, that I love and respected so much actually has something to do with it. I just, I didn't ask any questions. I knew I had to just be careful. I knew that, that those are warnings.
- [20:42]
Rachel Yucatel
But also that was sort of a turning point that I read about in the book and tell me if I'm wrong, but it seemed like no one came to your defense to be like, we're going to figure out who did this. And so at that point you were like, I don't really have the kind of loyalty that I. I think so I need to get out. Is that kind of how that was written?
- [20:58]
Vinnie Cuevas
And it was disappointing because I don't know if they had something to do with it.
- [21:02]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
- [21:03]
Vinnie Cuevas
And if they, if they didn't, they just did nothing about it. So at this point I'm putting my life on the line for them and I'm not getting that in return. So I had to make a decision. But you just can't walk out of that life.
- [21:16]
Rachel Yucatel
Right?
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Vinnie Cuevas
You know, because, you know, a lot of that's right, their mentality as well, you know, if he gets pinched, he's going to speak, he's going to talk. So we might eliminate this threat. And it could have gotten to that. Like I said, Mr. Giuliani just clean house. So it just, who knows where it was going. I mean, they don't leave lose ends, I can guarantee you that. They don't leave loose ends.
- [21:40]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
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Vinnie Cuevas
The most loyal business either.
- [21:43]
Rachel Yucatel
Totally. So, all right. You talk about in your book how you, you do finally get out of there, you get a job at Radio City, you a lot of people, and you realize it's about relationships, which, you know, if it takes people a long time, me included, to learn that life really is about relationships and that's how you move forward in life. But you clearly talk about that also in the meantime in here you have children, you have a son and you have a daughter. The son was older than the daughter. And how old were your kids when you were like working at, were they Alive yet when you were at Radio City.
- [22:17]
Vinnie Cuevas
Yeah, my daughter was about 12. My son was in his 20s.
- [22:23]
Rachel Yucatel
Oh, okay, so. So you.
- [22:24]
Vinnie Cuevas
I was an adult. Yeah, I was an adult. Already got it.
- [22:28]
Rachel Yucatel
Okay, so they were. They were born earlier. And you are very open about it, that it seems like your parents really helped raise Vince, right?
- [22:39]
Vinnie Cuevas
My father. And. Which is why he redeemed himself so much. And I hold no grudge against him, which I have all the rights to, because what he didn't do with me, being that he was now a sober man, he didn't much time.
- [22:53]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
- [22:53]
Vinnie Cuevas
And I can't be paying for that. So I said, listen, let bygones be bygones. You know, maybe it was meant for this to happen so I could become the person I am today.
- [23:04]
Rachel Yucatel
Right, right. And you. You talk a lot about seeing differences in your children. Your son was more like you. Your daughter was very tender and, you know, very feminine, so to speak. Tell a little bit about your kids.
- [23:17]
Vinnie Cuevas
The absolute opposite. Like, my son sadly wanted to be me so bad. He pops. He had so much more talent than I did. The kid could sit. He can act without even trying because he wasn't disciplined. He was just that naturally talented. He was a great boxer. And. And I always try to guide him. I said, listen, it's almost like he. He grew up enough to know what I did. And there's people that speak that talk, which I preferred him not to, but also, they don't want to keep him in a bubble. I had to tell him what I don't want you to do in life. I don't want you to be me. You know, I want you to be the opposite of me. I want you to go to school, get an education, which I didn't have much of, and become. You have so much talent, you pick whichever one you want to do. He went the boxing route. It was going well into his next surgery, which we can get into, which led to his succumb, to his, you know, Tim not being with us anymore. And my daughter's just a sweetheart, you know, she's a bookworm. Like, she'll read six books a month. And it's the most amazing thing. Well raised. You know, her mother raised the. Well, I was always around, too, so my son was still raised in somewhat of a tumultuous environment.
- [24:32]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [24:33]
Vinnie Cuevas
Until he got older. And it's just what he knew. And he wanted to be me, not. He wanted to be.
- [24:39]
Rachel Yucatel
Right. So if it's okay, and I know it's a tough subject, but if we could Talk about Vince for a minute, just because I think it's so helpful for people that are listening that may have lost a child. My father died, actually, when he was 44 of a cocaine overdose. And his. I was 15. So it's the opposite. I lost a parent, but I. My grandmother, his mother never got out of bed after that. She could not function in life. She was a beautiful, remarkable woman who rarely left the house, basically could not function after that. And she lived for 40 more years or whatever. She lived forever. And her life was never to be the same. And the problem for her was that she never found purpose. And even though my brother and I were still alive, we lived in totally different parts of the United States. And she was so devastated by what happened, she could not find her footing. And it really changed her as a person. It changed her marriage. It changed everything. So for you, I want to hear how you learned. And to say moving on is not the right word, but how you got through it. And for people that have lost a child, how you work through grief, because it can. That grief, which I've also been through, can choke almost who you are, and it can make you feel stuck. And, you know, it is. And I'm very sorry, by the way, for your loss. It's. It's an incredible, undescribable loss that obviously, only you know how that feels to you, and I'm so sorry for you. But I want people to be able to learn from your experience.
- [26:23]
Vinnie Cuevas
Oh, absolutely. Like you said, you don't get over that. You. You move forward or you move around. The pain you have. The purpose is my daughter. My daughter and I've been around. I was crippled for a year. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go. I would leave my house and forget where I was going. I would fly everywhere. Even in my current job, I would. There were times I'll see someone who looks like him, and I'll go into the bathroom and start crying. Blood pressure. I mean, none of my colleagues knew it, because that's. They don't need to worry about me like that.
- [26:58]
Rachel Yucatel
Right.
- [26:58]
Vinnie Cuevas
And it's a pain that'll always be there that doesn't go away. You got to learn to manage it. And it's sporadic. The pain is sporadic. It'll come and go, and you just. You fight. See, what I learned to do is celebrate his life and not mourning. Because I was just born. I was born in the cemetery four times a week. It was just a shoe on me. So I said, you Know what? I'm just not gonna bring him back. So I should just celebrate who he was. It was 33 years that I had him, his talents, and just celebrate it. And this is what I do now. And it's just how you train your brain. It's just how you train. I go once a week, and we have a good time, me and him, you know, and that's. But the pain is forever. Okay? And it's not. It's hard to describe it. And I don't even ever want you to even understand that, you know, because the pain is forever. And I totally get your grandma. It's just. It's brutal. Yeah.
- [27:53]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [27:53]
Vinnie Cuevas
But.
- [27:56]
Rachel Yucatel
I'm so sorry. But it is great that you are able to figure out some other purpose. Like you have really found your footing in what you love to do now. You're a screenwriter, you're an actor. You work in the security industry doing things, and where it's very evident you've found a family and the people that you work with. So it's funny, in reading your book throughout, the arc of. Of what you. You write about is this loyalty and this power and how even though it's different from your childhood, it seems like you have found it in where you are now. And it's something that you can continue to build and grow depending on how much you write or what. What kind of acting you do or what kind of gigs you're getting. But it sounds like you are. Are finding your way, if not have found it to be really good right now.
- [28:50]
Vinnie Cuevas
Very true. It's a work in progress till they. I die. I guess the transition is there. Like, I mean, I was loyal to people that weren't good people, but they were good to me. But now I'm good. I'm loyal to good people that are good people. My colleagues are. I love them to death. They saved me from so much. My boss. And they don't realize because I never speak about it, but when I met this group of beautiful human beings, I was in a dark spot. I was in a dark place. Being able to stay busy is very important, you know, and the amount of love they treat me is the amount of love I get back, you know? And that's something you can't. You can't replace it. And it's something I would never want to. I would never want to go back to that lifestyle that I once lived. It was so perilous. And this is what I want now. Yeah. You don't make the money you make. The money's nothing. Money don't mean I'm not taking any of that. Love life. I'm still trying to figure that out.
- [29:45]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah. I was going to talk to you about your love life because you write about a couple, you talk about a couple different women in there. It seems like someone who was somewhat of a love of your life died very quickly of ovarian cancer. What. What was that like?
- [30:00]
Vinnie Cuevas
I was, I was in the moment of my life. I was just ruthless. I met this young lady in a party, adorable human being. And right away you get the butterflies and stuff. I said, this could be the one, you know? And still didn't tell her what I did. I didn't. I told her I was in a moving company, I remember, and I would get people jobs and stuff like that. And we, we fell in love. I was very young, I was in my 20s. And it was just like I always wanted to see her. And then one day she wasn't feeling well, went to the doctor. She had all these that's done. Finds out she had ovarian cancer, stage four. I had enough money to pay for her medical treatments that sometimes insurances give you a hard time with.
- [30:48]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [30:49]
Vinnie Cuevas
And. But to no avail. Like she succumbed to the disease in like four months. And it just destroyed me.
- [30:55]
Rachel Yucatel
Wow.
- [30:56]
Vinnie Cuevas
And I was like, I was like, I try to do it because that was going to be my way out. And I said, I try to do the right thing and it's just not meant for me. So I was just, I was just revolting against everyone. Everything that stood in my path. They want to know about love. I didn't know about women. I just wanted to do what I had to do. And inflicting pain, sadly to say, was my therapy. And it's sad to say that, but that was an unfortunate situation. It was a big loss in my life and I still think about it.
- [31:31]
Rachel Yucatel
So do you think that it's on your bucket list to have a long term relationship or get married? Do you even want to do that?
- [31:37]
Vinnie Cuevas
I would love that. It's amazing. So 43 years old.
- [31:41]
Rachel Yucatel
Rachel, are you on dating apps? Like what are you doing today?
- [31:44]
Vinnie Cuevas
Never done that.
- [31:46]
Rachel Yucatel
What?
- [31:46]
Vinnie Cuevas
Why ever done date? I just have it. I mean anybody puts filters and all that, I wanna, I want to be in love with the person.
- [31:55]
Rachel Yucatel
That's true. But. But by the way, that's how Dan and I met. Did you know that we met on a dating app?
- [32:00]
Vinnie Cuevas
Really?
- [32:01]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [32:01]
Vinnie Cuevas
I had no idea. I had no idea that was on dating.
- [32:04]
Rachel Yucatel
But Dan and I met like four years ago on the Dating app, had a phone call. But then I lived in New York, he lived in Florida. And like, so we didn't meet for like two and a half or three years, whatever it was. And then finally after him, you know, writing me all the time. And then I think we follow each other on Instagram for, like three years. So I kind of saw how his life was going, he saw how my was. And then we got together and essentially we were friends for a while. And then we were like, why aren't we dating each other? This is weird, because we found that we really liked each other. So my advice, I mean, who am I? But I would say because also, I'm 50, I've dated a lot of different people and it hasn't worked. And I always am like, this could be it. I always wanted to get married. You know, I've been married a couple times, but so I've made some mistakes, but. Right. So. Okay. So the bottom line is, I think dating apps could be interesting. Next time I see you, we're going to make one for you and we're.
- [33:03]
Vinnie Cuevas
Going to help me. I definitely will.
- [33:04]
Rachel Yucatel
I will totally help you. We'll go through the girls. I'm really good at weeding out who's good and who's totally fake. Because, listen, most girls put a filter. They look like they're 15 pounds thinner and 20 years younger. So we got to find the right one.
- [33:19]
Vinnie Cuevas
Oh, you got it. You'll be my love agent.
- [33:22]
Rachel Yucatel
Okay, good. I love that.
- [33:23]
Vinnie Cuevas
I will love that.
- [33:24]
Rachel Yucatel
So fun. Okay. And then another thing I wrote. I made a note to ask you about. You talk about a party that you went to in there, which was very reminiscent to what we've heard recently about, which was like those freak offs, like the Diddy party. You don't mention who you were invited by. It was a comedian. It doesn't seem like it was puffy, but. But can you talk about what that party was like and is it similar to what we've read about?
- [33:51]
Vinnie Cuevas
Unfortunately, I can't mention. I can tell you in private, but I can't. Okay, but yeah, it was. It wasn't to that extent. There was no minors. Everybody was ID checked. I remember. And they have pouches where we put our phones in. I was a manager of security. He invited me. I went. And the first thing I. I see couples having oral sex. Okay. I've been there before. I've seen this before. But then I see the drug game. I wasn't judging it. What happened was I lived during that type of life. I lived in that lifestyle. And I said it was almost like luring. It was almost like, you can't take an alcoholic bar.
- [34:31]
Rachel Yucatel
Sure.
- [34:33]
Vinnie Cuevas
So I was like, I had two choices. The further I walked in there, the further I got involved. Or I could have just walked out and said, this is not for me anymore because everything was available. I never in my life done drugs, never touched it, hate it, but very promiscuous at one point in my life. And there were beautiful women there. So it's like the temptation is there. And it was. It wasn't like you had to work for it.
- [34:56]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [34:57]
Vinnie Cuevas
You know, so. But I decided to leave. And the next day I saw him at his last show and I actually started laughing and he understood. He understood where I was coming from.
- [35:09]
Rachel Yucatel
So there was no peer pressure. It was fine.
- [35:12]
Vinnie Cuevas
No, no, no, no. Actually, he was. When I left, he still hadn't shown up. He, you know, I got there a little, which I wasn't supposed. It was kind of conflict of interest. My Radio City had that rule where you couldn't really lingle with the talent, go to after parties. And with the Radio City Rockettes, you can't really fall in love. I broke that rule. But, you know, so. But it was crazy. And it's, it's no lying when you hear about these parties. This was insane.
- [35:41]
Rachel Yucatel
Wow.
- [35:42]
Vinnie Cuevas
You know, everything go. But there were no. I mean, I can't say for sure, but I didn't see any. On the age. That would have been something else. I didn't see any.
- [35:50]
Rachel Yucatel
Right, right. Okay, tell us what is happening now in your life and what your bucket list is in the future. Like, are you working on any movies? Do you want to focus more on acting? Writing? Like, where are we at?
- [36:04]
Vinnie Cuevas
I think my acting days are over. By choice, I'm more of a writer, which is my therapy. I have this series called Blood Air, which I'm shopping now to networks is doing well. I also wrote a story for the Point of Sisters that's in the works, so we'll see if that pans out. I'm not very educated. I'm self educated and I've learned a lot on my own through trials and tribulations and I'm very good at telling stories. You're free to read anyone you want. And I have like 13 screenplays, all of different genres except Rom com. I'm not really at that level yet.
- [36:45]
Rachel Yucatel
Well, because you have to, you have to live your own rom com, Vinny.
- [36:49]
Vinnie Cuevas
You know, as always, I got to be self experienced.
- [36:51]
Rachel Yucatel
Yes, you have to get yourself, which.
- [36:53]
Vinnie Cuevas
Is where you're going to come in. Right.
- [36:55]
Rachel Yucatel
So, yep. As long as I make it in the screenplay, too. I could be the woman with the crystal ball or whatever and I get to make it.
- [37:04]
Vinnie Cuevas
You got your own. You got your own way in there.
- [37:06]
Rachel Yucatel
Okay. All right. Well, I love it. So I want people to know that they should absolutely get this book from the. From the Bronx with scars. Where can people find it?
- [37:20]
Vinnie Cuevas
You can find it on Amazon. It's simply. You have an Amazon account. Type it up. It's also in Barnes and Nobles, so if it's not in the store itself, you can have them. I would say just get it through Amazon. It's the easiest bet.
- [37:33]
Rachel Yucatel
Okay. Very easy.
- [37:34]
Vinnie Cuevas
Very easy. If you happen to walk to Barnes and Nobles, you go in there, get it. But you know, being that it's self published, is only 85 pages because it's quite expensive and.
- [37:44]
Rachel Yucatel
Oh, got it.
- [37:45]
Vinnie Cuevas
The legalities that come with it, like publication companies, they take care of you legal wise age. You mention someone, they decide they want to sue you, which happens all the time. So that's why I was very meticulous with the names I put with the organizations I put. Because I didn't want any. I mean, I wouldn't get hammered.
- [38:02]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [38:02]
Vinnie Cuevas
So you can. You could definitely get it there. And I'm thinking about writing a screenplay on it. I don't want it to be similar to Bronx Tale. You know, I wanted to, you know, I have an idea. So I'm working on that idea. And I think a book is a segue into a screenplay because it gets in the hands of any producer. They may say they want to, you know, they want to put it together. So that's still up in the air. Fingers crossed.
- [38:25]
Rachel Yucatel
Yes, fingers crossed. We all have our fingers crossed for you. And last two questions. What do you think is the most misunderstood thing about you?
- [38:33]
Vinnie Cuevas
The most risk? A lot of people think. They don't think I'm home. A lot of people may look at me as arrogant and I'm the total opposite. Maybe if I like to dress well, you know, I throw the medallions on, you know, I like to match my watches with my insurance. And they think I'm. Until they meet me. So I'm always misunderstood that way. People, oh, my God, I thought you were this type of person. And I. And a lot of people don't know because it's not. I don't need to do advertisers. I help the homeless a lot. I go around like I did in San Francisco. I saw a bunch of homeless people with dogs. And I would go into Target and get them dog food. Food here, which is. I'm gonna spend like $150. It makes me feel good.
- [39:19]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah.
- [39:20]
Vinnie Cuevas
Because I've been there. I've been where nobody's around the house. That's a crappy feeling.
- [39:25]
Rachel Yucatel
Yeah. Yeah.
- [39:27]
Vinnie Cuevas
So that's the things people don't know about.
- [39:30]
Rachel Yucatel
It's funny because I think that you do come off as intimidating, maybe that you, you know, you look great, you dress well, and people don't realize that you have this whole story behind you. And, you know, I think it's a common misconception or whatever with people in general that, you know, unless you make yourself a little bit vulnerable and talk about what you're going through, people won't know that about you. But that's the only real way to connect with someone. So, like you said, you started working with a lot of the people at your company and they didn't know you were having a hard time or going through something. I can pretty much guarantee that everyone is going through something at some point and would never want to bring it up because they would think that no one understands. And that's the most universal thing about us, that at some point, we've all felt stuck, we've all felt loss or feeling like a discount version of ourselves or whatever it is. So I think that, you know, just connecting and doing conversations like this, people understand you so much better. My last question for you is if anyone's listening, that is in the situation that you came from. Like, they worked hard in their younger years doing things that they may have, like, you know, it may have been questioning. It might have been a gangster lifestyle. It might have been something that they don't feel fulfilled in because it's not bringing them into who they really are. How would you sort of. What advice would you give to someone to make that transition of really becoming themselves and finding a purpose in a way that they don't have to fear their stability anymore?
- [41:03]
Vinnie Cuevas
Well, the one thing I will say, anyone involved in the lifestyle that I live nowadays, and I'm going to be blunt with them, you're not going to survive in a beautiful. This is a different era. There's no respect. Law and order is out the window. Pops. Hands are tied. They're not going to help you out by political reasons. So I would say pick a forte. Everybody has a forte, and run with it, because if you don't and you don't need people support, I don't want to hear that Nobody supports me. You know, I use that excuse. And if you have something, everybody has something they're good at, just run with it. Make it happen. I don't care how hard. You got some pencils, you sell pencils, you do it. Because a lifestyle, it's just. It's not sustainable. Not nowadays. No. Back then, remember, you got technology now. You got surveillance, you got dogs, you had drones. You just can't get away with it.
- [41:58]
Rachel Yucatel
Right?
- [41:59]
Vinnie Cuevas
So I tell them it's just not. Not worth it.
- [42:02]
Rachel Yucatel
Right. And what you said, I think makes a lot of sense. If you pick something to do and be really good at it and stand out for what you do, everyone has.
- [42:10]
Vinnie Cuevas
Something they're really good at.
- [42:12]
Rachel Yucatel
Yes.
- [42:13]
Vinnie Cuevas
No one is.
- [42:15]
Rachel Yucatel
I love it. All right, well, Vinnie, it's been an honor and a pleasure to have met you and get to speak to you again. Everybody from the Bronx with scars, you can pick it up at Amazon, please read it. It's really good. As you mentioned, it's not that long. You can read it, you know, very easily, on a train ride, on an airplane. So I definitely recommend it. I loved it and I wish you the best of luck and I can't wait to see you next time on a stratoscope.
- [42:40]
Vinnie Cuevas
I'm totally honored. Thank you. The first time I've ever spoken about this publicly like this, and I'm glad it was you.
- [42:47]
Rachel Yucatel
Oh, you're so sweet.
- [42:48]
Vinnie Cuevas
No, no. So we'll definitely. But you gotta. You gotta get the love agent going thing 100.
- [42:53]
Rachel Yucatel
We're making that happen. I cannot wait.
- [42:56]
Vinnie Cuevas
I can't wait either. It's a pleasure. Thank you. Say hi to Dan.
- [42:59]
Rachel Yucatel
I will. Thank you so much for listening to Misunderstood. I'm your host, Rachel Yukatel. Please be sure to subscribe to the show and give us a five star rating and review. You can support the show by joining our patreon@patreon.com misunderstood with Rachel Ukitel. Do you have ideas for the show or want to reach out? Email us@infomisunderstoodpodcastmail.com that's spelled M I S S. Understood. Thank you so much and I'll see you next time.
- [43:40]
Vinnie Cuevas
Hey, Sal.
- [43:41]
Rachel Yucatel
Hank.
- [43:42]
Vinnie Cuevas
What's going on? We haven't worked a case in years. I just bought my car at Carvana and it was so easy. Too easy. Think something's up?
- [43:49]
Rachel Yucatel
You tell me.
- [43:50]
Vinnie Cuevas
They got thousands of options, found a great car at a great price, and it got delivered the next day. It sounds like Carvana just makes it easy to buy your car. Hank. Yeah, you're right. Case closed.
- [44:04]
Rachel Yucatel
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