The Truth Within The Lie with Dana Grant

Summary

Podcast Summary

Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

Episode: The Truth Within The Lie with Dana Grant

Date: January 31, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode features a raw, honest conversation between host Rachel Uchitel and Dana Grant—author, coach, and spiritual mentor—exploring the difference between the stories people tell themselves and the deeper truths beneath those narratives. Together, they confront misconceptions, discuss surviving personal and public crises, and examine universal principles for reclaiming one's power, living authentically, and finding self-acceptance. Dana shares insights from her new book, "The Truth Within The Lie," and offers tangible steps for personal transformation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Living in Survival and Chaos

• Dana’s Early Life and Betrayal: Dana describes decades defined by chaos, trauma, and self-deception, driven by a need for external safety and fueled by traumatic events—including her husband’s loss of medical license and a sexual assault trial.
• Dana: "The truth was the medicine was killing me. But I had told myself the medicine is saving me. And that was the lie." [00:36]
• Living with Illness: She discusses years of debilitating illness, including surviving on 20,000 mg of Demerol a month and multiple staph infections, resulting from both physical and psychosomatic causes.
• Realization: "I tore those up without a game plan... all the lies that I told myself to survive, just to survive, and the truth is they weren't true at all." [05:31]

2. The Power of Story and Self-Identification

• Chaos as Identity: Both Dana and Rachel relate to chaos becoming a norm, creating cycles of desperation and survival mode.
• Claiming Wellness: Dana discusses the transformative power of reprogramming self-talk: "Whatever we speak into existence, our life will follow." [07:53]

3. Universal Laws and Principles

• Dana’s Book: She introduces 14 universal laws, with emphasis on practical ways to embody them.
• Law of Vibration: "Everything vibrates… If you have joy in your life, you’re up around the 700 [energy], shame is down by 20. It’s a pyramid of energy… If you want a different outcome, you’re going to have to stretch, you’ve got to get uncomfortable.” [10:35, 14:49]
• Manifestation Reality Check: Rachel questions the practicality of simple affirmations ("The Secret"), and Dana clarifies the importance of tangible steps and process attachment over outcome obsession: "Stay married to the process, which means our greatest power is the right to choose in the current moment." [13:13]
• Gratitude’s Force: Gratitude is identified as the highest vibrational energy. Dana recommends routine self-check-ins to reset mindset and language.
• Brené Brown Reference: "It’s not the fear that stops us, it’s the armor that we keep picking back up and putting back on." [16:44]

4. Sacrifice and Self-Abandonment

• The Law of Sacrifice: Dana describes personally sacrificing both destructive medications and a false sense of safety rooted in others, especially after betrayal and public crisis.
• Dana: “I had to sacrifice the versions of me that were terrified... and start claiming and being willing to be uncomfortable.” [22:49]
• Choosing Authenticity: “Your greatest power in this life is the right to choose, and that only happens in the present moment.” [24:51]

5. Forgiveness, Shame, and the Inner Critic

• Forgiveness as a Core Law: Dana argues self-forgiveness is essential, going hand-in-hand with integrating past versions of oneself: "I couldn’t talk about my life like I do if I didn’t forgive the versions of me that got me here." [25:56]
• Acknowledging the Inner Child: Being aware of which “age” is acting out—rage, shame, self-sabotage—and offering that version compassion and gratitude.

6. Energy, Abundance, and Alignment

• Everything as Energy: "Money follows authority. Money is just an energy. Every story that you’ve created in your life is just that. Ask… is it true, or is that a lie?" [27:03]
• Alignment Defined: "If I’m aligned, that means I’ve stepped out of the way. My ego is in check... We just want to calm it down… Alignment is about ownership." [28:26]

7. Confronting Secrets and Vulnerability

• Universal Lies: Dana sees most clients believing they are uniquely unworthy or that their secrets are more damning than anyone else’s. She urges vulnerability and connection as a path to healing: "Through vulnerability, we find alignment and we share our stories to help others." [29:34]
• Rachel on Group Vulnerability: Sharing a powerful story of group vulnerability overcoming shame during a speaking event. [30:13]

8. Compassion for Self and the Power of Language

• The Power of One-Liners: Even small moments—like a cruel comment from a teacher—can shape decades of self-judgment. Dana emphasizes the need for extreme self-compassion. [32:06]
• Dana: "There’s no more intimate relationship you’re gonna have with anybody than yourself." [33:34]

9. Masculine and Feminine Energy

• Receiving vs. Doing: Balancing the body’s masculine (right) and feminine (left) energy channels is crucial; blocked receiving energy (feminine) shows up as over-functioning and reluctance to accept help. [33:51]

10. Abundance in Action

• “Fake It Till You Make It” Myth: Rachel challenges manifestation culture that promotes outward displays of wealth as key to abundance. Dana distinguishes between reckless spending and intentional claiming of desires, recounting her own experience of buying a new car as a symbolic and energetic shift. [36:31]

11. Closing Inspiration

• Dana’s Mission: "That everyone realizes they deserve to deeply heal and love themselves, that abundance is available to them, that they can start challenging the stories. And they don’t have to make people wrong. I just want them to take ownership." [41:23]
• Practical Steps:
  1. Set Reminders: "Set a timer on your phone right now… When that goes off, ask yourself, ‘What’s my most dominant thought?’" [44:04]
  2. Challenge Stories: Question the truth behind every self-sabotaging belief.
  3. Take Micro Steps: Focus on micro, not macro; consistent small actions compound.
  4. Practice Gratitude: Acknowledge the versions of yourself who survived your journey.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dana Grant:

  • “The truth was the medicine was killing me. But I had told myself the medicine is saving me. And that was the lie.” [00:36]
  • “Whatever we speak into existence, our life will follow.” [07:53]
  • “Stay married to the process… our greatest power is the right to choose in the current moment.” [13:13]
  • “I had to sacrifice the versions of me that were terrified... and start claiming and being willing to be uncomfortable.” [22:49]
  • “I couldn’t talk about my life like I do if I didn’t forgive the versions of me that got me here.” [25:56]
  • “Money is just an energy. Every story that you’ve created in your life is just that. Ask yourself, is it true or is that a lie?” [27:03]
  • "There’s no more intimate relationship you’re gonna have with anybody than yourself." [33:34]

• Rachel Uchitel:

  • “Everyone has a lie, everyone is telling themselves something negative. And we’re all the same in that way.” [25:04]
  • “What connects us is vulnerability… once you are vulnerable, like that’s what connects us and that’s like that lie in your head.” [31:34]

• Brené Brown (cited by Dana):

  • “It’s not the fear that stops us, it’s the armor that we keep picking back up and putting back on.” [16:44]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:36: Dana reveals the “truth within the lie” regarding her illness and dependency on medication.
• 05:31: Dana’s realization that she was living to survive, not thrive.
• 07:53: The transformative power of language and belief.
• 10:35–14:49: How universal laws of vibration and abundance work in daily life.
• 16:44: Discussion of subconscious, ego, and vulnerability—plus the Brené Brown quote.
• 22:49: The Law of Sacrifice and sacrificing destructive personal narratives.
• 25:56: The necessity of self-forgiveness and gratitude for messy past versions.
• 27:03: Universal Law of Energy; everything as energy.
• 29:34: The most common “lies” people live and the power of group vulnerability.
• 33:34: Compassion for past selves as the gateway to transformation.
• 33:51–35:41: Masculine/feminine energy balance and being open to receiving.
• 36:31–40:32: Buying a luxury car as an act of energetic claiming.
• 44:04: Dana’s top three simple steps for listeners to start challenging their stories.

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Main Takeaways & Action Steps

• Monitor Your Self-Talk: Regularly pause and assess your dominant thoughts; your subconscious is running most of your life.
• Challenge Old Stories: Ask if your core beliefs and fears are really true, or simply inherited or outdated.
• Take Micro Steps Toward Change: True transformation is the result of small, consistent choices, not grand quantum leaps.
• Gratitude, Not Shame: Thank the earlier versions of yourself—every messy, traumatized, struggling part—for getting you to today.
• Self-Forgiveness and Compassion: Essential for healing, allowing you to move forward in alignment rather than with shame.
• Action, Not Just Intention: Manifesting and abundance require both claiming and consistent action; this is neither magical thinking nor reckless leap, but a partnership with the universe.

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Contact & Book Info

• Dana Grant Contact: Instagram @therealdanagrant and www.danagrant.com
• Book: "The Truth Within The Lie" available on Amazon and in bookstores (January release); audiobook coming soon.
• Dana offers: One-on-one coaching, mastermind programs, and speaking engagements.

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This episode offers a blend of spiritual principles, self-help psychology, and practical, compassionate advice for anyone seeking to break out of old patterns and “rewrite the headline” of their own lives.

Transcript

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[Rachel Yucatel]

Today on Misunderstood with Rachel Yucatel Finish this sentence the truth within the lie.

[Dana Grant]

Is the truth was. The medicine was killing me. But I had told myself the medicine is saving me. And that was the lie. And I had 17 forms of staph in my leg. I probably would have lost my legs. I was literally dying. I needed external safety. For me, that was my husband. He lost his medical license. He went through a sexual assault trial.

[Rachel Yucatel]

How did you survive through that?

[Dana Grant]

Well, I would sit and I would teach. Then I would crawl out of my chair and lay on my floor and fall apart. 95% of our subconscious is running the show. Your subconscious is saying and your ego saying, I don't know that over there. Let me protect you. Brene Brown said something brilliant recently. She said it's not the fear that stops us, it's the armor that we keep picking back up and putting back on.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Everyone has a lie. Everyone is telling themselves something negative. And we're all the same in that way.

[Dana Grant]

Foreign.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Welcome back to Misunderstood. I'm your host, Rachel. You could tell what happens when the life you've built starts to feel like a performance. When you realize you spent years playing small, following rules that were never yours and dimming your own light so others could feel comfortable. Dana Grant knows that moment intimately. She calls it a spiritual reckoning, the moment when pretending ends and truth begins. In her new book, the Truth within the Lie, Dana offers what she describes as a no fluff, fire breathing wake up call. It's raw, it's real, and it's rooted in the idea that everything we've been told about worth, safety and success might actually be a lie. Through her own story of trauma, resilience and spiritual realignment, Dana guides readers back to the universal principles that govern all creation. Alignment, truth, intention, and divine timing, the energetic laws that determine how we create love and heal.

Today, we're talking about what it really.

Takes to burn down the old narrative, reclaim your power and live a life that actually feels like your own. This is Dana Grant, and this is the truth within the lie.

Dana, thank you so much for joining me today on Misunderstood. I know we've been trying to do this for a while, so I appreciate the time.

[Dana Grant]

Oh, Rachel, thanks for having me. Yeah, of course. I'm digging this today.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah. So you have this amazing book out now called the Truth within the Lie. What made you write this book at this point in your life?

[Dana Grant]

You know, I think there was a version that I had to, that I think I identified with so many people that I was working with that we create these stories and this alignment and it wasn't true. Everything I had created, I had a big trauma. Not that I hadn't had a lot already. I called in a lot of chaos, a lot of betrayal. And I had kind of identified the core wound and the core fear. So that was the first. And then I started to identify it in my life and business partnerships everywhere. But then in my marriage, you know, I was closing in on a 30 year marriage and it just went ba boom. It was big, big betrayal, big everything. And I think that through that healed version, I realized the lie I'd been living and the truth of what was really what I needed to do.

[Rachel Yucatel]

So do you mind if we get into that a little bit? I'm curious, like, where you were at in your life and what you went through to be able to. Because I was reading a lot of this stuff and I was like, well, what's the lie and what is the truth? And so it's helpful to hear it from you, but like, what did you have to go through to kind of come out of it and look at it from a different lens and be like, wait a minute, what am I really living with here?

[Dana Grant]

Well, I think what I was really living with for the first 50 years of my life was a lot of chaos. There was just a lot of chaos. Everything I did there, it didn't align. But I didn't know that anything I achieved, it was really trauma driven. So nothing could be repeatable except for my bad behavior. And I. I had a lot of bad behavior, you know, and I didn't know what to do about it. So what I believe to be true, I got sick in my late 20s. I was working as a lobbyist and I got really sick. So I believe somewhere along the way with the specialist that the medicine was saving my life. And I think that I woke up one day in my late 40s and they were giving me 20,000. This is a great truth and lie. I'll give you an analogy there. The truth was the medicine was killing me, but I had told myself, the medicine is saving me. And that was the lie, really. The truth is the medicine was killing me. But in my mind, to keep that on board for over a decade or longer was, this is saving my life. So I had.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Can I just ask a quick question on the side? Do you believe that the illness you were going through had to do with something psychosomatic, Stress, chaos, or were you really sick with something?

[Dana Grant]

Oh, this is a really good question because people fight me on this one all the time, and they say I really had the symptoms. I really was sick. I really have cancer. I believe that it is real. My migraines were real. I was hospitalized 10 days a month. I was so sick, I was debilitated. And then I got to the point where I had 20,000 milligrams of Demerol. I was taking a month because they couldn't do anything for me. I was off the cuff. I had been to every specialist everywhere in the world. This is before Imitrx even came out. There weren't the medications there are now. There was nothing they could do for me. So they said, hey, we're going to give you some quality of life. And I believed that. But it wasn't until I was brave enough to say, you know what? The truth is, this is killing me. This medicine is going to kill me. And I had 17 forms of staph in my leg that came after that. I probably would have lost my legs, barely saved them because of the staph infections from the injections. I was underweight. I was depleted nutritionally. I was literally dying. But I didn't tell myself that. I said, oh, my God, if I don't have this field, I'm going to die. So I tore those up without a game plan on what I was going to do and how I was going to live. So the truth within the lie is all the lies that I told myself to survive, just to survive, and the truth is they weren't true at all.

[Rachel Yucatel]

I totally understand that living with chaos. I think so many of us have done that and survived on chaos and called that back into our lives because we almost enjoy that up and down, you know, the feel like, the. The emotions that go with the success that you get and then the failure and the success, like that kind of emotion of that up and down. Seems like you understand both sides of the pendulum. But if you have that chaos in your life all the time, it depletes your mind, your body, your heart. And you're also in a, in my opinion, a place of desperation. You know, you're going from thing to thing, person to person, whatever the situation is. And you are in a survival mode almost. And talking about your symptoms and your headaches. I'm somebody who also struggled with migraines for a long time, but without a plan and getting off of the imitrex.

[Dana Grant]

How.

[Rachel Yucatel]

And finally realizing this was killing you. How did you just survive the headaches? Like, what did you do to change your physical symptoms?

[Dana Grant]

You know, I think I'd already started some work, and I recognized the breath work and, you know, my shoulders were, like, always knotted up. I couldn't move my neck most of the time. I think that I braced for the headaches I anticipated. I didn't even know what life would be without them. So I started a different mantra, a different program, and that's. I started writing a new program. I believed I was well. I would tell myself I was well, and literally my life moved into that. Now, it wasn't overnight, but the minute you claim that, and this is my book, you know, the universal. The minute you claim that wellness, the universe comes in to support you. And I see it over and over again. I don't identify, but I used to claim that, you know, whatever we speak into existence, our life will follow. I would claim I'm a migraineur, which meant you can't count on me. I'm going to get sick at any given time, and I am really, really off the cuff sick. I don't ever identify with that anymore. You know, it's. Yeah, it's. So I would lead with that. Like, I'm a migraineur. You know, just like I'm a lobbyist or I'm a life mentor, or I'm a psychic. Whatever I speak into existence, my life is gonna follow. This goes with lack and scarcity, abundance, anything. You know, we have to be the authority in our life. And my authority was, hey, married a practitioner. I'm a. I'm a migraineur. And I'm gonna hide most of the time because I don't want you to see me how sick I am. And then I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna be perfection paralysis. I'm going to scream and create chaos because I don't know anything different. And I'm. I'm. The pendulum just swung back and forth. Wow. Debilitating perfection. And now it's just like I live in the middle.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Wow. Okay. So you talk in your book about. I think it was 14 universal use universal principles in the book, Am I right? Yeah, from you talk about vibration, forgiveness, divine oneness. Can we kind of go through some of them and explain to like listen. And there are people that have either never heard these terms before or they think they're kind of woo woo, right? And they kind of glaze out. So let's walk through some of them, some of your favorites that are tangible ones that we can all like be like, oh yeah, that's me. And help us understand how to find these or understand these.

[Dana Grant]

Well, you know, believe it or not, whether you know about them or not, you're utilizing them every day. You're showing up and the universal laws are at play. So if you are focused on I can't afford that, it's too much. And you're constantly in this lack and scarcity mode. Your life is going to follow so that it's universal law of abundance. What would your life look like if you spoke abundance abundantly about your life? Which means I do a lot of modalities in the book which mean you have to root yourself, which our root chakra is our feet, our number one. And we've got to root ourselves in abundance. That means we gotta upgrade our language and our language should sound somewhere like this. I am abundant all the time. The universe is always working for me, not against me. We just change it up with little things.

[Rachel Yucatel]

You know, I think are you talking in terms of manifesting?

[Dana Grant]

Like with well manifesting. But you're utilize the universal law of abundance. But first you ask my favorites. I would say the universal law of vibration. Everything vibrates, everything has a vibration. You know, if we look at where you're vibrating, if you have joy in your life, you're up around, you know, the 700 shame is down by 20. It's a, it's a pyramid of energy. In the middle is neutrality. You've got to put a demand on the universe and that's universal laws. You be which means you've got to ask for what you want. People think I'm not getting what I want. Well, you sure aren't. Look what you just said, I'm not getting what I want. You just spoke it into existence. So I say upgrade your language, pay very close attention to your words. Because I can remember what I used to say. I'm a migraineur. Oh no, I can't do that. And guess what? I couldn't for over a decade. And I, and I think there's. Yeah, the core, the core fear is probably I'm not enough for me, I'm not smart enough. I'm not enough I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. All, all those. Yeah, I could. So.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Okay. I feel like. Did you read the Secret? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. I feel like at some point in college or whatever, we all read the Secret. We're all like, okay, I'm gonna say I am going to have a million dollars. It's gonna happen, you know, and it ended up sort of being a joke because you were like, well, you can't really talk like that. And it's just gonna happen because a lot of it is setting the intentions right and you have to have some responsibility in it. So yeah, what you're talking about is interesting because I have someone who just had this conversation with me yesterday. She was somewhat in tears about how she has come away from who she used to be. She used to be making a lot of money. Her husband used to be making a lot more money. They were abundant, they were living a good life and they took a step back for whatever reason, their choices, they decided to switch careers, whatever. And now they are living. I don't want to say the word scarcity, but it's feels like that. And I think in a daily way she feels unhappy because. And it's correlated to, let's say, money for her right now. How would someone like. And I feel like so many people I know are stuck in that place where they want to say, okay, I want to live in abundance. I want to feel happy, I want to have abundance around me so that I can feel like I could do what I want. I can make my dreams come true, I can have the things I want. But how do they really do that besides just speaking it like what are those actionable things? Because I felt bad and I didn't know how to say it, but I've been in that place, I was there kind of recently where I didn't feel like I had all the things I wanted.

[Dana Grant]

Yeah, well, you know what? It's the attachment. I always say stay married to the process, which means our greatest power is the right to choose in the current moment. If I'm taking my old stories of who I was, I know who's in charge. The ego is. And my heart centered energy, where all my movement and all my expansion is going to be. The ego is going to contract. And what did she make that mean about her life that she stepped back? They don't have as much money that we're broke, we don't have enough. We're. There's scarcity, there's lack. Oh my. And then the heart starts Pumping. Oh, my gosh. And then the constriction. And then the ego comes in to make that mean something about you. And it's. It's what we make it mean. And what is she. I would have said to her yesterday, hey, what do you make that mean about you? I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. I'm never going to be enough. I'm never going to get back there. Well, the old version doesn't need you, and the version up there doesn't need you. The version that needs you is in the here and now. And that brings me to the universal law of cause and effect. What people don't understand is cause and effect. There's an effect to everything we do, but we are first cause you must choose you over and over and over again. And then the universe vibrates. And when you speak your life into existence, if I keep saying there's not enough, there's not enough, there's not enough. There's never going to be enough. Or if I, you know, and I coach my face off about this and I watch. I watched someone today and just before I hopped on here, she's in Italy and she's creating this incredible retreats. A year ago, there wasn't enough. She couldn't do it. Absolutely. I mean, she was in a whole different. I'm watching the paradigm shift and I'm like, wow, do you remember when you didn't claim and now you've got the six figure business and it's blowing up on you.

[Rachel Yucatel]

I had to do it.

[Dana Grant]

She took the steps. She took. She did the work. And that means she changed her language.

[Rachel Yucatel]

One foot in front of the other. And even those little steps, you say, oh, I can do this, I might not.

[Dana Grant]

Micro, not macro. Yeah, Rachel, micro, not macro. You don't do the quantum leaping. Everybody wants the quantum field. Everyone wants the abundance. But it starts with how we speak to ourselves. Just set your timer every three hours and drop into what your most dominant thought is. Are you attaching your life to a lot of gratitude? We're once again vibrating at a very high level. Nothing's higher than gratitude. So are you grateful about. I don't care if it's ten dollars in your bank account or ten thousand or a hundred thousand or a million. Are you grateful that your bills are being paid? Are you grateful for that time? That's what will expand. But if you, if you are in the slack and scarcity. Oh, no. Oh, no. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? You're Back in the cycle, I call it the spin. And you go into the maze and that's where you, you go to the old stories because our body's storing them. And you pull out the file and you, you, you send a note down and you get the information back and you're like, oh, I've done this before. I'm going to do it a better. I'm going to do it better than that, that, that I did last time. But it's still the same outcome. So if you want a different outcome, you're going to have to. You've got to stretch, you've got to get uncomfortable. And that's on this side of the terror barrier. On this side, everything is the stories. In fact, you probably already know this statistically that 95% of our subconscious is running the show. 95%. We're integrating. Every day I make sure that I'm integrating newness. And it's just newness. That's what people are really afraid of. Your subconscious is saying, and your ego saying, I don't know that over there. Let me protect you. And at some point in your life, you may have needed that protection. God knows, at some point in my life, I needed that protection against an unhealthy parent. I needed it, but now I don't need it. But the story's still playing out and I'm still showing up with the armor. In fact, Brene Brown said something brilliant recently. She said it's not, you know, it's not the fear that stops us. It's the armor that we keep picking back up and putting back on.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Wow. Yeah. When you were talking earlier, I got chills. It really hit home and made a lot of sense. You were talking about vibration, and you were talking about high vibration, and then shame is low vibration, and then there's something neutral in the middle. So are you saying we always want to be at that highest level of vibration? Or is neutrality okay? And is that calm?

Like, where.

Where are we always supposed to be?

[Dana Grant]

Well, grief is low too, you know, but it doesn't mean that we don't go there. We're required to grieve over things. In fact, we should. I call it, you know, the, the invisible workload of even women. I'm sure men have it too, but in women. And we grieve a lot. We grieve through menopause, we grieve through our youth. We grieve through these expectations we have of ourselves. So we have to learn to hold space for both grief and joy. Joy is a high Vibrational energy. We can't be in joyful bliss all the time. But there's no spiritual bypassing. Rachel, we have to go there. This time of year. We're coming out of the year. The snake. I'm saying shed, shed, shed. Let go. Like a snake. Let go of what did not work for you this year. Which means we've always got to upgrade, better language, and say, what do I need to know now? I don't. I don't get frightened about what's coming. Anything. I just say, the universe is always working for me, not against me. What. What do I need to know? So I ask better questions. And every day in the mirror, you ask what people could do. Wake up in the morning and say, what do you need for me today? What do you need from me today? And I get answers like, boom. Okay, Whether it's rest, slow down, gear up, whatever it is, I'm listening. And then we have to take action. You know, where are people? Where are they? Falling off the wagon. You got to hit your wagon to it. You know, put a stake in it, hit your wagon, and giddy up. And this is the year of the horse. We're. We're going into. Yeah, it's like giddy up time. Claim it. Yeah. Write out what you want. Bruce Liston said, if you can't write out what you want, you're not going to get it. And it's the truth.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Okay.

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[Dana Grant]

Well, let's go back to the medicine. I had to sacrifice 20,000 milligrams of demerol a month. I didn't. I didn't think I was addicted. That's enough to kill an elephant, by the way, for anyone that's listening. I should have died. I shouldn't have survived it. But, you know, I taught. My body's tolerated that. And I was being called a drug. I mean, I was terrified. If I look back on that phase, I was terrified of life. I was terrified. You know, I think that if we look at the core wound, my core wound was safety. I didn't feel safe anywhere. So I showed up, up with external validation. I needed external safety. For me, that was my husband, you know, I. He was my rock. He was my safety. I didn't even know I was abandoning myself. I didn't even know that safety lives in here, that this is the person I do now. I create that, and I help other people create that. But it wasn't until that big, shattering, you know, he lost his medical license. He went through a sexual assault salt trial. It was big. Think, oh, yeah, it was big. I'm sitting here doing this, and I get a message that, you know, local practitioner, you know, sexual assault charges. And I'm like, oh, no, no.

[Rachel Yucatel]

How did you survive through that?

[Dana Grant]

Well, I would sit and I would teach, and you're never going to call in anything beyond where you are. And I did that. And then I would crawl out of my chair and lay on my floor and fall apart. I mean, I'm. I. I absolutely took a baseball bat to my house.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Every.

[Dana Grant]

Everything I. I went crazy because that I. My whole world shattered. And then I had three daughters that I had to explain it to that had already their college age. They're gone. But it's still, you know, this is. This is our Rock. This is our stability. I didn't know how to find stability in here. I was learning how, but that was the big shattering. So I think we call all of that in to have this learned version. You know, it's. This is the learning curve. And what I realize now that I'm in my 60s, is we are never done. We have never. We're never gonna arrive. We're always in this mode of expansion. We gotta choose it, you know, and you said the universal law of sacrifice. I had to sacrifice the versions of me that were terrified. I had to sacrifice the versions of me that didn't think they could do it, that didn't think they were smart enough and start claiming and being willing to be uncomfortable.

[Rachel Yucatel]

So if you're trying to unpack the law of sacrifice for people that are listening, are we taking away, trying to get rid of things that are holding us back, or how do you define it to people?

[Dana Grant]

Well, well, I, you know, I look at it as like a view master. You know, you have a lens over your life. Is it helping you get what you want? You know, I have someone right now who wants to get married and wants to have babies, but she's marrying someone who isn't divorced and has a vasectomy. I'm like, is that going to get you what you want? Well, no, but she's back in her comfort zone, you know, so what you.

[Rachel Yucatel]

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[Rachel Yucatel]

Want to sacrifice accepting what is in front of you?

[Dana Grant]

Yeah, accepting what's in front of me because it's going to fix it. Now you know, is it the long term pain you're avoiding or the short term? You've got to make a choice. And your greatest power in this life is the right to choose. And that only happens in the present moment. The past choice is already done. We can learn from them or we can stay spinning them and keep trying to get a different outcome. And then the future will unfold if we do the work in the here and the now. Got it. The cause and effect. You got to choose you and you got to see where am I abandoning myself if I choose someone else for safety. And we got to step back and really assess this lens and say, oh wow, I thought that was my safety. I didn't even know. And I had no cognitive like I'm choosing you over me. I never thought that. I just thought this is the way it is because that's the way it always was. I came into this world with that, that. But I chose to heal. And when you, when you're on that train, you just don't get off.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah. One that I love is the law of forgiveness. Can you unpack that for us? Because I feel like a lot of people struggle with forgiveness.

[Dana Grant]

I think a lot of people struggle with self forgiveness. I think that forgiveness and shame go hand in hand, you know, the shadow versions of us. There are things in my life if I do not, I cannot be radically accountable. I couldn't have written a book. I couldn't get up on stage. I could not talk about my life like I do if I didn't forgive the versions of me that got me here. We start with self, self forgiveness. You know, I go through whatever age that shows up and man, we know what age is showing up. If I'm raging and yelling, there's my Teenager showing up and where is she hurting? Where do I need to go in there and say, you know, you did your very best, I love you, I forgive you. Thank you for getting me here. Gratitude, thank you for getting me here. I wouldn't be here without all these messy versions of me. I don't go back and say, stay in the shadow, work shame, don't ever show your face. You gained weight, you, you lost your mind, you took drugs. All these versions got me here today. So I not only forgive them, I'm so grateful for them, I'm gonna up the ante, grateful for them for getting me here. Because I could have died a million times.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Out of all the universal laws, which one is the most important, do you think?

[Dana Grant]

Universal law of energy. Everything is energy. Money is energy. Everything is energy. Money follows authority. Money is just an energy. Every story that you've created in your life is just that. Ask your is it true or is that a lie? Money doesn't grow on trees. Well, that's a lie. I like to plug in the word energy instead of money. I can't afford any more of that energy. Well, wait a minute, I can't afford what? What? I've got plenty of energy. I don't have plenty of money. Well, you do have plenty. If money is just energy, you do have plenty. The universe is as abundant as it's ever going to be. Everything is available to you right now. Everything you need is here in the here and the now. You just have to put a claim on it, stake it, write it out. You're not going to get anything. Like I said earlier, you're not going to get it unless you can visualize it and you can feel it. You just have to take the step back and stop the dialogue that you're creating your most dominant thought. What's your most dominant thought? Thought? Mine was, don't you dare open your mouth. You're not smart enough. You didn't get that law degree. I don't know how you got where you got. This was a self sabotage pattern. I would, I would hit the tops and I would break records everywhere and I'd say, who do you think you are? I didn't say that out loud. I just self sabotaged. And then I work my way all the way back and set records that have never been broken still. And then I bottom out again. And then I'd work really, really hard. That was my cycle most of my life.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Right, right. You talked earlier about alignment and people use that word really loosely. How do you Define alignment.

[Dana Grant]

Ah, alignment is. It's from Source. If I'm aligned, that means I've stepped out of the way. My ego is in check. We don't want to kill the ego. We just want to calm it down. It means that I'm aligned to Source, whether it's Source, Universe, God. It means that I am listening to my intuition. You don't have to be born a psychic to listen to your intuition. But we second guess. If we are not in alignment, we are second guessing and we might be looking for external validation. Women will know this is external. Hey, does this outfit look good on me? Do I look skinny enough? Is this the right color? We ask. We want that validation. What would it be like just to show up and say, and just check it at the door and just do your very best. You chose it. Can you own it? If you chose it, can you own it and just work through that and just maybe next time say, oh, well, you know what? I didn't like that as much, but you owned it. I think alignment is about ownership. Owning what we feel.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah.

[Dana Grant]

And we connect it to Source and we get out of the way with the overthinking.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah. Yeah. You've led retreats across Europe and coached clients. It sounds like globally, what are the most common lies that you see that people are living every day?

[Dana Grant]

Oh, I think that they believe that their secrets. Secrets will kill you. They believe their secrets are bigger than anyone else's. If they showed who they were, they wouldn't be enough. They would, they would lose. Nobody would, Nobody would be interested in. If they. And I, I see this over and over again, they're not worthy. If, if someone knew who they were, deal over and it's just a deal breaker. And it's. I think it's through that vulnerability that we find alignment and we peel back and we share our stories to help others. Because this is a service industry. We are not out here. You're out here helping people with stories and peeling the layers back. This is what you do.

[Rachel Yucatel]

You know, it's so interesting. I was speaking at a keynote somewhere with a group of, I don't know, maybe there was a hundred people and it was very sort of interactive and I was in the front. And of course I'm already feeling a little nervous about telling my story in front of everyone. And beforehand we had all had cocktails and you're looking around the room and you make up stories in your head about who these people are and they're intimidating and they're this and they're that there was a point after I spoke and I'm still up on the stage and I had someone with me who was asking some questions now, emceeing, and people started to raise their hand and talk to me and ask questions. And we were talking about feeling like a discount version of yourself. Right. And feeling how you might feel ashamed or something that's in the back of your head that no one else knows. And I can't tell you how many people finally stood up, shared a story. This one guy who I was like, this guy has the whole world at his fingertips, got up and was in tears about the fact that he was dyslexic. And he just felt stupid. Anytime he walked into a room, it was in the back of his head and he like couldn't function. And I was like, what? Like, how is that even a thing for him? And it was so interesting that once he was vulnerable, once everyone in the room was vulnerable like that, it brought the whole room that much closer.

[Dana Grant]

And he gave himself permission, he gave himself permission to share what he was frightened of.

[Rachel Yucatel]

And it wasn't as he sat down, he realized and he said, you know, it's not as scary now, like, you know my big secret, you know, this big thing that I feel so insecure about and now I'm not insecure about it actually, especially in front of you guys. So I just thought it was. It's so brilliant to realize that once you are vulnerable, like that's what connects us and that's like that lie in your head. Everyone has a lie, everyone is telling themselves something negative. And we're all the same in that way. So I think that's interesting that you brought that up.

[Dana Grant]

Yeah. And it's not even. Most of the negativity hasn't even come from us. It's what, what we perceived a teacher said or a parent said. It doesn't take much to create a story, a one liner and make it mean something. And again, I'm going to go back that what do you make that mean about you? You know, I had someone and when I was 15, I had big hips, but I was really not overweight at all. But she said I look like a cow in these brown polyester pants. It was like the early 80s and had, and I thought she was really petite. And I turned to the side and I was like this thin. But man, when my hormones hit, I was just like, it was a beautiful figure, but I didn't see that I wanted to have my hips broken in my 20s, 30s, 40s. I you know, I had an eating disorder most of my life. I wouldn't eat at all. I did that attribute to, did that one line attribute to the migraines. Maybe that was the accumulation. But that stuck until I went back and I loved those versions. And, you know, love and compassion, I think, are the answer to everything. But if we can't have love and compassion for those versions of us that did their very best and we shut them down and we go back there and shame them and starve them and beat them and tell them, you're not good enough, would we ever show up? And you know, who says, would you? I would never show up and say, hey, Rachel, you're just not good enough. You know, you, you know, you need to do it this way. And you know, by the way, that we would never do that. We would show up with this love and compassion and support because we don't view you that way, but we view ourselves that way. And I just, I think we need to be the very best friends that we can because there's no more, there's no greater intimate relationship you're gonna have with anybody than yourself.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah.

[Dana Grant]

And so be loving, be kind, be generous, you know, and I think that can flip your life around.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah, I agree. You talk about masculine and feminine energy balance in the book, and I'm really curious to hear you expand on that a little bit.

[Dana Grant]

Well, the left hand side of our body is our feminine side and the right hand side is our masculine side, our life force energy side. But if our feminine energy is blocked, I don't care whether you're male or female, this our, we all have it. If our feminine side is not working correctly, it's our receiving side and we need to be able to receive everything. This is an abundant universe. If you've got your receiving side shut down and maybe you're an overworker, I can do it myself. It kind of looks like that it shows up in the world. No one can do it quite as fast and as good as I count out of my way. You've shut down your receiving. So, you know, I like to look at people's bodies and I ask questions. Where are their most injuries? You know, is it the left hand side of the body? Well, and they'll say, it's interesting, I've broken just about everything on my right hand side, but not on my left left. You know, it just, there's signs everywhere showing you. And when you start asking for them, you know, and you start asking, upgrading your language and asking better questions, you know, not telling yourself this narrative. That's not moving the needle forward at all. Not giving you the life you want, you know, and you. If you're stuck, if you feel stuck, people are never stuck. Your mindset might be stuck in a situation where it's. The ego has taken over and it's just contracting because. And this is how you know, Rachel, that you're doing it. You're dividing, separating, judging. That's ego energy.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah.

[Dana Grant]

And. And over here, you've got the heart energy. It's expansive. It doesn't even know what the ego's doing because it doesn't judge anything. It just keeps saying, hey, what would that look like if we did this? And so back to the feminine. You got to be able to receive. And then over here in your mask and you got to be able to do. And that means you can't just sit here and kumbaya manifest. You've got to show up and you got to put a stake in it and say, the universe. You got to put a demand on the universe. I want this. And then we start the task. The day to day is my day to day actions. Creating the life that I want.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah.

[Dana Grant]

And a lot of times people will say, I don't have the money to do that. Nope, nope. Wrong, wrong. Your higher self. You look at her. How did she get there? And then you make a list. Well, she would do it this way. So I remember when I used to. I started buying first class tickets years ago. It was like I told my assistant, I can't afford to. That she was, I already purchased it. She said, you said you wanted to. To stretch. And she was, I'm. I'm doing it for you because you just keep making excuses why you don't do it now. I never went back. I just never went back. But see, my life just matched it. You know, we have to make the moves and the decisions. And then we put a demand on the universe and it says, hey, looks like Dana's going to fly first class now. She needs to make more money. I don't wait to make more money. And we have to be realistic, but the. It will match us there. And it works every single time. Unless we're truly thinking and we're terrified with this lack and scarcity.

[Rachel Yucatel]

I want to get into that for a second. We had a guest on the show like a year ago who talked about that and she talked about how she went in and bought a G wagon or whatever. And it was like three, you know, a souped up version. It was like $300,000. She's like, well, I couldn't afford it. But, like, you got to show up with a certain look to hang with these people, to be that person to tell you to manifest, this is what I deserve. And as she's talking, I'm thinking, if she couldn't afford it, like, what if she had to eat ramen for two years just so she could afford this truck? Like, that doesn't seem smart. So walk me through how that works.

[Dana Grant]

Well, the true manifesting process, if you truly are vibrating. And so this. I got my own story there. Five years ago, I. On December 31st, which was my dad's birthday, signs just come in everywhere. With guidance. I drive to the Range Rover dealership and I buy a new Defender. And I love it. I put row free on my license plate. I drive it home, brand new. But my story was. And we talked a little bit about my grandmother in Calistoga, because you live and, you know, here she was a huge real estate mogul, you know, in California. And it just. She said, you buy real estate, you do not invest in new cars. So my story was, you never, ever buy a new car. So I would buy cars with 30,000 miles. I wanted a new car. Now, if I looked at my bank account, I don't know what I had in there. 350,000. I'm not sure. Sure. Should have been investing. Should have been. So this should have came in. Should have, could have. I should be doing this. I should buy some property. What am I doing not owning property? I didn't want to own property in California. I was going through getting rid of things. I didn't. But I wanted that car. The minute I made the decision to buy that car, everything flipped. I mean, I made a half a million like that because I gave myself permission to buy it. I wanted it. I could afford it. It wasn't as if, but I could. The stories would have told me, you can't afford it, afford that. Because the story was, you never buy a new car. You even if you have everything you want, right? But her stories didn't work for me anymore. She also would say, money doesn't grow on trees. And, well, it actually does. And it is. It does grow on trees. And, you know, so all those stories, we accumulate those, and we take our stories and we apply it to our future, where all your power is right here. So if I'm going to set that up, I better be ready to, like, rock and roll, you know, which means that I'm going to claim that I don't go back into lack and scarcity. Why did I do this? Oh my God, I can't afford this. Nope, you're right. In the old mindset, it's I'm abundant and, and the universe is going to show up and match my vibrational energy. So it gets a little tricky there, but you've got some steps you've got to do, right?

[Rachel Yucatel]

And it's also like fake it a little bit till you make it. Like if you want to be in real estate or whatever it is. And you cannot be driving around in your beat up Honda. No one's going to buy a house from you. So you show up in your Range Rover, you put on your nice outfit. You can't drive around in a Range Rover in your pajamas all day.

[Dana Grant]

Like, yeah, yeah, you got to believe it. Yeah, you gotta show up and you gotta work it. You can't just drive it in your driveway and sit there and spin and say, oh my God, why did I do that? And then they come and you're like, oh my God, it got repoed. Well, yeah. Cause you sat there and you panicked. Your vibration was like this, oh no, oh no, oh no. Fear based, we gotta make it. Abundance doesn't come from fear based decisions. But you know, making new decisions can be frightening, but it's only the newness of it we have to identify. You know, we gotta be detectives in our own life. What am I really frightened of? Am I frightened of? Oh, wait a minute, I know. I'm really frightened about the old stories coming. We got to just, you know, and I think that we can be. We can be if we give ourselves permission, you know, to look at our life and see what have I done that I love this year? Let's break it down. What have I done that I love this year? Where's been the most joyful moments? I walked the Camino. It was freaking joyful. I didn't even care how much I spent. It was just, it was like the best six weeks ever. Then I met my daughter in Spain and then went to Mallorca and floated around the sea. It was magical. I don't think about the money I spent, spent, how much I put on credit cards. Because I live in an abundant universe. Everything's available to me. I will attract if I stay in that mindset. Not reckless, but I stay in that mindset of a building. But we have to drop in and enjoy and be joyful about our life. We can't always be in work mode. It doesn't work.

[Rachel Yucatel]

And did you say that this all happened. That date was December 31st.

[Dana Grant]

Yeah.

[Rachel Yucatel]

That's the night I'm getting married this year. Just thought I would throw that out to you.

[Dana Grant]

How funny is that? And did I say, well, there are no coincidences. There just aren't any coincidences? Yeah, that was my dad's. My. My dad's birthday. And it's. It's a big, you know, it's a big manifesting day. It's the end of the year. You're going into a new year. But I. I had guidance there. So I love the fact you're getting married on that.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Dana Grant]

And, you know, and I'll up the ante on December 31st. This year. I am flying to host my daughter's baby shower. I'm leaving on December 31. She is in Florida.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Amazing. Congratulations. That is very exciting.

[Dana Grant]

It's a first.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Yeah. All right, just a couple more questions. You said your mission is to ignite the soul potential in everyone you meet. What's the biggest spark you hope that this book ignites in people?

[Dana Grant]

That everyone realizes they deserve to deeply heal and love themselves, that abundance is available to them, that they can start challenging the stories. And they don't have to make people wrong. I just want them to take ownership. And I believe that everyone has genius in them. Everyone I meet, I look at them and my first question is, where's your genius? I can see you're a genius. I see it. And, you know, and people think, oh, you've got an edge on everyone because you're a psychic. Well, I hated that most of my life. In fact, anything I would say, you're such a freak. Don't open your mouth. Don't open your mouth. You're such a freak. That went on for years. And then I was told, like, I couldn't. Couldn't believe in God and do that. So I was in such conflict. Give yourself permission to step out of conflict. Conflict. Give yourself permission to love yourself. You know, it doesn't have to be complicated. There is an easy way and a hard way. We do it the hard. I know the hard way. But oftentimes people won't choose the easy way because they're not familiar with it. And they think, oh, I mean, how many times have we heard this? You know, Betty Crocker came out with a cake mix. I don't know, 40s, 50s, 30s, before our time. And it was just add water. And it was a delicious cake, but it didn't sell. It flopped. And they came back to the drawing table, they said, what do we do wrong? Too easy. People like it hard. They added, add three eggs, a fourth a cup of oil and a fourth, a cup of water. Boom. Bestseller ever since. Never ever off. I mean off the cuff. It still sells. Number one. We had to make it a little harder. Doesn't need that. But we like to feel like we're doing something people do not like to be still this time of year. I am being still. I am paying attention to what comes in up. What, where am I at? What's my body serving up right now? Where, where were my wins? Where were my struggles? I'm assessing. We have to be a master assessor of our own life. I love that. Not judger, but assessor, and say this and then write out this work for me. This is what I want. And then how am I going to get that? We don't have to know how. Like I say, married to the process. Divorce the outcome. We always think this is where people get hung up. They try to figure out, out, well, what is that going to look like if I do that? No trust. Trust in the universe. I've got the sign behind me, trust the process. In fact, that's what my book was going to be called, Trust the process for three years. And then it kind of morphed into the truth within the lie. Because I realized we lie to ourselves in order to stay safe. And the truth is safety lives within us, not externally. We're never going to find it out there. Right, Right.

[Rachel Yucatel]

It's like a matrix for people listening. What are three really quick takeaways they can can have right now to start finding their truth and getting out of the lie?

[Dana Grant]

Set a timer on your phone right now. I'm, I'm just intuitively going with this. I had nothing planned. Set a timer on your phone right now for an hour. And when that goes off, ask yourself, what's my most dominant thought? You. You know, the subconscious is playing out and you don't even realize it's running your day. I want them to be a little more aware of what they're doing and are they doing it subconscious? They're going to say, oh, I didn't even know I was thinking of about that. But you know, that's probably running about it's running your program of the day. People want a different life, but they don't know how to do it. And it's about challenging those stories. Do I even believe that's true? No. I don't even know where that came from. And challenge that. And then do one thing, you know, If I'm right, if I'm flying a plane and I'm off by one degree, I'm 360 miles off my trajectory, which means I'm not landing in Hawaii. I'm in the middle of the ocean. One degree. Do one. One thing, One thing that you can do today. And people say, I don't know what to do. One small task does not have to be macro, macro, just micro. One small thing you can do today. And then apply some gratitude. Be grateful for the versions of you that got you here. Look at your life and. And don't shame yourself and say you're not enough or look at the way I'm living and. And stop comparing yourself to others. Stay in your own lane and be, really assess your life and look at all the good things you've got done and be really grateful that you. You're. That you're here.

[Rachel Yucatel]

I love it. Finish this sentence. The truth within the lie is.

[Dana Grant]

The truth within the lie is the stories that we've created to protect ourselves. Love it.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Tell people where they can come hear you speak. Get your book. All the things. Do you do one on ones with people?

[Dana Grant]

I do. I still do because I'm really aligned with that. You know, it's. I'm not giving it up for, for next year. I have a mastermind, the Abundance Architect. Coming out the first part of the year. I don't know where I'm speaking in a lot of places I'd have to look at that. But they could just come to. I like to hang out on Instagram. They can come find me on Instagram. The real Dana Grant. People always ask me, do you. Do you coach housewives? And I'm like, I do, but I do. But I came up with the real Dana Grant. Prior to that, it was because I got hijacked and some. Somebody put Dana got so they can find me there. That's where I hang out. But any platform and it's Dana Grant.com disconnect. I always answer my messages. If something intrigued them or they want to know more, I'm happy to answer.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Amazing. And the Truth within the Lie is available where?

[Dana Grant]

On Amazon. It's available everywhere. Bookstores. It's hitting bookstores in January, so yeah, on Amazon right now. And then the audio will be. Will be out in about four weeks. Thanks.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Amazing. This has been very insightful and inspirational. I wish you the best of luck with your book. It was such a pleasure to meet you.

[Dana Grant]

Oh, Rachel, thank you.

[Rachel Yucatel]

Thank you so much for listening to Misunderstood. I'm your host Rachel Ukatel.

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