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- [00:00]
Marc Maron
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- [00:34]
Maya and Sim
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- [01:21]
Unnamed Speaker
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- [01:23]
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- [02:36]
This is Paige, the co host of Giggly Squad. I use Uber Eats for everything and I feel like people forget that you can truly order anything, especially living in New York City. It's why I love it. You can get Chinese food at any time of night, but it's not just for food. I order from CVS all the time. I'm always ordering from the grocery store and a friend stops over. I have to order champagne. I also have this thing that whenever I travel, if I'm ever in a hotel room, I never feel like I'm missing something because I'll just Uber Eats it. The amount of times I've had to Uber eats hair items like hairspray, deodorant, you name it, I've ordered it. On Uber Eats. You can get grocery alcohol everyday essentials in addition to restaurants and food you love. So in other words, get almost every anything with Uber Eats. Order now for alcohol. You must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details.
- [03:40]
Fionnuala
For over two decades, Niam's family has done everything they could to keep searching for her. While they never give up hope, they've had to learn to live with the loss, or as Fionnuala says, to move forward with it. They talk about Niamh and keep her memory alive. When Fionnuala spoke with Niamh's friend Lisa, who was in Batlow with her just before she went missing, both women discovered they still dream of Niamh. In her dreams, Lisa sees Niamh. She's there, but she's silent.
- [04:15]
Unnamed Speaker
My dreams are really annoying because she'll never talk to me in them. Do you have that dream too? She's always there and if I talk to her or ask her a question, she just. She'll look at me. She just looks at me. And I. I think there's times where I get really angry at her because I, like, want her to speak to me. And then there's other times where I don't feel that, but she never talks to me, but she's present.
- [04:50]
Fionnuala
Fionnuala has similar dreams of her sister.
- [04:54]
Unnamed Speaker
Yeah, that's so freaky that you said that. So I haven't had it recently, but I, yeah, have a recurring dream that sometimes we're in different places, but it's exactly the same. She just doesn't talk. She's there. She's just Naemi, you know, aged 18. And I'll be like, where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried we've been? Like, seriously, Mum and Dad are beside themselves. Like, she just doesn't talk, doesn't answer.
- [05:25]
Yeah, that sounds exactly the same. Like different locations. I might hear her like. Like laugh or make sounds, and I might even see that she's maybe interacting with other people, but I can't hear it. And then when I happen to have an interaction with her, if I happen to in the dream. Cause sometimes I can't. She won't talk to me. She won't. She's silenced.
- [05:56]
Fionnuala
Fionnuala spoke to Brodie, who was also with Niamh, on her fruit picking adventure to Batlow. While these friends of Niamh's have all grown older, Brody, Niam herself seems frozen at 18.
- [06:09]
Unnamed Speaker
I want to say that Niam was special and she had a lot to offer and it's really, really unfortunate that something like this happened. It's just really unfair and it couldn't have happened to a better person, really. And whatever happened, or, you know, or whoever stole her opportunities away from her, it's. It's just. It's just a shame.
- [06:38]
That's.
- [06:38]
Yeah. And I miss her. Me too.
- [06:45]
Fionnuala
For Niamh's young and carefree friends, her loss was the event that made them all grow up. For the country kids from Armidale, it all came to a halt when Niamh was lost.
- [06:59]
Unnamed Speaker
I think that event has actually really shaped all of us in so many ways. It was quite a shocking, terrible thing to happen. And I certainly know that she's quite present in my life in the sense that the memories, what happened to her, it. Yeah, it's really. She's still with us because she was such a significant person in our lives. And what happened to her, in a sense, is a cautionary tale that no one. You know, we, of course, wish that she was still here and with us, but perhaps it led all of us to make better choices going forward from there. And I think now we live in a world where we are more wary generally. I think that what happened would not necessarily happen now. Not that it couldn't, but it's just that we were living in a time where there was no mobile phones, where there was less stranger danger, all that kind of stuff. And. And, yeah, and we were young, we were 18 and being silly.
- [08:23]
Yep.
- [08:23]
Yeah, I agree.
- [08:25]
I just don't think it would have happened now.
- [08:27]
I don't think so either if you all had smartphones. I know.
- [08:30]
And social media and all the perils that come with that. But I actually think.
- [08:35]
Yeah, I agree.
- [08:38]
Fionnuala
When Lisa and Fionnuala spoke, it was in Niamh's childhood home in Armidale. Being there brought back memories and I think it's.
- [08:47]
Unnamed Speaker
It's funny, you kind of keep moving through your life and then there's these times where you revisit it. And I'm glad I could come here. Cause this place, like, I spent a lot of time here and have not been here for ages, but it's still. The table's still in the same spot, Everything's still the same. And so I feel like this was the right place to come and talk about Niam. And, yeah, I would have loved to have shared more life with her, but I'm grateful for the time I got. We had a lot of really fun times together and, like, we went diving a lot and, you know, we went camping and the number of times we, like, put the. All the lights on in this lounge room and did dancing to bad 80s music. And, you know, when she was, like, working at the pizza shop and we'd get pizza and we'd just being silly rat bags, but, you know, we were having lots of fun. We'd dress up and do silly things and it was, yeah, we had lots of good times. So, yeah, I just try to hold onto the good memories.
- [10:05]
Fionnuala
While Niamh's loss hit everyone hard, we can only imagine what it has been like for her parents, Anne and Brian. They always look so stoic and brave in media appearances. Anne says they've coped, but it has never been easy.
- [10:21]
Unnamed Speaker
And so I had to sort of deal with that and know that that was underneath all that was going on and then help try and help the kids cope. But I think they've done excellently. And partly because we all talk to each other as much as we can and get help, and because they've all been fortunate enough to have very supportive friends from school and so on. So I think that's how we've managed to cope with the emotional side of it all. But it's still with you forever. None of us, I think, like to use the term closure, because it's totally meaningless. You don't have closure. Nothing stops it, nothing makes it go away. It's part of your life and you cope with it and you live with it. And we've always focused on celebrating the inspiration we have from Niamh. And they're all. All of our children are inspirations to us. The things they do, they are just wonderful. So we think we're just so fortunate. They're all adventurous, they stand up for what's right, they kneecap people who aren't doing the right thing, politely, of course, anyway. So I think we've coped on the whole Very well with the emotional side of it all. But it's never easy and it's never going to be easy.
- [11:57]
Fionnuala
For Brian, staying positive did not stop the depression he suffered, but did help him find a way forward. He is open about seeking help to manage it.
- [12:08]
Brian
I have suffered from depression since that time. About six months after that time, I found that I needed to actually have some medical help with depression. And that in a sense, has helped a lot. A friend who's a well qualified psychologist said me at one stage that one of the features of depression is that you have a strong sense of responsibility. In other words, you are the person who has to do something about it. Now that actually puts more pressure on yourself. So the way around that is to be positive and look ahead and plan to see how you can help to deal with the situation or to solve the problem. So, and even now, having something to plan ahead to, I find is a purposeful way of viewing life.
- [13:01]
Fionnuala
Brian is thankful for all of the people who have offered to help over the years.
- [13:07]
Brian
So we've had people like that all the time who've come forward and, and made suggestions if they can or offered help where they can. It's heartening, even if it doesn't solve the problem. But it's better than not getting any help, I guess. You know, you need something to keep you motivated to keep going. And the unanswered question is the main motivation. But the encouragement is given by the people who've tried to help in whatever way they can.
- [13:36]
Fionnuala
For Ann, her focus was on the rest of the family having to deal.
- [13:41]
Unnamed Speaker
With the emotional side. For I wasn't so concerned about my welfare because I was more focused on the rest of the family and helping them deal with it all because I thought, I think what's helped me is my faith. And I have a photograph, a calligraphy thing up there of a quote from Khalil Gibran, the Lebanese poet, about your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of, you know, the whole globe in a sense. And so I've been able to focus on the positive. When you give birth to a child, any child, you don't know what package you're getting and you don't know for how long you have that package. So you have to face up to that from the very beginning. So it's something that you celebrate every day, all of your life and all of their lives. But you also know that things happen and that you aren't the only person on the planet who has things like this happen.
- [14:52]
Fionnuala
It is worth reciting the poem that has brought Ann so much comfort. It's called On Children by Kahlil Gibran. Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies, but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows, are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with his might, that his arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness. For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.
- [16:11]
Unnamed Speaker
If you feel a bit as if you're wallowing in self pity, all you have to do is have a look around you and see that there are people who are far worse off. So you know, you keep positive. I'm a positive person, and one of the things I'm always inspired by is candles. And there's an ancient saying in multiple cultures across the globe, there's no darkness dark enough to put out the light of one small candle. So I'll light a candle every day for Niamh and for us and for everybody out there.
- [16:50]
Fionnuala
While her loss is as real to her family now as it was when she went missing back in 2002, the family is well aware that Niamh's disappearance is outside the living memory of anyone under the age of about 25. Older people from the area will remember her, but with this podcast, any young bushwalkers, campers, hunters, SES volunteers or forest rangers who work in the area can be on the lookout for Niamh's remains or her belongings. Her backpack, clothes, camping equipment, Discman CDs, photography gear. For a full list of Neem's property, including serial numbers, please visit our website@MissingNiam.com that's missing Niamh.com Imagine if you were working, camping or bushwalking in the area and came across a bunch of old CDs buried in the bush. Fionnuala talks with Steve Rose about getting the case back into the public awareness again.
- [17:59]
Unnamed Speaker
That's why I keep saying 18 years ago, a 26 year old person was 6 or 7 years of age, you know, and so they wouldn't have known anything about me and May going missing, really. But those 25 year olds now are operating machinery, working in forestry, cutting down trees, doing all sorts of things, you know, so it's time to get the interest back up again, just in case. People that were 50 years of age are probably retired now, so they're the ones that have all the knowledge because they live through the that period of time. Personally, I just think if anybody knows anything relative to Niamh's disappearance, please tell the police, allow the family some closure. And if you are currently working in the timber industry or forestry industry in the areas of between Tumut and Tumbarumba, please be vigilant and keep an eye out for any unusual clothing or perhaps even human remains at this stage and report what you see.
- [19:11]
Fionnuala
Now, here's where we need your help. If you or anyone you know was in Jingelic or in Batlow at the time and remembers Niamh, Jack or Garth or remembers seeing the hearse, please come forward and talk to us. You could hold a missing piece of the puzzle. It is vital to remember that you may not realise what you saw was important, but please come forward anyway. We have already located several people who told us before their interview started that they didn't know anything, but then gave us really useful information. Everything we find out adds another piece to the puzzle. If we find enough pieces, we may find Niamh. Some people might not come forward because they don't think what they know is relevant or assume what they know is already known by police. This may not be the case, so we urge you to get in touch anyway. Each piece of information, no matter how small, can help other friends and acquaintances of Niamh who were at Batlow Caravan Park. You may have important information. Did you know Jack Nicklason from the fruit picking scene? Even if it wasn't in Batlow, pickers and backpackers from all over the world were in Batloe and Jingelic on the Easter long weekend of 2002. Are you one of the people we've heard about who might have been with Jack and Garth? You can reach us@MissingNiam Au. That's MissingNiam Au. The name Niamh or Neeve in the traditional pronunciation comes from an ancient Irish story about a young warrior named Doisin who fell in love with a beautiful princess called Neeve. Together they left his world for the fairy world of Tir Na Nog, where time stood still. When Oisin missed his family and begged to visit home, Naeve warned him not to alight from his horse. When he ignored the warning and set foot upon the earth, he became ancient because 300 years had passed in his old world. Legend had it that the beautiful princess Neeve still roamed the countryside on her white horse, searching for her husband. The May property in Armidale was named Tir Na Nog to Wanna Naim Forever Young. Just like the story, they made a sign with the name for their front gate.
- [21:54]
Unnamed Speaker
It's one of those legends where the beautiful Niamh went off with Oisin to the land of Tirnanong, which is the land of everlasting youth. So I just thought that's fairly appropriate. I suggested that we put that there as the name for the property here because, you know, a lot of people have names that have some significance for them in some way. And I thought, well, that's for all of us. So this is us. We're all forever useful.
- [22:36]
Fionnuala
Foreign.
- [22:42]
Unnamed Speaker
This is Paige, the co host of Giggly Squad. I use Uber Eats for everything and I feel like people forget that you can truly order anything, especially living in New York City. It's why I love it. You can get Chinese food at any time of night, but it's not just for food. I order from CVS all the time. I'm always ordering from the grocery store. If a friend stops over, I have to order champagne. I also have this thing that whenever I travel, if I'm ever in a hotel room, I never feel like I'm missing something because I'll just Uber eats it. The amount of times I've had to Uber eats hair items like hairspray, deodorant, you name it, I've ordered it. On Ubereats. You can get grocery alcohol everyday essentials in addition to restaurants and food you love. So in other words, get Almost anything with UberEats. Order now for alcohol. You must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details.
- [23:42]
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.