Modern Love Podcast Summary

Episode: "Jessie Buckley Became a Mother for ‘Hamnet.’ Then She Became One for Real."

Host: Anna Martin | Guest: Jessie Buckley
Date: December 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this enlightening and intimate episode, Anna Martin sits down with acclaimed actress Jessie Buckley, whose recent role as Agnes Shakespeare in the film Hamnet dovetailed with her own journey into motherhood. They explore how embodying a mother on screen impacted Buckley’s understanding of tenderness, wildness, and transformation, and how these themes resonate in her own life. The episode also includes Buckley’s stirring reading of the Modern Love essay "The Wrong Kind of Inheritance" and heartfelt reflections on generational bonds between mothers and daughters.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Becoming Both a Mother On Screen and in Life

• Jessie Buckley's Transformation:
  Buckley reflects on the seismic shift of new motherhood, describing it as a rebirth not just for her child but for herself:

  "Everything's new, you know, this little human's new, you're new, your relationship's new. The whole... your whole relationship to the world is new. It's intense, but it's just. I just love it, love it so much." (01:44)

• She expresses awe at her daughter’s daily discoveries, noting how being a mother reawakens an adult’s sense of wonder and vulnerability:

  "The thing that I'm reminded of is awe... awe can sometimes feel very vulnerable, you know, because you don't have... control of this new discovery. You're just in relation to it. And it's such a kind of immediate, pure, very primal thing." (02:34)

On Playing "Wild" Agnes in Hamnet

• Connection to Nature and Wildness:
  Buckley discusses how Agnes’s primal, earthbound qualities deeply resonate with her own upbringing in rural Ireland:

  "I started off my life living in the back of a shed of a guest house... then we moved up to a house at the bottom of a mountain. And I very much feel like growing up in an environment where things grew because they wanted to grow... climbing mountains gave you an absolute respect that you're only a tiny, tiny thing in relation to a world that is... so big." (05:33)

• Motherhood On and Off Screen:
  Filming Hamnet fueled a personal longing in Buckley to become a mother, creating an intriguing overlap between role and reality:

  "I deeply wanted to become a mother in myself. And it was such a gift to move through this woman and her motherhood and her love and her loss before I became a mother myself." (06:45) "I watched it for the first time when I was eight months pregnant... I got pregnant a week after I finished filming." (09:38-10:06)

The Power—and Pain—of Motherly Tenderness

• Tenderness as Strength:
  Buckley explores the notion that to be tender requires immense courage:

  "It's actually incredibly strong to be tender, and it's also deeply vulnerable... to leave from a place of that softness was—it's changed me. It's changed my... everything." (08:40-09:02)

• The Primal Scream Scene:
  On Hamnet’s most harrowing moment—Agnes’s scream of grief for her dying son:

  "Well, I didn't know that scream was gonna come. That was not in the script... it’s ancient... kind of like a scream for a hundred mothers who've lost their children in some way. And with auto respect, I guess I just tried to go as far in that river as I could and let that come through me... as a vessel." (11:40-13:12)

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

On Personal Transformation

• "You are also a new thing." — advice Buckley received during pregnancy, which became a guiding mantra (01:49)
• On witnessing her daughter's emerging spirit:

  "I see this life force in her and determination... I hope she loves life as much as I do." (04:09)

On Choosing Her Birth Experience

• "I did want to be in my body as much as I could and be able to choose what kind of birth I wanted to have." (07:46)

Emotional and Unscripted Acting

• "None of us knew that was gonna come." — Buckley on her unscripted scream in Hamnet (11:51)
• "It’s kind of impossible to imagine where grief begins and ends... in a moment like that." (12:14)

Reading: "The Wrong Kind of Inheritance" by Victoria Daugherty

(16:26-26:24)

Buckley delivers a moving reading of Victoria Daugherty’s essay, centering on family tragedy, intergenerational curses, and the healing balm of maternal love. The essay details Daugherty’s family’s legacy of loss—her mother and grandmother both lost children—and how this shaped her own fears as a parent. When her own daughter is born gravely ill, Daugherty finds unexpected strength and reconnection with her mother, ultimately finding peace and deepening their bond.

“While robbing me forever of my peace of mind, it has given me my mother.” (24:51, essay as read by Buckley)
“For 40 years I had a hole in my heart… and now that hole is filled.” (26:11, essay as read by Buckley)

Reflections: Generational Healing and Finding One’s Voice

(28:22-38:38)

Buckley and Martin discuss the lingering resonance of the essay and Buckley’s own family dynamics:

• On Breaking Generational Curses:

  “Something has to interrupt your life in some way to... wake you up into yourself again and find your voice outside of the curse. I definitely have experienced my mother crack a curse for me and for us as a family recently.” (28:53-29:49)

• On Her Mother, Marina:
  Buckley pays tribute to her mother’s courage in reinventing her life later in adulthood—going back to university, becoming a music psychotherapist, and finally inhabiting her own fullness:

  “She’s in her 60s now, and she’s just started a whole life for herself… she’s waking something up in these people… and has found in freeing herself and being as full in her life, this wild intimacy with things that might be just about to be lost.” (32:26)

• Hopes for Her Own Daughter:

  “All the parts of you are not too much. You know, the world needs all of you... there's no too muchness. It's only to be lived fully.” (34:20-35:25)

Noteworthy Excerpts & Timestamps

• On awe and newness in motherhood:
  [02:34] Jessie Buckley: "The thing that I'm reminded of is awe... very primal thing."
• On primal wildness:
  [05:33] Jessie Buckley: "I think it probably resonates with us all in some shape or form... we've just become so disconnected from our own wildness."
• On the transformative power of tenderness:
  [08:40] Jessie Buckley: "It's actually incredibly strong to be tender... to lead from a place of softness changed me."
• On generational curses and finding one’s voice:
  [29:09] Jessie Buckley: "Something has to interrupt your life... to wake you up and find your voice outside of the curse."

Lighthearted Closer

• Buckley’s Red Carpet Moment:
  Jessie brought her midwife to a premiere, delighting in the presence of women who supported her through her transformational moments:

  “She saw me, like, growling like a buffalo on my bathroom floor for 26 hours... and then I'm in a dress and she's like, well, you look very glamorous." (36:55-37:13)

• On Her Mother Watching Hamnet:
  An intimate look at how art, life, and family intermingle:

  "I hope she can see that I'm trying to keep that voice going. You know, it's..." (38:16)

Conclusion

This episode is a lyrical meditation on how motherhood can be both shattering and sublime, how art reflects and refracts life, and how tenderness—even in the face of loss—is an act of everyday courage. Through Buckley’s vulnerability and insight, listeners are offered a moving exploration of love’s enduring and evolving legacy.