Modern Wisdom #1006 - Chris Bumstead: Life After Olympia — Fatherhood, TRT & Finding Purpose

Date: October 13, 2025
Host: Chris Williamson
Guest: Chris Bumstead

Episode Overview

In this deep and candid conversation, Chris Bumstead — six-time Mr. Olympia Classic Physique champion — joins Chris Williamson to discuss life in the aftermath of retiring at the top of his sport. The discussion covers the psychological adjustments to leaving competitive bodybuilding, the emotional and existential questions that arise, transitioning into new roles as a father and husband, and the ongoing journey of finding meaning, self-worth, and new routines post-Olympia. The conversation is packed with raw personal reflections, philosophical tangents, and practical advice, particularly around identity, hustle, emotional awareness, and how to navigate profound life changes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Messiness of Retirement & Identity Loss

• Initial Feelings Post-Retirement ([00:00])
  • Bumstead describes retirement as "both good and bad in different ways." While proud of his decision, he admits to feeling lost at times, filling his days with busywork and struggling to process a radically different life.
  • Quote: “Ten years of chasing a single goal...and now it’s gone, you know? It’s definitely been interesting. But I feel like the fact that I’m feeling a lot now...shows that things are coming up that might have been masked by the overwhelming pressure of competing.” — Chris Bumstead [00:40]
• On Slowing Down ([01:53])
  • He shares that years of momentum and a relentless focus on progress masked subtler emotions. Now, having slowed down, he finds himself restless, always seeking progress as proof of self-worth.

The Trap of Progress Addiction and Hypervigilance

• The Price of Relentless Self-Improvement ([03:32])
  • Bumstead discusses how being constantly goal-oriented helped him rise to the top, but also caused underlying tension and exhaustion once the big goals were gone.
  • Quote: “Being constantly hypervigilant means you’re constantly on...even if I’m not aware of it, it’s like subconsciously happening.” — Bumstead [04:31]
  • Chris W. adds: “Addiction to progress and what it feels like to be in progress rehab is something I feel very much as well.” [08:19]

Goal-Setting: Free Will vs. Compulsion

• Choosing Goals Freely vs. Out of Need ([09:19])
  • Bumstead questions whether his drive to compete was a truly free choice or if it was anchored in the need to prove self-worth, likening it to an ego attachment hard to escape.
  • Quote: “Is it a free choice if I feel like I have to do it to be good enough? If my self-worth and identity are attached to competing?” — Bumstead [09:24]

Modern and Millennial Ego Deaths

• Facing Followers & Ego in Social Media ([11:41])
  • A "millennial ego death": Losing 10,000 followers after Olympia revealed how attached he’d become to external validation despite previous proclamations of indifference.
  • Quote: “It was easy to say when it’s just constant skyrocket up...but all of a sudden it’s, like, not there.” — Bumstead [12:10]

Modeling the Rise, Not the Result

• Advice Given from the Top Isn’t Always Applicable ([16:06])
  • Williamson points out that most high-performers advise balance and “trusting your gut” only after they’ve achieved their goals, which doesn’t help those still striving. Progress is rarely as balanced as post-success stories suggest.

Using Imperfect Motivations as Fuel

• It’s OK to Start with Insecurity ([17:53], [18:50])
  • Both agree that early motivation often comes from insecurity, validation, and proving others wrong — and that’s fine for starting. The “fuel” changes as you climb.
  • Quote: “At the start, most people have way more hate than they do love...So all of the chips on your shoulder, just use it.” — Williamson [19:30]

Retiring on His Own Terms

• Would He Have Retired If He Lost? ([22:09])
  • Bumstead claims he would have retired even if he’d lost, based on a shift in values and the desire not to grow to resent the sport or his own achievements. Yet, he acknowledges the privilege of "bowing out on top."
  • Quote: “If I trust and believe in myself to live up to those values, what I would have been able to do was to use that loss...to take what is in my control, how I handle it, to learn something and try and apply it, to be the best version of myself.” — Bumstead [27:01]

Navigating Loss of Structure and Motivation

• Loss of Routine & Lack of Big Goals ([34:59])
  • The end of bodybuilding left Bumstead without the structuring force of annual Olympia preps, resulting in feeling directionless and waking up exhausted. He’s found some stability in simply returning to training for enjoyment and health.
  • Quote: “Do I still have the passion for anything? Where do I find that energy?...But thing I’m working for is just, like, empathizing with myself that I don’t need to be constantly progressing towards something.” — Bumstead [35:49]

Advice for Those Feeling Lost

• The Value of Being Lost ([43:56])
  • He reframes being “lost” as an opportunity for discovery rather than a failure. Advocates for grounding oneself in the basics (like the gym) until a new path emerges.
  • Quote: “Being lost is an opportunity to stop and slow down and reflect where you truly want to go...It’s okay to be lost right now.” — Bumstead [45:26]

The Cheat Code of Relationship Support

• Importance of Intimate Relationships ([46:10])
  • Bumstead credits his wife as providing a “cheat code” through unconditional acceptance, stating the greatest confidence comes from being seen and loved regardless of outcome.
  • Quote: “The ability to be seen by someone else, I feel like, is such a cheat code for life. If you’re feeling lost, you feel alone...” — Bumstead [46:10]

Where Does Self-Worth Come From After Success?

• Living to One’s Own Values ([47:53])
  • Bumstead now derives self-worth from living out authentic values (being a good father, being present), not from others’ opinions.
  • Quote: “If I know I’m showing up as being a good father...that’s within my control, then I feel good.” — Bumstead [47:53]

Process vs. Outcome — Can We Detach?

• Is Focusing on Process Realistic for High Achievers? ([49:14])
  • Discussion of whether it’s realistic or even desirable for top performers to focus solely on process (being a good dad, training hard) instead of external results. Williamson and Bumstead agree that detachment is a “luxury belief” and rarely how the best reach the top.
  • Quote: “It sounds great in principle to say, detach yourself from the outcome...but practically, I’m yet to see anybody that performs at the peak of their sport do that.” — Williamson [54:14]
  • Quote: “If they feel like they’re completely good as they are, win or lose, maybe they’re like, well, why am I even doing this?” — Bumstead [54:33]

The Bravery of Stepping Away on Your Own Terms

• Leaving at the Top Is Rare and Brave ([57:03], [61:47])
  • Williamson emphasizes how unusual it is for an elite athlete to retire "early" by choice, rather than being forced out by injury or decline. Bumstead’s nuanced answer: life isn’t black and white; you can grieve what’s lost and still embrace what’s next.

The Unteachable Lessons of Success

• External Solutions Don't Fix Internal Problems ([65:14])
  • They discuss “unteachable lessons”: money and fame don’t fill internal voids, but many must achieve those to learn the truth for themselves.
  • Quote: “Money doesn’t buy you happiness. But if having money shows you that money isn’t the thing that makes you happy, then it’s still having money that's making you happy.” — Bumstead [68:10]
  • Jim Carrey, Naval Ravikant, and others are cited as examples of those who’ve learned firsthand that fulfillment isn’t found in achievement alone.

Physical Changes and Post-Competition Health

• How Fast Does an Olympia Physique Deteriorate? ([73:01])
  • Bumstead lost ~25 lbs of muscle during a post-retirement injury rehab/layoff, but says muscle memory is real, and he could bounce back. He’s now on TRT to maintain health after years of PEDs.
  • Honest discussion about health issues faced by ex-bodybuilders, including gut health struggles and challenges of normalizing hormones.

Fatherhood & Child-Rearing Philsophies

• Being a Dad to a Daughter ([86:24], [87:58])
  • Deep reflections on what it means for a man to be emotionally present for his daughter, the roles dads play, and the desire to be a safe confidant.
  • Quote: “I want her to be able to talk through it with me...If she feels safe to talk to me, then I have the opportunity to really give — here’s what I think about it.” — Bumstead [88:56]
• Gentle Parenting & Boundaries ([89:52])
  • Emphasis on boundaries combined with emotional validation: “It’s okay that you’re angry, but also, I’m not going to give it back to you, and I love you regardless of how you feel.” — Bumstead [91:16]

Distribution of Identity & Hedging Self-Worth

• Not Putting All Self-Esteem in One Basket ([81:18])
  • Tim Ferriss’ concept of “identity hedging” is explored. Bumstead values having fulfillment from multiple domains (father, husband, business, passions) rather than relying on continued athletic achievement.
  • Quote: “If for one minute you could see yourself the way your child sees you, you would never be the same.” — Bumstead [83:31]

Masculine Emotional Openness

• Emotional Expression & ‘Man Points’ ([116:43])
  • Williamson jokes about the ‘man points’ needed before men feel permitted to show emotion. Even champions need to justify their tears by linking them to achievement.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bumstead on fatherhood:
  “My daughter’s getting old enough to say my name...so it’s like the most beautiful thing in my life. And I feel like they're kind of balancing each other out, but it’s still not like, neutral peace.” [00:40]

• Williamson on progress addiction:
  “If I can project that where I will be in future is going to be better, doesn’t matter that I think I’m not enough right now because tomorrow will be okay.” [07:37]

• Bumstead on social validation:
  “I thought I was better than that. And then I had to really be honest with myself...I wasn’t getting anything from it anymore that was serving me.” [11:41]

• Williamson on retiring at the top:
  “Nobody does that. Nobody gets even close to thinking — because you finally fucking arrived, right? You just got there and now you’re going to voluntarily leave.” [57:44]

• Bumstead on relationships as a cheat code:
  “The ability to be seen by someone else, I feel like, is such a cheat code for life.” [46:10]

• Williamson on ‘man points’:
  “Chris Bumstead can talk about crying...but only because he’s the greatest bodybuilder of his era and a six time champion. Only men who have achieved some degree of success in typical masculine pursuits...can open up about emotions with credibility.” [116:50]

• Bumstead on men and weddings:
  “There’s this like extremely masculine show of success and now it’s okay to cry...We don’t take enough time to think about these things.” [102:05]

Essential Timestamps

• 00:00 – Retirement’s realities, loss of direction, and fatherhood
• 03:15–05:30 – Hypervigilance, masked emotions, “worst HRV ever”
• 09:19–10:36 – Are our motivations really free?
• 11:41–15:25 – Social media, ego death, and shifting core values
• 16:06–20:33 – Misleading advice from the top, rise vs. result
• 22:09–28:38 – Would he have stepped down if he lost? Champion mentality; “on your own terms”
• 34:59–38:16 – Loss of routine, structure, and returning to gym for joy
• 43:56–45:39 – If you’re lost: lean on structure, give yourself grace
• 46:10–47:09 – Relationships as emotional cheat code
• 47:53–50:29 – Sourcing self-worth in values, process vs. outcome
• 54:25–55:53 – Rationality vs. emotion: can you “just enjoy the journey”?
• 57:03–63:20 – The bravery of walking away at the top
• 65:14–68:27 – Unteachable lessons about happiness, wealth, and validation
• 73:16–77:03 – What happens to an Olympia body post-retirement; TRT and health
• 86:24–92:38 – The importance of fathers, gentle parenting, and dad wisdom
• 102:05–103:20 – Why men often cry at weddings: belonging and being chosen
• 109:29–112:02 – On inner critics, self-empathy, and authenticity
• 116:43–118:38 – Emotional expression and the permission to feel

Podcast Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is honest, philosophical, and vulnerable — oscillating between introspection, practical advice, and humor. Bumstead’s journey after Olympia becomes a lens with which to examine progress, fulfillment, masculinity, family, self-worth, and the traps of both hustle and identity.

For listeners:
Whether you’re struggling with a loss of direction after achieving (or failing to achieve) a big goal, wrestling with your sense of identity, or seeking richer relationships and meaning outside of “the grind,” this episode provides wisdom, comfort, and down-to-earth guidance from someone who has both reached the summit and bravely walked away.

“You don’t know what you valued until it starts to decrease a little.” — Chris Williamson [16:38]

“Being lost is an opportunity to stop and slow down and reflect where you truly want to go.” — Chris Bumstead [45:26]