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Chris Williamson
Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. My guest today is Jesse James West. He's a YouTuber and an athlete. Fitness is supposed to be enjoyable and so is creating content about your favorite hobbies. But what about the dark side you don't get to see in your favorite influences? How low were the moments that they got to and what are the lessons to take away from that? Expect to learn how to overcome the fear and judgment of others. What running every day for 30 days does to your physique. Jesse's experience from his first time competing in bodybuilding, the current state of of male body dysmorphia, what it was like spending an entire day with the Liver King, the hardest challenge that Jesse has ever done and much more. People of the UK, I'm coming home for one night only. Thursday 28 November at the Eventim Apollo, home to BBC's Live at the Apollo. I will be performing live on stage. This will be the final time that you can see my self discovery show live before I completely kill it and put it into the grave. And tickets are already very limited. We've sold more than 50% and they're selling fast. So you need to get yours now by going to ChrisWilliamson Live London. That's ChrisWilliamson Live London. But now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jesse James West. Where does stay relentless come from?
Jesse James West
The relentless part that comes from my father 100% where he definitely ingrained in my head being relentless. I feel like without saying stay relentless to me, just sort of by his actions throughout life. And I believe that as I have gotten older, as I've played sports my entire life and obviously not now, but from 11 years old all the way until 18 years old playing sports, I discovered the whole like nonstop, continuously grinding and the more work you put in, the more you get out. And I feel like that sort of defined who I am and I feel that that's something that I've always aspired to be is to be the hardest worker in the room. And to do that you need to be relentless. I mean like you look at the dictionary definition, I'm sort of explaining it and it really stuck with me and I was like, I feel like this is, this is something that I embody and also can sort of motivate others to become hopefully.
Chris Williamson
What's your dad got to do with that?
Jesse James West
My dad, so my dad, he's a blue collar guy. He is, his name's John. So John is a blue collar man. He has worked many jobs, he's Cut wood in the winter and made me load it next to him and stuff. So he has always had a lot on his plate and just never really complained or anything and just always did it, did it, did it, get it done, get it, get it done. And never had an excuse either. And I was like sort of growing up around him was very much. He believed that that's how I should be as well. So one, by showing me and two, by always like telling me, like expectation. If there's something that needs to get done, you don't wait, you do it now. If you are trying to be great at something, you go practice, you get better and you will be great. Like it was very like tough love and stuff. But he always was. He had a million. He had five rental properties all at once that he was a landlord too. He fixed everything in the house, rebuilt the entire house on top of a normal 9 to 5 that he wakes up at like 4 in the morning driving an hour into the city doing work. So it's like witnessing that firsthand. It was almost like I grew up with no excuse to be made. So I feel like that really ingrained in my head from a young age. Just being relentless and like that's just who I am. And it's like I can't not be that way.
Chris Williamson
It took a while. For me, my sport growing up was cricket, which is much more gentlemanly.
Jesse James West
Did you play cricket?
Chris Williamson
Yeah, that was my game for a decade. But it's also not only gentlemanly but quite gentle as well. It's very much an art form. It's almost exclusively about skill S and C for it is primarily just for injury prevention. So the line of the hard work, what you put in is what you get out. That line wasn't really made clear to me until I got into the world of business and university. Even at school, I don't know, I just didn't. I kind of wish that I did, but I didn't draw the line between hard work equals good performance. I'm aware that that's a very basic realization. It didn't come to me until I was much older. But what does being an 11 to 18, 19 year old. Lacrosse.
Jesse James West
I play lacrosse. Yep.
Chris Williamson
Yeah. What does that philosophy when you're still a child feel like?
Jesse James West
You know, it was, it was very. It was very difficult to like comprehend as a kid. Looking back, it all makes sense. And I'm like, I have no regrets on my relationship with my dad, my relationship with coaches and sports, but playing lacrosse, I was fortunately very good at it. Right away. And I feel like whenever I was good at something, definitely my family was like, we gotta. We gotta push him the most we possibly can. And specifically, my mom pushed me a lot, but, like, my dad definitely pushed me a lot. It was like, you see those dads on, like, documentary shows about, like, a football player, classic sports D. Classic sports dad. That's just like, my son's gonna be the best. He's gonna be the greatest. He's gonna work harder than everybody. And it was very much that, which. But I did enjoy. I loved lacrosse, so I didn't see it as. So it was sort of like he's inducing that. That sort of relentless vibe to my life and, like, practice and then my love for the sport also coming together. It worked very well from a young age. So, like, I saw no problem with it. My mom saw no problem with it.
Chris Williamson
Drive and the passion of working together, like, just.
Jesse James West
It met well, and the synergy was there of. Of his ideation and my love for the sport. And then as time went on and I got older, you know, I discovered the gym. I really fell in love with bodybuilding. I saw. I watched people like Christian Guzman on. On YouTube and OG youTuber in the fitness world. And I was like, you know, I love lacrosse. I want to play. I want to play pro right now or in the future. I want to play pro. And I have the aspirations to be the best in the country. But part of me, like, my inner soul isn't being fulfilled. And as you get older, I feel like you discover that more and more. And As I approach 15, 16, 17, I realize, like, maybe lacrosse isn't going to be my end goal. Maybe there's something more for me, like Fitness or doing YouTube. Like, I really do have that desire from a young age. Let me. Let me add this. I made YouTube videos since I was 12. You look up Spartan strings online right now, and I am on the Internet, like, hi, I'm Jesse James. I'm like, little. Little boy on the Internet. But I had. I had aspirations outside of lacrosse that just kept getting bigger and bigger. And the problem was that my dad, his aspiration was to push me in lacrosse and push me to my absolute limits. Waking up early for workouts, chugging mass gainer shakes. You got to gain weight, you got to get bigger. You got to be stronger than everybody else out there in the rain, the snow, the hail, throwing the ball to me. And where was home for you? Home was New Jersey.
Chris Williamson
Right? Okay.
Jesse James West
And so we're out on the. We're in the boondocks in the freaking woods. He's tossing the ball, it's pouring, it's snowing, doesn't matter what the weather is. And we're getting the reps in because like I do have this love. So I don't see it as a too much of a problem. But then there's just a little bit too much force from him to do it where it almost kind of pushed that love away from the sport. And I was like, I just want to, I just want to bodybuild, I want to lift, I want to do these things. And you know, it developed into what it is today. So I'm like super grateful of every aspect of where my life went. But it kind of, we had our struggles and stuff of a relationship because of the, the love of the sport dying and his push becoming more so. It was like a pen.
Chris Williamson
He feels you pulling away. It's almost like being in a relationship with someone and they're pulling away and you're continuing.
Jesse James West
Exactly. And honestly, even coaches started feeling me pull away and then I got the pressure from them too. So it was like this very odd thing to grow up with. When I was 15 years old, I committed to Lehi University, which is like a very prestigious academic university. And I committed when I was 15. Like I, they were like, you are, you're going to be on a 90 scholarship in four years from now. So I'm like 15 years old. I'm going on college visits. I went to Loyola, Rutgers, I was looking at Virginia, I was looking at Lehigh, obviously. I went to Udel. I like, I'm like pitching myself to these coaches as a 15 year old. My mom's driving me there like, this is so cool. And I'm like, this is awesome. But like also I'm negotiating with a 45 year old coach at 15. It's a very odd.
Chris Williamson
Are you quite mature?
Jesse James West
I feel like I had to be because like I, I literally would be going into business meetings one on one with a coach in a button up at 15 years old, basically saying like.
Chris Williamson
Trying to hold together, trying to hold.
Jesse James West
Together and trying to understand. I'm like, what the hell is going on? But I'm trying to pitch myself to this coach of why I should be on his team in four years from now. They got rid of that rule. Like NCAA came in and was like, this is ridiculous.
Chris Williamson
Scout.
Jesse James West
You can't scout children.
Chris Williamson
Literally.
Jesse James West
It's like too, it's just too far. Now they have to wait till their, their September of their junior year to even Talk to them.
Chris Williamson
What age is that?
Jesse James West
17. Right. So a good.
Chris Williamson
I feel like there's a big difference between 50.
Jesse James West
Oh dude. Yeah. So like that was a very interesting aspect of my life where it definitely looking back now helps me drastically in business meetings now. Like I have no discomfort in business.
Chris Williamson
For the best part of a decade literally.
Jesse James West
So it's, I'm only 24 so like for the next nine years I, I'm pitching myself to companies saying oh why, why should you give me a higher scholarship than the next than the next? So I landed a scholarship at 15 for let's say about $200,000 is for a four year period. Like it's a verbal commitment. You're not actually signed, you can leave but like you're shunned if you leave. Like why would you leave this opportunity?
Chris Williamson
Especially given that you're getting education essentially for free, literally.
Jesse James West
And like my parents, you know they're middle class, middle upper class by now. And this was something like you're either going to community or you're going to get a scholarship. Which nothing wrong with community college. But like they wanted me to go play sports so they were like kind of like dangling in front of me like you need to go do this. And I thought that was the best path for me. And obviously things changed as I'm sure we'll get into. But things were very interesting from like 15 to 17, 18 had to. I feel like I grew up 10 years in those two years and obviously it led me here.
Chris Williamson
But very unique what is negotiating. I think a lot of people, even those that aren't still 15, can resonate with this sort of having multiple desires at once. So I have one thing which I may be very good at and the world gives me recognition for or perhaps I have a job title or maybe that provides for me or my family in one way or another. And then I've got this other thing that's kind of my secret passion. I almost feel a little bit ashamed about weirdly because it's not the main thing and I've committed so much time to it. So I've got sunk cost fallacy into the old thing. Uh, what have you learned about balancing those two and the sort of split brain existence that you have there?
Jesse James West
I, I discovered a lot once I actually got to college. You know, through Those years from 15 to 18, it was like growing up quick. And then by the time I was 18, it was very much in your face. This is reality now. And now I, instead of this idea of I want to go do this thing. But I'm. But I'm contracted via lacrosse team to go perform. That didn't exist beforehand, but now it's in place. I am at practice. I am at. I'm in front of the coach. He's telling me that I need to do these things. I'm in front of a tutor because I'm failing out of a class that I can't handle. And with all that on my plate, which many people can relate to, they. Everyone's busy. Everyone's. Everyone's schedule's hard. Everyone's trying their best, but maybe not succeeding yet. You know, they want to be there. And then you have this love for something else, like bodybuilding, like content. And I'm in this situation, and I'm. I'm young and I'm figuring out that it is only on me to make these decisions. And as much as my. I've listened. I'm very good at listening to what I. I'm very good at being told what to do and listening and doing it great. And that has gotten me places, but also hurt my own personal, like, soul at the same time. Because if I don't have that desire to go do it, I could still do it, and I'll do it great and I'll do a fantastic job.
Chris Williamson
Yeah. I had this. This insight around. Did you ever hear me talk about the region beta paradox? So it's where you feel sort of comfortably numb and you're stuck in this weird sort of interquartile range where things aren't so bad that they're terrible, but they're not sufficiently good that you're actually living an amazing life. And I had this. So this. This thing went kind of viral after I told Rogan about it. And I came up with this idea called the reverse region beta paradox. Being in an aggressively terrible working cadence or environment, but having such a tolerance for discomfort that you can endure it for a lifetime. Lower resilience, less stubborn people would snap and have to find a way to change. But not you. You're the David Goggins of working hard. Who's going to carry the workload? You are forever.
Jesse James West
Dude, I. You're, like, speaking my language right now. For so long. My. You know, my dad and coaches and stuff, and I love my dad. I don't want people to think otherwise. Have a great relationship now. But there was definitely rock rocky times with. With him and in my. And being on the lacrosse team where I was so good at just freaking being uncomfortable, I was like, this is my life. I've Accepted this, even if I'm not.
Chris Williamson
So happy, even if I don't want to do it.
Jesse James West
Yep.
Chris Williamson
Yep.
Jesse James West
I honestly just like. And this might shock a lot of people, I genuinely thought I was just a depressed person. Like, for years I was like, I'm just depressed. Like, I don't think I'm ever going to escape this. And that's just. I. I have anxiety and depression. That's me. But then when I was about 18, I realized that I am the only one. Like. Like, let's say it's David Goggins. I'm the only one that can carry the damn boat, okay? And that boat is going to crush me if I don't decide to do something with it. So I. I remember. I never. I'll never forget. I remember calling my mom, and I was like, mom. And she's a very, like, opposite of my dad, where my dad's like, tough love. She's very, like, soft, nurturing love. And I was like, I. I can't handle this. I'm making the decision. I am quitting. I know this going to. This is going to shock the entire family, is going to shock the coaches. I'm going have to do a bunch of stuff. I have paperwork, find a new college. We just got here like a month and a half ago at Lehigh, and I'm like, how long did you last? I did one full semester, but it was like, we got in on, like, mid August, and by October, I was like, this is the worst feeling I've ever felt in my life. I have to be done or this is going to end badly in, like, a year. And I consciously picked up that boat and was like, I'm out. And it was a very empowering and, like, it was a very strong spiritual awakening of inner peace, of making this decision for yourself. So for anyone that's, like, listening and trying to understand in their scenario, you're the only one that can pull yourself out and, like, save yourself. Like, truly, there might be people that can help you. You can lean on. You can, you know, you can count on them always, you know, talking you off the ledge or whatever, it might be helping you. But at the end of the day, there's one person that can truly make a decision and do things for you, and it's yourself. And you have no choice but to make those decisions as uncomfortable as they are and scary they. As they are. You have. You, like, you have to do these things and make those decisions that are tough.
Chris Williamson
Let's just linger on that for a second.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
So it's got me thinking about the fact that I'm a big proponent of encouraging people to have social support. I think in a world that's fragmented, anatomized and everyone's a droid bleeping their way through TikTok, spending a lot of time and having a strong social circle is a really good thing. And you lean on friends, they help you with lots of stuff. But there's a particular category of decision or maybe a number of categories of decisions that your friends simply can't help you with. They're not going to help you leave a relationship or leave a job or move house or change country. They'll once you've made the hard decision, as in the pivot in direction, they can sort of help you speed up or help you slow down. They can bring you into land if you man, I'm going to have the conversation with my boyfriend or girlfriend and I really don't want to do so on and so forth. They can help with that bit. But the actual what am I going to do if it's a hard left or right turn? There is nowhere else to hide. I mean you can have a conversation with them and you can talk it out, but there's nobody else that's going to come and leave the job or the relationship or the flat or the country or tell your parents that you do or don't want to do that thing that they do or don't want you to do.
Jesse James West
It's. It's so important. I've learned this in the past, like, I mean decade for sure. But the past few months I have really thought to myself about not having fear because I think got fearless tattoos. I have a fearless tat. I have a fearless tattoo right here. I, I have many words on my body that I try to just live by. So I mean like relentless fearless empathy which always trying to work on being more empathetic, caring as much as possible. I think surrounding people, your surrounding core can also support those meaningful things to yourself. But being fearless is not just going and doing something, oh, I'm going to jump off a cliff because I'm scared of it. It's doing the things that like quitting your job because you, you're you're so passionate in this other thing and you're like, I'm going to make this happen. I think being so fearless in my decision of, of leaving a scholarship, it was something that I didn't even realize I was doing. But I think it's the where, where I make mistakes in life and have to learn the most, which is always good to learn from your mistakes. But where I make the most mistakes is when I'm in fear. When I have fear and I, and it alters my decision or like puts these glasses on my face that I, that I, I don't even know they're on. And I'm doing things and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm acting a certain way and I'm like, wow, I, I messed up pretty bad here. I made this decision was so stupid because I was afraid of xyz.
Chris Williamson
Well, you're compensating to not do the one thing you probably should do but are terrified of doing.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
You've got this large, important elephant that you need to slit the throat of.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
And you're going to run around this entire jungle as opposed to just facing that one elephant. Hormozi says, I think it's Layla, actually, that says fear is an inch deep and a mile wide. So when you look at it, it looks like a huge ocean that's going to cause you to drown. But when you step in it, you realize it's just, it's really shallow and you're going to survive.
Jesse James West
And I think that's almost. It's really important to do things daily, you know, have daily habits of getting in the gym, doing things that are very difficult. Maybe, maybe you join a run club, like, like we talked on our panel, join a run, a new run club, start CrossFit or sign up for a marathon or. Like I said, getting an ice bath is a great example. It's like literally one of the reasons I do it because like, every day you look at that thing and you're like, I hate you. This is going to hurt. I'm kind of afraid to get in right now. But doing those little things that you can accomplish and get over fear for add up and then let's. It's like building habit and building blocks. So that way when you have these really hard things of like, hey, that relationship's not working, this job isn't working, you at least know the habitual side of it.
Chris Williamson
Yeah. Well, you've got a basis where you're not super fragile and if somebody sort of hits you a little bit, you're not going to shatter into a thousand pieces. That being said, I'm very good at the discomfort train, breathwork, ice bath thing, but for me, I'm a perennial people pleaser. I hate making other people feel uncomfortable. So I'm a pretty good example for someone that stuff. Actually, the hardness comes Easy in the physical realm, in the mindfulness realm, in all the rest of it. But when it comes to the social realm, that never really translated over that much. So one of the things that at least I've learned over the last, probably only the last year, that is a good daily habit or a regular habit to think about leaning into what you're talking about is basically taking the stairs. Do with something that's a tiny little bit more difficult than it maybe needs to be. That's the ice bath, that's the sauna, that's the. Whatever. A social equivalent of that which has made me braver and fear less in social scenarios is making my. Making my demands or my feelings known, like basically arguing for my own side. So somebody says, asks me how the day's going. I'm like, dude, you know, it is actually things are a bit tough at the moment, or X, Y and Z. A conversation where you know that you need to tell somebody about how they made you feel. Gotta tell you, man, I know that you probably didn't mean it, but the other day, that thing that happened that really pissed me off and, you know, I don't want this to impact our friendship, but that's. I don't want that to happen again. And this is how it made me feel. And I wanted to let you know because, you know, I cherish this friendship. That's a really difficult conversation to have, but those little things. So again, the reason I say that is that I feel like there's a big cohort of people who are great at making themselves suffer in work, in physical training, in diet, in whatever it is, and then they still get into the social realm. I feel like a pussy. Why am I such a pussy? When it comes to having a difficult conversation with a boss or a coworker or a friend or a girlfriend, and that. Make your demands known, advocate for yourself. That's what I meant to say. Advocate for your own needs and make them a priority and tell other people gently and again, proving that if you apply a little bit of pressure, you're not made of glass and you're not going to shatter. But one of my old boxing coaches said that the most important lesson that you learn in boxing is that when you get hit in the face, you're not going to break that. When you see new boxers, maybe even up to amateur boxers, there's a degree of flinch, the flinch response. But once you've beaten that and you realize, do you ever remember that Conor McGregor sequence that he did against. Who was the second guy that he won the title off the lightweight title. Not Aldo Khabib. I have no clue who is the, who is the second dude that he wanted off? And see Chase is opening up his laptop Anyway, he's got this, he throws this combination but the combination begins with this overhand right from the guy that he's fighting against. And it, it makes the end of Connor's nose go like that. It like. But he just knows the distance so well. And I always think about that punch sort of incoming and him basically understanding his tolerance, his resilience and knowing that that wasn't going to hurt. And he's his, he doesn't even blink. His eyes are open. Eddie Alvarez.
Jesse James West
Wow.
Chris Williamson
He doesn't even blink and this fist comes in and touches him on the nose. And then from there he's just open to do this. So I think socially the same with that. Have this difficult conversation, advocate for your own needs, make your needs a priority and believe that they're worthwhile and show that the world's not going to break down. People aren't going to call you a selfish, egotistical narcissist for doing it. And that's a good daily practice too. I think 100% trust really is everything when it comes to supplements. A lot of brands may say that they're top quality but few can actually prove it, which is why I partnered with Momentous. They make the highest quality supplements on the planet. They're literally unparalleled when it comes to rigorous third party testing. What you read on the label is what's in the product and absolutely nothing else. Three of my favorite products that I've been using to support my brain, body and sleep are Omega 3s, Tonkats, Ali and Magnesium L threonate that all help to support cognitive performance, optimal hormone function and better sleep. They don't just claim third party tested like a lot of other brands. What you read on the label is what you're putting in your body and absolutely nothing else. Best of all, they ship internationally and offer a 30 day money back guarantee. So if you're not sure you can buy them, try them and if you do not like them, they will give you your money back. Right now you can get a 20% discount off everything site wide by going to the link in the description below or heading to livemomentous.com Modern Wisdom using the code ModernWisdom at checkout. That's L I V E M O M E N t o u s.com ModernWisdom and Modern Wisdom a checkout Your high school. I, I remember you saying that when you started doing something a little bit different, your high school became very judgy. They weren't exactly super supportive. But as a young person, how do you overcome the judgment of other if you don't have the support of people around you?
Jesse James West
Yeah, so I have like so many scenarios in my head of like sort of screwed up things that people would do or say or what they were. I. I'll explain them. So when I was, let's just say 15 to 17, I don't exactly remember what, exactly what age, but I started my fitness page, which is now my Instagram, and it was called Jesse James Fitness. You know, it has a little ring to it. You know, it's like, it's clearly not my just name. It's like, oh, this brand that I'm trying to do, you know, sell T shirts, worker programs, whatever it might be. And obviously I said I had aspirations of being a YouTuber and all that stuff. And as you're in high school, at least in my high school, back then also, additionally, it was not as normal to try to start a YouTube. There was no tick tock, like Instagram and stuff. And they see this and they see me trying to do it. I have a good physique at this point. Like, there's no, it's not even like, I have no, no physique, no, no nothing.
Chris Williamson
Total wannabe fitness.
Jesse James West
Yeah, it's not even like I'm really just trying to be a wannabe. I, I genuinely could already be in the, in the industry in my opinion. I have good genetics. Thank you, mom and dad. And at this point I have like a few thousand maybe followers. And honestly a lot of them are probably just from lacrosse. And I go to the pep rally of like freshmen, sophomore, junior, seniors. Everybody's at their own bleacher, there's doing tug of war, doing challenges. Battle of the classes it was called. And I'm, I'm a freshman at this time, I remember right now. Or a sophomore, whatever. And the seniors all chant, Jesse James Fitness. Jesse James Fitness. And I'm standing there and I'm like, okay, I can do two things here. I can look down and just like admit defeat and like let them win. And I'm not like that at all. And, or, you know, I can keep my chin up, I can look at them, I can double bicep flex and say, what do you want? What do you want? So we were going out for tug of war and that's when they were doing it. And I Just look at them. And I'm like. And I flex in my head, my soul. I'm like, I'm panicking. I'm uncomfortable. I'm embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. Like, there's the girls behind you that you want to date, the friends that you, you know, you're making and all this stuff. And, like, I'm trying to be cool and what. And whatnot, but I'm like, I can't let them see that. Like, it's a. It's a poker face that I got to keep on because at least. At least I can win that. And I feel like I kept doing that for so long. I really did, like, partially not give a fuck, but also. You'll always give a fuck. I still give a fuck. I get a hate comment now. If I get enough of them, I'm still going to give a fuck. I'm never not going to give a fuck. If you. If you don't care, that's just because you don't have a desire in this anymore. And I remember, I do the flex. We do the tug of war, whatever. And then in the hallways, they'd be like, jesse James Fitness, what's up, man? And I'd just be like, what's up, bro? What's up? Like, you know what? I'm on phase. I don't care. And I feel like people really started to pick up on that. And like, they're like, damn, this. This. This MFER is like, not breaking. And these were like the. The junior or the great above me or whatever. They're the cool kids. I called them the entitled kids. They very much were. No hate against them now, everyone. No big deal. It made me who I was. But another time was a kid for Halloween. I. And he might even be watching this. I forgive you. It's okay. He dressed up as me.
Chris Williamson
As.
Jesse James West
Hey, no, I'm kidding. He dressed up as me. And I. I remember seeing this, and I was like, this is. This is a. This is a new level. I have to accept. Like, this is. And honestly, like, I'll get into more. So he. He dresses up in me. He has a muscle suit on at a party. We're probably 16, 17. He was one of the kids. I would, like, go drink with his friends. I. I drank a little when I was in high school, whatever. And I wasn't really a partier. I didn't have time. I was playing lacrosse every day, and I was like, I'm sitting at home seeing on my. On my Instagram, and I'm like, wow, this is dressing up as me right now. It says Jesse James Fitness. And like, those things just, like, stick with you as like a. A driving motivation of, like, why I want to make it even more. It's almost like a trauma. A trauma reaction. Like, I was traumatized. My reaction is, I'm going to. I'm going to win. You're not going to. You're not going to control me. I'm going to defeat you and everything in front of me. You're just a wall that I have to break through, you know? And if I can't handle this, I don't deserve what I want. Like, if you. That. That was my mindset. And I saw that. I remember. And you know what's crazy is that now year probably a few months ago, he messaged. I'm not. I would never name him, but he messaged me about my Michael Chandler collab. And he's like, dude, saw the Chandler collab. So sick. Great job. And I was like, huh? Weren't you? And I was like, honestly, thank you.
Chris Williamson
It's one of those weird things about having a chip on your shoulder about stuff that happened in your past that maybe some kids knew or in reflection, realized how much it might have impacted you. But a lot of the time it's just kids being kids.
Jesse James West
I know.
Chris Williamson
And that's very strange, right, because the impact of something is so much greater than the, like, estimate of it. It hurts way more than what was thrown, if that makes sense. And that's a really strange thing, I think for people, it's circle for them to squat. How can it be the case that this person doesn't deserve for me to still bear a grudge against them? They. That. That hurt. And I remember. You still remember it now, you know, nearly 10 years later.
Jesse James West
It's crazy. Yeah, it definitely stung for a while, but it's also like one of the things that, for some reason, and I'm going to assume that it's from my mom, the way she raised me and always, like, hyped me up in a way or she. She believed in me before I believed in me. And she believed in me so much that I ended up believing in myself in everything I am. I weirdly believe in myself for things I shouldn't believe in myself, where I'm like, I could be. I could be a musician if I wanted. Let's be real, Jesse, you're a little tone deaf. But, like, you know, I mean, like, I had that mindset that's ingrained in me and from a young age, so Seeing those things happen. And then she would kind of be the. She'd be like the backbone. She'd be like, you can't let this affect you. Like, in. In reality, this is not doing anything. It's really not doing anything. The only thing I could do is hurt you. And then you're just stopping yourself from doing anything because it's in your head. Like, no one else is seeing that and going, you know what? I'm. I'm not gonna support Jesse because that kid wore a muscle suit. Like. Like, that doesn't exist. It's all how we perceive it. So having that, like, backbone and belief in my body that my mom instilled me from a young age, I feel like, is one of the reasons that I am in the position I am where I have so much unconditional belief in myself that I tell people that if you believe in yourself, like, you actually believe. Not just like, oh, I. I believe in myself because I was told by Chris and Jesse on a podcast, too, like, if you genuinely believe in yourself, you are 75% already there towards your goals. Like, you will. You will accomplish them if you believe yourself. Put in the work. It's done.
Chris Williamson
What has been. The. What's been the process of closing the loop with your dad.
Jesse James West
Yes.
Chris Williamson
Having been pushed so hard, presumably a lot of disappointment when the thing that he's worked on with you for nearly a decade.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
Goes like, pull the pin and just toss it out the window.
Jesse James West
That was. That was a very hard time, honestly, for my whole family, because, like, me, it's me, my sister, my mom, my dad, and we're all very close. We all communicate a ton. Great relationships. And for years, it was all great. But then with my dad being so. And he. Because he thought this was the best for me, he thought, I. This is going to make Jesse successful. He's going to have security when he's older. Like this. It was out of love. It was just this love that was, I guess you could say hurtful in a way, and, like, a little toxic. And so I go through. I'll give you the kind of, like, the rundown of quitting and, like, ripping and then pulling the pin on the. On the grenade and chucking it. I call my mom. I call my sister. I believe first, I've always kind of gone to hers, like, all right, what do I do? Like, she's just kind of like another parent to me. And she's like, you're going to have to, like, you just call mom, tell her what's going on. She'll, she'll handle dad. That was kind of always how it went. Like, mom's going to handle dad. And I tell my mom and she's like, I'll talk to your father. And basically my mom tells me. The conversation went like this. They came to visit me at Lehigh during an alumni game. We were playing a game, and after the game we went to Target. Me and my mom are going in, just getting like, college supply stuff. Because you go early in, in sports, you, you don't go. And everyone else starts, and I go in there and this has been, I've been there for about three weeks, and I'm really fucking struggling. Like, very, very depressed. And I break down crying to her just, like, I can't keep it in. Like, And I'm just walking target, like, about to, like, shot to check out aisles to my right, and I start tearing up and I'm. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I look at her and I'm like, I'm like, something's so wrong. Like, I, I, I feel like I can't feel anything. I have no interest in, like, women right now. And not that I was pursuing anything else, but just, like, my emotion of who Jesse was. Like, I always wanted to go out and, like, talk to the girls. Didn't care at all. None of that social media. I still doing it, but I was just like, man, like, my desire of everything is gone. The only thing I had that kept me sort of sane was lifting and music. And those are, like, two things that I, like, combined together. And it was my only safe space. And I remember leaving that target my mom then dropped. My mom and dad are in the car. My dad doesn't know. I just cried. I'm like, suck it up. Like, you're fine. Like, get in the car. Like, I'm, I'm the good boy that's completing this mission of ours. And when she drops me off, she told, told me the conversation. She looked at my dad and was like, you're not saying a word. He's leaving. You have no say. So shout out Karen to this legend. And she's like, you have to accept this. And that's how it is. Period. End of conversation. And I feel like he kind of knew for a while. Like, I know we're skipping parts in the story of, like, my, my darkness and stuff, but, like, he kind of caught the idea a little bit. Like, my son struggling, but I feel like he kind of didn't want to admit it. And. But what that did was it broke down this massive barrier of how my dad thought I should go about life. And also broke down a massive barrier for myself that maybe I don't have to listen to everyone telling me to do things and maybe I should just listen to myself and actually, like, pursue things that I want to. And I haven't, I haven't been able to in six years of my life. I've been playing lacrosse every day, every weekend, missing homecoming late to prom, leaving prom weekend because I got to go play in an all star game. Like, the never ended. And like, it made me, like, relentless. And it definitely was, like, dedication and relentless right there. But that stuck with me for so long of like, I didn't get anything for a while of, like, experience that normal people have. And I feel like it just hit a big breaking point when I got to college. And once that happened, it was, it was then, now time. Like, my mom tells my dad, Jesse's out accepted, or, you know, you're not going to have a relationship with your son. Basically, I then, you know, I come home for the weekend, I talk to my dad and stuff, and he's like, he's very understanding. He's like, honestly, I, I, I would, I, I, I don't want to speak for him, but I think it's one of his biggest regrets is pushing me that, that far to my limits, where as a father, you never want to push your son into depression or anything. Not that he pushed me there, but, like, his actions added up the setup. Yeah. And I know, like, we have a great relationship now. We did throughout years. It was up and down, good, bad, sometimes. Now it's a great relationship. But during that time, it definitely, like, changed his mindset of, like, just everything. And really, like, John had to become a new man and accept things, and I had to become a new man and learn that I have to say what I want in life, do what I want. And like you said, hold yourself. I have to advocate for myself at all times because I, this is a saying that I stuck with. Do what you're meant to, not what you're supposed to. Everyone is always supposed to be doing something. But if you're not meant to be doing that, why the are you doing it?
Chris Williamson
Like, seriously, I wonder how many people have gone through their entire lives never doing anything that they weren't supposed to do.
Jesse James West
Yep.
Chris Williamson
You know that there's sad. It's just been one big series of dominoes from when they were born until now at whatever age they are, where they never told their dad or the equivalent of it that they didn't want to do lacrosse.
Jesse James West
Yeah. And it's like one of my main missions on social media. Yes, I want to do big things, make cool videos. But like the, the true why of like the core of why I started, why I do all this was because I went through that. And I feel like I went through such a dark phase of my life with such a bright awakening. I was like, people need to know this shit. Like people need to just not. Not be told it, but shown it. I would, I'd advocate for myself that on my channel it's me living my best life doing cool things that I have desires that I've interested in. You know, I'm interested in Vikings. I'm gonna go freaking Norway, jump off cliff with Vikings and eat and drink mead and do these cool things. Because like, that's something I've always wanted to do. I have a lot of fascination and stuff like that. And I always wanted to leave a subconscious message with my videos, like if you're not living life to the fullest, like you are missing out on so much. And I hope that people can watch this and realize that you are worth that meant to life rather than that supposed to life. And I hope people can pursue their meant to eventually.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, it's scary, man. That's, you know, why I think advocating for yourself, making your needs known almost. There's this sort of assumption a lot of people have, it's very much a British thing, but maybe a working class thing too, that who am I to actually have needs or desires or wants in that regard. That there's this sort of weird glory and sacrifice in subjugating yourself. It's like, no, no, no, no. It's noble for me to hate what I do and still do it. It's noble for me to suffer this sort of weird sort of self flagellation as you whip yourself through whatever it is that you're going through. And in some ways there is. But no one's going to give you some award at the end of your life that says he suffered in silence.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
There's not going to be a banner over your deathbed that goes, congratulations for never making a fuss. Yeah, I don't think that that exists. And so much of the advice that's on the Internet at the moment has been born out of a identity politics, victimhood, fragility over diagnosis of normal human discomfort as a pathological mental problem world. So most of the content is Goggins and Jocko saying, stay hard, suck it up, buttercup. You don't need to be such a soft person. But there is a world of people out there who are making themselves suffer too much, who aren't advocating for their own desires, who aren't making their needs known, who don't believe that they're. That they should be a priority in their life or in anybody else's. And I think that they're the sort of people that listen to this show, and that stuff in many ways pushes them further into what they already have too much of. They don't need to do more suffering. They need to get better at making their own needs known to the people around them.
Jesse James West
Yeah, I think. I think it comes down to, like, how I said about believing in yourself. I think a lot of people weren't raised the way to have that. Where they need to learn that in their 20s, 30s, 40s, whatever. And that's way harder than growing up thinking that. So I'm definitely, like, very blessed to have that intuitional belief in myself from, like, day one. And I think for those that may not relate to that, how. How I have that belief, it's one of those things that. That's where I think you need to realize there's things like the 9 to 5, and there's things like the entrepreneurial route. And I think it's really important for people to realize that it isn't always grass. Isn't always grass. Is greener on the other side. I think people need to realize also that there is just as much, in some scenarios, struggle in, oh, I'm going to do everything on my own. I'm gonna be an entrepreneur. You're working 24 hours, brother. Good luck. It's hard. Nine to five. Good luck. If I had to go to that, good luck. It's hard. It's hard on both ends of life. It's just a matter of almost like, what evil do you want to put your energy into?
Chris Williamson
Pain you want to have to deal with?
Jesse James West
Like, they see Goggins and they think, oh, suffer, suffer, suffer. Let's go, let's go. I'm gonna. I'm gonna get through this job. I don't care. And that makes them. Maybe they get dopamine off of that, but you also could just input that same exact suffering energy into maybe something that you have passion and drive for. It's still gonna maybe have its moments of difficulty and suck, but at least it's towards something that, like, your inner soul, it's different feeling of. Of outcome of just internal feeling of your. Like your soul's dopamine. Hits, you know, I mean.
Chris Williamson
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Jesse James West
So in both situations, it's like five things that I've kind of like said, I'm out. Um, I went, I left that normal teenage life, that's 1. Left Lehigh, that's 2. Went to Montclair State University, D3. School very close to home, sort of like a more expensive community college you can live at. And played lacrosse there and played there. Did very well, Was like a. Had the most goals in the team and stuff like that. So again, people are like, keep doing it, bro, keep doing it. You're doing amazing. Oh my God.
Chris Williamson
Positive reinforcement.
Jesse James West
Yeah. And I'm like, I'm like, is this what I'm supposed to be doing, though. So then that got to a point where I was like, I. I went into. I went straight into my coach and was like, hey, I don't want to do this anymore. That was. That was the third time he luckily, like, I. I appreciate what he did. He was like, I want you to shift your perspective. I don't want you to look at this. I was waiting for the beeping. I don't want you to look at this as, ah, you have to be here. Just go out, hang out with the guys, do your thing.
Chris Williamson
Stop putting pressure on.
Jesse James West
Stop putting pressure on yourself. And that lightened it up for a while, really did. And kind of like as almost like an internal anxiety that we all put on ourselves of like, I have to be here. I have to do this. Oh, I got to wake up at 6am tomorrow. Rather than just being like, you know what? It's happening. Let's accept this rather than fight it. And that internal fight, that internal fight is where anxiety is painful. Because in your head, you're basically living through it multiple times, and you're forcing yourself to feel the anxiety that's happening in real life. But if you just take a second, this helps me a lot with anxiety. I take a step back, I go, I have anxiety right now, and I'm feeling it, and I allow myself to feel this anxiety. And my body almost like releases the tension and I kind of relax into it. And yes, there's still anxiety, but it's like. It's like when you're in the ice bath and you're, oh, fuck, oh my God, I'm dying. This is this killing me. And then you're like, you know what? And you just let it hurt.
Chris Williamson
There's some days that you get in.
Jesse James West
There, you have to just let it. You have to just let the. Just accept it, accept the pain.
Chris Williamson
Mark Twain says, worrying is like paying a debt that you don't owe.
Jesse James West
Mm.
Chris Williamson
And that's it. It's not just the discomfort of the thing that you're going to have to do. It's the 50 times that you think about that thing in advance of it. And then once you finish thinking about it and it happens, you then sort of ruminate about the fact that it. Yeah, I know exactly what I also want to say.
Jesse James West
And I don't think people, a lot of people know this about me, which I'm totally fine being open about. But I. I'm on an antidepressant. Since I was 15. I experienced a ton of anxiety when I was like 15. I had no idea how to handle it. So I kind of like acted out in anger because I just didn't know what this feeling was. And it was just straight up anxiety. And it came a lot from the pressure of sports. And I only scored two goals today. I performed better last week. What do I do? I just dropped the ball. Everyone's looking at me, the coaches are mad, whatever it might be. And I went on to Zoloft like 50 milligrams for literally nine years. Pretty crazy the one time I came off. And the reason I'm bringing this up because I want to almost normalize. Like, hey, if you're on this stuff, like I used to feel ashamed that I was on it and not tell anybody. Like maybe my two best friends knew for like five years and no one else knew. But I went on it for from 15 to 18 when I went to Lehigh is the only time I ever came off.
Chris Williamson
The time. The time you made the most important decision in your life?
Jesse James West
The time I made the most important decision in my life and also felt the most pain in my life. Did I feel more pain because I was off? I have no idea. 50mg is not a lot. It's small. But I then went back on, you know, felt regulated. Does it work? I have no. I honestly have no idea.
Chris Williamson
Because you really tell you being you without being. I've never been interested in titrating down or dropping off it or. Is this going to be for the rest of your life?
Jesse James West
It's a good question. I've had these conversations. One thing that I'm afraid of is altering my mind from where it's at right now. I think eventually I think it comes from a lot of internal work and daily practices to be able to shift off of it. Like, you know, I get on breath work. I don't do that now. I gotta, I gotta maybe go in the sauna and the ice bath. I know little things like that that I need to take into account if I'm coming off of it. The only thing I fear and I could be like just like a trauma thing is in 2018, just being that depressed and having. I think that me stopping registers in my brain as that's going to happen again. It might not, you know, it probably doesn't, but in my head I'm scared.
Chris Williamson
It's a high risk strategy, man. I mean I have no idea what long term, decades long SSRI usage is, but you know, you've got fiance, you've got business, you seem like you have a lot of energy. So a lot of the things that seem to come along for the ride with SSRIs, like libido dipping, energy dipping, desire to drive and train and stuff like that.
Jesse James West
I don't have that, luckily.
Chris Williamson
Well, yeah, it's.
Jesse James West
Or maybe imagine if I was out without it.
Chris Williamson
I'd be like having sex with everyone.
Jesse James West
Everybody watch.
Chris Williamson
I had Andrew Wilkinson on the show. He's a billionaire. He owned tiny.com. he's got a bunch of other businesses, and he was singing the praises of SSRIs as well. And this is another. Another one of those conversations where the Midwit headline is, SSRIs are overprescribed for people that don't need them. Therefore all SSRIs are bullshit and everyone that's on them is a wimp. Right. The second order smarter person thinking is there probably is overprescription. And maybe SSRIs do only move the needle a little bit, especially for many cohorts. But some drugs, some people are hyper responders to certain drugs. And it seems like for you, hasn't come with a whole bunch of side effects. And it does seem to work. Well, Andrew Wilkinson said the same. He tried everything. He tried keto, he tried carnivore, he tried breath work, cold. He'd done all of the different things. And then he tried SSRIs and it seemed to work. So I'm like, I'm really keen to just get people out of this reflective midwit thinking, which is, oh, pussy SSRIs. And you go, okay. Is it somehow more noble for someone to suffer and be miserable as opposed to taking. It's the same thing with Ozempic. I think lots of people are going to come around eventually when the conceptual inertia of taking a pill to lose weight is cheating. Okay, does that mean that the caffeine in your drink is cheating? Because that's augmenting the way that you operate. Does it mean that a diabetic that can't produce insulin that needs to take a shot, Are they cheating to stay alive?
Jesse James West
They're pussies.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, pussy just like, suck it up, pussy. So I really, and I'm fortunate with the audience I have that they're thoughtful people. But, yeah, avoiding that midwit thinking is something that's super important and it's really cool. The SSRI effectiveness for you that seems to have you functioning pretty normally.
Jesse James West
People I've heard on the MOG cast, it's like Sush and James English years ago. They were Like, I think Jesse's brain automatically produces Adderall in his head. And I was like, that makes a lot of sense. I don't. I don't do any drugs, like, whatsoever. I drink maybe one drink a month, and it's like some. The way I'm operated is almost like I am on these performance enhancing drugs, I feel like. But just naturally, something's in my body and drive and passion. So luckily, the SSRIs haven't affected me in any negative way. Maybe that's why I'm, like, able to work so much. I don't know.
Chris Williamson
It seems happy. It seems like it's functioning pretty well.
Jesse James West
That's why I'm so happy, guys.
Chris Williamson
Also, to think about what you said, that if you were to come off them, you would have to go through all of these routines maybe to ensure that mental health was in a good place. So last six to eight months for me has been rough. I've been detoxing from mold in a house that I was living in, which, for anybody that's going through it, it's brutal. I still haven't sort of fully talked about it on the show yet, but it's been awful. It's so hard. And the way that I described it to my therapist was, it feels like the gravity of your mood is so much heavier.
Jesse James West
Wow.
Chris Williamson
So in order for me to be in a good mood or for my brain to be functioning well, I have to have just got out of a cold plunge after doing a sauna, listening to my favorite music on my way to see my friend, to eat my favorite food while the sun's shining. You know, it's. It doesn't just. You don't just stumble upon a good mood, and you don't just stumble upon a good sort of mind space in terms of energy. I'm always forgetting things. My mood is always struggling, and it feels like swimming upstream. And that's kind of the same thing you're talking about there. So when it comes to enhancements in different ways. I was talking to Dr. Mike and Crystal, his wife, the other day, and she was saying there's even this new class of SSRIs now that they've dialed in the formulation more effectively. It works on a different pathway. There's even fewer side effect. It's basically free happiness. And I understand because of. Up until now, most of pharmacology hasn't come along. Every time that you try and give someone a free lunch, there is some unseen cancer down the road. There is some side effect. Cholesterol's through the roof and people are dying because of blood clots or whatever it might be. There are all of those, apart from when you get to the stage where you can fully master these things. That's like kind of saying previously, well, you know, we've said that surgeries are going to work for all of this time, but each time that we do it, people keep on getting infected. It's like, yeah, that's because you didn't have an understanding of the germ theory of disease. But then as understandings continue to develop, I think we should be cautious about using lessons from the past to sort of inform right now, at least super judgmentally. It's like, let's be open to this. Especially given it's like saying, how can you have a computer that talks to you? You go, well, I don't know. LLMs seem to be doing a pretty good job. So the same thing might happen in pharmacology as well. But, yeah, the idea of having to work hard for a good mood is something that I've been intimately familiar with over the last few months. So I feel you.
Jesse James West
It's a fun fact. I actually forgot to take mine last night, so today I was like, withdrawing. That's one of the reasons. I also like coming off short acting. The. What do you mean?
Chris Williamson
What is that? It's. Well, you didn't take it last night.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
And today you feel it. About.
Jesse James West
About an hour and a half ago, I was like. I was like, why am I so dizzy? And then I looked at my fiance and I was like, I didn't take my pill last night, so I'll turn a corner. And my brain was like, wow.
Chris Williamson
So it's, it's happening.
Jesse James West
It's about delayed by, like, it's like 36 hours. I got hit and I was like, whoa.
Chris Williamson
Okay. But it's not as if you build up some passive reservoir of this stuff.
Jesse James West
I guess not.
Chris Williamson
So it's happening pretty quick. That's interesting.
Jesse James West
I've always had that, like, if I miss it one day, I get. I get dizzy.
Chris Williamson
Getting onto some of the stuff that you've done in fitness, we talked about this earlier on hybrid training. Running is super popular at the moment.
Jesse James West
Yep.
Chris Williamson
You ran every day for a month.
Jesse James West
Yep.
Chris Williamson
What did that do to you?
Jesse James West
It gave me a lot of respect for runners, especially hybrid runners. Honestly, all runners, Any, any, any new challenge will work out tough. But doing it every day, it was like new and fun. And you're sore in the beginning and it's really hard, but I feel like Running is a different sort of reward where I see a very quick result where I run three miles on day one, horrible time. I'm dying. I'm cramping. I feel terrible. I'm like, bro, I'm running a marathon in 30 days. How is this going to happen by day seven, I'm like, I can run three miles. Then when you go to six, you know, it's hard again. You gotta taper up. I did a very rapid prep. No one really does this. Nick Bear sort of coached me. He's like, hey, this is the best case scenario. You're gonna run this many miles each day. Good luck. No one should do this.
Chris Williamson
So you started from not being a runner.
Jesse James West
Yep.
Chris Williamson
And within 30 days, did full marathon. Full marathon.
Jesse James West
Sub four, baby.
Chris Williamson
How did that feel?
Jesse James West
Uh, the marathon. Excruciating. It wasn't the most painful thing I've ever done. And I'll. I'll segue into what. What it is, because you want to hear that. The marathon, the first 13 miles were pretty chill. And I was like, all right, we're halfway. Like, this is gonna be pretty easy. Like, not easy, but, like, I'll be okay. And then I get to mile 15, and I was like, bro, my legs, like, are just, like, not cooperating now. Mile 16. I entered the wall, which they call it. It's like a wall. The wall means the wall, and running is where you hit this block a period of time, many miles, one mile, could be 10. Doesn't. Everyone's different. And it's the biggest hurdle that you have to get over. It's the same. You're running at the same pace. There's no difference. Nothing has changed. It's just your body has. And your body and mind has created this wall that you have to literally get through. And for me, it was mile 16 to 24 for many people. Everyone's like, dude, when you hit mile 20, you're gonna hit a wall. It's. You'll get through it.
Chris Williamson
You'll get through it.
Jesse James West
20. 20. You'll hit it. 20. You hit bro. 16. And I. I kept. I kept. It kept getting drastically worse and worse. And I was like. I was like, I have to be leaving the wall soon. I have to be leaving the wall soon. Mile 22. Why am I still in the wall? What is happening? Am I. Am I gonna die?
Chris Williamson
Longest wall in history, so.
Jesse James West
And it's probably because I had a very rapid training for it. And at this point, I'm like, My hip flexors feel like they're going to tear off the bone. And I'm very underprepared. 30 days is nowhere near enough. No one should ever do that. Unless you're stupid making a YouTube video. We get to mile 24, I meet an angel of a man. I think his name was Matt. I believe it was Matt. It was, like, literally, like an angel that someone just put right there. And I was like, hey. Hey, you. And he's like, hey. Oh, you're that YouTube guy. He's like, I've seen you. And I was. I was like, can I. Can I run with you, please? Because we're running. We're through the woods also, so it's kind of like a difficult marathon. They're all hard. And I catch up with him, and I look at him. I go, do not slow down. Don't slow down. I'm gonna. I'm gonna keep up with you. And then we start getting this pace, and I'm just like. I'm. I want to cry already. It's. It's happening. But I stick with him. And then. And then he starts slowing down. I. And then I pick him up, and I'm like, come on, bro. Come on. And then a third dude joins us, and we're all dying together, and it's like, we've never met each other in our lives. We're all like, you got this, bro. What's your name? Nice to meet you. And we're dying, and we finally make it. And honestly, at, like, my. If I didn't meet Matt at mile 24ish, I genuinely. I kept, like, walking, running, walking, running the last few miles before I met him. And I was like, dude, if I have to walk this, like, I have failed so miserably. I'm so mad at myself because I know I can. I can handle the pain. And I kept reminding myself, this is not the hardest thing you've done. The hardest thing I've done. By the way, when I finished the marathon, my fiance was at the end, euphoric feeling, gave her a hug, saw my mom, had my team there, laid on the ground, couldn't get up, couldn't train hamstring for, like, six weeks.
Chris Williamson
I was gonna say, what were the next few days? Like?
Jesse James West
Oh, my God, the pain was so bad. I was limping for multiple days. Like, could barely lift my leg. And for about six weeks, my. The. The tendon behind your knee, there's, like, those two, like, stringy tendons. I could not do a hamstring curl for the life of me. I could do, like, squats and stuff, but I could not curl anything, like, not even like five pounds. Felt like I probably tore something. And then my hip. I could not raise my right leg. And then for a while, there's a lot of crunching going on. I was like, this was a bad idea. And video did great. 3.3 million views probably, and growing. The. My favorite part about that video was the, the storytelling and ending at the end was so like, pure and it really moved people and got people. So like the comments on that video was. Was different than anything.
Chris Williamson
Did you see Casey Neistat's video about his marathon, which the.
Jesse James West
The sub three? Yes. I saw how it took him like.
Chris Williamson
Years, Decades, I think.
Jesse James West
Decades. I ran mine 353 and I was super happy with that. I was like, what the hell did. I'm not gonna lie. I'm an athlete. I played you in lacrosse. I was very good at sports and stuff. Like being athletic doesn't. Doesn't. Isn't hard for me. But running a marathon is wildly different. Athletic doesn't really matter there. It's just a matter of like, willpower, conditioning.
Chris Williamson
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Jesse James West
But let me tell you about the hardest thing that I've done. Oh, God, I have trauma from this one. You can thank a guy named Brian Johnson, AKA Liver King. Okay, this guy, psychopath. Love him. Great guy to be around. Extremely successful businessman, very motivating. He does this thing called the barbarian. You have 15 pound on ankle weights on each leg. 15 pound or 70 pound backpack. 150, 140 pound sled and holding 70 pound kettlebells. And it's 112 degrees outside in Texas, and it's August or July or something. And you have to go through the sand. So, like, sand gives resistance as you pull. It's digging. It's digging itself into the ground. So it's torturous. So it's like, if you had to do the math, it's like £315 you're carrying. So, like. And you have to go a mile. I've done it once with him. The first time I met him, and we did on flat gravel. I did it in an hour, in 20 something minutes. I beat him by an hour. I was like, what the hell just happened, bro? That was like, okay. That was one of the. One of the hardest things I've done. Not the hardest. Then I do the second challenge. A year later, he invites me back. He's like, I want you to do the Barbarian Crucible. I'm like, this sounds terrible, but I'm in. I'm all for stupid things that I'm gonna have to put myself through. That's why I literally have, like, scars from this. And we do this about quarter mile in, I was like, already having a first heat stroke. And I was like, what is. I was like, bro, this is next level because it's through sand, it's through dirt, it's through.
Chris Williamson
It's the same thing.
Jesse James West
Same exact thing, same mile, just the course is ten times harder, right? And he. Last time he did it, it was a competition. So you kind of have that, like, let me chase you feeling this time. He's just chilling. He's smoking a cigar, drinking his whiskey, calling the walkie talkie guy next to me talking. And I'm like, I. I told him, I said, I will finish this. And this goes back to my, like, almost stupid belief in myself to where I do things that hurt myself because I'm like, I'm not gonna fail. I'm not gonna stop. So I psychotically do this for like, let's say three quarters of the mile. And I get to the sand. It's like first half just gravel and dirt and stuff. Hard, but not the worst sand at like, last four miles. And I. I get to this point where I am now full on having a heat stroke. I'm freezing. It's 112 degrees outside. Makes no sense. I've sweat all water out. Now I'm covered in white because, like, my, like, electrolytes are just on me. And I'm like, I'M like, I'm dying. I look at their. Their producers and stuff. I'm like, bro, I'm done.
Chris Williamson
Were you allowed water?
Jesse James West
I was allowed to drink water. They were pouring a ton of water on me, but, like, nothing was working. And I look at their producer, and I'm like, I'm done. I'm going to. They said, if you unclip, you're done. I'm about to unclip. And they're like, don't do it. And I'm like, I'm stupid. I'm good at being told that what to do, like, and still doing it. And I'm like, okay. You said don't do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to keep going. I go. I go. Next heat stroke on the ground, laying there for 30 minutes, I'm like, my soul has left my body. I know I don't have sweat left in my body. I'm covered. I lick my lips. It's salty. Like, I needed some of this stuff. Great plug.
Chris Williamson
Yep.
Jesse James West
But I get to a point where I'm like. I'm like, Dude, I have 0.15 left of a mile. Like, I have to just finish this same thing in the marathon. If I don't, I'm just gonna be pissed. Once I feel better, I'll be pissed.
Chris Williamson
Yeah.
Jesse James West
And I somehow slug my way to the end. Five steps, drop. Five steps, drop. Five steps, drop. I'm, like, dead in the face. I get there, I cross the finish line, just collapse on the ground. And he's like, yeah, there you go, brother. And he's like, yeah, yeah, boy. He says that. So he's like. He's like, light at the. He has all these sayings. They're just psychotic. And I'm letting. And safe to say it took me four hours. Four hours to go a mile. And that was the most painful thing I've ever done in my life. So when I did the marathon, I just kept thinking about that, and I was like, that was four hours of way more pain. This is four hours of a different pain. My legs have never had so much lactic acid in my body, but my upper body is perfectly fine. My mind can push through this, but with Liver King, it's like, your arms are tired, your legs are tired. Your soul. You can't even feel your soul because you're so dehydrated. Was a crazy experience.
Chris Williamson
What have you learned about resilience to physical discomfort from the challenges and things that you've done?
Jesse James West
I've learned that you can push your body so much farther than you'd ever think. Something that I, that I learned at Lehigh. We had a Navy SEAL course come to us. And so I hated everything about Lehigh School. The guys were cool, the coaches were always nice to me, but like the program didn't want to do it. All that stuff sucked when they brought in Navy Seals and made us stay up 50 hours. Favorite thing I was, I was depressed at the time. Loved it. Way better than whatever the hell we were doing before. So it's like this weird. Everyone else hated it. I was like, I don't know why. That was the best part of my month. And we do this. Oh, dude, I'm like remembering. This shit's crazy. Okay. I'm like 18. We're. I'm like, I'm like 180 pounds right now. I was probably almost 200. Just meat stick, bro. Four, 500 calories a day. And they make us do perfect jumping jacks, perfect sit ups, perfect push ups. One person messes up, everyone is required to call that one person out. Basically make, make them feel like. And then everyone runs because of it. We do that for four hours straight. They say, go home, get one hour of sleep. We go home, we fucking lay down, we get right back up. We're in a pool at 3am they say, put your sweatsuits on. Full crew neck, full sweatpants. These sweatpants are like double XL that we're wearing. And they're like, jump in the pool. And I'm like, what the. And they, and, and they're like, if you can't swim, go to the shallow end. Like dead ass. They said this to us and I was like, someone's gonna die. We go in and they're like, okay, we're going to do the push ups, the sit ups to everything on the outside of the pool. We're soaking wet. We're doing them for calling out people, for not doing it right. And you're, you're held accountable if you don't, if you, if they see you see someone and say. And you don't go, hey, Johnny over here didn't do his pushup. Right? Now you're, now you get called out. So it's, everybody's calling out each other and just saying like, you suck. You're horrible. Very traumatizing for some people. You just see that the faces on these people were, I'm going to die. And then we go in the pool and we're like, okay, now we're going to do basically like a deep end simulation Thing where you have to take off your sweatshirt, you have to switch with somebody, and then put it on. It's a. It's some Navy SEAL training. Don't know the name of it, but wild experience that you tread. You're treading, and you're in, like, picture, like, so much resistance on your legs, and you're like, 40 pounds, 20 pounds heavier with this, like, weighted clothes on you. And you're trying to swim, and everyone's like, everyone. You're trying to, like, hey, you got this. You got this. You're talking each other up, and they're like, all right, everyone take off your sweatshirt, and you have to go on a ready, ready, attack call. So, like, everyone's on the exact same page, and you take it off, and you're treading. You're treading one arm. You have to hold it up with one arm until everybody is ready, you know? And it takes two minutes at least to get these things off. It's, like, stuck to you. Kids don't know what they're doing. Some kids literally are being held up by other people. I shouldn't say kids. We're, like, adults at this time. And we're treading, we're treading. And then it's like, ready, ready, attack. Switch with somebody. You switch now. Ready, Attack. Put it on. So think of, like, a wet rag, like, stuck together, and you're, like, trying to, like, find the opening, and you're treading still for, like, we're at, like, minute eight of treading, and then we put it on, and we're, like, all just dying. Some kids are near drowning, like, genuinely just two people holding their arms up, and they're like. Their head is barely above the water, and if they don't complete it, restart. We did, like, four rounds of this thing, and they would. They look at the team captain go, how quick can you do it? And they wanted to push the hell out of us. And the team captain says something like two minutes. Okay, do it again. They look at him again. You didn't. You didn't. 150. How quick can you do it? 130. They're like, all right, 130. You did 125. How quick are you doing? All right, 120. We do it. We get all the way down to, like, 1. 115, 120. And we're all. We've been treading water for, like, 40 freaking minutes. Because in between, maybe you get, like, a quick. Put the shoulder on something, but you're back. Crazy experience. And that is pre YouTube challenge. So, like, doing that definitely showed me, like, you're capable of so much. Those seals that day were like, listen, when you think you're done, when you think you're done, not just like, ah, I'm tired. I'm done. When you think you're truly done, you have 40 left in the tank. And you need to tell yourself that every single time when you're on the field, when you think you're done, 40% left, keep pushing. And I was like, damn, I'm gonna live by that. And, like, obviously I'm not a Navy SEAL by any means or anything, but, like, that, that. That stuck with me. And when I get in those moments, I think there's still 40. Like, that still sticks to me. 40% left. When I'm at my marathon and I'm at mile, mile 24, still 40% left, sadly.
Chris Williamson
Yeah. I wonder again, how many people would benefit from really formative experiences like that. You know, it's such an opportunity for you to do it as a college athlete, but most people get out of that. You know, I hear about these Alpha Boot Camp things that are happening. I know the owners, and there's a bunch of them. Bedros has been on the show Julian, if you know him, and it's kind of easy to mock online because the storyline tells you too much. It's just way too easy of a headline where someone says, man pays $10,000 to have dude with beard and full sleeve shout at him while he doesn't sleep. You know, it's a funny headline, but when you actually look at what those kinds of formative experiences maybe teach you, and the fact that you got to learn that at 18.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
The reason that it's a bit. That people think it's a bit cringe, and it might be cringe. I'm not too sure. The reason that people think it's a bit cringe is why are you, at 45, needing this? You go, well, what if you've never had it before?
Jesse James West
Exactly.
Chris Williamson
What if you've never pushed yourself to that place before? Normal person, at what point in your life are you going beyond that 40% line that you think is your normal one? Even someone that runs a marathon, if they're preparing for six months or a full year for it, it should be a relatively sure thing. Unless you've got some sort of weird pathology and your heart blows up halfway. It's difficult and impressive, but relatively. And then you go, okay, what about an Iron Man? Well, okay, even with that, the point is that you're training to be able to do the thing.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
It would be almost like.
Jesse James West
I see what you're saying. Doing. Doing something that you're almost not prepared for. Torture yourself so much that you will gain a much more valuable lesson than if you prepared for it.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, of course.
Jesse James West
Which is crazy.
Chris Williamson
Yes.
Jesse James West
And going through that, I'm very great. This is where the moments where I then look back at my dad setting me up in these situations where I'm like, thank you so much for. Even though it was rocky at times, thank you so much for making me go do this. Because there's a reason I'm in the position I am. There's a reason I can handle so much, and there's a reason that I can push myself so much. And it all falls back to being in the rain, the hail, the snow, him throwing the ball a million times. And I'm like, why are we doing this? It all makes sense now. And the way Liver King is. Is why. It's why I respect him so much. And yes, he has had his scandals, but as a man, and you could argue this because he lied. Whatever. As a man that I know as. He's like a friend of mine, I see his sons, and then I see the way he is with them and how it was similar to my father and the way that he pushes them and the way that my dad pushed me. And I'm. And I look at. I looked. I told them and I said. I said, I know it might not make sense now what your dad is doing and how you got to do the barbarian. You got to, you know, be strict with your diet or whatever. I'm like, it's going to make. Give it 10 years. You're going to thank him. And I. And I promise. I promise they will. I won't say I promise, but 99%, there might be 1% chance that they will. And that's like, one of those things where doing hard things is so necessary. And I think Even if you're 45, I mean, what age did Warren Buffett become a billionaire or a millionaire? Wasn't like 40 or 50 years. It took a long time. Oh, let's make fun of his freaking self for why weren't you a millionaire younger bro? Like, no, he's a billionaire now. Like, it doesn't matter what time you start, what age you start. I think the fact is that not everyone has the opportunity to go to a D1 lacrosse program on a scholarship and have a dad push them and care for them that much. That he wants to put him in that scenario where you end up going do those things and learn those lessons at 18. So it's unrealistic.
Chris Williamson
Some people do have to learn lessons in adulthood that they should have learned in childhood, and we all do.
Jesse James West
There's a million lessons to learn.
Chris Williamson
And it's kind of, it is very strange in a world where we want people to be more resilient. There is an odd amount of sort of teasing and pity and mocking for people that take stuff seriously when they get into later life. And you go, okay, it's a, it not far off. The developmental equivalent of mocking a fat person going to the gym.
Jesse James West
Yep.
Chris Williamson
You go. The exact thing that they need is the thing that they're trying to do. I partnered with Function Health because I wanted a better way to track what's happening inside of my body. They run over 100 lab tests each year covering heart, hormones, nutrients, thyroid, and even detecting 50 types of cancer at stage one. That's five times more testing than a regular physical. And all results are charted over your lifetime and explained in one simple dashboard. Lab testing like this would usually cost thousands, but with function, it's only $500. You get a streamlined evidence based system that tracks your health trends over time and gives you real data to optimize your lifestyle. I rely on Function because it's evidence based and run by a team of expert physicians so that you can trust that the data and insights you receive are scientifically sound and unbiased. Plus, Dr. Andrew Huberman is a scientific advisor and Dr. Mark Hyman is the chief medical officer. Function has a wait list of over 300,000 people, but every Monday they open a few spots for Modern Wisdom listeners. So right now, if you go to the link in the description below or head to function health.com modern wisdom, you can bypass that wait list today. That's function health.com modern wisdom. Speaking of fat person going to the gym, you competed recently.
Jesse James West
You called me a fat person before. I'm just kidding.
Chris Williamson
Leaner, I was.
Jesse James West
Less lean.
Chris Williamson
True. You competed.
Jesse James West
Yes.
Chris Williamson
What was that process like? What's it feel like to be that lean?
Jesse James West
Terrible. So I'll, I'll explain once again. This is sort of a scenario where it's. I tend to do things in a much shorter period of time than you're supposed to. One, because it's like a new challenge that I think is different than everyone else's challenge that maybe I just am drawn to. But then secondly, I think it's, it's more interesting for videos and real Life and more realistic for me, I can't devote a year to training. I could, but like I realistically, I got other 3 other 90 day or 3 other 30 day videos I want to make this year. So I can't devote a year to training for a marathon. I only got 30 days. And then when that's done, I got the next 30 day challenge at waking up at 5am and you can't do multiple. You can't do multiple at once. Unless you want to be. So restate the question. Sorry.
Chris Williamson
What does it feel like to be that lean?
Jesse James West
What does it feel like to be that lean so in the process of.
Chris Williamson
Losing that much fat in such a short space of time?
Jesse James West
So you look at like a bodybuilding prep. It's 16 weeks. I did mine in, let's say eight. I'm always pretty lean. I never really bulk past like 15 body fat. The first week or two is, you know, like you're like, all right, it's tough, you're doing your cardio, whatever, maybe you're tired. But the, the last like three weeks were so, so tiring and like emotionally stealing in a way where I literally felt nothing. Like I was a corpse. You could look at him in the eyes and you could be like, you're thinking nothing right now. You have no emotion. And everyone experiences prep different. Some people look at it in a very beautiful way and they love seeing the changes in their body. For me, it was tough seeing the changes. Like dated. Looking back at photos, damn, I was shredded. But then in the moment, it's very odd because you look at yourself and you pinch the side of your body and I'm like, I'm not even that lean. I'm so skinny right now. Like, I don't look like Seum. I look, I look stupid.
Chris Williamson
I'm.
Jesse James West
Yeah, I'm posing and my legs are. My legs aren't even touching, they're so skinny. You know, it's like you start really picking at all these negative things in your head. And if I wasn't making content around it, I think that definitely helped keep my mind off that sort of dysmorphic thought. And it was like, okay, we have a mission here. We're making awesome videos. At the same time, I can focus on that more. But it definitely, it took a huge toll on my relationship. I literally like every single emotion I just didn't have. Like, I couldn't feel happy, I couldn't hunger, presumably. Honestly, I don't really deal with too much hunger, which is like a gift. It's just Lack of energy. I feel like lethargic of. Of. I feel like I have no. My blood sugar is low. What is it? Hypoglycemic. I feel very hypoglycemic all the time. And I was like, this is just brutal. Just get to the end date. The show is a very fun experience. It's very rewarding. It's awesome being on stage. You, you know, yelling, most muscular posing against people. Awesome experience. Highly recommend everybody do it maybe once or at least I think everybody should get pretty lean once to experience what it's like to one, look at your best and two, really see the different type of hard work it takes to get to the next level of body conditioning. Because my level. And then there's even so much farther that Seum goes and every other competitor out there, I just name him because I feel like, what do you think.
Chris Williamson
You got down to?
Jesse James West
Greg Doucette said 6%. Okay, so even, let's say six and a half to be friendly.
Chris Williamson
Yep. Um, pretty lean.
Jesse James West
Pretty lean. And as a natural, my hormones were tanked like, like 200 ng test. 200 free. Like, oh my God, dude. Thankfully still works.
Chris Williamson
Come back.
Jesse James West
Still works. Don't worry. But the feeling of 200 test is absolutely horrible. And that's like one reason why I just like don't have a desire to compete anymore slash, for a very long time.
Chris Williamson
What was the hardest part of it?
Jesse James West
I feel like accepting, you know what it is. The hardest part is that same anxiety fight where these. You're like, I'm so uncomfortable. And you, your body like wants to tense internally and fight this uncomfortability.
Chris Williamson
Feeling rather sympathetically activated.
Jesse James West
Yeah. Rather than just like, let's like I've talked to Chris about this recently and he was like, you have to just know that this is your choice. You can stop if you want. And it almost. I feel like he has that like where he can turn that. That internal battle against it. And a lot of other successful bodybuilders have that ability. I haven't learned it yet.
Chris Williamson
It's the same as you were saying. I've got to get up at 6 in the morning. I've got to get up at 6 in the morning as opposed to. I'm just.
Jesse James West
It's happening.
Chris Williamson
I'm just going to get up. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's so funny, man. I think it's. It's cool to see you're like an elite normal. You know what I mean? You're kind of a representation for. Nobody looks and goes Sebum Genetic freak, once in a generation bodybuilder with a fantastic background and the perfect nutrition and a little bit of hormonal help and all the rest of it. So when I ask him, he's on the show this week, when I speak to him about what prep feels like, what theory of mind have I got to know what it's like to be Chris Bumstead the body?
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
None. But I feel like you're just elite normal. You're just a great way to put it. Yeah, dude.
Jesse James West
We got to take my teams behind there. We got to take notes. And that's going to help. That's going to help. Like ideas.
Chris Williamson
The best of the normies.
Jesse James West
Because if you think about it, it's like. That's like I did an elite, normal thing. The marathon elite normal thing. Wake up at 5am for 30 days. It's not really that much elite. That's more normal. Cold plunge every day.
Chris Williamson
Having a kid.
Jesse James West
Yeah. Or we had a puppy in the same thing.
Chris Williamson
Yep.
Jesse James West
But yeah, I think. I think another experience that really stands out to me. This is kind of tangent, but an experience I want to talk about that truly changed my life was with Wim Hof. And that was. Oh, my God, that was such like a magical experience doing that in person. Because we know what the Wim Hof method does, I'm sure. Have you ever done the breathing?
Chris Williamson
Yeah, of course.
Jesse James West
So we know. We know how good that breathe, that breath work, feels the ice bath. You get endorphins. But imagine doing it with a dude that's like the gun creator of it almost. You know what I mean? And he's not kindest person, really. I felt so like safe with him. And I come in, first thing we do, he's like, let's.
Chris Williamson
Was this Finland?
Jesse James West
Netherlands. Netherlands.
Chris Williamson
They're all the same.
Jesse James West
I'm like, where have I been?
Chris Williamson
Area. I shouldn't say that. There's loads.
Jesse James West
You're not.
Chris Williamson
Listen in Finland. But did he do that thing where you have to penguin dive off the.
Jesse James West
He. He did it. I didn't. I was like, that's a little extreme. That water is got to be like 31 and 0.9 degrees Fahrenheit. But yeah, we. First thing he does, dive in the cold water. I'm like, oh. Oh, my God. And I'm like a. I'm a little familiar. I've been taking cold showers to prepare for this video. And I'm like, all right, we're in it. Let's go. And then we do. We do some abs, we do some Breath work. And when I want to talk about the breath work, because that was the most like spiritual awakening moment I've ever had in my life. He does four, three, four rounds of breath work. One minute, one and a half, two, two and a half, three. And you hold your breath for those lengths of period, the time period that I just mentioned. And we get to the second to last round and I'm at two, two and a half. I'm feeling so safe with him and I'm like, you know, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna like not fight it. And you could have that anxiety about this, but just, I'm here, let's make it happen. Hold my breath. Two and a half minutes go by that man on the dot. My sister was there timing the. The two and a half on the dot. He goes, and time. And my sister's like on the. Like she didn't even say anything. It was 2, 229.9. And. And I was like this dude, another level. And then we do the three minute and I hold my breath for three minutes straight. It feels like 30 seconds. It flies by. I open my eyes and I have just this insane euphoric feeling. I don't know if I was dying. And maybe that's what you're supposed to feel when you die. I had this insane euphoric feeling. I open my eyes, I see my sister, I have my cameraman, I have whim and like this, this feeling of just purity of love. And I'm just like gratitude and nothing else mattered. It was like. It was almost like I was like born into this exact moment and I knew nothing about the universe and it was just how you're supposed to feel. It was crazy. And that was a very life changing moment. I've done the breathing a few times since then. I probably need to get back into it, but that and the ice bath, like the man's onto something. And I don't know what happened inside my brain, but that was the most content and like happy feeling. Like a different type of happy. It was just. I had to share that. It was a crazy experience.
Chris Williamson
It really does clear your mind in a crazy way if you do some forced breath work. Wim Hof breathing, whatever you want to call it. The last time. Have you ever done it and passed out?
Jesse James West
No, I've seen people.
Chris Williamson
Okay, so I've pushed it a little bit hard in a couple of breathwork classes in Austin. And you sort of come back around and you've got whoever the facilitator is with that hand on your chest, sort of chilling you out. And they do something with your neck. Maybe it's to do with your nerve here or the blood flow here. I'm not really too sure. But I always see the same fucking cat. Every time I do it, this fucking cat pops up. It's just this face looking at me.
Jesse James West
What?
Chris Williamson
I don't know what's. I don't know what's.
Jesse James West
The DMT being released in your brain?
Chris Williamson
Maybe it is. Would you. Are you ever going to pivot into psychedelic bro era? I did Ayahuasca every day. I haven't.
Jesse James West
I did Iowa. That's Connor Murphy right there.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, well, exactly. Drinking semen, so haven't tried that yet.
Jesse James West
So psychedelics. I have friends that have done it. I have people that are close to my life that have done it, and no judgment whatsoever. Cool. Do whatever you want. For me, I feel that I almost have a little bit of an enlightened mindset as is that I feel like I've awakened from reaching a point of peace. When I left Lehi in 2018, when I was 18 years old and I quit, I had this, like, super spiritual awakening moment where I could not describe it, but I could, like, sense your energy in, like, the most pure way. I'm like, you are full. Like, I don't. I couldn't just. I don't know what language I needed to speak it, but I'm like, you're full. You're half. You're like. I sounded. I thought I was crazy, dude. I probably was. And I feel like I. That sort of opened my mind and like, well, maybe. Maybe the mind is. Is capable of just naturally experiencing all these crazy phenomenon things. And I feel like I also have this. This undoubtedly belief in myself that maybe a psychedelic would open up for somebody else and, like, gratitude, like, they'd open up. And I feel like I have a good base of that and I don't want to with it. So that's like my mindset of same.
Chris Williamson
With the SSRIs in.
Jesse James West
Exactly. It's like my mind, I'm happy. I love my life. Like, beautiful fiance, family's healthy, got a dog, got a house. Like, my life is awesome. I. I truly am grateful. My fans are amazing. They support me, all that stuff. So it's like one of those things where it's like, if I do this, there's a chance that it goes there. There's always. I've. You hear the horror stories of it going south, and I'm like, why would I mess this up. Everything's good.
Chris Williamson
Riding so high.
Jesse James West
If I, I find a need where I need an awakening. I don't know, maybe. But like, I also like, I've literally never done anything stronger than smoking pot when I was like a teenager like once. And I've never done any, any brain type of. Not. I've never touched at all, never done cocaine, nothing at all. I probably will die never doing it, which I'm fine with. But I just, I'm very like protective of where my mind is and the trajectory of how my mind develops naturally and stuff where I'm like, I don't need, I don't need something to alter to. I don't need more. I'm. I'm already, I'm on that ride on my own. I don't need that kick. Maybe, maybe I'm. Maybe I'd be a billionaire if I took something crazy, you know, maybe you'll.
Chris Williamson
Turn into Conor Murphy and have a.
Jesse James West
It's one of those things you don't.
Chris Williamson
Want to risk, you know, Total breakdown. Yeah, just going back to the getting lean thing. There was this news article I saw recently. YouTube is to limit recommendations of certain health and fitness videos to teenagers, including those which may idealize certain body types. It says 13 to 17 year old users will still be able to search for and view fitness related content, but will not be encouraged into repeated viewing of similar videos. YouTube says it is acting because of concerns that repeated exposure to such material can lead young people to develop negative beliefs about themselves. The platform says this will no longer be offered for teens when they can view certain types of content, including videos that compare physical features and idealizes some types over others. Videos idealizing specific fitness levels or body weights. Videos displaying social aggression in the form of non contact fights and intimidation. The measures were being taken after its Youth and Families advisory committee found that teens are more likely than adults to form negative beliefs about themselves when seeing repeated messages about ideal standards in content they consume online. What do you think of that?
Jesse James West
I think it's very stupid because. And if YouTube's watching, I love you guys as a platform, but this is dumb because think about it like this, okay? Fitness might influence a teenager to do steroids. Let's say I have a video coming out on that. But the music videos that are dudes swinging guns or I don't know, idolizing weird things that like there's always conspiracy behind like crazy, you know, music videos and stuff. And I don't care what it looks like. But that can just as well influence a teenager to Go try smoking pot or go hang out with the wrong crowd or something. Like you can be influenced by literally anything. And also, I think this is why I don't think it's going to happen. Because the amount of money that fitness CPMs in, in, in fitness are, are. Well, they're not the, the best, but they are probably one of the top.
Chris Williamson
They're not tech or finance.
Jesse James West
They're not finance, but they're right there, dude, like right below it on, on the next year.
Chris Williamson
So many supplement CPGs.
Jesse James West
Exactly. So YouTube be shooting themselves in the foot because there's so much content that's just good, healthy.
Chris Williamson
I wonder how much is derived from 13 to 17 year olds, age brackets. That's a good point.
Jesse James West
Or everyone's just gonna lie about their age and nothing's gonna change and they're gonna make new accounts.
Chris Williamson
I do think you're right that I.
Jesse James West
Think the advertising is way too, they're way too lucrative on advertising on these videos. I mean, dude, I'm getting like 5 million views. 1 million to 5 million views on every video. You're going to cut my ads. Good. Good for you. You're going to make no money. I'm going to go fricking start a Patreon.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, yeah. Like the negative beliefs thing seems odd given that we just went through a body positivity movement that was glorifying people being big. So it's okay. So not only are we glorifying fat people, we're also now limiting your ability to see people who might actually be fit. I mean, think about, just think about the entire generation. Mine, into yours, I was the start of it with sort of ziz Matt Ogus then bleeding down, I guess into the Matt does fitness, sort of Mike Thurston type stuff. Now into your era. All of us were brought into this because of YouTube.
Jesse James West
The weird thing is, is that one, I've asked my YouTube rep, like, I'm like, please tell me this is, this is false.
Chris Williamson
And he's like, oh, so you brought this up?
Jesse James West
I straight up sent it to YouTube, one of the employees. And I was like, there's no way this is true. Right? Like you. I'm like, and if you, if it becomes true, you need to tell me asap. He didn't think it's like real. He was like, he said, first thing he said was cap. And then I was like, okay, what color hat? I'm kidding. That's stupid joke. And so he says, like, he thinks that. And then I send, I sent him that article that you just Read. And I'm like, are you sure? And he's like, I just. I don't know. He's like, it just sounds like it wouldn't be like plot, like plausible, but hypothetically, let's say it does. This is what's going to happen to the fitness industry. There's going to be a huge divide of people that I don't want to say that they're not intelligent enough, but they're not, let's say, social networking aware enough to adapt, to be able to bypass it. They're gonna be like, oh, this I'm gonna keep doing what I want and it's just gonna hurt themselves. It's a really dumb mindset.
Chris Williamson
How many people that are 13 to 17 are watching your videos, dude?
Jesse James West
As I get bigger, it's getting more and more interesting. There's like kids that I'll be at the grocery store and they're like, I see you on Tick Tock and stuff. And I'm like, all right, I'm watching. I'm like, what videos are you watching, bro?
Chris Williamson
Skinny.
Jesse James West
But it's like one of Those things where 1. I find it hard to believe that'll happen. And if it does, I have the unbelievable and I have the believability in myself that it's like, I'm good. I'll pivot, bro.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, I. I don't know how big your 13 to 17 year old fan base is, but I don't know. It's an interesting, it's an interesting challenge because I would have been very. I would have been very disempowered, I think, you know, watching YouTube and seeing fitness advice from the Internet, it's also, it's such woolly language.
Jesse James West
What are you gonna do? Like Jeff Nippard? Like, is Jeff Nipper gonna be censored?
Chris Williamson
Evidence based lifting saying that, it's like.
Jesse James West
Okay, then in every video I'm just gonna feature, I'm gonna call a doctor and say, this is evidence. Right? Yes. Thank you. There. Check. Send in Furview again. Like, there's gonna be. There's a rule, there's a way around it. That's how I see it.
Chris Williamson
What, you've done a million videos with Ronnie Coleman?
Jesse James West
Yes.
Chris Williamson
I get sad when I see him.
Jesse James West
Okay.
Chris Williamson
I. I mean, I know he's still got the sort of yeah, buddy thing, but he's also largely a man that's crippled.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
You know, is it tough being around him?
Jesse James West
It was something definitely like, to get used to at first because I've shot five videos with him total. Some with him, you know, And I. I was a young LA before Gymshark, and I would be at events with him. Always love seeing him. There's been a few times where it's been, like, genuinely, like, I felt. I felt very bad. And the few times where it's like, I completely forget. And I think almost he's forgetting. He's just, like, having. He's just Ronnie, you know, he's very authentic, which is awesome. I have a blast with him every time I see him. The one time where I was like, damn, bro. This is, like, kind of brutal, like, to see, because, I mean, he's a legend. He was obviously not at one point and fully thriving. And it was when. It was when we were at his gym in Texas, in Dallas, Metro Flex Arlington. And the. The equipment is so damn congested there, and he trains there all the time, so clearly he, like, does not mind. But his. His inability to maneuver from just, like, one area to the next, and everybody's, like, pausing and waiting.
Chris Williamson
It's not exactly disabled access.
Jesse James West
Oh, not at all. It was, like, horrible setup for him. But, like, obviously he is his home bas where he likes to be, so he feels good. But I was like, I, like, Like, do you. Do you. Do you want to help them? Do you want to, like, hey, you need help? Get it.
Chris Williamson
Is it patronizing?
Jesse James West
Exactly. I don't want. I don't want to feel. I always. My biggest thing with anybody I'm ever with. I don't care if you're Dwayne the Rock Johnson or Joe Schmo down the street. I always go into my shoots or, like, meeting people with just like, what's up, bro? Like, there's no, like, no difference, because I. No, I. I don't. I don't want anyone to ever feel like I look at them in a certain way or I'm. I'm idolizing over idolizing them, and that bothers them. Everyone idolizes me, whatever. Like, you know what I mean? So I wish just. He's Ronnie. He's a dude, you know, whatever. So I. I didn't want to push boundaries too far. And then one time, another time, we were on a boat and stuff. We're on a yacht. It was Ronnie's yacht in Dubai. He was just chilling downstairs, and he was very content. And I was like, ronnie, you want anything? He's very chill, chilling. And I'm. Obviously, I don't know what's going through his head. And it's one of those things, like, you know, back in the day, maybe he'd be up there fist pumping. And he was always like a very extroverted person. Still is to a degree. But I think it's one of those things where he. When you talk to him and you talk to him about. I asked him, do you have any regrets, any regrets in like, what you've done? And he's like, no, no.
Chris Williamson
Do you think that's true?
Jesse James West
I mean, he tells me his only regret is that he didn't go for seven or eight reps on his 800 pound squat. And then he says, yeah, buddy. And I'm like, I believe it. But I think maybe you never know, you know, I think you should have.
Chris Williamson
How much pain is he in day to day? Do you know?
Jesse James West
I've heard many things. I just. I don't know.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, because I'd heard that he said my pain is always at 8 out of 10 and I take the maximum dose of whatever that painkiller is. That's super, super.
Jesse James West
He's doing a lot of stem cells.
Chris Williamson
Okay.
Jesse James West
And he says with every treatment it gets better and better and better.
Chris Williamson
That's good.
Jesse James West
So, you know.
Chris Williamson
Yeah, it's. It is, it is uncomfortable to see, dude. And it's so odd as well because you've got Jay Cutler, who is, as far as I can tell, just perfectly functional.
Jesse James West
We were with Phil Heath, talked to him about it.
Chris Williamson
Phil Heath today.
Jesse James West
Phil Heath, healthy again.
Chris Williamson
Playing basketball.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
Dicking around.
Jesse James West
So I think that's the importance of realizing. I mean, right now I have a slip disc in my back and like in. I'm not able to squat. Not. I mean, I could if I like, gun to my head, but like, shouldn't squat, shouldn't deadlift, all that stuff. Yeah, but it's those type of things where you know when people say, like, careful squatting, careful deadlifting, you're going to mess up your knees, you're going to mess up your back and you're like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm invincible. Until you wake up and you're like, shit, that hurt. I just, I broke some of your.
Chris Williamson
Backs and knees, man. Backs and knees are two things that you just got to be super, super sensitive with. You know, the. The end of my hardcore fitness career was two bulging discs in my back.
Jesse James West
Really?
Chris Williamson
And then I just thought, right, okay, I'm. It took. It was uncomfortable for maybe three or four years for me to realize, okay, you can't do what you used to do responsibly. You can do it, but you're just rolling.
Jesse James West
What'd you do to what? Did you fix it? Just stop doing things like that.
Chris Williamson
So Stu McGill's big three heard that? Yep. So you should speak to Stu about back pain. I can intro you if you want. Please, he'd love to speak to you. He is the number one lower back pain specialist on the planet. He's done a lot of these studies, the original studies at Waterloo, that much of sort of back pain science was built on. I get the sense that the field is continuing to progress. Now, I haven't spoken to him about my stuff in a little while. Tapped into him before I went and did stem cells in Medellin last year.
Jesse James West
I was just about to ask you, have you ever done stem cells?
Chris Williamson
I did stem cells. What's your experience? Like, bioaccelerator.
Jesse James West
Okay. I know them.
Chris Williamson
So Colombia. Yep. Yep. Medellin. Psychologically neutral. Quite an enjoyable experience. The service is very good. Physically, very rough.
Jesse James West
Really.
Chris Williamson
So for me, because I got sight injections, so I had intra articular into the shoulder capsule and my rotator cuff. There's no anesthetic into the quad tendon above and below the patella, and then into my Achilles that I ruptured straight into the tendon. So the ones that I got. I got every lumbar, facet joint down my back. I got one intradiscal injection into one of the bulging discs. One of them was so bad that they couldn't. They weren't even prepared to do it. The other one they did, but you're under general anesthetic for that. So you just go to sleep, you wake up and you're like, oh, sweet. That's all been done. But the ones in my knee and the one in my shoulder was maybe an 8 out of 10 pain. The one in my knee, I'm bouncing off the bed screaming. The nurse left, this nurse who's conditioned at seeing this stuff because it's a tiny little tendon like that that this guy is trying to fit viscous fluid into.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
And you think, oh, dude, at least that's the pain over and done with. And then the inflammation response comes.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
And it is. I had to walk like the Tin man out of fucking whatever that movie is. And I can't bend my knees. Oh, for days I was there. Do you know Aljamain Sterling? He was the bantamweight or flyweight, whatever, the super lightweight thing in the ufc. He was the champion. And he got his wrist stunt when he was there. He got his neck and his wrist stunned. So he was my lab partner, my clinic partner for the Week.
Jesse James West
Yep.
Chris Williamson
He. His wrists hurt so much, he couldn't pick up a phone.
Jesse James West
Oh.
Chris Williamson
So the weight of a phone was so much that it caused his pains. His wrists means a ton of pain, so basically pretty uncomfortable. But it's a unique category of pain because you know that it's in service of making you better. So almost all pain, you put your hand over a flame, and you know that you're going to need a skin graft. You break your leg, and you wonder whether or not you're going to ever be able to walk the same again. But this pain, as long as you have faith in the doctors, which I did, you go, this is kind of like the suffering that you go through before something great happens on the other side of it. So, again, you know, one of the themes today has been the story that you tell yourself largely determines your experience of the thing that you're going through. So the story I'm telling myself is I'm screaming, bouncing off this bed. But there was no fear. It wasn't wrapped in terror or worry or anxiety. It's just straight pain. I'm all right. I'll. I'll shout and scream and call the doctor a couple of names. Uh, so that was interesting for me. Stu McGill's big three. I did for a long time. I mean, I've done thousands of hours of that one routine that he came up with. I've done it around the world. I've done it on a paddle board. I've done it in hotel rooms. I've done it in my room.
Jesse James West
You can show me.
Chris Williamson
Done it everywhere. I can show you. So that's helped. And then his main thing is he causes people, advises people to keep a neutral spine. So he calls it Spinal Hygiene. So the book is a Back Mechanic by Stu. It's a little bit expensive. It's about 60 bucks, but it's really good. And in it, what he's advising is don't bend at the waist when you need to tie your shoes. If you're brushing your teeth at the basin. Most people just hinge from the hips, but you can actually support by having one hand to brush your teeth, and the other can actually be relieving a little bit of the weight by putting your hand on your thigh or putting your hand on the basin. And he's got an advice for how you get up and get down off the ground without going into spinal flexion. So the whole goal is to just get your back to chill out.
Jesse James West
Wow.
Chris Williamson
But it's a very. Especially if you had. Did you Have a fallen back attack? Was it a slipped disc where you were locked in?
Jesse James West
No, no.
Chris Williamson
Okay.
Jesse James West
I like woke up and just like could not bend backwards.
Chris Williamson
Okay. So if you even going through that, his suggested protocol is just so slow and, and kind of frustrating. But now I have no pain. I can sit and stand for as long as I want. I don't deadlift. But step ups lunges, reverse lunges, walking lunges, leg press.
Jesse James West
Wow.
Chris Williamson
All of that is fine. And I'm sure I probably could squat if I wanted. I just think, I think I can achieve, I think I can achieve the same gains without doing that. So. Yeah, I, I pivot. One of the other things I was interested in asking you, you've worked out with a variety of non typically fit people, like okay. Inmates and gang members and stuff like that.
Jesse James West
Yeah.
Chris Williamson
Who are some of the sort of secret fittest guys that you've been around that you wouldn't have thought of?
Jesse James West
Construction workers. Right, dude. I mean, I found the strongest ones that exist, basically.
Chris Williamson
Where do you find strong construction workers?
Jesse James West
Ah, you hire a really good producer.
Chris Williamson
Right.
Jesse James West
And on Instagram they were. They do construction and they were freaks of nature. Definitely on some sauce. Definitely not natty.
Chris Williamson
Okay.
Jesse James West
I'd say another one would be the ex convicts. I mean that's like stereotypical. They work out a ton. They were very. They're. They're more just jacked.
Chris Williamson
Big hands on the construction workers, I imagine.
Jesse James West
Monstrous hands, you know. You know what's really, who has really good strength is like arm wrestlers. At least their arms like ins. Like the, the. The sheer strength of Devin Laird's hands. I tried to. And even David laid one against him. Like two hands. You go, dude, you're never getting anywhere. Arm wrestlers are built differently. Like their tendons have just like calcified probably from all the scar tissue. I did one arm wrestling competition. I could. I was walking like a T. Rex for like a week because I could not move my arms. And for them to do hours and hours and hours, I can't imagine what their tendons look like.
Chris Williamson
Dude, that's so cool. Jesse James west, ladies and gentlemen. Dude, I appreciate the heck out of you. Where should people go going to keep up to date, guys.
Jesse James West
Check out the YouTube channel Jesse James west and stay relentless.
Chris Williamson
Heck yeah. Thanks, man.
Jesse James West
Thank you, bro. Thank you for having me. Seriously.
Chris Williamson
We did it.
Jesse James West
All right. You guys got my check.
Chris Williamson
Get away.
Podcast Summary: Modern Wisdom Episode #866 - Jesse James West on Staying Disciplined When Times Get Tough
Introduction
In episode #866 of Modern Wisdom, host Chris Williamson welcomes YouTuber and athlete Jesse James West to discuss the challenges of maintaining discipline during difficult times. The conversation delves into Jesse’s personal journey, his struggles with sports, mental health, and his relentless pursuit of fitness and content creation. This summary captures the key discussions, insights, and conclusions drawn from their in-depth conversation.
1. The Foundation of Relentlessness
Jesse James West attributes his relentless work ethic to his father, a blue-collar man who juggled multiple jobs without complaint or excuses.
Jesse James West [02:37]: "The relentless part comes from my father 100%. He ingrained in my head being relentless through his actions throughout life."
Growing up, Jesse was immersed in sports from ages 11 to 18, where he learned the value of continuous hard work and striving to be the hardest worker in the room. This foundation shaped his identity and motivated him to inspire others.
2. Balancing Multiple Aspirations
Despite excelling in lacrosse, Jesse discovered a passion for bodybuilding and content creation early on. Starting YouTube at 12, he juggled his commitments between sports and his burgeoning online presence.
Jesse James West [04:49]: "I have aspirations outside of lacrosse that just kept getting bigger and bigger. Creating content has always been a deep desire from a young age."
This dual focus led to tension with his father, who was firmly invested in Jesse’s lacrosse career. Jesse navigated these conflicting pressures, ultimately realizing that his true calling lay elsewhere.
3. Struggles with Lacrosse and Mental Health
At 15, Jesse committed to Lehi University on a $200,000 scholarship, a decision that placed immense pressure on him. Balancing rigorous training with academic expectations became untenable, leading to severe anxiety and depression.
Jesse James West [12:37]: "I genuinely thought I was just a depressed person... But I realized that I am the only one that can carry the damn boat."
After enduring hardship for nearly a year, Jesse made the difficult decision to quit lacrosse, a move that was initially met with resistance from his father and coaches. This pivotal moment marked a significant turning point in his life, allowing him to prioritize his mental well-being and pursue his true passions.
4. Overcoming Fear and Building Resilience
Jesse emphasizes the importance of daily habits in overcoming fear and building resilience. Practices such as ice baths, cold plunges, and challenging oneself physically help in desensitizing fear and fostering mental toughness.
Jesse James West [18:43]: "Doing those little things that you can accomplish and get over fear add up and build habit and building blocks."
He advocates for confronting discomfort regularly to prepare oneself for larger life challenges, ensuring that resilience is ingrained through consistent practice.
5. Extreme Fitness Challenges and Lessons Learned
Jesse shares his experiences with extreme fitness challenges, including running a full marathon in 30 days without proper preparation and participating in Liver King’s Barbarian Crucible. These endeavors taught him profound lessons about physical and mental endurance.
Jesse James West [55:22]: "Running a marathon is wildly different. It's just a matter of willpower, conditioning."
His marathon experience highlighted the limits of physical endurance and the critical role of mental strength in overcoming perceived barriers.
6. Mental Health and SSRIs
Openly discussing his mental health journey, Jesse has been on SSRIs (Zoloft) since age 15 to manage anxiety and depression stemming from sports pressure. He emphasizes that taking medication is a personal choice and counters the stigma often associated with mental health treatments.
Jesse James West [46:10]: "I'm on an antidepressant since I was 15... I want to almost normalize, like, hey, if you're on this stuff..."
Jesse advocates for a balanced approach to mental health, combining medication with daily practices like breath work and cold exposure to maintain stability and well-being.
7. Reflections on Parenting and Mentorship
Jesse reflects on the complex relationship with his father, acknowledging both the positive influence and the toxic pressure that led to his struggles. Over time, they rebuilt their relationship, understanding the balance between support and overbearing expectations.
Jesse James West [32:05]: "John had to become a new man and accept things, and I had to learn that I have to say what I want in life."
He draws parallels between his father and Liver King, recognizing the value in pushing oneself while advocating for personal needs and desires.
8. Perspectives on YouTube Policies and Fitness Content
The conversation shifts to YouTube's decision to limit fitness content recommendations for teenagers, aiming to reduce the development of negative self-beliefs. Jesse critiques this move, arguing that it’s counterproductive and overlooks the broader influence of various content types.
Jesse James West [89:21]: "If YouTube's watching, this is dumb because you can be influenced by literally anything."
He believes that adaptive strategies and personal responsibility are more effective than blanket restrictions, highlighting the resilience and agency of his audience.
9. Concluding Insights: The Power of Self-Belief and Discipline
Throughout the episode, Jesse James West underscores the significance of self-belief and disciplined practice in achieving personal growth and overcoming adversity. His journey from a pressured athlete to a content creator and fitness enthusiast serves as a testament to the transformative power of resilience and self-advocacy.
Jesse James West [37:06]: "Do what you're meant to, not what you're supposed to."
This mantra encapsulates his philosophy of pursuing authentic passions rather than conforming to external expectations, inspiring listeners to seek fulfillment through genuine self-expression and relentless effort.
Notable Quotes
Conclusion
Episode #866 of Modern Wisdom offers a profound exploration of discipline, resilience, and self-advocacy through Jesse James West’s personal experiences. From overcoming immense pressure in sports to embracing mental health and extreme fitness challenges, Jesse provides valuable insights into navigating life’s toughest moments with unwavering determination. His story serves as an inspiring guide for listeners striving to stay disciplined and authentic in their own journeys.