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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, January 5, 2026. Oh, Jesus. Where is this decade going? 2026. What's going on? Hawaii. It is the first podcast of 2026. Let's hope it's going to be a good year. Hi, everybody. Let's hope. Let's hope. Well, Jesus Christ. Let's hope they shut down the fuck. What if they just shut the Internet off? Oh, my God. What if racist people couldn't just keep talking to each other on the fucking Internet? Wouldn't that be fantastic? Oh, my God. It's like fucking. I don't even. I. I like how far back we have fucking regressed with this shit. It's. It's these fucking people out there. They're acting like Martin Luther King is still giving speeches. It's like. It's like back to that. It's fucking unbelievable. Um, anyway, with that positive note, hopefully this will be a good fucking year. I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? Who knows what happens? All you can do is just fucking try to be a good person yourself. I'm still in a good mood. I am fucking a month in three days. I have not lost my temper. I've gotten upset, I've been flustered, but I've stayed out of anger, which has been amazing for me, and kind of blocked out, like, Mondays for me. Mondays is my mental health day. I go to therapy. I do my yoga. You know, I've been like, meditating. Meditating is frustrating for me because I used to be able to do it. And I would feel. I would just concentrate on, like, my stomach going up and down when I was breathing. And it was almost like I had my eyes closed. Like I was looking down at it. My whole body would get relaxed. And then after doing that for, I don't know, a couple of minutes, I would. It would almost be like I would then look straight ahead or look up with my eyes closed. And then all of a sudden my st. Stomach would feel like it was 100ft away from me. And I felt like I was floating. And I used to listen to Jane's Addictions. Three days, I'd listen to that song into, like, what is the next one? Then she did at the corner store. All that. That really. Whatever. That effect Dave Navarro had on his guitar, the flange. Is that what it is? I don't know what it is, but that's a very sort of trippy floating Sound. And I. I used to do it. And I remember my brother would come in and if he saw me do it, this is what. I was still living at home, this is how long ago it was. My brother would come in and if he saw me meditating, he'd start going, whoa. Ow. Yep. Just being a. At these high pitch Ric Flair screams. And I would be meditating going, he's a douche, just don't listen to it. And I do remember one time leaping up from the chair and just getting into a massive fist fight as he was laughing, running away. And then I hit him a couple times. And then it became like a real fight, you know, the usual. The usual day in my life as a kid. Anyway, yes, I'm trying to meditate again. And that is fucking right there. Everybody, that right there is my fucking life, okay? Even when I'm alone and I try to just sit in a chair and meditate, somebody comes in and fucks with me. And next thing you know, I'm in some sort of altercation. Wow. All right. We figure that out. So I don't know. And then somewhere along the line of meditating, it became like, I know how to do this. So then I would be like, okay, do this for three minutes. And now we're bringing our eyes up and then we should start floating. Why aren't we floating? Why isn't this work? And I was just between my ears, and then I got super frustrated and I just have tried sporadically for the next 30 years to try to do it again, and I haven't been able to. So now I'm trying to be like, just like. Well, just don't have any expectations. Keep focusing on the breath. It'll fucking happen. You know, I was gonna do that. I almost said tantric. What is that fucking. That's the sex thing where you. You come for like 20 minutes. Who the wants to be like 10 minutes later for 20 minutes? Um, you know, I love AC DC. I don't want to listen to him play Back in black for 20 minutes straight. You're turning coming into to like a jam band. I always thought jam ban. The only fun is the fucking people jamming. So that's a bad analogy because you're the one busting a nut, so that should be you, but it's just like, oh, my God. And then what? For the next four hours, you're like, don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me. No. What is. What is that? That, that meditation? It's sort of the Top of the meditation chart. They give you a word. They talk to you and then you give them a word. And I'm like, all right, what's my word? They're like, well, you got to give us money. And it's just like, fuck you, you monetized meditating. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. All right, I'll come up with my own, my own fucking mantra. Fuck whoever I just talked to at the, the. What the fuck is it called now that I said? Tantric. I can't think of the name of it. Trans. Trans. Dental. No, that sounds like where people transition and get their teeth fixed. Transcendental. All right people, this is it. This is the level of intellect I'm bringing for 20, 26. You know, I don't know why you're listening. Does it make you feel better about yourself? It should. Anyway, me and my lovely, lovely wife went to go see. I almost said life there. She is my life. We went Monday night to go see Janet Jackson at this casino way out by the San Bernardino airport. And it was like a 3,000 seater, this one off show she did, she's not even on tour. So I saw it advertised here in LA and like a idiot, I thought it was in la. So I get the tickets and then you know, club soda. Kenny's like, FYI, it's a two hour drive with traffic. I'm like, oh my God, I had no idea. But anyway, we got all the way out there and I gotta tell you this, Janet Jackson absolutely killed was like an over a 90 minute show. She did all of her hits and she was doing the dances from the videos back in the day and she can still kill it. I was watching her jumping around at one point going like. I'm like, my knees hurt just watching her doing it and I don't know where to start. Like I got like as a performer, I like to think, you know, on the low rung of entertainment, A stand up comedian. We're. We're what they usually for a music act, they'll put us on in front of them to kill time before people see the actual entertainment, right? So, but despite that, just the level of professionalism because she wasn't on tour, this was like a one off show. And you know, I hate to say this, a lot of performers kind of walk their way through it if they usually, you know, she usually plays venues way bigger than that, you know, so you can kind of like be, you know, I'm not on tour, just going to do the hits. I'll do a fucking Medley and I'll just, you know, get the money and get out of that was not the vibe. She was a total pro. Came out there, realized everybody was excited to see her and her. Her band. That was my only complaint. I felt the drums could have been a little higher in the li. In the mix because that guy was killing it, and I wanted to hear more of that. But the backup dances, the whole thing, the. The song selection, and the. Just the way she was with her crowd, she was. She was fantastic. And watching my wife going nuts, she was dancing, like, the entire show. And it's one of the truly beautiful things I've seen in. In my life is my wife dancing. And. And also earlier this year when she was in Lake Tahoe and she actually. I got her to jump in that freezing lake, and she went in and ended up realizing that it was exhilarating. Then rather than coming back up the ladder to the dock, she swam all the way back in, and I was super proud of her. So, anyway, I was at that. I was at that. That show, and one of the songs that she sang, Escapade. Yeah, we'll have a good time. S. GOVP Leave your worries behind. Right? And I was like, oh, my God, here's another branding chance. If I was Janet Jackson's agent, I would call up Cadillac and I would fucking have her do a commercial for Escalade. Escalade. We'll have a good time. Escalade. Leave your Prius behind, Whatever the fuck you would You. You listen, I didn't say I could write lyrics. I'm just saying the business is shrinking. Yeah. Like, five nerds are going to run Hollywood in about fucking three months, and all the money is going to go to them, and we're going to be like, can we please get money for a sandwich? So you got to get out there, man. As performers. Now we're all just going to be shelling for the people that don't want to pay us, and we're going to all do commercials. Anyway. But she was fantastic. I don't know when she goes on tour again, but if you get a chance. If you get a chance, definitely go see Janet Jackson. And I am. I am very happy that I did it. We. My God, we had a great time. So, anyway, plowing ahead, let's talk about my Boston Bruins, because I have a tour that's starting up. It's probably going to start up in March, but I'm doing some. I'm doing some kind of some fun dates for me, you know. Oh, Billy's been working since the third grade. I had a paper route. I got a paper in the third grade and I really haven't had time off since. So I've been taking a little time off other than Covid, but like, Covid was not. Was not my choice. So there was that stressed the whole time of like, is this going to go on forever? Because I don't. I don't know if you guys remember. Do you remember how the whole fucking country divided and nobody could get on the same page? So nothing was going to work. Social distancing. Distancing is not going to work if everybody's not doing it. Became that. And then people arguing about solids and gases and then people who weren't scientists were just leading people around with information that they fucking found on the. It was fucked. There was no way to be like, ha, you know what? I'm just going to put my feet up. I will tell you this. Next time there's a pandemic, I'm going to make sure I enjoy it. All right? I think if I look back on the pandemic, that's the one thing I forgot to do. I didn't enjoy it enough. I didn't enjoy the downtime anyway. Plowing ahead here. So the Boston Bruins. I am going up to Seattle. I'm going to the Bruins Kraken game and then I'm gonna do a theater up there in Seattle. Gonna run my hour here over the next few nights out here in la, just gonna get up every night and just do different sections of my act. So when I go to Seattle, I'm gonna be ready to go so I can be a pro like Ms. Jackson if you're nasty. And the Bruins been playing, all right, one two in a row after we were kind of out on the. Out on the tiles, as Zeppelin would say, which means going out drinking, that's not a good thing. I don't know what I'm saying. We were fucking. We weren't winning games. So Edmonton, which I didn't think we were going to win, Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl and all of those guys. And we came in and we actually, I think we won like five to one. My favorite goal of the game was middle stat, that snipe to the short side. And then last night or yesterday, watching the Bruins beat Vancouver and seeing Frazier Minton had two goals. One was the overtime winner. So we're on a little bit of a run here. This is the Calgary. Used to be Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver. And then you would go down and do play the Kings and the Ducks. They kind of would get the whole west coast trip out of the way or they would break it up. You do like Phoenix, Anaheim, Louisiana, maybe San Jose and then you'd come back. But now that's become like a whole fucking thing down there. Phoenix is now Utah. Utah, Vegas, Anaheim, San Jose, Louisiana. You got all of those teams. So now I feel like Seattle, when they put the schedule together, gets lumped in with Calgary, Edmonton and Vancouver, which I think is cool. So I'm excited to go to that game. I feel like the Kraken really have a cool logo and they have a great fan. Like Seattle fans are fucking ridiculous. Like they go all out for everything. I really think it's weird. They're going to get an NBA team back. I never understand an NBA team leaving a city and then you bring. Aren't they kind of blaming the owner at that point? Because if the city failed, why would you go back there if they don't have good fans? You're really saying that the owner was a douche and was crying because he didn't like KeyArena. Like if I was a fucking owner like the Kansas City Chiefs, I would keep Arrowhead Stadium, you know, the same way I like old cars, I like old stadiums. I don't want some big douchey iPhone store looking thing that makes like. That makes sense in Dallas, right? Those people don't have any taste. This simpletons. Look at my belt buckle. My belt buck is bigger. That means it's better, right? They're morons. No, I'm kidding. I actually like Dallas. Like if I was going to live in Texas, that's where I would live, you know? Like Austin was always too like, hey man, like fucking hacky sack. I just was never into Austin. Houston is hot as fucking balls. But I do like Houston because they have, they have southpaw guitar. I've actually come around. I actually like Houston now too. I like Houston and I like. But I've always liked Dallas because I was a big Cowboys fan back in the day and I like that Dallas embraces like bigger is better. Like that feels like the real Texas attitude to me. Then like when I think of Texas, that's what I think of. I don't think of putting people to death in the prison systems and all of that. I just think of like people wearing a hat that maybe doesn't need to be that big. I keep it simple, you know, as I get older, I just try to keep a lot of things just simple. You know what I mean, just try to keep it simple. So anyway, yeah, I would like, if Key arena still exists, if I was the new ownership, I would say, guess what? We're going back to Key Arena. All right? I'd go back to Key Arena. I would have a live band there. I would have no fucking dj. I would just steer in to, like. Like, I have a retro stadium. It would be like, you know, 70s night, 80s night, 90s night. I would just do that and just make it fucking fun for the fans. Keep ticket prices lower. You, you know, have like, the fucking cheerleaders dressed like Charlie's Angel. I would just fucking go old school. I will say this. Last time I had that experience was the Golden State warriors were in the Oracle. I went to a game, like, 20 years ago, and there was nobody on that team. Like, Chris Weber was. Was drafted and gone by then. And they had a live band there. I still remember it. Sorry, taking a sip of water here. No dj. And then, like, this live band, and in the middle of it, they played Herbie Hancock Chameleon, which has, like, arguably the greatest baseline ever. Like, greatest baseline ever. I would say, like, fucking Herbie Hancock Chameleon is a fun topic. Parliament Funkadelic Flashlight Queen, Another One Bites the Dust. There's a lot of good baselines out there, though. I mean, it's just as far as, like. Like, sometimes, like. I just love when they're so simple. You like, how the fuck can I come up with that? That was just sitting there waiting for somebody to play that. Like, Another One Bites the Dust is just doo doo doo doo doo, duh duh duh duh duh duh slap. I mean, how the fuck do you. I just feel like if you can't come up with that, just. Just, you know, I don't know what. Just. Just fucking go, go. Go find something else to do for a living. Wait. I don't know why me failing as a musician has to come into, like, you guys playing bass. I apologize for that. Anyway, Oracle, this live band, they were. They were killing it. And what's great about that song, Herbie Hancock, is it's. Once you get the bass and the drums going, like, everybody else in the band is just free to do their own interpretation of the song. And that's what these guys were doing, and they were absolutely killing it. Everybody had a smile on their face, and they were just having a blast. It's like they were playing an arena gig, but everyone was there to see, like, a basketball game. So they were like a bonus and There was no pressure. And the expression on their face, it was communicating that. I'm like, look at these guys just having the time of their life. Like, I think I watched the band more than I watched the game. It was the warriors versus the. The San Antonio Spurs. I remember that because David Robinson didn't play. Tim Duncan played. David Robinson was standing there in the longest suit I'd ever seen in my Life. When you're 7ft tall, you only look right in a basketball uniform. The second you put on a suit, it's like bodybuilders. Bodybuilders only look right in a Speedo. You ever see a bodybuilder in, like, a suit? They look like they're obese, but they're, like, obese with muscle. It's really bizarre. I mean, like, the guys that, like, you know, that have embraced the latest technology. I don't mean all natural people like myself. Well, Billy Bare feet doing his fucking yoga. Anyway, so we're coming to the end of the Anything Better podcast for the regular season. Oh, Billy Freckles. All I need to do is go two and two this week, and I beat the bookie for the first time documented on a podcast. I used to do it all the time before I had kids when I used to just bet against Paul Verze. We used to bet four games a week the same way we do here on the podcast. So I need two wins this week. And yesterday I had the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, either two and a half or three. They won by two, so I lost that. And I had the 49ers and they lost the game. So I'm 02. And now I'm just sitting here like, I knew it, man. Who knows? So what do I have today? I have the Texans laying, like, ten and a half, and then I have the Steelers against the Ravens getting, I think, three. So that's interesting. I have a favorite, you know, laying out a lot of points. I'm just worried the Texans are going to cover that game and then they're going to take their QB out like before the beginning of the, you know, the beginning of the fourth quarter, and then it's the backdoor cover. I don't know. Who gives a fuck? I do, obviously, because I'm talking about it. So anyway, looking forward to. To doing my first road gig since that comedy festival I did. I don't know if you guys heard about that. I did a comedy festival that people had a lot of opinions. Jesus Christ. Someday. Someday I am going to do when enough times gone by when People clearly don't give a I am going to do on this podcast and a nice deep dive into the absolute absurdity of that whole thing. Anyway, let's do. I mean, here we are all these months later. You know, I got to be honest with you, the. The outrage is still where it was. People are still so concerned. Anyway. All right, Squarespace everybody. The podcast is. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. 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Just go to this exclusive web address right now to try zip break for free at ziprecruiter.com again, that's ziprecruiter.com ziprecruiter the smartest way to hire. Okay, we did it. Probably gonna get shit for that fucking tantric line. I was trying to do that at the end of the fucking read, but I didn't realize I had that disclaimer to read. Well, we'll see what they say. You know, is there any way we could get a reread is. Anyway, you could read that again. Is there any. Is there any way you could just say you're saying this so you can justify your cubicle or your desk? Is there any way you just do that? Do you really think because I made the tantric sex joke that someone's not going to use will or won't use the coast cost thing? I mean, Jesus Christ, you got a good product. He's stopping these from. From using the company card on private time. One tantric sex joke is not going to up your message, all right? So relax. By the way, I am in a leather chair. How come I can't make the fart noise unless. Because people will always go, did you fart? It's like, I know. I. I have. I have a Ron Burgundy leather chair. I have two of them, but only one has the foot rest. I don't know why. Because my office isn't big enough. All right, Bill. Underrated. See I can't. I can't get it to go. Try to make the noise again. There it is. There it is. You got to go light. It's light with the sock. It's not skin on skin. That doesn't work. All right, Bill. Underrated. Oh, overrated. Underrated. Holy. We used to do this a long, long time ago. Underrated. I would say Philip Rivers coming back to the Colts. Overrated. No. Yeah. Underrated. Bringing him back, because that was fun. Overrated. Playing more than three games at his age. Do you guys realize how amazing what Philip Rivers did? That guy has 10 kids. He played like, what, 15, 16 years? He stops for five years and goes and plays three. And how about the fact that all 10 of his kids wanted him to play? I mean, he's a great. He's a great dad. There is the darker side. Yeah, dad, get out of here. No. Anyways, what do I think is overrated? Overrated? Thinking that a joke or a word that isn't part of the copy is somehow going to make somebody buy or not buy the fucking product? Sorry, I didn't think those through. All right. Underrated. Having a snowplow. Holy shit. Just for you. Has anybody bought a snowplow just to have for yourself? Hey, but you mean, like. Like, literally the Fisher one that you put on the front of your fucking F250, your Chevy Silverado, your GMC fucking. What do they call it? Your Dodge Ram? What is the gmc? The Diablo? I don't understand the difference between Chevy and gmc. It's the same company, isn't it? I mean, Ford for half a second had Mercury that made pickup trucks, but they only had them in, like, Canada. And they're like, what are we doing? This is stupid. It's the same truck with a different name on the tailgate. All right? I just got a snowplow. I have to say, I feel invincible. I'm the hero of the neighborhood now. I clear out driveways in minutes, and I've already received a couple of six packs from thankful neighbors. It's really Zen. Like, I cracked the window and smoked cigarillos. Listen to the Grateful Dead and just look for people to help plow out. Oh, my God, dude. Like, you know, if you're. You ever see those people who used to be the parking meter fairies? And they would go down the street and they would drop quarters in right in front of the meter maid, and then they made that illegal, that you couldn't do that. You couldn't save somebody else from a ticket? So fucking ridiculous. So imagine the snowplow union, if there is such a thing, would get upset with that after a while. Anywho. So this is what you do. You just. You just drive around plowing out people's driveways. Like, not even people, you know, I could see if you just did like, your street. Anyway, I've done a few laps around neighboring blocks, and when I see people struggling to shovel, I pull up and say, want me to do a quick pass? It's exactly like the Mr. Plow Simpsons episode, which you may or may not have seen. Thanks for the laughs. Go fuck yourself. Well, you're helping out people that are shoveling anyway. I don't know. That's kind of a gray area. Because people that's, you know, make, you know, what do they call it? Like, landscapers? Like, that's how they make their money in the winter is plowing people out. Maybe they're like, well, that exhaustion is what leads to my income. And you're giving it away for free, you fucking whore. I think it's great that you do that. I don't seem. Doesn't seem like you do a bunch of driveways. Like, what you had, like a pickup truck and you just decided to get a plow. Why? I need to know the backstory. Were you sick of plowing your own driveway? And then you such a good shit, as they say in New England, that you just say, you know, why should I only benefit? I rather enjoyed that. You know what? I would have to say you are probably the only person that is plowing driveways for the love of it. That's. That's a beautiful thing. You got your tunes going. You got your little herb, cigarette, whatever that fucking thing is. Cigaro. I like it. All right, good on you. How about more of that? Everybody's fucking struggling. How about everybody helps everybody out? And then we all get on the same page. We put our differences aside. Racially, politically, religiously, sexuality. And then we all stop and we turn around, look at these fucking billionaire cunts. Why not? Why not that? But can't do that, right? That would be too fucking. All right, all right. Celebrities who didn't get their due after they died. Oh, I brought that up. I felt. I felt Chuck Woolery deserved more of a send off. All right, number one. Hey, Billy Bullocks. You recently asked listeners for examples of celebrities who didn't get as much respect as we expected when they died. I know you watched a bit of wrestling back in the day, so maybe you remember Sensational Sheriff from the wwf. I do not. I Remember a whole bunch of people that people forgot about. Mr. Fuji, Mr. Saito, Bulldog Brower, Ivan Putsky, Tony Atlas, Jose Estrada and Johnny Rods. Remember they used to lose every week. The tag team. They would lose to Tony Guerrea and Larry Zabisco, SD Special. Special Delivery Jones. Pat Patterson, Ken Patera, Adrian Adonis. I can't remember the name of the restaurant I went to last night, but I can remember all of this shit. The Moondogs. Oh. Oh. Ted Dibiase. The intercontinental champ Champion before he was the Million Dollar Man. Who else? The grand wizard of Wrestling. Captain Lou Albano. Classy Freddie Blassie. Now I'm doing managers. I don't know. Bruno Sammartino, Jimmy Superfly, Snooker. Oh, my God. Who is the fucking champion? I'm spacing on his name. He was a champion forever, the redheaded dude. Bob Backland. There you go. I do not remember. I remember Sergeant Slaughter, the Iron Chic. And then that led into Hulk Hogan. Mr. Wonderful. All right, I'm just going to go down a fucking. I'm stopping now. I'm back. I'm doing a podcast again. Sorry. Sensational Sheriff from wwf. She was a trailblazer. It was a woman. I had no idea. As both a wrestler and a ringside valet to such greats as Randy Savage, Ric Flair and Ted DiBiase. In my opinion, she added a lot to each of their characters. Oh, Sensational Sherry. Not Sheriff. Sorry, I don't have my glasses. I do have my glasses. I just never fucking wear them. Hang on a second. Not only does she not get the right fucking send off, I say her name wrong. My apologies. Sensational Sherry putting on my glasses. Oh, a whole new world. Sherry sadly died in June of 2007. But just one week later, the former world champion wrestler Chris Benoit. Is that how you say his name? That was after my time. Murdered his wife and son before killing himself. And that story was front page news. Oh my God. That screams of cte. Sherry's death was barely acknowledged by the wrestling community. Is so as so much cover was coverage was being given to the murder suicide that rocked the industry. Cheers from Dapper in the uk. I got a fucking. I got to look that up. Sensational Sherry don't remember that. All right. Dear Billy Redface McNo Booze. Last week you asked about people who died and it didn't really. It didn't really get talked about. Check out Anton Yelchin. He was one of the greatest actors of my generation, but he joined the 27 club when the parking brake malfunctioned on his jeep. What it run him over. As young as he was, he had a crazy long list of amazing low key indie movies. Check out his IMDb if you want some great movies to watch. My top five in no order are Alpha Dog, Green Room, Fierce People, Charlie Bartlett and Middle of Nowhere. I'll have to check them out. What happened? If you want to learn about his life story, Here we go. His mother and best friend produced a documentary about him posthumously parentheses after he died. Bill. It's called love. How come all the words are like difficult this week? Love and Tosha. Oh, is that. Oh, he went by Anton. Is that that his real name? I don't know. Beautiful documentary, great interviews and truly inspiring from an artist point of view. Well, thank you. I got to check that out. I'm going to watch that with my lovely wife tonight. I got to find out where it is. Thank you for that. Doing a screenshot and now I have it and I thank you. All right, New Year's Eve drama. Oh, happy New Year and go fuck yourself. Thank you. All right, New Year's Eve drama. Hey Bill. My girlfriend is mad at me because I fell asleep on the couch on New Year's Eve. Oh, I need to know how old you guys are. We had a few people over, nothing crazy. I started dozing off around 10:45 and I knew it was going to be a problem. I also need to know how long you guys have been together. There's a lot of variables here. That morning I woke up around 3 5am to let our dog out who had been having some discomfort for a few days leading up. Oh, the poor pooch. I couldn't fall back asleep. Then I had to shovel. Then I had to get groceries and stop by my parents house. So maybe this is why he's so fucking tired every day. When I came to, it was a few minutes. Oh, you did all of this that day? Oh, that morning. I thought you meant the next morning. Also that morning you woke up around 5am, let out, the dog, couldn't fall back asleep. You shoveled and you had to get groceries and stop by your parents house. When I came to, it was a few minutes after midnight and everyone was leaving. She told me she felt lonely at midnight because she wanted to kiss me because it was the fifth anniversary of U.S. meeting and she was mad so she, she could have woken you up but she let you sleep because she was hurt and she wanted you to feel guilty anyway. Sure, it would have been nice. But let's be honest, there are worse things in life that could have happened. We had plans to go out to dinner on the third, but she said she didn't feel like it. I thought about what it would be like to say, sounds great, and going to bed at 8pm but I'm not that petty and it's not my style, dude. She might also want a ring. It's been five years. She's giving me the cold shoulder, and I have to be honest, this is a huge red flag. I've been questioning our future. Anyway, here we go. But I don't want to break up with her because of her reaction to this. Because then I feel like a petty bitch breaking up over one thing. It's hard to put into words why I want to break up with her anyway. Okay, okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This is the information that should have been given before you said you fell asleep. You fell asleep. Also because of the stress of being in a fucking relationship you don't want to be in anymore anyway. There's a John mayer song called St. Patrick's Day that basically says people break up after St. Patrick's Day because all the big holidays are out of the way. Lyrics are as follows. No way November will see our goodbye when it comes to December, it's obvious why no one wants to be alone at Christmas time Come January, we're frozen inside making new resolutions a hundred times February, won't you be my Valentine and we'll both be safe till St Patrick's Day. I mean, truer words, Bill. I don't know anyone who's ever broken up between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day. I think you could do that. College people are going home. You know, you're starting a new semester of classes. But, like, once you get into the adult world, it's very difficult. Do I wait to have a conversation, or do I break the mold and start exploring the idea of breaking up and start a conversation with her about why I'm unhappy? Thanks for the advice. All right, dude, I don't know what the variables are. I don't know why you're unhappy. I think what you should do is have the I'm unhappy conversation. I think you should figure out why you're unhappy and then have the unhappy conversation with her. See how she receives that. And then both of you, in a calm, adult manner, can decide if you want to work on this unhappiness. Because I can tell you this, buddy, if she isn't the one, you can go out and go meet the woman of your dreams, and you're going to get married and guess what? You're going to end up being unhappy at some point in a relationship. And all of these people who aren't in relationships who go see that right there, that's why I'm never getting married and I'm never bubbling. You're not getting married because you don't want to do the work. Okay? You don't just get to get married and she loves you and looks up at you and all of your fucking five interesting stories are going to be interesting for the rest of your life. And you get kids and everything's great. It's, it's like anything that's worth going after, it's going to be work. So it's not really the unhappiness. It's whether you're with a person that you feel is worth working it out with and trying to figure out where it went off the tracks. You know, it's like, you know, my idea of what being a stand up comedian was like, oh my God, it, you know, I get to fucking. Just the idea of working for myself. Being self employed and not having a day job was mind blowing to me because at that point I had a day job. I had a day job from 1978, third grade. I had a paper route right up till freshman year of high school. Then I got a worker's permit and I did a job until I was of legal age to get to work and then I just had jobs. So I was going 1992, so that was, I was 14 years of working, which is not a long time at my age. But I was 23, almost 24 years old. So I had been working at that point for like 60, 65% of my life. So the idea of not having a day job, holy, this is going to be amazing. And I'm going to go on stage and beautiful girls are going to be in the crowd and they're going to just fall all over themselves to get to me and everybody's going to laugh and I'm not going to be sad and my whole life is just, you know. Yeah. And then you become a comedian and then you're like, oh, oh, this is a lot of work. This is awesome. I love it. So I was willing to do the work and there's been times where I've fallen out of love with stand up and it's felt like work and I've wanted to stop doing it and blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, it's a true love. So it's something that's worth Fighting for. So I'm not saying don't break up with this person. I'm not saying stay with them. I'm just putting out some information that a lot of people don't seem to know. And I didn't know it too, until I became married, that I thought that it was going to be like. I just remember thinking, oh, God, I just can't wait to meet the person that I'm going to marry. So I just don't have to worry about this shit. When do I break up with this person? How do I break up with this person? Oh, my God, I wasted another couple of years of my life. But blah, blah, blah, blah. I had this whole idea of marriage was just going to be, you know, just fun all the time. Now I married a really easy person to be married to, and we have a ton of fun, but we go through times of just like, you know, being off the rails. We got to get. But we, you know, we address it and we work on it and we talk it out and like, you know, there's countless times we've come to each other and been like, yeah, it just doesn't feel like it's clicking or we gotta do something together or, you know, I don't know. I'm just not happy. I don't know why. I don't. I don't know if it's you. I don't know if it's me. I don't know if it's my work, you know, and when you're with somebody you want to be with, you work that shit out. So that would be my advice. My advice is to figure out, are you unhappy because you don't love this person enough to be with them for the rest of your life, or are you unhappy because that's natural in a relationship, but maybe you have too much expectations of relationships and that, oh, when I. When I'm with the right person, that it should be fucking easy the whole time. That's probably the best thing you can do for your happiness, is to get rid of that notion. And, you know, negative people be like, yeah, you saying sign yourself up for a life of miserable. I'm not miserable. I'm not miserable. But I'm also not going to lie to you and act like being married and having kids is. Is easy. It isn't. It's fucking work. But it's the greatest fucking thing out of everything I've ever done. Being married to my wife and having kids with her and raising them has been the greatest, most rewarding experience of My life. Nothing comes close, But it has it. There are really difficult times, you know, and there's. There's difficult times not just with your wife, there'll be difficult times with your kids. They're going through a phase or something like that, and that's what it is. And you know, if you. I've always wanted to talk to somebody that just said, you know what? I don't want to do any of that work, like at the end of their life, you know what that's like, that you just sort of, you know, something was. I mean, even then, you're still going to fucking have ups and downs in your career. I don't think anybody gets out easy. This is just one of these things, dude. This is just one of these things where it's like, this is these choice. These are just choices you make. You want to get married, you don't get married, you want to work on your relationship, you want to break up. These are just choices that you make. And there's this weird codependency thing that people have that like, I've. I've decided that I like, I like being married. I love my wife, I love my kids. I love this life, and I love the ups and downs of it. I like the whole ride, right? But I don't need you to like it too. Like, I've seen these debates on the Internet where, like, people are, like, arguing, you know, and like, you know, we didn't normalize being alone, you know, not never getting married or having kids. And they're saying that because married people won't shut the fuck up. Maybe I'm guilty of this right now, but I'm not telling you guys you need to get married. I'm saying if you don't want to do it, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think if you don't want to get married and have kids and actually doing that is one of the worst things you could ever do for everyone involved. Forget about yourself, the person you married, and those poor kids that are going to, they're going to sense it, right? But like, yeah, don't, don't go on the Internet on those stupid social media websites where people sit there and, you know, debate like, you know, I never got married because, you know, you know, right now I'm in Spain drinking a cold beer. I couldn't do that if I was fucking married. But blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, it's like, well, you could if you just asked, hey, man, I need some alone time. And if you would Like a secure person. I guess you could do that. Or maybe you couldn't. Maybe you'd have too many fucking responsibilities. And if your big dream in life is to be able to fucking travel whenever the fuck you want and not to have be concerned with somebody else, that's a fucking great dream. Go do that. So there we go. So that's my advice. Took me a while to get there, but, like, yeah, I would just figure out why you're unhappy and then whatever that answer is, you know, that'll make up your mind whether you need to break up with this person or try to work it out with them. There you go. All right. That all that advice was from a summer school kid, so take it with a grain of salt. All right, that's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. Have a great 2026. Okay? Try to stay off the Internet or be really. I really think the Internet is the fucking devil. And if you're going to go on the Internet, really try to pay attention. Like, you know how they say, drink responsibly. Like, go on the Internet responsibly. Just go after content that's going to make. That's going to feed your soul, because there are good things out there. Don't go out there and just watch people trying to rip each other down or just saying dumbass racist shit or whatever the fuck it is that's going on out there. It's really bizarre. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday.