Monday Morning Podcast 12-29-25 — "Drums & Donuts, 'Is This Thing On', Tablas"

Host: Bill Burr
Podcast: Monday Morning Podcast (All Things Comedy)
Date: December 29, 2025

Episode Overview

In this year-end episode, Bill Burr rants and reflects on a mix of social gripes, personal growth, movie reviews, music, and drumming. He offers blisteringly funny social commentary about politics, the economy, relationship advice, nostalgia for New York, and even tabla drumming—all with his trademark blend of cynicism and sincerity. It's the last Monday of the year and Bill swings between biting jokes, self-deprecating stories, and moments of genuine introspection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Year-End Reflections and Social Commentary

• Bill marks the last Monday of the year, commenting on how the week between Christmas and New Year's used to be relaxing, before launching a sarcastic tirade about the exploitative nature of work and tipping in America [00:01–03:00].
• He ridicules scapegoating immigrants for economic issues, using exaggerated, dark humor to highlight how billionaires and corporations escape blame [00:01–04:30].
  • Quote:

    “I'm so sick of them pointing the finger at the wrong people. Finally, finally they're pointing the finger at the right people, you know, get these goddamn illegal immigrants out of here. So the pharmaceutical industry can actually focus on their job doing the right thing for everybody…” — Bill Burr [~03:30]

• He laments politicians' salaries, corruption, and the impossibility of truly unbribable leaders, closing:
  • Quote:

    “We gotta pay them. You gotta give them enough money where they're unbribable. And then what? What if they're still an asshole... too many variables…” [~05:10]

2. The Internet, Radicalization & Self-Improvement Goals

• Bill pokes fun at “informed” people and internet rabbit holes, recalling late-night eBay binges and how online life can push people into paranoia or polarized politics [05:30–10:00].
  • Quote:

    “...we've all gone a little crazy on the Internet. The Internet will... Even at the most basic level, remember when eBay was the thing that was like the shopping fentanyl?” [~07:15]

• He shares his approach to responsible internet usage in 2026, from quitting social media (except for promo) to recognizing YouTube as its “own addiction.” [09:00–10:00]
• On New Year’s resolutions, Bill jokes about fitness and his quest for a flat stomach: “I used to be able to grab two giant handfuls of mistakes right on my stomach, and now I'm pinching an inch with each hand.” [~10:45]

3. Drums & Donuts: Parenting, Music, and Nostalgia

• Bill recounts taking his son on “Drums and Donuts” days—a way to bribe him out of drum stores with promises of donuts. He describes his excitement over drum kits and the nostalgia drums evoke [11:40–14:05].
• He affectionately teases furniture terminology: “Can we just take time out and just, just tip our caps to furniture salesmen? Just how easily they can go from armoire to ottoman and just not get all confused.” [~13:50]

4. Diving Down Rabbit Holes: History, True Crime, and Guns

• After waking up thinking about the "Son of Sam" (David Berkowitz), Bill goes deep on gun history, British colonization, and the hypocrisy of war’s “theater” terminology [14:05–19:30].
  • Quote:

    “Ever see war buffs and people, 'the Pacific theater'... Like it's entertaining. I don’t think anybody who ever fought hand-to-hand in a war or was actually up close to whatever called it theater.” [~17:30]

• He admits to being a “closet gun guy,” sharing his early (unsafe) gun experiences and a nostalgia for burned-out cars in 1980s New York—linking law enforcement, nostalgia, and changing cityscapes [19:30–25:00].
  • Quote:

    “It gives you, in the—your perception of the city before you even got there, was like, there are no fucking rules here.” [~23:45]

5. Movie Reviews: 'Is This Thing On', 'SpongeBob', and 'Marty Supreme'

• Bill enthusiastically reviews “Is This Thing On” (Bradley Cooper's film):
  • Praises Will Arnett’s authentic standup performance and Laura Dern’s vulnerability.
  • Credits Cooper as a “huge director” and calls it a perfect “date movie.”
• Key insight: The movie isn’t primarily about stand-up, but about relationships and the baggage people bring to advice-giving.
  • Quote:

    “The amount of unsolicited fucking advice you get from people that are also in a fucked up relationship and all of a sudden they're talking to you like their home life isn't fucking crazy too.” [~29:30]

• Bills reviews “SpongeBob” as ‘crazy’ (“a lot of maniacal laughing… SpongeBob is out there, but my kids loved it!”) and “Marty Supreme” (“Not gonna lie. I fell asleep twice just because I'm old, not because it's a bad movie”). [30:00–33:00]

6. Listener Questions & Advice

a. Dark Kodak Ad Jingle [~36:30]

• A listener pitches a dark, edgy Kodak ad (Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" becomes "Snap My Picture").
  • Bill riffs on how times have changed: “Now you’d get sued. Used to have those little Kodak huts, and you’d just hand off your film...” [~39:00]

b. Flying North & Breathing Exercises [~41:30]

• Bill discusses flight routes and the importance of breathing exercises for health and stress, sharing personal anecdotes of traffic stress and reframing toxic masculinity around “getting help.”
  • Quote:

    “…journal and all of this type of stuff, all of this shit that [before] I would be, ‘I'm not doing that. That's gay, right?’…No, gay is you're a man and you have a boyfriend. That's gay. Getting help. It's a good thing.” [~45:00]

c. Second Weddings [~47:30]

• A listener’s story about an old friend’s extravagant 2nd wedding prompts Bill to analyze “narcissist behavior,” projecting through personal experience, and riffing on wedding etiquette (“Everyone gets one opportunity for the blowout wedding—after that, you can't expect people to attend again.”)

d. Tabla Video Suggestion [~54:00]

• A German listener recommends a video of Zakir Hussain (tabla) and Tata Güines (congas) jamming in Paris.
• Bill reflects on learning Indian drumming methods, the challenge of “singing rhythms,” and the benefits it brings to musical growth.

7. On Celebrity Deaths & Retirement

• An aside on glamour and the media’s uneven treatment of celebrity deaths, using Chuck Woolery as an example who “deserved more” attention than he got [01:05:00+].
  • Quote:

    “Chuck Woolery was the fucking man…He made the Rolex presidential…everybody loved that guy. And he just passed away—and it was just like nothing happened…”

• Bill expresses admiration for celebrities who retired quietly and decisively (Flip Wilson, Johnny Carson, REM).

8. Parenting & Sports

• Bill ends the episode on light notes, describing taking his kids to batting cages, reflecting on generational changes (“Do they even leave the house anymore? Like, do you need to go around the world with the goddamn tablet…”), and touching on the state of the Patriots and Bruins, including a play-by-play of the Canadiens rivalry.

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On scapegoating immigrants and billionaire distractions:

  “We all know who the problem is. The fucking immigrants…Just glad we got our priorities straight. I'm so sick of them pointing the finger at the wrong people.” — Bill Burr [00:02:00]

• On politicians and pay:

  “If anybody should get a pay raise? Forget the teachers, let's start with the politicians.” [00:03:30]

• On internet radicalization:

  “The Internet is so fucked up. Half the country can’t see themselves in a van on the way to the camp—they think it’s only the Democrats…” [~08:45]

• On self-improvement:

  “Oh, Billy Yoga Mat. Old Billy Yoga Mat has been doing the right thing throughout the holidays. I almost got the flat stomach. I'm right there.” [10:30]

• On unsolicited relationship advice:

  “The amount of unsolicited fucking advice you get from people that are also in a fucked up relationship…” [29:30]

• On stress management:

  “I never even came close to losing my temper. I just kept breathing, almost making fun of how calm I was…” [~44:00]

• On learning from Indian percussionists:

  “Indian drummers are some of the best…It’s amazing, they learn how to sing rhythm before they play it…I wish I learned like that.” [~57:00]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Opening & Work Rant: 00:01–04:30
• Internet, Radicalization & Social Media: 05:00–10:00
• Fitness & "Drums and Donuts": 10:00–14:00
• True Crime/Guns/NYC Nostalgia: 14:00–25:00
• Movie Reviews: 26:00–33:00
• Listener Questions (Kodak ad, stress, weddings): 36:00–54:00
• Tabla Video & Drumming: 54:00–01:01:30
• Thoughts on Retirement/Death: 01:01:30–01:07:00
• Parenting & Sports: 01:07:00–Close

Memorable Moments

• The hilarious deconstruction of blaming immigrants and billionaire scapegoating.
• The “Drums & Donuts” origin story: Bill bribing his son to leave the drum store [~11:55].
• Heartfelt but irreverent discussion on breathing exercises and changing what’s considered “masculine” [~45:00].
• The running joke about how the internet radicalizes “normal” people into political paranoia [08:30–09:00].
• Listener’s “dark” Kodak ad jingle riff [38:30–40:30].
• Bill’s candid admission about burning out on showbiz, considering a “victory lap” and focusing on family [~01:04:00].

Tone and Style

Bill is his classic self—biting, self-mocking, insightful, and occasionally raw. He careens from over-the-top satire (“Just get these illegal immigrants in a van with alligators…”) to open, vulnerable admissions of personal growth, all while keeping a conversational, often expletive-laden and highly personable tone.

For New Listeners

This episode is a prime example of Bill Burr’s blend of sharp social criticism, blue-collar nostalgia, comedy-adjacent life stories, and honest self-reflection. It offers smart, often hilarious takes on a wide range of topics, with enough heart (and dysfunction) to feel like a late-night phone call with an unusually thoughtful friend.

Summary by segment:

• 00:01–04:30: Rant on workweek woes and scapegoating.
• 04:30–10:00: Internet culture, radicalization, and self-improvement goals.
• 10:00–14:00: “Drums & Donuts” tradition with his son, nostalgia.
• 14:00–25:00: Rabbit holes in history, gun talk, NYC memories.
• 26:00–33:00: Movie reviews—insightful and comedic takes.
• 36:00–54:00: Listener questions and Bill’s comedic advice/music discussion.
• 54:00–01:10:00: Tabla video, musical practice, thoughts on retirement, parenting, and sports wrap-up.

In sum:
It’s classic Bill—ranting, riffing, reminiscing, and resolutely refusing to take himself, or the world, too seriously.