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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, December 29, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? Holy. It's the last goddamn Monday of the year. And I would say the best Monday of the year, the Monday between Christmas in New Year's, because most likely you have it off. Well, at least you did back in the day, not these fucking heartless bastards. Now they send you right back to work, you know, they send you right back to work. They make people put tips on credit cards. They take a portion of your tips. They fucking make money off of that too. They don't give you any benefits. And we all know who the problem is. The fucking immigrants. We could just get these fucking immigrants in a van and stuck in a jail with alligators around them. Then all of a sudden these billionaires, you know, they'll start loosening up the purse strings and they'll start trickling down again. Totally makes sense. Got to get these fucking illegal immigrants out of here, man. You know, these fucking people are, you know, picking fucking kumquats for $3 a month. And you know, if they can do that for 200 years and then pool all of their money together to somehow keep up with inflation, they will in fact outbid one of you on a house. Just glad we got our priorities straight. I'm so sick of them pointing the finger at the wrong people. Finally, finally they're pointing the finger at the right people, you know, get these goddamn illegal immigrants out of here. So, so the pharmaceutical industry can actually, you know, focus on their job doing the right thing for everybody, you know, you watch, man, once they get these illegal immigrants out of this country, you watch, all of a sudden, magically Democrats and Republicans will start working for the people. You won't be able to bribe them anymore. Why do politicians make such little amount of money, you know, if anybody should get a pay raise? Forget the teachers, let's start with the politicians. You know, if you're going to be President of the United States and have to deal with that many bodies, you know, I'm not talking about the H by the first lady pool, whatever they call that thing, huh? The look the other way lagoon? Is that what they call the. Oh, if that pool could talk. Is there a pool at the fucking White House? Wait a minute. Do you only make like 200 grand a year to get be president and you don't have a fucking pool? That's got to be the worst place to live ever. Must feel like A zoo animal just sitting there, and all these people with, like, their faces pressed up against the fence. It would be bad enough if you just had a bunch of people looking at you in your house. You know, in general, that would suck. But to have them fucking, like, all of their hopes and dreams are on you. They're blaming you for everything. Like, how does the prep. I can't believe no president has ever walked out onto the balcony. They just been like, will you guys get the fuck out of here? Can I have five fucking minutes? You see this red phone? I'm gonna pick it up if you fucking guys don't take a walk. Keep standing there. Keep standing there. I'll start pressing buttons in here. Mr. President. Mr. President. Nothing. My name's Bill. I'm getting the fuck out of here, right? There's no way. How do you not lose your goddamn mind? And the whole time you're in there, you got to make all these decisions, knowing that it's not good for your country, that it's good for a small group of people. But if you don't do it, you're gonna get a convertible ride in Dallas. The least you could do is make more money than some fucking whore on TikTok, and it doesn't happen. And then what do we do? We wonder why these politicians are corrupt. They're not making enough money. We got to pay them. You got to give them enough money where they're unbribable. And then what? What if they're still an. You know, there's too many variables. Ah, Jesus Christ. You know, Bill, just stick with sports. Just keep watching sports and playing drums. That's. That's what I'm gonna do, okay? That's. That's my life goal. Just keep watching sports and, you know, occasionally running into people that watch the news and just ride out whatever they're saying, you know, there's nothing worse than having somebody informed in your life. Jesus Christ. If you just want to constantly be in the fight or flight mode, and I don't mean somebody that watches CNN or Fox News, the sitcom of news. I don't mean that bullshit. I mean somebody who's actually digging deep, you know, getting into the weeds on the Internet, going rogue. I love people that, like, go deep on the Internet. Like, you're gonna be the one that figures it out. Like, the Internet's not gonna get you. You're not gonna get radicalized. That's for all those other people. Dude. The amount of people that I have seen that have just, like, you know, we've all gone a little. Look, can we admit we've all gone a little crazy on the Internet. The Internet will. Even. Even at the most basic level, remember when ebay was the thing that was like sort of the. The shopping. Fentanyl. Is that how you say it? Like, 10, 20 years ago, I would be up at like 2 o' clock in the morning after doing a spot in New York, and I would be bidding on 1977 tops. Football, complete set of cards and being psyched when I won. And I bought like four or five years and somebody stole them. I think somebody who worked on my house took them because I want to go move, and I couldn't find them, so. And you know what I say? God bless that guy. God bless that guy. Because I bought all those cards and I never looked at them. I looked at them like, once and it felt good. And then I had them and I was like, where the do I put these? But I only like the ones from when I'm a kid. Billy, you going off the rails. Can you stick to the point? All right, I'll stick to the point. Like everybody, you've kind of lost your mind. You bought some you didn't need. You chimed in on something you shouldn't have chimed in. That's like light work, right? Then you got like, the mezzanine level of losing your mind is you just start going deep into porn. You know what I mean? Like a cinephile mixed with, like, human trafficking. Before you come out the other side going, what the did I just do to my soul? I can't even look at another leather couch. And then you have all the way to the. You start getting to the bottom, which is when you just get politically radicalized, which is where so many people are, where they literally don't, like half of their countrymen. Because I keep, you know, joking around on stage talking about this alligator Alcatraz stuff, going like. You realize what they did. Ice is their brown shirts, and that's their first concentration camp. And when they run out of fucking immigrants, who do you think's going in there? You don't give a fuck now, because you don't see yourself in that van. But eventually they're going to run out of those people. And then who you think is going in there? And this guy in the crowd goes, oh, the Democrats. That's what he said, the Democrats. And I go, really? He goes, who else could it be? That's how gone this guy was. He was so deep into the Internet that it was like, not only could he not see himself going in there. He only could see people who didn't agree with him going in there. And at no point did it dawn on him that those were his fellow countrymen. And if that happened, half of the country would be gone. Making this country half as strong as it once was have half the ability to defend itself. That's how fucked the Internet is. So my goal in 2026, I don't know how you do this as a comedian, because I got to know what people are watching and what they're talking about. I got to somehow, you know, how people drink responsibly. I need to, like, be on the Internet responsibly. I'm off social media now. I still have my pages because I got to have them. I got to promote my shit. I mean, what am I supposed to do here? I got off them in, like, end of August, early September. But then I kind of just replaced it with YouTube. YouTube app sucks, by the way. Like, you click on videos, and they just keep sending it. Like, they'll send you 10 new ones, and, like, four of them are ones you already saw. I don't know. You would think that they would work on some like that. But anyway, what. What am I talking about? I'm talking about how it's the end of the year and you take stock and you try to improve yourself. Oh, Billy Yoga Mat. Old Billy Yoga Mat has been doing the right thing throughout the holidays. I almost got the flat stomach. I'm right there. I am right there. I used to be able to grab two giant handfuls of mistakes right on my stomach, and now I'm, like, pinching an inch with each hand. So I got to get rid of that. And then I'll be happy. Then I'll be happy. Then I'll be able to walk down the street and hold my Charlie Brown head up high. No, I. I took my. My son out the other day. We were hanging out all day, and we got this. We do this day called It's Drums and Donuts. Because the first time I took him to the drum store, he, like, lost his mind and wanted to play every drum kit there. And every time I would ask him, you know, say, hey, buddy, it's time to go. We would start to have a meltdown, and I'd be embarrassed because it was all these adults there and shit. So I finally had to bribe him, just be like, dude, you want to get a donut? He was like, a donut. I was like, yeah, you want to get. He was like, yeah, like, dude, looking at me. Like, how the did you come up with that? Right? So then that's what it became. It became Drums and Donuts. So now he just plays and then I. He looks at me, he goes, all right, dad, let's get a donut. So we, we go to do that. But like, I went over to Pro Drum, my favorite drum shop in the country. Pro Drum shop over there on vine. And they had a Gretsch broadcaster, which is the kind of drum kit I had, I have. And they had this one in there with like this. It almost looked like mother of pearl, but it was purple. I'm not gonna lie to you. If he had a bigger kit, it'd be a lot. But this was a little like four piece kit. Well, you know, with the snare drum, but it was just really just a rack of floor and a 22 inch kick. If that was a 24 inch kick, oh, I, I would have had a really hard time laying off it. It was. I was looking at golden. I would put that in my living room. You know, the way somebody get. Some people get an armoire or whatever. What are those fucking things people have in there? There's an armoire's in the bedroom. That's what you put clothes in. And then there's that thing in ottoman. You know, it all sounds the same. Can we just take time out and just, just tip our caps to furniture salesmen? Just how easily they can go from armoire to ottoman and just not get all confused. Speaking of confused, I woke up this morning and I went on my phone and I looked up David Berkowitz while I was alone and I read about the Son of Sam. I was. I don't know why. I just woke up thinking about him going, is that guy dead? Then I just started reading about him. They said he drove a 1970 yellow Ford Galaxy. And I'm like, ford Galaxy. I know what those things look like in the mid-60s. I love that car. What did it look like in 1970? And then I was like, whatever happened to David Berkowitz's yellow Ford Galaxy? And they don't even know. It was a major part of the evidence. And that's where they found all the. They found a letter in there. They found the gun, which was a.44 Magnum. Bulldog. It got the nickname Bulldog. This is. I just went down this rabbit hole, got the nickname Bulldog from a, an English service revolver that existed. They, they made them from like, for like almost 100 years, from like the 1860s to the 1960s. And they showed all of these wars that had fought in, and I had never heard of half of them, all of these uprisings from the, the people in the parts of the world that they had colonized. Then there was this weird thing where Japan tried to expand and do a land grab. And I remember hearing about this, like they went in and I believe they fought China and Russia in one and got a piece of Korea or China, I can't remember what. And then the rest of the world went in there and piled on and, and pushed Japan back and was like, you're not allowed to expand. Only white countries can do that. Right. On some super fucking, you know, white supremacist shit. And I remember reading that that kind of led to, you know, World War II where they're like, well, what the fuck? We're just as smart as you, we're just as strong as you. Why can't we be out there oppressing people? You know, you think you're evil. Well, we got some evil that we want to do. And then, then they came back like the Empire Strikes back, World War II, that's what it really was. A lot of people focus on Germany, but when you go into, I hate when people say this, the Pacific theater. Ever see war buffs and people, the Pacific theater, they call it theater. Like it's entertaining. I don't think anybody who ever fought hand to hand combat in a war or was actually up close to whatever called it theater, I still get me honest with you, I still don't understand why it is so widely accepted to this day. Like, I don't get it. Like the amount of that, as a comedian, you can't say, but you can still go to war for a corporation. You know, you can have these false flag wars and all of these, you know, so called journalists working for two billionaires. Don't say a goddamn word about it. It's, it's, that makes you think. So anyway, I was just looking up the history of that English gun and like, next thing you know, I'm in Indonesia, I'm in Japan, I'm in China, I'm in South Africa. It was wild. It's all over Europe. I mean they, they did some, they did some damage. They did some damage with that gun. And then I was thinking like, yeah, I wonder how much a vintage one of those costs. Because I am a closet like gun guy. I, I love guns. I, I am afraid of them because I, I, I have no training in them. But I'm not gonna lie, they are, they are, they're fun to look at. But I like, you know, I'm a. I like the revolvers and I like the old west rifles. I like that. I'm not into that 1812 Revolutionary War. I like the M1, I like the M16. I'm a child of the 80s, so, you know, I love an Uzi, you know, and any gun that like Stallone had, I was into that. Or, or Clint Eastwood. I just like all of that. I've shot plenty of guns. I've just never had any training. Did I tell you guys, I must have told this story one time. Me and a buddy of mine, we were trying to get this landscaping business going. So we're mowing this guy's lawn and we're kids, we're like 18. He comes out of the house, he starts shooting the with us. And he somehow talks about how out of nowhere that he has this 5 shot 38 that he's never shot. And we're shooting the shit with him. Let's go fucking shoot it. And he goes, all right. And we went down the street. It was like this abandoned sort of area, but like there was another guy shooting there. It was weird. And when we showed up, the other guy, to his credit, immediately packed up his gun and left. He just saw like, one of these guys is gonna shoot somebody and it's not gonna be me because we were idiots. And obviously the guy who was taking us down there was an idiot because what are you coming down there with like two 18 year old kids who just were fucking doing landscaping. None of us knew what the fuck we were doing. And this is probably the beginning of my tinnitus. I had no hearing protection on. And I remember I pulled the trigger the first time and I couldn't hear anything. And I just pulled it four more times to empty it. And my ears rang for like three days and then it went away. But then I kept listening to AC DC and playing drums. And then that was the end of it. Then I got tinnitus and then that was it. But that wasn't the first time I shot it. First time I think I shot a gun. Was it a starter's pistol? I don't know what it was. It was something my dad had and he just had me pointed up at the sky. We didn't even open the back door fully. Dude, this is the 70s and the 80s. The 70s was the starter pistol. The 80s was the five shot 38. And you just, you just did this. And by the way, what we were shooting at and we were trying to hit was a Burned out car and down this, like, industrial area that somebody had clearly stolen it and burned it for the fucking insurance. And it was just sitting there. Like, I don't know if you guys, unless you grew up in New York, but when you used to drive down in New York City, you know, one of the ways you knew you were getting close was there was just burned out vehicles on the side of the road right up until the 90s. Like, Giuliani was like, you know, he gets a lot of. But he did a lot of good stuff. He did do a lot of good stuff as far as the aesthetic of the city. Like, just going out there and being like, pick up those fucking cars. It's like just driving into the city to see burned out cars. They not only were they set on fire on the side of the fucking highway, they burned up until the flame went out. Or maybe the fire department came out and they put them out and they just left them there. It gives you, in the. Your perception of the city before you even got there, was like, there are no fucking rules here. There are no rules. I can set up shop and do whatever the fuck I want because this is the Wild West. And I always thought one of the best things Giuliani did for tourism and everything for New York City was to pick up those fucking cars. Because I remember my whole family, we drove down there for a Yankees Red sox game in 1983, when Dave Rigetti. Rigetti Spaghetti was on the mound, sat in the upper deck. It was the. The second Yankee Stadium, the refurbished Babe Ruth one, the Reggie Jackson one. And I remember it was hot as balls. But I remember driving down into the Bronx, I was just like. I was scared. I was. It was a day game. I was like, dude, what the. What the is this? New York is crazy. Crazy. It always kills me. There was two times when I was in New York when I was a kid, and I just think about what was going on. Like, the first time I went there was the early 70s. My dad had business down there. We all went down and went to the Statue of Liberty and everything. And I was thinking, like, I was down there. And right around the time Martin Scorsese was shooting Mean Streets, you know, with a young Robert Dairo. Like, I was there. Like, that time might have overlapped. I was there before Taxi Driver. I always think of, like, that. And then in 1983, it's like CBGB's had moved to, like, New wave at that point. The Beastie Boys were just starting Run dmc. All of that shit was Going on right across the river and I was in the Bronx and all of that was going on. I don't know, like just like fascinates the hell out of me. Also Led Zeppelin, that was like right around the time they shot Song Remains the Same. And you know, I don't, I don't know, like, I don't remember what year or what month we went in the early 70s, but I always think about that. So anyway, plowing ahead. Speaking of that, I saw some movies this week. Oh, Billy, Billy. Movies. I got so much to talk about. I. Okay, I saw is this thing on the Bradley Cooper movie. I absolutely. Me and Nia absolutely loved loved ones. Loved, loved that movie. Will Arnett is amazing. And it's. He was such a natural as a standup comedian and his material was great. Cuz he was being vulnerable and personal. All of this stuff that's like the hardest thing to be as a comedian, being vulnerable and, and like open as a comic usually means the crowds. You feel like the crowd's gonna come at you. So you, you know, stand up is a lot of cattle prodding and defensive posture for a long time. And his character's married to Laura Dern's character. They were both amazing. And Bradley Cooper is absolutely hilarious in this movie. He was so goddamn funny. And the woman that played his wife, Andra Day, I just loved her character because the movie is not necessarily about stand up. It's. It's more about like relationships. It's a great adult movie, put it that way. Me and my wife was a perfect fucking date movie. And, and it was also. I loved the way it was shot. I became a huge fan of Bradley Cooper as a director. I never saw Star is Born. All right. You know, know, I don't lean that way. You know, I don't go see musicals. That's. That's like a, a movie I would see on a plane, you know? Yeah, so I never seen anything that you directed. It was, I almost saw it cuz Dice was in it. But I, I don't, I don't know. My wife saw it. She like called me up and was like crying, saying how great it was and everything. And then I was like, I was really happy that she enjoyed it. And I was also happy that I didn't see it. You know, I could see it now, but where I was mentally back then, like, no car chase or titties. I don't want to see, you know, meathead. But anyway, like the way he shot it was beautiful. And I gotta be honest with you, When I was doing Glengarry, they were down the cellar. And the fact that they shot it earlier this year, edited the thing, and it already came out, like, fucking blows my mind, that amount of work. But anyway, the Andrew Dayes character, what I loved about the movie is it showed how when you're going through a difficult time in your marriage, the amount of unsolicited fucking advice you get from people that are also in a fucked up relationship and all of a sudden they're talking to you like their home life isn't fucking crazy too. And I just loved her character, how she was just projecting all of this shit onto Will that was really like about her, you know, and not about him. And it really hit hard because I realized that I am a projecting so and so the second I see any hint of rough waters, I just apply the algorithm from my childhood. Oh, and then you're gonna do this, this, this, and this, and I go fuck myself. Is that what it is? And then I literally walk around talking to myself, arguing with this person in my fucking head like they already did what they haven't done. Insane. So it was done beautifully. It's a fantastic fucking movie. I loved it. Then I saw spongebob movie, which, you know, spongebob is. Fuck, the show on TV is fucking crazy. So this movie is also crazy. What would I give that move? That movie? It's, it's, you know, It's a lot. SpongeBob is a lot. You know, there's a lot of maniacal laughing. And then it continues and it continues and it's, it's like, you know, SpongeBob is out there. But my kids loved it, so I saw that. And then last night I saw. What the is that name of that movie? Marty Supreme. On a whim, as they say, I was out to dinner with a buddy of mine and my lovely wife. And then he was like, what are you doing after this? She goes, we're gonna go see the movies. And I'm looking at Nia going like, you fucking crazy? Yeah, let's go see at 10 o'. Clock. This movie's supposed to be great. And I was going, I, I, I'm asleep by 10 o'. Clock. Like, what? What? So I got an affogato little ice cream and coffee, you know what I mean? And I said, all right, I got some sugar and some caffeine. I mean, let's go fucking see this movie. And I'm glad I did another one I really liked. And I guess that the lead in that movie also was played Bob Dylan in that movie which I saw. And I love that one. I'm bad with the names, all right. He's a fucking great. Everybody in the movie was, was, was great. Not gonna lie. I fell asleep twice just because I'm old, not because it's a bad movie. So anyways, those are the three that I saw. But I as. As far as all three of those. Is this thing on Was. Was my, was my favorite. And beyond the fact that it was, you know, Will's character is a stand up. It was beyond that. It was just a, you know, it was just a great movie. All right, I am babbling here. Let's do, let's do the goddamn reads here for the week, all right? Oh, look who it is, everybody. Oh, it's simply safe. You know, if you could stop somebody from breaking in before they got inside, why wouldn't you? What are you waiting for? 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All right, let's get into your. Your questions. Let's get into your questions for the week here. Okay? Kodak ad jingle. Alright, so I was doing this thing where I was. I think this was. This is what this pertains to. I was doing this thing where I was coming up with commercials for celebrities. You know, Little John, Tommy Lee, that type of. And I guess, I guess people like doing this. So I want to hear what they, they have to say if they have an ad that they could, you know, some random celebrity, maybe this isn't this. Anyways, this person writes Kodak jingle Dear Billy bumper ad. I would like to pile onto the the recent trend of suggesting a new advertisement for an unlikely pairing. All right, imagine this. A Kodak ad. No, not some boring emotional ad about capturing important memories of life. Not. No, this ad would be dark, dirty, dank and disgusting. Oh my God. Imagine the glitz and glamour of a 90s rave with the hip kids snapping pictures with disposable cameras while sucking on pacifiers. There is some very loud bass and a familiar tune, but it's hard to make out. Okay, I'm in so far. By the time the ad is about to wrap up and some large group of drugged up kids are taking a group photo that the song is clear. It's a parody of the classic Prodigy track Smack My Bitch Up. But this time it Snap my picture, take my picture while a glorious Kodak logo displays across the screen. They can even use some catchphrase like a permanent reminder of fading memories. Kodak. All right, dude, that's about as dark and as edgy as it gets because it. Smack my bitch up. The lead singer of Prodigy is dead. Dead. You're showing young kids on drugs and in mindsets where they. They're not in a place to give consent. It's all giving Woodstock 99 vibes. But you know, rage, bait and controversy, that's what sells now. You know something? God damn it, I think you got a winner. This is how much times have changed. When I was a kid, like, you know, Kodak had The Kodachrome film. And Phil Simon wrote a. Phil Simon. Paul Simon wrote a whole fucking song about it. Mama, don't take my Kodachrome Mama, don't take my Kodachrome Mama, don't take my Kodachrome away. He was like, literally, for whatever reason, nowadays, I think you would get sued for that. You'd have to get there, I don't know licensing or their. Their blessing. But that was the thing back in the day. Like when you used to. Used to have those little Kodak huts, those little kiosks outside of the malls, and you would pull up in and you would just hand off your film. It was 24 hour development. And then you would come back and they would give it to you. And what was funny is that as you got older and you started, you know, hooking up with chicks and, and taking pictures with them and they're naked and stuff, a lot of times they wouldn't give you those photos if they were naked, but sometimes they would, sometimes they kept them, sometimes they didn't. But what were you gonna say? It's the way it was, people. It's the way it was back in the day. All right, flying north. Hey, Bill, on your last podcast, you mentioned a place to stop going going north. You probably already have checked, however. What? On your last podcast, you mentioned a place to stop going north. You probably already have checked, however. I live in Santa Maria, an hour south of Paso Robles. I know you were here a little bit ago on a Harley run as I was talking to Dean about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The airport has little traffic. Unless there are fires. They refuel everything here. Oh, yeah. All right, good to know. Well, that's the scenic route because I want to fly, you know, up from Camarillo if I do the straight shot or what. I could just follow the coast if I wanted to, but I'm very excited to do that. I just haven't had time with the kids and them being off and everything. Obviously family first, but I'll get there in January. That's good to know. Person says on another note, keep doing the breathing. For years I wanted to share my experiences with it with you and how much it helped my life in many ways, including breathing through a window maker, a widowmaker, heart attack with 100% blockage 10 years ago. The stuff gets better and better. Well, Jesus, that took a left turn. Hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas. Yeah. I gotta be honest with you, the. The breathing has really been helping me and like, audible size. I feel like I'm gonna be driving my wife nuts, but I try not to do it when she's around. But I just kind of go, ah. And just breathe in through the diaphragm and just get yourself out of breathing in the top of your chest. Fight or flight. What the gonna happen next? And I also stay away from. That's gonna set me off, you know, Yesterday, you know, I was driving my kids somewhere and all of a sudden I was just in this crazy, crazy, crazy fucking traffic. There was an accident or something and there was just no way out. And I tried to do a shortcut and like 30 cars had already done the same thing. So then I was even in worse traffic on this side road. And it was just everything that could fucking happen. People doing three point turns in front of me, a bus blocking the intersection through a whole green light. It was like this drive that should have taken 20 minutes and it took the better part of an hour. And I never even came close to losing my temper. And I just kept breathing and I just kept almost making fun of how comic. Calm, calm. I was just saying out loud, like, you know, if this keeps up, I'll tell you right now, I'm gonna get a little perturbed, which is a ridiculous thing to say. Nobody says that. Which kept me in a stupid place, a silly place. And I don't know, it's, it's, it's been working for me. My journal and all of this type of stuff, all of this shit that know before this I would be. I'm not doing that. That's gay, right? I would have been that guy. What, am I going to be happy and be nice to people around me? That's gay. Like I literally thought that. All right, no, gay is you're a man and you have a boyfriend. That's gay. All right. Getting help. It's a good thing. I just had to redefine some words in my head. That's all. That's all. You know, it doesn't take. It doesn't take a lot. Does not take a lot to fucking throw me off here. All right, let's get to the next one here. Guest at second wedding. Oh, dude. I mean, here's a never ending subject as far as like, if you get married a second time like that, that should just be like, you know, you just send a postcard. You should not ask your friends to go a second time unless you're a woman and you were horribly abused in the first one. But even then, now I got to go to the second wedding going like, did she do the work she needed to to not pick another fucking abusive person. Let's just get something for her, okay? And then we'll see how this. This one plays out anyway. Guest at Second Wedding hey there, Billy. No mates. Couple episodes back, you were ranting on what should should not be allowed for people on their second weddings. Finally, I agree with you. Oh, firstly, I think you said finally. Sorry, that was me projecting again. Firstly, I agree with you. Everybody gets one opportunity for the blowout wedding. After that, you can't expect people to attend again. 100%. In 2018, one of my childhood friends got married and I flew back from Vancouver, Canada to my home country of England to attend. By 2020, she was separated from the groom and by 2023, she was engaged again. By the way, this is. This all happened before her 30th birthday. The second wedding was scheduled to take place in May 2025. Initially, I told her I couldn't attend due to it being a lot of time and money for me to fly back to the UK with my wife and and our two young kiddos. But eventually my wife suggested I go by myself for a brief trip back to the motherland and show up for my friend. The second wedding was fucking insane. It was twice, if not three times the size of her first wedding. Hey, if the size of the wedding made for a successful wedding, there'd be a lot of sad people out there. Maybe she thought it was bigger or maybe she was trying to block out the first one. Anyway, what I was particularly taking aback by was the fact that I was one of only two guests in attendance that had been to the first one. With the exception of some close family, it was as if the bride had completely erased her past from just five years prior. That is in my experience, that is narcissist behavior. Narcissists have a new group of friends every they just keep cycling through because people tap out, they figure out what they are and then they leave the Once again, I'm projecting my own fucking experience on that. This person goes on to say, I've stayed good friends with the groom from the first wedding and I know that she screwed him over pretty bad with a few financial things, including some inheritance from his parentheses at the time recently deceased mother, he was not the best partner to her either, and it's definitely for the best that they separated. However, to address your initial comments about the balls some people have when they're getting married, I think the sky is the limit. Next time you're in Vancouver, check out Renzulo Food market for the best mom and pop. Italian espresso. All the best. And go fuck yourself. Well, I'll add that to the list. Yeah, I think your friend might be a little. I. There was, there was a couple of. I'm not saying that having a whole new group of friends five years later, I, I see you're not with the person you're with five years later, but like a whole new group of friends is. That's, that's, that's a pretty big red flag. And getting divorced after only two years and taking a portion of your soon to be ex husband's inheritance from his deceased mother is pretty diabolical even for a woman going in a divorce because you know, hell hath no fury. But you'd think you'd draw the line after that. You know, you draw the line at that, right? You never know. Anyway. Anyway. Anywho. Anywho plowing ahead here. Tabla video recommendation. All right. Dear Billy Bongo Buster, longtime listener from Germany here. I've got a video recommendation for your drummer self. I myself as a am a passionate hobby guitar player. Ever since I got introduced to Indian music through George Harrison many years ago, I've been fascinated by the tabla. Fast forward to 2025 and I'm taking tabla lessons from an Indian tableau master that happens to be living just down the road from my place. Gotta love the ups and the ups of globalization. The other day I stumbled across a YouTube video and immediately thought of you. It's a short 15 minute report produced by French television about two percussionists. I hope I don't mess up these names, but I know I'm gonna. Zakir Hussein from India Tabla and Tata Gynes. G U I N E S with the umlat over the U from Cuba on the conga meeting in Paris for the first time and jamming together. The level of technical mastery and creativity is just outrageous. All right, I'm going to spell those names so people can google this. Z A Z a K I R H U S S A I N and then Tata T A T A G U I N E S Paris, Just Google that. Besides the playing itself, I was also very much enjoyed Zakir statements about taming this wild beast called rhythm. Great insights into the mind of a master musician and a chance to practice those French phrases of yours. Anyway, what do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted. Oh, the drummer jokes just never stop. Thank you very much for your great work. I hope you keep. I hope you keep it up for many Years to come, enjoy life with your family and go yourself. I'm definitely going to check that out. Indian drummers are some of the best drummers on the planet. And it's amazing. Like, they, they learn how to like, sing rhythm and speak it before they actually play it. As opposed to the way I learned the Western way, which is you, you know, you learn this very mechanical way. And now all of these years later, you know, 35 years later, since 37 years ago, I started playing drums. I am now finally trying to sing rhythms and play them as, you know, as this exercise. And it's like, very difficult for me. Super frustrating. But also like, each time I do it, I feel like this part of my brain is opening up and it's making me play better and really listen to what I'm playing. And as opposed to, I've always said, like, I, I feel like I, I was doing drums rather than playing them, if that makes any sense. And so I, I would think if, if I was a drummer taking tabla lessons just to learn how from a true. Not from some white guy that just bought one. Take it from an Indian dude who learned over there t the right way. Like, I would think that that would help your, you know, drum set, drumming, just having that information in your brain. I don't know, I could be wrong. But anyway, this, this is also like the whole road that I've been going down, you know, old Billy yoga mat and just not being a stressed out lunatic anymore. Oh, you know, I forgot to bring up in that Marty supreme movie, the two things that, that really blew me away in the movie was one of the actors in there is one of the guys on Shark Tank and he does a fucking great job. I'm forever sticking up for acting because everybody thinks it's fucking easy, you know, because they see somebody that doesn't act go in and do a good job. But a lot of times they're playing like a version of themselves themselves. You know what I mean? Or they're playing themselves. So at that point, all you got to do is memorize the lines and if you're natural, you make, you make it sound believable. But like, you know, the true actors, they're like, different. Like this kid who's in this movie, like, there's not an ounce of that Bob Dylan character that he was doing in this new thing. And to me, that, that's like truly acting. Like you're like, those are two different people and you're the same person playing both. And you, you are two different People. But anyways, the Shark Tank guy, I gotta give it up. The guy was great. And. And then probably my favorite character in the movie and performance was Gwyneth Paltrow, which I was a little bummed out to see her because I thought she retired. And one of my favorite things in this business is I root for people that retired. Anybody who can walk away from this business, like, on their terms, like, I decided I'm out. You know, I'm not like Flip Wilson, you know, Johnny Carson probably got pushed out. But, like, when he left, he left. He never came back. I thought that was cool. Like, ultimate. Like, REM REM didn't even let people know it was their last show. They said, yep, we done. I think we're done. 2010 or whatever. They did their last show. Nobody knew it but them. Then that was it, and they were fucking done. I think they came together one other time, but it was for, like, a benefit, which I don't give a shit. But, like, they're like, yeah, no more albums, no more touring. We're fucking done. And I would give any amount of money to see a documentary on somebody that was performing at that level. What it is like to come out the other side and the. The craziness of, like, you know, go into the studio, write an album, complete the album, promote the album, go on tour, get off tour, take a week off, go back into the studio, write another album, promote the album, go on tour. To finally get off of that and come home and just sit down on your couch or on your back porch. And I just can't imagine, like. Like, if I was to stop. I mean, I got a lot of great memories, but there. There would be. And I would be amazed at how fast it's gone by, but I would also look back and be thick. Would be. Wouldn't. I'm not gonna lie to you. There'd be a part of me thinking, like, what the was that? Like, why did I have the need to do that? Like, that was insane. Whatever that need was, that void that just took me around the world. I had all these great experiences, and I met all of these people, but it was also, like. It was weird. It was like I was living a dream, but I was also running from. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm 57, you know, sliding into 60. I'm starting to think about the end. Like, how does this end? Not my life. I plan on living to 100 if I can. But, like, as far as, like, how do I just gracefully get off this ride, you know, just like in the merry go round and just step off without doing a face plan or falling backwards and cracking my skull. Like, how exactly does this happen? God knows I got enough hobbies to keep myself busy. If I, If I. If I stop doing this shit, all I would do other than, you know, hanging out with my kids, which is my number one priority because I'm not gonna work as much as I have in the past. I think that Broadway play, being away, that was. That was it for me as far as like this showbiz shit. And now that I've finally calmed down and gotten rid of my anger, which I know is an ongoing project here, like, I'm going to just, you know, always gonna do stand up and stuff, but I am going to, like, be much more. I don't know what, like, I'm not gonna be, you know, my whole career, people going like, dude, how do you got time to do all of this? I don't want to be that guy anymore. I. I have been home for most of this last half of the year. I mean, not gonna lie, I'm still, you know, I got a production company, so I've been writing my ass off and everything. During the day, I'm still productive, but just not having to go to lax, you know, fly somewhere, give people a show, and then come back and take like a day and a half to get five acclimated to the. The way that would stir up my ADD running around. I'm kind of looking forward to, like, I don't know, the final third of this. This experience. I feel like. I feel like when I get to 60, I'm into the final, you know, act three of being a comedian and doing all of that. And I plan on that being, doing like a victory lap, you know, survived it. I got where I wanted to be. You know, I didn't die on the road and, you know, made it out for the most part unscathed because, you know, not to bring you guys down, but when I look back at just the amount of fucking people, you know, I'm in at that age, I'm looking at the pictures on the wall, my friends, people I've met and everything in my office, and there's a lot of fucking people that aren't here anymore. So, you know, do you know what death really bugged me of? How like, uneventful it was? I don't know why. Chuck Woolery, dude, Chuck Woolery was the fucking man. I'll be back in two and two. And everybody loved that Guy. Everybody loved that guy. And he just passed away. And that was just like. It was like nothing happens. Like it was one of the most legendary game show hosts of all time. Great looking guy. He made the Rolex presidential. Like he brought that to the mainstream. Everybody, what's. What kind of watch is that? What the fuck is that? And I don't know, he. I guess it kind of made sense with his personality. He was so smooth. I guess when he died, like it was just a chill smooth thing. But I was kind of like, I thought he deserved more. There's one for you. Give me a top three artists or celebrities, whatever the fuck they are, that died and you thought they deserved way more fucking attention than they got. Like I was sitting there going like that was. That was fucking Chuck Woolery, everybody. I'm the only person right now. Like he was like the, you know, like Ozzy Osbourne got got. He got the send off that he fucking deserved. That was one that as sad as it was that he passed away, the fact that he got to do that final show and not only all of those fans, all of those musicians got to go there and say goodbye and all of that. Not that they were aware that he was going to be gone a few weeks later, but like, you know, like that was, that was like, that was an Aussie worthy send off, I felt. And like this might be crazy, but is. Is Chuck Woolery. I mean that guy, I'm not saying he's the Ozzy Osborne, a game show host, but he's definitely in the Mount Rushmore of them. Maybe because game shows are everybody's dirty little secret. Like you don't want to admit that you watch a game show. I love a game show. I mean I still Jeopardy. And Wheel of Fortune. I mean that's the greatest back to back game show combination ever. One makes you feel smart and the other one puts you right back in your place. You know, it's nice level. You know, you give as good as you get in that hour. Unless it's celebrity jeopardy, then it's. Usually it's easy. But anyway, I'm just. Yeah, I am babbling at this point. All right, I gotta go. Taking the kids to the batting cages. All right. That's what you do. That's what you do. When you're a. An old dad. You still do the old. I'm not gonna go take them to some. I don't even know what they do. Do they even leave the house anymore? Like, do you need to go around the world with the goddamn tablet oh, geez. It's all changed, hasn't it, Bill? It's almost like you're fucking 57 years old. All right, that's it, everybody. Congratulations to the Patriots. Bruins got to hang in there. Going into for a little rough streak here. Got the shit kicked out of us by the fucking Canadians. And I, you know, But I am psyched about that rivalry, though, because the Canadians got a new great villain on his way up. He's only 21 years old, Slavkovsky, and he was being a cunt. And Nikita Zadora came over and was like, trying to punch him in the head and he was punching right back. I mean, the ref was in the middle, but, like, I respect 21 year old kid. This guy's a giant 30 years old. This man comes over and grabs you. He didn't give a fuck. And I'm like, this guy is. This guy's going to be fun to. Not like, you got to have those. Like, I feel. I feel bad for Canadian fans right now, you know? Like, I don't think we have, like, any hateable guys. Like, we don't, like, now that Maron's gone. Like, what do you do with all of that? Anyway, all right, that's the podcast. I'm going to bow out at this point. Thank you for listening. Go yourselves, and I will check in on you on Thursday. Is that New Year's Day? I don't know. All right, I'll see.