Monday Morning Podcast | Files, L.A. Rain, Hurling | February 16, 2026

Overview

In this episode, Bill Burr delivers his trademark blend of rant, humor, and observations as he dives into his experiences with Los Angeles rain, personal anecdotes about fatherhood and home maintenance, social commentary on wealth and politics (with a focus on the Epstein files), music and sports, and spontaneous riffs on society’s quirks. He also features classic listener emails, embraces tangents about birds and math tricks, and banters about his daily life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Living in Rainy L.A.: Observations and Dad Moments

• Segment: [00:19–03:18]
• Theme: How rare rain is in California, and the “Geico Dad” urge to joke with firefighters (“Not a lot of work for you guys today, huh?”).
• Bill’s reflection on everyday hero worship, especially for first responders, and the forgotten doctors: “Everybody is, you know, wants to marry a fucking doctor. Then you got the lonely podiatrist sitting on the fucking sofa. I'm a doctor, too. Doctor of your ass, right?” ([01:18])
• His morning spent cleaning gutters, tied to classic suburban dad behavior, seeking recognition for basic home maintenance: “I went out and I took a video of the water coming out of the bottom of the spout, going away from the house, and I sent the video to my wife, thinking I was actually going to get credit in and attaboy for risking my life.” ([12:45])

2. Society, Wealth, and the Epstein Files

• Segment: [03:34–10:32], [19:51–21:35], [49:06–49:53]
• Bill gets reacquainted with news, particularly the release of Epstein files, and launches into a gritty critique of racism, money, and misplaced blame:
  • “What do you think of this Epstein island shit? That these billionaires, soon to be trillionaires, went to a fucking island to bang 12 year olds? Like, all of these politicians, these fucking philanthropists, fucking billionaires and shit. Like, bunch of white guys. Bunch of fucking white guys.” ([04:01]–[04:50])
• Calls out the absurdity of scapegoating immigrants rather than the wealthy class:
  • “Don’t ever forget that the reason why you can’t afford a house is because of an illegal immigrant that has no fucking money. That's why. It's not someone who's a billionaire on their way to being a trillionaire that doesn't pay their fucking employees. It’s not that.” ([08:23]–[08:33])
• Riffs on how society’s attention is manipulated away from power and inequality, mocking how the media would have turned Epstein’s trial into spectacle: “That’s how my business thinks. They don’t think, like, oh my God, what went on down there is one of the sickest things I've ever heard. What they think is that this would be a ratings bonanza.” ([20:48])
• Mocks political illiteracy: “They've gotten rid of civic classes. Nobody, including myself, even understands how the government works.” ([07:10])

3. Fatherhood, Baseball, and Multiplication Tables

• Segment: [10:42–14:25], [33:37–36:21]
• Bill shares a proud dad moment: his daughter aces a math test and follows it up with a powerful home run over the house, leading Bill on a wild-goose chase for the ball and a reward of home maintenance chores: “She hit a ball over the fucking house into the neighbor's yard. I thought it was up on the roof. ... She literally went yard.” ([10:50])
• Relates to his own child-like need for validation (“I cleaned out the garage, and then I swept it up and, hey, look at the water coming out. I'm a good boy.” [14:11])
• Explores methods to teach multiplication, tries to recall “chisenbop,” and gripes about modern math hacks: “What are they going to do this during the test? Put their fucking hands on the desk? You could just memorize them.” ([34:29])

4. Sports: Olympic Hockey, Hurling, and Dads Jamming

• Segment: [14:37–19:33], [41:33–44:07], [49:53–51:17]
• Commentary on the difficulty of finding Olympic hockey coverage, surprising Italian women’s hockey presence, and the joy of amateur “Dad jams”:
  • “I got a couple buddies of mine, they’re also dads...We have like this dad jam and just laughing our asses off butchering these songs.” ([15:42])
• Fascination with musicians' skill, humility about his drum playing, and admiration for drummers’ multitasking: “Drum teachers are teaching you while playing...another form of independence.” ([16:42])
• Listener introduces him to the Irish sport of hurling. Bill marvels at the scale and unpaid nature of the athletes: “Just people from your town not getting paid. So who gets all that money if 82,000 people are watching? Anyway, you can watch it.” ([43:02])

5. Cultural Critique, Food Networks, and Reality TV

• Segment: [47:00–49:06]
• Bill laments the turn of cable channels to competitive formats at the expense of genuine instruction: “I don't understand why there's no money in teaching people things. All people want to do is watch people compete against each other.” ([48:20])
• Mocks cooking shows featuring child competitors: “I don't want to watch fucking 8 year olds compete with each other to make an ice cream sandwich.” ([48:36])

6. Listener Emails: Angry Birds, Restaurant Chains, and Oddball Rants

• Segment: [36:52–41:33]
• Reads a listener’s “top four shittiest bird encounters”—from Hawaiian roosters to a vengeful seagull pooping on his mother. Bill chimes in on animal vengeance and the seagull’s karmic demise: “She raised six boys by herself, working night shifts as a nurse. That seagull is definitely dead now. To which I say, good. Fuck that shitty bird.” ([40:51])
• Suggests future topics: bad restaurant chains that are loved by many but are, in his opinion, garbage.

7. Driving in Rain, L.A., and Car Stories

• Segment: [31:11–33:36], [44:11–46:56]
• Bill details the chaos on LA’s roads during rain—a rarity that brings out bad drivers and causes spinouts. Contrasts this with East Coast drivers in snow and the “SUV invincibility” myth: “And then they go by you doing like 60 miles an hour. And every once in a while, you know, not saying it happened every time, but every once in a while you'd come up and over the hill and there would be that person that went by doing 60, like in the median strip, you know, stuck in the fucking snow...” ([45:34])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On First Responders and Overlooked Professions
  “Everybody. Always thanking the fucking first responders. What about the brain surgeons? One slip of the knife, right? One little fuck up.” ([00:56])

• On Wealth, Racism, and Scapegoating
  “Don’t ever forget that the reason why you can’t afford a house is because of an illegal immigrant that has no fucking money. That's why.” ([08:23])

• On Dad Validation
  “I went out and I took a video of the water coming out of the bottom of the spout, going away from the house, and I sent the video to my wife, thinking I was actually going to get credit in and attaboy for risking my life.” ([12:45])

• On Cooking Shows & Competition
  “I don't want to watch fucking 8 year olds compete with each other to make an ice cream sandwich. Then I gotta watch one of them get sent home crying.” ([48:36])

• On Olympic Evolution
  “When I was a kid, skateboarders were called punks. Now they’re fucking heroes. Going to the White House with a shiny medal for doing what? Scuffing up the curb outside of a fucking Cumberland Farms.” ([50:45])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:19–03:18 – Dad life, rain in LA, unsung medical heroes
• 03:34–10:32 – Epstein files, US politics, and wealth inequality
• 10:42–14:25 – Father-daughter moments, home repair, seeking validation
• 14:37–19:33 – Olympic hockey, Italy’s surprise, Dad jam sessions
• 19:51–21:35 – Media spectacle and Epstein, critique of corporate interests
• 31:11–33:36 – LA rain and traffic, suburban car culture
• 33:37–36:21 – Math tricks, teaching multiplication, chisenbop
• 36:52–41:33 – Listener’s “shittiest birds” and chain restaurant debate
• 41:33–44:07 – Introduction to hurling, Irish sports culture
• 47:00–49:06 – Food Network rants, kids’ competition shows

Tone & Language

Bill Burr’s delivery is irreverent, raw, and laced with sardonic humor. He oscillates between grumbling about modern society and embracing the small joys of family life. The language is informal, peppered with expletives and Boston sarcasm, maintaining the podcast’s uniquely unfiltered charm.

Summary

For listeners who missed the episode, Bill’s rants traverse everything from the absurdity of hero worship, the hypocrisy of blame in American culture, the joy and tedium of parenthood, sports nostalgia, and the quirks of daily life in LA. Along the way, he sprinkles hard truths, self-deprecating laughs, and classic complaints about society—making for another episode blending abrasive honesty and relatable observations.