Monday Morning Podcast - March 10, 2025

Host: Bill Burr
Podcast: All Things Comedy
Description: Bill Burr rants about relationship advice, sports, and the Illuminati.

1. Glengarry Glen Ross Previews and First Show Success

[00:01]
Bill Burr kicks off the episode with excitement about the upcoming previews for Glengarry Glen Ross. Reflecting on the first show in front of 900 attendees, he shares:

"We did our first show in front of like about 900 people. And I don't know, could not have gone better... The crowd was very happy, cast was happy, people producing it were very happy..." [00:45]

Burr expresses his admiration for his castmates' growth over six weeks, highlighting the collaborative success and anticipation for the upcoming performances. He discusses the shift in his schedule, indicating a return to premieres and the resulting personal time, which leads him to feelings of loneliness despite staying connected with family via FaceTime.

2. Navigating the New York Comedy Scene

[05:30]
Bill Burr delves into his attempts to find comedy shows in New York City after nearly two decades away. Frustrated with the pervasive presence of the New York Comedy Club's website, he humorously compares the experience to the repetitive, eerie loops in Blair Witch.

"It's like searching a comedy show in New York City. No matter what comedy club you look up, you end up at the New York Comedy Club's fucking website." [06:10]

Eventually, he finds solace at the Gotham Comedy Club, reconnecting with old friends like Chris Mazzilli and reminiscing about the iconic Chelsea Hotel adjacent to the venue. Burr reflects nostalgically on the simpler times before economic complexities like the gold standard and rising costs transformed living in Manhattan.

3. Personal Reflections and the Modern Economy

[15:50]
Burr discusses the economic pressures faced by working individuals today, lamenting the necessity of second jobs due to insufficient wages. He critiques the broader societal issues that limit personal time with family, expressing skepticism about potential solutions.

"They're fucking working 40 hours a week for a month and they can't make it... That's really bad for this country because then people have to get a second job and that's less time you can spend with your kids." [16:30]

4. NBA Horror Show: A Deep Dive into Basketball Frustrations

[25:20]
A significant portion of the podcast is dedicated to Burr's rant about the NBA, specifically an unnerving game between the Celtics and Lakers. He criticizes the game's unpredictability, refereeing inconsistencies, and the overemphasis on three-point shots.

"I just don't need that fucking anxiety... It's like a nail biter. I just don't need that in my life." [34:45]

Burr elaborates on the psychological toll of games where large leads evaporate rapidly, comparing NBA games to horror movie scripts with unpredictable plot twists. He highlights issues like missed calls on double dribbles and traveling violations, questioning the referees' competence.

"They called that shit in fourth grade. No one misses a double dribble." [38:10]

Additionally, Burr critiques the NBA's brand focus on a select few teams, neglecting consistent performers like Cleveland and Oklahoma, and the systemic issues within team management, particularly the Lakers' inability to cultivate homegrown talent.

"The Lakers... just do not have an ability to manufacture their own stars." [42:35]

5. MotoGP Race Analysis

[55:00]
Switching gears, Burr provides insights into the recent MotoGP race, praising Mark Marquez's performance:

"Mark Marquez... did the trifecta. He won the pole position, the sprint race, and the actual race... he's up by 11 on his brother Alex." [56:15]

He discusses Marquez's strategic slowdown during the race, pondering its impact on team dynamics and competitor Pekko's response. Burr also touches on Pedro Acosta's crash and the introduction of new riders, expressing anticipation for the season's progression.

6. Bruins Trade and Team Rebuilding

[1:10:00]
Burr shares his thoughts on the Boston Bruins' recent trade of Brad Marchand. He understands the business rationale behind the decision but expresses sadness over losing a beloved player.

"Hats off to Brad Marchand. What a fucking career he had with us. Without a doubt, one of the all-time great Bruins." [1:10:45]

He emphasizes his trust in the front office's ability to navigate the team's rebuilding phase, mentioning other player movements and the departure of key figures like DeBrusk.

7. Patrice O'Neill Comedy Benefit Promotion

[1:20:30]
Bill Burr promotes the 12th Annual Patrice O'Neill Comedy Benefit, highlighting its significance in honoring Patrice's legacy and supporting his family.

"Patrice was taking care of her. Here's the lineup this year... It's really fun to see Patrice's influence still on stand-up comedy once again, a testament to how great he was." [1:21:15]

He lists the event's lineup, including notable comedians like Rosebud Baker, Greer Barnes, and Tim Dillon, and encourages listeners to attend, emphasizing the personal and emotional connections to Patrice's work.

8. Listener Questions and Advice Segment

[1:35:00]

a. Neighbor's Motorcycle Storage Dilemma
A listener seeks advice about refusing a neighbor's request to store a clamped motorcycle on his porch. Burr advises setting clear boundaries and addressing the issue directly, emphasizing the importance of not enabling unreasonable behavior.

"Fuck this guy. He got very upset and started yelling... You gotta leave dirtbag out of the van world." [1:35:45]

b. Job Loss and Relocation Advice
Another listener, recently laid off from Wall Street, contemplates relocating to California or returning home. Burr encourages following one's instincts, sharing his own experiences of moving to LA and the importance of embracing new environments without trying to impose old behaviors.

"If you move out to LA with an open mind, the amount of fun that you can have out there for free, just the hiking alone is incredible... Listen to your gut." [1:42:30]

9. Book Recommendation

[1:50:00]
A brief recommendation for "Hockey Night Fever" by Gary Cole, praised for its storytelling about the NHL in the 1970s.

"Thanks for all the laughs over the years. I'm a big fan." [1:50:15]

10. Final Thoughts and Farewell

Burr wraps up the episode with personal anecdotes about music memories and reflections on routine amidst chaos, staying true to his candid and humorous style.

"What's killing me is... John Denver's music feels like the soundtrack to a cult movie." [1:55:00]

He signs off with gratitude and a signature brusque farewell.

"Have a great couple of days. Go fuck yourself, and I'll talk to you on Thursday." [1:56:30]

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• First Show Success:
  "We did our first show in front of like about 900 people. And I don't know, could not have gone better..." [00:45]

• New York Comedy Club Frustration:
  "It's like searching a comedy show in New York City. No matter what comedy club you look up, you end up at the New York Comedy Club's fucking website." [06:10]

• NBA Anxiety:
  "I just don't need that fucking anxiety... It's like a nail biter. I just don't need that in my life." [34:45]

• Referee Competence Critique:
  "They called that shit in fourth grade. No one misses a double dribble." [38:10]

• Bruins Trade Sentiment:
  "Hats off to Brad Marchand. What a fucking career he had with us. Without a doubt, one of the all-time great Bruins." [1:10:45]

• Patrice O'Neill Tribute:
  "Patrice was taking care of her. Here's the lineup this year... It's really fun to see Patrice's influence still on stand-up comedy once again, a testament to how great he was." [1:21:15]

• Listener Advice on Relocation:
  "If you move out to LA with an open mind, the amount of fun that you can have out there for free, just the hiking alone is incredible... Listen to your gut." [1:42:30]

Conclusion

Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast episode from March 10, 2025, is a blend of personal anecdotes, sharp rants, and thoughtful advice. From the success of his acting endeavors in Glengarry Glen Ross to voicing frustrations about modern NBA games and addressing listener queries, Burr maintains his signature candidness and humor. The episode also highlights his commitment to honoring comedic legends like Patrice O'Neill, showcasing Burr's deep connections within the comedy community. For listeners who enjoy unfiltered insights and a mix of comedy with real-life issues, this episode offers a comprehensive and engaging experience.