
Weirdos! Has a child ever traumatized you by vibing with the supernatural? This month, DebDeb has cultivated a batch of tales where the kids play nice with people that have crossed the veil. The best part? They are brought to you By you FOR you and ALL ABOUT YOU! If you’ve got a listener tale please send it to Deb by emailing us at Morbidpodcast@gmail.com with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line, and if you share pictures, please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :)
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Ash
June 5th on Apple TV. This 10 episode mystery thriller is executive
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Elena
Hey weirdos. I'm Alayna Juice.
Ash
And I'm Ash Dietz. I like Alayna Juice, but it's also kind of gross.
Elena
It's kind of weird and gross. This is morbid, in case you didn't know. And it's listener tales brought to you
Ash
by you, for you, from you and all about you. So we have some business to start you guys off with just a little bit. But it's fun. It's like for you guys. So we are launching today, today, today
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a candle, a morbid candle.
Ash
We which has been filling my home with the yummiest smell. I have it under a candle warmer right now.
Elena
Oh, that's the best.
Ash
It's in the kitchen and when I walk down the stairs, I go, oh, it smells so good. What is the scent?
Elena
Here it is.
Ash
Oh, my God.
Elena
We have it.
Ash
We can Vanna White. So this is it. She becometh so lame. You can buy a vowel for she becometh so lame. And it smells like sniffy. Sniffy. You already smelled it. It smells like amber and Santal.
Elena
It's so clean. Yeah, it's that clean smell. Like I don't know how to freshen.
Ash
And it's warm.
Elena
Yeah.
Ad
Yeah.
Ash
We're gonna put it right here.
Elena
See, she's gonna stay right there.
Ash
You can have one. And you can also have a horned hoodie, which is really, really cute.
Elena
It's got horns.
Ash
And literally, you put the hood on and it's horned horns. And we love it.
Elena
We were so excited about it. Yeah. We've been wanting a candle forever.
Ash
Yeah. And everybody told us that we couldn't have it.
Elena
Yeah. No one would give it to us. Or, like, some people wouldn't give it to us.
Ash
Yeah.
Elena
But some people did. So thanks. Serious Sirius did.
Ash
Marissa at Sirius.
Elena
Yeah.
Ash
She gets us.
Elena
She kicks ass.
Ash
So you guys should get that candle. And one last thing that I think should do. Sugar should do it.
Elena
Sure. Sure.
Ash
Buy tickets to the live show. You should. You should go.
Elena
Buy tickets to the live show.
Ash
You should go to Radio City Music hall on June 27th. See me see Elena. I don't know why I did it the wrong way.
Elena
See me see Ash.
Ash
See our special guest who we can't announce yet. And we're gonna have pretty dresses.
Elena
We are.
Ash
We're so excited for Romance from Romaine.
Elena
It's gonna be really fun. And we have a fun theme. And it's gonna be a blast. It's one night only. Tickets are going. So get your tickets while they last because we want to see all of you. Bring your friends. Have a blasty blast. Yeah.
Ash
And Elena says you can just wander the streets. You don't even have to get a hotel.
Elena
Don't even get a hotel.
Ash
Just wander the streets. Wander the streets until morn.
Elena
Yeah.
Ash
In New York, somebody will in the morning. It's New York.
Elena
Somebody will.
Ash
Yeah. I don't know if they're reputable.
Elena
Yeah. But somebody will give them to you.
Ash
But anyway, that's why you should come, because you could get a story out of it.
Elena
It's true.
Ash
But where the eggs?
Elena
You want lore, don't you?
Ash
Who doesn't want lore?
Elena
We all want lore.
Ash
Speaking of lore, you guys send in your lore. You did.
Elena
You sent in much of your lore.
Ash
Did you see that?
Elena
A great many lore.
Ash
So much lore. Yes. Would you like to start with the lore?
Elena
Let's start with the lore. I think. I think there's, like, kids seeing ghosts in this one.
Ash
Yeah. Because, like, you're a ghost. Yeah, I see ghosts.
Elena
All right, so I'll go first. This one's called Kids say the Creepiest Things.
Ash
They really do.
Elena
And they do. Can Confirm. Hi.
Ash
Hi. How are you?
Elena
I just started listening to morbid about a month and a half ago. Welcome.
Ash
Hello.
Elena
I'm on episode 161 where you guys discuss the scream murder while you're early. Early? That's a really brutal one. I beg you to stay with us,
Ash
stick with us, start sounding a lot better. And we get much more professional as time goes on.
Elena
In the earlier episodes, clearly in the earlier episodes, you guys announced that you're doing live shows and how excited you were about them. You kept saying live shows. 2020, we're coming for you. And in my head I was screaming, I'm from the future and 2020 ain't it.
Ash
Yeah, we wish we heard you back there.
Elena
It was very sad. And every time I listen to an episode, you girls have to talk about ticket refunds and rescheduling. And my heart breaks for you all.
Ash
It was a rough time.
Elena
It was. Anyways, onto my tail. My name is Danny. Hi, Danny. Hi, Danny. I have a three year old named Miles. Not his real name. And since birth he has always been sensitive. When he was two and a half, we were laying down to take a nap. What he said chilled me to the bone. Now he was two and a half year, he said, I miss my other mama.
Ash
Ew. If I was his current mama, I would be so pissed. I'd be like, what mama? I'll fight her.
Elena
I'm your mama.
Ash
I'm your one and only mama.
Elena
I sat up confused. What other mama, honey, I'm your only mama. My mama from when I wasn't Miles.
Ash
What?
Elena
This is like my favorite thing ever, kids. My favorite thing ever.
Ash
But if I have this kid, I'm gonna be so scared.
Elena
Yeah. And I can confirm, I don't think I have one of those kids. So.
Ash
No, I don't think so.
Elena
Your kids are pretty weird though. They are weird, but like in a fun way. Like the coolest way.
Ash
Yeah, but they don't do this shit.
Elena
They don't. I was raised very spiritually. My dad always said reincarnation was real. He thought I was gifted and explained that our family had a long history of psychic abilities. I thought he was full of shit. Sure, I get certain vibes around people or places. And sure, I've had dreams where someone else and I felt like I'm reliving a memory. And yes, I've absolutely seen things that I can't explain. Hat, man, I'm talking to you. Ugh. The creepiest, but the rational, scientific part of me believed and still thinks maybe I'm Crazy or schizophrenic or delusional.
Ash
You never know.
Elena
Yet here was my baby saying something so innocent, I decided to play it cool. Honey, no matter who your mama used to be, I'm your mama now, okay? Period. That's right. You put a period on that sentence. Lay it down. He was silent for what seemed like an eternity. I was half hoping he'd fallen asleep. Then he spoke again. I was driving my car. I was at a gate and I was Miles and you were my mama. He said excitedly. I was shook. Fast forward a few months. I had just buckled him in his car seat after a trip to the gas station. As I was tightening the straps on his seat, he looks up at the passenger seat. He draws his eyebrows together, clearly confused. Mama, who's that girl in the front seat?
Ash
Oh, you got a sixth sense, kid?
Elena
Yeah, that's scary as hell. My heart dropped out of my butt. My mind immediately went into production mode. Was there a stranger who just casually got in my vehicle without me knowing? What the hell? I glanced up to the passenger seat and there was no one there. Miles continued to stare at the empty seat. I breathed a sigh of relief. Ghosts were much easier to handle than living, breathing fleshies. And honestly, I agree with you. Can you tell me more about her? Is she old like a grandma or little like you? I asked as I finished tightening his straps. Old like a nana. And she's got orange hair just like me, Miles replied. He kept staring past me. Some ghostly ginger granny was in my car. It was fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine. It was fine.
Ash
You're gonna be a ghostly ginger granny. Oh yeah, that's right.
Elena
I nodded and said, okay, I believe you. That was a great way to handle that. Yeah, that was like really weird. A few more weeks went by. We went to our local dollar store for some last minute dinner supplies. My husband went inside while Miles and I waited in the car. The parking lot was absolutely deserted. Suddenly, out of the blue, Miles says, the little girl behind me says she wants to go home. Nah, I'd be checking out of that one. I'd be like, no, I don't believe you on this one. I don't want that.
Ash
Personally, I would abandon my husband at that dollar store right out of there.
Elena
It was a hot summer day and still my whole body broke out in goosebumps and a chill swept through me. The back of my skull tingled. I wanted to nope right out of there. But my husband was still inside the store.
Ash
Doesn't matter.
Elena
Leave him.
Ash
He'll understand.
Elena
My eyes darted around the desolate parking lot searching for someone, some girl getting vehicle or driving or anything that Miles might have seen to make him say that there was nothing. A few more weeks went by without incident. No talk of not being Miles. No talk of anyone who isn't there. Then we took a road trip to see family. As we were driving along the interstate, Miles looks out the window. I was driving my car and it went off the road and through the trees and into the water. Awesome.
Ash
Great, Miles.
Elena
Thanks. I have become convinced this is not my child's first time on this earth. He sees things in people who are not there. I try not to talk about it with him, but any. And if he brings it up, I just tell him that I believe him.
Ash
That's really nice.
Elena
That's really nice. That's a good way to handle it.
Ash
Yeah.
Elena
I don't know how else to handle it. It's like this fear that the closer he is to the other side, the less of him I get to have here. I know that might sound crazy. It's not. But in this life, he is mine. I don't want to share how I
Ash
would feel that in the same way.
Elena
Thank you for reading this. Sorry if it was a lot. This was amazing. Hopefully you can use it in a future episode. We did.
Ash
Even though that's not his real name. I love that name.
Elena
I know.
Ash
That is really cute, but he's creepy as fuck, girl.
Elena
He is.
Ash
What are you gonna do with that kid?
Elena
I always wonder if these kids, like. I think when they get older, they forget this stuff.
Ash
Yeah, they do. That's what I mostly heard.
Elena
But you want them to hold it so that later you can be like, tell me everything. Tell me what is going on. Yeah, I know, but I think they forget it. So maybe you continuously being like, I believe you, and just letting them say it, it's probably. Yeah, well, like, jog his memory enough that maybe he'll remember it a little more.
Ash
Maybe.
Elena
Because I want to know.
Ash
I definitely think most people aren't as validating. Like, I think. More often you hear stories where people are like, don't say that.
Elena
Oh, it was a dream. Or like, you know, you saw something. Yeah. Yeah.
Ash
All right. Well, that was creepy, Danny.
Elena
Thank you, Danny. That was good.
Ash
And shout out to Miles. Our next tale is Galveston Ghosties, but not a totally sad tale.
Elena
Okay?
Ash
And this listener would like to remain anonymous. You gotta go. Nicholas.
Elena
Nicholas. We just started.
Ash
Where are we? We're at my house.
Elena
We're at the pod lab.
Ash
You're in the pod lab with Ash and Elena.
Elena
You're at work.
Ash
You like Elena, remember? I'm not sure if you're. You're a fan of me.
Elena
Nicholas called me an angel.
Ash
He told me to be quiet. What did he say?
Elena
Push.
Ash
Don't. I won't push. I won't push her button.
Elena
He said you're pushing.
Ash
I'm not. Yeah, sometimes Papa says that.
Elena
You pushing.
Ash
When I lived at home, I got that.
Elena
You were always pushing.
Ash
You pushing? It's exactly how it says it. Or, if I wanted a clown, I would have hired one.
Elena
The best one.
Ash
Or I would have gone to the circus.
Elena
Yep.
Ash
Yeah, I was a fun kid. Anyway. Hello, weirdos. As I'm cleaning up my classroom for the end of school year, I've been listening to your back catalog. You have that in common with the last listener.
Elena
Thank you.
Ash
Thank you for keeping me entertained through the hours of checklists and boxing up books. I just heard your Haunted Lighthouses episode.
Elena
We need another one of that.
Ash
I know. We haven't done that in a while.
Elena
Spooky season is coming.
Ash
I know. This one is about the Galveston Hurricane of 1900. I have a super spooky story for you two related to the hurricane, and it will give you both the heebies and the jeebies. This started in 2013. I had recently discovered I was pregnant, so I was still able to walk around without feeling completely exhausted wanting to go out. Before we had a little one to take care of. My husband and I traveled from our home just outside of Houston for a date night in Galveston. We went on a haunted history tour because, of course, we did. Why wouldn't you? Yeah, exactly.
Elena
You get the opportunity, you go on
Ash
that haunted tour, you gotta. You can't really bring babies on that. So I get it.
Elena
Not really.
Ash
Maybe, like, a little bit older kids, you know, but you're doing your damn thing. So. The island is one of the oldest cities in the country, so we wanted to learn more about the spooky history.
Elena
Boy, did we.
Ash
One of the first stops we made on the tour was to a spot that's now a parking lot. Oh, you put up a parking lot? Before the hurricane, it had been St. Mary's Orphanage. The story is truly heartbreaking. The nuns who ran the orphanage were trying to save the children, so they tied them together in lines like little ducklings. Each line was held by one of the sisters who tied themselves to the children. That way, if one child was being swept away, the other child and the sister could hold on to them. The lines of children walked through the flood and the storm to some trees in the area where they climbed up to try to stay away from the rushing waters. Unfortunately, the lines of the rope that were meant to save them did just the opposite. As the waters rose, the children on the lower branches would be swept away by the rushing waters and they would pull the whole line of children and the sister tied to them away as well. Out of the more than 90 children who lived in the orphanage, only three boys survived. The rest were drowned in the Gulf. We listened to the story and my husband took out his phone. He saw three orbs of light in the camera. He lowered his camera and there was nothing in front of him. And when he brought up the camera again, they were there. They were. He showed me and we thought maybe it was just a trick of the streetlights until the orbs started moving. He greeted them with a well, hello there.
Elena
Aw, that's really sweet. That's really cute.
Ash
And they moved even more. Not only did the orbs move, as we stood there listening to the story from the tour guide, they started following us on the tour. We told the tour guide later on the tour and they said, oh, are you expecting. Apparently this is a fairly common occurrence.
Elena
What?
Ash
That's nuts.
Elena
I love that.
Ash
This would have been a bit spooky. But that wasn't the last. We met with one of those children. My son was about 2 or 3 years old, playing in his room and we heard him talking, totally normal. He was playing with his toys. Then we started hearing him talking to someone. He was having a conversation. That's my worst fear.
Elena
Yeah.
Ash
Thinking very little of what he was doing because what two or three year old boy doesn't have imaginary friends. We asked my son who he was talking to. He said he was talking to his friend Haber. He comes by sometimes to play. We asked him more about his friend. He was an older boy. Oh, that's interesting, sweetie. What was he telling you? Oh, Haber said he has to stay in the tree. He has to what? Haber said that he stays in the tree. The tree outside your window? No, another tree. He can't come down. He has to stay up there to be safe.
Elena
I don't like it.
Ash
I'd be like, why did you come to my house? I'd be like, why are you here? It was cool when we were on the tour, but why did you come to my house?
Elena
It was cute when you were orbs. What's going on?
Ash
That's why when you leave a haunted place, you have to shake every. Like, if you don't want this to happen, you have to shake everything off. And you have to explain explicitly. Tell the entities, you cannot follow me. Welcome to come home. They can't follow you in your car anywhere.
Elena
We had to do that at the
Ash
USS Salem, and they actually instructed to do it. It was serious.
Elena
We did it at the S.K. pierce Mansion at Lizzie Borden. We've done it every single time.
Ash
We do it everywhere now. Yeah. Honestly, I'm gonna start doing at mom and papa's house. Truly fucking lot of those things. So, my ghoulish friends, I couldn't find the names of any of the children who were there, But I think my son's friend was telling him about one of the sisters who was in charge of the children. Sister Mary Kathryn Herbert. Want to know the other super creepy thing? Not long after, we were talking to our friend who was half a Romani. He told us he really doesn't care to go to a lot of older places because of the fun gift he inherited from his family.
Elena
He could see ghosts.
Ash
He confirmed that our house had several thankfully very friendly folks that like to hang around, one of whom was a young boy who was chilling near our son's room. That's so wild.
Elena
Imagine getting confirmation of that. Like, there's a bunch of ghosts in your house. They're friendly, though. I'd be like, that's sick.
Ash
Ye. I would love it personally, but it would make me.
Elena
That would be spooky.
Ash
Yeah, they would be really spooky.
Elena
And hearing that there's, like, a young kid that, like, hangs out by your son's room, I'd be like, I don't
Ash
think I'd love that.
Elena
I don't know about that.
Ash
I don't really want kid ghosts.
Elena
Yeah, kid ghosts freak me out, but
Ash
also, like, old people kind of suck,
Elena
so I know that's the thing. Like, where's the.
Ash
There's fun old people, you know, I
Elena
would love, like, a nice, you know, mid-30s.
Ash
Like an it's Britney ghost to, like, mid-40s.
Elena
Yeah. You know, like, we can chill watch Gilmore Girls.
Ash
All right.
Elena
You know, like, I feel like they're like, I don't really have the energy to do a lot.
Ash
Our son is much older now and hasn't spoken about Haber in years, so I suspect he just wanted a friendly kid to play for for a while. Play with for a while. The moral of this story is that if you want your kid to have a super friendly ghost friend who chills in his room and plays with the stuffed animals give off friendly parent vibes when you go on coast tours. If you don't want something following you home, though, maybe don't say hi or go while you're pregnant. That's good advice, I would say.
Elena
All right. And shake it off.
Ash
Yeah, you got to shake it off. And you got to establish the boundary.
Elena
You say, no, thank you.
Ash
No graphics.
Elena
Thank you, babe. Stay here. You.
Ash
You love it here. Stay here.
Elena
I like that. Anonymous. Thank you for that. Do you know that feeling when working out finally clicks? When you finally feel like you get in a routine, when you can see the results not just physically but also like emotional, mentally, all of it?
Ash
I don't know. Tell me about it.
Elena
I'm gonna tell you about it because finally when it clicks for me is when I get that clear headed feeling. I can. I actually look forward to my workouts because I feel like they're kind of like a reset for me.
Ash
Oh, heck yeah.
Elena
Heck yeah. It's honestly, it's worth it. You're. It's worth it. It's an investment in yourself, in every way that it can be. So I'm telling you, one way you can do this is with Peloton. Peloton helps you unlock all the expansive, joyful feelings that somebody gets through movement with the Peloton Cross training Tread plus powered by Peloton iq, Peloton IQ builds a workout road map that's completely yours so you can stop overthinking and just move, which is the hardest part.
Ash
I love that.
Elena
Peloton IQ provides intelligent strength coaching so you can stay in the moment. You can track every single rep, you can read every movement and guiding form in real time. So there's no second guessing because that's always my thing is I'm like, am I doing this right? And they're like, no, you're not. This is how you do it.
Ash
Don't second guess yourself, girl.
Elena
Don't do it. So spin the swivel screen too and feel what's possible. Moving from running to strength seamlessly without breaking any flow because we don't want to break that flow.
Ash
Reach your flow state.
Elena
Honestly, the clarity that comes when you stop negotiating with yourself. I'll just do it tomorrow. I'll. I'll start it next week. Maybe if I get in this routine, I'll feel better. Don't talk about it. Just do it.
Ash
Don't talk about it. Be about it.
Elena
And take it from me, because I'm the person who will continue negotiating with myself until I'm 80 years old. That I've yet to step on any single exercise equipment. So finally when I stopped and I just got on my peloton, I'm telling you, it's an investment. It's a worthwhile investment in yourself. So let yourself run, lift, fail, try and go. Explore the new peloton. Cross training Tread +@1peloton.com period.
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Chilling crime cases are mysterious, but finding coverage shouldn't be. With the State Farm Personal Price Plan, you have options and can personalize your plan to help create an affordable price so you can get back to cracking all of life's bigger cases. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Head to statefarm.com to get a quote. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Some stains are downright frightening. Mysterious spills, rogue chocolate smudges.
Ash
You know your kids are always coming
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home with those unidentifiable spots.
Ash
They always come home with those too.
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Ash
It says, get out of here, baby.
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Elena
The next one is Mimi the Shadow.
Ash
Horrifying.
Elena
I already love this. Ash and Elena, I came across your podcast during COVID As it was for the as it was for most people. My Covid experience wasn't just your typical Covid adventure. I had a newborn, another child that was potty training and a child in school.
Ash
That's horrific.
Elena
I'm so sorry. Yeah, my middle child had a pre existing condition and experienced seizures the few times we were exposed to the virus.
Ash
Holy shit.
Elena
That's awful. You did not have the normal experience. My youngest barely slept. My oldest also decided this was the time to hold on to the spiteful feelings for her siblings. That tag team ousted her from being an only child. On top of that, I have never ever been a homebody. I wasn't just crawling the motherfucking walls during COVID I would do anything to hear the voice of another adult. Whether it was talk about a new grout cleaning technique or 12th century cooking impact on Southern European politics or how to prepare for next year's taxes with fun new complicated forms. Anything. I like to consider myself as a high functioning Pisces. So when I found myself trapped with more than my usual downtime, even after I Marie Kondo'd every space in my house, I found myself asking casual everyday questions like how fast did DNA evidence help locate the Golden State Killer? Or did they really use handwriting analysis to figure out who Jap the Ripper was? No, you know, normal questions. Enter Morbid in all its glory. I have several weird stories, visits and impossible coincidences. This is my favorite weirdo tale that ended in some self healing. Oh, I love that. Despite the hell that was Covid, 2015 was easily the worst year of my life. Oh no. My father died unexpectedly the week my husband was supposed to deploy overseas.
Ash
Oh my God.
Elena
Which was delayed only a week to attend the funeral. Within the month, my husband's grandfather and stand in father figure also passed away. Worse, my husband deployed after my father's funeral but before his granddad passed. Oh my God. My father's funeral delayed his deployment and therefore did not allow enough time leave to actually attend his own granddad's funeral. Oh that's so sad. That's awful. Adding my husband's deployment location, he was unofficially denied attendance. It was awful. Furthermore, during my husband's deployment, I faced a series of adulting situations solo. We just moved three months prior so that I could start a new job in heavily Wooded nowhere Virginia I didn't have nearby or a very reliable family. My mom walked out when I was young and Disney hadn't picked up the rights to my stepmother's villain origin story yet.
Ash
Obsessed with you. Absolutely obsessed with you.
Elena
So with no one to even months after the funeral, I felt completely flattened. I'm so sorry. My young daughter had a lonely birthday and a few months after that she started Pre K. It was a struggle to get through the workday. And that is when I began to notice just how much my already chatty child had begun to talk to herself. A lot. It was exhausting enough to get up and go to work while taking care of a strong willed four year old Gemini during this time. Been there. So I don't really know what finally made me realize that my daughter was now talking and singing in what seemed like one sided conversations, sometimes for hours in her room or outside. Listen.
Ash
She might not have even been talking to ghosts. A Gemini can talk to a fucking wall. But I think she was talking to ghosts.
Elena
All energy was spent, minimally functioning and as my daughter is and always has been, talkative and imaginative. It wasn't until she started to sing songs I had never heard before and repeat. Mimi says Mimi did that. I even asked her what? Who this person Mimi was.
Ash
Remember when your middle used to talk about her other grandmother?
Elena
Yeah. She wanted to go visit her one time.
Ash
She got like legitimately angry at us because we were like, you can't go visit her.
Elena
I actually forgot about that. So I was saying like, no, that wasn't a thing. Yeah, that, that did happen.
Ash
She was weird in the world.
Elena
She was like upset.
Ash
And she would describe her grandmother's house, her other grandmother.
Elena
It was pink. Yeah. Yeah.
Ash
Weird.
Elena
Yeah. And I was like, you don't have another one.
Ash
And she would get like genuinely upset.
Elena
Yeah, she would.
Ash
So I feel like it was a place for her.
Elena
I don't know what's going on.
Ash
Kids are weird.
Elena
Men. They are. But actually I asked about her friend who I assumed was a friend from daycare, only to get a really judgmental look of disgust on a random trip to the store. My daughter then told me that Mimi never leaves the house. Whose house? I asked, confused. Our house, she answered. Oh, I said, feeling like an idiot and finally connecting the dots.
Ash
Oh, oh, okay.
Elena
I realized my child had to invent a friend just to cope with our super depressing home situation. I took it as a sign to start connecting with any potential new friends. I was already a black belt in mom guilt, so I feel that so while I contemplated if imaginary friends are signs of irreversible damage, knowing that my kid created an imaginary friend also somehow soothed me. As a military brat, she was already pretty resilient and the things they came up with were pretty cute. This was the little push I needed to rejoin the world. I also realized Mimi was a good friend. She never got into mischief, was never really blamed for anything broken or missing, and always came up with fun things to create or do. I would enjoy songs or games that I overheard while I cleaned or cooked dinner. Mimi was everywhere involved in everything. Sometimes I even stooped to using Mimi's approval or suggestions to get things Minnie struggles like tying shoes or brushing teeth over with again. This is a Gemini we're talking about. She could talk her way out of anything and I needed all the help I could get.
Ash
Some days, Geminis really do be like that.
Elena
It's true. When my husband returned from a deployment, having another adult in the house helped orient my grief back to normal or as close as you can get after loss and a series of life changing events. One ritual I managed to keep was that every night we read three books and sang three songs. One evening my husband volunteered to start reading, but our daughter said she was too busy for a book, telling him she wanted to play and he needed to leave.
Ash
She said, get out.
Elena
Leave. He tried to read a few times, only to be repeatedly dismissed. As he was interrupting her playing, my husband talked to our kiddo for a few more minutes, tucked her in, and then returned to our living room, seemingly amused but off. I was surprised he was back so soon, so I asked why? Because I met Mimi, he joked. Huh? I was surprised. I realized I hadn't told him about this imaginary friend. He then described walking into her bedroom after hearing her talking in a one sided conversation. Who are you talking to? He asked. Our daughter said Mimi. Who's Mimi? He asked, probably smiling ear to ear in his persistently optimistic labradoodle esque way. I love him response was so random that my husband decided to literally act out her response for me. I have to explain that my husband is very easygoing, not a man of many words, and even less likely to mentally unpack anything that he has experienced. He is adorably oblivious. I wouldn't say that he ignores things, but if he ever points something out, saying that it caught his attention really means something. He's the most live and let live person I know.
Ash
I love that.
Elena
To clarify, there are kitchen appliances that are higher maintenance than my husband's, so play acting his response was not only hilariously random of him, it is still a creepy joke we have. While I was lying down on our bed, my husband sat down on the floor next to me to act out our four year old's response to his question. Who's Mimi? She is singing and freezes annoyed mid song while she's seated on the ground looking down. She then very slowly, deliberately and intermittently lifted her eyes like they're slowly moving, then pausing and moving up again up like going up a five rung ladder. She then locked eyes with her father and said in an unnervingly hoarse voice, mimi's a shadow.
Ash
What the fuck? What the actual fuck,
Elena
bitch.
Ash
I don't know if I'm equipped for this.
Elena
I'm nervous. I would literally be like, love you so much. Good night.
Ash
That's why he, that's what he did. He was like, okay.
Elena
My husband said it was so creepy. But we were already laughing enough when I asked him to say it in the weird way she said it at least three more times. We laughed about how odd it was and I definitely got goosebumps. But we found the whole thing mildly entertaining. I shared with my husband that Mimi was a better friend than I ever had been. The year of loss and grief put a lot into perspective. I was motivated to make some changes and enjoy life more. Within a few years we were more settled, still struggling with the family loss. But Mimi visited less and less. We then moved further north to a city and stopped. Thank you girl. We moved further north to a city and stopped hearing about Mimi altogether. Ironically, my now teenager has no memory of Mimi despite their numerous songs that I recorded.
Ash
He always says that. He always says that shit. And that's where I sit normally. So please don't be there. Maybe he's a Beyonce fan.
Elena
To the left, to the left they're backyard walks to make fairy houses or multi course tea parties. Several months passed until I had an unexpected call with my grandmother, Gigi. Gigi is the unofficial mayor of her town. Love that for Gigi. She is in a nursing home a few states away, firmly within her community. By community I mean she's literally one phone call away from bootlegged boobs in her room or a ride to anywhere in town.
Ash
Queen.
Elena
I have called dozens of times for her to answer no, tell me she has to go because so and so is visiting or that she has to go because she has plans. So on a call catching up with Gigi, I'm telling her about our move from the woods to the city and how different it was. I was going on and on about taking a hike and all the great pictures we took. That's when she said yes. Mimi always loved that the best. And I felt like the blood drained from my body. Despite being a bit of a woo woo Pisces. I am a professional skeptic. I've had plenty of supernatural experiences, but I never first assume otherworldly explanations. I feel that I don't. I literally work in facts. So hearing Mimi's name surprised me. Hearing my very religious Gigi say the name that I had only heard in the context as an imaginary friend was bewildering. I got chills, my stomach did somersaults. That's when I realized I hadn't said anything. And Gigi just continued to talk about the weather and cute old lady things. I waited for a break in the conversation and finally, as normal sauce as you can, several minutes after moving on from a topic, I said, who did you say likes the fall? Who? Who? Who is that? I tried not to stutter. My mother. Mimi. Well, she went by Mimi. That's what we called her. She explained she had never talked about her mother and in her very Tennessee way. She then went on to inform me all about Mimi's people family background and their successful careers, football related achievements, love of animals and the water in the woods.
Ash
I love when southern people call like family their people.
Elena
They're people who are your people. Yeah, you're my people.
Ash
You're my people.
Elena
I love it. I went on to learn that Mimi was a very musical person. The song singing. She was a pianist, a violin player and a singer. This all made sense as my grandmother was in every singing group that would allow. They would allow her. Gigi also had a song for the most random drinking songs. Songs about people that don't mind their own business, etc.
Ash
I want to know that.
Elena
More Gigi shared the more I mentally came undone. But I couldn't say anything other than wow. Mimi was the oldest of three children and had a tough childhood. Apparently Mimi's mother divorced her D bag cheating husband when she was about 10 to raise Mimi and her brothers on her own. Mimi was kept to a high standard in school and she not only played the violin and piano and orchestra, she was in debate, glee club, Latin club, corps.
Ash
What is chorale like the Golden Corral.
Elena
Corral.
Ash
What's chorale?
Elena
Chorus. Oh, that's what that is.
Ash
Corral.
Elena
Corral. What is corral?
Ash
What is chorale? Tell me. Chorus.
Elena
And I love Mikey went it's course.
Ash
That's why I Said chorale flourish. I liked that.
Elena
Why?
Ash
It's coarse.
Elena
Of course, it's chorus and other clubs with names I do not understand. Okay, I'm glad you don't understand. She went on to meet her husband and have four children. Gigi said she didn't always see eye to eye with her mother, but Mimi didn't put up with anyone's nonsense.
Ash
Hella duh.
Elena
She encouraged Gigi not to marry young, but rather go to school and make her own money. This led my grandmother into a lifelong career in teaching, a gift she uses whenever she gets the chance.
Ash
Aww.
Elena
I had such an out of body experience hearing about Mimi. It never felt like a mere coincidence that my child's imaginary friend also had the nickname of my late great grandmother who happened to only be around during one of the darkest periods of my life.
Ash
I didn't even think about that part. Yeah, that's really beautiful.
Elena
I still have never met anyone or heard of my child knowing anyone with that name. This conversation was so upsetting that it took me years to even tell anyone, and I still can't share this story without getting very emotional. On top of that, this experience never qualified as a tell me about yourself without sounding batshit crazy kind of thing. So thank you for having a weirdo platform to share this. Of course, the most unnerving part of all of this is that Gigi is my mother's. My mother's mother. So having any discussion about mothers, let alone my mother, was taboo or upsetting. Conversations about my mother involve shame, guilt, or the insistence that I forgive her for her many transgressions. I heard that. So hearing that my own Gigi had issues with her mom was illuminating. I finally decided I needed to tell Gigi. With the complexity of our relationship and my own mother lingering in the background of every conversation like an uninvited specter. It took me nine full years to tell my grandma about this bizarre coincidence. It also took a while because it never felt right telling Gigi randomly through a phone call that maybe her late mother might have been visiting her great great granddaughter to take care of us while I was mentally a ghost myself. I couldn't have said the words out loud if I tried, and I did. So nine years later, I finally mustered the courage to share this experience with Gigi. At this point, she was in a nursing home after a bad fall and was having several complications. She also had found out my mother had recently committed some shenanigans with her bank account.
Ash
Why do people do that shit? We know him. Yep, we know Him.
Elena
I didn't know any of this was going on when I called, and she was so glad just to talk to someone. When I asked if I could share a weird story and then told her about Mimi the shadow guest, she took a long pause before speaking. The kind any sane person would need to take if their loved one told them that they were communicating with their dead mother. When she started to talk, I realized she had paused because she was crying. This was out of character and I started to feel like an idiot when she finally said thank you. That brings me a lot of comfort.
Ash
Aww.
Elena
She always has this power positive veneer. So when she went on to open up about the shitty things going on, she admitted her frustration of feeling like a burden and her disappointment with my mother. All things we had never discussed before. So then I cried. Even though it was due to me saying this possibly batshit crazy thing we were definitely being real discussing, her mother seemed to open the door to discuss her daughter with me for the first time in an honest way. It also confirmed that there was still an unbreakable motherly thread of love and human dignity in the non stop soap opera that is my family. We heard that. We heard. We were finally able to discuss a painful and unwelcome elephant in the room that seemed to taint every conversation I had with Gigi as an adult. It felt like we could finally move past what had been left unsaid. Since then, we've been able to talk more honestly about anything. I can call her for wisdom anytime. That is when she isn't too busy entertaining her neighbors or enjoying a bootlegged margarita.
Ash
What an absolute.
Elena
Mimi's visit seem to have healed us both. I've attached some photos of Mimi and her epic BOB below. I love a good bob.
Ash
I love a good bob. You need it. I know.
Elena
I kind of want like a ass bob.
Ash
You need a ass bob. Even looking at this length on you, it's not quite ass bob, but like, it's like the shorter length. The long length looks incredible, but the short length, you have that like, jaw that just like eat something.
Elena
Thank you. Yeah, I want a fuck ass.
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And that's from a hairdresser.
Elena
That is I take it seriously era.
Ash
Well, maybe I will snap. Maybe we'll snap. Clap.
Elena
So we're getting some photos of Mimi. I'm so excited. And an epic bob. Thank you for reading this and thank you for having the weirdo platform to read these stories. And in true Pisces fashion, keep it weird, but not so weird that you don't receive a possible message of loving comfort from a deceased relative that just wants to let you know that you aren't alone when you need it the most. Take it away, Ash. I think you did the dancing for me.
Ash
Like, oh, Mimi is a slave.
Elena
That's a ass ball.
Ash
Also the over the shoulder. Just like, bitch, you can't touch me.
Elena
She's like, I'm Mimi.
Ash
She said, I'm in the glee club. I'm in corral. She's like, that picture is giving. I'm in corral. She's a queen with her little choker.
Elena
Oh, that.
Ash
She's.
Elena
That me.
Ash
Oh, that's for the glee club.
Elena
She's. That she is.
Ash
Oh, there's Mo. Oh, Tea party with Mimi. So let the creep factor sink in. I love it.
Elena
Oh, I want to have tea parties with my great grandkids when I'm dead. You're gonna. I'm gonna.
Ash
That's. You know, you can do whatever you
Elena
want when you're done.
Ash
I'm pretty sure.
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Ash
about what you wear day to day,
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Ash
Refresh your everyday with luxury that you'll actually use.
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Ash
to talk about that.
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Ash
Packed to go.
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Ash
Take your daily ritual with you.
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Ash
Okay, the next one is all the Ghosties Love me, the listener tale of a creepy ass kid.
Elena
Oh, my God. The ghosties love me too.
Ash
I know they do love you. Apparently they hate me. Hey, guys. I'm Jaqui. Or Jackie. Or Jackie. I don't know. But you can just call me the girl who talks to ghosts, because that's what my first grade teacher used to call me behind my back.
Elena
What a.
Ash
What a bitch. I know.
Elena
She didn't talk about in your past. She didn't even make sure she couldn't
Ash
even say your name. Jaqui.
Elena
Yeah, Jaqui. Jaqui.
Ash
My ADHD is kicking in real hard, so there might be some spelling mistakes and I definitely rambled a bit. But I'mma just leave this here. I have to say I love you guys. Or can I just say that my boyfriend finds murder creepy and gets super uneasy when I have my headphones in and I'm laughing out loud because he knows I'm listening to you. Thank you for keeping it so weird that I have tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard at the two of you bullying a murderer. Yeah, bullying is only okay when the person is literal human trash. Yeah, period.
Elena
Agreed.
Ash
Anyways, let me tell you just one of the reasons I don't fuck with any superstitions.
Elena
Let's go.
Ash
Okay, look, I was always a kind of weird, kind of creepy kid.
Elena
Me too.
Ash
According to my mom, I chased away most all of my babysitters. At first I thought it was because our house backed an old Watertown. Yes, Massachusetts, Hell, yeah, cemetery. But they later found out that at least a couple of them were really just over me telling them about my friends. You know, the man in the wheelchair, the old lady with a red cane, or whoever else decided to hang outside my bedroom window who lived on the second floor.
Elena
That's weird. But don't leave.
Ash
What can I say?
Elena
I'm Friendly?
Ash
What kid has to say, yeah, I'm friendly in a good goddamn time. Yeah. My preschool class didn't think so, though. So none of them ever talked to me. Aw, I hate that.
Elena
That's not cool.
Ash
You're just a baby.
Elena
They're adults now.
Ash
You're just a baby. Elena will fight them. Trust me.
Elena
I'll fight them.
Ash
I guess they were a little older than me, but they always pretended that I didn't exist. At least from what I can remember. I remember being in this class and being ignored by the other kids who were older than me. Anyways, strap in.
Elena
One site.
Ash
Yeah, we'll fight them for you. Here's the story of my first ever full memory. My school was basically in our backyard, and my mom brought me there all the time. So you better believe my ass was confused when my teacher was in my room one morning waking me up because I was late for the class Easter egg hunt. What?
Elena
I'm sorry, did I.
Ash
Did I read that correct? Okay, okay. My mom grew up in Somerville during the Sugar Hill gang Whitey Bulga era.
Elena
Oh, no.
Ash
And her neighbor went missing when she was a kid. Oh. Plus, my friend group wasn't exactly kosher for a four year old, so you better believe that my house was nearly impossible to get into from the outside. Time to go. My teacher said. Get dressed, we're late.
Elena
I hate this in every way that you could hate someone.
Ash
Hey, so are you being kidnapped? Yeah.
Elena
What's going on? Where the Is your. Who's your teacher?
Ash
Well, I was 4, so I looked
Elena
them up in the news.
Ash
She waited for me to put on my white snow boots and my purple snowsuit all by myself. We were quiet because my parents were still sleeping.
Elena
I'm being kidnapped right now.
Ash
You're being kidnapped?
Elena
Somebody call somebody. Call someone I don't like. I'm upset.
Ash
Retroactive911, I'd like to report a kidnapping.
Elena
This as it's happening, happening.
Ash
My teacher took me, took my hand, and walked me outside to join the egg hunt. I was frustrated because the big kids were all finding the eggs and I hadn't got any. My not so tiny legs. Your girl is lanky. Kept getting stuck in the mounds of snow she was leading me through. I could retrace every step I took. I could tell you what the big kids said to tease me. I could reenact the entire day. It was my first real memory.
Elena
What kid is teasing a four year old? Also give me the names of every one of these kids because they're adults now and they Deserve to get walloped.
Ash
Walloped. She's into that word lately.
Elena
Walloped.
Ash
I like pummeled. So let's fast forward a couple of years when you weren't kidnapped.
Elena
Questionable. What happened. I don't want to fast forward a couple of years.
Ash
I got money.
Elena
What's going on?
Ash
Well, we have to fast forward a couple of years. I'm looking through old photo albums with my mom or the teacher that stole you. You know, 80s baby style. We come across this picture of me knee deep in a pile of snow, hair a mess and my purple snowshoe snowsuit. Was that my egg hunt? I asked my mom. She gave me a confused look. No, this is my first ever memory. The ugg hunt with my class. The look she gave me made me feel self conscious. Is that how you remember it? She asked. Yeah, with the Winnie the Pooh school. I'm so nervous now. She looked annoyed. I told her it was my first memory and that my teacher had to wake me up so that I didn't miss it. You still believe that? She asked me.
Elena
Obviously.
Ash
Well, of course. I have very vivid memories of that day. I remember the picture being taken when I found my first egg. I looked at the photo again and I was holding a snowball. No, Mom. I remember the egg hunt. Oh no, Jack, she said in the sweetest voice. That was the day you got up, got yourself dressed and went outside to play by yourself. Your dad and I almost lost it when you weren't in your bed. I didn't remember that. But I started flipping through the album to find the picture of me and my egg. I know you took the picture. Where is it? I asked my mom. She was shocked. There was no picture. There was no egg hunt. There was no teacher. There was no school.
Elena
What the fuck?
Ash
But I remember the big kids were always mean. They ignored me. I begged her to remember. You used to say that. She told me when you were younger. The big kids don't like me. You said it all the time. I remember some of their names, though. I remember who picked on me and who just ignored me. The Winnie the Pooh school mom. I begged her to remember the classroom. She took me to the room with Winnie the Pooh painted on the wall. She used my full name when she told me to cut the shit. And that's when I realized something was weird. Apparently when I was a kid, I didn't just have imaginary friends. I had an imaginary classroom.
Elena
What the.
Ash
Apparently my mom and I would sit and play in the cemetery for hours in the mornings. I have Real memories of this school. Vivid memories. I could draw a picture of the teacher that woke me up that morning if you asked me to. I used to tell my mom what I learned in school. Colors, numbers, the Alphabet. She always just went with it. Thirty years later, I found out I actually didn't go to school. Years later, when we were living in a different house. House. Don't worry. By that point, I had younger sisters. So I guess I finally had some real friends. I've never had the guts to look into the cemetery or a reason that I thought I was in school all of that time.
Elena
This is wild, but you can say
Ash
for sure that someone helped me get dressed that morning. Someone held my hand while I climbed through the snow. And I actually heard the big kids laughing at me when I only found one egg.
Elena
Which also, I will still fucking wallop them. Yeah.
Ash
Even if they're not real. In the afterlife, show all of them.
Elena
That pisses me off.
Ash
This was probably why I couldn't keep a babysitter for more than one night. Maybe spirits were my friends and my teachers. Even the big kid bullies never tried to hurt me. They just pretended I didn't exist. Maybe because they didn't see you, because they were just like ghosts and you weren't. This story doesn't really have a climactic ending, or even a point.
Elena
It was pretty climactic, I would say.
Ash
But to this day, I'm very respectful of spirit folklore, because spirits were always friends to me. Yeah, Ash, I'm gonna take this one and say keep it. So weird that spirits just want to be around you and you want to be and want to be your friends. Definitely keep it that weird.
Elena
I had no idea at any point during that story where it was gonna go next.
Ash
I thought that you fully got kidnapped.
Elena
I thought you were gonna discover that you had been kidnapped and you were traumatized. So they didn't tell you, and they just told you it was an egg hunt.
Ash
I thought so, too. I thought your mom was gonna be like Jack. I thought that you didn't know that you got kidnapped.
Elena
I thought we got past that. What?
Ash
She.
Elena
You just had a whole ghost school?
Ash
That's crazy, babe. I'm proud of you. That's wild, babe. Good for you, girl.
Elena
Damn. I'll still hit those kids for you.
Ash
Hit them?
Elena
They're. Now I'll hit them as adults.
Ash
Holy damn, you guys are creepy so far.
Elena
Yeah, you are crazy.
Ash
This one's creepy, too.
Elena
This next one's called Spoopy Ass Kids in a Haunted Daycare.
Ash
All right. Oh, good. Another school. Is this one real?
Elena
I hope so. Hello, ladies. My name is Hannah. Feel free to use my name because I will lose it if this is ever read on a Listener Tales episode. Lose it, Hannah.
Ash
Do you know what I just remembered? Recently, one time we took a. This was real. One time we took a field trip to this, like, school and we had to pick old timey names and I picked Hannah because it was of the choices. What the fuck? It was of the choices.
Elena
Why'd you have to pick an old timey name?
Ash
Because we were pretending to be old time by me. It was when I had that crazy sunburn member with the bubble.
Elena
Oh my God. Yeah, with the blister.
Ad
It popped at that.
Ash
It was like a one room school that we all went to for like a field trip. But why was Hannah an old timey name?
Elena
I. I don't know anything about any of this.
Ash
I picked it cuz one, I think it's pretty and two, it's a palindrome.
Elena
Oh, there you go. Hannah. Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. I like how you are, Hannah. Nice car. See what I mean?
Ash
Yeah.
Elena
That's weird.
Ash
I just randomly remember that the other day.
Elena
That's one of your first memories. There you go.
Ash
But not one of my first.
Elena
Was it real? Who knows?
Ash
It was real because of the sunburn.
Elena
Who can be sure?
Ash
Trust me, I'm sure. Sunburn rocked my life.
Elena
Sunburn. Wow.
Ash
I think it was a third degree burn. I. Yes, doctor. Dr. H was pissed.
Elena
I believe it.
Ash
Yeah.
Elena
Anyway, there's that. You know, Dr. H. So I changed the names of everyone involved for you, so no need to worry about them. Thank you. All right. You two are absolutely hilarious. Oh my God. Thank you. I've been listening to you since late 2020, and you both. It really is Covid. And you both brought so much joy to this insanity.
Ash
This insanity.
Elena
Whenever I need a mood booster, I know I can look forward to a new episode or find an old one to re listen to because you get it. And always provide a laugh when it's needed. I'm a fellow New Englander in your neighboring state of Connecticut. My youngest one would say Connecticut.
Ash
Connecticut.
Elena
Yeah. So all your New England cases really hit different. I wanted to share this listener tale because it was one of my best friend's favorite stories to be kept up to date on. She was going through cancer treatment while this was happening, so it was something I could tell her to make her laugh. She passed away in 2019. I'm sorry. And I miss her every day. Your banter and love for each other reminds me of her.
Ash
He said our power, sister.
Elena
Shit, that was crazy. Your banter and love for each other reminds me of her. And I can't thank you. And I. Don't you dare. Turn him off. I saw that Mikey.
Ash
Mikey just tried to silence Nicholas. And it's me he doesn't like. No, you're the liar. You're the liar.
Elena
See?
Ash
Wow.
Elena
Not like being silenced.
Ash
You're cheating.
Elena
Well, I got that mom peripheral vision that's like. Don't do that. Like you see it happen.
Ash
I thought you were scratching your leg, to be honest. Oh, no, he's. Look at him owning it.
Elena
Oh, no. He's gonna kill me.
Ash
What did he say? Well, girl, don't silence a ghost. He's so bad. Somebody already tried to silence him because he's dead.
Elena
He's dead, all right. This is a tale from my days of working in a daycare.
Ash
Oh, God.
Elena
When I started at the school, I was given a brief history of the building. It was originally built as a wealthy family's house, then turned into a restaurant bar and finally became a school. Seems like a logical progression, right? Sure. It's an artsy, nature based bougie school for kids. Birth to kindergarten, birth. In my classroom to school, you go learn. A two year old room where there was. There was a large fireplace that went floor to ceiling in the middle of the room. It was raised, so we put pillows in it to make a space we called the cozy nook for kids to relax in.
Ash
Wait, you let them relax in the fireplace?
Elena
I doubt it was work, guys. My favorite part of the job was basically telling the kids to sit in the fireplace when they needed to calm down. Can't say that every day. The teacher said. The year before, one kid always used to ask, what's in the nook? When it was empty. Who's in the nook? Or who's in the nook? I thought they were just trying to fuck with me as the new teacher, but old ladies, was I dead wrong.
Ash
Old ladies, was I wrong? And I was like, excuse me.
Elena
She said, old bitches, let me tell you.
Ash
She said, you elderly fucks.
Elena
Sometime in November, one of the boys pointed to the top of the fireplace, looked at me and said, it's a ghost.
Ash
Okay.
Elena
All I could think was, nope, there was nothing there. So I ignored it.
Ash
She say early November? Yeah, Bayless. Then there you go.
Elena
He was 2 and still learning English, so I just hoped ghost was another word for something much less ominous in his language. He ended up moving to at the end of the month. So I figured it was over. Little did I know it was just beginning. Oh, good. In January, I was sitting behind the fireplace at the snack table with another girl, Julie. Julie looked at me and said, there's a ghost. And when I asked where, she just casually said, it's here. Now you may think, all right, this little ragamuffin heard for this from someone else and was just repeating it since she was 2. And what else do you do it to? No freaking way. This girl was beyond her years when it came to her language. You could have a full conversation with her and convince yourself she was a kindergartener in kindergarten, even though she could fit in your pocket. She was the only kid who I would, hands down, believe. I mean, the kid built a Panera out of blocks one morning. How can you not trust her judgment? I respect that little bit. Chills all day. The next day during lunch, four kids started laughing, getting really silly, and pointing to the spot my old student pointed at in November. The spot above the fireplace. I should also mention, this is like 8ft off the ground. The teachers couldn't even reach the top. One of the girls at the table turns and looks me dead in the eye before saying, that's not safe. That baby shouldn't be up there.
Ash
What the fuck?
Elena
Again, nothing was there. My heart dropped into my butt and I was like, yup, it's time to leave this place. The crescendo of the haunting was two days later. I was having a snack with Julie again when she finally cut. When she calmly stated, I can't understand, I asked about what she was listening to. The school was on a busy road and there was always something fun happening outside. She looks up from her homemade granola cereal again. Bougie at Boozy Ass School with personal chefs. To say, what's he. What he's saying? I can't understand what he's saying to me now, sitting there, probably hungover from wine. Wednesday, I partook in the night before. I'm like, I don't have the energy for this bullshit today. When I asked who was talking, figuring she meant one of her three classmates also sitting with us, she said, him. That red guy. While pointing to the empty chair next to me. Ladies, my Uber was there. I looked up at her, my heart now in my toes, and asked her to tell me success. And asked her to tell me again who who it was. And she said, that guy. That stripey guy over there, and pointed next to the table. My mind went to a million places at that point I think, all right, you motherfucker. There's either one small child in red stripes walking around or we have accumulated three ghosties. A baby, someone covered in blood and an old time escape prisoner. Personally, I wasn't about any of the these options. Best part of all of this, I was the last one to take my break. So for an hour every day I had to sit in the class alone.
Ash
I'm not going to get up again because that didn't go well last time. But that just said his name.
Elena
He just said Nicholas. He's astute, Nicholas. You are astute. Okay, so she had to sit in there alone. Wait, I don't know what else to do. So she had to sit in there an hour every day during lunch or during nap time in a pitch black room with 16 sleeping children and a loud ass noise machine going oh, that would overstimulate me in a way I can't describe. Oh, I would fall asleep, can't even count how many times. Everything would be dead silent and one kid would wake up crying. Or I'd look up from my paperwork to see one of the gremlins awake and just silently staring at me from their cot. Nightmare fuel anyone?
Ash
You just gotta look at them and
Elena
say don't do that, don't do that. Go back to sleep. None of the children were ever frightened or upset by the ghost. If anything it would make them laugh if it thought no one was watching. For the rest of the time I worked there, I walked in and greeted the ghost ghosts in the morning to let him slash them know we were taking care of the room and we were making sure the kids were safe. Other teachers are now in that classroom and they let me know that their children wake up in screaming during nap.
Ash
So it's going a little differently now, a little different.
Elena
I told them just to greet him and their kids haven't been bothered since.
Ash
Also he just wanted to be recognized.
Elena
He was like, just say hello, that's my garage. Just in case anybody hears that the school's chefs have been have seen someone running through the school on weekends and heard footsteps upstairs when there are only the two of them in the building. That's freaky. I've tried researching the history of the school but sadly I can't find any anything. Basically I just laugh thinking about that crazy ass ghost fucking up teachers days while making kids laugh. I've since moved on to a new career as a sonographer. I'm about to start an evening shift where I expect to see some insanity on A different level. But I always laugh thinking about my otherworldly friends back at the school. I hope to see you both at a live show soon.
Ash
You should come to Radio City.
Elena
Keep it weird, but not so weird that some little asshole kids tell you about the spooky individual invisible murdered prisoner baby sitting next to you. And then you sit alone in a dark room. It is strange. And then you sit alone in a dark room wondering who's watching you. Bye.
Ash
Bye.
Elena
That was a scary one.
Ash
That was spooky. I like that.
Elena
It was either a baby, someone, a bloody man, or an old timey prisoner, what have you. All those are really.
Ash
Take your pick.
Elena
That's scary.
Ash
Yeah, that's spooky.
Elena
Those are good. Wow.
Ash
If you guys have listener tales, please send them in to morbidpodcastmail.com with listener tale somewhere in the subject line.
Elena
Yeah, Nicholas will love it. He'll appreciate it.
Ash
He literally said his own name.
Elena
He said his name.
Ash
That's actually wild. He was like, say my name.
Elena
Say my name.
Ash
And then he was like, I'll do it.
Elena
He's like, I'll tell me about it.
Ash
Maybe he is a Beyonce fan.
Elena
He said tell me about it.
Ash
Say my name. Destiny's Child. Yeah, Beyonce's it not right?
Elena
Yeah.
Ash
See?
Elena
Yes.
Ash
Do you like Beyonce?
Elena
Are you in the bee house?
Ash
I just. Yeah, the way he said tell me about it. He got a little. All right, well, we love ya.
Elena
We do.
Ash
We hope you keep listening.
Elena
We hope you keep it weird.
Ash
But not so weird that you don't reach out to Beyonce until her. We got a fan in the office.
Elena
Am I right?
Ash
Nicholas from the afterlife?
Elena
Got anything else to say. It?
Ash
Sam.
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Ash
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Elena
Stop. This is Simplisafe. Police are on the way.
Ash
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Elena
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Hosts: Ash Kelley & Alaina Urquhart
Original Air Date: May 28, 2026
In this “Listener Tales” installment of Morbid, Ash and Alaina share a collection of chilling, hilarious, and heartwarming paranormal stories submitted by their listeners—focusing on ghostly children, mysterious imaginary friends, haunted daycares, and eerie ancestral connections. The tone balances spooky with laughter, as the hosts riff on the weirdness (“kids say the creepiest things”) and tackle each increasingly eerie tale with empathy, skepticism, and unfiltered New England banter.
[04:33 - 10:56]
[10:58 - 17:42]
[22:13 - 38:44]
[43:29 - 50:41]
[51:23 - 61:14]
Keeping with Morbid’s signature blend of dark humor, sibling energy, and empathetic curiosity, Ash and Alaina accompany each spooky listener story with laughter, genuine concern, and honest contemplation about life, death, and the afterlife. The conversation is peppered with asides about their own weird kids, pop culture, and classic New England one-liners.
This episode’s listener tales remind us that the paranormal isn’t just about old houses and shadowy corners—often, the most hair-raising, touching, and bizarre supernatural experiences happen in the midst of daily life, thanks to kids, grandmothers, and loved ones passed on. Through shared laughter and scares, Ash and Alaina provide both comfort and goosebumps, leaving listeners with the hope that—should any ghosts drop in—maybe they’ll bring a bit of warmth, insight, or just a spooky story to tell.
If you have a story to share, email morbidpodcastmail.com with “listener tale” in the subject line.
Stay weird—and don’t forget: if a kid tells you about the spooky invisible murdered prisoner baby sitting next to you…just say hi and keep it movin’.