More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby
Episode 32: "I Cut Ties with My Mom for 4 Years… Walking Through Forgiveness"
Release Date: May 8, 2025

In Episode 32 of "More Than Reality", hosts Adam and Danielle Busby delve deep into the profound journey of forgiveness, particularly focusing on Danielle's personal experience of severing ties with her mother for four years. This heartfelt episode not only explores the complexities of familial relationships but also offers listeners valuable insights into the transformative power of forgiveness.

1. Setting the Stage

The episode begins with Danielle opening up about unspoken pain and the burden she carried due to her strained relationship with her mother. She candidly shares,

"I've never spoken about this ever, ever. But because this has been weighing on me for like, last couple weeks, I feel like it's okay to really, like, open up about this and be real." ([01:01])

2. Navigating a Busy Family Life

Adam and Danielle discuss the challenges of maintaining personal relationships amidst their hectic family life, especially with Adam's frequent travels. They highlight the importance of balancing "girl time" and "guy time," emphasizing that maintaining individual friendships is crucial for personal growth and marital harmony.

"If there's something that he does with guys, like, the water went down the wrong hole, if there's something that your husband enjoys doing, I think it's important that they have time at least monthly to do that." ([20:26])

3. The Central Theme: Forgiveness

The core of the episode revolves around forgiveness. Danielle introduces the topic by reflecting on her attendance at a women’s retreat, where forgiveness became a pivotal theme for her.

"I'm going to talk about forgiveness and not just like, I'm sorry, like a true peaceful forgiveness with you and the Lord, like what, how different that is, what that means and what it can do for you to truly allow yourself to forgive." ([28:22])

3.1 Understanding True Forgiveness

Danielle shares her personal struggle with forgiving her mother, acknowledging the complexity and depth of her emotions. She explains how unresolved issues can fester and affect other relationships, including her marriage and interactions with her sisters.

"When you are hurting from unforgiveness, it doesn't just affect maybe a relationship. If you're in some state of unforgiveness, it's probably with someone, and that's going to disrupt or bring a level of change within the relationship." ([29:16])

3.2 Steps to Achieve Forgiveness

Adam and Danielle outline a five-step process to effective forgiveness:

1. Naming the Pain: Acknowledge and identify the hurtful experiences.

   "It's a process and you got to work on it daily." ([60:54])

2. Honesty About Hurt: Be truthful about what caused the pain without minimizing it.

   "Things are hurtful, things were never addressed, and we just didn't deal with it." ([38:20])

3. Praying for the Other Person: Seek spiritual guidance and pray for the well-being of the person who caused the hurt, independent of their acknowledgment or apology.

   "The third step is just. Just constantly praying for that. Pray for that person. Not because they deserve it, but because your heart does." ([61:36])

4. Setting Boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries to protect oneself while still forgiving.

   "Forgiveness doesn't mean that, like, oh, you know, in this scenario, I've forgiven, like, let's let her come over tomorrow." ([61:48])

5. Speaking it Out Loud: Vocalize the act of forgiveness to reinforce the commitment to let go of resentment.

   "Just to hear yourself say it as well. I mean, I mean, even just like, whenever, you know, I'm struggling with something, and sometimes you just need to get things out and hear yourself say it." ([62:10])

4. Danielle’s Personal Journey

Danielle recounts her decision to distance herself from her mother four years ago, a move that was essential for her emotional and spiritual healing. She explains how therapy sessions with her sisters unveiled the depth of their dysfunctional relationships, which she previously hadn't fully comprehended.

"Growing up and all the relationships with my mom, like, it never really realized how dysfunctional things were until I've overcome forgiveness." ([38:22])

She emphasizes that forgiveness was not about excusing her mother's behavior but about freeing herself from the lingering pain and bitterness that hindered her personal growth.

"I just let God come into that space of, like, healing. That's where I stopped expecting my mom to fix the hurt that she's caused me. And I just went to Jesus with it, you know, and it's like, freedom." ([58:27])

5. The Impact on Relationships and Mental Health

Adam adds that holding onto unforgiveness can have far-reaching effects beyond the immediate relationship, impacting one's overall mental and emotional well-being.

"Forgiveness is freedom. I mean, it's not a sign of weakness, honestly. Like, forgiveness is a sign of strength, being able to do that and own it and not let resentment and bitterness define you and own you." ([64:32])

6. Encouraging Community and Sharing

Throughout the episode, Adam and Danielle encourage their listeners to engage with the podcast community by sharing their own stories of forgiveness. They highlight the therapeutic value of sharing and hearing others' experiences, fostering a supportive environment for healing.

"If you have gone through something and have a powerful story or meaningful story about forgiveness, leave it in the comments." ([66:33])

7. Conclusion

In wrapping up, Danielle reiterates the importance of not harboring anger, fear, or resentment. She encourages listeners to lean into prayer, seek support from their communities, and embrace the transformational journey of forgiveness.

"Forgiveness doesn't have to be the person to person. Those hurts can never be. There's a lot of things that human cannot understand or not repair, but Christ can because he forgives us daily." ([64:32])

Adam closes the episode by reinforcing that forgiveness is a journey toward personal freedom and emotional liberation.

"Forgiveness is freedom. It’s not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength." ([64:32])

Key Takeaways

• Forgiveness is a Journey: True forgiveness involves recognizing and naming the pain, seeking spiritual healing, and setting healthy boundaries.
• Personal Growth: Letting go of resentment leads to emotional freedom and better relationships.
• Community Support: Sharing and listening to others' experiences can aid in the healing process.
• Spiritual Guidance: Incorporating faith and prayer can provide strength and clarity in the path to forgiveness.

Notable Quotes

• "I've never spoken about this ever, ever. But because this has been weighing on me for like, last couple weeks, I feel like it's okay to really, like, open up about this and be real." — Danielle Busby ([01:01])

• "Forgiveness is freedom. It’s not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength." — Adam Busby ([64:32])

• "If you have gone through something and have a powerful story or meaningful story about forgiveness, leave it in the comments." — Danielle Busby ([66:33])

This episode serves as a profound exploration of forgiveness, illustrating how confronting and healing from past hurts can lead to personal peace and stronger, healthier relationships. Adam and Danielle provide both a personal narrative and practical steps, offering listeners a roadmap to navigate their own journeys of forgiveness.