
In this heartfelt episode, Adam and Danielle open up about their daughter Parker’s early battle with anxiety — and the small, intentional parenting steps that helped her grow into the confident, joyful girl she is today. From emotional milestones to...
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Adam Busby
A lot of people have been asking about Parker because we went down that road with Parker where we started noticing at a very young age she had anxiety. Whenever Parker was like little. That kid was glued to my side, doddy and so cute. Like she was just always right there and I would look down and she's just looking at me and just smiling.
Danielle Busby
This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into all things faith, family and marriage and share that there is so much more than the reality that you see on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby.
Adam Busby
Welcome to More Than Reality podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby. This is episode 39.
Danielle Busby
Nice. We're almost to my age.
Adam Busby
There we go. We're getting up there. We're like middle aged now. In podcast world, kids are home.
Danielle Busby
Summertime, you never know when they're going to be in or out.
Adam Busby
Yeah. We're shooting this late into the evening and so kids are just like. We just had to. Right before we started, we had to like yell because they were like all. Yeah, they just screaming and playing upstairs.
Danielle Busby
They just came downstairs with their face mask on.
Adam Busby
That's what they're doing.
Danielle Busby
They're 10, they need face masks.
Adam Busby
Yeah. It's like skin care is a big deal at a 10 year olds, apparently.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. We gotta be cautious about what we actually are letting them put on their face because that's. They don't need.
Adam Busby
Read the labels.
Danielle Busby
Yeah, they don't need it. And plus, it's just going to make their skin worse because it's just gonna deplete. Yeah. Their skin's not mature enough for a lot of those things that are included in the ingredients. And it's just gonna make them either break out, dry out.
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
Then it's gonna make them want to use more products and they like trick.
Adam Busby
Your body into like thinking, oh, I don't need to produce this because it's already there. Something like that already present.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. So I've been thinking about trying to create Clean Teen.
Adam Busby
Clean Teen. I wonder if that's out there.
Danielle Busby
Clean Teen.
Adam Busby
Trademark that.
Danielle Busby
Clean Teen. I mean, they're not teen. I mean, the quints aren't teenagers. They're just preteens. But they don't really need anything. But maybe some moisturizer on their face. And we live in down in the south, and it's. There's enough humidity down here.
Adam Busby
My face is oily enough as it is.
Danielle Busby
Some are at sleepovers, some are running around. Some are sleeping already.
Adam Busby
Really?
Danielle Busby
Yeah. Hazel's crashed out on the couch.
Adam Busby
I went up there before dinner, right before I started cooking dinner, and one of them was asleep. Yeah, they were watching something on Disney plus or something. One of them was crashed. Must be nice being 10 years old, not a care in the world. All for summer.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. Besides, I can't wait to put my face mask on.
Adam Busby
Oh, yeah. Let's work on our skin routine.
Danielle Busby
Well, Blake just got back from summer camp. She went to church.
Adam Busby
Blake was gone for, like, almost a week.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. So it's good to get her back, see her face, hug her. She had a great time. Which is always weird to, like, drop your kid off and not.
Adam Busby
Because they're not allowed to have cell phones while at camp. So they have to, like. I don't know if they turn them in or they have to turn them off or whatever. And they're not allowed to use them until. Until the end of the week. Oh, they just quote, unquote, not supposed to bring them.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. Or they turn them in. I don't know. One or the other.
Adam Busby
I remember whenever I led, if kids had cell phones, like, they'd have to pass them up to us, and we'd put them in a bag and we'd hold onto them till the end of the week.
Danielle Busby
I don't know.
Adam Busby
Maybe they do that.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. Maybe the honest kids actually turn their phones in.
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
But, yeah, she had a good time at camp, which was good. There was a lot of kids at this one. But she's come back. There was quite a few kids that came back with, like, strep throat and getting sick. So she's kind of did fine the next day, but now she's kind of under the weather, so here goes.
Adam Busby
I feel like that's going around because there was somebody at the office that kept coughing and was complaining about a sore throat.
Danielle Busby
Yeah, happens. Okay.
Adam Busby
It's weird for, like, colds to come through during summer, though. Yeah, it's usually, like, a winter thing. Take your vitamins, guys. I've been going hard on vitamin D3K2. I felt the difference, like in. I've been taking that, like I'm deficient in energy. I've only been doing it like I took it for a while but like it was just D3. And then I read something like. I don't know if like K2 is like a cofactor or something like that or helps if it's orbit or something like that, but you need to get like D3K2. And so I ordered D3K2 now. So now my just regular D3 bottle is just sitting. I don't know if I should like take them both at the same time. I've been taking D3s in it. Yeah, I don't know. But I don't know. I've. I've. I feel like I've felt a difference just in like energy levels and stuff like that over the course of the day. I feel like I sleep better.
Danielle Busby
Do you really need to sleep better?
Adam Busby
I don't know. I did not sleep the other night. I know that you, like stayed up on your laptop.
Danielle Busby
I know.
Adam Busby
I was trying to like things 2:00 clock in the morning and I kept. You may think I'm sleeping, but like, I'll like, I'm awake and I'm like laying there and then I'll get up and like turn over.
Danielle Busby
And I was trying to finish some.
Adam Busby
House things I need to get you.
Danielle Busby
Doing done on the computer. And I was like, you're not going to bed.
Adam Busby
And you're like. You weren't just like sitting back?
Danielle Busby
I was for a while, but then my back. So I was stretching, woke up.
Adam Busby
I woke up and I looked over at you and you're on your knees sitting on your feet, like leaning forward with your computer at the foot lower back out. So I was leaning she doing leaning forward.
Danielle Busby
I was almost done. I was like, oh, my back hurts from sitting like this. So I like just stretched forward to finish.
Adam Busby
I finally like bit the bullet and like joined the team. Over at Good Ranchers, we like have a corporate membership at like Lifetime Fitness. And so like we provide that for all the employees and stuff. For the longest time I've just been going to my other gym pretty much like equidistant to like this lifetime. Maybe like three extra minutes to get to the lifetime. So I've just been going to my other gym. I'm like, well, I'm going here. I'll just keep going here. But this morning, the morning I couldn't, the night that I couldn't sleep. I was going to wake up and go there. I felt like I couldn't sleep because, like, you weren't asleep. And then I just didn't want to wake up. Sounds like, well, dang it, I'll just go. Try to go at lunchtime or something. So I ended up going at lunch. I decided, like, I was going to go ahead, just sign up and start going there because if we do end up moving further that direction, it'll be closer to that gym. So I was like, well, I might as well just start going anyway. Don't every gym, any gym with, like, a swimming pool, they all have that same smell that really, it's. It's not even chlorine. It's like chlorine mixed with, like, a sweat. No, it's not even, like a sweat smell, but it's just the same smell. I don't know if it's. I think it may be like that smell. Whatever they put in the. The steam, saunas, it permeates through the entire. Because I remember what it was like. It was like at that. That. At South Shore Fitness. And the gym that I go to now doesn't have a swimming pool, and so you don't smell that there. But then started going to this new place and it's just like. It just takes me back. Whenever I used to go to my old gym, they had a swimming pool and steam.
Danielle Busby
I've only been there, like, once to that gym. It's nice.
Adam Busby
So it just made me feel like I was 10 years. 10 years ago. Just you walk in, it's instantly. It's like that same smell and it just, you know, like, smells just, like, bring you back. Yeah. But today we have two sponsors for the podcast. Our first is Good Ranchers. It's a really good time to buy because it's summertime and you're going to be grilling a lot.
Danielle Busby
And.
Adam Busby
And so right now, Good ranchers is offering $40 off with our code Busbee. So you can go to goodranchers.com It's 100% American meat. Everything's born, raised, harvested, all in the US everything that's on the ingredient list is labeled on the package. And that's a very short ingredient list because it's only meat. No hormones, no antibiotics, none of that crap that they fill it with. So thank you, Good Ranchers, for sponsoring this episode.
Danielle Busby
Yep.
Adam Busby
Goodranchers.com American me delivered. Yep.
Danielle Busby
To your door. Oh, I went to California. That's right.
Adam Busby
Danielle did go to California, too.
Danielle Busby
I went to the Live action.
Adam Busby
It was a live. It was live action. Like affiliated.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. It was their first women's summit. They did just Women and the Gallas in September.
Adam Busby
Oh yeah.
Danielle Busby
But yeah, it was good.
Adam Busby
It's a good little short Huntington Beach.
Danielle Busby
Yeah, it was a good little kind of 24 hour little trip there and back. But the weather was amazing.
Adam Busby
Good ranchers sponsored that one too.
Danielle Busby
Yes.
Adam Busby
You see my banner with all my photos?
Danielle Busby
What?
Adam Busby
Yeah, we have like a.
Danielle Busby
The tall banner.
Adam Busby
Yeah, I took all those photos.
Danielle Busby
Okay, cool. Good job.
Adam Busby
I think it's just fun to like see all the like the promotional stuff and we do and say, oh yeah, shout all that.
Danielle Busby
Well, I thought you're talking about the new one. The. The one that they put behind like the, the table. Because it was a cowgirl. Because it was a girl. I thought that was so cool.
Adam Busby
Yeah, we tried to do like a whole one that's like more feminine, like women centric themed. Like hey now, you know, we have stuff that's like good ranchers. You think of like good ranchers, like men, like ranchers, like riding horses, stuff like that. So we're like, it's a women's conference. Let's do some new stuff. Yeah, it was all like red and it was fun.
Danielle Busby
So we, we kind of look like Valentine when we got to California. Oh, let's go run to the TJ Maxx. TJ Maxx. Well, for those of you who know what that means, that joke or that funny story I couldn't tell you the.
Adam Busby
Last time I walked into TJ Maxx.
Danielle Busby
Hello. The one over there was amazing. It was so good.
Adam Busby
It is cool to go to like places like Marshalls and TJ Maxx and stuff whenever you like travel away and go to like a different city.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
See all the stuff that they have there that you don't have.
Danielle Busby
It was like a T.J. maxx Home Goods. It was like a combined. So it was big, but it was good. And so we were going in there. She wanted to get like some like cactus and like some like things just to decorate on the table with that. We couldn't really like just carry on with us in the airplane. And so everyone had this idea to let's go work out in the morning to go on the beach. But no one had anything. I didn't even have tennis shoes. It was just one night I wore. I had a dress for the night and then something to wear for the next day and then come and home, you know. And so we're like, oh, let's just get something Here at Marshall. So we all got, like, something athletic or whatever.
Adam Busby
Did y' all even work out?
Danielle Busby
No. And that's the fun part. That is not so funny. That morning came around. We actually all went to bed early. Yeah, yeah.
Adam Busby
No kids.
Danielle Busby
Yeah, we all chose to sleep in. But it made a funny story. Like, we all got this workout outfit and then slept in to go walk on the beach. And it was so pretty and everything. But, yeah, sleep probably always wins for me, for sure.
Adam Busby
100% good time.
Danielle Busby
Met some people, got to see some people that you know.
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Danielle Busby
Into at some of these events, and ran into a friend's cousin that just happened to be there. And I was like, a small world. It was a good, good event. Lots of amazing speakers, and I learned a lot. There's actually two doctors that I want to get on our podcast to share, because I was amazed by a lot of things that they were talking about when it comes to, like, fertility and just, like, medical. Medical things when it comes to, like, infertility, things that I didn't know, especially. It's something I wish I would have known prior to walking that season of.
Adam Busby
Life, like, whatever they're like. A lot of doctors will tell you this, but there are other options.
Danielle Busby
Right? And that was a lot of it, too. Like, telling you something out of fear. Well, out of fear, but also out.
Adam Busby
Of just straight statistics and just pure medical.
Danielle Busby
And, you know, there's always other options to look into. And so I just. I learned a lot. There's. I mean, Lisa Revere was there. Like, she's one of my favorite. She's just, like, powerhouse.
Adam Busby
She is a strong woman.
Danielle Busby
Man, Lila was good. I mean, everybody. Everybody who talked there. Riley Gaines was there. I didn't get to see her because they were running behind him. We had a. We had to leave a little bit earlier. Yeah. I mean, there's a bunch of great speakers. There was, like, 14, I think, so Learned a lot, got to see a little Couple, like, insight, little visual things for the women's conference I'll do in October. So picked up a couple little tips here and there, some ideas, extra ideas. So that was, you know, double whammy. Thank you, Cozy Earth, for sponsoring this podcast. And Cozy Earth's mission is to transform that 5 to 9, and that is what Matters most of the day. So whether it's you're sleeping in their breathable, amazingly cozy bamboo sheets or their soft everyday tea, which I love, because guess what you can do with that everyday tea. You can wear it all day and then you can sleep in it all night on your Cozy Earth sheets. You will be not getting out of bed. So, hey, hope it's the weekend for you. But you can get 40 off using code more more than@cozyearth.com so thank you, cozy Earth, for sponsoring this podcast and sleep cooler, lounge lighter and stay cozy. Use code more than at checkout for.
Adam Busby
40 off Cozy Earth, where sanctuary awaits. And now back to the X. I got a connect card right here. How did your family celebrate birthdays and holidays growing up?
Danielle Busby
Like, my birthday?
Adam Busby
Yeah. Just birthdays in general.
Danielle Busby
I think we've always been. We were always family, Cousins all around, aunts and uncles. If I look at, like, my birthday or my sister's birthday, we always had, like, that family thing. We didn't really have.
Adam Busby
All the family got together.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. And kind of something we still do today, like, with my sisters and stuff. When it's a family, any of us 16, we all find a day where we're celebrating and doing dinner and cake and stuff. So I love that. Carrying on that, like, tradition with us.
Adam Busby
But did you ever have, like, a. Like a big, like, group of your friends over for, like, a sleepover?
Danielle Busby
No, I never. Never had, I think for my sisters, like a party?
Adam Busby
No, just friends.
Danielle Busby
I never had that growing up.
Adam Busby
Really.
Danielle Busby
I never had, like a. Just like a birthday party. Was always just family.
Adam Busby
See, mine was always.
Danielle Busby
My birthday was two days before Christmas.
Adam Busby
Mine was always. Of course, your birthday never changes, but.
Danielle Busby
Yours was always in the summer.
Adam Busby
Oh, it's always a summer birthday. It's crazy. Just happened to be every year during the summer.
Danielle Busby
It might happen to be two days before Christmas every year.
Adam Busby
Oh, that's true. You get screwed.
Danielle Busby
No, I mean, as a kid, it was fun. I mean, but I didn't know anything different. But as I got older, and you would go to, like, your friend's birthday and, like, it's like, all your friends there or whatever. I never had that. And I just assumed. Oh, because it's right before Christmas. But I think my sister. My sister's birthday, they're twin, so they're in November, and they. I mean, they would have, like, a couple friends over. I mean, they had, like, some sleepovers at a time. But I never had, like. I think Emily would, like, come over for, like, the family Thing. But we. I never had just like friends over, so I think that's probably why I'm like, love birthdays and like, like love to celebrate our kids and.
Adam Busby
But also your birthday is just like a weird time to have, like, hey.
Danielle Busby
But I'm thankful that's the day.
Adam Busby
I know. But like, I'm just talking about with like scheduling, getting friends over because it's like two days before Christmas. Holidays are jam packed. Your friends may be over at family or out of town and stuff like that. So it's probably. It was probably a lot more difficult just because.
Danielle Busby
Yeah, time wise.
Adam Busby
Time wise time of year. Mine was June 10th. And so it's like right in the middle of summer out of school. Growing up, we had this huge swimming pool.
Danielle Busby
I'm sorry. This was my card.
Adam Busby
Oh, sorry. But every.
Danielle Busby
I'm just kidding.
Adam Busby
Every single year, we had like, I pretty much just had a big swim party.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
And so I just. I remember that like every year we'd always take like a big group photo on the diving board. How often you see diving boards?
Danielle Busby
We were looking at houses and Parker was with me.
Adam Busby
You're like outlawed or something because of insurance.
Danielle Busby
This one house had beautiful backyard and the pool. And Parker's like, oh, look, mom, they got a slide. And look, they got that thing over there like they have on sand lot where they jump off of it.
Adam Busby
Diving board. They don't even know what it's called.
Danielle Busby
I was like. And the realtor's like, a diving board. I'm like, yeah, diving board. But it was so funny that Parker. Because we had just watched sandlot like the day or two before, and she was like, you know when he jumps off into the water.
Adam Busby
That's weird because that's funny because I heard somebody talking about how diving boards or insurance will like, yeah, I think something change or something like that. If you have a diving board. I feel like, honestly, we have a.
Danielle Busby
Diving board, but we have rocks.
Adam Busby
No, we have a dagum trampoline. I feel like that's more of an insurance liability than a diving board. Like at least you're. You jump wrong, you're falling into water instead of. I mean, how. How many kids. How often do you hear of a kid like breaking an arm or a leg on a trampoline?
Danielle Busby
Yeah. But nobody really does diving boards anymore. So I think it was. Obviously it was old.
Adam Busby
Like, knock on, knock on wood. We haven't had an incident with a trampoline yet.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. All right. Your question since you answered mine. I'm not going to answer this one. Just saying, just setting the. Setting the tone. Is there something you think you need to quit or give up?
Adam Busby
Holding on to stuff? And I've been just now because, like, we're looking at organizing the house and stuff because, you know, like, if you move, you know, that's like the perfect time to like, purge and just get rid of stuff that like, you haven't used in forever, even one day. I mean, that cabinet that's over there in the corner of my office, on the bottom of it, I mean, it's like full of like backup hard drives, like old archived hard drives and stuff. But so what are you getting at? It's cool stuff that like, it's hard to just like, let it go because it's like, oh, this stuff's kind of usable or whatever. But I mean, honestly, like, I just went through like the right side of it one day and I was like, screw it. Ended up filling like an entire. And it still feels. Seems full, but I filled up an entire one of those big outdoor trash bags. Just like, just time to like, start letting go of stuff. Just like purging.
Danielle Busby
It's like videos and photos.
Adam Busby
No. Oh, no. Just like, just like camera accessories.
Danielle Busby
Oh, yeah.
Adam Busby
I mean, so you need to get a partner with like a lot of like camera brands and. And stuff like that. And so like, you know, whenever something new comes out, like, I'll. They'll send me certain cameras and. Or action cameras or. Or different types of. Or 360 cameras and stuff. And like, I'll get stuff in and then. But it never fails. Like, all the accessories for the previous models or whatever don't fit for the new one, don't fit with the new one. And so it ends up you getting this just stockpile of all these accessories and batteries and mounts and like all this stuff that doesn't work with the new one. And so it's just like, stuff just like stacks up and it's not. It's not bad stuff. So you don't want to like, throw it away.
Danielle Busby
So what's your overall? You need to give up or let.
Adam Busby
Go of just stuff.
Danielle Busby
Thank you. I just wanted to hear that.
Adam Busby
And what sucks is like my. I have like a. Some filing cabinet, desk drawers. I need to bring one of them to a locksmith.
Danielle Busby
It's also like five.
Adam Busby
Like a freaking idiot. I put. Because I never lock them.
Danielle Busby
I mean, then how is it locked?
Adam Busby
I don't know. Like the bottom one, it's not locked, but the top drawer, it's like jammed or something. Is Locked. And like I've trying to fiddle with it so many times. I even looked on YouTube trying to figure out how to pick a lock. I'm going to have to bring it to a locksmith just so I can like pull it out. It's just like full of charging cables and charging bricks and stuff. But it's like my pins and like certain things. Like every now and then I'm like, oh crap, that's in the top drawer. And like now I can't get into it. But stuff like that annoys me and I don't know and. But the key is inside of it. You can't lock it without the key. But it's in the drawer and so I don't know how it locked on itself but it's locked and I can't get into it. But I can open the big one, I can open the bottom one. But that annoys me. Grinds my gears. So today we're going to talk about. We've been getting a lot of questions as we've like done done different episodes and stuff. And like we did an episode like talking about like my journey with like anxiety, depression, stuff like that. But a lot of people just because it was a big storyline on our TV show OutDaughtered, a lot of people have been asking about Parker because like we went down that road with Parker where we started noticing at a very young age she had anxiety. And so, you know, we did some things on the show to kind of highlight what we were doing to seek help, what we were doing to like work with her and stuff. On TV you see Trip Planner by Expedia.
Expedia Voiceover
You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and your friends find a place on the beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tube. Expedia made to travel.
Adam Busby
A very small snippet of everything that we were doing. It was just very like high level, like showing that like we were going down this road of like seeking help, speaking with people, bringing her places and stuff. And what we were trying to do to like kind of get her to come out of her shell, you know, break those walls down and boundaries down. Because people have seen her lately and they're like, wow, all right, so we're going to take a little break for one of our sponsors which is good ranchers. Did you know that 85% of the grass fed beef sold in America is imported from overseas?
Danielle Busby
Yep, that's a lot.
Adam Busby
And good ranchers fixes that problem by being 100% American farmed and raised, all from local farms and ranches. You can go to goodranchers.com and get 100% American meat delivered straight to your door. It's free from hidden additives, no hormones, no antibiotics, nothing. All of the ingredients that you see on the package is what's listed, which is 100% meat.
Danielle Busby
It's almost like you're shocking me, but that's what it should be.
Adam Busby
Exactly. But whenever you go through the grocery aisle, a lot of stuff that even has like a USDA label on it. More than likely, it's coming from overseas. Good ranchers fights against that. And if you go to good ranchers.com you can enter the code busby for $40 off plus free meat for life.
Danielle Busby
Yep. And it's summertime. So we're in full swing of summer, and there's nothing better than some good meat around the pool with your family and friends. And whether it's burgers or hot dogs or steaks or chicken nuggets.
Adam Busby
I know. I just got a notification. We got a new good ranchers box coming in the mail. And I put some extra stuff for the grill.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
For summertime.
Danielle Busby
So be sure to check out goodranchers.com and use code busby at checkout.
Adam Busby
All right. Thank you. Good ranchers American meat delivered.
Danielle Busby
I mean, I even am like, can't believe this used to be my most anxious child who needed that, some form of security all the time.
Adam Busby
I remember anything. I remember whenever we went on, what, that two or three year hiatus on the show, and we, like, stepped away for a little bit, and whenever the crew came back.
Danielle Busby
Yeah, they were blown away.
Adam Busby
They were like, is this the same kid?
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
Because, you know, a big part of it is just Parker. I mean, we should probably talk about that later, though. But I mean, a big part of, like, her coming out of her shell is just her being comfortable in her own skin. Well, I think and realizing just how, like, how good she is at stuff and how. How. And that that gave her a lot of confidence and I think.
Danielle Busby
How do you get there?
Adam Busby
Yeah, exactly. That's why I said maybe we should talk about this.
Danielle Busby
Like, I mean, there's a bit later. There's things in steps that we did. But since you've brought that up already, I think how to make her feel comfortable and confident in who she is is a lot of encouragement, a lot of parent encouragement. And, you know, you can do this. Let's try it. And it's just. It's baby steps. Even. Even though it's at times, you know, it might not be something she wants to do, but we know it's something that could help her.
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
And she, we could tell she wants to do it, but the anxiousness holds her back. So you really just have to be present with that child to really understand. Is, are they really scared? Do they not like it? Do they. Does this. What, what is this? What is their reactions to things?
Adam Busby
Yeah, she would have like triggers. I remember whenever Parker was like little, that kid was glued to my side and to the point where like a lot of people would complain. They're like, you always just take photos of Parker. Yeah, because I have a camera. And I said, so cute. Like she was just always right there and I would look down and she's just looking at me and just smiling. Naturally I would just like have a bunch of really cute photos. And because Parker literally whenever she was so little, anytime I'm in the room, like she's locked on me and she's like just looking dead at me, just smiling so naturally. Just take a lot of those photos just because they were just cute little moments with her.
Danielle Busby
But I think early on, signs and things that we saw were things like just, you can't compare your kids. Right. But when you have quintuplets, you, you see a range of different emotions and feelings and things all day, every day. Yes, you can see that when you've got diff. Maybe you have six different aged kids, you can see that too. But when you have five of them the same age, you really see a change of differences that aren't necessarily bad or good, just that personality is different than that one. Or she doesn't like the flavor of that than that one, you know, so you learn your child. And so I think obviously being present and aware, which therefore means you're having to be involved with your child, which I think is number one, is being aware of who your child is. What is it that they like? What? And having notions of man that, that is something that we can tell really bothers her. Or when we're around xyz, she gets uncomfortable. She would spontaneously, like throw up at times. Like a lot of the time.
Adam Busby
Or if she would get. She would get a little anxious or like you're in a room with a lot of people. She would put her, she would put her hands over her ears.
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Danielle Busby
Well, that was when we found out then she had all the ear.
Adam Busby
But she would. But that became like a nervous.
Danielle Busby
A nervous, like, tick or a nervous habit. But then we found out that she had earned. Need to get tubes in her ears, which that helped. But she still had. That was something that she could, like, motion to that we could tell. But she would just, like, randomly, like, throw up. And so we were like, man, I wonder. Like, she's overwhelmed with something, you know, and something's bothering her. And so she would just get like. And I would say, like, a lot of kids and a lot of babies can get attached really easily, like, to their parents, which is normal. But because it was something we noticed differently than the others.
Adam Busby
That just goes to show, like, you know, people talk about nature versus nurture, but whenever you have quintuplets, a lot of things are very present and evident because you have five babies that were born within four minutes. And so you can see differences in personality, appearance. You can see all those things, you know, because you have five kids that were born, like, at the same time. And so. And. And for ours, I feel like our kids were, like, on very. The complete spectrum of super outgoing to super anxious. Anxious. But then, you know, you have one that's like the goofball and wants to make people laugh, one that's like a drama queen, one that's super sweet, you know, like, every single thing, it's like every scenario you're faced in, like, you feel those.
Danielle Busby
You get those different.
Adam Busby
But you weren't really parenting. You weren't really parenting them any differently. But you see they're molded difference of one, because people are just. Yeah, and that's exactly it.
Danielle Busby
God has created each one of us uniquely in our own image, you know?
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
So. So I think we really just start to see, like, there were normal things that I think toddlers and, you know, babies and stuff do. Because we did have Blake before, but Blake was a very independent, like, could talk to anybody kind of a child. But, you know, we started to see things that it would just. It really would hold her back from, even as a toddler.
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
So we really, you know, being on a level of, like, knowing that our kids, from very beginning, something that I never saw as a crutch, I always thought as a positive, like, how can I be on top of something? How can I have. What information can I get before something states or starts so that I can, like, better help? So an example, meaning I have quintuplets. I know that they're going to be behind in some way or not. Especially when it came to, like, motor skills and like, learning how to, you know, like, food, feed and all different.
Adam Busby
Because they were very premature.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. So because they're born at 28 weeks and two days, it takes them. It took them a while to like, adapt and catch up to, like, where they needed to be. And they usually say by the age of 2, 2 to 3, like, they can kind of be back on, like, their level grade, I guess you could say. So I always sought OT and like, physical therapy and OT to like, really just be like, hey, come give me some advice. Come help me learn. What does this mean? Come help, like, staying on top of those things, which I think is very beneficial. It's not something that you need to look at and say, like, oh, I have to do this for my child. No, you're doing this for your child as a help for yourself, but a help for you because, you know, being a parent trying to raise six daughters and quintuplets in the mix, you know, it's like they're all different. And so nothing's going to be the same. As much as you try to do things that things as the same, it's going to be received and have to be done a little bit different, you.
Adam Busby
Know, because even like taking your, like, kid to therapy or like an OT or something like that, a lot of that, having a child, most of that is more for you.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. So we took a lot out of that. And I think more than anything, we did go through OT with her and did like this, like, kind of like session to really just see, like, what does she have any struggles with any of her senses? Does she have sensory issues with any of the five senses? So we did, and it really, to her, it was just playtime. So we did different activities to really see if she was, you know, however, they were assessing those things and she passed all those. So we knew that there was nothing sensory that she was struggling with, causing these kind of, like, anxious times or, you know, anxious scenarios. So with that going forward, what we said to the OT was like, listen, you know, she's one of five babies at home. What are things that we can do? Because I'm not there just for her. We're also there as a parent and saying, like, how do I. What are tools that we can use? So asking questions and looking for if your child, you know, goes through those phases and they are not, quote, unquote, approved for any type of assistance or help in some way, ask for Yourself, like, okay, well if I can't, you know, by doctor prescription, quote unquote, get xyz, what can you tell me to do as a parent? How can I help her in these situations? What are tools that you can give me as a parent to do or say or whatever? And so I would say more than anything at that age, though, she passed those sensory things, like what we took back from those were just things that they told us as parents. I think we had like two or three sessions where it was like, just help us learn how to like do this. You know, what it, what, what, what is it that we can do differently? Especially in a scenario with five babies where you are spread out across having to, you know, take care of and you know, in the transition of like getting from X to Y to Z, it's a lot. So how do we better help her in this situation? A lot of those tools were to be vocal. So make sure that you are. Even if they can't verbalize it back to you, just tell them, give them a heads up. You know, Parker didn't like change or she didn't like a new thing scenario.
Adam Busby
So like, we would prepare her.
Danielle Busby
We would just tell her, like, okay, well, tomorrow we're going to go to the zoo. She loves the zoo. She'd always, she wants to go to the zoo, but sometimes she has a hard time getting out at the zoo and like that change of like it's a new scenery and stuff. So prepping her the day before and.
Adam Busby
Seeing like, you know, what to expect.
Danielle Busby
What to expect tomorrow. And of course we would tell all the kids, but we were really, we're really doing it for her. Like, are you excited we're going to go to what animal do you want to see tomorrow? So kind of getting her head already thinking about the zoo and what that meant for the other girls was possibly asking question over question over question. But for Parker, it was her absorbing that I'm going to be placed in a different atmosphere and we're helping her be accustomed to that's going to happen.
Adam Busby
Like a pre acclimating her to. In that situation.
Danielle Busby
And so then, you know, then it's breakfast time. It's like, hey, you know, we're eating at breakfast. And like then you're. You're just reengaging.
Adam Busby
That was, that was a big part of it. It was just like, how do we, how do we implement that into every facet of her life? Whether it's, yeah, going somewhere to eat, going to a new place, going, trying a new food, you Know, going to a new person's house, stuff like that, and you're just, like, working with her. We were doing it in a setting, like, just like you said, where you're kind of doing it for all the kids. But primarily it was for the purpose of preparing Parker ahead of time so that she is already mentally prepared going into something new.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. And then as they get older and can verbalize and communicate, it's really teaching them that she has a voice, even from a young age, you know, because we've got some that don't shut up, and then we've got one at the time that was just super quiet and wouldn't speak up, not saying that was a bad thing or a good thing or whatever. But for us, we could tell there was something different in that scenario for her. And so, you know, one of the tips that the OT Gave us was, listen, when you go to Chick Fil A, or when you go to. Like, when you go out to eat somewhere and they want to ask you, like, what do you all want to drink? And everybody, instead of mom saying, hey, just get six waters, let her say, like, okay, Parker, what would you like to drink? And let her tell the person something small. Just something super small. Like, that helped Parker be able to talk, to be able to say, like, what is it that I want? And how do I tell a hostess? Or how do I tell the waitress or the waiter? You know, instead of someone doing it for her, something so small like, that really helped her be able to learn to. And it's not a big. A big ordeal. It's just sometimes if we asked her first, we learned. We don't ask her first. We say. I would say, like, hey, Adam, what do you want to drink? Blake, what do you want to drink? And we go around the table. Okay, Parker, it's your turn. What would you like to drink to show her that it's okay? We're all doing this. Your sisters can vocalize what they want, and you too, so. And then it's. It's a lot of praise. Good job.
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
Proud of you for speaking up. I'm proud of you for telling them what you. What you like, what you want, like, and super small things. I mean, we were doing this at, like, 4 years old. Preparing, verbalizing, like, what you're doing, trying to bring in small scenarios where you're asking them. And sometimes, in a sense, you have to use your. Your parenting common sense to say, okay, we're going to the park, and I want her to wear tennis shoes, but let's see if we can get her to decide what shoe to wear. So I'm going to give her a shoe and a sandal. We already know that we want her to wear the tennis shoe. But she, I'm going to ask her like, I'm going to let her speak up for herself and let her hear as well as. And I'm going to do it with everybody in the house. And you know, I'm going to ask her like, okay, Parker, what shoes do you want to wear to the zoo? And if she picks the sand out, I have to not say, no, no, that's not the right shoe. You have to say like, hmm, do you think your toes are gonna get dirty? Or maybe something will step on it or you'll scratch it. Do you think we should wear the tennis shoe? Trying to say things in a way to get her to say, that's a good idea. Yes, let me pick the tennis shoes. So using that verbiage to make it their idea so that she's learning like how to make a decision and how to say that's the better decision. Yeah, just really though, just those three simple things. Then as she's getting older, you're seeing her get more comfortable in those scenarios. And then you go and if you're in line at, you know, the restaurant, you're going to order some food, she'll get more comfortable and just going to, I want a number four, you know, with a water or like whatever. Like, you gradually will start to see little improvements over time. And so you have to, to also be aware of. Good job, Parker. I'm proud of you for ordering your meal for you. You know, and a lot of times too, guys, don't, don't get me wrong. It's not like I do like every single time, but a lot of times when we need those moments because sometimes I'm like, okay, give me a, give me one thing for all of them. You know, give me this big thing and I'm gonna give me this 30 piece nugget. I'm gonna share across all of them. So I'm not letting them all order every single time because that might be more expensive. But there are different windows of whenever. We're constantly still preparing and telling them. Even to this day, we still use those tools a lot to that.
Adam Busby
Yeah. One other resource, and this is not like an ad or sponsor or anything like that. It's just some really good friends of ours, husband and wife, Joshua and Kristi Straub. They're both psychologists. They have a lot of books out. They have a podcast called Famous at Home, which we've mentioned them before. They've even helped us, Danielle and I, personally, through, like, difficult times in relationship and trying to work through different things. They're just awesome, like, the most solid people you could ever come across. But they have this series of books. There's two of them right here. It's. And I pulled my iPad just to pull them out. There's one that's called what Am I Feeling? And there's a whole, like, feelings chart that's in the. In the back of the book that you can pull out just to get your kid, like, articulating what they're feeling in that moment and stuff where they're either lashing out or withdrawing or stuff like that. And it's a chart they can, like, point to and stuff. If they can't, you know, verbalize what they're feeling with what they're feeling at the time. Um, and it just allows that open dialogue of just working through, you know, whatever they may be struggling with at the time. And there's another book. It's called what Do I Do With Worry? And it's. These are, like, children's books that you can sit at bedtime and just, like, read through. And it just helps the kid process, like, feelings and how to work through that, whether it's worry or anxiety or anger or anything like that. These are great books to pick up.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
If you're, you know, you're a parent of a younger child that's, like, just struggling with emotions and stuff. I recommended it to a good friend of mine just here recently. She was, like, struggling with, you know, her daughter just kind of lashing out. And I'm like, hey. And I recommended the books, and she actually reached out to me on Monday this week, and she's like, hey, I just want to let you know, like, I ordered those books that you were telling me about, and we've been going through it with our daughter. They have worked tremendously. And she was just, like, almost to the point where, like, she wanted to start crying. She's like, these have helped so much. And so if you're a parent of a younger child, like, 100%, I totally recommend it. They're solid people, good messaging. It's not going to, you know, push any kind of crazy ideology or anything on you. It's just great just to get your kids to open up about their feelings.
Danielle Busby
I also think some kids who can't, you know, possibly verbalize or really know how to, like, say what they're feeling or know what they're feeling or what they really even like. So when it came to, you know, trying to get the kids like involved in sports or extracurricular things, it's kind of like, try these. We tried a couple different level. We tried gymnastics. We. And, and it would be hard for Parker to like, you know, like go in there, even though she loved it so much. But it was hard. And then we tried dance and that just like filled. Filled her joy. Without her even really realizing it, she got to get dressed up in a tutu and a pink. And that's not for every kid. But I will tell you, that was a life changing moment for seeing Parker find something. And honestly, I hate that she's not in dance anymore. She likes the other sports too, but she's very good at a lot of things. But when she got into dance and was in dance for a while, that really opened up her confidence of, I really like this. I want to do it. And I, and I enjoy how it makes me feel when I'm doing it. Therefore made her do it again, which kept. And then you have parents on the other side us saying, you know, you're, we're so proud of you for going out there today. Like those, those encouraging reinforcement words are so powerful at a young age. I mean, the rest of their life, it is always telling them you're proud.
Adam Busby
Of them and just be, be careful to like draw that line of like not focusing on performance, focusing on just like how it makes you feel. And did you enjoy it? Did you, did you like it? You're, you know, you're. And just giving them that positive reinforcement through it.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
Because it's not about, not necessarily making it about how, how good she was.
Danielle Busby
Doing it that I'm so proud.
Adam Busby
Was it good or bad?
Danielle Busby
I'm so proud that you got out there. Even if you fell, you know, I remember one time she fell down, which this is ironic because this is what her book is about.
Adam Busby
Really. Yeah.
Danielle Busby
She fell down and she was so worked up because it wasn't perfect. But a little bit of pep talk and I was just like, you know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that we're not perfect. We go out there and we try and don't. Do you want to get back there? Do you. Are you happy doing this? Are you happy twirling around and blah, blah, blah, you know, so those things. And it was like, okay, well let's. All it takes is to try. We all fall down. And to really have conversations later about like, you know, even if it's not in the moment or you weren't there when that happened, or it's about to teaching your kids that, like, listen, mom and dad aren't perfect either. So if you can find some type of relatable scenario, like when Blake was been really upset and not wanting to switch schools and having to meet new friends and so me trying to get on a level and being like, let me give you a scenario about me in that same thing. Having to leave, having to have new friends, like, so trying to find something where they can relate to. Let you know that, like, man, I got you. Like, I've walked through this before. Like, let me relate to you in a way that you can understand, but not in a way to make you think that we are weak in a sense, but that it's okay because we've made it through it.
Adam Busby
Yeah. I mean, it's natural and okay to have these feelings.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
Obviously you don't want to talk about those more intimate things with, like, a very young child, but, like. Yeah, but, like, she's a teenager and, like, you can kind of give those scenarios and stuff that you've learned from growing up. One thing is you don't want your child caught up and putting so much weight into receiving the approval of their parent.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
You know, a thing that I tell the girls a lot is, you know, there's nothing that you can do, good or bad, there's. There's nothing that you can do to make dad love you any less. And then they're like, yeah, but there's also. There's nothing that you can do to make me love you anymore. Like, right. I love you this much, and there's nothing that you can do to change that. Either way, I'm always going to love you this much. And for them just to, like, realize, like, and not worry about, oh, Dad's not.
Danielle Busby
You don't have to prove anything to me and you don't have. And there's nothing you can do that's going to make me not love you.
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
You can tell me whatever, and it doesn't matter.
Adam Busby
It just gives them confidence.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. You do not have to achieve the top because it's not about us achieving the top. You know, can you strive for it? Can you set goals? Absolutely. But we're not going to love you less because you didn't make a mark.
Adam Busby
You know, I mean, just like, you know, this past year, just getting Blake involved, you know, she's loved tennis and getting her involved in and starting, you know, Tournament play and tennis and stuff and entering. Honestly, it's a, it's a very scary thing. Like as a teenager starting your first tournament, you don't know what to expect.
Danielle Busby
You don't know school tournament, you don't.
Adam Busby
Know who, who you're up against and stuff like that. There's going to be kids that are way older than you. There's going to be kids on, younger than you. It's, it brings anxiety and just to convey to her, walking through it, knowing she's a little bit worked up, knowing she may be uncomfortable with this and putting herself out there, but you know, just reassuring her through the process of. I'm not, I am not looking for you to win this tournament.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
We just 100% for, you know, you want to play. My only expectation for you out there is to try hard and to get experience and I don't care how this goes. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna, it'll be great. If you like when it win a match or something like that, that's great. That's just, that's a plus. But if you, if you lose, you know what, that's great too because you learned something.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
And what are we going to learn from that loss? You know, it's only going to make you get better. It's only going to give you more experience. It's only going to prepare you for the future. Like, we have no expectations going into this.
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
Adam Busby
So.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. Good. Yeah. So we got a lot of questions about could we touch base on, give points on stuff on like what we did to kind of like where people start to see like so much change and like Parker, you know, following our story and, and whatever. So hopefully this was helpful. I know I had some people told people that we would talk about this on the podcast and I'm glad we're talking about now because it'll be a good follow up. So. Yeah, you know, I'm, I'm sure there's an abundant amount of imperfect parenting advice that we could get because guess what? We're not perfect.
Adam Busby
Yeah.
Danielle Busby
But we learn and we get to experience a high level of things every single day.
Adam Busby
These are the things that worked for us.
Danielle Busby
Yeah. So we're not giving you like pro tips, we're giving you Busbee pro tips. Because this is what we've walked through, this is what we've learned, this is how we've dealt and this is how we got through it. So hopefully, you know, this information that we're sharing can help you. All that have been asking, you know, how did. What are tips that you have for kids who struggle with anxiety?
Adam Busby
Yeah, I mean we have, especially at a young age we have six kids that, you know, they're very, they're very well rounded and confident kids and you know, they're a lot, we get a lot of compliments from other parents just like how like adjusted they are to like new people and new new scenarios and stuff. And so all we can tell them is like these are the things that we've implemented and we've learned over the years and you know, hopefully, you know, you may have heard something that have spoke to you or may have resonated and take it, own it, you know, steal it from us and see if it works. But thank you guys for tuning in to episode 39.
Danielle Busby
Yep.
Adam Busby
Of more Than Reality podcast. We'll see you in the next one.
Danielle Busby
Bye guys.
Adam Busby
All right, we love you guys.
More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby Episode 39: Helping Our Anxious Child Break Free: Parker’s Journey Release Date: June 26, 2025
In Episode 39 of "More Than Reality," hosts Adam and Danielle Busby delve deep into their personal journey of supporting their daughter Parker as she navigates anxiety. This episode provides an intimate look into the challenges and triumphs of raising a child with anxiety within a large family of eight, including five groundbreaking all-female quintuplets.
Timestamp: 00:45 – 03:03
Adam opens the discussion by addressing the growing curiosity from their audience about Parker's anxiety. He recalls how, from a very young age, Parker exhibited signs of anxiety that set her apart from her siblings.
Adam Busby: "Whenever Parker was like little, that kid was glued to my side… she was just looking at me and just smiling" (00:45).
Danielle elaborates on Parker's early behaviors, emphasizing that while Parker was always affectionate and connected, there were subtle signs indicating her struggle with anxiety.
Timestamp: 03:03 – 12:39
The conversation shifts to their daily routines and how they manage the chaos of a large household while addressing Parker’s needs. They discuss the importance of creating a supportive environment, highlighting how even everyday activities like using face masks can be approached thoughtfully to avoid exacerbating anxiety.
Danielle shares her interest in developing a product line tailored to the needs of preteens, reflecting their commitment to addressing their children’s well-being.
Danielle Busby: "We gotta be cautious about what we actually are letting them put on their face because they don't need it" (02:12).
Timestamp: 15:06 – 36:43
Adam and Danielle discuss their proactive approach in seeking professional help for Parker. They emphasize the importance of occupational therapy (OT) and physical therapy in understanding and managing Parker’s anxiety. The hosts recount how these sessions provided them with valuable tools to support Parker effectively.
Danielle highlights the significance of being present and involved, ensuring that Parker feels heard and understood.
Danielle Busby: "We really start to see… understanding is being present with that child" (27:08).
Timestamp: 36:43 – 51:25
The Busbys share specific strategies they implemented to help Parker cope with anxiety. These include:
Preparation and Predictability: Preparing Parker for upcoming events by discussing what to expect, thereby reducing uncertainty and anxiety.
Adam Busby: "So we would just tell her like, okay, well, tomorrow we're going to go to the zoo" (37:01).
Encouraging Verbalization: Allowing Parker to make small decisions, such as choosing her outfit or what to drink, to build her confidence and sense of control.
Danielle Busby: "Parker, what shoes do you want to wear to the zoo?" (39:47).
Positive Reinforcement: Consistently praising Parker for her efforts, regardless of the outcome, to reinforce her self-worth and reduce performance anxiety.
Danielle Busby: "Good job, Parker. I'm proud of you for speaking up" (40:08).
Timestamp: 42:41 – 44:14
Adam introduces listeners to Joshua and Kristi Straub, psychologists and friends who have significantly influenced their approach to parenting. He recommends their series of children's books, "What Am I Feeling?" and "What Do I Do With Worry?" These resources are designed to help children articulate and manage their emotions effectively.
Adam Busby: "These are great books to pick up" (44:14).
Timestamp: 44:14 – 51:25
Danielle recounts how engaging Parker in activities she enjoys, such as dance, significantly boosted her confidence and alleviated anxiety. They emphasize the importance of allowing children to pursue their interests without the pressure of perfection.
Danielle Busby: "It's not about us achieving the top… just how it makes you feel" (46:58).
Adam adds that reinforcing unconditional love and acceptance plays a crucial role in building Parker’s self-esteem.
Adam Busby: "There's nothing that you can do to make me love you any less" (49:02).
Timestamp: 52:00 – End
The episode wraps up with Adam and Danielle reflecting on their imperfect but earnest efforts to support Parker. They emphasize that while they may not have all the answers, their journey offers valuable insights and practical tips for other parents facing similar challenges.
Danielle Busby: "These are the things that worked for us" (52:09).
Adam encourages listeners to adopt and adapt the strategies discussed, fostering an environment where anxious children can thrive.
This episode serves as a heartfelt guide for parents navigating the complexities of raising anxious children, offering real-world solutions grounded in personal experience.