More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle: EP 58

Why We Leave Our 6 Kids—And How It Actually Saves Our Marriage
November 13, 2025

Overview

In this candid and lively episode, Adam and Danielle Busby—parents to six daughters, including America’s only all-female set of quintuplets—dig into the realities of parents traveling without their kids. They share why prioritizing their marriage sometimes means leaving their kids behind, how they make it work logistically, and why “mom guilt” isn’t a word in their vocabulary. Their humor, honesty, and experienced perspectives offer insight and encouragement to busy parents trying to juggle family life, work, and nurturing their relationship.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Disruption—and Value—of Parental Absence

• Adam admits feeling "off" when Danielle leaves for trips, highlighting how much their routines depend on both parents being present ([04:16]).
  • “I just feel like off... it takes me a good week to get back on it.” — Adam ([04:45])
• Different personalities handle change differently: Adam struggles more with routine disruptions, while Danielle is “Yolo, just do it” and adapts quickly ([05:05]).
  • Danielle: “You don’t do well with any form of change and you don’t do well with adjusting...And I am the opposite. I can get thrown something and just be like yolo, like, just do it.” ([05:05])

2. Why They Prioritize Traveling Together

• Marriage and fun are a priority, not just business. Adam and Danielle travel together for both work (brand partnerships, speaking, etc.) and personal enjoyment, reinforcing the joy and adventure in their marriage ([08:01]).
• Danielle shares how her childhood and work experience inspired her love for travel and adventure ([08:41]).

3. The Logistics Behind Those Getaways

• It takes a village. In the early years with quintuplets and a baby, getaways required a "mad house" of careful preparation—color-coded schedules, several helpers each day, detailed feeding and care routines ([12:06]–[15:50]).
  • Danielle: “You almost go through this phase of like, you. You kind of forget who you are and where it all began...but it's always meaningful and you need to be reminded...” ([12:56])
• Trusted helpers are key, and the Busbys always prioritize only leaving their kids with people they trust like family or close friends.

4. Letting Go of "Parent Guilt"

• Neither Adam nor Danielle feels guilty about leaving for trips—they feel grateful for support and believe showing a healthy marriage benefits the kids ([15:50]-[20:47]).
  • Danielle: “I never felt guilty for leaving them. I felt...thankful and very blessed that we had people that...wanted to remind us that, hey, y’all need to get away.” ([20:10])
  • Adam: “We had to 100% make this a priority, make our marriage a priority, because if we weren’t okay, our family wasn’t going to be okay.” ([17:20])

5. Kids’ Reactions & Managing Expectations

• The girls have grown up with these routines and enjoy the variety of caregivers and novelty when parents are away. As pre-teens, they’re getting more curious and detail-oriented (“When are you coming back? Before or after school?”), but generally embrace the substitute caregivers ([21:47]–[22:35]).
• No souvenir culture: Adam and Danielle intentionally don’t bring back goodies after trips without kids, to avoid “daddy’s home, what did you bring me?” mentality ([23:34]–[24:25]).
  • Adam: “I always wanted my kids to be like, oh, daddy's home. Like, you know, hey, Daddy, not daddy's home. Would you bring me?” ([23:52])

6. Schedules, Food, and the Art of the Handoff

• Systematic preparation: Danielle leaves schedules, routines, clothes, and meal plans for helpers (and Adam) when she travels ([25:51]; [26:54]).
  • Danielle: “It’s six kids. I want to make this as easy as possible for anyone.” ([26:17])
• Adam appreciates when clothes are pre-sorted for each child—his biggest trip stress was “combing through multiple closets, trying to find clothes and matching everything up for a bunch of little girls” ([33:31]).
• Trips during school weeks are easier, giving caregivers a daytime break between morning and afternoon routines ([28:23]–[29:11]).

7. When Only One Parent’s Home

• Adam on solo parenting: He admits to eating out more, not just out of convenience but “to keep the house as clean as possible” so Danielle comes home to a tidy space ([35:03]–[36:17]).
  • Adam: “Shoot, y’ all are going to bed at the same time. Like, just because mom's mom's not here doesn't mean y’ all get to stay up.” ([35:03])
  • Danielle: “I'll never forget, like, that next time I came home and I was like, wow, it's clean...Dude, go out to eat every night.” ([36:02])
• When Adam’s away, Danielle sometimes prefers “just handling things” herself rather than splitting duties ([40:33]), but stresses that their system only works because they are normally a “team” ([41:17]).
  • Danielle: “Everything's harder if you're doing it as a one man team. Because we are a team.” ([42:02])
• The stress of soloing is in juggling work and kid logistics, especially as the kids get involved in more activities ([39:31]).

8. Setting Boundaries for Parental Detachment

• Adam and Danielle have a rule: when they’re away together, they check in only once a day (except in emergencies) to protect their mental focus and truly “disconnect” ([42:56]–[44:43]).
  • Danielle: “It’s very hard when you work together and parent together to really just have fun and just be Adam and Danielle together.” ([44:29])
  • Adam: “It's hard to disconnect whenever you keep getting pulled back in.” ([44:43])
• They intentionally teach their kids that “this is mommy and daddy’s time away,” reiterating the importance of prioritizing the marriage ([45:26]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Marriage First:
  “If we're not good, the household's going to suffer. So this needs to work first.” — Danielle ([18:11])
• On Letting Go of Guilt:
  “I never felt guilty for leaving them. I felt...thankful and very blessed that we had people that...wanted to remind us that, hey, y’all need to get away.” — Danielle ([20:10])
• On Routine Disruption:
  “That's the one thing that makes me the most flustered...Combing through multiple closets, trying to find clothes and matching everything up for a bunch of little girls.” — Adam ([33:31])
• On Eating Out To Keep House Clean:
  “As soon as I pick 'em up from school, we never went home—straight to the park, going straight to dinner, coming home, jump in the bathtub, and you're going to bed every night. We never touched the kitchen.” — Adam ([37:18])
• On Setting Parental Boundaries:
  “We will check in once a day, and unless there is something urgently needed, then don't call us...That allows us to mentally kind of break away and focus on us.” — Danielle ([42:56]–[44:43])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Adam’s "Funk" When Danielle Leaves: [00:48]–[05:05]
• Personality differences in handling change: [05:05]–[06:26]
• Why and how they travel together: [08:01]–[10:15]
• Early staycations & life with quints: [10:58]–[15:50]
• Letting go of parent guilt: [15:50]–[20:47]
• Kids’ reactions, growing up in routine: [20:48]–[22:35]
• No souvenirs rule: [23:34]–[24:25]
• Prepping for getaways: Schedules, clothes, helpers: [25:51]–[33:31]
• Solo-parenting strategies and challenges: [35:03]–[42:30]
• Setting digital boundaries while away: [42:56]–[45:26]
• Final encouragement and summary: [46:01]–[47:31]

Tone & Style

• Conversational and playful: Adam and Danielle’s light teasing, earnest reflections, and honest confessions create an approachable, relatable tone.
• Candid and practical: The episode doesn’t shy away from sharing the logistical craziness or emotional realities, but gives tips shaped by experience.
• Faith-centered and grateful: They repeatedly express gratitude for their support system and view marriage as both a responsibility and a gift they protect for their family’s good.

Practical Takeaways

• Prioritize your marriage—it benefits the entire family.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for and accept help.
• Logistical prep saves everyone stress (especially the parent who dislikes matching clothes!).
• Let go of parent guilt; your kids benefit from seeing a healthy partnership.
• Set boundaries to truly “get away” and reconnect as a couple.

Episode Conclusion:
Adam and Danielle wrap with encouragement to other couples: discuss what routines and boundaries protect your marriage, and find practices that serve both your partnership and your family’s “sanity”—even if it looks unconventional to others.