More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby

Episode 61: Are We Ruining Christmas? Telling Our Kids the Truth About Santa
Date: December 4, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid episode, Adam and Danielle Busby, known from TLC's "OutDaughtered," dive into a sensitive parental dilemma: when and how to tell their kids the truth about Santa Claus. The couple examines the pressures of holiday traditions like Elf on the Shelf and the evolving nature of "Christmas magic" as their six daughters grow older. Along the way, they share personal anecdotes about holiday chaos, their family’s evolving beliefs, and how faith fits into the heart of the season.

Note: The main discussion about Santa begins at [28:04]. Prior sections include family and holiday updates, which provide context to their current family life and holiday mindset.

Family & Holiday Updates

Post-Thanksgiving Catch-Up

• The Busbys debrief their Thanksgiving, mentioning the hectic but enjoyable nature with kids out of school and lots of sleepovers.
• They recently "kitten-sat" for Thanksgiving, leading to hilarious stories about their dogs reacting to the cat ([02:06]–[08:14]).
• Danielle describes the practical realities of pet care and teaching kids responsibility ([05:43], [06:21]).

Adam’s Thoughts on "Cat People"

• Adam:

  "We kind of experienced what it's like to be, like, cat people. Are we cat people? It was kind of fun." ([02:15])

• The kids failed in their campaign to add a permanent cat to the home due to Ava’s cat allergy ([08:26]–[10:04]).

Danielle’s Recent Accidents

• Danielle humorously recounts two separate falls—once with a litter box, once on wet pebbles—highlighting the chaos of life with many kids and tasks ([19:36]–[22:29]).
• Adam:

  "I swear, like, I'm married to, like, an old grandma, you know?" ([19:39])

These updates build the tone of family warmth and chaos that frames their parenting dilemmas.

Main Topic: Are We Ruining Christmas? (Discussion begins [28:04])

Setting the Stage

• Adam warns listeners with kids who still believe in Santa/Early Christmas magic to listen privately ([28:16]).
• The Busbys recall the restrictions of reality TV:

  "We could never show, like, the behind the scenes stuff that parents go through for Christmas, because that would ruin the magic of Christmas for kids watching the TV show." — Adam ([28:34])

The "Santa Question" as the Kids Grow Up

• Their 10-year-old quintuplets (and older daughter Blake) are possibly on the cusp of not believing but may be "playing along."
• Adam worries kids might just be putting on an act in hopes of more gifts ([29:14], [29:21]).

Signs the Kids Are Figuring Things Out

• Comments at school and home questioning Santa's existence ([29:23]–[29:37]).
• Adam admits he threw away all their Elf on the Shelf dolls during a house purge, not anticipating the full consequences ([30:25], [33:59], [43:43]).
  • Danielle:

    "I didn't know you threw them away."

  • Adam:

    "I think it's time. They're 10. I think it's time... They're fifth grade. Next year they'll be in middle school." ([30:25])

  • Danielle jokes about the potential trauma:

    "Rude. Who cares if they don't believe anything?" ([43:45])

The Elf on the Shelf Dilemma

• The stress of keeping up with elaborate Elf routines, and the pressure added by other families starting Elf antics earlier and with more effort ([31:04]–[32:39]).
  • Danielle:

    "To the parents who decide to take their elves out the day after Thanksgiving, how about you tell your kids to keep it to themselves... Us are trying our best... Christmas week, you know?" ([31:19])

• Danielle humorously rants about the escalation of Elf expectations:

  "Might as well... they're going to be coming in October at Halloween." ([33:14])

How to Break the News to Kids?

• Adam contemplates the right way to tell the truth, referencing gentle online scripts:

  "The real Santa Claus is, like, it's us. It's within all of us. The magic of Santa is spreading joy... doing things for other people without wanting something in return." ([35:27])

• Danielle sees the Santa tradition as a way to reinforce faith and joy:

  "The magic of Christmas is... that mystery of the unknown, right? You're believing in something you cannot see... but then it is there, right? If I can explain why we are celebrating... it's like transpiring that into what my faith is." ([37:46])

• They agree never to bluntly say "Santa isn't real," but rather to reframe the experience as one of family, giving, and tradition ([36:37], [40:52]).

Adam’s Pragmatic Perspective

• Adam leans toward ending the myth:

  "I don't want my kids to believe in Santa Claus. I want them to just know and not be, like, gullible anymore about that." ([39:17])

• Danielle insists it's about what the kids feel, not Adam's personal stance:

  "Just take your feelings about how you feel about what you think your kids should be feeling, about how they think about Santa Claus." ([44:32])

The Parental Dilemma & The Importance of Framing

• Adam and Danielle discuss back-and-forth feelings — not wanting to rob children of magic, but also not wanting them to be the "only kids in the class still believing" ([41:30]).
• Danielle notes most kids are wise to the truth but want to know why parents maintain the tradition ([41:45]).
• The couple laughs about who will be forced to have "the talk," each trying to punt the responsibility to the other ([42:21]–[43:03]):
  • Danielle:

    "That's the time that you say, go talk to your mom."

  • Adam:

    "Hey, go talk to your mom. Mom's got news for you. Hey, mom knows what happened to your elves."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Keeping the Magic:

  "The magic of Christmas is... believing in something that you cannot see and you don't know is there, but then it is there, right? ...like, what my faith is." — Danielle ([37:46])

• On Parent Peer Pressure:

  "You might as well... they're going to be coming in October at Halloween. Everybody keeps moving Christmas up, so, like, chill." — Danielle and Adam ([33:14])

• On Honesty vs. Disappointment:

  "That's a really good way of doing it, rather than just saying, 'Oh, Santa Claus isn't real. We've been lying to you all these years.'" — Adam ([36:30])

• On the Emotional Tug-of-War:

  "Just take your feelings about how you feel about what you think your kids should be feeling, about how they think about Santa Claus." — Danielle ([44:32])

• On Relinquishing Responsibility:

  "Talk to your mom. Mom's got news for you." — Adam ([42:32]) "That one I will say, 'Go ask your daddy. Your daddy burnt them.'" — Danielle ([42:52])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:46] – Thanksgiving & Family Updates
• [02:06–10:04] – Kitten sitting stories, pets, and teaching kids responsibility
• [19:36–22:29] – Danielle’s clumsy mishaps and family laughs
• [28:04] – Topic Warning: Santa Claus & Preserving Christmas Magic
• [29:14] – Are the kids just playing along?
• [30:25] – The fate of the Elf on the Shelf
• [31:19–33:14] – Elf tradition stress and escalation
• [35:27–36:37] – How to tell kids the truth (gentle scripts)
• [37:46] – Danielle connects "Christmas magic" to faith
• [39:17] – Adam’s blunt stance: kids shouldn’t be gullible
• [41:30] – Parental worry: being the last family with true believer kids
• [44:32] – Danielle: focus on the kids’ feelings

Closing Thoughts

Adam and Danielle offer no easy answers but demonstrate the internal and external pressures parents face in sustaining (or ending) childhood fantasy traditions. They encourage parents to transition away from literal belief thoughtfully, infusing the process with warmth, meaning, and a focus on the core values of generosity and faith.

As they wrap up, Danielle offers the wisdom of letting the kids lead the conversation, while Adam reluctantly agrees to leave the "big talk" to her. It's equal parts humorous and heartfelt—a typical slice of Busby family reality.

End of Summary