A (27:57)
Even though they're not. But we would put. Even though it wasn't even even a little bit. It was like just 2 and 3, 2 and 3, 2 and 3. And. And I've always been able to know these teachers, and because it's always been two, I've always had two teachers, and that's been it. But there's been this kind of, like, anxiousness that has rolled in once fifth grade started. Like, this is the last year that I have, like, kind of, like this protective kind of, like, layer of, like, helping them within this school when they get to sixth grade. There's no more of, like, in public school. There's no more of the, like, hey, y' all will all have the same math teacher. Yeah, y' all will all have the same English teacher. You'll all have the same science teacher. And I can't guarantee that y' all will even have a class together. And, like, there. I think there are some things that I could work with and into to, like, make that happen with the principal and the school district and stuff. But it's just the start of what we feel as parents they are not ready for. And what has really solidified, like, the decision of, yes, now we are officially doing a co op homeschool for next year for sixth grade. So it's out there. It's. We've official, officially, officially, officially decided as a family with the Quinte, like, opinions and everything that they want to do the co op homeschool. And, you know, it's a. It's a lot to process. It's a lot of change of life. It's a lot of change of pace for me. It's a lot of different role, I guess, as, you know, being mom to kind of like, mom teacher. Even though, as a mom, we're constantly teaching throughout our whole day because they're always watching they're always listening. We're always, you know, like, encouraging and teaching them just regardless, you know. So it's not a big. It has not been a big decision. But when this all started, when was about a year ago before we moved, before all these things, like the Lord had just really put on my heart, when it really started was, we're going to move and you're going to homeschool. And I, like, I, I'm. I'm a fighter. I like to fight when I don't agree or don't like to. Don't agree. Right. Fuzz. I don't like what you tell me, and I want to, like, discuss it and go back and forth and, like, conversate about it. And so I did that a while with, like, my prayers and, like, talking to God. Like, I don't, I don't want to do this. Like, I don't feel like it's going to be fit. I don't feel like it's, it's, it's me. I feel like in the. The thing is, is that I feel like deep down inside of me, I'm going to be good at it. And I, and I, and I know I can do it with the Lord's help, because my human self says, I don't want to do this. I'm going to be trapped up in this little house. I'm going to be trapped up in this room. They're not going to want to listen to me. How am I going to be able to do this? Times five have, like, all the weight of, like, all the nos, all the negatives, all, like, those fears kind of like, really roll in and. But then I get the other side of it. Like, there's so much beauty in the other side of it, you know? Like, I feel like even today, like, after church, I just had this more like, aha. Like, yes, this is what, like, even just like after the weekend, like, just like a different view of, like, trying to view life differently. And sometimes we view life the way we want it. And the Lord says, no, I'm gonna tell you what this is going to be like and I need you to follow me. And so I have accepted the fact that we will be doing, like, co op, homeschool, and we'll discuss a little bit of the difference between co op and then just real homeschool. And so it's kind of like anyone who suffers with any kind of, like, struggle, like, once you accept what you're struggling with, the other side of that, yes, is so different. And if you could just accept what God's putting you through and pushing you into. Once you accept it, it's so, like, why were we. Why was I fighting it for. So, like, why was I fighting it when there's so much, like, peace in the decision making? When I allowed myself to accept it, I still struggle with the fact that I'm going to do this, but it feels right. It just feels right. And, you know, Adam and I have kind of talked, like, why don't you give your perspective on, like, what. How you. Like we've talked, like, how do you think this is going to be? Like, what. What is your fears around this? What is hard? What is going to be hard about this? And, you know, it's not like Adam working dad. Like, it's not like he's going to be sitting at home with us. And it probably will be extra challenging because you will be at home. But I won't be, like, I won't be utilizing your tools and gifts to be helping me, in a sense, teach, because more than likely you're working, you know, and I'm sure there's going to be times where you can. And you might want to or whatnot. Like, field trip day.
