Today’s Headlines: Trump held a two-hour cabinet meeting yesterday dedicated largely to his Sharpie, his ballroom renovation, and claiming Iran is "begging" for a deal while insisting he's definitely not desperate for one. He then paused strikes on Iranian energy plants until April 6th, privately told advisors he wants the war wrapped in four to six weeks, and the Pentagon simultaneously floated sending 10,000 more ground troops. Israel killed Iran's navy commander — the architect of the Strait of Hormuz blockade. And the USPS announced a 7% fuel surcharge on packages, citing the Iran war. The cost of this conflict is now literally showing up in your shipping rates. In wannabe king news, Trump announced he'd sign an executive order to pay TSA workers — something he could have done at any point instead of using their paychecks as leverage. He's also eyeing the White House Treaty Room as a potential bedroom. And his signature will begin appearing on U.S. currency in June, ending a 165-year tradition, to mark America's 250th birthday. At CPAC, Deputy AG Todd Blanche boasted that Kash Patel has purged everyone involved in Trump's prosecution from the FBI, endorsed the view that all executive branch employees work directly for Trump, and floated having ICE agents show up at polling locations on Election Day. The DOJ settled with Michael Flynn for $1.25 million — for the crimes he pleaded guilty to — while the Miami Herald reported that bags of shredded documents were found outside the jail where Epstein died days after his death, the FBI closed the inquiry and an anonymous letter to a federal judge alleged a coverup. The DOJ also issued two new criminal referrals against New York AG Letitia James, this time for homeowners insurance fraud, based largely on social media posts from a Trump ally. Tomorrow is the third round of No Kings protests — 3,000+ events nationwide, with Bruce Springsteen, Joan Baez, Jane Fonda, and Bernie Sanders headlining the flagship rally in Minnesota.

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