Today's Headlines: Trump hosted kids at the White House for a Presidential Fitness Award ceremony, fell asleep while RFK Jr. spoke, and used the occasion to rant about Iran to a room full of children — meanwhile, Pete Hegseth was simultaneously insisting the ceasefire was still intact while missiles were actively flying over the Strait of Hormuz, and Marco Rubio filled in at the press briefing to tout US humanitarian aid for Cuba, a country we are currently blockading. In other news, over a quarter of DOJ attorneys — roughly 3,400 lawyers with an average tenure of over 13 years — have walked out or been fired since Trump took office, ICE's own internal records confirm a 37% spike in use of force against detainees across 98 facilities, and a new study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that ICE enforcement is actually hurting US-born workers in construction and similar sectors, with no wage increases to show for it. In creepy Congress members news, Republican Rep. Chuck Edwards is under investigation for alleged misconduct toward two female staffers in their 20s, including gifts, a handwritten love letter, and a Las Vegas vacation he took during a government shutdown he almost missed voting to end — his office also had a 59% staff turnover rate in 2025, more than double the House average. In tech and media news, the White House is planning an executive order on AI oversight involving Anthropic, Google, and OpenAI before models are released to the public, Pennsylvania sued Character.AI for having its chatbot impersonate a licensed psychiatrist complete with a fake license number, and James Murdoch is reportedly in talks to acquire Vox Media, which owns New York Magazine, The Verge, and Eater, potentially outbidding the competing offer from former NBC spinoff Versant. And finally, NPR went to Panama looking for Polymarket's corporate headquarters and found an essentially empty office where nobody had ever heard of the $15 billion prediction market platform — which also happens to share a law firm with FTX, so that's extremely reassuring.

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