Most Valuable Agent with Matt Hannaford

Episode: Parents Leading Athletes: The Conversations That Save Baseball Seasons
Date: December 8, 2025
Host: Matt Hannaford

Episode Overview

This episode of Most Valuable Agent dives into the critical, often misunderstood relationship between parents and their athlete children, focusing on how unspoken expectations can derail both performance and the parent-player bond. Matt Hannaford, leveraging his decades of experience as a Major League Baseball agent, lays out a framework to transition from silent, one-sided expectations to open agreements. This approach promises to not only enhance a young player's development on the field but also strengthen trust and enjoyment for the whole family.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Problem: Unspoken Expectations

• Scenario Introduction (00:12):
  Matt sets the stage with an all-too-familiar scene: a parent’s internal frustration after their child strikes out in a pivotal moment.
• Parental Investment and Silent Pressure:
  Parents invest heavily in time and money for their children’s baseball journeys and naturally form expectations—often without ever expressing them directly.
• Uncommunicated Assumptions:
  Most parents assume their kids instinctively know these expectations, but Matt challenges this assumption:

  "If you've never turned those expectations into agreements... you're going to keep getting disappointed in him and he's ultimately going to keep being frustrated with you." (01:05)

2. Expectation vs. Agreement: Defining the Concepts (03:51)

• Expectations:
  Internal standards the parent holds (e.g., "I expect him to hit .300 this season")—usually unspoken.
• Agreements:
  Explicit, collaborative commitments made during real conversations.
• Analogy:

  "An expectation is like assuming that a pitcher knows how to throw a curveball without really ever teaching him the grip. But an agreement is actually practicing it together, working on it together, until you both end up on the same page." (05:38)

3. How Unspoken Expectations Hurt Relationships and Performance (06:21)

• The "No Win" Scenario:
  Example: A parent expects their child to skip hanging out with friends before a tournament but never articulates it. The child unknowingly breaks the rule, leading to disappointment and defensiveness.

  "'You didn't tell me this. I don't even know what you're referring to.' It's as if you've had a conversation with someone and you expected him to be there, but he wasn't." (09:00)

• Negative Spiral:
  When expectations are met, little praise is given; when they’re missed, anger erupts—reducing motivation and love for the game.

4. Real Life Example: Burnout from Unspoken Demands (10:30)

• A father insists to Matt that his 14-year-old should work on hitting every day.
  The result: academic decline, burnout, arguments, and a disappearing passion for baseball—a lose-lose.

  "Naturally, the result of that is the morale between the two goes into the can. Unfortunately, his performance drops and the love for the game, naturally, it starts to fade." (11:16)

5. The Parent as Family CEO (12:10)

• Leadership Principle Applied:
  Unspoken expectations are a "leadership fail." Parents must move from dictating to collaborating—just as an effective CEO would.

Transforming Expectations into Agreements: The Three-Step Framework

Step 1: Start the Conversation (14:05)

• Choose the Moment Wisely: Not right after a bad game.
• Prompt:

  "Hey, son. I realize I've had some ideas in my head about what I want for you in baseball, but I realize I've never asked you: what do you want from this? What are your goals this season? And more importantly, what do you need from me in order for you to achieve them?” (14:50)

Step 2: Get Specific with Roles and Responsibilities (16:00)

• Clarify Both Sides:
  • Player commits (e.g., “show up for extra practices”).
  • Parent commits (e.g., “driving to the field, finding the right coaches”)
• Include Timelines:
  • Check in at set intervals (e.g., end of the month).
  • Be open to adjustments based on what’s working or not.

  "You're setting aside time to have these conversations. And that is a really, really important factor." (17:43)

Step 3: Keep Communication Open (18:10)

• Regular Check-ins:
  • Short, scheduled conversations (“Hey, son, how’s this working for you?”)
  • Adjust as needed, celebrate progress

  "If he says to you specifically, 'Hey, look, I want to achieve this goal,' and he does it, you need to celebrate that win. Let him recognize you're paying attention." (19:23)

Memorable Quotes & Insights

• Matt on Shifting Parenting Styles:

  "It's like going from being a dictator in the stands to a coach in the dugout... It's a much different energy that you're bringing to the conversation." (05:15)

• On the Power of Agreements:

  "When you make that shift, you're going to see your son step up in ways you never even imagined, and I'm sure, ways in which he never even really imagined." (06:00)

• On Empowerment and Ownership:

  "You're no longer going to feel like you're talking at him, but instead with him. You're going to now feel like a better parent. And trust me, he's going to feel empowered because of it." (22:31)

Practical Application & Success Story (20:27)

• Professional Example:
  Matt shares working with a pro client whose performance improved after they moved from expectation to explicit agreement and accountability.

  "And so after this one particular conversation, we made an agreement. He owned that agreement. And then his commitment improved because of it. And he was no longer, unfortunately, this commitment was no longer just in my head, it was in his." (21:10)

Episode Recap and Takeaways (23:09)

1. Expectations = Unspoken assumptions set everyone up for frustration.
2. Unspoken expectations create defensiveness and kill motivation.
3. Transforming these to agreements happens through open dialogue, clear roles, and ongoing check-ins—which boosts performance and brings parent and child closer, becoming true teammates.

Teasers for Upcoming Content (24:26)

• Interviews with Gus and Hugh Quattlebaum:

  • Gus, a Red Sox executive (scouting focus)
  • Hugh, a multi-level MLB hitting coach and father
  • Discusses Hugh’s new book “Don’t Be That Coach” and practical parental strategies

• Austin Riley and Family Interview:

  • All-Star’s draft experience from the family perspective

• Conversation with Kevin Griffin:

  • College softball coach, father of Pirates’ top prospect Connor Griffin
  • Highlights crossover between baseball and softball parenting

Thought-Provoking Parting Question

“Mom and dad, what are you doing to become more valuable to your son?” (27:50)

This episode serves as a parental playbook for shifting from silent, stress-provoking expectations to mutual agreements that foster growth, trust, and enjoyment at every baseball stage. Matt's experienced, candid style assures listeners that even simple conversations can be game-changing, on and off the diamond.