Transcript
A (0:12)
All right, everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Most Valuable Agent Podcast. I must say I am excited about today's episode, and the reason being is this is a solo episode, but I am going to be joined by my producer, Mike. He's going to be going over some questions that I have received from a lot of you listeners. And this particular episode is going to be driven and really all about how parents sometimes can be a little too overbearing. And a lot of parents have reached out, really wanting to know, hey, I don't want to be this way. Help me be a better parent. How do I do that, though? And so what we're going to cover today is, is all things that I'm hoping will help you guys be better parents. So, Mike, talk to me, buddy. What do. Walk me through these. These amazing questions that we got.
B (1:00)
Yeah, we got some good ones today. So let's. Let's take this first question that we have. This is from a dad in Illinois who played college baseball, and he writes, matt, love the podcast. I played in college, and I see all the things my son needs to fix, but every time I try to help him, he shuts down. My wife says I'm being too hard on him. How do I share what I know without becoming the dad he doesn't want to ride with after games?
A (1:26)
Oh, interesting. Yeah. So an episode that may help you that I did was the one where I basically introduced this concept of a lot of parents. They feel like they're the hero of their son's baseball journey. Right. And the reason I'm bringing that episode up right now is because I think as a dad who played college baseball, as you said, who has some insight to give. I think you're. You're looking at this, like, this information that I have to give. If I gave it to him, it would actually improve his circumstances and make him better. And you might be right. But the reality of this is, and I've said this to clients, too, and parents who I advise, I could say the same exact thing as you, the parent. And he'll listen to me, and he won't listen to you. That's just how this goes. Right? I mean, I remember being that way with my father. And so first, what I would encourage you to do is recognize I am not allowed to even give him this insight until I build a safe place for me to talk to him about it with, if that makes sense. Oftentimes, I think what happens is, you know, parents want to do that in the car after a game. I think that's the worst time and the worst place that any dad or mom should try to talk to their son about what they should be doing at the game. Right? There is a time and a place for it, but it's not right after that game, and it's certainly not in the car. And so what I would do is I would look at the next couple weeks or even a month, and you're not going to say anything to him that is constructive criticism. You're not going to say anything to him that it can all be looked upon as though you, like, want to give him feedback. Right. All you're going to do, as much as you can control this for the next month, is to be supportive and to try to be as supportive as possible as often as possible. And I've done this with families before. What ultimately starts to happen is, over a period of time, you now are kind of building up equity in this, like, bank that you have. And there will come a point in time where now your son recognizes, I actually want your opinion. Right? You're not. You're no longer forcing it down my throat. In fact, you're not even giving it to me anymore. And your son, who I imagine is a smart kid, is going to be looking for the opinion now, and he's going to come to you and say, dad, what do you think? And that is your opportunity to give it to him. Now, I will warn you, it is going to feel like in that moment, oh, here's the opportunity. And then you're just going to dump on them as though I've been waiting to talk to you for a month, and then just fill his head with stuff for 30 minutes. That's not the time and the place for that. I think you need to pick your battles. You need to deliver something, maybe the most important thing that you wanted to share with them, and then know that from that point forward, you want to continue doing it. You want to continue to be positive and wait for him to come to you and say, all right, dad, what do you think? And then you give him some more. That's the only way I've ever seen it work successfully. The alternative to that is to not do what I'm suggesting and really kind of continue to do a combination of what you've already been trying to do and maybe just talk louder, talk more harshly, and basically say to him, well, you're gonna figure it out, or you're not, but it's not my problem anymore. And then what does that do in your relationship? Right? It's not you're not solving anything. And so another episode that's coming to mind is the one that I did with Johan Martinez Kalilian, where we did talk about the relationships with fathers and how even to a major league player right now in the big leagues that I represent, even to him, he's still experiencing this residual effect of how his dad and him communicated when he was 13, 14, 15 years old. And this is somebody who has experienced a career that is like a dream, but he still has this difficulty communicating with his father. And so I would assume you don't want that for yourself. You don't want that for your relationship with your son. And so my. My. My advice would be what I. What I shared. So hopefully that that's helpful.