"Stop Making It About Yourself" — What Every Baseball Parent Needs to Hear - Most Valuable Agent with Matt Hannaford

Episode Summary: “Stop Making It About Yourself” — What Every Baseball Parent Needs to Hear

Podcast: Most Valuable Agent with Matt Hannaford
Host: Matt Hannaford
Date: March 18, 2026

Main Theme / Purpose

Baseball agent Matt Hannaford delivers a candid message for parents of young ballplayers: during games and on the field, keep the focus on your child, not on yourself. He explains the lasting impact parental behavior can have—both positive and negative—on a young athlete’s experience, reputation, and future opportunities. The episode gives specific, actionable advice to help parents support their children, avoid common pitfalls, and succeed in the challenging world of amateur and professional baseball.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Fundamental Role of the Parent at Games

Always Prioritize Positive Reinforcement
- During games, parents should focus exclusively on encouragement and positivity.
- “That is not a moment in time where you need to express really anything outside of positive reinforcement.” (00:33)
Negative Comments Don’t Help—and Often Backfire
- Constructive criticism or mechanical advice during games is rarely helpful and often “received in the opposite way you intend” (00:48), regardless of the parent’s intent.
- Timing and context are critical when providing feedback. Save critiques for after the game, at home, or during practice.

What Not to Do: Examples of Unhelpful Behavior

Avoid yelling instructions (“Get your foot down!” or “Keep your eye on the ball!”) during the game.
- “Him hearing that, funny enough, it actually has probably the opposite effect.” (02:17)
Don't bark at coaches, umpires, or opposing teams; your child hears your voice and feels the impact.
If you feel you “just need to get it off your chest,” pause—chances are, it’s not helpful to your child’s performance or confidence. (03:02)

Drawing the Line: Support vs. Pressure

“Support means ultimately being positive… reinforcing positivity.” (04:15)
Critique is not forbidden, but should be reserved for appropriate moments—never during games.

Coaches and Parents: Both Sides Play a Role

Hannaford calls out both problem parents and coaches with “my way or the highway” attitudes.
- “I think both are to blame. I think we all need to be mindful of the world we’re in today. And I think we need to remember that it's all about the kids.” (06:03)

The Ripple Effect: How Parental Behavior Affects Recruitment

College coaches, scouts, and recruiters observe not just the player but the family dynamic.
“All it takes is to talk to your kid in some form or fashion one time, and you’ll watch his response, and very quickly you will learn whether it worked or not.” (03:22)
Reputation matters: “These guys all know the apple does not fall that far from the tree... they’re going to be really hesitant to want to be involved with a kid or a family where there’s that much baggage.” (08:09)
The better the player, the more teams may overlook issues, but a parent’s reputation can and will hurt recruitment opportunities for most.

The “Scout in the Stands” Principle

Scouts make a point of getting to know families by blending in and listening at games.
“They want to befriend the parent... because they want to know what they're dealing with.” (09:21)
Even at ages 10–12 (and up), parents should “be somebody who anybody listening would feel like, 'Oh, that seems like a great guy.' That is what you’re trying to convey.” (10:31)

The “Army Sergeant” Analogy: How You Want to Be Seen

Imagine your child is applying to the military: composure, character, and supportiveness are the traits coaches and scouts are silently evaluating.
- “If you went to one of those... military stores at a plaza... what do you think that sergeant is looking for out of your son? The same thing applies when you’re going to a game and you have college recruiting coordinators there...” (13:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the futility of in-game “advice”:

“Anything that you share with your son that is at all considered negative or could be perceived as negative, you don’t need to share with them. Literally, don’t yell anything negative to your son during a game—period.” (02:39)
On why parents often can’t help themselves:

“Are you saying what you’re saying because you need to get it off your chest, or do you actually think it’s going to help him? ... More than likely, you’re not saying it because you think it's going to help.” (03:04)
On parental impact on recruitment and reputation:

“Let me be the first to tell you how much of a negative impact that will have on your son from the standpoint of his ability to be recruited… All of these coaches are going to be really hesitant to want to be involved with a kid or a family where there is that much baggage.” (08:09)
On what scouts are really watching at games:

“These area scouts… want to befriend the parent or a friend of a parent. They want to get to know that family as much as possible because they want to know what they’re dealing with.” (09:21)
On the meaning of being supportive:

“Your role in that is to be supportive. If you’re doing anything that is taking his attention away from performing, you’re making a mistake. You’re making it about yourself.” (05:23)
Summary principle for parents:

“Keep it positive. I’m not saying that you can’t ever offer criticism… There’s a time and a place for that. It’s just not at a game.” (15:40)

Important Segments and Timestamps

[00:12] – Introduction; the main theme: what baseball parents need to know about being positive at games.
[01:20] – Why negative comments during games don’t accomplish what parents hope.
[02:39] – Examples of unhelpful behavior and the clear “do nots.”
[04:15] – What supportive behavior looks like on game days.
[06:03] – Problems from both parental and coaching sides; the call for self-awareness.
[08:09] – The impact of parent reputation on recruitment; coaches “know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
[09:21] – Scouts blending in at games and evaluating families.
[13:02] – The “applying to the military” analogy for parental representation.
[15:40] – Final message and summary: keep all public behavior positive.

Takeaways for Parents, Coaches, and Players

Show up, support, and stay positive. Your words and actions in the stands matter, possibly more than you think.
Save criticism for private moments after the game or during practice, never in the heat of competition.
Your behavior is noticed: Scouts, coaches, and recruiters watch parents as closely as they watch young athletes.
Remember, it’s about your child, not you. The best thing you can do for their future is to be steady, encouraging, and discreet.

If you’re looking to optimize your child’s baseball journey and open doors to the next level—on and off the field—adopt the mindset Matt shares: stop making it about yourself, and make it about supporting your kid.

Transcript

A (0:12)

All right, welcome back to another episode of the Most Valuable Agent Podcast. I'm your host, Matt Hannaford, and if you have been following this podcast, you know that not only am I the host, but I'm also an agent for Major League Baseball players. So today, what I want to talk to you about is something that I get asked a lot, and it's around how a parent needs act or should act at a game for their son. Now, I want you to picture maybe your son plays travel baseball and you're at the field. The thing I want to make sure that you understand is when you're at the field, that is not a moment in time where you need to express really anything outside of positive reinforcement. That's how you need to think about this at a game. It's about being positive. Anything that you say that is negative will not be received in the way that you want it to be received in that moment. Trust me on this. Whether it was myself going through it as a kid or seeing the countless clients I've had and the battles that they've had with their parents over the years, those messages, the constructive criticism, whatever you want to call it, is never received in the way that you're intending. In fact, it's probably made to be a much bigger deal than it otherwise would be if that piece of information that you so badly wanted to share, if it was saved for later that day, for even the days that follow. If you haven't gone back and listened to my episode about you, mom or dad being the hero of your son's baseball journey, you should go back and listen to it now, because that's the reality of what I'm telling you, is you're not the one that is the center of attention. It's your son. So how can you better support him? By supporting him, not by offering criticism, not by sharing negative things about his mechanics, his swing, the way he's throwing, or anything like that. So good rule of thumb is if ultimately what your role is is to be supportive, then be supportive. Right? Encourage him. Be positive, I guess. Pick and choose the time you want to share some constructive feedback. To give you an idea of various things that parents say that are not helpful, things like anything mechanically related, right? Yelling through the fence that your son needs to get his foot down earlier. Yelling through the fence that he needs to keep his eye on the ball. I mean, these are things that our common sense. Him hearing that, funny enough, it actually has probably the. The opposite effect. He's left feeling more frustrated because he can hear you. Or maybe he can't even hear you. And so naturally, the message that you're trying to convey, it's not having the effect that you want it to have. So anything that you share with your son that is at all considered negative or could be perceived as negative, you don't need to share with them. Literally, don't yell anything negative to your son during a game period. Now, is there ever an age where it is appropriate for a parent to maybe offer some constructive feedback in the middle of a game? I can't sit here and tell you that the answer is yes. There's this perfect time, and it's when he's 18 years old, and somehow that that's like this magic number that will make him receive what you're saying. I think as a parent, what you ultimately need to understand is, you know, you know your son better than anybody. Are you saying what you're saying because you need to get it off your chest, or are you saying what you're saying because you think it's going to help him? Because all it takes is to talk to your kid in some form or fashion one time, and you'll watch his response, and very quickly you will learn whether it worked or not. So ask yourself, if you are so badly dying to share something with him, are you dying to share it because it's eating you alive and you need to get it off your chest, or do you actually think it's going to help? And chances are, I would imagine that more than likely you're not saying it because you think it's going to help. You're saying it because you need to get it off your chest. And I am telling you that is not the right approach. All right? So now I want to tell you where the line in the sand is drawn and what supportive behavior looks like as a parent and what adding pressure to your son looks like as a parent. And I think the easiest way that I could explain this to you is support means ultimately being positive, right? Reinforcing positivity. Now, I am not saying to you that you have to live in this Pollyanna world where you're never able to give him any sort of constructive feedback. What I'm saying, though, is during a game, that is not the moment in time where we're working on things, okay? That is for practice. If you have things to share with him, then I recommend that you do it either after a game and pick your spots. Maybe not after he's had a bad game, but at home, at practice. There are different times where you can offer constructive feedback. But during a game, that is not the moment that he is working on things. So in those moments during these games, you need to be positive. You need to reinforce that you believe in him. Most importantly. So let me tell you what negative behavior looks like. It looks like barking at whether it's your son, the other team. You have to remember that your son, funny enough, he knows your voice, so he's hearing all the various things that you're saying behind the scenes. If you're yelling at the coach, if you're yelling at the umpire, if you're yelling at the opposing team, the opposing coach, whatever you're doing is a reflection on him. And if anything that you're doing is pulling his attention away from the actual game itself, then you should probably reevaluate it in the game. That is the moment for your son to do what he's been preparing for. So your role in that is to be supportive. If you're doing anything that is taking his attention away from performing, you're making a mistake. You're making it about yourself. And that's where I think parents make the biggest mistake, is they make these moments about themselves. And I don't think they necessarily do it on purpose. I just think there's a lack of awareness a little bit where what I would encourage you to do is really just to think about it. If this moment in time is about your son, then how can I be as supportive as possible? And that oftentimes looks like just being positive during the game, and that's what I would recommend that you do. So if you're a dad and you're watching this and you're the dad who isn't necessarily a fan of your son's high school coach or isn't necessarily a fan of your son's travel ball coach, and you think that it's your role and responsibility to express your displeasure with the lineup, anything that he's doing. I want you to realize that in the industry, we all talk about these various parents, and we also talk about these various coaches. And you know what I mean when I'm saying this? That parent who just can't help themselves, they are always criticizing the coach. It doesn't matter what team he's on. If it's in high school, it's the high school coach. If it's in travel ball, it's the travel ball coach. And there's. There's never anybody good enough. And if you're the coach, you know, the same applies to you. If you're the Coach who thinks it's my way or the highway, Listen to me. I'm the one who knows everything. And I have this attitude towards parents that I know more than you. Just sit there and do what you're. You're told. I think both are. Are to blame. I think we all need to be mindful of the world we're in today. And I think we need to remember that it's all about the kids. And so, you know, that more than anything, is the message that I would have for both the coach and the parent. It's about the kids. It's not about you. So if everybody involved would be more interested in actually doing what's required to make the kid more successful or the players more successful, chances are, I would assume we'd all live in a much easier world where we're getting along and we're probably, you know, being a better version of ourself than we otherwise would be. All right, so let's talk about the behavior of parents. And if you're a dad and you're listening to this and I imagine you've had moments in time where you're frustrated and you feel like, oh, man, my son's coach is terrible. You know, why does he set the lineup this way? My son's better than that. You know, he should be hitting third, he should be playing third. He should be starting the game as the pitcher. And you feel that it is your role and responsibility to voice these frustrations to everybody involved out loud. Let me be the first to tell you how much of a negative impact that will have on your son from the standpoint of his ability to be recruited. Whether it is a pro scout who is at a game listening to this, or it is a college recruiting coordinator. These guys all know the apple does not far fall that far from a tree. And so because of that, all of these coaches are going to be really hesitant to want to be involved with a kid or a family where there is that much baggage. Now, the better the player, the more open maybe that organization, that college, that major league team will be to getting involved in that. But if you just think that there's no impact that your behavior will have on your son, you're sadly mistaken. All right, so here's a message for. For parents who are just kind of getting into travel baseball. And in order to tell this story, I actually first want to address things that I tell parents of players as they're going through the draft experience. One of the very first things that I tell them is be mindful of who you're next to at a game, when you're watching the game, you know, these area scouts. And you can watch any one of the episodes that I've had where area scouts have been interviewed, but they oftentimes talk about how they're trying to gather information. So they want to befriend the parent or a friend of a parent. They want to get to know that family as much as possible. Now, why do they want to get to know this family? Because they want to know what they're dealing with. And so if you are the parent of a kid who's anywhere from 10, 11, 12 years old, and you're just getting into travel, baseball, you need to be mindful of that. Still, when you're going to a game, during a game is not the moment in time where you want to express your frustration to the world, whether it's to the coach or. Or to anybody else involved, including your son. You want to be somebody who anybody listening would feel like, oh, that seems like a great guy. That is what you're trying to convey. And if you at any point need to express yourself differently, make sure that you do it at home. If you want to talk to your son, do it away from the field. Talk to him about the game away from the field, but at that field, in that moment, it is not the time to express your dissatisfaction. And that applies for, you know, when he's 10, 11, 12 years old. But again, if your son, as he gets older, if he's now being recruited by these colleges, you want to be mindful of how you are being viewed. If you are that dad who just can't help himself but feels like he needs to yell from the top of his lungs, it's not a good look. And it will undoubtedly have a negative impact on your. Your son's ability to be scouted, your son's ability to be recruited, and your son's ability to be drafted. All right, so in summary, the gist of the message I'm trying to convey, and this may be extreme, but forgive me, I want you to visualize if your son was applying to the military and you guys walked into a meeting with, we've all seen those. Those. Those stores in the, in the little plazas, and it's like, you know, you're going to go in there and you're going to sign an application to join the Army. What do you think the expectation would be from that sergeant or whomever you're meeting with, as far as what they're looking for in your son? That is essentially the message that you're trying to convey to the world as you show up to the field. You want everybody looking at you to think you're a good parent, you're supportive. That is the message you're trying to convey as a parent. The reason you're watching this podcast is because you've got a son. I imagine he has ambitions of playing in college, in professional baseball, and you want to do everything that is within your power to make his potential future, his dreams, a reality. Right. I'm assuming that's why you're watching this. And so because of that, you care. Now, would you ever put your son in a compromising position? I'm assuming no. Right. So if I told you that going to a game and you expressing your viewpoint to your son negatively, the coach, the umpire, the opposing team, was going to make your son look bad, would you do it? No. So just keep it simple. Think about if you went to one of those, you know, military stores at the. At a plaza, and you're. You were going to sign your son up for the army and you meet a sergeant, and that sergeant has you fill out the application, or what do you think that sergeant is looking for out of your son? The same thing applies when you're going to a game and you have college recruiting coordinators there watching your son. If they realize that you, mom or dad is a hothead, that, oh, my gosh, you're unbearable, that, oh, you're, you're a nightmare. Right. I know parents who have heard that. Do you think that is going to help his chances or hurt them? It's going to hurt them. So the. The rule of thumb for me is keep it positive. I'm not saying that you can't ever offer criticism or constructive criticism to your son. There's a time and a place for that. It's just not at a game. So when you show up at a game, that's the time to be positive. And then later on, you can worry about everything else. All right? So I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know it was quick. If you like the episode, if you like the podcast, please, like, subscribe and share. Ultimately, I'm trying to help other families, just like you, improve their situation. So it certainly helps the show that. That, you know, you share it with others. So until then, I will see you next.