In today’s episode of Mother of the Sword, I speak with one of my dearest friends—also a Leo (in Western astrology), a psychologist and spiritual counselor, and a lifelong yogini, Dr. Varsha Choudhari. We dive deep into how India was once a matriarchal society—and still is in some places—where the rivers themselves are worshipped as goddesses, and how the awakening of Kundalini holds a sacred, embodied purpose in our lives as women.

Let’s face it, things are ending. Ouch. And thank Goddess. The more we merge with the truth of our lives, the more we are asked to let go- inside and out.

Since the election in the US, many people are still frozen, unable to feel the immensity of what is happening. If you have been paying attention to Palestine these past years, then you aren’t unfamiliar with this experience. There hasn’t been a day since October 7th 2023 that I haven’t felt immense grief and rage with and for the people of Palestine. I believe Palestinians, should be free and protected to exist and on their land. Period.

Although I’ve been deeply spiritual and considered myself a mystic since I started dropping acid in high school and reading Alan Watts, I often found myself forced to practice the skill of finding the “baby in the bathwater,” as they say. This means sorting through the messy, uncomfortable, layers of false beliefs and patriarchal conditioning to find the truth—the essence—that remains. And, no doubt, it’s a skill that has proven helpful and necessary.

But what if I don’t want to work that hard? What if I don’t want to sift through layers of someone else’s unprocessed trauma and bullshit just to uncover something pure? Haven’t I been doing that since I was born - for my parents and society?

All the ancient traditions point to something inside us, something they say is the truth of our being, and they all remind us that these teachings are just "fingers pointing to the moon." But why, then, do I find myself constantly having to navigate around authorities I would never allow into my own home? If the moon—the Divine, the truth—is already within my own body, why do I not always perceive it? What has happened to us as humans? (A deep, grieving sigh.)

All my mystical, aka direct, experiences of the Divine were raw, unfiltered—pure. There was no dogma, no intermediary, no rules to follow, and not even a rejection of those rules. She was, and is, here, coursing through me, in the marrow of my bones, the pulse of my heartbeat.

And sometimes, depending on how thick the patriarchal lens is clouding my view, I can assure you, there is no baby in that bathwater. Not for me, anyway. I poured the bowl over my hear and blessed my tired body and aching heart instead.

What I felt was not something to be separated, filtered, or cleaned up. It was already whole, already sacred, already alive within me, as it always has been. Shattered by this world, yet cradled by those that dwell beyond it.

A pull I’ve felt over the past five years is toward the ancient rituals and forms of worship that predate Christianity, that existed before all religion—those that ground us in the Earth, in the body, in the sacred.

Have you ever made a fire from a bow drill? Felt that first spark of light ignite, rising from nothing but friction, Earth, a delicate dance of effort and surrender, with air feeding it all? I have. It was one of the holiest things I’ve ever experienced. What about that first spark of fire? The moment when something raw, ancient, and alive is born from the simplest elements?

My satisfaction for this desire to know the primal deepened when I encountered the tradition of the Tarantella, shared by my teacher Alessandra Belloni. This isn’t just about exorcising the "demons" from women, LGBTQ+ individuals, and queer folks; it’s a primal, embodied ritual of dance and drum that calls us back to the raw eros—the aliveness—so often suppressed in societies that fail to protect the sacred pulse of life.

Even in India, a few years ago, in a Lakshmi temple in Mumbai, it was late, and they invited us to stay for the temple’s closing. The doors closed behind us, and we sat together, lotus in hand, eyes closed, breathing deeply, feeling the living sacred feminine power stir within us. The energy in the space was palpable—alive, electric. And then, we heard the call. When we returned to the altar for one last look at the goddesses—who usually shine with golden faced masks—what I saw instead were three stones, interconnected, painted with red kumkum. And I felt it again, that pull, to the primal, to the earth beneath my feet, to the stones, to the power of the sacred feminine that moves through us all.

What happened to worshipping the Earth as the Goddess, the Sun as the lifeblood of existence, the Sky as holy ground where our spirits can rise and rest in sacred embrace?

I invite you to listen and feel what resonates with you. Share in the comments what stands out—let’s stir these conversations together. We have ways of tithing to Varsha's offerings and service, providing accessible therapy and spiritual counseling to those in need in Pune, just reach out to us of rat info. So much gratitude to Varsha for sharing her story and wisdom and to Jeff from Cosmic Cousins for editing and producing our podcast with so much love. Check them out here.

Blessings for this full moon, in all her wild, radical, bold energy. Let’s continue to build this new world, grounded in truth and love. We have two in-person workshops coming up—one in Ojai with Alessandra Belloni and a Magdalene Medicine Pilgrimage in the South of France.

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Goddess existed before religion.

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