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I had the blessing years back of working with Paula Abdul when she was at American Idol, and she had this great statement. She said that, you know, the thing about the extra mile that's so great is there's no traffic after the extra mile because so many people, they won't go. They will not go the extra mile. They won't care about the details. They. They won't do that one extra thing with a smile. They won't take care of others. They won't try hard. Why? They've been discouraged in the past. They've been let down in the past. Someone judged them in the past and in their identity. They felt smaller in their intentions. They felt discouraged. And so they decided to just go through the motions. But I know. I know why you're here. I know that you get into personal development because you're in a moment of transition. You're in a moment of thinking about that next level and how to get there. Listen to that impulse about going to the next level. We're going to talk about the topic of doing your best today, but I'm not going to play average here. I'm not going to suggest that you just survive and you carry on. No, we're going to talk about a higher level of performance and excellence that you, your family, your team, your legacy and destiny, desire and deserve. Too many people right now are playing small. Too many people are just going through the motions, hoping to survive the day, hoping to get the paycheck, hoping to be able to have time at night to watch some Netflix and maybe hang around on the weekend. Those things, there's nothing wrong with those. But if those things come at the cost or in the place of our desire that we all feel in our life, that pull, that impulse to stretch ourselves and demonstrate the best of ourselves, then we got to have a talk. And I think we need a societal talk right now. You know, we often forget that the human condition is built to evolve, that we evolve in our talent, our capabilities, our maturity, our wisdom as we age, as we have more experience. And some of us have learned to dampen down that or turn away from that strength or that spirit to. To grow. And I tell people all the time, it's like there is something inside of you that desires true excellence, where that means for you a certain level of craftsmanship, or that means for you a certain level of leadership or a certain level of earning or certain level of mastery at your craft, your industry, what you do for a mission or career. I'm here to tell you that turning away from that or turning that down, beware. It comes at your own peril. See, what happens is sometimes we get around other people who are just going through the motions, and human beings, because we have our really fanciful mirror neurons in our brain, we tend to mimic other people. We mimic their facial gestures when we're kids. We mimic how hard they study when we're in a peer group in school, we mimic what the people at work are doing. And we forget that there's a drive. And that drive is inside to push to our best limits of giving, of service, of excellence. And it's so important to listen and to tap into that impulse this time of year, because it's so easy to fall back into the old ways, to just kind of survive throughout the day. And we miss the activation that comes from the push. A lot of people say, brendan, I'm just not motivated. I'm like, I know, but you're not doing anything. If you read the motivation manifesto, you understand that the research shows that so much of our motivation doesn't happen and then we do something, but rather, when we get in motion, when we get momentum, it's momentum that builds increased motivation. Well, the difference is there's momentum to nowhere, and there's momentum to our best. And when we sense we are on the road to our best, a different level of drive is summoned up again. So don't dampen down the impulse to stretch yourself, to challenge yourself. Why are people so excited at the beginning of, you know, January, as example? Well, because they've set some goals for the first time in a long time. They've looked at them, they've thought about their future, and they believe in their own potential again. There's something magical at that time where we all just believe in our potential again. But we get a couple weeks in, you stop thinking about it, you stop pushing yourself, and all of a sudden what happens? You fall back to average or baseline for your own performance. That's why high performers are always courageously upping the level. It's not because they want to pressure themselves or ruin themselves or work themselves to death like a lot of people believe is true? No, but in reality, they're levering up on purpose. Why? Because it makes them feel alive, why it makes them a better parent, why they're a better teacher, caregiver, leader. Why they can build something that's not average. They can build something that matters, that lasts, that leaves a legacy or impacts other people. Now, I know it's very easy to say, well, Brandon, you don't know Me, I'm just trying to survive or. You don't know. My husband, he's got none of that drive you're talking about. Oh, no, everybody has it. It's called evolution. And it's called the human spirit. What happens is we kick it out of ourselves or we let other people jerk it out of ourselves and suddenly we don't sense it as much anymore because of what we've chosen to do, because of our fears, and because of the peer pressure around us to fit in and to belong. I always decided I want to make sure that I'm in a group or I'm in a room of people who their level of mastery or income or leadership or intention or strategy or way of living is above my own. You've heard that phrase, don't ever be the smartest person in the room. The intention there is get around people who are another level above you, not because they're special or superior, but because maybe they know something you don't. Or maybe they've been around a little longer, or maybe they have more experience in that one way. Or maybe they're mentors, coaches, people who can support your own growth and elevation that's so important. Many of you know, I run a mastermind for people in my industry, for people trying to build their personal brand or build an online brand or trying to build their online sales or build software. You know, startup folks, entrepreneur folks, and people join those types of groups, just like I did at the very beginning of my career. Because you want that push. You want that push, and frankly, we all need it now because the push has become a pull of media companies. And so this drive, this potential we have, it is sucked away because our attention is not given to our craft. Our attention is now given to consumption. And so we wonder why we don't have as much drive anymore. Well, you scroll through a bunch of stuff for a couple days versus doing a bunch of stuff a couple days, and you realize you're not on your path. You're not stretching yourself. You're not being pushed. Well, I hope that what I'm really about is your human potential. What I hope I'm about is a desire for you to grow into the best of who you are. No matter what becoming more means. I just want you to be on that path for yourself. Not by my definition. That's why you never see me on social media. Like, hey, look at my jets, in my houses and my cars and my whatevers. It's. No, it's always about you. All of my work for 20 years has been an encouragement for you to find what is authentic and meaningful for you, to find what makes you alive, to find what makes you feel connected to yourself and other people. To find what's meaningful and fulfilling to you. I don't have your answer, but I do understand human behavior enough to know that you have an impulse to stretch, to grow. Don't run away from that. I believe that part of doing our best isn't doing just what we are capable of now. It's not just about surviving. Even though I know there's times in our lives that that's real. I always talk about it right when you have a newborn, when you just transitioned to something, when you're sick, when someone in your family is sick and you're just trying to make it through the hours of the day. We all have moments like that. We all have times like that. There's seasons in which our family is going through something where we're only capable of so much. But often what people don't understand is what that's really about is about the hours we're able to give something else. But the minutes we spend, we still get decide, am I going to be an awesome parent right now? We still get to have the intention of, am I okay? I only got an hour to work right now on my dream. Let me be focused, let me be clear, let me be outstanding. Let me. I'm going to set the clock, and in 60 minutes, I'm going to wow myself. Go versus just show up, tool around, browse around. I think we have to teach ourselves to go beyond our comfort zones. You know, I had the blessing years back of working with Paula Abdul when she was at American Idol, and she had this great statement. She said that, you know, the thing about the extra mile that's so great is there's no traffic after the extra mile. Because so many people, they won't go. They will not go the extra mile. They won't care about the details. They won't do that one extra thing with a smile. They won't take care of others. They won't try hard. Why? They've been discouraged in the past. They've been let down in the past. Someone judged them in the past and in their identity, they felt smaller in their intentions, they felt discouraged. And so they decided to just go through the motions. But I know. I know why you're here. I know that you get into personal development because you're in a moment of transition. You're in a moment of thinking about that next level and how to get there. Listen to that impulse about going to the next level. I like to tell people it's also important not to lower your ambition to average. You know, I had this weird experience. One of the first books I would say I made a mistake on in writing was I was writing this book called the activating the 10 human drives that make you feel alive. And I had done, like, three years of research and neuroscience in it, and it was a kind of a technical book about brain function. And that happened because I had been in an accident where I got a traumatic brain injury. And I was really fighting to get my spark back in life, and I was struggling. So I started studying a lot of psychology and neuroscience to understand what can I do to feel not just like myself again, but feel better again. Because I didn't want to go through all this just to feel normal. I wanted to feel better. And so I started studying all that, and I wrote the book. And probably one of my biggest artistic mistakes in my career was when I turned the book in. One of the editors for the book came back and said, brendan, you know, this is just a little bit too complex. I don't think people are gonna understand all this brain stuff. And I don't think to make the points you're trying to make, you actually need to tell them how they're, you know, the. The nuances of the molecules in their amygdala. I don't think that they really need to understand this brain region versus that brain region to tell them, you know, how to sleep better or, you know, and I think the person was right at the time. And unfortunately, I followed the advice. I pulled out what I felt like was really pioneering ways to look at it. And then over the next five years, I watched a bunch of people become rather famous for writing the same type of book and teaching the world more clearly about neuroscience than a book I'd written five years ago. And here's what I befell. I befell the advice of dumb it down. You know, so many great teachers, when they start out, they are phenomenal. You look at their lesson plans. The complexity in new teachers lesson plans is often inspiring. There's innovation, there's awesomeness there. And then as they tend over their career, research tends to show that less complexity in their lesson plans emerge. Now, if you're a teacher, as I have been throughout my life, it's easy to say, well, you know, I just got tired, or I, you know, made it easier, or, you know, they weren't getting it. And what our at large, our educational system has supported is let's make it easier on people. I know even in my own online training, when I was building courses for major companies, they would tell me, you know what? Make it for the lowest common denominator so anyone can understand this. And I one time turned to a CEO on a multimillion dollar contract and I looked at her straight in the eyes and I said, do you want me to train your people to be the lowest common denominator? And I'll tell you the shock in her eyes. And then I coached her and her executive team for three hours on how that mentality has been driving all of their culture and results for years. It blew their mind. They realized, oh my gosh, we've been dumbing everything down and we've been placating everybody. Instead of leveling people up and demanding excellence, demanding that they grow, demanding that they perform at high levels so that we can have an inspiring culture of progress and service to those who we lead, we decided to make everything dumb proof was their language. Make it dumb proof for our people. And I'm like, you know what? I don't want to work with a bunch of people who need everything to be dumb proofed. I want to work with explorers, navigators, pioneers, innovators, leaders, high achievers, people who are willing to go that extra mile. So beware of being around people who tell you to dumb it down, bring it to the lowest common denominator. Just fit in, don't rock the boat, because those people are not putting you on the path to your best. I'll say this last thing, this do your best concept or aspiring to excellence or having the ambition to climb, don't forget that we do that not just for ourselves. We do that because we are setting the tone and we get to choose to inspire others. Very few people are ever going to be inspired or have their lives changed by you not showing up as your best. It's when you show up with strength and heart and resilience. Even when you're going through something difficult, when you're kind to others, even when others have been mean to you, when you're frustrated or uncertain, but you keep trying. People see that and they're inspired to keep trying when they they're frustrated or unsure. So much about personal development is about really social influence. Yes, we can gain self mastery, but what's self mastery if we don't also have social impact? The ability to help others, improve others, serve others. I say today my growth day, friends, do your best. Follow that impulse to strive to improve don't apologize for your ambition. Go the extra mile. Don't lower yourself to average or the lowest common denominator. Try to improve yourself and get on that path where you feel like, wow, I'm really pushing myself, I'm challenging myself, because that will be something that drives you, motivates you even more. And ultimately, when people see you on your own authentic path to manifesting your full potential, they find themselves inspired and walking on a path of their own, reaching for their own next level. Yesterday I was talking with a dear friend who was recognizing that he'd been struggling with having as much motivation and joy as he used to. And of course, being the coach, I said, well, what do you mean by used to? What did it used to be like? And what we came to understand was that this person used to travel a lot. And like many of us before the pandemic, we tended to see more people than we typically did throughout the pandemic. So his social exposure with others had gone down, but at the same time his social media consumption had gone up. Many of us turned to our devices and social media to connect with other people when we were experiencing any quarantine or changes in lifestyle or work style because of the pandemic. Well, some unintended consequences came from that. This person started to realize they were unhappier and couldn't quite place their finger on it. They still were doing things they used to do for a career. They still had outrageous reasons to be happy because they had a healthy family, good kids, good paying job, meaningful work. You think about what we talk in personal development or in growth day, a lot about that triangle of what we all really want is a sense of aliveness, connection and meaningful pursuits and growth. Well, seemed like all those things were being checked off to me. So I was listening to the person's psychology as they were describing things and then it just came back to a recurrent conversation about social media. And what happened for this person is what happened to many people in that as social media consumption went up, especially when we talk about social media that is not educational or empowering, you know, just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling doom. Scrolling through news or you know, scrolling through everybody else's lives to see what it's about, two things are happening. Number one, that is triggering judgment and it is making us hyper judgmental. Right every scroll and every swipe left or right is what it's a judgment. It's a decision forced upon ourselves in the act of consuming media. Right as we scroll every tap is a decision to either stop and look or not. Then it's a decision of watch this or don't read this or don't like this or don't read the comments or don't worth sharing or not. All those decisions are judgments. Is it worth it or is it not? And we do that thousands of times as we scroll through social media. You know, average Americans are consuming over 60 minutes of social media a day, which is costing them weeks of their adult lives every year. That could be turned towards productive or happy or even meaningfully connected moments away from social media. Now this isn't to say social media is bad, it's just to say that that time we should be attentive to. We do get one life and one life only. So what do we think about this? Well, this person started, you know, judging themselves, which that's what social media does, creates hyper judgmental mental mentalities because it's training us to do that. But the second thing is it triggers comparison. And this is what we got to yesterday. Have you ever scrolled through a bunch of social media? You know, you sat down, you're feeling kind of good and just kind of happy. And then you saw a neighbor who had something or a friend who went on a great trip. And here, you know, an hour or two earlier you're happy with your partner or your spouse. And here you are now scrolling through something and you see someone on a trip. Well, we don't go on no trips no more. I'm just stuck in this house with a smelly person. And all of a sudden your attitude changes. Well, that's because you started comparing your immediate life to other people's lives, most of which are filtered and fictionalized. And so the comparison becomes a virus in your mind. And now almost everything you filter your life through is through the lens of what other people have enjoyed or are doing versus yourself. Now the truth is, comparison is an evolutionary thing that we do. It's a behavior that have served us. If we're going out in the woods every day and we're coming out with no food, but we see our neighbor, we compare ourselves. Well, that person's also going in, but they're taking a different route and they're coming out with a whole lot more abundance than we are, that's something to pay attention to, paying attention to others and what we have and they have helped us survive. It's also biologically built in. You know, in our brains we have this famous mirror neuron network that makes us mimic other people. It's why when someone else smiles at you, you tend to smile back. It's we mirror other people, the mirror neurons, right? It's biological to compare, to see what other people are doing and mimic or do something similar. Or our brain's impulse is to want to do something similar. And so that is normal. But if we are triggering that thousands of times with scrolling up and down, guess what? Now our life doesn't feel so good. And we think, well, everyone else has so much better. Look at gosh, she's earning more. Gosh, he's in front of that plane. Oh, gosh, they're on this great trip. Or look how happy this couple looks and we're not. And that comparison starts stealing joy from our everyday life. I wrote a lot about this in the motivation manifesto. And we come to realize that social media, of course, is not the only thing triggering hyper judgmental actions or comparisons. But it's a convenient metaphor, isn't it? And so this person, because of the pandemic, they weren't out and about connecting with as many people. Now they were home scrolling through and they started comparing their life. And this person had be previously very happy, but now awash in dreams and hopes of other people's lives because of the comparison of social media. They weren't happy. They were even sharing how they were jealous or envious of how other people did their social media. Not just what they were doing or experiencing in life, but they're like, oh, I like how she does her headline. You know, oh my God, it's just like, oh, how, how, how terrible we are to ourselves. So I want to share something with you. Life's about running your own race. It's about judging yourself based on whether or not this day you showed up as the best of who you are, lived an authentic life for you, where you're at, at this stage of your life and whether or not you had meaningful and positive intentions to do good, to serve, to grow, to do your best. Run your own race. Ask am I progressing in my life? Not am I measuring up to others. Ask, am I ensuring that I feel alive in this moment? Am I staying connected to who I really am and to the meaningful people around me? Am I pursuing things that draw fulfillment? These types of questions are the things we ought to look at several times a day and consider in our lives versus other people's lives? Now, I know you can say, well, gosh, but Brennan, my life isn't what I want it to be. And you know, so I follow other aspirational figures. I'm like, great, that's called empowerment. That's good. Or you could say, brennan, I hate looking at my own life and wondering whether or not I'm measuring up to your aliveness and your connection and your meaningful pursuits. Easy for you to say. Okay, then don't compare it to my framework. What's your framework for living a good life? Build your own that's part of running your own race. Have your own measures, your own things that you are tracking in your life. If the ones we provide in grow day are the ones I talk about are useful to you, awesome. If they're not, create your own framework to follow. But be paying attention to that as much as you're paying attention to other people's lives. See, we pay so much attention now to the media, to the world, to the news, to bitcoin, to whatever else is going on that we're scrolling through that we're excited about. Let's pay attention to our heart again. Are we living our own authentic life? Let's pay attention to the moment again. Am I finding my center? Am I being present in the moment? Am I being here with others when they're talking with me? Am I giving my full attention to what Jonathan Fields was calling the exquisiteness of the moment? Let's pay attention to whether or not we're giving effort towards things that we enjoy and we find meaningful. We can pay attention to things that we choose to pay attention to, not just those that are thrown up on our phone. I think this lesson might serve you today. I'd love for you to think about this. Maybe you can architect your own learning journey. This year. We With Social Media I'm somebody I only use social media for education and empowerment, meaning I follow aspirational friends or family who, when I feel like staying connected to them, makes me a better person, reminds me of important things, or connects me to them in relationships. I don't really spend that much time at all looking at any social media outside of that. It's not because I'm not curious of the world. It's because that other stuff that I was talking about takes up plenty of the time. And the rest of the time I want to be focused on real people texting, calling, facetiming, or interacting in real life with the people who matter, with the people who I'm going to build a legacy with, a business with a lifetime of good memories with. You get to choose what you pay attention to. What is it? I hope it's the things that are important to you.