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If you want to avoid regret, you've got to learn to live that authentic self acceptance life. That part of you that makes sure you're showing up spontaneously, real, in touch with who you are and what's important to you. And that most importantly, you don't just think about who you should be or who you really are, you express it. Authentic self expression is at the heart of that today. Let's talk about your life and about this important topic in personal development of comparison. I wonder, how much did you compare yourself to other people this week? And what was the net positive or negative effect of that? You know, I've written quite a bit about this, especially in my book the Motivation Manifesto, about how comparison can truly rip one from their own sense of authentic living, can take you away from your own life's agenda. And of course, we all know that it can certainly lead to misery as well. You know, every swipe, left or right, scroll up and down, is an immediate unconscious comparison. You see somebody else and it's very easy for you to think, am I like that? Why don't I have what she has? They look better. Look at their vacation. Why am I alone? Boy, that's so smart. Why can't I do that? How come their content is better than mine? Oh, I need to do videos like that with those funny headlines. Omg. But over a period of time, you know, we really have to think consciously about comparison. And so maybe this will be a topic for you to journal about today. I'll keep this one brief. I just think there's three things to really consider. Number one, most comparison makes us miserable. It really does. It causes so much fomo. It causes a sense that we're not like them, we don't belong. And incredibly, social media was supposed to connect us. And what comparison on social media usually does is divide us, makes us realize how unlike others we often are. And that's too bad. In our real lives, when we see friends, family, others, we compare ourselves and how we look, how we dress, how we measure up, how much we've achieved, how much we've earned, how far along we are at a certain age. And if we let our mind go unchecked, it will take us into a place that feels insecure and unworthy. And that's how you know if you feel insecure or unworthy. I promise you there's comparison going on and often it's unfair comparison. You're being so hard on yourself, not giving yourself grace, not giving yourself credit. And even though you have plenty of reasons to be happy, or fulfilled in life. Comparison is ripping that joy and that sense of progress away. So beware, be thoughtful. Second, comparison, though, can make us feel motivated. You know, there's something about, if you ever played sports in your life, comparing your stats or your team to another team's, it can be motivating. It can help you want to compete in a positive way. It can say, hey, you know what? I'm going to have to level up here. I see what these other people are doing, and I can be honest enough and say, you know what, they're doing a little better than I am, or I want to win that award or I want to win that championship, and it's okay to allow ourselves to compare and go, hmm, I'm going to have to skill up, level up, get better. If that's motivating in a positive way, that it doesn't cause the misery or the unfair comparisons of the first bucket of miserable comparison, then we can find it motivating. I love looking at friends or peers in my particular industry and seeing what they're doing and really learning and feeling motivated by what they're sharing, what they're doing. And it's a healthy thing for me. And yet still, I definitely limit it quite a bit because I know how easy that bucket can fall back into the miserable bucket. But maybe is there are folks you can look up to or folks that you can use as a driver of motivation. I work with tons of teams and tons of organizations, and sometimes you just pick out that. That quote, unquote bad guy or that bigger company or that better player, and you just use them as an anchor to getting better. You say, I'm gonna have to really level up to get there. And you use them as motivation to get better. I really think that is a positive thing for most people. Finally, in comparison, you can also be mentored by it. I learn a lot from watching other people, and I learn a lot from watching leaders, and I mean thought leaders, people who are deeply conscientious about how they live their life. They live in integrous behaviors with what their values are. They are leaders in their field, and often they're leaving breadcrumbs behind. They're dropping knowledge about what helped them succeed or giving a particular philosophy that helps others. And by paying attention to what other people are doing in that way, I'm mentored, I learn, I get the map. And so comparison can be miserable, it can be motivating, and it can be something that's part of your mentoring program. I'm sure many of you have followed one of the coaches here in Growth day before and received a lot of motivation and mentorship from them. So I'm not the guy who's going to say all comparison is bad. I am here to suggest you must be self aware. So hop over into your journal today and just capture where have you been comparing yourself with others in a way that has not felt good? Where have you been following others in a way that does feel good? What does that mean to your feelings each week? And if you find net net it makes you feel worse. You got to really adjust that behavior in life, in real life and in social media. Today's topic is Anti regret. You know, so many people end up in a place where they have tremendous regrets about their lives, about how they lived it, how they treated other people, what they did or didn't do, who they became or didn't become. And what we engage in personal development for is so that we develop and become the persons we are proud of to engage with. Self improvement reminds us, hey, keep improving, keep learning so that we feel like we're progressing and gaining momentum towards our best selves. And all of that comes with high expectation but also true personal responsibility that says, hey, I can architect the life I am proud of, that I love. But of course we make mistakes along the way. We mess up, we ruin relationships, we have tough times, sometimes the cards don't stack up in the right way for us and so we have to be diligent about staying in the game, being ourselves, living a life that we can be proud of. And so four ideas for you here today. Ensuring that you don't end up super regretful. Many of you have studied a lot of the research as I have in psychology that shows what people feel like when they regret things at the end of their lives. And you know, one of the primary things is they regret not being fully themselves. They sense that they have sort of lived a facade or a fake life in some ways, often not in every area, but they recognize that they weren't really living out the fullest, truest expression of who they felt like they were in their heart and in their soul. They didn't follow their values or their impulses towards their potential. And so when they talk with other people, they put up a brick wall or when they dealt with other people, they tried so hard to belong that they became somebody else. And if you want to avoid regret, you've got to learn to live that authentic self acceptance life. That part of you that make sure you're showing up spontaneously real in touch with who you are and what's important to you. And that most importantly, you don't just think about who you should be or who you really are, you express it. Authentic self expression is at the heart of that. Second, thing that people regret often is not doing something specifically. For a lot of people, it's not taking consistent actions towards architecting the life they desire. Not taking consistent action towards getting better, not taking consistent action to chase their dreams. It's an issue of consistency, discipline, persistence over a period of time. Often they'll regret something. I regret I didn't do this thing or achieve that thing, or manifest that dream. But behind that is a failure to act consistently. So what do you need to start taking action toward if you're going to live your ideal life? And is that thing that you need to take action toward, Is it in your schedule somewhere? Is it in your calendar? Are you prioritizing time for it? Are you working on Mondays to set up your growth day plan and just writing out the plan and all the to dos to get there and setting up deadlines and reminders? Because if we're not planning it and scheduling it, we're not going to act towards it. Maybe we do once in a while when we have an impulse, but we're not gonna be disciplined and persistent. Third, a lot of regret comes from not having adventure in life. For some people, this means they didn't travel the globe. For some people means they didn't leave their state. For some people, it means they didn't introduce enough variety or challenge to feel that spiritual or emotional sense of adventure. In other words, they played it too safe. They didn't take risks, they didn't explore the world or other people or other places. They stayed in their own little cocoon of safety and didn't venture outside of it. So they didn't not only see other things or experience other things, they didn't grow. And so where's the adventure in your life? Is it scheduled? Are you going out with some friends to a new place? Are you planning a trip to a new place? Are you reading books or associating with people who have different perspectives or ideas than maybe you grew up with? Are you taking some risks to challenge yourself? All of these are a sense of our own adventure. And if we can schedule it and put it in there, even if it's just one vacation a year, or trying a new restaurant every weekend, or once a month with your sweetheart to go somewhere new, to shake things up and sense something new, try new things, you'll want to feel that you did that. And last but not least, sometimes people regret their lives because they didn't appreciate it along the way. They weren't aware of the beauties of life. They didn't recognize how good they had it. They didn't appreciate others in their life, so others in their life moved on. Or they didn't appreciate the people they did have while they had them. They didn't take moments to stop and smell the roses, to establish a gratitude journal to capture all those small, little, seemingly meaningless moments that of course add up to a life well lived. Those simple moments. Those beautiful moments. Those moments you can deeply appreciate. Looking back on these four areas are a simple anti Regret Plan Number one Live authentically. Accept yourself. Express the true expression of who you are. Share what you really feel, think, desire and dream of with other people. Talk with real spontaneity and truth. Live the best of who you are each day. Not waiting for one day and not cramming yourself into other people's expectations, but rather living who you really are versus conforming, achieving a sense of personal freedom and authenticity. Second, take action. Take consistent, persistent action towards your dreams. Take action towards your passions, your hobbies, the things that bring you alive. Even if you don't know exactly what they are, you don't know your exact purpose. That's okay. I think it's important to take action toward the things that you are curious about, interested in, passionate about, or even obsessed or compelled to go do that is healthy and important for your growth. Third Adventure. Schedule it. Please schedule that adventure so you don't have regrets that you didn't try new things, go to new places, see the world, or take a few risks out and about beyond your comfort zones. And last, appreciate it. Be thankful. Be grateful. I share this all the time. That one of the easiest things you can do to improve your life, based on almost all research in psychology, especially intervention work, is make sure you keep a gratitude journal. All you got to do is every night before you go to bed, open up your growth day app. Go to the journal. Type in just two or three sentences of something you appreciated today, something you noticed today, something you're thankful for. Little moments, big moments, large celebrations, or just small wins. Or just a daily reality. A daily feeling that felt good. Something that's positive, that you can capture every day. Go to the journal. Gratitude. Just a few sentences. Just a few sentences over a period of time that adds up to a feeling and a sensation and a mindset of appreciation. Because what's the point if we don't appreciate the ride, you know what I'm saying?