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Some weeks, not much happens. Other weeks it feels monumental. But either way, fresh eyes for you, Fresh page, new chapter. You get to tell yourself the story of what's going to happen this week, and then you get to manifest it and live into it. And I think that's incredibly empowering. I'd love to talk about the negative bandwagon effect, which is really about the energy that you are feeling about the world. You know, it's popular today to pile on the negativity bandwagon and just tour all about town all day long, complaining, upset, thinking everything's so terrible. And the truth is, very few people fully grasp a deep appreciation for their lives and all the opportunities around them. And so what we're always trying to do in growth day is bring a little more gratitude into your life to help you recognize how good things are going, not just in your life. Because, listen, sometimes in your life, it's not good. You have those days where your mind is trapped in the gray of sadness or anxiety or frustration or anger or hurt. You have those weeks where you don't feel like you're getting as much done as you want to. You have those times when you don't feel supported sometimes even by the people in your own house. Sometimes you look at the bank account, you think, oh, my gosh, what am I doing? I mean, it's not that every day is this perfect day. It's not that every day everything is going so well that you feel like you're striving at the speeds you can. And the truth of the matter is, we have plenty of dark days. But I think if we can keep perspective and at growth day, we can share some of the good news out there in the world. Then you know what? Sometimes we just need that reminder to lift our heads from our phones and our computers to remember that we have this breath and that we don't have to jump onto every single bandwagon effect of people complaining all the time. I think there's three negative bandwagons I see all the time that I just don't ever get on. The first one is the statement that all people are blank. You hear this all the time in the media. Sorry, I had to do it, but it's so true. You hear it. All Democrats are this way, or all the left is that way, or all Republicans are that way or all the right is this way. We say that all influencers are like this or. Or all black people are like that, or all rich people are like this or all poor people are like that or all people in Russia are like this, or all those people in Australia are like that. And you hear these generalizations and these globalizations all the time by so many people. And I think that as soon as you hear that, I hope it makes you crack a smile and realize the person saying that is either hopefully saying it in jest or they truly aren't sure what they're talking about. Because of course, not all people are like anything. We might all share a very similar humanity, but how we are individually, even in groups, is incredibly diverse. And how we approach the day, how we think about our lives and our family. Yes, we can say that most people want certain things. We all want a sense of aliveness and connection and meaning. Some things like that psychologically would be hard to argue, but I'm talking about the specific negativity bandwagons. See, we can say all people are blank and think that that is true, especially when we're talking about human values or things that we all aspire to as human beings and as a species that tries to survive and evolve. But what you usually hear out there is all people are negative, right? All people are bad, hurtful, awful, jerks. Most people aren't espousing how most people truly want to give, want to live good lives, want to make a difference, want to have and care for their families in such a way that they're proud of their efforts and they feel connected to others and they make a difference. But the reality is, most of what you hear today is all people are. And that blank is filled in with a negative statement. I'd love for you to tune your ears to that when you hear that. Maybe don't participate, maybe don't pile on, maybe don't think. We have to all be in attack mode against one another all the time, fearing that everybody's terrible out there and we have to be in attack mode. I fear that that's what's happening. I see it all the time. I've seen it every year of my adult life. That it seems that the negativity about other people has continued to grow. Other people, meaning whatever groups are outside of yourself. We do have a human bias to assume that other people are very different than we are. And we tend to assume that other people are not as moral, ethical, giving, and thoughtful as we are. It's weird. We make those assumptions about people today mostly because of this negativity bias that we have psychologically, but certainly culturally, this negative bandwagon effect which assumes everybody is bad. You know, if you and I ever hung out for a couple days. You would notice how many conversations I walk away from. You know, I'm a person who's a public figure. So I've spent most of my life, you know, in groups, in large hotels, arenas, conference centers, you know, walking up to people, networking, getting to know people. And I can tell you there's been, I mean, thousands of interactions where, you know, I'm at the bar or the punch table or the food line or, you know, in a networking situation or conference or event where I might walk up to a group of two, three, four people or four or five people are gathered around me. And soon as I start hearing that group tip into the negative bandwagon, I just decide not to jump on and I leave the conversation. I do so politely without any negative judgment to them. I just know that that's not a conversation that's going to be helpful. I can always hear if it's just constantly complaining or accusing or talking about the negativity of others versus really discussing problems and proposing solutions. I want to be a part of productive conversations that move the needle forward, that make the world a more positive and better place. And I'm not going to get that by being around a bunch of people trying to take down other people. Being around a bunch of other people who assume that everybody is terrible, I know that can quickly poison my mind. I'm like somebody who also has one of those things. I don't know what's about me. Maybe you have it too. If I'm around a bunch of people who have terrible language, they're cursing all the time. I can quickly find myself in conversations afterwards cursing and swearing. And it's just because I heard it. It's just cause I was around it and I thought, oh my gosh, listen to my mouth right now. But just happens just like language. You can pick up language and phrases from other people. You can certainly pick up their spirit, their energy, their assumptions, and their beliefs about others. So do beware of those who speak negatively of all those other people. I think the second thing that I see perpetuated right now with the negative bandwagon is that this assumption that there are haters everywhere, it's very popular to talk about haters. And in my world of the creator economy or the influencer economy, we are always coaching and sharing with new people coming up that there will be people who disagree with you and there will be people who are very adamant about it and there will be people who just want to hurt your feelings or make accusations just for fun, just to make you feel bad. But I also say that's a tiny, tiny, tiny majority. But you would really assume that the whole world is full of haters right now. It's a negative bandwagon effect that's happening culturally, particularly in North America, where there's this assumption that, that everybody out there is a hater and everybody out there is to get you, cancel you, hurt you or accuse you. And this prevents a lot of people from sharing their voice, prevents a lot of people from starting a new idea, prevents a lot of people from sharing something at work, prevents a lot of people from really living their most authentic and best life because they're so scared to be judged by all those supposed haters. But I have to tell you, they're pretty few and far between. I know that sounds like this crazy assertion of mine, given the culture, but in truth is a fact and it's been a fact that's been measured with data year over year, time over time. Again, there's these studies that come out that say, look at the, here's the number of extreme reviews on Amazon books as an example. And it's so tiny compared to most reviews which are fairly polite, kind, supportive, if anything, just, you know, what they would call mid stars. Not low numbers, not particularly high numbers, sort of average. Same thing for most restaurant reviews, hotel reviews, reviews for websites, reviews for companies, reviews for businesses all over the globe. The data's fairly similar, that most people don't post negative or hateful reviews. Same thing on social media. There's assumption that everybody is a hater on social media. And the truth is very, very rarely does something ignite a firestorm of haters. Most often what happens is you get 10 nice comments and you get one person who says something negative that is probably more perceived as largely negative about the person than it is just about the post. And all of a sudden egos are hurt. And we assume that that one person saying something not nice stands in for all the other hundreds of people saying something nice. People make that mistake very often thinking the world is full of haters. So they never inch forward, they don't want to stick their neck out because all those bad people will do something terrible and cancel them and say something horrible. And the truth is, I'm sure you've heard a lot in these growth day conversations. You've heard a lot of coaches talk about how to deal with judgment more productively, more consciously, from a place of way less ego and a place of more of learning where or even allowance of the fact that sometimes people are in a bad mood, and they're in a bad place in their lives, and their way of acting out right now is seeking attention for their own hurt. Not a real depiction of feedback for you. So please understand that if you are encountering haters, it might be a short season of life that you're going through, that it might be that one post, it might be something you mistakenly said. But if you keep showing up, if you keep putting yourself out there, if you keep serving others with pure heart and intention, trust me, over a period of time, the number of supporters will always, always, always outweigh the number of haters. The number of haters is always smaller than you think. Finally, there's this negative bandwagon effect that the world is going to hell. You know, the world is in a terrible place, and, you know, there's just everything is awful and all these awful things are happening and the world's just going hell. I really hope that you can see beyond that false narrative, because all the data does also support that mostly the world, especially in the last 50 to 100 years, has dramatically improved. Even as I say that right now, knowing the craziness of the last two years, we still have a worldwide positive trend. What do I mean by that? Well, crime rates worldwide, especially severe crime, is down worldwide, and it's been on a downward trend for decades. Poverty worldwide has been on a downward trend for decades. Child labor, down for decades. Think about this. Infant mortality, down for decades. Homicide, down for decades. Violent crimes, down for decades. The cost of food, down for decades. We often think, well, no, there's inflation or no, Brennan, you don't understand my corner of the world or this town or this little place. And. And we think that that is the world, but it's not. In fact, the world has dramatically grown in almost every positive indicator imaginable, from access to education, which is up worldwide for decades. Literacy, up worldwide for decades. You have this incredibly positive trend and growth, and we just don't see it if we're not looking for it, because what is usually amplified on social media is the negative stuff because of our negativity bias and because we often find ourselves in the modern world connecting over anger, connecting over complaining. We get empathy and, oh, yeah, agreement when we share our upset, our vulnerabilities or our complaints about the world. But what I'd encourage you to do is get around positive people, positive people who can acknowledge things. Yes, can we all do better? Is our dramatic improvement still possible with crime and poverty and labor and mortality and education, literacy, access to healthcare, Is there so much we can do to improve? Absolutely. But have we come far away? Absolutely. Let's focus on continuing the progress versus continuing complaint about the old problems. I think it's about being solution oriented folks and being around people who really want to make the world better and so they talk about it by recognizing and appreciating what is good and offering ideas and solutions to make things better without the hook of telling everyone else the world is going to hell. I know it's easy to be really negative and discouraged out there right now, especially after the last couple years, but I do share with you that it's important to adjust your mind, to just recalibrate, be like, okay, let me at least center myself on what I appreciate of my life. Let me center myself on the blessings in my life, in my home, in my community, in my town, in this state, in this world, or in this country, in this moment in time. Whatever it takes for you to at least acknowledge those things. Even if you feel like, hey, listen, in your house right now you're having a terrible time or in your job right now you're really frustrated or upset or if things aren't going great in your business or in your locale. Got it. That happens. If that happens. I'm not saying don't believe that negative things don't happen. I'm saying got happens. Now what can I focus on to bring a moment of blessing and gratitude here so at least I can approach this thing from a solution oriented mindset in keeping perspective with things are with the truth that things are better. So at least I can have hope and readiness to change things and to catch that momentum of progress and to build that momentum of progress. I know it can sound, you know, know some level of preachiness to say, oh well, you know, things are good out there and well, I know when it's at home and it doesn't feel good and things are not going good, or your health is bad, or you get that bad, or negative news, or other people around you or just man, they're difficult to deal with right now and the energy's not good. I remind you of your own personal power. I do remind you that you get to choose your attitude. You do get to choose your energy each day. I've been in incredibly negative circumstances in my life and have coached millions of people in negative circumstances that are beyond belief, who still found a way, still found a way in all that darkness to see the light, to bring the joy, to adjust their attitude or to at least carry on with hope and Faith and positivity and optimism, knowing that things might not be great now, but they can change, that you can change things, that you can improve things, that you're capable, that you're worthy, that the future does hold good things for you and you are stronger than you think. If you believe that, then you, you know, just like I do, that every day is a great day to grow. Happy Monday, striver. I hope this morning you woke up with a fresh mind, a readiness, and a willingness to enter this week open, excited, optimistic, confident. I hope you told yourself a story about what is possible for you and your life and your family this week. I hope you told yourself good and empowering stories about yourself and this week. Because isn't that what we do every single morning? You know, so many people talk about a morning routine, but they often forget that so much of what's happening as a routine in our mind is the stories we tell ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves about why we have what we have or don't, why we're experiencing the kind of life that we're experiencing now, who caused it, why we are the way we are, what's possible for us. We tell ourselves all these stories that are really make believe. You know, so many of our own obstacles or our own limitations are just narratives in our mind. A narrative that says, I can or I can't. I'm worthy or unworthy. I give myself permission or I don't. Other people will understand or they never will. I'm good, I'm bad, I'm capable, I'm not. We tell ourselves so many stories, and those stories often dictate the direction of our lives. I've come to find after being a coach for so long, you can kind of simplify a lot of things going on in our head. Our thoughts are either helpful or they're hurtful. And as we weave those thoughts into narratives and stories and identities, we either find ourselves empowered, pulled into the future, excited about our day, ready to crush it on Monday, or it's drudgery, it's hurtful. We punish ourselves by not being perfect, as if punishing ourselves have ever made anyone better. We suddenly decide that, oh, well, you know what? She can have that, but I can't. And we make a whole story up and a whole narrative and a whole chapter and a whole book about why she is the way she is, and we can't have it and we can't do it, and. And then we start comparing ourselves and judging ourselves and we spin ourselves into these stories that can be terribly disempowering so what story did you tell yourself this morning? What did you decide this morning? Because by the time you've listened to this, you've either started to win the day to win this week, or you've already started to sabotage. It's like Mel Robbins talks about. One of the things she talks about is what we say to ourselves in the mirror, how we judge ourselves, the awful things we say to ourselves that we wouldn't say to another person. And I know that's not true for everybody listening right now, but there's those down days where you question yourself and maybe you don't think it's so terrible, but if it's day after day after day after day of questioning and judging yourself, what you're doing is putting a big old brake pad on your life. It's not that we need to make believe stories that we're perfect. We don't have to make believe stories that every part of our Life is a 10 out of 10. We don't have to make believe that everything is always all right. Sometimes the true story is we're struggling, we're tired, we're hurt, were confused. Those are okay stories, too. The difference is some people live in that chapter forever and other people learn to turn the page by realizing they get to scribe that next page, they get to start that new chapter, that they're the ones in their life over a long period of time, often holding that pen, getting to be that writer of your own destiny. So what story are you going to tell this week? By the end of this Friday, what story will your life have told? I think about that a lot because I've been with a lot of people and as they've contemplated the meaning of their life, specifically towards the end of their lives, and there's always a story, and they love to tell them and they love to describe what their life was like. And honestly, you can tell how they usually lived it by the way they describe it towards the end, if it's full of regret, anger or loneliness. Often the stories they told themselves on the Mondays were disempowering, were hurtful for their progress. We're divisive with other people. Those are the worst stories, the ones where we say, I'm not like them, they're not like me, we're so different. I can never have the success they had and they don't deserve any. Some of those are, well, I've been treated this way. So I'm unlovable, I'm unworthy, I'm not good enough and what do we do? We limit our actions that week because, well, you tell your story that way in so many ways, you end up being sour about the day, about the week, about your opportunities. You tend to suffer in silence the worse your stories are about yourself and about your potentials in life. But I've also met people towards the end. It's like they're telling the most entertaining, adventurous, heroic love story you ever heard. And those people, as you dig down, they often love to share how they thought about life. And it was helpful, empowering. They thought of all the things that they were blessed with in life on a daily basis. They thought about the things they appreciated. They thought about the luck that they had along the way. Oh, if this hadn't happened, then I would have never met her or him. And then this wouldn't have happened. And then that couldn't happen. And if I hadn't shown up and made that one decision, this wouldn't have happened. And they're telling the tale as if it's the greatest narrative, not from a place of ego or narcissism, but rather just joy and surprise and gratitude about it. They're amazed by their own life story. No matter what, whether you think it's a big story or not, they can't believe it. They're just like, wow, this is amazing that I got to live this life. They tell themselves empowering stories about why doors open for them, why they met a person at just the right time. They talk about their gifts and their blessings. They tell themselves stories about all the opportunities they had. While others say, I have no opportunities, these folks tell themselves the stories. And often they make the opportunity manifest. It's so funny. It's all make believe, isn't it? So much of it is just make believe. And when I think about that, I find it an empowering idea. We're all making up stories about who we are. Why not make up good ones in our own mind? Tell ourselves a story that's empowering. See ourselves as not some conquering hero. That's not true. But no, be honest with where we're at, but also describe for ourselves a future that's beautiful, loving, healthy, adventurous, abundant. Think about that for a minute. This is a Monday. What story did you tell yourself about this Monday? About this week. I'm that annoying person that I think of each Monday as this fresh slate, this bold new opportunity. I'm at a frontier of a week. I just think, oh, my gosh, God, please grant me the ability to focus this week, to serve with excellence this week to be a force of love. This week, I ask for presence and positivity. And I think that this week is just one more week on the grand story of being able to make an impact in this world. Some weeks, not much happens. Other weeks, it feels monumental. But either way, fresh eyes for you, fresh paint, new chapter. You get to tell yourself the story of what's going to happen this week, and then you get to manifest it and live into it, and I think that's incredibly empowering.
