← Progress Mode with Brendon Burchard
Progress Mode with Brendon Burchard
How to Destroy Apathy and Reignite Your Drive
00:26:05
In this episode of The Motivation with Brendon Burchard Podcast, Brendon reveals powerful, practical strategies to reignite your inner drive and rebuild momentum when life feels flat.
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We have to build the necessity of why we need to do things. We need to remind ourselves of those whys, those goals, those purposes, that mission, who we are there to serve, why we need to be on our A game for somebody today. I each day remind myself, someone needs me on my A game today. Who is it? Raising psychological necessity. Now, the truth is, any of us could just decide probably to sit around all week. Our kids might not like it, people at work might not like it. You know, our psyche might not like it, our spouses might not like it. But the truth is, lots of people do make that choice. They approach life very apathetically. And there's no judgment in that, in the sense that everyone struggles. And there's been times. Me, you. The people we love and care for chose on a given day or a given week or a month or a year to take a step back to cool our jets, to relax, to disengage, to recover, to not be as driven or as involved. Sometimes that was forced upon us. When we got sick, we didn't feel good. Things kind of fell apart. And when those things happen, listen, we have to give ourselves empathy and give that compassion to others as well, knowing that that does happen. But what's beautiful is at some point we all get to choose to raise our psychological necessity to get back in the game. What do I mean by that? Well, if you read high performance habits, you know that the research showed that what we call the third habit in high performance habits is raising psychological necessity in such a way that each day you remind yourself of what's most important. You visualize it, you think about it. You allow the feelings to come into your mind about why you must succeed today, why you must get yourself off the couch today, why you must get yourself back into the fight, whether that fight is in your inbox or that fight is trying to knock off those to do list. That goal achievement attitude that comes back into our lives. We say, no, no, no, I'm not just gonna sit around. I'm not gonna stay disengaged. I wanna be in flow. I wanna challenge myself. I wanna summon my courage and my creative energies to do something with myself, to contribute something today. And here are the reasons that it's important for me to do that. And it's not a preference, it is a must that I will show up this day and move forward. That's what we mean by raising psychological necessity. We make it necessary for ourselves to do well, make it necessary for ourselves to excel, to serve, to give, to love. Even when it's inconvenient and difficult. Now, I know whenever I bring up these topics or some people say, oh, my gosh, here's Brennan pushing us. This must be burnout culture, Mr. Burchard. I'm like, no, read the book. The research shows that you can achieve long term success without the burnout, without wrecking relationships or your health. But you have to practice these habits. And one of the core ones is revving up your mind about why you need to do things in a healthy way. So I begin my Mondays often doing two very simple things to help me achieve psychological necessity. First, I go to my journal here in growth day and I smash that button that says morning mindset. And that morning mindset just helps me get, well, as it's intended, get my mind in the game for this week. It just helps me calibrate my mind to a positive, optimistic, focused, service driven mindset. It's so critical for me to do that. Then I go into my plan section, and in my plan section, I've often captured what is my to do list or my priorities or my goals for this day, this week, and this month and so on. Today I'll go create a plan for the projects I'm working on. I'll set the deadlines or the reminders that I need for the day. I'll use the plan for both again, the day, week and month, just to get my head in the game. And then whenever I've written down those projects or those priorities or any of those goals, what do I do? I literally sit back a little bit in my chair, I'll look at them, and I'll close my eyes for a minute and visualizing the effort to achieve those big goals. So if one of those goals is write a book, I'll literally close my eyes for a moment and visualize myself researching or writing, visualize myself editing long nights on the paperwork, writing on the manuscript, visualizing the book coming out, opening it for the first time. Open that box of books the publisher sends you where you get it for the very first time. Visualize putting that book in an envelope, sending it to my family and friends and thanking them for their support. Visualize. There it is on the New York Times bestseller list. Visualize. There it is number one on New York Times. There it is out in the world. I'll just think about it. There I am in the airport, walking by, and there's my book right there. Okay. Isn't that so much better than just going, you know, writing on a post it write book today. It's okay, if you write that as a goal, of course. But when you take a moment to visualize, to think about it, to see the hard nights, the effort, the rewards, when your mind is there, what you are doing is summoning the motivation, because often it's not there. There's plenty of days I don't feel motivated. And that is why that chapter in High Performance Habits is so critical. And people write to me all the time about that chapter on Raising Psychological Necessity. We just say raise necessity for short. We have to build the necessity of why we need to do things. We need to remind ourselves of those whys, those goals, those purposes, that mission, who we are there to serve, why we need to be on our A game for Somebody today. I each day remind myself, someone needs me on my A game today. Who is it? Maybe my family needs me to show up. Maybe my team needs me to show up. Maybe this person who's been waiting on a project for me, my publisher, this person or that person. I just think of all the people who need me to do my best today. Not from a place of, oh my gosh, it will overwhelm me, but from a place of what a blessing it is to serve today. Think about that. We have the opportunity to be mindful and present this week. We have the opportunity to be excellent this week. We have the opportunity to be role models this week. Each of us has to find a different way to connect to that. And all I can do is warn you that not doing that on a consistent basis is how you start living an unintentional life, a reactive life. Because if you're not thinking of all the things that you want to do and why you want to do them, and how it will feel as you go through that process and also achieve it, and you don't keep recalibrating your focus towards those things, the world will strip away your focus. The world will pull you into its own distractions, other people's agendas. And then one day you think, why am I not getting the momentum I want? And then you realize, gosh, I haven't even looked at my goals for five days, 10 days, 30 days, six months a year. I've worked with people. They haven't written out their goals, thought about them, or visualized them in a decade or more. And sometimes that magic of motivation and necessity comes back into our lives when we just capture it on a consistent basis again, when we just visualize it again, when we take the time to think through it. Today, I know that entering this week, there's going to be challenges. There always are. And that's why at the beginning, right here today, I'm talking to you like this. I have to get myself fired up, too. We have to do the things that get ourselves fired up in our heart. Yes, it might naturally be there for some people. Maybe they are more passionate or more motivated, more focused than you. Who knows? But what I've learned coaching high performers, working with you guys year over year over year, coming up in my 21st year of doing all of this, 21 years, is the truth is people have to motivate themselves, even if they're naturally inclined. Sustaining that over the long term is hard. We learned that in psychology that to maintain a sense of flow where you are alive and fully engaged and concentrated on something that matters to you, that feeling is akin to a special kind of happiness, a special kind of satisfaction that few people will ever know if they didn't engage in things they really wanted to do and push themselves to do it, set up challenges for themselves, motivated themselves to go in it, even if it didn't feel like motivation. Because sometimes motivation comes after the effort, after the momentum. And so we must begin the question today. How are you going to motivate yourself this week? How are you going to take a few steps? Whatever you're going to do, make it a plan, do it often. The world really needs us on our A games right now. I never enter the week feeling like, oh, I'm going to go conquer the whole world. Instead, I am conscious enough to look around and say, the world's in need. Our kids need us to show up strong, to be loving and kind, to care for the problems of this world. The world is in this place where often, I know it feels dark sometimes if you buy into all the things, it can feel lonely and feel like everybody's against you, feel like there's all these haters out there. But the truth is, I've had the blessing of serving in this field now, these two decades. And what I know is there's a lot of good people out there working for good things today. Be one of them. I know there's a lot of people out there who showed up today with a lot stacked against them. They still wrote in their journal. They still captured their goals. I know there's some people doing things they don't want to have to do, but they got to do it to bring in the dollars, to pay the rent, to move things forward. But you know what? I also know they still allow themselves those few minutes to lay in bed and dream of something, Remind themselves of serving their family, taking care of the next generation, of seeing and feeling and achieving that dream. Even though today's to dos are just difficulties and things we got to get done. What I know is there's people out there who get it, who choose to shape their own attitude in such a way that they can show up as their best. No one is telling them they have to. There's something inside, it's a calling or a mission or a blessing that just says, I want to show up as my best. I want to be excellent today. I want to get better. I want to feel better. I want to help people. And they listen to those whispers. They listen to those ideas. They realize that each day as they raise necessity, they revisit the things that are important to them. They give that time, energy and focus. Every morning they wake up, they do it again. Write down the goals, think about why they want them. Think about the hardships they'll endure. Think about the outcomes and the goodness that comes from it. They show up again and again and again and again. Not because they are more special than anybody else, but because like we say here in growth day, every day is a great day to grow. Because I really believe that what unites everybody here is this simple thing called the decision that at some point in our lives, either through struggle or dreaming and ambition or by watching other people, by hoping to improve, there is a decision that happens that says, I'm committed to getting better. I'm committed to trying new ways of thinking, new ways of behaving. I'm committing to doubling down on my strengths and improving the things that are really holding me me back. I'm committed to self improvement. Our tagline here is to make self improvement a way of life. Because every day is a great day to grow. So if every day we think about our mindset, if every day we think about our behaviors, if every day we think about how we treat other people and move our lives forward, well, the heck we got a shot at living extraordinary life, don't we? And that decision to change, that decision to improve, that decision to work on ourselves is not as frequent as one would hope in our society. Because listen, isn't it true we all struggle? Don't you know, people who have struggled financially or with their health, they struggle in their relationships. You know, people in your own family, your friendship circle and at work right now who are really struggling in their lives. But not everybody raises their hand, mix the decision to improve because, you know, it's much easier to do Four other things. You know, way easier not to choose the path of improvement. It's much easier to blame, it's much easier to quit, way easier to complain and very easy to just placate. Those are the things that people often do when they're struggling or they're fearful, when they've been held back for a while, when they're upset, when they know they should change but they still don't make the decision to truly commit to doing it. You know, first they blame other people. Well, I'm like this because my spouse, I'm unhappy because of this person at work. You know, I think this way and it's just the way I am because my parents or the people who raised me, they were like that. And then they stay stuck in the same pattern. Other people just go, well you know what, it's too hard right now. Why work on getting better? It's only going to be more of a struggle to improve. So I'll just quit, I'll bow out, I'll stay on the sidelines. Why keep going towards my dreams when it just keeps seemingly being harder? Why keep chasing after that big goal when I don't have the knowledge or the skill? I haven't been trained, I don't know what to do. Other people are better. Why should I keep going? Other people don't make the decision because it's just easier to complain. Well, you know what? I guess that's just how it is. The world sucks. There's a whole lot of that going on right now, isn't there? Forgive me for laughing a little bit and bringing some positivity to this, but a whole lot of people right now have been stuck in this ferocious multi year cycle of complaining and complaining and complaining, but not improving themselves. Not doing the hard work, not learning how they think, not developing self awareness, not developing greater self mastery or personal power or courage or productivity, whatever it takes to move their lives forward. And a lot of people instead of making the decision, just choose to placate. It's just easier to stay as I am and just keep going along to get along. I guess my partner wants this or my manager wants that and I guess I'll just stay the same because that's who they think I am. And you know, that's what I get paid for. So I guess that's just what I'm just going to stay here. And tragically, I'm not saying any of this to be facetious or to be hurtful. Tragically, the truth is a lot of people choose that over Seeking self improvement. They don't go read the books of self improvement or self help or psychology or philosophy or neuroscience or health or whatever the area is that they need to read up on. They don't, you know, log into an app like this or follow any podcasters or try to learn more, even if just through free mediums. They just don't. And then one day, usually two things happen. Another pain point, another disappointment, another day of discouragement, more challenges on their shoulder, and they finally find one of Jim Rohn's old favorite quotes that says, don't wish the world were better, wish you were better, don't wish it was easier, wish you were stronger, and get to work at it. I think it's so important to recognize that we can say this without being judgmental and putting people down, because I can raise my hand right now. Have there been times, situations, difficulties, where I blamed other people? Yep. Where I've quit? You betcha. Complained, huh? Placated. Yep. So this is not about judgment. There's nothing you're ever going to encounter in growth day that is about, you know, just harsh judgment. It's an acknowledgment to the behaviors that we all have. It's an acknowledgement to human nature, to our own struggles, to the realities of being human. We all can struggle and get stuck. But what I want to acknowledge you for and remind you of is that decision you made. You know, in my research and work, we call it psychological necessity. That at some point it becomes psychologically necessary for a person to change. Sometimes that's just. It's necessary because it's on their mind so much. They visualize it so much, it just compels them to action. Sometimes it's because they have so much pain in their lives that there's a boundary cross, a threshold broken, a demarcation line never to go back upon. Sometimes it's an aspiration or a role model or more intelligence learned by modeling other people learning from somebody else. Sometimes it's just a calling, a blessing, an insight, a moment of inspiration. But suddenly it becomes necessary to change. No longer a hopeful idea, but a required choice it in our psychology. And then we just gotta go about changing. How do we do that? Well, you're doing it right now. You start listening to more personal development. You start engaging with more content that is empowering. And most importantly, you start following the mindsets, the habits, the tools, the routines of other successful people. You start learning about what works. There's so much science around every area that you're trying to Prove your life in. And here's what we know in the psychology of personal change. We know that by journaling you dramatically improve your intention, your ability to achieve your goals, your ability to decrease stress, your ability to increase long term life satisfaction, your ability to to be more self aware, more resilient, more courageous, more willing to improve relationships. Why? Because by journaling you think through your thoughts. And once you learn to become self awareness and to develop enough self awareness to think through your thoughts, you start realizing where the ones are that hold you back. Your brain loves pattern recognition. It starts saying hey, seems like every time I'm journaling about my husband lately. I'm pretty upset here. What's going on there? What am I thinking? What's happening in the relationships? You start journaling about what can improve. Start thinking about life in a very different way. It's almost like now you hold the pen to your life. You are no longer just a character in the script, you are writing the script. That's the power of journaling. Then you plan. I know it sounds so simplistic, but by going to the plan section, writing out your goals, setting reminders, writing out to dos or subtasks with deadlines, guess what? You're more likely to achieve them. People who write down goals not only are more successful, earn more and report being happier over a period of time, but something magical happens. They also report not just the benefits being more productive, not just the benefits of becoming more healthy. People actually who write out their goals, set deadlines and work judiciously towards them, become more conscientious, which is one of the like most studied psychological traits of all time that leads to almost every other positive outcome in our lives. Your decision to improve, when did it happen? What was the thing? What was the catalyst? What was the spark for me? As many of you know, it was a car accident I had at the young age of 19 years old. And the truth is the real catalyst was I'd been in a relationship that ended and I got my heart broken. I didn't know how to cope with it. I didn't have the emotional tools, I didn't have any of that knowledge of mindset. I didn't have that attitude. I didn't have the ability to really set intentions and goals and architect the identity and the future that I wanted. I wasn't exposed enough personal development to know how to do that. And that catalyst at 19 changed my life forever. I'm still working on myself today. It doesn't stop. Self improvement becomes a way of life. Always getting better. But I can tell you, as you always get better, your health improves, your relationships improve, your finances improve, your ability to serve others and influence others improves, your sense of life itself becomes deeper and more meaningful, your relationships more alive, more connected, your health more vibrant, your moments of presence and joy throughout the day increasing. Those things don't happen if you don't work on yourself. Those might happen once in a while at a random birthday party, or once in a while on a night out with friends, but they're not a consistent experience. If self improvement is not a way of life, then the consistent experience is usually blame, quitting, complaining, placating, going through the motions. No. No. We're here to create a vibrant life that's alive and connected and meaningful and growing. And you did that today. So I honor that decision. Go capture what that decision is. What was that moment, that catalyst that you wanted to change your life? And if it's a day, great. Why? What do you want to shift? What do you want to change? What do you look forward to building? Because this moment, this day, it's a great day to capture in your journal. Because every day is a great day to grow.