B (7:22)

Now, please know I'm not saying no to everything.

A (7:25)

I'm saying any requests that come in.

B (7:28)

That are outside of your focus list.

A (7:31)

Because remember, I already taught you that. Go in your plan, have your focus list, have those people or projects or priorities, your to do list, your checklist, whatever it is, have your goals written down, whatever you want to call it. That idea of knowing what you're supposed to focus on, anything else that comes in outside of that, just immediately teach yourself to say no. And then make yourself justify why the answer might be yes.

B (7:57)

But see, I'm one of those people.

A (7:58)

Who believes when, especially when you're young, a lot of the answers are yes because you're seeking out new experiences. You don't yet know what you want. So you're trying, you're tasting the world, you're experimenting, you're trying to see things. And when you're, you know, when you're first beginning as an entrepreneur, every customer, every potential client comes at you, you're like, yes, please, I'll take some money. You know, when you're first in your first career, you want to add so much value to everybody around you.

B (8:28)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

A (8:30)

But then one day, your plate is full. You got plenty of projects, some of them you're even falling behind on.

B (8:38)

That same mentality says yes, yes, yes to please everybody.

A (8:41)

Not setting boundaries, not being clear about priorities. It starts to eat you alive. And that's why so many people burn out in that year, 3, 4, 5 or 6 of success, because they can pull it off for a couple years, but then the burnout gets real because their bandwidth gets less. So it's important once you start, you know, really touching the helm of how much you can actually take on your plate each day. That's what I mean by saying no first. You know, when I just have so much on my plate already and I've already decided that that's what's on my plate, you know, anything else that comes in, it's just a no. Even if it's a great opportunity, it's no. And then I have to be able to justify it. I have to be able to say, well, you know, it's a no. But based on these conditions or this rationale, I guess it could be a yes. And the good reason is by saying no first, as the dominant, hey, that's just the thing that I do once I do have a focus list. By saying no and forcing yourself to rationalize why you would have to do a yes, doing that over and over and over again starts helping you create a mental boundary for what you will take on. And it helps you. The more you have to justify a yes, the more you learn your real clear values, priorities, decision making processes that support you versus wipe you out. I hope some of these ideas helped you. Today. So many people say, yeah, I want to improve my life, but where are they? Well, you're here. You're actually somebody who's doing the work. You're actually somebody who's in motion, who's actually striving and seeking to achieve and architect the future you really want. I honor you for honoring that impulse, that part of you that loves to work on yourself to improve yourself. Because you know by improving yourself, you can improve your life and perhaps your family, your community, your team, your organization, the world. That intention to gain greater self awareness and self mastery lands into your social contributions later on. Figuring yourself out helps you serve others at other levels. And so for whatever reason you are here, I thank you on behalf of myself for making yourself do the work, for showing up here and proven that every day is a great day to grow.

B (11:22)

Today I'll be talking about successful mindset. You know, I'd say the key differentiator.

A (11:28)

I've seen with people and still true.

B (11:31)

After all these years of teaching it, is that when unsuccessful people or people who really get stuck or struggle, their thinking pattern tends to be related to these three concerns that make them stop their progress. Where successful people or successful thinking, they consider those three things and they keep going. So this is really a question of do you stop in life or do you keep going and that is a fundamental mindset, isn't it? Well, those components to this are these. Number one, whenever we start something new in our lives, we tend to ask this question or say this thing to ourself of, you know, I don't know how to do that. We do an immediate gauge of capability. We say, oh, well, you know, I want to chase that dream, but I don't know how. And so people who become unsuccessful there, their unsuccessful thinking is, well, I don't know how to do that, so I guess I'll just stop. Psychologists would call that a fixed mindset, a belief that if I'm not capable now, I won't be capable in the future, so why even try? Where the growth mindset would say, oh, okay, well I don't know how. I guess it's upon me to learn how. And you keep going. That's the differentiator again. Do you stop when facing something new, ambitious, exciting, important in your life because of the concern that you don't know how? Or do you say, well of course I don't know how, I haven't done it yet. It's my job to get mentors to do some education, to learn, to try to evolve, to get better and to build that capability. It's a skill development based mindset versus a inadequacy mindset. Does that make sense? So maybe you can journal on that. Is there any dream or idea from this last week or as you're pondering.

A (13:29)

Your future where you just think, ah.

B (13:31)

You know, I don't know how, and that's preventing you from getting going? The second thing we often say to ourselves is, well, I'm not like that, meaning I'm not like them. You know, sure she can do it, but I can't.

A (13:50)

So I stop.

B (13:51)

Sure those people have those privileges, but I don't have that. I'm not from that, so I'll stop. And they use that as rationale about why they can't have what they want. They just say, I'm not attractive like that person, I'm not from that person's background, I haven't had those experiences. And it's a comparison mindset that paralyzes progress. Instead of saying, oh, well, I'm not like them, but I wonder what skills, practices, education, experiences, attempts have they tried? Is there anything that they have shared that maybe I can model? Maybe I can't be like them or look like them or be their personality, but maybe they practice some habits or strategies that I could demonstrate myself, or even better yet, go beyond that and say okay, well, that's all right. I'm not like that. But how can I become the best of who I am? How can I live authentically and still progress in my own way toward the thing I want? Even if I might model somebody else's strategy? It's okay to model people's strategy, but you don't have to become like them. Those who try to be like another person tend to sometimes succeed through modeling, but then become incredibly miserable later on because they've allowed themselves to move away from their authenticity, from what really speaks in their heart. They got away from their own values, their own roles they wanted to play in the world, their own intentions, and started mimicking other people to the point where they lost themselves in the journey. And so even if they moved forward, they don't feel good. And that is that desire to make sure that we maintain authenticity even as we progress.

A (15:52)

And finally, the last idea here today.

B (15:55)

Is that sometimes we stop our progress because we say, I don't have that. I don't have that. We say, well, I can't build a business because I don't have an email list, or I don't have a degree. I can't, you know, I can't succeed because I don't have this particular resource or connection or network. And it's a ownership thing. It's a feeling that we don't have the resources that we need to move forward. But of course, successful people or successful thinking says, okay, I don't have that yet. So my job is to build that or become resourceful or innovative in such a way that I can get it or I don't even need it because I can create something new. It's a creation mindset. It's a resourceful mindset that says, it's all right. I don't have that thing, that fancy office or that fancy computer or that fancy setup. I'll continue anyway. I remember in my career I thought, well, I don't have a fancy know microphone, and I couldn't afford one, so maybe I can't start my podcast. I don't have a quote unquote fancy microphone or, you know, I don't have a fancy video camera, so I can't compete with those YouTubers. So I guess I just won't shoot my video. No, instead I went and got the cheapest dang video I could, the cheapest dang microphone I could.

A (17:23)

And I began and I got better.

B (17:25)

And I succeeded with what I did have. Because it's not about the things. Often it's about the Value in which we deliver. And so these are the big differentiators, aren't they? Some people say, well, I'm not like that and they stop. Or they say, I don't know how and they stop. Or they say, I don't have that thing and they stop. Where people who tend to become successful over a period of time say, you know what, I don't know how to do that. So it's my job to learn. I'm going to take personal responsibility and develop the skill set and the capability. I'm going to make self improvement a way of life and educate myself. I'm going to teach myself how to do this by studying books, listening to podcasts, reading, mentoring, trying, learning. We say, successful people, you, us, we say, well, I'm not like them people. No, no. We say, you know what? I. I'm going to live my best life in the best way I can and if I can model other people's strategies, great. If I can be inspired by others, great. But I want to have my own authentic, genuine life full of a sense of aliveness because I'm in integrous, I'm in integrity and in alignment with my own values, my own beliefs, my own desires, dreams, way of living. We say, I don't need to have everything perfect before I begin. We aren't the people who say, well, I don't have the thing. It's like, no, no, no, okay, well, I don't have it. I'm going to use what I have. I'm going to be resourceful, I'm going to build, I'm going to create. No matter where I'm at right now, here I go. Watch me progress. This is the attitude of successful people. This is the mindset that changes the game. This is why we do personal development. Because listen, we can all have a good week or a bad week, but sometimes the truth is we forget these things and we start getting in a negative self talk. And that negative self talk stops our progress. But we do personal development because it always rights our mind. It rights us. It gets us back into that inspiration, back in that mode, back in that reality that every day is a great day to grow.