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Starting a dream well is starting from the learning mindset, knowing that it's not going to be perfect, knowing that you're going to test and iterate and innovate. And it's going to take so many iterations and so many, you know, long days and nights before you get that momentum or that takeoff. And it's going to take a lot of personal resiliency in the face of judgment, by other people thinking that you're crazy for doing what you're doing, and by the reality that it's easy, especially today in social media, to compare your start to somebody else's success or excellence or maturity. And we have to realize, oh, as we start this dream, I'll give myself time and patience. I'll give myself grace. I'll allow myself to learn. I'll take it easy on myself. When other people judge me for lack of early momentum, I won't judge myself because I know I'm picking up that momentum and the intention to keep going. Today's topic is starting well. I always believe that the first couple steps you take towards anything sets a pace, it sets a momentum, it sets an expectation, it allows you to begin a journey well in a good place. And whether that's how you start your day or a project or a relationship or any movement towards your dreams start well, you know, I'm always asked about how I start my day as an example, and people think, gosh, you're pretty disciplined about that. I go, yeah, because, you know, it doesn't take a lot of trial and error for you to realize that having a consistent, solid, good, positive morning routine really helps you deal with a lot of the other stuff that comes up over the day. And when I say it doesn't take a lot, try 10 days with a great morning routine, and then try a month without any. And you can notice the misery creeping in, the fatigue creeping in, the stress and overwhelm creeping in. And some people think it's subtle, but I've always been someone who tracks my months pretty closely. And it's just obvious when I'm not on my A game, starting the day off, well, everyone's got their own thing. Some of you all know I do my 20, 20, 20, which is 20 minutes of movement and stretching in the morning, followed by 20 minutes of reading, followed by 20 minutes of basically planning the day or the week. And while that sounds like exorbitant to some people, like, wow, you have 60 minutes. You can do that every morning. How can you know I can't do that? I got Five kids and a business, or I got this or that obligation, or I like to do my morning routine in a different way with my exercise. So whatever your thing is, you don't have to have mine, you need yours. And if that means you only get 15 minutes to do it and you got 15 minutes to do it, if it means you've got to, you know, find the things that really make you feel great, then do it. I remember the first time I ever announced my morning routine on social media. A guy wrote in and he was just so mean and he said, well, you know, I'm not like you, I'm an artist and I, I have to play my guitar in the morning for an hour. And you make it sound like if I'm not reading or I'm not working out, I'm bad. I'm like, no, whatever your thing is your thing. I think there is a very strong argument to looking at what science would suggest to us is part of a healthy routine. And certainly movement is included in that. But hey, you know what, some people play the guitar in pretty amazing ways. So I'm not worried about you having to get your morning routine of exercise in though a lot of people have found that to be helpful dealing with stress later on. My suggestion is what's your thing? And maybe today you'll go to your journal and just capture an idea of what has been some of the best, best morning routines you've ever had. And then capture, most importantly, which ones were you most consistent about and why? See, I've tried lots of different types of morning routines, but I didn't stick to them. And so for me, I found out I like to stretch and move in the morning. That's not my quote unquote workout for the day. It's just getting up and moving around, breathing. It might be sometimes taking a walk around the house, around the block. It might be doing a few Vinyasa flows, some simple mobility work. It might be jumping jacks, push ups and sit ups. It could be anything. But I'm going to move around a little bit. And then reading for me is always been something that's so vital and important because I want to consume things that make my perspective about history and the world and inspiring people. My frame of reference for the day, not social media. And then my last thing is just planning the day. And people say, you really spend 20 minutes planning each day. Aren't you already scheduled in advance? I go, yeah, I'm almost always scheduled in advance. But that 20 minutes I'm thinking and dreaming Further out, or I'm looking at the calendar and thinking, how do I deliver that meeting or do that thing with excellence? Or I might be rearranging something and capturing my ideas and goals related to a specific task for that day. But for me, that tends to work. What works for you? Let's also talk about how you begin projects, how you begin relationship conflicts, how do you begin dreams with projects? The first and foremost, and the simplest and elegant thing you can ever do is as you begin a new project, to take a step back and ask, what are the outcomes I'm after with this project? What are my intentions in this project, and what rules could I set up for myself to make sure I complete this project and enjoy the process? So any project, some people say, brett, I want to write a book. Okay, great. What's the outcome you're after with writing that book? What are your intentions going in for the book? How can you make sure you're consistent and enjoy that process of writing the book? Another area I like to start well is relationships and relationship conflicts, and they found in research, is if you can make sure that in any argument you start it well, with respect, with tender or open tonality, with giving the other person time to talk. You know, like taking turns with a intention that says, I actually want to build this relationship, not I'm going to throw it away because I'm mad at this person. That makes a big difference how? Just like even on the flip side, your first few dates with somebody, do those first few dates well. By being kind, being clear about intentions in the relationship, about, or at least what you want in your future. Those things all help start well, last idea today is just on your dreams. I think most people moving towards any given major ambition or goal or dream often fail to start well because they in fact do start. And they start in a flurry of activity, trying everything, consuming everything, learning, seeking mentors. And yet inevitably they don't maintain that because they also started with the idea that they had to be perfect. They also started with the idea that they would be disappointed if they didn't get quick momentum. They also started the idea that they had to compare themselves with others. And so often they start well, but they also started well with wrong thinking. The idea that it had to be perfect, they had to get instant momentum. And the other people they had to measure up to or get approval from. And I always go, no. Starting a dream well is starting from the learning mindset, knowing that, that it's not going to be perfect, knowing that you're going to test and iterate and innovate. And it's going to take so many iterations and so many long days and nights before you get that momentum or that take off. And it's going to take a lot of personal resiliency in the face of judgment by other people thinking that you're crazy for doing what you're doing, and by the reality that it's easy, especially today in social media, to compare your start to somebody else's success or excellence or maturity. And we have to realize, oh, as we start this dream, I'll give myself time and patience. I'll give myself grace. I'll allow myself to learn. I'll take it easy on myself when other people judge me for lack of early momentum. I won't judge myself because I know I'm picking up that momentum and the intention to keep going. We can start anything. Well, maybe you can reflect today in your journal. Is there any relationship or project in your past that you did start well, and by getting the beginning right, you set the foundations for a good future? If so, what was that? Can you remember that time and reflect back? Maybe capture some ideas or feelings about gratitude from that time that you did that and maybe take that energy or that insight into something else you're going to start? And how could you start that? Well, what could be the first, you know, ideas or strategies for the first 30 days of starting that or the first interactions of starting that so that you have an increased chance of success and fulfillment in whatever it is you're doing next? Every Monday I begin with sort of a repetition of this mantra. Thank you God for this opportunity to serve this week. Grant me the strength to focus this week, to be mindful and present, to serve with excellence, to be a force of love. I repeat that every single Monday because I have to. I'll forget it. I'll get derailed. I'll enter the day in a bad place driven by, you know, consumption of social media versus an intentional place driven by service. And this will help us talk through this topic of commitment today. Because to have a commitment for success and well being, commitment for fulfillment and meaning and purpose, commitment for your dreams, commitment for your relationships, commitment for generating the best life that you can, a life that's alive and connected and purposeful and progressing well. Commitment doesn't just happen to us. It's something that we have to generate and summon, just like a positive mindset. So my first point today about commitment will be this. The necessity of daily remotivation. See, when we first got committed to Any idea, purpose, cause or dream? There was an initial spark of motivation. If you read my book, the Motivation Manifesto, you know that the spark of motivation is always ambition, right? We want something new, we want something different, we want something better, we want something deeper. And that desire is an ambition, isn't it? Some people say, no, no, it's my purpose. Well, purpose is itself an ambition. So we have an initial spark that is an ambition to desire something. But a lot of people feel that motivation but don't stay committed. And that's why we have to have a daily remotivation or recommitment practice. So for me, it's as simple as making sure I go to the plan section in my Growth Day app and looking at my plan, looking at my goals that I've already probably written down, looking at those goals, thinking about them, visualizing them, feeling them, sensing them, desiring them, making a plan of action for them every day, even if that goal's been on there a long time. Most people feel tremendous motivation on January 1st. You know that New Year's spark of ambition, and they always wonder why it goes away later in the year. Well, the reason is, is because they stopped looking at the goals, stopped dreaming, thinking about it, bringing to mind that positive, compelling, exciting, fulfilling future. And we get caught back into the day to day. I know you're a striver, I know you're an achiever. I know you're a high performer. If you're here, you're somebody who's uncommonly dedicated to your personal development. You don't need to be told to journal about your mindset, but you do. And so do I. Because that's what commitment's about. That's what having a practice is about. I think of the greatest yoga instructors in the world, and I'm blessed to know many of them. Well, guess what? They approach yoga as a practice. Spiritual practice, physical practice, mental practice. It's a practice. You're always getting better at it, but you're always doing it. You have your ups and your downs, but it's part of your life. We have to have that same thing with commitment. Whatever we are committed to, we have to revisit it every day. I think the best way to do that is to have a morning mindset routine. Again, I just use the Growth Day app, hit the journal section, hit that morning mindset button, and people ask, do you still. You really do fill that out. I'm like, I filled that out every day since 2017. I used to have that in a physical form. Some of you Guys know I have the High Performance Planner, which you can buy on Amazon, but that's what makes up those questions here in the Growth Day app. Those morning mindset questions come from the High Performance Planner. And every day since 2017, I fill those out and people must go, but it's boring. Or my questions, you know, my answers don't change. Or this. I'm like, yes. But even just thinking about them, even just being just slightly intentional each day can really change your day. You want to be committed to achieving your dreams. You need a daily remotivation or daily recommitment practice. Look at those things that draw ambition or motivation or enthusiasm. I mean, look at them. Write them down, think about them, get fired up about them. Visualize them. Commit to them again. One time met a couple that had been married for 62 years and I asked what was the secret? And she, the wife had replied that they are constantly recommitting to one another. And I said, what does that mean? She goes, well, it's in small ways, you know, it's, it's helping your partner out when you really don't want to. That's a demonstration of recommitment. I said, wow, that's powerful. What have you committed yourself to? Health, wealth, friendship, parenthood, success. What is it? What could you do today to connect to that commitment again? Second idea I'd love to talk about is if you're going to be committed to something, you really have to practice what psychologists would call attentional control. Attentional control, it's really an act of self regulation about what we focus on, where we give our attention. People say they're committed to something, but if I look at their calendar, there's no blocks of time showing saved time for that thing they're committed to. If we're really committed to something shows up on our calendar. If we're really committed to something, we avoid the distractions that rip us away from that commitment. Isn't that true? We have to self regulate. Especially today when there's so much pull. The world's best engineers are working on one thing. Stealing your attention and focus each day because they can monetize it with their platforms. So you got to ask, what am I going to choose to give my attention to? For one, I want to celebrate you for choosing to give your attention today to your own personal development. To be here, to be doing the work, to be thinking about bettering your life. You're awesome. That choice today was an uncommon one. I want you to know that I've spent what, 25 years in personal development, and so many people say they're committed to personal growth. Very few show up. You're here. Good for you. Third big idea is if we want to be committed to something, there has to be an element of social service, or at least social stakes. What do I mean by that? Well, social service means if we want to be committed to something, if we can attach contribution to what we're committed to, where we feel like we're giving or generous or helping and serving others, making a difference, it's easier to stay committed to it because it taps into that altruistic spirit that we all have in our heart. But if that's hard in some situations, we can build social stakes. What that means is you put pressure on yourself, willingly, socially, to make sure you do something. It's where you might share with a whole group of friends that you're going to run that marathon. And the only reason you're sharing it with everybody and sharing the date and asking them to show up and cheer for you is to force you to actually do it. Okay? That's willingly taking on social pressure to make yourself compete, complete, do the thing. And I think people really under leverage. This part of the reason I've always shared my own journey and building my brands, my companies, my businesses. I've always shared about it because I thought, well, if I'm speaking about it, I got to follow through on it. If I say something, you know, I'm going to deliver on it. And if I don't, I feel bad or people give me a bad time and I go, okay, well, let me get back on track. Let me stay committed to that. Trust me, I don't get everything right. In fact, we'll talk about that in a moment. But I try to share with others my goals, my ambitions, my real thoughts and feelings and dreams, and I ask them to keep accountable, keep me accountable for it. Say, hey, you know what? If you ever hear me with a pessimistic attitude, please remind me I'm a life coach. I say that to so many of my dear friends. You know what? If you ever see me and I'm not practicing, you know, ever see me if I'm. If I'm out, you know, if I'm out of shape, if you ever see me or hear me be rude to other people, call me out on that. Don't let me get ego. Don't let me fall off of my commitments and my dreams and how I want to be a role model in this world. And I think that that's why I've been crazy, steady and consistent for all these years is because I set up the social pressure on purpose to keep me on track. Many of you will do more for others than you'll do for yourself. So use that psychology to help you be committed to what matters. Last idea, just another perhaps phrase of a psychologist would be failure regulation. That is, you're going to fail and you have to choose how you're going to regulate your emotions and your thoughts, your interactions with others when you do fail. I really believe people who stay the committed the longest, they anticipate the breakdown, the failure, the suck, the difficult moments, the hardships. We talk about this with high performers all the time. You can't just imagine, you know, the 1950s version of, of visualization to achieve your dreams. You know, oh, you want to run a marathon. Just visualize yourself crossing that finish line over and over and over until it's real, until you see it and feel it. And then when you start studying a little bit about sports psychology, one of the most important things you can actually do is instead not, you know, is visualize the beginning, but visualize, you know, mile 16, when your knees feel like they're going to blow out, when you, when your ankles feel like they're going to fall off. Visualize what you're going to say to yourself when you want to quit, when you see people passing you, when you're exhausted, when you have to start to walk because you just don't think you can jog anymore, when it's going to go bad, when you're about to quit, when you come up that tent where they've got, you know, all the food and the drinks and everyone cheering on, but they also have all those lawn chairs to sit and rest or sit it out. How are you going to keep yourself going? What are you going to say to yourself? Those things matter. That's failure anticipation and choosing in advance how you're going to regulate yourself during that moment. It's choosing in advance your self talk and your habit of overcoming or learning right when it matters the most. So you're committed to this big dream. Okay, what are you going to do when it's not going well? Well, let me tell you something right now. I know this because as I'm speaking to you, I know that maybe it sounds like I'm speaking to you individually, but I know that I'm also speaking to people in 98 countries around the world using growth day 98 countries right here. And I know this. Some of you are right now feeling like you're failing, it's not going good, you're struggling, you're off your good habits. Something's not going good at work or in your marriage, in your relationship. Some days the kids like you, some days they hate you. Sometimes you think you're making it, and other times you look at the credit card bills at the end of the month. It's not playing out right. When you're in those moments where it doesn't feel like it's going well. If you're there now, right now, then this is the time to teach yourself and train yourself. Okay, what am I going to do? It's not going right. What should I be saying to myself on a continual basis? How would my best self overcome this? What do I need to learn? What new practices do I need to try? What new mentors do I need? How can I get back on track? How can I take one small step to get a little momentum? Today you don't need to beat yourself up and be mean to yourself. You can give yourself grace and say, hey, you know what? Today I recommit to my dream. Even though it's not going perfect, today I recommit. Today I'm going to motivate myself and write down my goals again. Let me look at them again. Let me get that plan in place again. Let me take a few minutes to do that right now. Let me make sure that today I'm not going to let my attention be stolen by a bunch of nonsensical social media that adds no value to my life. No, I'm going to give my attention to progress. Today I'm going to call a couple friends or call a mentor and say, hey, you know what? I haven't been doing as good as I want. I have these goals. Here's what I want to do. Could you be my accountability partner? Could you cheer me on? Or maybe today you reach out, you get a coach. Maybe today you do something where you just send an email out to four or five friends saying, I'm going to do this. I want to give you this date. I want to know on this date this is going to happen and I'm going to make it happen. I'm committed to you right now. Maybe you tell your spouse that or you tell a friend that. You just make a social commitment. And most importantly, you choose today how to speak to yourself. Even. Even if it's not going right, you're going to honor yourself, give yourself some grace, realize that this day you can set your mindset again. You can make your plan. You can make some progress today. Because you and I both know every day is a great day to grow.
