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Part of life's confidence is showing up in uncertainty and being cool with it. Your job is to summon the best of who you are. You create your own demand. When you are a self reliant, high agency person, struggle is something to be honored, acknowledged, worked through positively. When you have no willingness to struggle, there is no expansion. Part of life's confidence is showing up in uncertainty and being cool with it. Because you know it's all make believe. There is no uncertainty anywhere. Oh, what I'm doing is I'm making believe that this thing is going to turn out really bad. And it makes me feel bad when I think it's going to turn out bad or I look at this thing and I don't know how it's going to turn out. So it freaks me out. But your job isn't to know how everything perfectly turns out. Your job is job number one is to summon the best of who you are. That's your job in that difficult moment. Summon the best of who you are when you don't know what to do. Summon the best of who you are when you're facing that thing that requires a lot of faith. Summon the best of who you are when you don't know how it's going to turn out. Summon the best of who you are. And all you can do to summon the best of who you are is have a little bit of a vision, look out a little bit and go, okay, what could life be like? Even if this is true, even if I lose this person, even if I don't get the job, even if I move to a new city, even if the outcome sucks, what would my vision be then? And orienting ourselves towards our future. Vision is the thing that inspires hope and action. And when we can do that over and over and over again, when our time gets spent there versus uncertainty and past and situations, when our time is in forward motion, when our attention is in forward motion, everything becomes different. You become the change maker, not just the uncertain, scared person. You can change things, you can move things. And even if you can't change things, you can change your vision for what happens afterwards. Instead of catastrophizing. This is what I would do afterwards, right? It puts you back in that planning mode, that ambition mode, that attention towards a future state that's certainly more hopeful than just wandering around going, I don't know, things are so uncertain. I guess I shouldn't do anything. And I know you know people like that, so I'm teasing. So why don't we do it? Well, most People don't change. And it's pretty clear that's what's happening, is they're kind of stuck in one mode here. Let me talk about the three rings of change. The three rings of change and then the four emotions that are often driving them for people that they don't even know about. Most people most of their life are in the comfort ring, right? This is pretty obvious. I don't need to belabor it. You get in comfort mode, right? You're just there, right? It feels good. You don't want to change. And a lot of people actually are growing in their life, and they're doing good things and they're comfortable. And so please hear. I want to say this as I start. Comfort is not a bad thing. I know being in the personal development world, they're always begging on comfort. But you know what? As I work with high performers, if I work with an Olympic sprinter, I want her to be comfortable on the track. The reason she practices so much. So she's comfortable in her body. She's comfortable with the idea, what she's about to do as she accelerates. She's comfortable with. With ending the race by slowing down a little less than everybody else slows down, right? So I got to know, like, comfort's okay. Like, I love that I can be comfortable when I'm sitting down, writing my book. I love that I can be comfortable when I'm meeting somebody new. I love that I'm comfortable when I go to a networking event. I'm comfortable. See, comfortable is not bad. So when I draw this out, often people go, oh, yeah, you know, they're in their comfort zone. That's why they suck. I'm like, comfort's not bad. The comfort zone is pretty good, right? Have you ever had a great pizza night? Watching your favorite movie with your favorite drink? That's pretty comfortable. That's good. Comfort zone is not a bad thing. By default, comfort zone becomes a bad thing when you are required to become more. When you are required to handle something that's not comfortable, when you don't face difficulty in your life. Now we got a problem, right? When comfort becomes avoidance, now we got a problem. When comfort becomes avoidance, now we got a problem because you're not willing to engage the difficult struggle required to change things, to create things, to become more, to become better, to lead better. Comfort is not a bad thing. It's when comfort is joined with avoidance of life, of your ambitions, of your real problems. Now we got a problem. But comfort is not bad. In fact, I'll show you through a lot of the emotions that you're going to experience. Go like, oh, that's why I stay there. We'll work through that in a moment. Okay, the next area here is demand. Demand zone, right? We've got the comfort zone, but we've got the demand zone. That's A, D, E, our demand zone. This is like. This is like, oh, people change. They change because it's demanded on them, right? They're forced into the corner. Someone's going to leave them if they don't change. There's an obligation at work. They have to do it. Like something shifts and it just directly personally impacts them, and you got to change. But see, demand zone is awesome. I've always found you cannot get yourself into high performance in your life unless you enter the demand zone. You have to enter an area that's a little harder for you. Join a group that's a little more advanced than you be in a conversation that's a little bit more outside your comfort zone, outside of your knowledge area. You've got to take on obligations and responsibilities that you're like, can I measure up? I don't know, but let me try. That's an incredibly empowering thing. It means you are the person who crafts, meaning you are the person who decides your attitude and your ambitions. And in that new future, I promise, if you really think about that future in that way, there's a demand there. There's a demand for you to become more. There's a demand for you to skill up. There's a demand for you to let go of old stories. There's a demand for you to handle the situation, the circumstance, the time, the opportunity. There's a demand on you, and it's a good one. The old demands, maybe those weren't good ones. Maybe your parents, they made mean demands. Other people, they demanded that you just fit in. Other people, they demeaned you as they demanded you fit in. But that's not what we're building towards. Your attention needs to shift again into the demands of the future. So let me work through the emotions and let me talk to you about the last ring and the real power of change. So what do we feel as we go through these? One of the things that we all want in our life is contentment. I want to be content, Brendan. I just want to strive satisfied. I just want it to feel good. I want to feel like I have enough. I want to feel like I'm enough. I want to, Brendan, just appreciate things around me. I just want to be In a good vibe, in a good mood. I want to feel content about my life's journey, about who I am. I want to feel like, you know what? I've earned it already. Not some distant future bro. Like, why are you always pushing me in the future, Brennan? Can't I just relax? Can I just feel good? Are you one of those anti vacation people, Brennan? Are you 100 hour work, Brendan? I'm like, I'm not for most of you know who, me. I'm incredibly content in my life. Genuine contentment gives you the edge because you don't need anymore. Now you get to play, you get enjoyment, you get to be fully present in the contentment of the thing. It doesn't make you soft, it makes you amplified, right? Gratitude doesn't make you soft. Gratify makes you amplified, right? Aliveness doesn't make you soft, it makes you faster. And so when I'm aliveness in the grace or the goodness of life, I'm more powerful. When I feel I lack, I'm not content. Does that make sense? So if you didn't like the word needy, maybe you just feel lacking all the time. If you feel lacking all the time, well, no wonder you avoid. If you feel lacking all the time, that's why you don't have the ambition. Your lacking has stolen your vision. It's like a blinder. I feel like I lack and I'm always going to lack. And so if I lack worth, lack belief, lack capability, lack something in my spirit, then of course I'm not going to engage. So one of the best ways to get people there and why so many people in my field focus on gratitude first, is because it's an amplifier. Because if I can get you content with life, if I can get you to appreciate. Let's use different language. If I can get you to appreciate life, you'll handle demands better. True or false? See, if you're lacking or you're mad or you're needy, you do not handle demand well. Why am I saying this? Because if you have not been charging forward in life, if you have not been structuring and building and architecting the changes necessary, the step changes necessary for you to pull yourself to the next levels, it's because the demand makes you feel lacking. You haven't appreciated your powers yet, you haven't appreciated the gifts yet. So demands are scary. But see, because I'm good, demands don't freak me out. Not because I've handled everything so perfectly. I just know I'm going to engage it. Job 1 Every new demand that I don't want. Job 1. Okay, didn't want that. How do I summon the best of who I am? Take the next right action of integrity. Handle this versus avoid it. And I'm going to make that move so many times, I'm going to fail along the way. I'll be embarrassed along the way. It won't work perfect every time. I'm just going to keep making that every time. Ultimately, I'll handle the demand better. At least I'll try to handle it. Because for a lot of people, the demands on their life keep building and building and building and building because they never handle them. But a lot of that, surprisingly, comes from their sense of contentment. But also with contentment, there's something better, in my opinion, and that is joy in my comforts, I take a lot of joy. I'm sure you do, too. When I do something, I really enjoy comfort. There's a different level of emotion there. And I want you to learn how to have joy through demand. Notice I didn't say joy is only here. Most people think contentment and joy only happen in their comfort zone. I'm like, no, no, in your demand zone, this is high performance. In your demand zone, you're going to be content, you're going to strive satisfied, you're going to strive good, you're going to strive in appreciation, but you're also going to learn to work through things with a joyful attitude. Do you input joy in the demand of your day? When you got to go to work hard day at work, you're frustrated, they're frustrated. Is there any joy there? Did you imbue the moment with joy or not? Did you imbue the moment with contentment or not? I'm telling you, all change, all change that most people need in their life is going to happen here in the demand zone. And you need to bring these things to it. Because the truth is also here, as you're going to see, is so much struggle. Struggle is going to be always here throughout every area we're going to talk about. Even in your comfort zones, you struggle to break the comfort zone. In the demand zone, you struggle because it requires more knowledge, skill, capability, or competency than you have in you so far. You're not trained up yet. You're not conditioned up yet. You're like super challenged with it. That's normal. That's all right. So struggle is going to be there. So now the question is this struggle, does this struggle overwhelm you or not? Even if you don't bring appreciation or joy to it? The question is, does the struggle, the challenge you are faced with, the suffering you might be facing, does it overwhelm you so much so you stop forward progress? Now that's where we really have to talk, right? That is the placement of why I always tell people right here. It's like, oh, if you're struggling with something year after year after year and it stops your forward motion, that is that time, you better talk to a therapist. Because if something you are struggling with over and over and is preventing you from living a happy, progress filled, fulfilling life, you need to work through that, you need to talk through that. You need to get a cognitive behavioral therapist especially who can help you understand at least the genesis of those thoughts and where they might be coming from. Because if struggle stops you, you will not have the life that you deserve. Struggle is something to be honored, acknowledged, seen, felt, worked through positively. Even if you didn't set up the struggle, even if you don't want the struggle. Struggle with something to be engaged. I use the word honor. You guys have seen me sell shirts and hats on this. It's one of our trademarks. Honor the struggle. I know you didn't want the struggle. Honor it. It's asking something of you. And even if you don't know why, you don't have to be able to explain why there's suffering or struggle in anyone's life, your life, or even humanity. You don't have to know that. Answer the question is, do you engage it and do you have forward momentum in your life towards your goals and your dreams? Even if it's a struggle, if struggle shuts you down, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. That's a skill issue. That's a skill issue. It's like, oh, I don't know how to deal with this yet. You don't have competency in problem solving. You have competency in resilience. You don't have a competency yet in the know how of how to work through something like that. It doesn't make you bad when I tell people you don't have competency. They get so offended by it. It's like, no, there's so many things I don't have competency in. So it's not a judgmental thing to say. Maybe you didn't know how you're struggling because you don't know how yet. You don't have the knowledge, skill, ability, talent, resources, know how. You got to go get those. Struggle is not something you just stop because you feel it, you have to ask, okay, am I really being overwhelmed by this by zooming in on it and stopping progress? Very few struggles in life stop progress long term. And that's the magic that I learned from high performers. See, they face a struggle and they zoom out, not zoom in. They go, okay, this is going to be a season of struggle. This is difficult. I don't have the right team, I don't have the right resources, I'm in the wrong building, I got this wrong. It's like I can see that it's wrong and it's going to be a difficult fight, but I can also go, that's going to be the season. Bigger picture. Eventually I'll work through this. Eventually it gets better. And as I'm working through it, eventually this is the direction I'm going. So there's still forward momentum. That's the thing. Even when you're in comfort, it's like a struggle. It's like, what is the edge for me? Because you ultimately are going to create your own demands in life, your own higher order goals, your own next levels, you create your own demand. When you are a self reliant, high agency person, you create your own demand. You're going to struggle yourself right through to the next levels of comfort. If your struggle is eating you alive, I need you to zoom out. Struggle is a season, it is not forever. Struggle is usually a season marred by lack of competence, lack of the right people around you, lack of the right strategies. It's not you being a bad person. Like we all struggle. I struggle, you struggle. It's normal. Struggle is not something to be avoided. You honor it, you go, I gotta struggle through this next level learning. I guess I gotta struggle through learning AI, I gotta struggle learning technology. I gotta struggle through this relationship. I gotta struggle through this date night where I gotta have that conversation. I got to struggle through replacing team. I got to struggle through whatever. But all those notice, all those I was like, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. Versus I'm willing to struggle through this because it'll make me better. Willingness to struggle, willingness to struggle, it's so foreign to most people, right? They're avoidant to struggle and that's why they're always stuck over here. There's no growth, there's no bigger picture, there's no expansion. When you have no willingness to struggle, there's no expansion. When you have no willingness to struggle, there's no expansion. I'm not making struggle, you know, Pollyannish and great. Some Struggle sucks, but a lot of it leads to expansion. But this is the common emotion that people get stuck in down here, pain. A lot of struggle. And a lot of our comforts and our demands are built upon how we perceive pain, whether or not there really is pain there. And I always tell people, like, pain doesn't go away. Not in terms of, like, the odds that it will never happen again. Right? Just like there's going to be struggle in the future, there's going to be pain in the future. But a lot of people contemplating future pain paralyze progress today. A lot of people contemplating future pain, which is uncertain, they don't know it's going to be there. Or maybe it is. It's like a chronic pain. They know it's going to be there. So they're frozen. They don't want to move. Because I don't want to move into pain. If I don't want to move into pain, and I think pain's going to be there, I don't move at all. The difference that I've learned about people who achieve greatness in their life is that they, as much as they honor struggle, they honor pain. But pain never becomes the full picture. Pain is never the full picture. They see pain, but there's all these other paths around it. Like, there's pain, there's always pain. In growing something new, it's difficult. Do you endure? Can you appreciate? Can you bring in joy? Can you honor the struggle even though the pain is there? I'm just telling you that is a demand that high performers often make of themselves. Because high performers, they have tremendous amounts of clarity and energy, and a lot of that comes from the rest and the reflection. But we're not going to avoid the pain of a hard work week over and over and over again. So much so that we never achieve a dream like there is. Painful decisions you're going to have to make. A lot of painful decisions have to happen here. It's just real. Is there a painful decision you've been waiting to make? I'm not asking you to make it today. I'm asking you to contemplate it. Sometimes those painful decisions, we put them off too long. Instead of preparing, we know we have to make the decision. So I'm not the hurry up and make the painful decision guy. I'm the you better start planning and preparing guy now. If there's something painful you have to do, start planning and preparing now. If you got to change your team, let people go. Start planning and preparing now. If you have to change that relationship. Start planning and preparing now. If you got to do something new, that's going to be like woo. That's going to be a hard launch. Start planning and preparing now. Like people understand that. Okay, if I'm going to make this change, it's going to be painful. Let me go in as prepared and as strong as I can be. I know you know this. I'm just reminding you. I'm just reminding you. Another big area here, and this is where true greatness and high performance lives is calling. Calling. See, you need to change. Not just because you have a comfort zone. Not just because you're demanded of it. Because you sense the pull, something is pulling you. A mission, a purpose, a cause, a voice, a God, a dream. And see, most people, they never change because they've never sought a calling. Most people never change because they don't listen to the calling. You know what most people do? They scroll through everybody else, hit lists, and they never envision their calling. They have no vision, no ambition, no calling, no purpose that's bigger than what's in front of them. And so they don't develop.
