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The fears will always be there. It's can we overcome them? To live a happy, productive, connected, vibrant and fulfilling life? Isn't that it? I mean, think about it. Yes, I have fears, and yes, you do too. But can we overcome those? To live a happy, vibrant, connected, productive, fulfilling life? Can we overcome those to grow in our own abilities, capabilities and courage? How do you deal with fear? This topic is so vital. How to deal with fear? You know, there's this common misconception in the world that we're all running around driven by our amygdala, terrified of the, you know, mythical saber tooth tigers chasing us around. And here's what I would add to that conversation. Most people actually aren't driven by fear. Most people are driven by a higher, conscious, important impulse. An impulse to collaborate, to love, to build. I know a lot of the emphasis on conversations about personal development lead back to evolutionary biology. No, no, no. We are wired to be afraid. We're wired to pay attention to what doesn't work. And you know what? Of course we are. But that's only half the conversation. The rest of the conversation is actually what more of evolution has shown by leaps and bounds. More of what history has shown since those saber toothed tigers all disappeared so long ago. The vast majority of the human story since those saber toothed tigers have disappeared has actually not been driven by fear, but rather a preponderance of historical evidence that human beings are actually driven to collaborate, that we were actually driven to care for one another, that we were actually driven to create and to build more so than most of those fears. It doesn't mean we don't have the fears, but let's not confuse ourselves and think that most people are driven all day round predominantly by their fears. I was recently talking with a great friend about this and mentioned how if it was true that humanity was driven by fears, then why does so many people leave their house? We leave our house to go out and bond, create, build, do something. And so that impulse often overcomes our fears. And that's the deal. The fears will always be there. It's, can we overcome them? To live a happy, productive, connected, vibrant and fulfilling life? Isn't that it? I mean, think about it. Yes, I have fears, and yes, you do too. But can we overcome those to live a happy, vibrant, connected, productive, fulfilling life? Can we overcome those to grow in our own abilities, capabilities and courage? Yes, of course we're scared, you know, that our children will be hurt in the world, but most people still will send them to school despite that fear. Yes, we're scared of rejection, but most people will still go to work or still post something online risking that terrible rejection. The truth is most of us will move beyond those fears unless we're struggling with mental health or mental disorder. And in that case, where it's paralyzing fear that truly is in need of therapeutic work to overcome that conditioning or that biological response that has taken over the healthy mechanisms of living a normal life, very few people have that situation. And so what we need to do is ask ourselves two questions. Am I paralyzed by fear? And if so, therapy. If you find yourself overcoming it and moving on and doing okay. But sometimes you get down, you get frustrated, you get, you know, kind of paralyzed in terms of distractions or other things. A lot of that is the work of personal development and being more self aware about it, getting coaching and moving on. Now I know some people will say, Brendan, you're marginalizing, or geez, Brendan, you are not adapting to the truth that some people face this or that. I'm like, oh no, I promise I'm fully aware of it. But I want to let you and remind you, as I always do on this platform, I'm not a therapist and a psychiatrist or a neuroscientist. So my job is actually to refer you to that if you're facing that problematic, troubling behavior that is over and over and over in response in such a way that you're not moving your life forward or feeling like you're capable of getting assistance. And seeking out mental health professionals is something we always recommend, I mean, thousands and thousands of times here in all the courses, the programs, the live events today I'm going to talk about it from a self improvement angle to share what is the things that we commonly have to be aware of in our mindset and how we deal with life, that in being aware of them, we can appropriately adjust, respond, adapt, continue going and growing. First, I like to tell people what usually the modern person fears is four things that they're really inventing in their mind. Right there is the real physical fear that comes along with our need for safety, right? That is that quote unquote, saber tooth tiger. We all want to be physically safe. And when we feel those fears that we're walking down the wrong alley or somebody is threatening us, those are real things we need to really listen to and pay attention to. The modern person outside of that physical safety element is actually just struggling with poor management of our mind. We tell ourselves these stories that make us freaked out, anxious, worried, stressed, fearful in such A way that we don't progress. And often those four things that we tend to fear, when you're aware of them, it's like, oh, that's what's going on for me. Because here's what those four fears are. First and foremost, people fear ruin, ruin. Like, my life will be destroyed if I do X. If I don't, you know, get into this college, I'm destroyed. My life is quote, unquote over, right? If this person finds out about I did that, I'll be so embarrassed and awful, I just can't even continue on. Or if this business deal doesn't go through, or if I lose my job, my life is totaled. I'm ruined, right? If this, you know, if crypto doesn't go up, I'm ruined. If this doesn't happen, I'm ruined. We fear that our life, because of an external situation or an internal choice, will be quote, unquote, decimated. And most people only have that because they catastrophize. They blow up situations into being so total and so catastrophic that their life can't move on. And honestly, most of us are in some kind of spectrum of that of thinking that things will be totally ruined and they're catastrophic to sometimes not taking things seriously enough and recognizing risks somewhere in there. Most, though, when they struggle with real progress, joy, happiness, confidence in life, it's usually coming from ruin. They're thinking, that would ruin me. And so what has happened? They've developed what psychologists would call a fixed mindset. It's funny how the ruined mindset puts you into a fixed mindset. You start to believe things are only true. You can't develop and grow, and what happens is you no longer have what I would just call a learning mindset. I've never feared ruin because I've always had confidence that I can learn. If something goes bad, I'll learn from it. I'll get better, I'll get back up, I'll keep going. That combines the learning mindset plus the willingness to try and get better. It also has that element of self trust, doesn't it? Well, sure. Brennan, you believe in yourself. Yes. What's the alternative? Not to believe in oneself is to hurt one's own future simply by running one's mind in a certain way. We have to learn in personal development to give ourselves credit, to recognize our strengths, to allow those beliefs to come in, that we have self worth, that we can permit ourselves to keep trying, that no problem is ever going to ruin our life forever, that it's just part of the journey. And we're gonna have to overcome it, get better, and grow through it. The second big thing is rejection. You know, human beings have such a huge desire for connection, and we're terrified that that connection we ripped away, which is that sense of belonging, acceptance, trust, respect with other people. We bucket it into the term of rejection. I'm scared she won't like me. I'm scared they'll ostracize me, Or I'm just scared I'll be lonely and cut out. Not a part of that stuff of rejection. It's unbelievable. Honestly, I'm one of those people who wishes we taught confidence, personal development, self awareness, mindfulness in high schools. Because I believe that our concern about rejection, at least in the sense that it stops our life from progressing, that we should get that figured out in high school because we've faced so much of it. I'm like, how much? I always tell people, how much more rejection do you have to face in your life before you finally realize it won't ever stop you because you've already faced it so many times. You've already been judged hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands of times. Micro judgments from other people. Acceptance into the in crowd or in your company. You know, promotions are not promotions opportunities. Doors opened or closed. I mean, how often? How many more? It's kind of like, I wish everyone had to learn sales, because when you learn sales, you just know. It's part of the process. Rejection is part of the process. You gotta knock on 10 doors before one says yes. And you don't diminish yourself. Every single knock that says no, you recognize that that's odds. That's the favorability of persistence, of trusting that you'll find your customer, of trusting you'll find your tribe, of trusting you'll find your partner. It's trust realizing that you will find a way to connect. If you keep going, if you allow rejection to shut you down year over year over year, well, that's certainly a great place to explore therapy because you're scared to open up and to love and to connect anymore. And those are very important human needs that sometimes need assistance or guidance, whether therapeutic or coaching or just your own internal work. For me, I happen to be just a kid. I had to read a lot of books. I turned to books for the solutions, and they gave me perspective to realize, wow, my mindset is really messing me up about this one girl that broke my heart once. I gotta overcome that. I gotta do the spiritual work to let go of that. And I found that through books and audios. And some other people find it through interactions, friends, mentors, coaches, therapists, whatever way. But at some point, we have to realize that the rejection of others does not need to stop us. Next up, we fear regret. Regret. Well, if I don't do that thing, then that's gonna make my life suck. Or if I do that thing, I'll feel shame for it and regret forever. And none of us wants to be 90 years old. Another old metaphor, right? It's like two really old metaphors in personal development. You know, imagine yourself 90 years old on a rocking chair on a porch, or imagine yourself being chased by a saber toothed tiger. Apparently these are very popular things. But imagine that at the end of our lives, we're reflecting and we're regretting not taking that risk, not starting that business, not asking for the promotion, not telling that person we loved them. We don't want that. So a lot of us will act to avoid that regret. And when it's done from a place of higher purpose, you know, a mission to feel alive and connected and fulfilled, to grow, then it's okay. But if we're paralyzed by the fears of regret and we are acting out, for example, and overextending ourselves because of regret, that's something to pay attention to where if your life falls out of balance, you take on too much, or you take too many unnecessary or inappropriate risks, then that fear of regret, it's getting in the way. And you have to realize again, with the learning mindset, with perseverance, with an understanding of the long game, you can often create, build or experience anything in life as long as you have that longer term perspective. Often our fears of regret, it's like, oh my gosh, if I don't do this right now, it's really just FOMO masks is a fancier word of regret. And we have to learn to be more visionary people. And I've always found that visionary people very rarely are driven by regret. They're driven by a calling, but they're also because they're visionary and they're driven by a calling. They want to take care of themselves, make responsible decisions, plan for the longer view. And they tend to be less fearful because they give themselves time. They're not driven by FOMO regret. Last idea, something to be attentive of is the fear of responsibility. Woo. This is a tricky one. Most people don't realize that what they're fearful of is actually more success, more obligations, more complexity in life. And those things of course come with more success, more Responsibility. So they just think, if I had more on my plate, I couldn't handle it. If I had more employees, I couldn't handle it. So they never grow their business. If I had more things to do, I wouldn't be good to my kids. So I don't want to try anything new, including learning to organize my schedule differently. We get in this idea that we can't handle the futures of opportunities, demands, or obligations. And that fear paralyzes us from trying things, building things, taking on greater ambitions and goals to serve. We gotta be aware of that. And in this way, I always tell people, well, if you're scared of handling more responsibilities, let me ask you this question. Do you have more responsibilities today or last year than you did a decade ago? They go, yeah. I go, that's funny because you said yes. But it looks like you still can breathe, still looks like you're alive. You've come this far. Maybe what you just need is some new habits of productivity, new ways of influencing others to ask for help or receive help or investment or buy in. Maybe sometimes those fears that you can't handle, it can be solved by some mindset work, some habit work, some relationship work, some productivity work. And I'm not saying those are the only answers. But I'm here to say if you fear you can't handle the future, I'm here to tell you the good news is you're not going to be the same in the future as you are today. You are actually building up yourself right now. You might not know it, but you're building capabilities right now. So you're actually better in the future. You're gonna be stronger in the future because you came here today, you listened to this, you're gonna reflect about these fears of ruin and rejection, of regret, of responsibility. You're gonna think through them, you're gonna process them, you're gonna be aware of them. You're gonna notice when they come up, and you're gonna find a way to adopt that learning mindset, to challenge yourself to keep going and to realize that you're gonna be better in the future anyway so you can actually handle it. I can take on bigger things in the future. Cause I'm gonna grow into them. Or I'll grow my skillset. I'll grow my mindset, I'll grow my network, I'll grow my relationships, I'll grow my capabilities. I know I can change the world in bigger ways in the future because I can change myself right now because every day is a great day to grow.