Narrator (11:28)
Late one afternoon In December of 1986, a woman named Shanthi Singh was sitting on her bed cradling her toddler son, whose name was Titu, as he threw a huge temper tantrum. Titu, who was three years old, had already been throwing this tantrum for about 30 minutes at this point, and it didn't seem like anything Shanti did was getting him to calm down. In fact, honestly, it just seemed like Titu was getting worse and worse by the second. And Shanthi knew her son's constant wailing must be annoying her neighbors in the little rural village in northern India where they lived. But again, Shanti just felt like really, there was nothing she could do. After all, this was not a typical toddler tantrum. Titu was not throwing this tantrum because he lost a toy or was fighting with his siblings or something. No, the reality was Shanthi and her husband had no idea why Titu was throwing this tantrum because Titu threw these tantrums all the time for seemingly no reason. And nothing they did would get him to stop. He would just start throwing these crazy fits and he would only stop when he was ready. Now, Shanthi and her husband had taken Titu to the local doctor and he'd been examined. And the doctor said, look, I think your son's just fine. I can't find anything wrong with him. So whatever's causing him to be so upset, it's got to be psychological. Shanthi grabbed her son and tried to give him a hug and kiss to get him to calm down. But as she did that, you know, Titu turned around and tried to hit her in the face and kicked her and punched her. And so Shanti had to kind of fall back on the bed. And Titu, at this point, who's still throwing this huge tantrum, he leapt off the bed and ran out of the room. Now, shanti had already sent the rest of her family, her kids, her husband, outside to wait out this current titu tantrum. And so for a second, Shanthi thought about just laying on the bed and letting her crazy toddler just kind of run around the house until he was done throwing this tantrum. But as shanthi was laying there on the bed, practically crying from frustration, she heard a plate break in the kitchen. And so she jumped up and ran into the kitchen, and there was Titu looking down at the ground where there was a shattered plate on the ground. Clearly, titu had smashed it on purpose. And so, as furious as shanthi was, she suddenly realized that, you know, nothing she could do is going to get this kid to stop. And so right now, the only thing she could do was just put him in a safe place where he couldn't hurt other people or himself or damage anything else. And so shanthi, trying to be as calm as possible, walked up to titu, who's still throwing this tantrum and swinging at her as she's coming near him. And she grabbed him, she turned him around so he couldn't kick her or punch her. She put him into his room and then shut the door. And then she sat down in the hallway with her back up against the door to keep it shut. And then as titu inside the room began picking banging on the door and trying to open it. You know, Shanthi's sitting there anchoring the door, and she's just praying that her son's gonna calm down soon. And then at some point, shanthi heard her son start to say something that typically signaled the end of a tantrum. Titu in the bedroom, began saying the word sirsh verma, which actually was a nonsense word that Shanthi and her husband and the other kids had no idea what it meant. But, you know, titu, at the end of his tantrums, he would always just start saying over and over again, shirsh verma, shir sh verma shurma. And so Shanthi, she's in the hall, and she's hearing titu start to do that. And so on the one hand, she's thinking, okay, you know, this tantrum's about to end. But on the other, she's like, I have no idea what that word means. You know, it's obviously connected in some way to what's going on with my son. But I Have no idea what it means. It sounds like nonsense. And so Shanthi began yelling through the door at Titu to explain what Shirsh Verma meant. But Titu had no explanation. He just kept saying the word over and over again. Sir Sh. Verma, Shvrma Sh Verma. Shanthi and her husband had five other kids. Titu was the youngest. And Titu was not like any of his other siblings. The other siblings did not throw temper tantrums like this, not at all. And in fact, Titu had been a difficult child even before he was born. Towards the end of Shanthi's pregnancy with Titu, she'd become very, very sick and in fact had to be hospitalized for the entire last trimester. And then as a newborn baby, Titu basically didn't sleep at all and he cried constantly. And so Shanti and her husband initially thought, you know, Titu must just be a very fussy baby. But in time, you know, as he grew into more of a toddler, it was clear to Shanthi and her husband that Titu was actually a different kind of kid. He seemed like a very unhappy and kind of angry kid who was permanently on the verge of crying or throwing a fit. But it wasn't until Titu began talking at around 2 years old that Shanthi and her husband really started to become worried. Because the things Titu was saying as a two year old were just not in keeping with what you would expect a two year old to say. And I'm not talking about the nonsense word that Titu would use during his temper tantrums. Sir S.H. verma. Basically, Titu would say things that seemed to indicate that he genuinely hated everyone in his family. Now for context, Shanthi and her family were not poor, but they weren't rich either. They lived in a little concrete home, they didn't have a TV or a car and all the kids wore hand me down clothes. And Shanti actually handmade her clothes and her husband's clothes. But the family always had enough food to eat and they were educated and they seemed happy enough. It's just that they didn't really have the ability to do anything extra. Like above and beyond a modest life. And Titu had never known anything different. This was his life from the day he was born. But when he learned to speak at around 2 years old, it was like all Titu wanted to talk about was how crappy of a lifestyle their family lived. For example, when Titu's mom, Shanthi would put on one of her saris that happened to be ripped a Sari is a traditional garment in India. Titu would look at what she was wearing, and in toddler speak, you know, he would tell her that she looked terrible and that it looked like she was just wearing rags. Titu would also walk around their house, and he would point to spots in the house that looked dirty, and he would demand that somebody cleaned it up because he didn't want to live in a dirty house. And then whenever the family needed to go somewhere and they would walk there or take the bus there, Titu would complain the entire time that he wanted to be in a car. And why aren't we driving in a car? Like, why are we walking? Despite the fact that Titu basically had never used a car before. But perhaps the strangest aspect of Titu's behavior was around the time he began talking and insulting his family, he also began talking about this very historic city called Agra, which was located about 8 miles away from where they lived. Agra was famous for being home to the Taj Mahal, which is considered to be one of the most beautiful buildings ever made. Agra also has a very busy downtown and lots of tourism. But Titu had never been to Agra, and there was no reason he would be drawn to Agra, like his family had no connection to that city. But starting around the time Titu began talking at 2 years old, he began asking to go to Agra several times a week. And when his parents would say, no, we're not going to go to Agra, Titu would throw a huge tantrum. And so, not long after Titu had begun speaking and saying all these terrible things, Shanthi and her husband decided that really all they could do was just wait and hope their son grew out of this terrible behavior. But Titu did not grow out of this. Shortly after his parents decided to just kind of wait it out, Titu would randomly attack another small child with a sugar cane. And he beat the kid so badly, the kid was bleeding at the end of the attack. And then also another time, shortly after the sugarcane beating, Titu was at the store with his mother. And his mom was looking at this bracelet, which she couldn't afford. She was just looking at it through the glass. And Titu sensed his mom wanted the bracelet. And in an odd show of affection for his mother, he turned to the shopkeeper, this little tiny kid who's not even three years old yet, and he tells the shopkeeper that if he doesn't give this bracelet to his mother for free, that Titu will shoot and kill the shopkeeper. And so after this, Shanthi and her Husband just stopped taking Titu out in public at all. It was just too embarrassing. But what really just unsettled Shanthi the most about her son's behavior was that nonsense word that Titu kept saying at the end of all of his tantrums. And so fast forward to that day, after he's broken the plate and now Shanthi's put him in his room, Titu begins saying that nonsense word. Except he was getting a little bit older and his speech was getting a little bit more clear. And so as Shanthi was laying up against the door, she realized that her son was not saying a single word. Shersh Verma. He was saying two words. They were Suresh Verma. But Shanthi had no idea what that meant. She thought it sounded like a name, but it was a name she had never heard before. But one day, a few months after the dish breaking incident In April of 1987, all of Titu's very strange, erratic, terrible behaviors would erupt all at once. That April day started out like any other. Shanti made breakfast for her family, and then her husband headed out to do some errands. And her six children kind of dispersed around the inside and outside of the house to play, study, whatever. But Titu was really grouchy. And so he stayed inside in the kitchen with Shanti. A little while later, Shanti's oldest son came into the kitchen and he asked his mother, hey, when will dad get back from his trip to Agra? Shanti's husband had gone to Agra to run one of his chores. And. And Agra was the city that Titu was totally obsessed with. And so when Shanti's oldest son said the word Agra, Titu, who was sitting in the kitchen, he heard it and kind of looked up like he was totally fixated on their conversation. And then as Shanti and her oldest were talking about the dad, Titu just got up, left the kitchen, and he went to his room, he grabbed a couple of things, and then he came back into the kitchen carrying this bundle of clothes with him. And he walked right past his brother and his mother. He went out the front door and began running down the road without saying a word. Remember, this is like a three year old child. This is not a teenager. This is a little kid. And so Shanti and her oldest son, they kind of watched in shock as Titu ran off down the road. And for a minute neither of them did anything. And then it was like they broke out of their trance. And the oldest son just turned and began running out of the house to Catch up with Titu. Now, it didn't take long for the oldest to catch up with his young brother. But it was surprisingly hard to stop Titu from trying to run away. He fought back as hard as he could to keep his brother from pulling him back to the house. And then when the older brother got Titu back inside, Shanti looked at her older son and she saw he had a black eye from where Titu had just hit him. And when Shanti turned to Titu to try to get him to apologize to his brother for hitting him, she saw Titu was completely inconsolable. He was throwing a huge temper tantrum. He was on the ground kicking and flailing and screaming at the top of his lungs. And so Shanti and her oldest son knew there was no hope in getting him to calm down. He was deep into one of his tantrums. And so Shanthi and the oldest just basically restrained Titu so he couldn't hurt himself or one of them or damage anything. And for a while, as they held him to the ground, Titu just continued to scream and flail and throw this fit. But eventually he did kind of calm down and he began saying, suresh verma, Suresh verma over and over again. But then he began talking about something that he really hadn't brought up before that stood out to Shanthi and her oldest son, Titu, in addition to saying periodically, suresh verma, Suresh verma also began talking about some radio store in Agra. And Titu kept saying, why didn't dad bring me to the radio store? Why didn't he bring me? And so as Shanthi is listening to her son, she suddenly thinks, you know what? This is my chance. He's being so specific about this radio store. You know, maybe this is my opportunity to lean in and learn what the heck is going on with my kid. And so once Titu fully stopped his temper tantrum and Shanti and her oldest could finally let go of him, once Titu had left the room, Shanti turned to her oldest son and she told him to go to Agra. Right? Right now just go there and look for a radio store or something. Look for anything that could be a clue to what's going on with Titu. He obviously has some fixation with the city. Just go look around, see if you can find something. So the oldest son left the house and he went to one of his friends houses who had a car, and together they drove into Agra. Now, Shanti had no idea if her oldest son's trip to Agra would produce anything useful. But she figured, you know, she's got nothing to lose. A few hours later, when Shanti's oldest son returned from Agra, he came into their home with a very serious look on his face. And right away, Shanti could tell clearly he's discovered something. And so Shanti asked her oldest son, you know, tell me, what did you learn? What happened in Agra? And the oldest son, you know, he looked down for a second, then he looked back at his mom and he just said, tomorrow we're going to have visitors.
