Storytime with MrBallen | Tom Segura

Summary

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MrBallen Podcast: Strange, Dark & Mysterious Stories

Storytime with MrBallen | Tom Segura

Date: August 20, 2025
Host: Mr. Ballin
Guest: Tom Segura

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Overview

This special episode marks a new direction for the MrBallen Podcast with the first-ever guest interview. Host Mr. Ballin sits down with acclaimed comedian, actor, and producer Tom Segura to discuss the art of storytelling, comedic process, and the allure of the strange and mysterious. Segura shares insights from his stand-up, the creation of his Netflix series "Bad Thoughts," and reflects on both personal experiences and the broader appeal of dark or bizarre stories. The episode also features an exclusive and chilling mysterious tale delivered in classic MrBallen fashion, sparking a candid conversation about aliens, creativity, and upcoming projects.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Art & Science of Storytelling (02:46–10:10)

• Tom’s Background in Storytelling:

  • Tom credits his mother’s dramatic, colorful storytelling skills for shaping his own, contrasting her strengths with his father’s comically bad approach.
    • "My dad was as bad as you can get at telling a story. A toddler tells better stories." (03:25 – Tom Segura)
  • Early influences helped him notice the importance of painting vivid pictures and punching up details for effect.
    • “[My mom] was, like, a naturally dramatic storyteller, heightening parts of the story, drawing you in, adding color.” (04:21 – Tom Segura)

• Learning the Craft as a Comedian:

  • Storytelling on stage is considered an advanced skill, requiring comfort and confidence built over years.
    • "You can't manufacture being a comfortable comic. It happens because you’ve done it thousands of times." (04:39 – Tom Segura)

• Signature Story – The Lost Wallet (05:48–08:12):

  • Tom recounts a true, awkwardly hilarious quest to return a lost wallet, highlighting his method of providing context and building anticipation through detail.
    • “You understand that there are aspects of the story that I need to appreciate… so that the story matters.” (08:12 – Mr. Ballin)
    • “Context is like, the biggest thing of joke telling, too.” (08:24 – Tom Segura)

2. Comedy, Intrusive Thoughts, and the Birth of "Bad Thoughts" (10:10–16:01)

• Origin of "Bad Thoughts":

  • Segura explains how the show is rooted in universal dark, impulsive thoughts—doing or saying what we usually suppress.
    • “I’ve always felt that human beings… we all have dark thoughts, Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. And part of it is like… you don’t act on it.” (10:30 – Tom Segura)
  • The "Coffee Shop" sketch, born from relatable frustrations, exemplifies taking a real impulse to an extreme for comedy.

• Recycling and Evolving Ideas:

  • Many concepts in "Bad Thoughts" evolved from stand-up material or longstanding personal jokes.
    • The infamous “virtual reality toilet” bit originated from Tom’s recurring prank stories to his mother about grotesque bathroom situations.
    • “I would do that to her, like, every couple years, I would tell her the same thing. She would never remember that I’d already told her that.” (15:41 – Tom Segura)

3. The Creative Process, Experimentation, and Growth (16:01–22:36)

• On Material Development:

  • Good ideas sometimes need years to mature before working on stage, and true comedic growth requires risk, experimentation, and private reflection.
    • "Laziness in comedy… is about all the times you’re not on stage… thinking about, like, that think that’s the work.” (16:12–17:30 – Tom Segura)
  • Comedians can become stagnant if they only repeat proven material, and the excitement (and fear) lies in debuting new bits to live crowds.
    • “You go, I’m just gonna do [the same 20 minutes] because it works… But then the worst thing happens, which is that that 20 minutes… just starts to weigh on you because it’s not exciting or new.” (18:43 – Tom Segura)

• Audience Dynamics & Feedback:

  • Not all crowd reactions are overt—quiet audiences may still be deeply engaged.
    • “Sometimes…you get these very reserved crowds…but they had a great time…You don’t realize it until you’ve done this a while.” (20:57–22:36 – Tom Segura)

4. Storytime: The Case of Rafael Perez (24:06–33:53)

[24:06–33:53]

Exclusive Story Narrated by Mr. Ballin

• Summary:
  Rafael Perez, a young trainee pilot in Mexico in 1976, is on his first solo flight. Lost in heavy fog, his plane becomes unresponsive, starts climbing on its own, and Rafael suddenly passes out. He wakes up over the ocean, far beyond possible range, with inexplicably high fuel and no memory of traveling. When he radios for help, air traffic controller Carlos asks, “Are you alone in your airplane?”—because for almost an hour, the voice from Rafael's plane (recorded in transcripts) spoke robotically, warning of humanity’s violent tendencies and impending doom, claiming to use “the pilot as a microphone.” The incident is quickly buried by officials, and the full transcript is now only available in a remote Mexican library.

• Memorable Reaction:
  "That’s a great story. That’s a great story." (33:53 – Tom Segura)

  • Segura offers entertaining, open-minded speculation:
    • “It’s either a bipolar schizophrenic who is having a pretty crazy episode, or there’s another being involved, which is more exciting... ‘cause we’re in the era now of the government being like, yeah, we have stuff.” (34:02 – Tom Segura)

5. Aliens, Belief, and the Fermi Paradox (34:00–38:29)

• Modern Attitudes on Extraterrestrials:

  • Discussion on society’s blasé reaction to government UFO disclosures.
    • “The thing that we used to make a movie about... now we’re like, yeah, we have them. And everyone’s like, yeah, it’s very strange, right?” (34:30 – Tom Segura)

• Philosophical Thought Experiment:

  • With universe’s vastness in mind, both speakers agree alien life is likely.
    • “For me it just always felt like too arrogant to be like, it’s just us.” (35:30 – Tom Segura)
  • Mr. Ballin references Neil deGrasse Tyson’s analogy about ants and algae, suggesting our failure to recognize or communicate with aliens may be due to immense differences in perception and intelligence.

• Playful Speculation:

  • Segura jokes about “reptilian” humans and the fun of the conspiratorial mindset:
    • “You can let your mind kind of embrace the idea... you're like, that's a reptilian... They’re already here.” (37:47 – Tom Segura)

6. What’s Next for Tom Segura? (38:29–end)

• Upcoming Projects:

  • Tom is set to star in a new movie, a cartel comedy in which he plays two characters.
    • “It’s an R rated comedy… has great story, great dynamics, great characters and it’s outrageously funny.” (39:19–40:07 – Tom Segura)

• Creative Philosophy:

  • Strong comedic stories must be grounded in quality narrative, not just gags.
    • “You have to have great story supporting the... comedy parts of it.” (39:50 – Tom Segura)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Storytelling:
  • "She was like, painting a picture, and you’re like, yeah..." (04:21 – Tom Segura)
  • "Context is like, the biggest thing of joke telling, too." (08:24 – Tom Segura)
• On Dark Thoughts & Relatability:
  • “He says the thing that we all want to say… that’s such a release for an audience.” (10:30 – Tom Segura)
• On Taking Risks:
  • "You always need, like, new. Something new. New is what makes it exciting and moving." (17:30 – Tom Segura)
• On the UFO Story:
  • "The pilot is speaking, but not of his own free will. We are using him as a microphone. Your equipment is too primitive. It is not important who we are or where we come from, only that we are inhabitants of the same universe." (Narration of transcript, 31:54–32:22 – Mr. Ballin)
• On Audience Response:
  • "You’re like, just so you know, you suck. And they’re like, I thought we were having a good time." (22:11 – Tom Segura)
• On Extraterrestrial Life:
  • "It just always felt too arrogant to be like, it’s just us." (35:30 – Tom Segura)
  • Mr. Ballin: “Are you interested in algae?” Tom: “No.” (37:11, 37:19)
• On Upcoming Film:
  • “I get to play two characters… it’s really, really funny script… it has like great dynamics, great characters and it’s outrageously funny.” (39:19 – Tom Segura)

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Timeline of Important Segments

• [02:46] – Introduction of Tom Segura; discussion on being a storyteller.
• [05:48] – Tom’s ‘Lost Wallet’ story.
• [10:10] – Inspiration and philosophy behind “Bad Thoughts.”
• [13:03] – Adapting stand-up bits into sketch comedy.
• [16:01] – Creative process, letting material marinate, risk-taking.
• [19:19] – Trying new material with live audiences; euphoria of success and pain of failure.
• [24:06] – MrBallen’s exclusive, unpublished Mexico story.
• [34:00] – The aliens/UFOs discussion.
• [38:29] – Tom discusses new movie and philosophy of good comedic storytelling.

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Tone & Style

The episode is lighthearted, candid, and nuanced, weaving moments of humor, philosophy, and suspense. Both hosts balance deep respect for storytelling with a willingness to embrace the weird and the absurd, making the conversation equally entertaining for comedy fans and lovers of the mysterious.

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For Listeners

Whether you’re curious about how great stories are built—or simply want to hear a mesmerizing, little-known mystery—this episode delivers laughs, uncanny tales, and inspiration for creatives of all stripes.

Don’t miss:

• Tom's lost wallet saga ([05:48–08:12])
• Exclusive mysterious story about a haunted flight ([24:06–33:53])
• Alien life debates and philosophical speculation ([34:00–38:29])
• Behind the scenes of “Bad Thoughts” and a sneak peek at Tom’s upcoming film ([38:29–end])

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Transcript

[Mr. Ballin]

Hey, prime members, you can binge eight new episodes of the Mr. Ballin podcast one month early and all episodes ad.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Free on Amazon Music.

[Mr. Ballin]

Download the Amazon music app today.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

All right, today is a very special episode. I'm actually trying out a brand new format, but don't worry, it is not in replace of core Mr. Ballin content. This is in addition to. So we're calling it storytime with Mr. Ballin. And I'm gonna be interviewing a guest. I've never done that before on any of my shows. This is the first of its kind and it's gonna be really good. We're gonna look at the art of storytelling, how my guest employs storytelling. We're gonna tell some stories because of course, it wouldn't be a Mr. Ballin production if there wasn't actual storytelling. And in fact, I'm gonna be telling a story that I've never shared anywhere. It's a really good story. So that's gonna happen today too. And our guest is incredible. He's got movies coming out. He's doing standup specials left and right. He also happens to be a fan of the strange, dark and mysterious. And I'm really excited to talk to him about the art of storytelling, swapping some stories and just seeing what he's all about. So without further ado, let's get into today's stories.

[Tom Segura]

This is story time with Mr. Ballin. I'm Tom Segura.

[Mr. Ballin]

The show is brought to you by Progressive, fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Are you searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer? The new Audible original from Lilly Chiu. The phenomenally talented Philippa Hsu returns to narrate her fifth Lily Chu title. This time, Philippa is joined by her real life husband, Steven Pasquale. Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA The Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down in her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and inf. Infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsomer Tom, welcome to.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Storytime with Mr. Ballin.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Thank you for being on the show. And for those who somehow don't know who Tom Segura is, you are arguably one of the hottest comedians, both physically and career wise, in the game.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

You are acting, producing, directing. You are seriously everywhere right now. And one of the things that I noticed about your sort of performance across mediums is that you really are, like, a remarkably good storyteller.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

You really have, like, nailed the art of storytelling, even though oftentimes when you tell stories, it's sort of. It seems sort of effortless.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

But I mean, is that. Were you ever sort of intentional about, like, threading being a storyteller into your work?

[Tom Segura]

I love storytelling. I've always loved storytelling. I've always been, like, very hyper observant of good storytellers. My mom is, like, an amazing, natural storyteller. She has all the gifts that you need for great storytelling. And my dad was as bad as you can get at telling a story. Like, the single worst storyteller. A toddler tells better stories. And so I think it actually helped to be like, oh, shit, that's really good. And like, God, that was so bad. He would be like, I was in the store, and then the guy punched the guy, so cops are there. And you're like, wait, where? What happened? And, like, her version of that story would be like, there was a hundred people in line. Which, you know, is an exaggeration, but, like, that's part of storytelling, right? Where to punch something up.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

And she was like, and it was hot. And this man walked in and he looked dirty. His head was hanging. So she's, like, painting a picture, and you're like, yeah. And then the other guy, he said, move. And you're talking to my dad. You're like, what about. Oh, yeah, that guy. That's the main guy of the story.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

You missed it.

[Tom Segura]

You don't have any. Think of. Oh, yeah, yeah. Then he. All right, he's dirty. It's like just none of it. Like, none of the information, leaving out all the key information. Whereas she was, like, a naturally dramatic storyteller, heightening parts of the story, drawing you in, telling, like, adding color. Right. And then, like, knowing when to pull the pin on the whole. Like, just, like, natural. What you realize is, like, when you're, like, beginning as a comic, telling stories is actually. It's kind of advanced to get people to come along on a story. It's. It's. You don't see, like, year one, year two comics like, oh, he's a great storyteller. It's short form. It's like. Cause you're also. You're just not. You can't manufacture being a comfortable comic. It happens because you've done it thousands of times. And you have to have a level of comfortability to be like, I'm gonna tell you stories.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

So do you have, like, either a favorite or a go to story that you would use on stage? And it's a joke, but, like, a story that you love to tell?

[Tom Segura]

Probably the lost wallet story, because that's a true story. It's about a guy named Justin, right? A guy who lost his wallet in a cab. And the story is that I'm sharing the cab with a woman, and she finds the wallet in between us, asks if it's mine. I say, it's not, and she's going to give it to the driver. And I go, no, give it to me. I'll give it back to its rightful owner. And all this happened. I mean, this was in Adams Morgan in D.C. and then I took it upon myself that I'm gonna return this wallet to its owner. Like, this righteous, kind of feel good, do the right thing path that I'm gonna. And I announced it. So now I feel even more obligated. And I went through a number of, like, I put a lot of time into getting this wallet back to this guy. Yeah, I do call a bunch of places. I use all the information I can find in it. The only person I get ahold of is this guy's father, Justin's dad. And when I tell him I have the wallet, he's just like, he's not gonna amount to anything. What? He's like, he's a piece of shit. And I go, okay, can I give you the wallet? And he hung up the phone. And so that was, like, this kind of crazy, you know, closure to this of, like, the guys being like, my son sucks. And then a long while later, I'm at. I mean, I still remember it quite vividly. I'm at a lunch place on M Street in Georgetown, and I'm with my cousin. And we sat down, and we're just looking over the menu, catching up. And the waiter walks up and I go, justin. He's like, how do you know my name? And I go, dude, I have your wallet. And he's like, do you have it on you? I go, I don't walk around with your fucking wallet. No, I have my wallet, but I actually have your wallet. And he was like, oh, cool. You want something to drink? And I'm like, that's all you're gonna say about this? Dude, I found your wallet in a cab in Washington, D.C. it makes me crazy when somebody's reaction to something is like. And so I ended up telling him to come meet me, and he came to the door, and I was like, expecting, like, now we're gonna connect. I gave him the wallet, and he was like, cool, thanks. And then he turned around and walked away. And I was like, you're dad's right. Like, you're a piece of shit. And I shut the door.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

It's funny. Like, so even just now, like, the way you tell a story is you understand that there are aspects of the story that I need to appreciate. The context. Yes. So that the story matters. And so, like, that you just. You turned it into, like.

[Tom Segura]

Context is like, the biggest thing of joke telling, too. Sometimes. Like, you watch. I watch Comedians that you go like, man, that's really funny. Why isn't that working? Like, why doesn't it work? Because it's not that it's not funny. And then you go like, oh, you haven't. You need to convey more information at the top, at the setup for that observation and joke to work. Like, they don't understand what the joke is about yet. The only reason you don't know what the joke is about is because you haven't set it up clearly. Like, you need context for it to be funny.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

I gotta ask you, dude, like, how are you able to do all of these things? I mean, right now you're doing standup specials on Netflix. Like, you have a thousand of those. You have your amazing new show, Bad Thoughts. It's this incredible sketch comedy show on Netflix. And the way I would describe it is, like, it starts one way each of these sketches, and it's beautiful cinematography, and you have a sense of where it's going to go. Right. And then it just takes the most ridiculous detour into just a. Just crazy territory. And it reminds me of. There's this story by Edgar Allan Poe called the Imp of the Perverse. And I'm not going to get into it, but the gist of the story is, like, he writes about this guy who. He commits murder. It's a fictional story. It's this guy, he commits murder and he gets away with it. And he can't believe he's gotten away with murder. And so he becomes obsessed with this idea that like, he got away with it to the point where he's like, I gotta tell someone I got away with murder. And he begins talking about it and he eventually gets himself caught and he gets executed. And it's like this notion from that story that we all have these like thoughts that are self destructive.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

That like you're standing on the edge of a building and your fear is not that you'll fall, it's that you might jump.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

And I feel like your show, Bad Thoughts, it sort of encapsulates like the worst intrusive, bad thought that somebody in that scene could, could act on. And they do. And it just takes it to this extreme level. Like, how are you coming up with these stories?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, well, thank you very much for that. I, I do appreciate it. I, I've always felt this thing and I think it, it's part of the release that you feel in comedy, right. When you go to, A lot of times you go to a show and the big thing is people go, well, what is it about? It's like, well, he says the thing that we all want to say, right. Or the comedian does in some way. And that's like such a release for an audience that like they're saying it, they're saying the thoughts are so relatable. And I've always felt like that thing that. I know, I feel that human beings, we all have dark thoughts, Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. Right. And part of it is like on an individual basis, part of it's societal norms where you just, you have your thought but you don't act on it. Right. I mean, and then you just try to like process it. And then, you know, social media, I think is this great example of like, oh, these are things that nobody will say to your face. Right. But it's like this permission to like and let. And it's probably, it's a release for people to be able to be like, I fucking hate you. Like, cool. That's really cool because they'll never say it to you. Right. And so in, like in coming up with these stories, it's like, you know, the Coffee Shop one was one of the, was the first thing we shot a few years back. I actually filmed a few of the stories a few years. That's how I got the show. And so Coffee Shop One was one of the original ones we filmed before we had a series. Oh, nice. And so, but that is like an example of, it's like, wish everyone has had a bad retail experience, right. Where you're like, I Just want to fucking kill this person. And then it was like, why don't we just make that? Like, why don't we have the person deserve, you know, backlash in some way and just take it over the top? So we just went to an extreme place on it and it's the one that got the by far, I think the biggest reaction where people were like writing things to me like, yo, they deserved. And like, cool. Yeah, they did. They deserve to die for the bad coffee order. But yeah, that's a fun, you know, kind of way to exercise the thoughts is like, what if we think of the thing we've always wanted to say or do or the impulse in that moment and actually act? Yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

So actually I saw in one of your earliest standup specials, it was completely normal that some of these ideas that popped up in Bad Thoughts, like the Steven Seagal bit and the Barista 1, the two headed girl, it's like those stories become fully realized in Bad Thoughts. But it seems like you at least had some concepts early on.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, some of them have been sitting with me for a while. Yeah, yeah. Or even like the origin, the nugget of the thing that became something else. Like there's a, the whole reason the storyline of the, you know, the virtual reality guy, it's so good.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

That's the second episode, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Cause it's a three part story, right?

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

It's so good.

[Tom Segura]

So there's the office where he gets like disrespected, then he creates the video game, then you reveal that it's a game. And then there's the, the part three where it's like he's become this successful guy. Well, in part two where he's like, we need to sit on that toilet together. The origin, like the whole reason, like what makes me laugh is that the origin of that, the reason that that even exists is I've always loved upsetting my mother. Right. And I know there's things that she doesn't want to ever talk about and one of them is going to the bathroom. Right. She just doesn't want to. So I try to say it as much as possible. That's good. And few years, like several years ago, I would do father son trips with my dad, like where I was a working adult. But I was like, he was like, you know, let's plan something. We'd go spend like two, three days in Portland, Maine or something, you know, and then I'd go back to la. But we've been doing those trips for years. And like even 25, 30 years ago, I was a teenager or whatever. I would go on a trip, like, with my dad. I get back and my mom was like, how was the weekend? And I would go, well, you know, it was great. And I go, you know, this one day, I go, you know, dad was taking a shit. And she'd go, I don't want to hear this. And I go, no, no, no. This is. This is actually. She goes, I don't want to hear this. I go, it's not what you think. She's like, okay.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

What?

[Tom Segura]

I would go, so dad was taking this shit. And she'd be like, okay. And I go, you know how when you sit on a toilet, there's like a gap between your legs? And she'd go, yeah. I go, so I had to go. And so I sat in that gap, and we went at the same time. And she'd be like, what the hell is wrong? And so I would do that to her, like, every couple years, I would tell her the same thing. She would never remember that I'd already told her that.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Oh, you used this joke.

[Tom Segura]

I would use that exact thing that we went to the bathroom at this. She was like, this is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. And I basically wrote a story where I was like, how can I incorporate going to the bath? So the bathroom. And that's where we created the portal world. But it's all based on that.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Do you have any concepts, material that you do come back to that? You think about that. That could work, but you don't. You haven't employed it in a public way yet.

[Tom Segura]

There is this thing where sometimes you go, you know, I've tried things and abandoned them. And then you find that, like, five or ten years later, you go, oh, there was that joke. You're like, I'm gonna try. Ten years have gone by, so I'm naturally gonna have, like, some difference in my approach to saying it or telling it. And. And it's one of those things where sometimes you go like, holy shit, that works now. Like, it needed to marinate for a decade, but it is. I think you learn to listen. You listen to yourself, right? It's like. It's kind of like you're. You're guiding voice internally, right? Of like. It's equivalent to, like, don't walk down that hallway, you know? Like, I think the thing you have to work on if you're doing this is learning how to listen to that, listen to yourself. Like, hey, man, don't ignore those thoughts. I used to think that laziness Meant not getting up on stage. But what I learned is that laziness in comedy, like in stand up, is about all the times you're not on stage. You can get on stage every night and still be a lazy comic. You know, you're lazy if you don't spend some time kind of exploring your own thoughts, jotting down that thing, thinking about, like, that think that's the work. You know, the work is in those. All that time before you get on stage. And so it's. It's. It kind of surprises you. Someone could be like, you're not lazy. You're. You're doing spots all the time. You're like, no, you're still lazy because you're not doing anything off stage. I mean, one thing that's very clear is you see comedians who are stuck. You know, like, they're like, I feel stuck here. I'm not evolving. I would bet almost everything that a lot of the people saying that are the ones who are not trying things. Not. Not. It's like, not doing. You always need, like, new. Something new. New is what makes it exciting and moving. And so it's very easy to fall into that. Like, you figure out 20 minutes that work or whatever.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

And you go, I'm just gonna do that because it works, because you get fear of, like, what if I.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

True.

[Tom Segura]

Leave that and I try to come up with new stuff, and the new stuff doesn't hit like that. But then the worst thing happens, which is that that 20 minutes that works just starts to weigh on you because it's not exciting or new in any way, and then you slowly kind of die inside. That's why you kind of always want to turn things over. Like, I feel like you shoot something or you record a special, and then you just go, I'm done with it, and I need to come up with more. And then your brain just kind of, you know, you generate more because of the necessity.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

The idea of, like, working on material, like going up on stage to a live audience and not even telling them you're doing this, but, like, trying a new minute or whatever.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Is that something that you do? I mean.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, that's. I mean, that's the part you get addicted to, really. That's the whole drive of doing standup. It's thinking of something and going, I'm going to try this on stage. And then the build of anxiety of will this work or won't this work? The absolute. The euphoria that you feel when it does work is, like, unlike any other feeling. Which is why I think comedians will do it into their 90s if they live. And then the absolute gutting depression you feel when it doesn't is like, so. It's so powerful that you realize the only way to overcome that feeling is to try something again and hopefully get the other reaction.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Wow. So I can only speak to my limited. I'm not stand up comedy, but I've done stand up storytelling.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, if you, if you have, you spoke in front of an audience. Yeah, yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

But so in my world, I already know the conclusion of all the stories. I know exactly where it's going to go. I remember I had one show that I did and the audience was literally like, so respectful. It was difficult for me to like get into the story because they're like so proper, so nice, so quiet. The other crowds were like really reacting to stuff and it made it so difficult to do the same stories I had rehearsed. I can't imagine having the blow of them being like, dude, what was that? And then getting up and doing it again.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. And the, the thing is, there are audiences even sometimes in stand up shows. Like, you don't expect it, but you get, it's not like every crowd's the same. Sometimes you get these very reserved crowds where you're like, used to people with a lot of energy and they're just like clapping at the end the bit and you're like, Jesus. The thing you learn over time is when an audience isn't super high energy or you go like, this audience sucks. Essentially. You don't go, hey, when you're starting out, you're like, why do you guys suck? Because you don't realize that sometimes. And this is, is true, that audience that was just like, they weren't high energy, they had a great time. Like, you don't, you don't realize it until you've done this a while that, like, you'll finish that show. And you go, what the was that? And then you run into people and they're like, that, I had the best time at that. And you're like, wow. Really? Because what happens is an audience, for the most part, they don't, they're not referencing this show to thousands of other shows. You are like, you know that they're down here on the list of audiences. They don't know that that's true. They're just like, like, this might be the first show they've gone to in like three years. And they're like, this was a great time. Well, and they'll become aware if you tell them so, you're like, just so you know, you suck. And they're like, I thought we were having a good time. They just don't have that, like, level of energy now. The next night, you could be in a venue where it is just like fireworks.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And, and, and those ones. You almost want to tell them, like, you guys are unbelievable. Like, they don't. I don't know if you know this, but you're insanely good. Yeah.

[Charli Webster]

Candice Rivera has it all. In just three years, she went from stay at home mom to traveling the world, saving lives and making millions. Anyone would think Candice is charm. Life is about as real as unicorns. But sometimes the truth is even harder to believe than the lies.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Not true. There's so many things not true. You gotta believe me.

[Charli Webster]

I'm Charli Webster and this is Unicorn Girl, an Apple original podcast produced by Seven Hills. Follow and listen on Apple Podcasts.

[Hellman's Mayo Narrator]

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[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

I know that you are a consumer of the strange, dark, and mysterious.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

So it wouldn't be a Mr. Bollen episode if I didn't tell you a story. Yes. And so we actually looked for a story that would specifically resonate with you.

[Tom Segura]

And I'm so excited.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

And I also, I. We even the way we got the story, this is the context part. This story isn't really on the Internet. Like, we heard references to it and we tried to find the source material for it, but we couldn't. Like, we literally looked. We couldn't find it. It's a story out of Mexico. And so we finally had our Spanish language researcher track down this. This library in Mexico that had a copy of this story. There was a very unique recording and transcript, and it's being stored, like, locally at this library in Mexico. And so the way to access the stories, you can't just like contact the library. You have to write them a letter to get access to this story. To hear a story, to just read the transcript. To read a transcript in the story, it's the story without the transcript. Not really a good story. You need the transcript. You'll see. So we followed their steps. We contact the library and we get access to the story. And they're like very weary of what we're gonna do with it. But they're like, okay, be careful with this one, right? Cause it's like a sensitive story for Mexico.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, so that's the setup.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

So this is, by the way, let's just stop.

[Tom Segura]

Great setup, great setup. I mean, I don't know where this is gonna go. It's good, but I'm fucking in, dude. I mean, you just, you set up like a bond story pretty good. I had to like request access through fucking headquarters to hear a story.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Okay, so In June of 1976, there's this 23 year old kid named Rafael Perez. And he's training to be a pilot. And he's flying, he flies his training missions, if you will. He's a civilian, so he flies his training flights out of this airport in Chimalacan, Mexico. It's about three hours inland from Acapulco. And this kid, he's flown many times, but always with another pilot. So he's learning how to fly a small plane, like a Cessna. And on this day in June, he's gonna fly on his own for the first time. The flight profile was very simple. You're gonna take off like you always have, fly in a loop, come back and land. Nothing more to it. You're basically demonstrating you can do it without panicking on your own. And keep in mind, in 1976, the controls, the instruments inside of the aircrafts were pretty rudimentary. Like they didn't have GPS systems. It was sort of like you had like your compass and you had your altimeter. But honestly, a lot of flying was literally dead reckoning, like looking out the window and just seeing where you were, right? So he takes off at 9:15am, it's June 23rd of 1976. He takes off and right away he notices that it's very foggy and this is something he knew on the ground, but from a dead reckoning perspective looking out the window. He's got limited access to reference points on the ground. So he really has not really a good sense of where he is. He's using his instruments and he's sort of guessing when he's supposed to make this turn to bank around to come in and land. But on his approach back to the airport, he's successfully done this flight. He can't quite find the airport. Like, he's struggling to see it. But at a certain point, based on his instruments, he realizes he's off course, he's lost. And so he tries calling in with a radio back to the control tower to be like, I'm lost. I can let you know it's going to take me a minute. He doesn't really hear back from them. It's sort of garbled static. And then he realizes, oh, I need to fly back left. I need to go left. So he takes the yoke, the steering wheel, and he tries to bank the airplane left. But the airplane doesn't go left. It just continues flying level at 7,000ft in a straight line. And he's thinking, okay, there's clearly some sort of issue here. It's okay. He's not panicking. He hops in the radio and he says, hey, I'm having some issues. I can't. I can't go left. He tried going right. Nothing's affecting the plane. It's flying straight at 7,000ft. He hops on the radio, he starts talking like, what do I do here? I can't do anything to my plane. And as he's trying to get ahold of anybody who's not getting back in touch with him, but we have his voice being recorded into this radio. The plane actually begins to climb, and he's not pulling back on the yoke. He's not making the plane climb. The plane is climbing on its own. And so it begins to climb. And the way the fog and mist was, is there was like, this big, like, huge cloud that he was basically flying into. So he's ascending up to, like, 8, 9, 10,000ft. He can't go left, can't go right. He's just going straight up into this cloud. And so he can't see anything. He's, like, in a void. He's totally panicked now. He can't get a hold of anybody on the radio about the time he's totally obscured in the clouds. He feels this overwhelming tiredness come over him. And he passes out, just passes out in the cockpit. He wakes up in the cockpit, has no idea how long he's been asleep for. Could have been a second, could have been days. But he's immediately shocked that, holy cow, I did not crash the plane. Like, I know I just fell asleep in the plane. But a couple things immediately become clear to him. First of all, his plane's still flying. He's still in the air, he's still coasting along, right? But he's, he's back down to 7000ft. He was climbing before, now he's back down to 7000ft. He also looks out the window and there's no more mist or fog or anything like that. It's actually just the open ocean underneath him. And immediately he thinks to himself, I took off from this airport, that's three hours inland from the coast if I went in a straight line. And he looks at his clock and it says 11:30, took off at 9, 15, 10, 15, 11:15. So 2 hours and 15 minutes from the time he took off. I'm doing the math right, it's below three hours. What body of water am I over? The amount of time that has transpired that apparently I was asleep for is not enough time for me to arrive over any body of water that flashes through his mind. In addition to that, he looks at his gas gauge and it's at 3/4 tank. And he knew that not only is that way too high, but he wouldn't have had, even if he had three hours, he wouldn't have had enough gas to reach any water body. So wouldn't had enough gas, but have 3 quarter tank of gas also. Again, how did I get here? I have no idea how I got here. Has no idea where he is. And as he's like coming to, like, what's happening here? Somebody chimes in over the radio and goes, hey, hey, are you there? And he grabs his radio and he's like, he's totally frantic. He's like, hey, I fell asleep in my plane, I don't know where I am. And there's a pause. And this is all recorded. There's a pause. And the guy on the other end, he introduces himself sort of cautiously. He's like, hey, this is Carlos. Are you alone in your airplane? And Raphael's like, of course I'm alone. Like, where am I? I think I fell asleep. I don't know what's going on. And Carlos, his reaction is just sort of, okay, well listen, here's what we're going to do. You're just off the coast of Acapulco and for the last hour you've been flying out over the water. He just kind of showed up, right? And by the way, going back to the timeline, he arrived off the coast of Acapulco now an hour earlier. That was 10:30 in the morning took off at 9:15. Takes three hours to get there. He apparently did it in about an hour and 15 minutes. So he's circling over the water, and Carlos is like, hey, just come into the airport where I am going to get you in there, you're going to land, and we'll talk to you then. And so Raphael is just happy to be alive at this point. He comes in, he lands at the airport in Aapoco. And as soon as he gets off, there's these people in suits that are there to meet him. And they immediately take him, they detain him, put him in like a black car. He's asking what's going on. Nobody knows. They don't tell him. And they drive him to a hospital. And he's the whole time saying, I'm so sorry about the craft. Please tell, like, the where I flew out of that I'm sorry about the craft. I hope it's not damaged. They bring him to the hospital, they drug test him right away, he's not on drugs, he's sober. And they also have a psychologist come in and they give him a profile, make sure he's sane. And she determines that he is. And so the whole time, Raphael has no idea what's happening. He doesn't know what they're doing. He doesn't understand any of this. And so finally they say, okay, we're going to tell you what happened. So when you showed up off the coast of acapulco at about 10:30 in the morning, which no one understands, how you got there, it's not possible, you showed up on the radar screen of who you were talking to Carlos, the air traffic control guy, and he talked to you for an hour while you were out over the water. That whole time you were circling, you were talking to him, and it was recorded. And I'm going to read to you the first thing that Rafael said to Carlos, and you're going to see in a minute why Carlos first question when Rafael came to was, is there somebody else in the plane? He said in a very deep, almost robotic voice. When Carlos saw this blip on his radar at 10:30, said, hey, who is this? You're flying over Acapulco's coast. What's going on here? The voice came back and said, the pilot is speaking, but not of his own free will. We are using him as a microphone. Your equipment is too primitive. It is not important who we are or where we come from, only that we are inhabitants of the same universe. For the next 30 to 45 minutes, the voice being projected through Raphael talked about, humanity is the only intelligent species in the entire universe that uses warfare and conducts violence on each other. And you are poised for a nuclear holocaust, and you may be exterminated if this continues. And then at about 11:30, Raphael wakes up and his voice changed completely. And he's like, oh, what's going on? I think I fell asleep at the wheel. And that's why Carlos is like, wait a minute. I've been talking to you for an hour. He's like, there's somebody else in the craft with you. Right. No one has any idea how Rafael wound up over the coast. They examined his plane. Nothing wrong with this plane. It really was. Three quarter tanks of gas. Didn't make sense. How it got there, nobody knows. Rafael has no idea how he got there. And the Mexican government quickly took this story, buried it, and now you can only access it in this obscure library in Mexico.

[Tom Segura]

That's a great story. That's a great story.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

So what's your take on what happened?

[Tom Segura]

First of all, great job telling the story.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, there is only one summary you could get. You know, either this is like a. I guess it's two. It's either a bipolar schizophrenic who is having a pretty crazy episode, or there's another being involved, which is more exciting, more entertaining, because we're in the era now of the government being like, yeah, we have. We have stuff.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

UFOs are real.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And we have aliens. And they've been here and other places have them, too. And most people just go, oh, cool. Like, the thing that we used to make a movie about is being like, can you imagine if there were aliens? And everybody was go like, that would be wild. And then now we're like, yeah, we have them. And everyone's like, yeah, it's very strange, right? Like that. There's, like, congressional testimony. I know about aliens. Nobody's heart even skipped a beat. I thought we would all stop and be like, no way. Nobody cares.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

I know some of the footage that's been released, that some of the videos of these apparent UFOs.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

I mean, either it's an incredible CGI, which is entirely possible, but I think the idea that there's this, like, widespread conspiracy by the government to, like, what. Dupes into believing that maybe there are. That these aren't real or something. It doesn't make any sense to me.

[Tom Segura]

No, doesn't.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Do you believe in aliens? I mean, extraterrestrials, life outside of humans.

[Tom Segura]

So for me, it was always like, when you have. And I don't even have the full comprehension of it, but when you have some grasp of the idea of the size of our galaxies in the universe, it becomes for me, it just always felt like too arrogant to be like, it's just us.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Yes. I stand with you firmly on that point.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And then like, I think the natural thing is that you just become naturally more curious. You know, my wife is a huge like, dude, it's all day. She's like, you know what this guy just said about UAPs? I'm like, I don't know. And she gives me like, she'll read back the transcript from like the senator. And I'm like, wow, that's pretty wild.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

That's pretty good.

[Tom Segura]

But honestly, it's made me realize that it is a more exciting thing to like.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Of course it is.

[Tom Segura]

Think about and talk about. And then, I mean, I think the natural thing is like, it feels like it's almost like being crumbed out for us. You're like, yeah, but where's the next thing? Right? Like, when are we going to see or hear from something? You know, like you just want more that point.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Exactly. I think it was Neil Degrasse Tyson who gave this example. I don't know if it was him, the astrophysicist guy. He was like, humans think that if there were alien life, extraterrestrial life on Earth, that effectively we believe we could just simply identify it, that we would view it as like a three dimensional being, let's say.

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

But he was like, think of it this way. What are the odds? Or I should say, when you walk down the street and there is a ant on the ground, are you like, I want to get down there and talk to that ant, Right?

[Tom Segura]

No, no.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

You might step on the ant, you might not even notice the ant. Go even lower than that to like algae. Are you like looking to communicate with algae?

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

What's to say that we are not equivalent to an ant or algae to other beings? Suggesting if there were higher beings on this planet, it's very arrogant to say we would simply, one, they'd be interested in us. Are you interested in algae? Or two, that we could even recognize them as anything close to what we are. Algae and humans couldn't be more different.

[Mr. Ballin]

In terms of their makeup.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

And so it's like they could absolutely be here, but they're four dimensional.

[Tom Segura]

Imagine the aliens watching, like they're just like trying to figure out and they just pull up this clip and they're just like, look at these two fucking ants, like talking about the dumbest shit. We want to waste our time with these morons, dude. They also. That there's also the theory that it becomes, you know, it feels like fantasy. But I don't know, you can let your mind kind of embrace the idea that certain humans. You're like, that's a reptilian. Like, you know, I mean like that's an like these evil, like these like innately evil seeming people and. And I don't know that they're already here. You're like, it's kind of fun to. To play with that idea.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

I like to believe, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I do. Fun. It's fun.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

So for you, I mean I. You've been successful in so many different mediums. You know, you just got renewed for season two of Bad Thoughts, which is amazing. You've sort of done like all of it. What's the next chapter like? You described evolving. I mean you've done a lot of that. What's next?

[Tom Segura]

Honestly, it's. I mean I keep doing as many of those things as you can and then it's. I have a movie this summer I'm really excited to do. I've always loved movies. Like, I'm a huge fan of cinema. Yeah. And so for me it's like I feel like I won the lottery where I get to. I'm like, I get to do a movie. This is so awesome. I'm so excited to do it.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Can you tell us anything about the movie?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I mean it's a cartel comedy. I get to play more than one character. I get to play two characters. Which is like. Just feels insane that they're allowing me to do this. And it's really, really funny script as it's so ridiculous. And it's an R rated comedy. Yeah, it's wild. It's wild. It's fun. But it also has like a lot to me, like the thing that I loved about great comedies growing up, especially like R rated comedies.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Was like you almost take the comedies for granted. The comedic parts of it. It's like you have to have great story supporting the like it's almost like you go like, I know this is going to be funny, but is the story a good story?

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I think this is a really good story that has like great dynamics, great characters and it's outrageously funny. But you still care for this main character. And I mean I'm talking to you about six weeks before we shoot. I hope they'll definitely cut this up and play it if we make a piece of shit.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

It's going to be so good.

[Tom Segura]

But I'm very excited to do it. I'm so excited. So that's, to me, like, the most exciting thing about, like, what's next? I'm like, I'm so, so stoked to do this. I've always been. I moved to LA when I was 22, thinking that, like, I'm gonna have a movie career and I'm 46.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Crushing it, dude.

[Tom Segura]

I'm gonna do a movie. Yeah. So I'm excited.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Well, dude, congratulations. And seriously, you need to check out bad thoughts on Netflix. Season two is very exciting. I look forward to your movie. You're the man, dude. Thank you so much. Appreciate it, man.

[Tom Segura]

It was a lot of fun.

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Mr. Ballin]

Hey, prime members, you can binge eight new episodes of the Mr. Ballin podcast one month early and all episodes ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon music app today. And before you go, please tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail].

[Mr. Ballin (Host)]

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