Mall Santa Sorting Hat (OOTP Chapter 11, The Sorting Hat’s New Song)

Summary

Episode Summary: MuggleCast - "Mall Santa Sorting Hat" (OOTP Chapter 11, The Sorting Hat’s New Song)

Release Date: January 14, 2025

MuggleCast, your weekly deep dive into the Wizarding World, celebrates its 20th anniversary by embarking on a chapter-by-chapter re-read of the original seven Harry Potter books. In this episode, the hosts—Micah, Eric, and Laura—delve into Chapter 11 of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", titled "The Sorting Hat’s New Song." This episode explores the nuances of the new Sorting Hat song, character dynamics, and overarching themes within the chapter.

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1. Introduction and Announcements

The episode kicks off with the hosts humorously reflecting on their 20-year milestone, mimicking the playful spirit of Fred and George Weasley. Micah mentions the podcast's longevity, stating, "It's our 20th year of podcasting..." (00:44).

Patreon Support: Micah encourages listeners to support the podcast via Patreon, highlighting exclusive benefits such as bonus episodes and unfiltered content.

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2. Revisiting Chapter 11: The Sorting Hat’s New Song

a. Reading the Excerpt

Laura begins by reading an excerpt that contrasts Harry's perception of the Thestrals with Ron's inability to see them:

"Harry had once before had the experience of seeing something that Ron could not, but that had been a reflection in a mirror. Something much more insubstantial than a hundred very solid looking beasts strong enough to pull a fleet of carriages." (05:37)

b. Analyzing Themes of Death and Perception

The hosts discuss how death intertwines with the ability to perceive hidden truths. Laura notes:

"Death is a theme in both of these areas with Thestrals and the Mirror of Erised." (05:55)

Eric adds that Harry's unique experiences isolate him, referencing:

"It's never a good feeling when you can see something someone else can't." (07:04)

c. Hagrid's Teaching and Luna's Perspective

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Hagrid's role as a teacher. Luna criticizes Hagrid, stating:

"He's a terrible teacher." (08:17)

The hosts explore the tension between Hagrid's popularity among some students and his lack of approval from Ravenclaw students, highlighting the divide between different Hogwarts houses.

d. The Sorting Hat’s New Song

Laura points out intriguing details from the new song, such as the friendship between Gryffindor and Slytherin founders:

"Details like the fact that Gryffindor and Slytherin were besties, apparently, which is really hard to imagine." (13:12)

Eric concurs, reflecting on the founders' complexities:

"The four founders were all friends with each other, but this one pairs them off." (16:31)

e. Sentience and Autonomy of the Sorting Hat

The conversation shifts to the Sorting Hat's sentience. Eric speculates:

"I don't want to rob the Hat of autonomy. I think it's impressive that the Founders made the Hat its own sort of sentient being." (21:00)

Laura raises questions about the hat's free will:

"The sorting hat is able to do things like break from tradition to give warnings that it is also able to take choice into account when it's sorting the students." (22:58)

Micah humorously suggests the Sorting Hat should be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame due to its prolific songwriting:

"I would like to advocate then, for the Sorting Hat to be in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame." (26:37)

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3. Umbridge's Speech and Its Impact

Dolores Umbridge's insufferable speech interrupts Dumbledore's address, leading to widespread disengagement among students. Laura analyzes her tactics:

"Her entire speech is like double speak... it's intended to be intentionally difficult to track and follow and understand." (28:25)

Eric remarks on Dumbledore's constrained response:

"He cannot be seen to then immediately try and warn the student body about her or anything." (34:02)

The hosts discuss how Umbridge's facade masks her true sinister intentions, making her acceptance within Hogwarts all the more alarming.

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4. Seamus and Harry's Conflict

A heated exchange arises between Seamus and Harry when Seamus confronts Harry about his mother's negative perception influenced by the Daily Prophet. Laura explains:

"Seamus feels betrayed... Harry's been picked and prodded at the entire summer and like I think there is a world in which Harry would take the time and actually explain it, but he's tired of answering." (40:40)

Eric suggests that miscommunication and external influences exacerbate their conflict:

"The Ministry is unwilling to acknowledge that things are as bad as they are. And if they just told people, then we could all be facing the real challenge ahead of us." (42:45)

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5. Neville's Support for Harry

Neville Longbottom stands up for Harry, echoing themes of loyalty and friendship. Laura highlights Neville's mature response:

"Each time Neville's Gran shows up in these books, you just see that she is a no nonsense woman who has her head on straight." (47:46)

Micah adds that Neville's unwavering support underscores the importance of solidarity among friends:

"Showing Harry he doesn't always have the support of those within his own house." (41:11)

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6. The Sorting Hat's Parting Wisdom

Before Umbridge's speech, the Sorting Hat delivers a poignant message urging unity:

"The hat sees everything it sees. One, you know, perhaps parting message... get along. Like, figure out how you can work together despite the fact that I'm splitting you all up." (19:01)

The hosts interpret this as a foreshadowing of the challenges ahead, emphasizing collaboration over division.

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7. Links Line Discussion

In the Links line segment, listeners share their thoughts on improving Hogwarts' curriculum amidst Umbridge's reforms. Key suggestions include:

• Divination: Implementing a grading rubric to reduce subjectivity.

  "The grading of divination seems extremely subjective and would probably benefit from some sort of grading rubric." (53:18)

• Flying Lessons: Introducing instructional classes with safety protocols before actual flying.

  "The first year's flying lesson should be reformed a bit. They should go through an instructional class first..." (54:02)

• Transfiguration: Expanding practical applications and real-world relevance.

  "What use is this to the wider world? Can we make more worthy reasons to use transfiguration?" (55:05)

• Health Classes: Introducing health education to teach basic remedies and magical body's care.

  "A class on basic remedies and treatments would benefit students." (56:30)

• Potions: Addressing safety concerns and Snape's ineffective teaching methods.

  "Snape may be a highly skilled wizard in potion making, but there should be no room for bullying in the classroom." (60:47)

• History of Magic: Making lessons more engaging through interactive methods and guest speakers.

  "If the teacher was engaged in the lessons and brought in goblins or people that study history in the magical world, it could be super fun." (62:31)

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8. Quiz Segment: Quizzage

The hosts engage listeners with a trivia question related to the Wizarding World's media:

"This week's quizzic question was inspired by the Quibbler... the correct answer is the Daily Mail." (66:09)

They announce next week's question, encouraging continued listener participation.

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9. Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with promotions for their other podcasts, merchandise, and Patreon benefits. The hosts express gratitude to their listeners and tease upcoming content, maintaining the engaging and community-driven spirit of MuggleCast.

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Notable Quotes:

• Micah on 20-Year Milestone:
  "It's our 20th year of podcasting..." (00:44)

• Laura on Sorting Hat's Friendship with Slytherin:
  "Details like the fact that Gryffindor and Slytherin were besties, apparently, which is really hard to imagine." (13:12)

• Eric on Sorting Hat's Autonomy:
  "I think it's impressive that the Founders made the Hat its own sort of sentient being." (21:00)

• Laura on Umbridge's Double Speak:
  "Her entire speech is like double speak... it's intended to be intentionally difficult to track and follow and understand." (28:25)

• Micah on Neville's Support:
  "Showing Harry he doesn't always have the support of those within his own house." (41:11)

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This episode of MuggleCast offers an in-depth analysis of Chapter 11, blending literary critique with lively discussions on character dynamics and thematic elements. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the podcast, this summary encapsulates the essence of the hosts' exploration into the intricate world of Harry Potter.

Transcript

[Eric]

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[Laci Mosley]

I'm Laci Mosley.

[Eric]

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[Laci Mosley]

They call me Scam Goddess. I'm going on a journey across America to dive into small town swindles.

[Eric]

How can you not trust this local.

[Laci Mosley]

Farm girl and big city cons? He was pimping the congregation. People say that would never happen to me. Never say never. Scam Goddess series premiere January 15th on.

[Eric]

Freeform and stream on Hulu.

[Micah]

For 20 years and counting. Welcome to Mugglecast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I'm Micah.

[Eric]

I'm Eric.

[Laci Mosley]

And I'm Laura.

[Eric]

Why do I feel like Fred and George after trying the aging potion all of a sudden long gray beard as soon as Micah said it's our 20th year of podcasting and Andrew's just too.

[Micah]

Young and good looking to, I know to be here.

[Eric]

He was afraid of feeling old. So he's not here. But by next week I think we'll convince him to join us on the train again.

[Laci Mosley]

See, I thought he wasn't here because this was past his bedtime. Now maybe he is too old. You ever think about that?

[Eric]

There are many reasons, but needless to say, our fearless leader will return next week.

[Micah]

Yes. So we will do our best in his absence. And just a couple quick announcements to start off 2025 with us fluing into a new decade for our show, we could really use your support while we go chapter by chapter through the Harry Potter books and cover any and all news concerning the Harry Potter TV show. So visit patreon.commugglecast to pledge and enjoy instant access to lots of great benefits, including I wasn't ready for that bonus Mugglecast, which we have a new one which we will be recording right after our episode tonight. Speaking of the New year, all about New Year's resolutions and why don't they celebrate New Year's in the wizarding world? At least as far as we know. We never hear about it.

[Laci Mosley]

They don't make resolutions. They're not trying to be better.

[Eric]

I can think of a few characters who absolutely do not do resolutions. Dumbledore. A few others.

[Micah]

Makes sense. I was going to say Hogwarts just is beyond help when it comes to security. So they don't make any resolutions.

[Eric]

That's right.

[Micah]

But we do two of those every month for our patrons and they're always a lot of fun. Let's us unwind a little bit. Sometimes we get to do topics and we can say things because it's beyond a paywall.

[Eric]

That's Micah's favorite thing about it.

[Micah]

It really is. It's really all about me. Bonus Mugglecast and my ability to be totally unfiltered 100% of the time. But with that said, let's get back into chapter by chapter. It's been a couple weeks because it's been a year.

[Eric]

We haven't done chapter by chapter in a year, a calendar year.

[Micah]

So we will kick things off with Order of the Phoenix, chapter 11, the sorting hats new song. And Laura, are you going to sing the Sorting Hat's new song for us?

[Laci Mosley]

Singing is not one of my talents.

[Micah]

So no karaoke?

[Laci Mosley]

Nah. Not even songs. You really don't want it. I promise you.

[Micah]

What about a chapter analysis?

[Laci Mosley]

I can do that for you.

[Micah]

Okay.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah.

[Eric]

So I love that we're starting a new year of Hogwarts and starting a new year on the show as well.

[Laci Mosley]

Right.

[Eric]

Just for the listeners who might be curious, we last discussed this chapter, chapter 11, sorting Hat's new song, nearly 250 episodes ago. I'm just gonna keep saying things that make us feel old. That was on Mugglecast number 446 titled Going Rogue, which debuted on December 16, 2019. And here is. We have everyone's new favorite segment for the show, the Mugast Time Turner segment for that chapter. Three turns should do it, I think. Good luck.

[Laci Mosley]

What the.

[Eric]

Episode 446.

[Micah]

I liked what Nearly Headless Nick said about the hat being able to pick up things because it sits in Dumbledore's office. So I wonder if you prior to each year, does Dumbledore just kind of sit down with the hat and be like, hey, look, this is how it's going to go this year. And make sure you hit these points and I'll put you on like a really comfy pillow for the rest of the year. And I'll brush you, I'll wash you, I'll keep the office at your desired temperature. Oh my God.

[Eric]

I'll buy you another hat that you can hang out with so you can make.

[Micah]

You can make baby skull caps or something like that.

[Eric]

Oh my. When Two Hats Love each Other. Mysterious thing time. Fun talk about a family of hats.

[Laci Mosley]

Well, unfortunately we are going to dive into our chapter with a maybe not so fun talk about thestrals. Oh, I was wondering if I could get one of you to read this excerpt here at the beginning of the chapter.

[Eric]

Sure. Harry had once before had the experience of seeing something that Ron could not, but that had been a reflection in a mirror. Something much more insubstantial than a hundred very solid looking beasts strong enough to pull a fleet of carriages.

[Laci Mosley]

It is interesting that Harry in this moment feels that the Mirror of Erised was insubstantial by comparison because we have to remember what he was seeing in the mirror. He was seeing his dead family members, in particular his parents. And I thought this was a nice connecting the threads moment because death is a theme in both of these areas with Thestrals and the Mirror of Erised. But in both cases even though Ron can see the Mirror of Erised, he can't see what Harry sees. So it's, it's not quite that Harry has never experienced this before, it's just that Ron at least knew the Mirror of Erised existed.

[Eric]

Yeah, see it's interesting Laura, because I read this a slightly different way in that, you know, Harry sees the Thestrals and he's like these are solid looking, they're pulling a hundred carriages. I think I agree that reading it back right now it reads like he's saying man, Ron couldn't see the mirror. But that was a mirror. This is a hundred horse like beings.

[Laci Mosley]

Right.

[Eric]

But for me I thought for a minute there that it could just be that, that Harry realizes something is pulling the carriages like this gives some level of explanation to what wasn't there. It's never a good feeling when you can see something someone else can't. But something's pulling the car like it's solid. He finally has a piece of the puzzle that others don't see. But unfortunately it's not going to get any better for him because I'm thinking of the end of this book. Here's to connect the thread with the veil and the voices that he hears behind it that no one else hears except maybe Luna.

[Laci Mosley]

Luna and Jenny, Right?

[Eric]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Micah]

I think this is a bit of a bad comparison on Harry's part though because if, if I were him, I would liken it to hearing the basilisk in Chamber of Secrets. Right. That was something that nobody else.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Micah]

Could hear.

[Eric]

Harry, here's four other examples of when you were the only one that experienced something and your friends couldn't keep up.

[Micah]

So.

[Eric]

But yeah, it's a good point.

[Laci Mosley]

Well, once we're on the platform we find ourselves in a little bit of an awkward situation with our new friend Luna. Because the trio very quickly notices that Hagrid is not on the platform collecting first years to go across the lake. It's Professor Grubbly Plank. They're very concerned of course about where Hagrid is and Luna opines that hey, maybe hopefully he's left. He's a terrible teacher. And when Harry and Ron round on her she's like, oh, I'm kind of surprised that you like him. He's kind of a joke in Ravenclaw. So I'm just imagining the Ravenclaw sitting around the common room being petty as hell about Hagrid.

[Eric]

This is the Ravenclaw common room tonight once news spreads. It's funny because as much as this is shots fired and the characters have to go into defense mode for their friend Hagrid, notably Harry and Ron and Ginny, for some reason Hermione is like caught in the middle and doesn't immediately leap to Hagrid's defense. That said, Luna brings up, I think a valuable point which is that if the Ravenclaws like the entire house, consider Hagrid a joke, it's probably because he's not a very good teacher. Harry and Ron aren't really arguing that fact, he's their friend. But like here's a house that dedicates itself to wisdom and knowledge and learning. And I think that Luna's admission here maybe tactless or ill informed or you know, she didn't read the room first before she said is ultimately correct and fair. And you know, if they're not getting an education from this teacher, it's a waste of their time. And frankly I feel bad for all the Ravenclaws that have had to have years now of Hagrid's teaching.

[Micah]

Wow. So. Well, standing up for your friends is a theme that we see in this chapter. We see it a little bit later on when both Ron and Neville stand up for Harry. But I do agree with you Eric. The one thing I'll say though is I wonder how many teachers rise to the level of Ravenclaw approval.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, seems like they're a tough crowd.

[Eric]

They should all rise to the level of Ravenclaw approval. Get specific teachers in, have it be like the AP class you elected for and never took. I'm speaking about myself but like there were at least teachers, they made that available to our student body. It's a good question because I don't think, and this will go along with the theme of this chapter that we're going to be discussing. A lot of these teachers wouldn't measure up to your point. I, I, you know, but I think.

[Micah]

More importantly it's meant to build on Luna's character, the character that we were introduced to on the train. She doesn't have a filter. She speaks her mind. And in this case she's right. And it's nice to get a perspective too from a totally different house on somebody like Hagrid.

[Eric]

Well that's because like for the first time too I get that perspective and I'm like, oh, she's right. Like all of Ravenclaw really must think Hagrid's a joke. Like Slytherin would say it to his face and make fun of him and make him trip up. But like Ravenclaw, I think at the end of the day doesn't need to be mean about it. They just really want education that isn't being gotten. I'm thinking of all the lessons where Hagrid didn't even know what the Scroots wanted so he just made everybody kind of figure it out. Like he's learning at the same time they are. That is a joke ultimately and it's, it's upsetting what they should have done. And Grubbly Plank too just gets a whirlwind of hate and, and like Harry's always glaring at her either, either outright interrupting her classes to go where's Hagrid? All the time. What they should do is have Grubbly Blank be the professional full time Care of Magical Creatures teacher, maybe even years two through seven and then let Hagrid do the first year thing since he's already got a rapport with the first years for carting them across the lake every year. That should be something that Hagrid has because he also has groundskeeping duties.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. You know, I almost wonder in this moment, in this whole exchange where Hermione is kind of begrudgingly agreeing with Luna. I wonder if she has this moment of discomfort where she's thinking like gosh, this girl seems like a kook. But then she sees, she says something she agrees with. So I wonder if it's, it's a double layered uncertainty because she knows she's going to be in the doghouse with Harry and Ron, but she's also like, well if she thinks that, I don't know. I really like Luna as kind of a foil to Hermione because Hermione can be very rigid and she misses a lot sometimes because of that.

[Micah]

Yeah, she's a breath of fresh air. Especially in this book. She is the total counterbalance to Umbridge.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, well, I was going to say, speaking of someone who is not a breath of fresh air, we will get to her shortly, but we're going to jump into an analysis of the Sorting Hat song. No, I will not be singing it. However, if one of the two of you would like to sing it, by all means, I will not stop you. But there are so many interesting tidbits in this song that not only have to do with the warning that the hat is trying to give, but with the history of Hogwarts and its founders, and we just don't get a ton of that in the series. So stuff like this is a real treat. Details like the fact that Gryffindor and Slytherin were besties, apparently, which is really hard to imagine.

[Eric]

Is it?

[Laci Mosley]

Kinda. Especially. I mean, I understand that the representations we get of the founders are. I feel like in a lot of ways they're two dimensional. Right. It's like Slytherin, racist, bad Gryffindor, Brave sword. Ravenclaw, smart like, you know, I'm sure.

[Eric]

They'Ve made the Sorting Hat edit itself for time, you know, before in years past too. So.

[Micah]

Hufflepuff. Laura, I didn't hear what you were gonna characterize them as.

[Laci Mosley]

I mean, honest.

[Eric]

Hufflepuff, nice, patient, nice, sweet.

[Laci Mosley]

Particularly good finders from what I hear.

[Eric]

I agree, yeah.

[Laci Mosley]

But I just think it's interesting, especially given the way this song goes. I mean, ultimately we learn about how the founders. Well, three of the four founders had very specific ideas of who they thought warranted being in their houses. Um, so of course Slytherin wanted all the pure bloods, Gryffindor wanted the bravest of the brave, Ravenclaw wanted the most intelligent. And Hufflepuff said, you know what? I think everyone deserves to learn. Which I feel like must have objectively made her the best teacher, hands down.

[Micah]

That was just convenient for the writer though, too, because after you have the first three, you have to have somebody take the rest. No?

[Eric]

Well, either that or you offload like you delegate to people who are less than qualified to the founders. I agree this song is good for. For many reasons. Previously I think we've heard that the four founders were all friends with each other, but this one pairs them off. This one says Gryffindor and Slytherin were the ones that were closest and Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were the others that were closest. So I do think there are similarities between Slytherin and Gryffindor. I think that maybe those personality types are closer together than we typically acknowledge. So, you know, that also makes Slytherin's falling out that much more harrowing, I think, for Gryffindor, which is, after all, the main house, main character of the books.

[Laci Mosley]

Right. Well, the hat, of course, goes into that falling out. And we know the history here, right? Slytherin leaves and then like, what, 300 years later, the consequences rear their ugly head. But the hat also acknowledges what its primary function is, but expresses some doubt about that function. It says, hey, I know my only job, literally my only job is to sort you all into four different houses to separate you. But sometimes I worry that that's the wrong thing to do and that that is breeding and creating discord among you. All that need not be right.

[Micah]

My man wants a job change. That's what it sounds like to me.

[Eric]

Yeah, it's in crisis. It's having a career crisis. It's time to get on LinkedIn and start putting some feelers out and find a job that fits and better aligns with its values.

[Micah]

Totally.

[Laci Mosley]

Do you think that's why it held the sword of Gryffindor? Was it like towards the end of the second year, like ransom? Well, no, for Harry. Didn't he pull the sword of Gryffindor out of it?

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, it's trying to see what else it might be, you know, good at.

[Laci Mosley]

He was like, hey, Albus, can I just. I've been bored. I haven't done anything since September. Can you give me something? Throw me a bone. And Dumbledore was like, I got a sword.

[Eric]

Probably, yeah, but, but it's, it's interesting because, like Harry, to your point, Laura, of It's rare that we get this much insight into the founders and they are kind of two dimensional. It's bad enough that Harry misses sorting a couple of years. You know, this is maybe the third time he's seen it and it's his fifth year at Hogwarts out of six, let's be real. So I think that that's a reason why we don't get it often. But also we're told that this is maybe not unique for the Sorting Hat to do, but nevertheless is the like, most recent, most time in recent memory that it's sort of strayed from its straight and narrow path. But you wouldn't get this kind of commentary, this contemplative, I question whether I should split you all up commentary if it wasn't 100 necessary. And I think there's some level of like, I guess, trust in that from the student body.

[Micah]

Do you think? Yeah, Dumbledore is a hat whisperer. And these are actually Dumbledore's thoughts that are coming through.

[Eric]

Maybe. I, I think Dumbledore has been contemplative in that same exact way. Like the sometimes I think we sort too soon line has those same kind of echoes.

[Micah]

The. The one thing that came to mind for me, though, and you were talking about how Harry hasn't really been present at all of the Sortings. I believe this is the last Sorting that we get in this series. And so this is really the Sorting Hats parting words to the school. Now, there's no real way, unless it's prophetic in some capacity, to know what's to come in Deathly Hallows, but it seems like it. It does have some sentience to it, that it does pick up on things beyond just what maybe it overhears in Dumbledore's office, that it can actually interpret those things. And this is a warning, and it's important for us as readers because it's basically laying out what it thinks is important for what's to come in the next two books.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah.

[Eric]

And let's also add that each year, although he only has one job each year, it gets to see inside the minds of young students. And I think that what it sees in their minds is talent. Always, of course. Oh, my goodness. Yes. But that if honed to work together, you could be stronger than, like. I like that. The Hat sees everything it sees. And it's one, you know, perhaps parting message, like you said, Micah, is get along. Like, figure out how you can work together despite the fact that I'm splitting you all up. And, yeah, that message is a hundred % relevant and 100% evergreen.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, great points. I do want to point out we are getting a correction in the Discord. So the hat did belong to Godric Gryffindor. So that is why Harry was able to pull the sword of Gryffindor out of it. So just wanted to thank Mooney Lupin, legalize Gilly Weed. But then beyond that, Frank is asking in the Discord. So is it Godric's voice that we hear when the hat speaks?

[Eric]

I like to think it's its own voice, I think. I don't want to rob the Hat of autonomy. I think it's impressive that the Founders made the Hat its own sort of sentient being. I think that's extremely impressive. And if we start to say it's Godric's voice, then we kind of make the hat less than its own thing.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. You know, I had a question about the sentience, or the free will, if you think free will is a thing. I know that has been a debate that has come up on the show before with relation to the Sorting Hat, but I do Think it's interesting that the sorting hat is able to do things like break from tradition to give warnings that it is also able to take choice into account when it's sorting the students. Because I have a feeling that three out of the original four founders would not have taken choice into account, like, if that's interesting. Right. And so the sorting hat's like, nah, you're good. I'll put you where you want to go. But I just don't see Godric, Gryffindor or Salazar, Slytherin having someone come to them who doesn't meet their standards for their house and saying, hey, I really want to be in Slytherin. Will you let me me in? I don't see that happening. So it's interesting.

[Eric]

Yeah. Maybe it was a concession because the sorting hat wasn't there since day one, sorting the houses. The sorting hat was put in charge after the founders stopped doing it themselves. And so maybe a concession that each of them made after Slytherin left was to come up with a list of their values, three or four values, ones that we hear the hat sing about all this time. And it would use those values to then, you know, ascribe a house to people. So rather than strictly going by who's the most studious or any of that, who's the bravest, who's the most cunning and really just looked at, we've questioned before with Hermione being in Gryffindor, not Ravenclaw, what does she value more? Is it the learning or is it sort of the friendship aspect and bravery and standing up for what you believe in? So it's like kind of wishy washy there.

[Micah]

I do like what Mooney Lupin said about the sorting hat. It's like the voice of Gryffindor, mind of Ravenclaw, gentleness of Hufflepuff and the cutthroatness of Slytherin.

[Eric]

I love that.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. The Slytherin piece is when the hat barely touches someone's head and is like, oh, no, get me off here. You can go in Slytherin. Bye.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. It's like. It's like sitting on Santa's lap. But he's been there for three hours without a break and he's just like, what do you want? Okay, bye. Get out of here.

[Laci Mosley]

Well, we're gonna get out of here for just a moment for a quick ad break, but then we'll be right back to finish chatting about the sorting Hats new song. And we're back and we talked about this a little Bit before the break, but. But we know it's not the first time that the Sorting Hat has used the song to give a warning, because Nearly Headless Nick confirms this. Unfortunately, we never are rewarded with the answer to the question, well, what else did it warn us about? First of all, because he's about to tell them and Professor McGonagall rudely interrupts him by staring daggers at him to shut the heck up. Um, but then two, Ron's being kind of insensitive towards Nick when asking the question and chewing with his mouth full ultimately offends Nick and. And he takes off. But I was wondering, because we do have some knowledge of wizarding world history, are there any specific events we can think of where the Hat might have given a warning? Like, I'm thinking about the Goblin rebellion has to be won, for example.

[Eric]

Brexit is a more modern one. It would have sp. I think, probably same message, get along. Maybe the Titanic sinking. We know Credence nearly died on that. I think there would have been a few times. Yeah, for sure. But it's literally to question, not to go back to that sentience, but it's come up with a thousand different songs in its tenure. It's almost as prolific as Taylor Swift. That's how impressive it is.

[Laci Mosley]

Does it leave tons of Easter eggs that the students obsess over all year to try and predict what the next song is going to be or when it's going to be dropped? Because, goodness, I mean, that's what it needs to reach that Swifty level, is my understanding.

[Micah]

I just love that you worked Taylor Swift into the SEO so that if.

[Eric]

We can do that, she keeps putting.

[Micah]

Out more music once per episode for this year, I think we'll be in really great shape.

[Eric]

Okay. I'm going to mention Chapman next week.

[Micah]

To that point, though, Eric, I would like to advocate then, for the Sorting Hat to be in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

[Eric]

Well, I said it made a thousand songs. It doesn't mean any of them were commercially successful.

[Micah]

I mean, a thousand, though.

[Eric]

Yeah. Even if the. Even if it's low odds, like a low percentage, I bet some of them are bops. I think the first. The one we see in Harry's first year is an absolute banger.

[Micah]

Who do you think would induct the Sorting Hat into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame?

[Eric]

The ghost of Godric Fedora? It'd be like, when I knew you, you were just my hat and then I left Left you in charge and look at where you've come I Don't know.

[Laci Mosley]

I feel like Iggy Pop is fun enough that he would do it. Right? He would do it.

[Eric]

Yeah. Or slash on a whim.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. Well, the Sorting hat dropped its warning at a very opportune moment because everyone has their feast enjoys, you know, filling their bellies after a long day on the Hogwarts Express. And Dumbledore stands up to give his speech. But he's quickly interrupted just a couple of minutes in by Umbridge with that insufferable that we all hate to hear. So prepare for that for the rest of this edition of Chapter by Chapter. And she also gave a speech that can be deeply analyzed and Hermione seems to be the only one who's paying enough attention to do it. Fortunately for Harry and Ron, she's able to extend.

[Eric]

Explain yeah.

[Laci Mosley]

Everything to them.

[Eric]

She's on fire. It's kind of like she's their chat GPT summary of some of this. Like you can just copy and paste long bits of info. But it seems like most the school. This isn't just in their immediate circle. Most of the school is also struggling. I think Ernie Mack's eyes are glazed over.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Too.

[Laci Mosley]

And that's by design. Right? I mean her entire speech is like double speak. Like, you know, progress for progress sake ought to be prohibited. Like there's so much of what she says that's just like contradictory word salad. And that's by design. It was intended to be intentionally difficult to track and follow and understand and and to actually have the effect that it ultimately has on everybody except Hermione. And I think that's exactly why Umbridge doesn't care that nobody's paying attention to her because she's kind of getting to fly under the radar. Right. The Ministry at this point knows that they can't quite say the quiet part out loud. They know that they have to be more political and like covert about it at this point. And I think her being boring and confusing to listen to is by design.

[Eric]

That is a really good point Also. I mean it would be bad enough that she seemed to most the school to interrupt Dumbledore. You know, that was bad enough that he was kind of about to send them on their way and she took. And he gave an inch and she took a mile as far as that. Really? That alone. I mean, if Grubbly Plank did that Harry would be calling for her blood. I mean, seriously.

[Laci Mosley]

I mean, I think a lot of people would. I think the thing with Umbridge is a lot of people don't know who she is.

[Eric]

Right.

[Laci Mosley]

So there's a bit of like, astonishment, like, does this lady know who she just interrupted?

[Eric]

Like, being nonplussed and her fake sweetness. I think kids have a knack for kind of detecting when an adult is being fake with you. And I think that some of that is clearly already coming through to, if not the whole student body. Definitely to Harry. There's something too sickly sweet about her that would, I think, put Harry off even if he didn't recognize her from the trial that he just went through where she tried to get him expelled.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah.

[Micah]

And. And that's an important part of it though, too, because that allows Hermione to connect the dots.

[Eric]

Yes.

[Micah]

And I think even under normal circumstances she would still be paying attention to what this woman is saying, but she pays it extra careful attention because Harry says that in fact, Umbridge was a part of her trial. And Laura, going back to something you were talking about before, she is telling you who she is by not telling you who she is almost. It's, it's. It's a very nice kind of facade that she's able to put up. And I think for a lot of the students was mentioned how one was kind of staring blankly. I'm sure more than one. But a lot of the other ones are kind of making fun of her. They don't. They don't realize the challenge that is standing in front of them or who this person is ultimately going to become just a few chapters from now. How sinister, how evil this person actually is. And that goes to the sugary sweetness you were talking about. I think that's. That's the part that they can latch onto as kids and make fun of. And some of them do that.

[Eric]

Yeah. I think Dumbledore really plays this pitch perfectly in this chapter. I can already hear Andrew cheering in the editing room about this. But, you know, his response to Umbridge's entire speech is polite applause. And he tries to get it going for everyone else. Like he cannot be seen to then immediately try and warn the student body about her or anything. They're sort of on their own, but not in a Dumbledore's neglectful way, but in a Dumbledore's hands are directly tied sort of way to, to suss out what kind of person Umbridge is and what her true intentions are. They'll find out soon enough to Laura's point. But Dumbledore has to allow her here and has to allow her to do pretty much anything she wants. And that alone should make everyone uncomfortable.

[Micah]

Yeah, I'm interested though. What would have happened if he would have told her. Excuse me, I'm not done yet. And I agree with you. He has to let her play her hand here. If he does choose to interrupt her or tell her to sit down and shut up, that's not going to go over well. It's not going to be a great look for him because nobody yet really knows who Dolores Umbridge is.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah.

[Laci Mosley]

And he. Dumbledore has already gotten so much negative publicity if she runs back to Cornelius and it ends up in the Daily Prophet that Dumbledore, you know, allegedly body slammed a ministry official for interrupting him in the Great hall, it would just be too much.

[Eric]

And Dumbledore's student approval rating has to be an all time low too because of that same gossip. If you look at what happens with Seamus and Harry at the end of the chapter, if you pedal that backwards a little bit if Dumbledore put any toes out of line or behaved in a cavalier sort of way, even some of his students, like the ones that have been at Hogwarts for years would turn against him because it would make him seem more reckless and more unhinged and more, you know, not with it. And together the way everyone's saying that he's not. So he really, I think is, is starting the year off with like the lowest approval rating and has to really be careful.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. Does he ever get it back? Like, is there ever a point after this where Dumbledore has the same level of respect amongst the student body as he had pre Goblet of Fire?

[Eric]

Maybe in the very next year because he finally hires some teachers that people like to do the subjects that people like. And everyone remembers how awful Umbridge was. So that benefits Dumbledore for kind of navigating that successfully the previous year.

[Micah]

And Voldemort returns. I think that vindicates him on some level. I think the students probably who all along didn't like Dumbledore don't necessarily turn over a new leaf and grow fond of him. But maybe some who were questioning fall back in line a little bit. But just look at, you know, what happens after his fall from the Astronomy Tower and at his funeral. You know, clearly it's well attended and he's well acknowledged.

[Laci Mosley]

Let's talk about the Harry and Seamus fight once they get back up to their dormitory. Harry just wants to go to sleep.

[Eric]

Harry's. Well, to be fair. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

[Laci Mosley]

And I mean his fellow students have been staring at him and clearly talking about him every chance they can get. Like he's, he's. Uncomfortable, he's tired, he's had a long day, he wants to go to bed.

[Eric]

Well, Laura, before we get there I actually had a question that I wanted to ask you guys. He has the opportunity to maybe help Ron and Hermione. There was a split second where I thought, because Ron is surprised, Hermione is like, we have to Ron, this is us. We have to lead. The first years of the dormitory, everyone's like, oh, oh yeah. But they could have maybe turned to Harry and say, Harry, I know you're not technically a prefect. Would you like to help us? Like he could have stuck around. What ends up happening is the first time an 11 year old looks at him funny or maybe somebody who's like 13 or 12, he immediately resolves to like leave and take secret passageways the whole way up to the castle. So he's in his head. But would it, would it have gone over differently if somebody had said Harry, like can you actually help us with these kids? Or something like that? Maybe.

[Micah]

I think it's important though, the point you bring up about him taking the secret passages because that shows just what kind of state of mind he's in.

[Eric]

That he's doesn't want to be.

[Micah]

Not wanting to engage with anybody that he's using, whether it's the map, whether it's his cloak, I don't know that they get specific. But he knows these passageways anyway and he's able to navigate it such that he really doesn't have to interact with anybody. And his father's son Seamus just adds fuel to the fire at this point.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah, it's been a long day.

[Laci Mosley]

It has. And Harry gets to his dorm and of course he finds some of his dorm mates there. Neville's there, so are Dean and Seamus. And Harry asks how Dean's summer was and Dean says oh my summer was great. Seamus's though his, his was pretty rough. And Harry goes to ask what happened and Seamus kind of awkwardly says, you happen, man. My mom didn't want me to come back to Hogwarts because of you. Because his mom had absorbed the narrative from the Daily Prophet that Harry was lying or crying, crazy that Dumbledore was old and forgetful and that none of this stuff with Voldemort had happened. So this leads to quite a blow up between the two of them with Seamus feeling like Harry is attacking his mother and Harry feeling attacked by a woman that he seemed like once in person before. And then Seamus of course feels like he needs to rise to the occasion to defend his mother's. Honor. Harry doesn't handle escalation very well and he doesn't here, but I understand why, you know, he's, he's been dealing with this all summer. He went through this trial, thought he wasn't going to be allowed to come back to Hogwarts, got through that, you know, had to deal with everything at grim old place gets here and the first thing he's greeted by in his room which is supposed to be his safe space is yo, my mom thinks, and therefore I think you're a nutter. That sucks.

[Eric]

It's a lot to put on on Harry. Like it's. You and Dumbledore are the reason that my life is hard. It's unfair. I think there was a more constructive way that Seamus could have said it. Like I'm not getting along with my mom because I almost couldn't come back to Hogwarts even despite my desire for learning. She's been reading the paper and to be honest, I'm uncertain how I feel about you. And it's not a nicer message, but it's a little bit, you know, it's a lot less teenage boy to do something different than what he does.

[Micah]

So is that what you think the root of the issue is, is a disagreement between Seamus and his mom about Harry?

[Eric]

No, I think that Seamus is deeply curious what happens to that. That's why after sort of this immediate blow up, he does ask Harry, hey, what did happen?

[Micah]

Which is the million dollar question. That's the million, yeah. Throughout Order of the Phoenix. But it's really not going to satiate anybody really. There. There's nothing that Harry can say from his experience in the graveyard that is going to really change anybody's opinion in my mind.

[Eric]

Right. It makes Harry think that he's coming up short here and he even acknowledges that, you know, at the end of the last year he was distraught and there were only like a couple of days and he didn't get to tell everybody the full thing. But there is no full thing really other than what Dumbledore said. So it's either that was good enough for you or it wasn't. And it seems like with the addition of the stuff that the Daily Prophet is putting fewer people are okay with taking Dumbledore's word for it.

[Micah]

The important thing though that comes from this is that it shows Harry he doesn't always have the support of those within his own house. And it's going to become a larger theme about loyalty and choosing sides of this war as we move forward. Now this is a very smaller example of that with probably not as many implications because it's resolved by the end of this book for the most part. But they're going to be people who are going to fall on both sides of the aisle here. And it may not always be the characters that Harry or we anticipate. And I like to think that there's more to this story though, than what Seamus is actually sharing. I know that he probably has a strong desire to support his mother's position and certainly once she gets insulted by Harry, he has every right to defend her. But one thing that I remembered and I find to be somewhat ironic, and I'm going to call Seamus and his mother a bunch of hypocrites because in the previous book, both of them could give two rats. You know, what about what the Ministry thought of their decked out shamrock tent at the Quidditch World Cup? So interesting how now they're all lovey dovey with Cornelius and kissing the ministries behind in this particular situation. So, you know, whenever it suits you, please fall in line.

[Eric]

It's. It's a crying shame. Even Ron brings up that they met Seamus's mom. They say, we liked your mother. He says, you know, last year we met her, thought she was all right. Like it's, it's a shame that it should kind of have degraded and devolved into this personal angle. But ultimately it's just the only thing causing this is nothing Harry did. It's not even anything Dumbledore did. It's the Ministry that's unwilling to acknowledge that things are as bad as they are. And if they just told people, then we could all be facing the real challenge ahead of us and not what was, what's being lied about.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, well, Micah, I think you have a what if for us. Did you want to get to that or do you have any other of these notes you wanted to touch on?

[Eric]

Okay, I'm going to play the sound effect. Get ready.

[Micah]

What if Seamus moved the hell out?

[Eric]

Now I'm playing Billy Joel.

[Micah]

Oh, yeah. Great song by the way. You know, I thought a little bit through this. Who cares, number one if he moved out? Nobody. Nobody cares about Sheamus.

[Eric]

Is this a serious question? If Micah, is this a serious question?

[Micah]

It's kind of a fun what if. Yeah, there's an extra bed. I mean that's a, that's a huge bonus. If I were Ron, Dean, Neville and Harry, I'd be like, dude, go. You know, they're 50 years. You know, they need the space. They don't mind an extra bed, you.

[Eric]

Know that Ron would put his feet on the other bed. Like he's, he's tall, he's always growing taller and.

[Micah]

Yeah, who do we think would need to sign off on this? Because I'm all for it.

[Eric]

Well, there has to actually. Yeah. Actually yeah, it's McGonagall. There, there actually has to be a way to mediate these kinds of disagreements. I mean not maybe not this specific.

[Micah]

It can't be the only time this has happened. Surely this has come up before. I mean think about the people who probably live with Fred and George.

[Eric]

Yeah. Any college dorm roommates like you can be re relocated. It takes a little bit but you can do it.

[Laci Mosley]

I just wonder where because there really aren't too many options unless they're going to move him into like the fourth year's dorm or the sixth year's dorm which probably wouldn't be fun.

[Eric]

I just want to point out the complete fallibility and inconsistency of class sizes at Hogwarts and student populist size. Even in this chapter it is said that there is a huge line of people waiting to be sorted. And it takes a long time for that line to go down in this chapter. And yet from Harry's year there were five Gryffindors, you can name them all and they're all in this room, so it just doesn't make sense. And they can expand any space with magic. So there has to be room and beds for everybody to spare to have private apartments even.

[Laci Mosley]

I mean they have those sleeping bags they use in Prisoner of Azkaban.

[Micah]

I would love couches in the common room.

[Eric]

Oh my God.

[Micah]

I'm sure people have slept on them.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah.

[Micah]

So into the wicked wood. Becky in the Discord makes a really good point. Maybe Seamus feels a bit unsafe in a room with Harry without knowing for sure what really happened or what's happening with him. He might be a brave Gryffindor, but it's harder to be brave in the face of the unknown.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, well and to be honest here I totally understand why Seamus's mom was scared. I mean they're getting misinformation, you know. Yeah, they're getting misinformation from their government. And she's worried about sending her son back to school with someone who the Ministry is saying is off his rocker and potentially dangerous.

[Micah]

The real thing is somebody who came out of the maze with the dead body. Like I think that's the real issue here.

[Eric]

I think as Michelle points out in her Discord, maybe Seamus feels betrayed Too. Like he's a close enough friend to Harry to expect an explanation and have that be okay. But it's just that Harry's been picked and prodded at the entire summer and like I, I think there is a world in which Harry would take the time and actually explain it, but he's tired of answering.

[Micah]

Seamus ain't even close to the fourth wheel. Okay? He's got, he's got at least a handful of people in front of him.

[Laci Mosley]

Honestly, I think Luna's in front of him.

[Micah]

Yeah. Well, speaking of, of people who are close to Harry Neville, let's talk a little bit about him because yeah, this moment for him is a defining moment, I think in the series. Standing up much like he does in Sorcerer's Stone, but this time in front of, you know, the rest of his dorm mates to voice his support for Harry, voice his grandmother's support for Harry and Dumbledore. I just thought it was a really cool moment.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, I loved it.

[Eric]

And you know, there's this talk about Seamus's mom, but Neville's gran knows what's up. Every time Neville's Gran shows up in these books, any mention of her, any the way McGonagall like talks about her once or twice, you just, you just see that she is a no nonsense woman who has her head on straight. But here's the other aspect there that nobody's talking about. And Neville, we don't know who his parents were yet. It's coming later in this book. But if your child was one of the main foils to Voldemort and they died and your grandson is now going to a school where Voldemort's return is not being publicized. Like you would take that seriously. Augusta Longbottom is taking it seriously because she lost son and daughter in law. Or daughter and son in law, I think probably son and daughter in law to Voldemort, she's not about to discredit or discount somebody like Dumbledore saying he's returned. Like, you just can't fool that woman.

[Laci Mosley]

Well, and she probably feels like the safest place for Neville is wherever Dumbledore is. So she's probably eager for him to go back. But it is so interesting, Eric, that you point out the differences in perception between people whose families either were or were not impacted directly by the first Wizarding War. Like the people who had close relatives die the first time around are like, nope, I get it. Feels like last time.

[Eric]

Yeah. Or people in the Order even more specifically like would have gained that trust of Dumbledore that extra trust, that really helps. But, yeah, I mean, Augusta just knows that it's not. It's not anything to, like, ignore. She's seeing the signs.

[Micah]

And speaking of Dumbledore, I thought it was very emotionally mature of Harry at the end of this chapter to notice that maybe he's going through the same thing as Harry. Right? Maybe Dumbledore is experiencing a little bit of what, or maybe a lot of what Harry is going through in this particular moment. We know about the expulsion from the. What is it? The Wizen Gamo.

[Eric]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Laci Mosley]

And.

[Eric]

And it's funny how Seamus is citing that is like, well, he was kicked off the Wizingamo because he's losing his marbles. And it's like, name another member of the Wizingamo. I dare you.

[Laci Mosley]

Right.

[Eric]

Like, can you really care about this? Like, seriously.

[Laci Mosley]

But also, like, did you even know what the Wizen Gimmow was before you.

[Eric]

Saw that Dumbledore had been kicked off of it? Yeah. I hate it so much.

[Laci Mosley]

Well, we need to take one more quick break before we come back with our Question of the Week. Sit tight and we will be right back. All right, y'all. So time to get into some questions. First one, our replacement for the old MVP of the Week segment. I have a question that's actually inspired Eric by a point you made earlier in the episode about Hermione being the chatgpt for Harry and Ron. So what would we want Hermione GPT to TLDR for us? TLDR stands for Too Long, Didn't Read.

[Eric]

So what is Hermione going to summarize? So, for me, it's going to be Professor Binns's History of Magic lessons. I feel like there's probably some good info there, but do I want to spend a whole class period listening to a dead guy drone on about it? No. Hermione GPT. Please deliver us and save me that time. Give me my 45 minutes back.

[Micah]

I want her to give me the short summary of the conversation that took place between Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout while Umbridge was giving her speech.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, that's a very good one.

[Eric]

That's a good one.

[Laci Mosley]

I like that. Yeah, I said my Ancient Runes homework just because I've always imagined when I've thought about Hogwarts courses and, like, which ones would probably be the hardest for me for some reason, Ancient Runes seems like there's lots of calculations involved and that that's not my jam. So I think I would have Hermione GPT Help me with that.

[Eric]

Love it. Yeah, that was, that was a good thought process there.

[Laci Mosley]

And now we're going to turn to our links line, which is our newest benefit on Patreon. Thanks to those who Support [e-mail] Mugglecast for answering this week's question. So this week's question is related again to the Umbridge theme of the chapter. In this chapter, Umbridge not so subtly announces her intentions to reform the curricula of Hogwarts. So this week we asked which class, lesson or teacher would benefit most from changes to improve the educational experience. And which changes would you make to their subject and how it is taught? And we added a caveat here. Please don't pick Hagrid. We rag on him enough.

[Eric]

Oh, you know, and we don't feel like we spend. I don't know if we spent enough time on it on this episode. I was expecting a lot more time devoted to how the raven claws are.

[Micah]

Way justified of other episodes where we ranked on.

[Eric]

Okay, all right, all right then I will be silent. But the first one on the links line, the first response we got on our links line from Ningchi says the grading of divination seems extremely subjective and would probably benefit from some sort of grading rubric. I think recent world events is proving learning history is important, so minimizing sleeping students would help greatly. Yeah, I agree with that. Any, any of these nebulous grading schemes have to go.

[Micah]

Carly says, I do feel like the first year's flying lesson should be reformed a bit. It's kind of like driver's ed but with 11 year olds and they basically let them drive a car their first day. They should go through an instructional class first, pass a written test, then only after all that would they be allowed on a worn out, wobbly hand me down stick that can go hundreds of feet in the air. So I agree with that.

[Laci Mosley]

That's a good one. Honestly, I'm kind of surprised because we know that we find out in book seven, isn't it that Harry had like a broomstick that was designed for toddlers that didn't lift him very high? Yeah, I'm kind of surprised that for 11 year olds learning to fly for the first time there isn't something similar.

[Eric]

Oh yeah, like training brooms basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good point. The fact that Neville can like get on his broom and then all of a sudden be throttled off and put in mortal peril is, well, an oversight.

[Laci Mosley]

Steph asks what do they learn in transfiguration Besides turning an animal into a goblet. Hermione seems to be the only one who uses transfiguration outside of school. And all we know is she likes, quote, just a bit of light reading.

[Eric]

Ah, this is such a good one. It is like, I can't believe Steph came from McGonagall. But like, I think it's a point. What use is this to the wider world? And can we kind of make or find more worthy reasons to use transfiguration? Like, it's whenever we would go to a class for real and say, where will we use this? You know, trigonometry in the real world. And there really isn't a time where you have to figure out the area under a curve in real life unless you've gone into a very specific field. So for transfiguration. Yeah. The kinds of things that we see them doing, I think that's very fair.

[Laci Mosley]

Is it? I mean, isn't becoming an Animagus? Isn't that under the transfiguration umbrella? Did we ever get 1 in 40.

[Eric]

Million people have ever done?

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, yeah. But we also learn about Gamp's Laws of Elemental Transfiguration. That's another use. But again, Hermione's the one who brings that up.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting what the base most level of transfigurations uses is interesting. Rachel adds. One subject I'd like to add to Hogwarts is health. Not only because I love Madame Pomfrey. Hey. But I think a class on basic remedies and treatments would benefit students. It'd also be an opportunity to teach the cost slash Rules of Magic on the body, which would be some cool world building. I love this.

[Laci Mosley]

I do too. This is really smart. This is actually one of the best justifications I've heard for Hogwarts having a health class. Like, we've talked about that before, but it's usually in the context of like, Hogwarts needs sex ed. Because these are a bunch of teenagers.

[Eric]

Right.

[Laci Mosley]

And they don't have that. And that just seems like a miss, as they say. But I love this idea of expanding it to say, like, here's how you take care of yourself, but here's also how you can remedy things if you accidentally cast like a jinx. Like a jinx backfires on you and you need to be able to do something to quickly address the immediate damage so that you can get down to the hospital wing. Like, stuff like that would be really helpful and cool.

[Eric]

Yeah. And it would explain how a healer Becomes a healer.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah.

[Eric]

You know, at least if you were given the most basic level of understanding during Hogwarts, then I could see, you know, the path, I guess, towards that as a career.

[Micah]

AJ Brings up Muggle Studies, saying, we don't see it, but Mr. Weasley's understanding is a little underdeveloped for a Ministry expert in the area. I think we see that quite a bit, actually.

[Eric]

What? Muggle studies.

[Micah]

Oh, is he saying we don't see Muggle studies? I see. The way I read it is we don't see Mr. Weasley's understanding being underdeveloped.

[Eric]

Look, I don't. I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but it is unclear what Charity Burbage's whole curriculum and agenda is at Hogwarts. And it's possible that she's failing the wizarding public as a whole. Yes.

[Laci Mosley]

I feel like if it were bad, Hermione would say something. Because, of course Hermione takes Muggle studies because she has to take everything.

[Eric]

That's a good point.

[Micah]

And I'm not entirely sure, like, do we even know that Muggle Studies existed at Hogwarts when Arthur was there?

[Eric]

Yeah, that's true.

[Micah]

Arthur's fallen into a very niche role at the Ministry. So, yeah.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, all good points. Great. Well, we do have several more submissions, but I will just preface this by saying everything else is hate for Snape and Potions and Bins and History of Magic. So getting into the Potions hate. Lindsay says Potions is an OSHA nightmare. Poor lighting, no ventilation for fumes. Chemicals are not properly labeled with hazard warnings. Safety goggles and dragon hide gloves not being worn. Where's the safety shower? Where are the safety data sheets? Hazardous waste spill plans? Does the Potions Master ensure students have basic math skills, year one to adequately follow instructions? No, they definitely don't.

[Eric]

Every one of these is a good point that I'd love to write a dissertation on. But for me, the math and the conversions of grams to liters to, again, measuring ingredients, that is so important in baking. I mean, potions, there's really no substitute. And not only are they working with hazardous chemicals, but the teacher's threatening half the time to give you the hazardous chemical that you've created. If you're Neville. And Roshni says the whole class is, here's a recipe, try it. And Snape knows all these tricks and stuff, but he doesn't teach it to them. What's the point in that? Is there any technique taught at all? It just doesn't Seem effective to me. You're right. Snape just browbeats everyone. And maybe a few people get to learn that way, but most people probably do not.

[Micah]

Michelle says that Snape may be a highly skilled wizard in potion maker, but there should be no room for bullying in the classroom. His knowledge and high standards should make him a great teacher, but his inability to create a safe space for learning makes him completely ineffective. Yeah, we see that a couple times in this series with certain students.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh yeah. Steph says it felt like an entirely different subject with Slughorn teaching it as he made it open, engaging and integrated the teachings into their lived experience experiences. A fun idea could be partnering up with Herbology on a garden to cauldron project. That's so cool. Because those subjects do go hand in hand.

[Eric]

There is a lot of overlap for sure between several of these subjects. And Julianne adds, regarding potions, any decent educator knows that encouraging students in building positive relationships are some of the most important aspects of of helping students learn. Guess Snape didn't get that memo. But then again, he was never trained as a teacher.

[Micah]

Fair point. All right, it is time for some bins bashing. We heard from Xavier who said, this is my first links line. Well, welcome. I think that if it was taught properly, History of Magic could be a blast. If the teacher was engaged in the lessons and brought in goblins or people that study history in the magical world, it could be super fun. Also, if you did projects on wizards, goblins or giant wars, it could be a blast. It's all about the teaching style. I think it has a lot of potential.

[Eric]

You know, the only reason we have bins as an educator is because Dumbledore never hired another. He's like, oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna have to hire a new. Wait, wait, no. He's a ghost. Oh, thank God. We'll just put the ghost. Let the ghost keep doing it. It was good enough for him during life. We don't even need to pay him. Let's just let him leave it. Like we could have had a fun, young, hip History of Magic teacher. Somebody to shake things up.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. Morgan says I would absolutely dread his class. And that's Professor Bins, of course. And I'm someone who actually loves history. For students who didn't grow up in the wizarding world and never heard about magical historical events firsthand, his lessons must be a real struggle. There needs to be more interaction. How about class debates or discussions? Allowing students to present on topics of interest would make the subject so much more engaging. Even a Bit of peer to peer teaching could help break up the monotony. Yeah, I mean, again, we're hearing lots of suggestions that would be way better than what we get.

[Eric]

I'm so glad we asked this question. These are all very useful, for sure.

[Micah]

I think for the subjects that have real world applications, a lot of this could be the author's own experience, let's say perhaps with her history classes over the years and the kinds of professors or the. Or the way the subject matter was taught. I know, I mean, any subject matter can be dry and boring, but history probably has a bad rap when it comes to that. So.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Jennifer says, I think about how much better it could have been if Professor Bins had just made it a little more interesting or engaging for the students. The very fact that he's a ghost could have made the class that much more exciting. He could have drifted over the class, catching people not paying attention. Knowing where we come from is how we avoid problems in the future. Or so we hope.

[Micah]

Eleanor says, okay, I'm biased. I'm a history graduate.

[Eric]

Disclaimer.

[Micah]

It's an absolutely fascinating subject, just not when taught by someone who just drones on and on and on with dates and facts. Make it a bit more interactive. Have some debates, explain why things happen and why they're important. Get the ghosts who live through it to talk about their experiences. There's an opportunity here to make it super fun and interesting.

[Eric]

I love the idea.

[Laci Mosley]

I love that idea that Bins could.

[Eric]

Network with fellow ghosts.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, I mean, clearly Nearly Headless Nick is ready to talk about it.

[Eric]

There you go.

[Micah]

Just make sure McGonagall's not around.

[Eric]

Yeah, she'll glare at you.

[Laci Mosley]

And finally, Emily says, history can be so interesting. And most students seem to sleep through this class. Hermione's historical knowledge comes in handy many times throughout the series. If the subject was taught in a more interesting way, many students may have the same knowledge. It's a good point. We wouldn't have to necessarily only rely on Hermione.

[Micah]

Cool.

[Eric]

That's a good point.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. Well, thank you so much, everyone for participating in this week's Links line. And don't forget, you can participate in the Links line every week by becoming a patron [e-mail] mugglecast and if you have feedback about today's discussion, you can contact us by emailing or sending a voice memo recorded on your phone to mugglecastmail.com and next week it will be.

[Micah]

Order of The Phoenix, chapter 12. Professor Umbridge. But now it's time for Quizzage.

[Eric]

Heck, yeah. First of the year. It's back. This week's quizzic question was inspired by the Quibbler, which UK tabloid, known for its sensationalist journalism was founded in the year 1896 by a man who would later become First Viscount Northcliffe. Yes, it's one of the two main tabloids in the UK and the correct answer is the Daily Mail. 63% of people said they got it without looking it up, and I'm choosing to believe them. Correct answers were submitted by Stubby Boardman. A healthy breeze. All I want for Christmas is Tom Felton under the tree. Hope you got it, Annabelle. Buff. Daddy Cornelius. Goblin Crusher, Fudge, Eleanor. Guys, I have finals this week and if I get over 50 on my chem final, then I will be very surprised. Creatures, Crevices. Laura's Quizzic number hints. Oh, the random things you learn as a history teacher. Patronus Seeker, Proud Hufflepuff, Ravenclaws. Read both the Daily Prophet and the Quibbler to be fully informed. Cheyenne, the Hash Slinging Slasher. The Sorting Hat's new diss track. The Wheat Belt Warlock. The Witch Weekly of the Muggle World. This is my real name. Tipsy Elf. Uncle Vernon's favorite newspaper. And what are those horse things? Okay, it's quite a fun. I think it was like two weeks of names. So there you go. And here is next week's Quizzage question. In light of Umbridge's long and boring speech, what is the length of the longest speech ever given in the United Kingdom, presented by Henry Peter Brougham in 1828? I need the length of the speech in hours. I'll give you a hint. It's more than 4 and less than 8. Submit your answer to us on the Quizzage website. Could that. Is that Laura's number hints or Micah's number hints there? Oh, I don't know, but yeah. Submit your answer to us. What were you saying?

[Laci Mosley]

I was just going to say, well, if you get it wrong because of that, I don't want the smoke. I didn't say it.

[Eric]

Yeah, so it was Micah that said it. Submit your answer to us using the Quizzage form, which can be found on the Mugglecast website. If you're going to mugglecast.comquizzic or going to Mugglecast for another reason, maybe reading some transcripts, click on Quizzic for the main navbar. Get over there. That way. And thanks to all who participated in Kwizzitch and are participating in our Real World questions, Trivia rounds. Yeah, really appreciate it.

[Micah]

And just a few closing reminders. Be sure to check out our other weekly podcast, what the Hype and Millennial for some more pop culture and real world talk from the four of us. I know Laura, you and Pam just did the first what the hype of 2025 on Onyx Storm. Is that a Pokemon spinoff?

[Laci Mosley]

I can see why you would think that. So Onyx storm is the third book in the Empyrean series after 4th Wing and Iron Flame and it is coming out on January 21st. So Pam and I had a guest join us, Carly from Dear Fantasy Reader podcast and we went over all of our most fun, most maybe controversial predictions about what we think is going to happen in Onyx Storm. It was such a fun episode. And yeah, by the time this episode of Bunglecast is out, it will be up on the what the Hype feed. So definitely check it out if you want to see what we think Onyx Storm has in store for us.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah.

[Micah]

And don't forget, all these shows are brought to you by Muggles like you. So listener support is the only reason we've been able to podcast for 20 that is 20 years old.

[Eric]

Again, my beard.

[Micah]

There are several great ways, of course, for you to help us out. Visit mugglecastmerch.com to get official Mugglecast shirts, hoodies, glassware and hats. Apple Podcast subscribers can sign up for Mugglecast Gold, which gets you instant access to ad free and early releases of Mugglecast, plus two bonus Mugglecast installments every month. And for even more benefits, you can [e-mail] Mugglecast you'll get all the benefits of Mugglecast Gold, plus live streams, yearly stickers, links, line participation, a physical gift, a video message from one of the four of us, and made just for you. And much, much more. If you enjoy Mugglecast and think other Muggles would too, tell a friend about the show and leave a five star review in your favorite podcast app. And finally, visit mugglecast.com for transcripts, social media links, our full episode archive, our favorite episodes, and more. That does it for episode 688. We made it. Andrew will be back next week.

[Eric]

Don't worry, I'll try not to lose all of the recording.

[Micah]

Thanks everybody for listening. I'm Micah.

[Eric]

I'm Eric.

[Laci Mosley]

And I'm Laura.

[Micah]

Bye everyone.

[Laci Mosley]

Happy New Year.

[Micah]

Happy New Year. Sa.