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B (5:50)

Pat Tillman was born into a typical all American family. His father, Patrick Sr. Was a lawyer and his mom Mary was a teacher. In 1976 they moved into a new home in a neighborhood just outside of San Jose, California. Seemed like a safe area, the kind of place they'd want to raise their kids. Which was important because Mary was pregnant with their first. On November 6, she gave birth to Patrick Daniel Tillman. He was named after his father, but from that day forward, everyone would know him simply as Pat. About 14 months later Pat's younger brother Kevin was born. Not quite Irish twins, but close. Then came Richard. Three years later. The boys did everything together, and they got into a lot of mischief. In the summers, they explored the great outdoors, where they loved climbing trees and jumping off rocks. Their favorite thing to say was the F word, which they used as an adjective, noun and verb. But no matter what they were doing or where they were, Pat took the lead. Not just because he was the oldest, but but because he was a natural leader. He protected his younger brothers, but he also pushed them to try new things and stretch their limits. Kevin was always right beside Pat, while Richard trailed behind his older siblings trying to keep up. All in all, Pat was a pretty typical teenage boy. But he had a real talent for running fast and knocking the hell out of people. So it wasn't a surprise that he found his calling in the world of Sports. In 1990, Pat was a freshman at Leland High School. He actually tried out for the baseball team first, a passion he shared with his brother Kevin. Pat became a JV catcher but didn't have the skills to make varsity. So by the time sophomore year came around, Pat switched things up and decided to try football instead. At 5:11, he was average height and and didn't seem as strong as the other guys on the team. The school coaches didn't expect much from him. Pats proved them wrong. He put his head down and got to work, showing them all what he could do. And he wasn't just good, he was great. He played both offense and defense, landing himself starting positions in 1993. As a senior, he he helped lead the team to a Central Coast Division 1 football championship. That could have gone to Pat's head, but it didn't. He was humble, getting more embarrassed than anything when people complimented his performance. For Pat, playing wasn't about getting glory or awards. It was about being part of a unit and helping his teammates succeed. Despite his high school success, playing college ball wasn't guaranteed. A lot of people thought he was still too small to make it in the big leagues. But in 1994, with their last scholarship available, Arizona State University took a chance and signed him. He went to ASU and played linebacker, a defensive position. Pat did so well there that he was named the conference defensive player of the year as a senior. That same year, Pat led the ASU Sun Devils through an undefeated season and an appearance in the historic Rose Bowl. He was a real beast on the field. But Pat wasn't just a football player. He had fantastic grades, graduating summa cum laude from ASU's business school with a marketing degree. After just three and a half years, he was even awarded a postgraduate scholarship to continue his education. It's incredibly rare for professional athletes to pursue higher education while playing at the same time. But Pat wasn't the kind of person to shy away from a challenge. He went on to pursue a master's degree in history from asu. Even as he declared for the NFL draft. Despite everything Pat had accomplished at asu, he still had his doubters. Plenty of people thought even if he did get drafted, he'd never make it off the practice squad. Once again, Pat set out to prove them wrong. In the 1998 NFL Draft, the Arizona Cardinals selected 21 year old Pat in the seventh round. His signing bonus was $21,000. Practically nothing in the realm of professional sports. Pat didn't let that faze him. He showed up for the first day of training on his beach cruiser bike, pedaling into the parking lot filled with Escalades and BMWs that Pat couldn't afford. He didn't care if his teammates thought he was an outcast. He just wanted to play football. And he did it really well. When the Cardinals coach ran the players through a 15 minute workout, Pat forced him to extend the exercise until he'd done the drills perfectly. That kind of mentality paid off and soon Pat had won the starting safety position. In the 1999 season, Pat set a Cardinals record for tackles with 155. The year after that, he broke the franchise record with 224 total. He loved every moment of it and he never wanted to stop playing for the Cardinals. He even turned down a multi year $9 million offer from the St. Louis Rams to stay in Arizona. Pat's fans loved his loyalty and the fact that he regularly gave back to the community. He volunteered with the Boys and Girls Club, read to young students in schools and worked with other local charities. The whole time, Pat was still pursuing his master's degree. Somehow between all that, he also found time to challenge himself with marathons and half Ironman triathlons. Life was good. But then 911 happened. The world changed, and so did Pat.

E (12:41)

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F (13:38)

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What do you have to lose?

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See terms.

B (14:10)

On September 11, 2001, two hijacked planes flew into the World Trade center buildings in New York City. When Americans woke up the next day, they looked at things differently. That was certainly the case for 24 year old Pat Tillman. The day after the attacks, Pat spoke to a reporter in the Arizona Cardinals locker room. He expressed his thoughts on service and sacrifice. He said, quote, at times like this, you stop and think about just how good we have it, what kind of system we live in and the freedoms we're allowed. A lot of my family has gone and fought in wars and I really haven't done a damn thing as far as laying myself on the line like that. Pat was probably thinking about his grandfather who'd been at Pearl harbor, or any of the other countless relatives his mom had told him about who served in the military. As Pat thought about their stories, he started to re evaluate things. Suddenly football seemed like nothing more than a game. Real life was out there on the battlefield and maybe Pat should be too. For the next seven or eight months, Pat considered what it would mean to fight for his country and what he would have to give up. One of the most difficult things would be leaving his high school sweetheart, Marie. The two got married in the spring of 2002 during the off season and they'd known each other since they were four years old, playing on the same youth soccer league team. Marie was Pat's first and only girlfriend, and he loved her very much. But the idea of serving in the military had been weighing on him. When he told Marie he was thinking about enlisting, she didn't try to stop him. She knew that once Pat Lat latched onto an idea, there was no changing his mind. But until he made his final decision, she would cherish the time she had with him. So they went on their honeymoon in the South Pacific. In Bora Bora. They had a blast, just the two of them. And by the end of it, Pat had made his choice. When they got home, Pat called his mom on Mother's Day, no less, and told her he was going to enlist in the Army. And it wasn't just him. His brother Kevin was joining him, too. Mary was devastated by the call. She worried that one of her sons would die in combat. And there was a part of Mary that felt like it was her fault. She knew all those stories she'd told Pat and the boys about their relatives had stuck with them. If she could have gone back in time, she might have changed how she talked about it. But like Pat's wife, Mary knew she couldn't convince her sons to change their minds. She wasn't a religious woman, but she prayed that they would stay safe. The boy's father, Pat Sr. Had more confidence. He joked that he felt sorry for anyone who saw Pat and Kevin coming toward them. His boys were unstoppable. They'd be just fine. After sharing the news with his family, Pat told the Arizona Cardinals that he needed to pause his NFL career. It came as a shock to everyone. Pat and his agent were in the middle of a contract negotiation for a three year extension and $3.6 million. No professional football player had walked away from a deal like that to go fight in a war. The media wanted more details. Reporters hounded Pat for interviews, but he refused to speak publicly about his choice. He knew his enlistment could be used as marketing for the military, but that's not why he was signing up. He was doing what he believed was right, and so was every other soldier out there. He didn't want the focus to be on him. Pat also recognized that if he was killed in action, his death could get spun into something it wasn't. So he made it clear in his enlistment papers that he didn't want a military funeral or any kind of government involvement. If he died, he wanted to be sent back to his family, and that was that. Just to be safe, he made a copy of the forms and sent them to his wife so she knew what his wishes were. 25 year old Pat officially enlisted in July of 2002 with a 3 year commitment. Coincidentally the same amount of time his new NFL contract would have been. But instead of playing for the Cardinals, he would be serving in the 2nd Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment, a special ops unit. Pat and his brother, 24 year old Kevin, went through the intense Training program in Fort Lewis, Washington. Then in 2003, they shipped out for their first combat tour in Iraq. They were a part of Operation Iraqi Freedom. At that point in time, Pat was probably the most famous soldier in an American uniform. Everyone was waiting to see how he fared. The guys on the ground in Iraq weren't sure what to expect when they heard Pat Tillman and his brother were joining them. Russell Bear was particularly skeptical. Russell had joined the Army Rangers on September 10, 2001. A day later, the terrorist attacks happened and everything changed. The job suddenly got much more dangerous. He couldn't understand why someone like Pat would leave behind his successful life to come to the Middle East. Especially when he knew what he was signing up for. Russell figured Pat had to be a stupid meathead jock who just wanted to shoot things. Or maybe he was angling for some political clout, putting himself on the map and expecting to be treated like a celebrity. But as soon as Russell met Pat, he realized he'd gotten it all wrong. Sure, Pat was strong and athletic and he could outperform the best of them. But he was also kind and curious. He liked learning about other people. He read Noam Chomsky and enjoyed a healthy debate. And he constantly questioned the world around him. That mentality led to doubts about the war. Like a lot of people, Pat had been convinced that the military had to go into Afghanistan after 9 11. But between his enlistment and deployment, the US had moved into Iraq instead. After declaring they had weapons of mass destruction. Pat wasn't sure it was the right decision. And over time, his doubts only grew. On April 1, 2003, Pat, Kevin and the rest of the Army Rangers in their unit were ordered to be on standby as backup for the rescue of Private First Class Jessica Lynch. It was a big mission. A week earlier, Jessica's company had been ambushed by Iraqi troops and she'd been captured. She'd reportedly engaged the enemy in a fierce firefight before they took her prisoner, which meant in all likelihood she was being tortured. They had to get her back now. Despite the urgency of the mission, the Rangers were told to wait for further instructions. Pat couldn't make sense of it. Shouldn't Special Forces be barreling toward the door to rescue her? And yet Pat, Kevin, and Russell sat on top of a bunker watching bombs go off in the distance. That was the first time Russell heard Pat question what they were doing. Using his favorite word, Pat said, quote, you know, this war is just so effing illegal. Sure enough, Pat was right to be skeptical. It turned out Jessica hadn't fired her weapon or been tortured. But the military didn't want anyone to know that they'd ordered the delay because they wanted to get a combat camera crew in to record the mission. The videos were beamed back to the States, where news shows ran them on a loop. Back in Iraq, Pat recognized what was going on. The military was using Jessica to drum up good PR for the war they were losing, and Pat would rather die than let them do the same to him.

H (23:43)

You open the fridge, there's nothing there. So what's it gonna be?

A (23:47)

Greasy pizza?

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J (24:44)

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B (25:04)

In 2003, 25 year old Pat Tillman deployed to Iraq for his first successful combat tour. When it was over, he returned home to Arizona for a brief leave before heading back for his second tour. But then he got an unexpected offer. Another NFL team, not the Cardinals, had approached Pat's agent. They said there might be a way to get Pat out of his service commitment. There had been some back channel dealings and apparently the military was willing to discharge Pat with honors so that he could return to the NFL. It would have been easy for Pat to take the offer and run. After all, he didn't even believe in the war anymore. What was the point of going back and putting his life on the line? But for Pat, his values, honor, integrity and dignity were everything. Although he thought the war was unethical, he'd made a commitment. He couldn't back out halfway. He never would have been able to live with himself. So he went back to fulfill the rest of his service, this time to Afghanistan. But he told his NFL coaches that he was looking forward to coming back and playing for them soon. In the spring of 2004, 27 year old PAT deployed again, joining his battalion for Operation Enduring Freedom. He was stationed in one of the most dangerous locations, eastern Afghanistan's host province near the border of Pakistan. His platoon consisted of about 40 Army Rangers. Alongside them was a group of Afghan militia fighters, AMF soldiers who often accompanied U.S. forces into remote valleys and mountain passes. The work was dangerous and unpredictable, but Pat was still as committed as ever. On April 22, the platoon was ordered into the mountains to conduct a reconnaissance sweep near the border. It should have been a straightforward mission. Move through the terrain, check villages for activity and keep pushing. But nothing in that part of Afghanistan ever stayed straightforward for long. Somewhere along the route, one of the platoon's vehicles broke down. They were stuck for six hours in a small village while the sun beat down and tempers flared. The Rangers on the ground wanted to stay together and fix the vehicle so they could move as one unit. But commanders back at the operating base had other ideas. They ordered the platoon to split in two. One convoy would remain with the disabled vehicle and try to tow it out. And the other, Pat's convoy, would carry on with the mission and press deeper into the mountains. The decision baffled the men, but orders were orders. Pat's half of the platoon entered a steep, narrow canyon. They moved carefully, checking all over for enemy fighters. When they came out the other side, they reached a small village sprawled across a rolling hill, dotted with a few compounds. They got out of their vehicles, stretched their legs, and finally exhaled. That's when they heard an explosion echoing from the canyon. The same one they had just made their way through. Back in that narrow pass, the second convoy, with Pat's brother Kevin, was towing the broken vehicle. And they'd run into trouble, or what they believed was trouble. What exactly happened in those moments depends on who you ask. Some soldiers said it felt like an ambush. Maybe a rocket propelled grenade launched from high on the canyon wall. Others weren't so sure. Nobody ever saw more than one or two figures at a Time and even those memories are fuzzy. One Ranger later said it might have been an accidental weapons discharge from one of their own soldiers. Others swore they heard incoming rounds. Mortars, small arms fire, something. But one thing isn't in dispute. The second convoy responded with overwhelming force. Rangers unleashed everything they had into the canyon walls. As they tried to push their way through, gunfire echoed in, ricocheted in ways that made it impossible to tell who was shooting at who. Hearing the chaos behind them, Pat and the men in his convoy sprinted back toward the canyon to help. Pat climbed up a ridgeline where he believed he could get a better vantage point. He told one of his soldiers, Brian o', Neill, to stick with him. One of the AMF soldiers, Syed Farhad, came too. Pat even asked if he could ditch his body armor to move faster. His sergeant told him absolutely not. By the time Pat reached the top of the ridge, the sun was dropping behind the mountains, flooding the valley with blinding light. Below them, the second convoy finally emerged from the canyon. Then things got worse. The Rangers in the second convoy were exhausted, rattled and disoriented by the glare of the sun. When they saw figures on the ridge, they assumed the worst, especially because one appeared to be an Afghan soldier holding an AK47. In the confusion, someone opened up with machine gun fire. Others followed. The Afghan they saw was Syed Farhad. He was hit eight times in the chest. He collapsed instantly. There were screams of ceasefire at that point, but some soldiers still thought they were under attack up on the ridge. Brian thought they were all about to die. Russell Bear, who had also been in the first convoy, was still by the village at that point. He held his finger on the trigger of his gun, hesitating. The men in the canyon were his brothers in arms and he didn't want to fire at them, but he felt like if he didn't, they were going to kill him and everyone in the first convoy. He was a second away from pulling the trigger. Then, amid the chaos, Pat popped a smoke grenade, trying to get his fellow soldiers to stop. And for a moment, the gunfire halted. Pat and Brian stood up, hearts racing as they tried to catch their breath. They thought it was over. But then the soldiers in the second convoy began firing again. This time, Pat shouted the only thing he could think of, the one thing he believed would cut through, through the noise. I'm Pat Tillman. I'm Pat fucking Tillman. Why are you shooting at me? He kept yelling, even after he'd been hit, even after he went down, even as he bled out on that ridge in Host province until finally Pat took his last breath. In the days that followed, the people of the United States heard a version of events that looked very different from what Pat's fellow soldiers had witnessed. What actually happened that day would be debated for years, but eventually Pat's family and his country would learn the truth, and it was much more complicated than the military had let on. Thanks so much for listening. I'm Carter Roy and this is Murder True Crime Stories. Come back next time for part two on the murder of Pat Tillman and all the people people it affected Murder True Crime Stories is a Crime House original powered by Pave Studios. Here at Crime House, we want to thank each and every one of you for your support. If you like what you heard today, reach out on social media, Rimehouse on TikTok and Instagram. Don't forget to rate, review and follow Murder True Crime Stories wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback truly makes a difference. And to enhance your Murder True Crime Stories listening experience, subscribe to Crime House plus on Apple Podcasts. You'll get every episode early and ad free. We'll be back on Thursday. True Crime Stories is hosted by me, Carter Roy, and is a Crime House original powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the Murder True Crime Stories team. Max Cutler, Ron Shapiro, Alex Benedon, Natalie Pertofsky, Sarah Camp, Alex Burns, Hania Said and Russell Nash. Thank you for listening.

A (35:26)

Looking for your next listen. Hi, it's Vanessa Richardson and I have exciting news. Conspiracy Theories, Cults and Crimes is leveling up starting the week of January 12th. You'll be getting two episodes every week. Wednesdays we unravel the conspiracy or the cult and on Fridays we look at a corresponding crime. Follow Conspiracy Theories, Cults and Crimes now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music or wherever you listen.