MBMBaM 739: Face 2 Face: Munch Squad Works For Me Now

Summary

Podcast Summary: MBMBaM 739: Face 2 Face: Munch Squad Works For Me Now

Podcast Information

• Title: My Brother, My Brother And Me
• Host/Authors: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy
• Episode: MBMBaM 739: Face 2 Face: Munch Squad Works For Me Now
• Release Date: November 25, 2024

---

1. Introduction and Opening Banter

The episode kicks off with Travis humorously disclaiming that the McElroy brothers aren’t experts despite offering advice, immediately setting the tone for the show’s playful and irreverent nature.

Travis McElroy [00:00]: "The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed."

Griffin and Justin join in with their characteristic whimsical interactions, establishing a lighthearted atmosphere.

---

2. The Arby's Potato Cakes Fake Commercial

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a comical fictional promotional segment for Arby's potato cakes. The brothers mockingly create an over-the-top commercial, highlighting fan passion for potato cakes while satirizing corporate marketing tactics.

Clint McElroy [25:29]: "This July, Arby's is answering fans' calls to bring back potato cakes, a fan favorite."

They hilariously critique the absurdity of corporate endorsements and fan-driven campaigns, complete with exaggerated enthusiasm and ludicrous slogans.

Travis McElroy [26:37]: "We didn't want to. We fucking hate these things. But you guys."

The segment parodies intense fan loyalty and the sometimes nonsensical nature of limited-time menu item revivals.

---

3. Audience Questions: Delivery Dilemmas and Neighbor's Bookshelf

Listeners submit questions that the brothers tackle with their signature blend of humor and absurdity. One notable question involves the dilemma of receiving packages on the porch, debating whether to greet delivery drivers or let packages wait.

Clint McElroy [07:00]: "If you go over and grab it, the neighbor's like, whoa, hey, that's my miracle tarp."

The lively discussion explores various humorous strategies to handle mundane yet relatable situations, such as overthinking simple interactions and envisioning outlandish consequences.

Another listener asks about a neighbor leaving a large wooden bookshelf in their yard, specifically how to handle the tarp-covered shelf.

Clint McElroy [11:19]: "If you make others blind into."

The brothers brainstorm ridiculous solutions, ranging from "reverse heists" to mythical explanations, showcasing their creative yet comedic problem-solving approach.

---

4. Squarespace Pitch and Advertising

In a seamless transition, the brothers incorporate a promotional segment for Squarespace, advocating it as the ideal platform for building websites. Their pitch is embedded within the conversation, maintaining the show's informal and engaging style.

Travis McElroy [37:02]: "So go to squarespace.com for a free trial when you're ready to Launch..."

They emphasize the ease of use and professional templates, humorously bemoaning their audience's reluctance to adopt the technology despite its benefits.

Griffin McElroy [37:24]: "We're so successful. It's so easy, and it makes your stuff look good."

The integration of genuine product promotion with comedic elements keeps the advertisement entertaining and in line with the podcast's overall vibe.

---

5. Live Audience Interaction: Headstone Sales Tactics

During the live show segment, a listener named Paul seeks advice on injecting fun into his sales pitch for headstones. The brothers respond with a mix of absurd suggestions and over-the-top humor, demonstrating their unique approach to conventional problems.

Travis McElroy [49:15]: "First, start talking about, like, a celebrity endorsement. Like, this is the headstone like John Wayne uses..."

They playfully critique traditional sales tactics and propose outlandish ideas, such as AI-updated headstones and humorous inscriptions, highlighting their creative but unconventional thinking.

Clint McElroy [50:43]: "We have to flush. Cause if you don't, it's hot."

The interaction underscores their ability to entertain while addressing listener concerns, blending practical advice with their signature comedic flair.

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6. Hot Air Balloons Landing in Yards

Another audience question addresses the nuisance of hot air balloons landing in a listener's yard. The brothers tackle the issue with exaggerated solutions and fantastical reasoning, embodying their comedic take on everyday problems.

Griffin McElroy [60:27]: "They have people on the ground. They come driving up my driveway with walkie talkies..."

They explore humorous preventative measures, such as installing cactuses on roofs or setting up outposts, maintaining an entertaining discussion throughout.

Travis McElroy [62:05]: "Katie, you need to put a bunch of cactuses on your roof."

Their playful banter provides a lighthearted exploration of the listener's predicament, reinforcing the show's engaging and humorous nature.

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7. Conclusion and Final Remarks

As the episode wraps up, the brothers transition into closing segments, including shout-outs to contributors and humorous reflections on the show's content. They maintain their energetic and playful dynamic, leaving listeners entertained and eager for future episodes.

Clint McElroy [69:00]: "Thank you so much, Paul. Have you ever done..."

They conclude with exaggerated goodbyes and final jokes, ensuring the episode ends on a high note of laughter and camaraderie.

Justin McElroy [72:05]: "It's better with you, my life, it's better it's better with you."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Travis McElroy [00:00]: "The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed."

• Clint McElroy [25:29]: "This July, Arby's is answering fans' calls to bring back potato cakes, a fan favorite."

• Travis McElroy [37:02]: "So go to squarespace.com for a free trial when you're ready to Launch..."

• Travis McElroy [49:15]: "First, start talking about, like, a celebrity endorsement. Like, this is the headstone like John Wayne uses..."

• Griffin McElroy [60:27]: "They have people on the ground. They come driving up my driveway with walkie talkies..."

• Justin McElroy [72:05]: "It's better with you, my life, it's better it's better with you."

---

Conclusion

In MBMBaM 739, the McElroy brothers blend their trademark humor with creative problem-solving, addressing listener questions with a mix of wit and absurdity. From mocking corporate campaigns to offering hilarious advice on mundane issues, the episode embodies the essence of "My Brother, My Brother And Me"—an engaging, laughter-filled experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Travis McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby?

[Griffin McElroy]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Justin McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life it feels like life it's better it's better with you it's better it's better with you this is.

[Clint McElroy]

True.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better it's better with two.

[Clint McElroy]

It'S better with you Would you guys like to learn an interesting fact about mushrooms? If I were to ask you, are they plants or animals?

[Travis McElroy]

They're fungus.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's plasma. I'm pretty sure it's the fourth state of.

[Travis McElroy]

No, it's fungus. Because the study of mushrooms isn't botany, it's mycology.

[Clint McElroy]

Okay, Griffin?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I wasn't listening to the show before, so I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

I just knew that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, cool.

[Clint McElroy]

If I were to say, are they animals or plants, what would you say?

[Griffin McElroy]

I would say, what's an animal?

[Travis McElroy]

Damn.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks. In a lot of ways, plants is animals. Some of them eat bugs. Yeah, that's sort of our thing. Animals, that is.

[Clint McElroy]

Look how carefully the little spider spins the web around. The fact that he doesn't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know.

[Clint McElroy]

Yes. All right, moving on. Welcome to our show. So happy to not be alone anymore. And we are so happy to be here with you here in Clevel. This is an advice show. I don't know if you've ever seen one of those before.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, we haven't said our names yet, Justin. Why not?

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, weirdly, you sort of hopped in immediately with fun mushroom facts.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, to be fair, you started talking about dad karate chopping the.

[Clint McElroy]

Okay. Yes, thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

But to be fair, my pants and crotch are super duper wet.

[Travis McElroy]

With white claw.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. With white claw.

[Justin McElroy]

Woo woo.

[Clint McElroy]

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McIlroy.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, what's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middlest brother, big dog. Woof woof. Travis McIlroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's hard to know when to get in there with my thing during the woof woof.

[Travis McElroy]

I know.

[Griffin McElroy]

With applause, I'm like, oh, it's dying down. The woof woof just seems to Continue.

[Travis McElroy]

Even when it's not being done. It's in their hearts.

[Griffin McElroy]

It really is. I'm the sweet baby one. Griffin McElroy.

[Clint McElroy]

That's nice.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, now that we know you can hit that level, let's start back at Justin and go through again.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a special relationship I have with Cleveland.

[Travis McElroy]

How's your tummy?

[Griffin McElroy]

Not good.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So let me tell you the arc that happened, but Griffin's villain arc and.

[Clint McElroy]

It'S to himself, right?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, 100%. We drove here and this is what I saw today. We stopped at a rest stop.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's not going to be funny for a while.

[Travis McElroy]

So we stopped at a rest stop. It had a bunch of like restaurant and quick service places. And Griffin at 11:30 said, I can just bypass lunch and eat here. And everyone's like, yeah, it's 11:30. That makes sense.

[Griffin McElroy]

He got a pastry, everybody else got lunch. I didn't want to commit because I didn't want to eat Panera Bread. I'm sorry if that makes me a villain. Wait, so hold on just to understand that. Woo. Were you excited to hear the name Panera Bread or do you just fucking hate Panera Bread so much that. Okay, kick ass.

[Travis McElroy]

It's hate. So then cut to 4:30 when we arrive at the venue and Griffin's like, fuck, I should have eaten lunch, I'm so hungry.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Then he sees pepperoni rolls. Yeah, I've been provided by the vineyard.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now listen, my hind brain did a lot of stuff before my more evolved forebrain could get a hand on the ball. It was already in the microwave for 20 seconds. And then I scorped that bad boy right down my.

[Travis McElroy]

Within each of us is a deep vein of West Virginia dirt. Bang.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And Gurman's like, oh yeah, pepperoni. Didn't even think about it. And he was like, that did me. So. Right. And then a ticking clock began.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's.

[Travis McElroy]

And I think 23 and a half minutes went by. We were doing soundcheck and Griffin's like, I need to leave the stage right now.

[Clint McElroy]

Griffin, the day before this went to a coin operated arcade museum with me. And while there, it's called Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's incredible.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. You've been there. If you have. It's a coin operated museum full of machines that date back to the 1900s and before. And yes, my, my brother Griffin did order a hot dog there.

[Travis McElroy]

From the machine?

[Clint McElroy]

No, from the counter there.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, thank God.

[Clint McElroy]

When she described Travis, I swear to.

[Griffin McElroy]

God, it popped right out of the Teenage Mutant ninja turtles arcade machine. Fully cooked, fully dressed.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd eat that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

Hell yeah. Which he described. He described as the most wrinkly thing he's ever seen.

[Griffin McElroy]

It was pretty wrinkly.

[Clint McElroy]

Moments before whorfing it into his mouth in three bites and minutes before complaining about the intestinal distress that the coin operated arcade hot dog was causing him.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you guys just wanna let me know where the cool hospital is.

[Clint McElroy]

But, Griffin, it's like daily, man. The little plastic castle's a surprise every time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, you know, the cats away.

[Clint McElroy]

No, you're the cat.

[Travis McElroy]

No, who's the cat?

[Griffin McElroy]

You're the cat. Hey, if I don't have supervision of any kind from people who love me and feel some responsibility over me, I make bad food choices constantly. I'm like a little baby over here.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, I wanna say, because this has come up multiple times on the show recently where you're like, you guys talk about me like I'm a child.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah. Before we went to the museum, Griffin was like, I'm so hungry. And I was like, I have some fresh fruit in my room. And you said, no, I'll find something there.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I did.

[Travis McElroy]

And then when we, your brothers, are like, hey, bud, you need to take care of yourself, we're like, I'm not a child. Now watch me eat this hot dog. It's the wrinkliest thing I've ever seen.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pepperoni roll was good as hell, though. Thank you so much. Hey, let's start the show. Instead of talking about how brave I'm being, I think we can all agree by appearing on this stage here tonight.

[Clint McElroy]

I was.

[Travis McElroy]

If Griffin has to leave the stage for a moment, no one make a big deal out of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't write that check for me unless you're ready to cash it.

[Travis McElroy]

Travis, I'm trying to look out for you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I appreciate it.

[Clint McElroy]

I was sitting on my porch, as I often do during the summer, and a delivery driver pulled up with a package. What should I do in this situation? If I go inside, that makes me seem rude or anxious. If I get up and walk away halfway to meet them, it seems like maybe I'm trying to steal it or I'm overeager. If I greet them and let them put the package on the porch, I feel like I'm acting better than them or that I don't appreciate their efforts. I've ordered a lot of online stuff and I really enjoy my porch, so this will probably happen a lot. Help.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wish this mean delivery man would stop bugging me.

[Clint McElroy]

That's from overthinking in Ohio. Are you here? Hi.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. I love the long con worry of you were sitting on the porch and then met them halfway to steal it. As if you thought, I'm a neighbor and they get good shit here. I'm gonna wait on the porch till something comes. Just in case there's a delivery today.

[Clint McElroy]

Oh, it's the perfect crime. I'll just get a lawn chair and sit out there and wait.

[Griffin McElroy]

Make sure they see my face and everything when they hand it to me.

[Clint McElroy]

Never be there again. It's perfect.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, I was gonna suggest you could, like, mark out an area for the bag and say, just right there. But that does seem like a trap, doesn't it?

[Griffin McElroy]

It does.

[Travis McElroy]

That's gonna open up and drop them into a pit or something in there.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, they're looking out for that kind of thing. Boy, things sure have changed since we were kids, huh? Sheesh.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, go off, go off, King.

[Clint McElroy]

Like you never see Mr. Rogers, like, putting on his slippers. Like, won't you be. Oh, fuck, it's me feeling. Kids, get out of here.

[Travis McElroy]

Close. Close the blinds.

[Clint McElroy]

Close the blinds. Guys, she's gone.

[Travis McElroy]

I think he's gone. He's gone.

[Clint McElroy]

He just left it out there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Clang, clang. Pretend to be asleep. Right now they can see us through the windows.

[Travis McElroy]

When the delivery driver comes, just look at him and go, yes, please. Give me package. Give me package. And then you say, no, no, no, stay. It's a one on one unboxing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, and subscribe. I got.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't cry, I got Twister in the mail. Let's play it together.

[Clint McElroy]

Here's. When you're confused about social interaction, here's what I tend to default to. How stoked am I gonna be not to have to walk up that driveway? And the answer is very stoked. Thank you. Thanks for coming to meet me. I appreciate it. I didn't wanna carry the box all the way down. If you come up to get it. As a delivery driver, I think as a delivery driver, I'm stoked.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you.

[Clint McElroy]

That was very nice of you.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you, Justin. Then you've never been in the position where you meet them halfway and then they have to take a picture proving they delivered it. I'm fucking holding it in the a thing that has happened to me. So then I get texted a picture with my hands.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I wanted to do some tasteful portraits of me in my SodaStream refill tank. I'll treasure this forever, Michael. Thank you.

[Clint McElroy]

That is a Cheap way of getting family portraits done.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, this is my new social media platform. Too real.

[Clint McElroy]

I also think that there is a.

[Griffin McElroy]

Proximity that is too close for you to come to meet them to get the package. You don't want to be standing on the curb just kind of bouncing up and. Well, the Wells Fargo wagon is a rapid round.

[Clint McElroy]

No, you're wrong. On the curb. Could be accidental. If you're on the house and then you sprint up to the curb, that's not good either.

[Travis McElroy]

But if you're standing on the curb doing this. Yeah, just back and forth. Are they coming? Now, there's also. I don't know how big the porch is, but if you're too far away from this, like, if it's a big porch and you're at the far end of the porch and you just watch them come up and leave it and leave. That's actually. That's the worst version for me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Clint McElroy]

I thought you were gonna go a.

[Travis McElroy]

Different way endorsing this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, you said if it's a big enough porch, which made me think, how big a porch does this gotta be for you to hold?

[Travis McElroy]

If it's a wraparound, you're around the corner.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

Now that. Okay, now that would be bad to see that happening as you're coming up to the corner.

[Travis McElroy]

I actually picture myself doing it as it happens.

[Clint McElroy]

Clump, clump, clump.

[Travis McElroy]

I should be arrested.

[Griffin McElroy]

How about another question?

[Clint McElroy]

Our new neighbor has been slowly moving in next door and left a large wooden bookshelf in their yard. The next day, it started raining, and I thought it'd be a good neighbor and covered the shelf with a tarp to protect it. It's been a week now, the rain has passed, and the neighbor has been to the house multiple times since then, and they have not acknowledged the tarp wrapped shelf in their yard. Brothers, I'm not looking for praise for being a good neighbor, but I do want my tarp back at some point. Do I just take it back? Do I have to cover the shelf back up? If it rains again, do I wait till they acknowledge it? What do I do? That's from Tarpless in Clock.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you here? Woo.

[Clint McElroy]

All right. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, one time, there was a big old windstorm in Cincinnati.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe you guys have heard of it. And someone in our neighborhood's trampoline blew, like two blocks over.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And I've always thought that if I woke up in the morning and there was just suddenly a trampoline in my backyard, where once there was none, I would have a Thought of, thank you, God.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And so perhaps your neighbor was like, what are the chances it started raining and a big wind blew a tarbover to cover my bookshelf? Miracles really do happen.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, it's such a blessing. Like, the universe did that for you. You're not going to question the universe.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And then if you go over and grab it, the neighbor's like, whoa, hey, that's my miracle tarp.

[Clint McElroy]

The universe did that for me. You know how in algebra they love when you, like, do it backwards? Like, that's the first part I saw. But it's like, okay, first make it backwards. Do you get it? Now, this, I feel like, is a really good example of. You have to think of the inverse of this question. And if you would also send it into this podcast, you have probably made a mistake at some point. If someone's like, hey, I put a bookshelf outside, and I was about to bring it in, and then my neighbor ran over and covered it with a tarp. And now I don't wanna take the bookshelf in. Cause that's like, I'm stealing their tarp.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it theirs now?

[Clint McElroy]

Is it theirs now? Did they claim my bookshelf? Sincerely, should I move?

[Griffin McElroy]

And then we'd be like, yeah, man, you gotta get out of here.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you gotta get out there. Trying to kidnap your bookcase.

[Clint McElroy]

That's so weird. Horses, ghosts, whatever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe they thought it looked. And we'd be like, maybe they thought it looked cold and they're just trying to put a bookshelf shirt on it. And then you guys would be like, that doesn't. That's not funny, Griffin. And I'd be like, whatever, man. And then I'd be weirdly quiet for the rest of the episode.

[Clint McElroy]

So thank goodness you're not that.

[Griffin McElroy]

So glad we didn't get that question, guys. Sliding doors.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah. What a miracle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe they wanted it wet.

[Clint McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe it was dirty and they wanted the rain to wash it off.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe that was a bookcase they got from a relative they don't like. Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

Maybe they wanted a good excuse to throw it away. And that swelling of the wood is exactly what they were waiting for. Oh, no, it's trash now.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe it's the laziest bird house on Earth.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe they thought they were putting together a sort of tiny public library, but didn't really know how it works or anything.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe they're afraid it's haunted now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe it does look like. Probably a big, blue, eyeless ghost. Can you sneak over to their yard?

[Travis McElroy]

And clearly clearly, yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

And discreetly steal the bookshelf out from under the tarp while leaving it.

[Travis McElroy]

The prestige is.

[Clint McElroy]

Don't steal it. If you're gonna do that, you have to get it into their home.

[Griffin McElroy]

Put it into their home.

[Travis McElroy]

Reverse heist. Justin, I'm hearing you.

[Clint McElroy]

Yes, I. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

If you're gonna do that, load it up with books, too. Come on, man.

[Clint McElroy]

Oh, yeah. It's the least you could do.

[Griffin McElroy]

Start covering other shit in their yard with tarps.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like one a week. Really slow. Roll this.

[Travis McElroy]

We just want to keep it free of dust for when madam returns from her estate. Yes.

[Clint McElroy]

Okay. I have one foolproof saw for this. It's a little bit of work, but you're gonna need to put one of your bookshelves outside, and then you take the tarp back and put it on yours. You're like, I'm sorry. I've only got one tarp. And a lot of people on this street. One of the normal things we do is put bookshelves outside. So I'm glad you heard about that. You're already on that tip. That's very cool of you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does your bookshelf also stink like rancid shit? Cause mine does. That's why it lives outside. No, I know it doesn't. Cause I got real close to it when I put the tarp on.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, that was me. I know I should have said something to you about it at any point.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tired of this moment, I came back in, told my wife, I don't know why they put the bookshelf outside. It doesn't stink like rancid shit like ours does.

[Clint McElroy]

I take the train into work every day, and every day I find myself jealous of the conductors in their sweet hats. I've been pining for one of those hats since I was a child. Unfortunately, there's nowhere I can find that sells them. Meaning I'd have to get one straight from the source. How can convince one of these conductors to give me their hat? Should I offer them money or something? That's from languishing on the Long Island Railroad.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you here? No. On that train, Living that train life, baby. I don't blame you. Hey, I'd rather be on a fucking train than on this stage doing a show right now. I love trains.

[Travis McElroy]

I get it. Offering money isn't gonna work. That's the number one thing that they teach them to. Hey, can I give you money for a hat? This is the test.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah. Because they have to be incorruptible. Because the biggest Danger for trained guys is somebody's gonna be like, I give you $100 if you pass these next three stops. I'm in a huge rush. It's gotta be like, you gotta have somebody who's like, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that.

[Travis McElroy]

That's why they're paid so well.

[Clint McElroy]

Right. I'm incorruptible. Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

All the power is in the hat. With the hat on, you can go right into the captain's chamber and say, we're going backwards. All of a sudden. Wee.

[Travis McElroy]

We've got to break. 88 miles per hour. I'm never getting back to Hill Valley. Now. Let me ask you this. When you say straight to the source, do you think the conductor is the source?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's also my question, is they buy the hats also. It's not like when they get the job, the conductor's like fontanelle spreads open and a hat.

[Travis McElroy]

See, I was thinking more of like a make your own lightsaber thing. It's not like, well, there's one last step you must complete. And they send them into the woods and then they come back with their own conductor's hat. And how they made it is each.

[Griffin McElroy]

One'S journey to Lids at the mall to get their hat.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't think Lids sells conductor hats.

[Clint McElroy]

I bet if you any job you want, our hats give you the power of that job. Welcome to Lids.

[Griffin McElroy]

Be a firefighter guy.

[Clint McElroy]

We got a hat for that here at Lint.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd like a Lids employee's hat. God damn it. Dang it.

[Clint McElroy]

You thought of it, huh? We always are worried somebody's gonna pull that on us.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's gotta be a service that sells uniforms for jobs.

[Clint McElroy]

Centos.

[Travis McElroy]

Right?

[Clint McElroy]

That's all they do not. Yeah, no, not that. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

It could be. The problem is I don't think you can call one of those services and get one of something, because they're just going to assume that you're in a heist and you need to disguise something.

[Travis McElroy]

I think at this point, probably catch em if you can. Is like required viewing for uniform provider.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Where they're like, no, no, no. If a guy just shows up and like, I lost mine.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's play that scene out. Let's play that scene. Okay. You lost yours. Where is it?

[Travis McElroy]

I lost it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Clint McElroy]

Where'd you lose it?

[Travis McElroy]

If I knew that.

[Clint McElroy]

Okay, well, let me ask you this. Is it on the train?

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck. Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

Okay. Because if he had said, no, I'll do that. Right. Is it on the train?

[Griffin McElroy]

Nah, man, I was going too fast on the train with the window open. It flew right off the window, man.

[Travis McElroy]

You gotta help me out.

[Griffin McElroy]

I grew it myself.

[Clint McElroy]

One of the main rules we have is you don't take your hat off and you don't take it off the train. So if it's not off the train, I don't know how you lost it.

[Griffin McElroy]

So you're saying that every conductor has to leave their hat in the train before they get off the train?

[Clint McElroy]

I'm saying if you suddenly don't have a hat, you're going to have to do some explaining to your bosses about where your hat went because they're on guard for it. That's the number one thing you have to do, is not lose the hat. Because they cannot have other people pretending to drive the trains is wholly unacceptable.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't think the conductor drives the train.

[Clint McElroy]

We are torn about this.

[Travis McElroy]

Currently, he's a conductor, a plant, or an animal.

[Clint McElroy]

There's been a lot of back and forth about this. Fair enough.

[Travis McElroy]

Science isn't sure.

[Clint McElroy]

I drink coffee every day, so I go through a lot of mugs. My roommate has mugs with pictures of him and his fiance on them. So my question. Oh, look.

[Travis McElroy]

Did you summer in France?

[Griffin McElroy]

Is it the word fiance?

[Travis McElroy]

No. Did you hear the pronunciation? Griffin.

[Clint McElroy]

Then my question is, would it be weird?

[Travis McElroy]

Say it again.

[Clint McElroy]

Okay. I drink coffee every day, so I go through a lot of mugs. My roommate has mugs with our pictures of him and his fiance on them. So my question is, would it be weird to drink out of them? I don't want to unnecessarily run the dishwasher for half a load, but I don't want to seem weird putting my mouth on something that has my picture of my roommate and his beloved on it. That's from seeking to be caffeinated in, not Cleveland.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you here?

[Clint McElroy]

All right.

[Travis McElroy]

Hello?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, wait. Hold on. Very important follow up. Is your roommate here? Thank God.

[Travis McElroy]

Awesome. Now, listen, I picked this question, and we chose this question. And it wasn't until hearing my brother read it that I processed them as not the mugs, but thinking about it as drinking out of them. My roommate and his fiance.

[Clint McElroy]

But you're not.

[Travis McElroy]

And when I thought about it in that way, the answer is so obvious to me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, do you think that when the room.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I don't think that's what they meant.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no, I know, but for a moment there, you definitely did think that when the roommate drank out of this mug with his own Picture of him and his wife on it. He was like, mm, drinking out of me and my wife. Yeah. All right, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not saying like we're drinking out of me and my wife. More of like my wife and I's. Love has warmed my coffee.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think there's a way to drink out of your roommate and fiance mug. And my immediate thought is straw will help get you out of this situation.

[Clint McElroy]

That seems weirder to me. That seems weirder.

[Griffin McElroy]

Seems weirder to you to not. I'm really.

[Clint McElroy]

So it was like if you needed to briefly. If you're making a movie and you need to very briefly communicate that the roommate was a problem, the number one way you would do it is by having them drink out of your special love mug. Right? Like if they're. If you see like, yeah. Burp like, well, we gotta get rid of the roommate. Right? Clearly he's the problem in this. He's the third wheel.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's like you're doing a big kiss on it though. Kinda. Huh?

[Clint McElroy]

It is like you're kind of trying to see.

[Griffin McElroy]

I see that. And I'm an extremely weirdly jealous roommate. Are you kissing a picture of my fiance and me?

[Travis McElroy]

Also there is. There is a moment for me where if I'm the roommate and I'm like, why won't he use those mugs?

[Clint McElroy]

You think it's weird to not like.

[Travis McElroy]

I think they're really nice mugs. I don't understand. They're always the last ones left. We put them in the mug things that people would use them or else we put them in our special hidden spot.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you just scratch their faces off the mugs?

[Travis McElroy]

Put a sticker of your own face next to them?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Or on top of the fiance.

[Clint McElroy]

Can you make it a little bit more of a thing? Like you're really celebrating it Time to have. As you're drinking, you're like, yep, that's the love I'm crazy about.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can really taste the Kevin and Patricia.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, are you guys microwave safe.

[Clint McElroy]

Again? Travis. They're not drinking out of the roommates. And I can't make that clear enough to.

[Griffin McElroy]

You start getting your own mugs with pictures of you going on it.

[Clint McElroy]

Hey though. But can you get a mug that has a picture of you drinking out of their mug on it and then see who drinks out of that motherfucker?

[Travis McElroy]

Arms race. Jama mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama.

[Clint McElroy]

I want a munch. I want to munch.

[Travis McElroy]

I saw it get stuck in your face.

[Griffin McElroy]

I thought you Saw your sleep paralysis demon in the waking daytime hours.

[Clint McElroy]

I saw everything in you.

[Travis McElroy]

Tense up and try to push it out.

[Clint McElroy]

It's thematic. The return is here. Fan favorite potato cakes are back at Arby's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shit, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

I really. I have a new.

[Clint McElroy]

That's all the.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have a new voice, inside out style in my brain. And it's just the pepperoni roll who's like, I don't want to fucking look at that right now, man. Get that out of here. Joy is like, yum, yum. I love fried potato cakes. Disgust is like, I don't know. But the pepperoni roll is like, get.

[Clint McElroy]

That shit outta here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Or I'm pushing the yarts button.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you mean hash browns? Hash browns.

[Clint McElroy]

No, Trav, it's Arby's. So it's potato cakes. And Kyle McLaughlin is gonna explain why you should join the order of potato cake.

[Travis McElroy]

And he's here tonight.

[Clint McElroy]

This July, Arby's is answering fans calls to bring back potato cakes, a fan favorite. Potato cakes have passionate fan bases across the social media, insisting on the return of the shredded potato fried to a crispy golden brown.

[Travis McElroy]

There's no better building material, says fans.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man. I've been plugged into social media these last couple weeks because of the news, and, man, it's hard to follow because of all these people demanding potato cakes to come back.

[Clint McElroy]

At Arby's, the iconic side is gracing Arby's menus nationwide for a limited time.

[Travis McElroy]

Do they use the word gracing?

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, Trav, it says gracing Arby's menu. Gracing Arby's menu. I mean, maybe for the past three years, Arby's fans have mourned the loss of their beloved potato cakes. Mourn what? Mourn the loss. Do you know how fucking sad it is that the Arby's is like, well, we can't sell them the fried potatoes they love ebook. It's just too expensive. They're potatoes. We have to fry them. We can't make the numbers work.

[Griffin McElroy]

But Arby's. Hey, Arby's. Hey, Arby's. Three years ago, there was some other stuff happening globally that also had us pretty bummed out.

[Travis McElroy]

That also maybe might have had an impact on sales. Potatoes.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know, man. Sales. It's fucking April 2020. I'm looking at our sales. I don't get it. They've fallen off the face of the earth. They must just be so sad about the potato cakes.

[Clint McElroy]

You guys are living a pretty privileged life. If at some point in 2021. You didn't have to say out loud. This too. You're taking this too, huh?

[Travis McElroy]

All right.

[Clint McElroy]

Thank you. My last bit of joy. Potato cakes from the y'all. In the past year alone.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't cry. It's okay.

[Clint McElroy]

In the past year alone, potato cake has been mentioned more than 10,000 times on social media. That's not a lot. With loyalists issuing passionate pleas for the revival. Why do you have to justify selling hash browns? Just sell them. Or don't.

[Travis McElroy]

We didn't want to. We didn't want to. We fucking hate these things. But you guys.

[Clint McElroy]

From the thousands of social posts to online petitions and even dedicated fan accounts, Arby knows the true adoration of potato cakes devotees and is eager to please. Paul, do you have the video handy?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, God.

[E]

Hello, and welcome to the Order of potato Cakes.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, hold on.

[Clint McElroy]

No, don't knew.

[E]

In the comments section, some might say you were obsessive or deluded. Heck, some might consider it corporate harassment. But in the order of potato cakes, we call it passion.

[Clint McElroy]

So Paul has briefly taken a break. Travis, did you have a question?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. That's Illuminati, right? What he did.

[Clint McElroy]

Nah, it's a hash brown. That's the shape of potato cakes. That's the shape of them.

[E]

In the comments section, some might say you were obsessive or deluded. Heck, some might consider it corporate harassment.

[Clint McElroy]

You remember when McDonald's made a clown?

[E]

The order of potato cakes. We call it passion because you see the world like we see the world. Ha. I love that. See that? Devotion.

[Travis McElroy]

That's pretty good.

[E]

That's what I'm talking about. You belong here with us.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, God.

[E]

The order has taken over Arby's social media to ensure the prophecy is fulfilled.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't worry. They're fine.

[E]

But the will of the order has prevailed.

[Travis McElroy]

You already won me order.

[E]

Potato cakes are back at Arby's. The only thing missing is you. Our ranks grow stronger each day, but we must remain.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is this quake con that they just.

[E]

Showed a limited time order? Now is our time, and the order of potato cakes needs your help. The more you comment about Arby's potato cakes, the more you purchase Arby's potato cakes, the closer we all get to true potato cake enlightenment. Join us.

[Travis McElroy]

What? Am I supposed to feel helpful?

[E]

Fulfill the prophecy, and together we will demonstrate one simple thing to the power of the beast. Potato cakes must remain. This concludes our orientation.

[Travis McElroy]

Or else.

[Griffin McElroy]

I hope. I pray that QAnon gets its hands on this commercial. Just because I think it would finally put that whole thing to bed.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, because half of the. Wait, which whole thing? QAnon or the commercial?

[Griffin McElroy]

Probably QAnon. Because half of the QAnon people would be like, this is nothing, guys. And the other half will be like, I don't know. I'm pretty sure.

[Clint McElroy]

I think it's part of it. If you really look at it. I think Kyle's passing along some pretty coded deep state messages.

[Travis McElroy]

Can we go. Hold on real quick. Paul, can we go to like second 25? I think somewhere around there.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm coded while we watch.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I wanted to talk about it. No, keep going back. I want to see his shoes. There we go. So yeah, if we can pause right there. So what I want to talk about here is of this two minute video.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

These shoes are visible for about three seconds. Yes. So someone very passionately chose these shoes for Mr. McLaughlin or unless he brought.

[Griffin McElroy]

Them from home today.

[Travis McElroy]

Also possible.

[Clint McElroy]

Also possible.

[Travis McElroy]

And then they made sure. And if you could just cross your legs, clap so we can see them real quick. We don't want those shoes to go to waste. Oh, thank you so much.

[Clint McElroy]

This is what I wanted to say about this ad. Really. This is Kyle McLaughlin starring in an ad that is pretending to be for some sort of like Jejune Institute style fake retro computer cult. And it's also Colin McLaughlin again. And it's for potato cakes and it's a fake infomercial. What I'm saying is like, I think I've brought the Munch squad to heal. I think Munch squad works for me now is what I'm think. I worry that I've like perverted it to my own. It's like, well, I know one way we can get a little attention. Yeah, what about the Husky boy and Bimbam, right?

[Travis McElroy]

This feels like they did some dream mining.

[Clint McElroy]

It really does feel like to a point where it's like. And it's about Arby's potato cakes because since 2021 I've been mourning their absence. So did you request this? Several omens have recently foretold the reemergence of Arby's beloved crispy side item.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is this from the press release or is it.

[Clint McElroy]

I'm just reading the text. Several omens have recently foretold the reemergence of Arby's beloved crispy side item. And only lynn enthusiasts like McLaughlin can be trusted to inform all the members of the order of the details. Potato Cakes limited return. As a potato cakes devotee myself, I'm proud to enlighten all potato cakes lovers about the return of our cherished menu item. Said McLaughlin, leader of Arby's newly founded order of potato cakes. We've been waiting three long years and our voices have finally been heard. Potato cakes are back at Arby's thanks to the Powers that Beef. When I said Powers that Beef, you know how you all are finding this kind of funny, but not as funny as it should be. It's because they just made it for me. Do you understand how narrow. Like they wrote powers that beef in my own blood. You know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

It's like we've also, we've talked about a lot of celebrity endorsement pairings and quite often they reek of like. I don't know man. I don't care anything about this. Put my name on it. This is the Most like Kyle McLaughlin was had ideas for.

[Griffin McElroy]

What are they? Fried potato triangles.

[Travis McElroy]

I've written up a script for what I'm going to say.

[Clint McElroy]

I figured it out already.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have shoes picked out already.

[Clint McElroy]

I already have some shoes that are appropriate.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's the budget for the commercial? $700.

[Clint McElroy]

How much of that is for me? None of it. Okay. This is granis. Fair enough.

[Travis McElroy]

Anything for you Arby's.

[Clint McElroy]

To further honor potato cakes return, Arby's will also offer a variety of bespoke limited edition merch items created specifically for the order including a potato cake, amber necklace, potato cake candle enamel pin and official garb of the order in the form of a T shirt and hoodie. Arbit means well, I just want to say that the sad thing is I didn't read this paragraph until I got up on stage. So it's been a kind of distracting show trying to see how much of that I can still buy.

[Travis McElroy]

I was wondering what you were doing, Justin. I did catch a. I needed to.

[Clint McElroy]

Be able to say like and I bought it all but you know, like, I. Arby's has built a reputation of offering bold, delicious menu items. From our well known classics like roasted beef sandwiches and jamoka shake to our limited time specials like yeah, for sure. And the bourbon BBQ sandwiches. It's not as good as racks but I bet they didn't even make it up here. The fans asked for again and again. Now we're bringing back potato cakes, one of our most requested and beloved items to celebrate the true love, passion and devotion our guests show for them day in and day out. I guess they didn't tell her about the skit, huh? They should tell people about the skit if they're going to ask him for a quote so they don't come off like a real, you know, turd. Anyway, they're back now. You can go get them.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not right now. Please wait till a second.

[Clint McElroy]

But thank you. And thank you, rbc. Thank you, Kyle. I really appreciate it.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better. It's better with you.

[Clint McElroy]

I'm tired of sitting on my butt and not doing anything to help anybody. And I'm not even doing anything about my dream. And I promised you guys that I was going to. In 2024, I was going to make real progress on my dream. And honestly, it's. No, it's.

[Travis McElroy]

It's late in the year and I'm.

[Clint McElroy]

Running out of time. What should I do? Help.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, Justin, is your dream to build a beautiful website?

[Clint McElroy]

It could be the first step of a dream, maybe.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Because if you want to build a beautiful website to engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place and on your terms, you could do that on Squarespace. And I'll tell you, Justin, it's pretty weird that you didn't already know that, because we've talked about Squarespace. Well, like a lot.

[Clint McElroy]

Like a lot.

[Griffin McElroy]

This.

[Clint McElroy]

You could say, Trav, that this is my third time talking about Squarespace today.

[Travis McElroy]

And it just hasn't sunk in because I guess at this point we're also telling our audience again about Squarespace, which we've talked about a lot.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And I don't know why our audience is so fucking dense.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get the net, audience.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm just saying. How many times do we have to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fucking tell you about Squarespace?

[Travis McElroy]

I don't want to get angry about it. I've. I've held my tongue for too long. Audience is Squarespace time. Buckle in.

[Griffin McElroy]

We've all used it. We've all made websites with it.

[Travis McElroy]

And look at us now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Look at us now. We're so successful. It's so easy, and it makes your stuff look good. They give you templates, and you pick the stuff out of the templates you want, and it looks like you're a Internet pro and you don't actually have to know anything except that Squarespace is the place you should go to do the things.

[Travis McElroy]

So go to squarespace.com for a free trial when you're ready to Launch, go to www.squarespace.com mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Bye, you fools.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now, Justin, I don't know if having a website is going to really further your dream of. If memory serves, you said you wanted to be a Mortal Kombat guy. You said you wanted to be a playable fighter in Mortal Kombat. And I don't know how the website is going to.

[Clint McElroy]

My dream, if you remember Griffin, is to do a better job sharing my photos with my friends and family.

[Travis McElroy]

Having to be a Mortal Kombat playable character was his nightmare. Griffin, Justin has a recurring nightmare every night where they show up and just beat his ass.

[Clint McElroy]

That was my Are youe Afraid of the Dark? Episode. My dream is to.

[Griffin McElroy]

The Are youe Afraid of the Dark episode is just 21 minutes of Justin getting his ass fucking stomped by Scorpion and Kitana and Sub Zero, all of.

[Travis McElroy]

Them working together, which they don't normally.

[Clint McElroy]

Do, but they agree to.

[Travis McElroy]

And it's weird because normally they don't give the other fighters lines about why they're doing it and why they feel so good about kicking the other person's ass.

[Clint McElroy]

This time they have to absolutely tuf.

[Travis McElroy]

To stop my ass for quote, wrongs you've committed against them. And God is what they keep saying.

[Griffin McElroy]

They make special fatalities just for justice. Like specific. Johnny Cage rips off his penis and throws it and it smacks against the Hollywood sign.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, he rips off his own penis? That's how bad he is at Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cage yells, I hate Justin so much. And he rips off his own penis and throws it against the Hollywood sign.

[Travis McElroy]

And Justin dies of shame.

[Clint McElroy]

Aura frames are really good frames.

[Griffin McElroy]

Aura frames.

[Clint McElroy]

He says, trying to tell you guys about horror frames. They're so good. And I segued into it. You guys start talking about all this nonsense, this absolute garbage about people's dicks and stuff. I'm just trying to make up.

[Travis McElroy]

That's here in the copy. Justin. I'm trying to make all the. We didn't make that up. It's word for word. This is all highlighted in the copy.

[Clint McElroy]

I have a family. I have. I'm a community leader, guys. You gotta be.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're right.

[Clint McElroy]

Okay? Just do a normal ad. It's a gift.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm with you now.

[Clint McElroy]

It's a gift. You give a gift to somebody you love and you have an aura frame. You can set it up ahead of time on their wifi details. You can. You can get it all hooked up. They don't need to be tech savvy to have one. And you don't really have to be tech happy to use it. It's really easy. With the aura app, you can upload pictures that you take right away wirelessly to anybody's frame. Your own frame at home or maybe like a grandma, uncle, whatever. It's a beautiful gift. We've given them to lots of people.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you got.

[Travis McElroy]

Everybody loves them.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you got kids and your parents aren't online, then this is, this is a way to get the pictures of your kids to your. But to your parents having to explain how you know Instagram works and keep.

[Clint McElroy]

Them off of it. Keep them off social media.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, please.

[Clint McElroy]

They don't need to be on Facebook.

[Travis McElroy]

Tell them that the aura frame is Instagram. They don't know their kids know anything.

[Clint McElroy]

Hey, if you would like to try this out, I promise you it makes a great gift. I've literally given it to probably a half dozen people at this point. For a limited time, visit or frames.com and get $45 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames by using promo code mybrother at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code mybrother. This exclusive black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year. So don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply.

[Griffin McElroy]

Real quick, it's got a couple announces before you get back to the rest of the show. It's Blart week, baby. The 10th anniversary of Till Death Do Us. Blart drops this Thursday on American Thanksgiving.

[Travis McElroy]

So all week we'll be showcasing special Blart content. You could see Blart marathons all week long.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're not doing any of that.

[Travis McElroy]

Look in your mailbox. There's a Blart mailer in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just doing the one episode that we did record a while ago, but it's coming out and it's going to be great. Please join us as we watch Paul blart Mall Cop 2 with our friends Tim and Guy for the 10th year running. Also, we're doing our Candle night special on December 14th at 9pm we got special bits we've made and special videos and we're going to do my Bam Bam bits. And it's all holiday themed and we don't cuss and it's a great time of year and you get together and you share it with your family and it's just lovely. Bit ly Candlenights tickets 2024 is where you can go to get a ticket for that, so you should do it. And then join us December 14th at 9pm it's all pre recorded, but we air it live so everybody can watch it and chat about it. And it's a good vibe, I promise.

[Travis McElroy]

And speaking of a good vibe, if you're listening to this week of right now, week of Thanksgiving, I am appearing Off Broadway in the 20 sided tavern. It's a live D and D improv off Broadway show. It's an absolutely chaotic good time. You can get your [e-mail] I'm only doing seven shows so don't miss it. The20sidedtavern.com come see me there. I'll be doing like a stage door meet and greet after each show. So come see the show. Say hi.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got some new merch for Candle Nights. The Candle Nights poster and ornament are available now designed by Matt H. Taylor and all proceeds for that particular item and the Candle Night show go to Harmony House, which works to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. And then also other merch. We got Deathblart 10 year anniversary poster celebrating our so far pretty great track record of staking flawless Rave. Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

Killer. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

And also if you want to get fungalore merch, you should do it before the end of the year. And 10% of all merch sales this month of November will be donated to the First Nations Development Institute. Their mission is to uplift and sustain the lifeways and economies of Native communities through advocacy, financial support and knowledge sharing. [e-mail] and in case we didn't say.

[Travis McElroy]

It in the episode, thanks to Montaigne for the use of My Life Is Better with youh.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know we said it. We always say it at live shows. I pride myself on my just in case.

[Travis McElroy]

Who knows when this was.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I do think Monty. I do think Monty.

[Clint McElroy]

I thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Enjoy the rest of it. Bye.

[Clint McElroy]

Dr. Game show is a podcast where we play games. Submitted by listeners with callers from all around the world. And this is a game to get you to listen. Name three reasons to listen to Dr. Game Show. Kyla and Lunar from Freedom, Maine.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dishes. Folding the laundry.

[Clint McElroy]

Doing cat grooming.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, thank you.

[Clint McElroy]

Great.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, things you could do while listening.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I love that the re I'm.

[Clint McElroy]

Like why do you listen to this show? And Lunar's like dishes Fantastic Manolo number.

[Griffin McElroy]

One is that it will inspire you. You're going to be like, oh, I could do that.

[Travis McElroy]

That's all we have time for.

[Clint McElroy]

But you'll just have to find Dr. Game show on Maximum Fun to find out for yourself.

[F]

Do you like stuff things items? Because MaxFunStore.com has tons of stuff from a bunch of shows. Want a shirt? We got em bumper stickers. No need to honk. They're here. Drinkware sweatshirts, tiny bandana for your dog. It can all be [e-mail] and if you're a Max Fun member, keep an eye on your inbox because you get a discount. Now is the time to shop for the Max Fun fans in your life, including yourself. You deserve it. Maxfunstore.com Go get something special or kinda dumb. We've got it all.

[Griffin McElroy]

We are now going to call some folks down to the microphone that is here at Stage Left House, Right. We asked you to send in your questions. I'm going to call out your name and your seat number. And when you approach, what are you.

[Travis McElroy]

Strong manning over there? God damn it, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Because you crushed a can of White Claw.

[Travis McElroy]

He did it with his mind, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Clint McElroy]

I was trying to send a secret signal. Hey, it got through.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Clint McElroy]

All right. Thanks, Paul.

[Griffin McElroy]

When you come on down.

[Clint McElroy]

I was really. Have you guys ever done. Hey, here's a quick question. Have you guys ever done the crush on your head thing?

[Travis McElroy]

I feel like not for you.

[Clint McElroy]

I clearly wasn't asking everybody in the audience, Sanders, or individually for themselves. But I do love that spirit, honestly.

[Travis McElroy]

The way in which you answered, like.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Obviously.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, are we gonna do it right now?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, please.

[Clint McElroy]

I'm really not. I already crushed my can. I was just curious. I don't think I would have.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it would hurt and we'd have to.

[Clint McElroy]

Do you feel like you. You're not gonna.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not Stone Cold Steve Austin, if that's what you're asking.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, no shit, Griffin.

[Clint McElroy]

I'm not gonna. But, like, you think you could, right?

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, I've bit into one like a werewolf in Teen Wolf.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm already.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm human.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm already going to the hospital after the show, so I may as well cut my forehead terribly.

[Travis McElroy]

I think the trick has to be you squeeze a little as you do it.

[Clint McElroy]

I think you gotta squeeze it as you do it. Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know, man. I'll ask Stone Cold Steve Austin next time I see him. We're gonna call you down to the microphone at book club. Please let me get through this.

[Clint McElroy]

Please.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not funny. It's just informative. But I have to do it and you're not letting me. It's just an explanation.

[Clint McElroy]

This is actually a good time. This is actually the perfect time for me to finish my Arby street session.

[Travis McElroy]

You have to log in.

[Clint McElroy]

Shut up.

[Travis McElroy]

Log in with Arby's. Arby's account. You have it saved.

[Clint McElroy]

Justin has His Arby's account password saved.

[Griffin McElroy]

On his password manager.

[Clint McElroy]

Stop it. Stop looking, Travis. I can't do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you want. What if that's the thing that, like, gets you on the dark Web sites? Arby's today suffered a terrible hack. I mean, they're dope, okay?

[Clint McElroy]

I get emails about it all the time. Like, hey, they cracked this password. J man. It's like, well, that'll give me street cred. Let them rifle through there. I don't care. It's a long purchasing history.

[Griffin McElroy]

When you come to the fucking microphone. When you come to the microphone here at Stage Left House, Right? If you want to give us your name, your pronouns if you'd like, and a synopsis of the question that you sent in, that would be lovely. Hello? Who are you? Uh.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, now yourself.

[Clint McElroy]

That was not supposed to stump you.

[G]

I've been a designer for most of my life.

[Travis McElroy]

No name. What's your pronoun?

[G]

Some things happened three years ago and I went on some hard times.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, are our mics not working?

[Clint McElroy]

Wait, I need to. What's your name? We need your name, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

Paul.

[G]

I'm sorry, he hit.

[Clint McElroy]

It's okay. Hey, Paul. Welcome to the stage, Paul. All right, Paul. With our introductions out of the way, they're new meds. It's all.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's all good, Paul.

[Clint McElroy]

What's going on, Paul? How can we help?

[G]

So I've been a designer for, like, 30 years. Went in some hard times. About three years ago, something happened, but anyhow, was that a potato cakes getting.

[Griffin McElroy]

Taken out of Arby's? Because that hit a lot of us.

[G]

You know how it goes.

[Travis McElroy]

That's when McElroy stuff went downhill fast.

[G]

I finally landed a job in sales, but I don't have a whole lot of experience at it, and I wanted to sort of inject some fun and pizzazz into my sales pitch. And I was hoping you guys could help me. I do sell headstones.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, you saved that for the end in the email, too. And we were all. My brain was all getting really excited about different gags. And then oops, right there at the end.

[G]

It's just so sad.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, I got two things for you.

[G]

Okay?

[Travis McElroy]

First, start talking about, like, a celebrity endorsement. Like, this is the headstone like John Wayne uses, right? And so that way, you tie it in that way, and then if you want a little joke, you can say and you can use it. It's flexible. Headstone, footstone, however you want to do it.

[Clint McElroy]

No, that won't go over real good. It's Proven here.

[Travis McElroy]

You make a joke.

[Clint McElroy]

If that. Listen, screens are the future. How big are screens right now for you guys? Yeah, I thought so. The next step after that.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you mean measurement or popularity?

[Clint McElroy]

No, no, no. Screens. Like screens in the headstones. It's huge.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but you said, how big is it? I just mean I thought you were asking inches.

[Clint McElroy]

Like, how many. No, no, no, no. I don't need a big screen there. I'm not trying to be flashy forever. And besides, if you get a big screen in your headstone, what, about five years, they got better screens. You're gonna look like a dork for dying when you did. You don't need that. So you need AI to update it. So whatever is hot, then that's what's on your headstone. Yeah, it's like, here lies Justin. And then you've got, like, a Fortnite guy or, you know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

And he's, like, skibidi ing all over me. Sure. And my name.

[Griffin McElroy]

And what if there's a glitch? And that's what it gets stuck as forever. And then in the year 3100, during the second great human Renaissance, people are like, we gotta smash this fucking headstone, guys.

[Clint McElroy]

We can all agree we like this one the least. History's greatest villain.

[Travis McElroy]

Creep up.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's his fucking deal?

[Travis McElroy]

Is there a law that says the dates on a headstone have to be true?

[G]

Technically, no.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Because if you could stretch it out to a ridiculous number and then wait, like, 200 years from now, someone's like, yeah, what the fuck?

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa. They were born in 1251, died 1998.

[Travis McElroy]

Come. That's all I want.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. Or have it go backwards? Whoa.

[Clint McElroy]

I'm trying.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does it have to be the right name, or can you put, like, Benjamin Button on there and just, like, freak everyone out?

[Travis McElroy]

I'm trying to. The real Benjamin Franklin, and we found him.

[Clint McElroy]

I'm trying to think of other, like, de facto sales stuff that's already out. Like, oh, that's my favorite. No, that one's delicious. Like, you can't do that. That works at a restaurant. Or, like. Yeah, people are wild about that. When we hear a lot of. We get a lot of repeat business on that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, I don't know why.

[Travis McElroy]

The last headstone you'll ever need.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know why. We have seeded the fun marketing ground exclusively to, like, auto dealerships on TikTok. I feel like there's an opportunity there for you to become the function TikTok headstone dealer. Maybe.

[Travis McElroy]

Is there a way to make a headstone get taller over time? A big, like, you know, lickamade. A big lickamade stick that looks like it's dipping into my coffee.

[Griffin McElroy]

Incredible headstones.

[Clint McElroy]

Can it be a 3D printer? But it's like so slow. So like, in 30 years it'll finally finish and it's a statue of me or something. That would be killer.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's your usual pitch? Like, yeah, where do you start? How much fun?

[G]

I mean, usually I start with, I'm sorry your family member died.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, okay. That's a bad place. That's not fun. There's no pizzazz there.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck, guys. No, we should have said something. God damn it. Why didn't we say no?

[Travis McElroy]

That's a place to start. Like, man, I'm so glad you're here.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, finally. My dumb ass was just like, do a TikTok dance. I should have said, apologize about their dead family, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, people aren't picking out their own headstones ahead of time? You gotta get that going. I don't want these ham and anchors picking out my headstone. They're gonna get boring ass headstones. I wanna pick my own Hudson.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why God's green earth. Would we be the ones inside on the ground?

[Clint McElroy]

In reality, we are 20th on that list if we are anywhere on it.

[Travis McElroy]

Because my wife is crying so hard she's throwing up.

[Clint McElroy]

Travis, I swear to God, there's probably literally two dozen people that would do a better job in the line of succession. But do you know how if you let me, my seven year old. Travis, you monster. You have known us for a very long time. If you let Griffin and I be in charge of it, you will not like it. You won't like it, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Guaranteed.

[Travis McElroy]

I was gonna do that anyways, but I thought it was gonna be like. Nice headstone, bro. Never die.

[Clint McElroy]

This is my impression of Griffin and I for the rest of our lives. It's what he would have wanted, right? I mean, he would have. He would have got. He would have gotten it.

[Travis McElroy]

He would have got it.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

He would have gotten it. He would have got it.

[Griffin McElroy]

You make some of the headstones, vert ramps and just like.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd love that, actually.

[G]

Super easy.

[Travis McElroy]

That would be cool. How hard if one in a million people who stepped on my grave fell into it? That's actually what I want. Just a trap door and you never know what it's gonna go.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you write on every headstone, no treasure here, guaranteed.

[Travis McElroy]

Wink, wink.

[G]

That statement has to be true.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, is there a law about that?

[Clint McElroy]

Better question. Have we helped you?

[G]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Clint McElroy]

Oh, good. This is really good luck.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[Clint McElroy]

How's it going?

[H]

Hi there.

[Travis McElroy]

Hi.

[Clint McElroy]

How's it going?

[H]

Going good, Ryan. He him.

[Travis McElroy]

Hi, Ryan. Hello, Ryan.

[H]

I teach for a living and I have a lot of free time in the summer. And one of the things I like to do is go to garage sales locally because you never know what you're going to find.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I mean, you kind of do.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[H]

It's mostly garbage board games, it's smelly.

[Travis McElroy]

Clothes, half of a basketball hoop, 12.

[H]

Records ripped up, Pokemon cards. You know, story there. That's the Holy Grail, really.

[Travis McElroy]

Why did they rip them up and keep them? Bad breakup.

[Clint McElroy]

So what is your question?

[H]

How can we help? My question is, though, what do I say to the people running the garage sales when I don't buy anything?

[Travis McElroy]

You say, anything else good inside.

[Clint McElroy]

Where's the primo? Where's the alien?

[Griffin McElroy]

Where's the cream? Shit. You got. You got three rigs. You got any stock in the back room? By which I mean your house.

[Clint McElroy]

Where's the. Where's the black market and your ho? Take me to the seedy underbelly of your house.

[Travis McElroy]

Where's the stuff for the deliberate connoisseurs?

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, do y'all do food? I'm hungry.

[Clint McElroy]

Hey, I love the display you got out of here for the normies. What do you got for us discerning adults? Wink, wink, wink, wink.

[Travis McElroy]

Where's the beaded curtain I can step through?

[Clint McElroy]

Right. Where's the adults only section? You could do what I do whenever I leave a place without buying something and loudly announce to anyone who's listening that I left my wallet in the car and then. And then leave.

[Griffin McElroy]

You do that every time you leave a garage sale without buying.

[Travis McElroy]

He does that when he leaves my house.

[Clint McElroy]

I do that when I leave. I do that when I leave most places without buying something. Yes, I will announce that I left my wallet.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, there is a problem with that, though, Justin. Where garage sales do mainly dig place outside. So they would watch you get into car, start car, change gears, drive away.

[Clint McElroy]

Yes. But by the time I've gone, so have they. From my mind, I mean.

[Griffin McElroy]

And that's better, Travis, don't you think it's better for the garage sale runner to be like, oh, he's fucking gone, Rather than the person working at the shop that can't see. Justin, get on, drive off. Just waiting. Should we lock up? It's way past closing time. Nah, man. Juice said he'd be back with the wallet.

[Travis McElroy]

And I'm a huge fan of my brother. My brother, me. I know I didn't say that to him then, but he's coming back.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I think you gotta be honest with this shit sucks. You gotta get better shit, Nick, you made precious memories with this stuff.

[Clint McElroy]

No, no, you didn't hear me. I said, one man's trash is another man's treasure. I'm not the person that thinks it is treasure. So I have to go.

[Griffin McElroy]

I will be honest with you, Ryan. I don't think I've ever done this, because you can usually find something at a garage sale for, like, a quarter, and that's a penalty you pay for not finding any cool shit at the garage sale.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Although that's weird when you're like, just the ashtray. Thanks. I just started smoking.

[Travis McElroy]

I haven't started smoking yet, but I'm thinking of taking it up.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know if I like smoking, but I love Betty Boop.

[Clint McElroy]

Ryan, if you walk up to a garage sale, what is it? The first thing you're looking for? Like, what are your.

[Travis McElroy]

What are your. What's your first priority touch?

[H]

Non ripped up Pokemon cards.

[Griffin McElroy]

Non Pokemon.

[Clint McElroy]

Got it. So Pokemon cards are the number one.

[Travis McElroy]

Then you just walk up, look him square in the eye, and say, I'll take all your Pokemon cards.

[Clint McElroy]

And when they say none, you say, okay, then why did you make me come?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, then why did you put Pokemon for sale on the poster? You didn't. Fuck. What address is this? I gotta go.

[Clint McElroy]

Have you ever not stopped? Have you ever driven past, like, guiding Pokemon?

[Travis McElroy]

No.

[Clint McElroy]

All right, bye.

[H]

I 100% have done, like, the slow drive by where you can kind of like scope it out and you're like, to stop here.

[Griffin McElroy]

One time I was at a garage sale with Rachel when we were still living in Austin and before we had kids and stuff, when we could still just drive around the neighborhood in the weekend and look at garage sales. And we were like, fuck, yeah, that one's got a hammock for sale. So we bought the hammock, and then they were like, all right, so are you gonna be by with the truck later to pick it up? And we were like, oh, yeah, that's right. It has to get to our house somehow. It's a hammock. Forgot about that part of it.

[Travis McElroy]

So what did you do?

[Griffin McElroy]

It was like three blocks away. We carried it home. That's how we got strong, huh? We used it like four times. It was well worth it, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

Excellent. Does that help? Yeah.

[H]

That actually really helps.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you, Ryan. Cool, Ryan.

[Clint McElroy]

Thank you. I didn't expect you'd feel that way.

[Travis McElroy]

Did anyone else? Oh, thank God.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[Travis McElroy]

Hi.

[Clint McElroy]

How's it going?

[I]

Hi, I'm Katie H. I asked a question about hot air balloons and how.

[Travis McElroy]

I. Yeah, Katie, So many questions from us on Instagram. I'm so delighted.

[I]

Hi.

[Griffin McElroy]

So what's up with the hot air balloons, Katie?

[I]

My question was, how do I get them to stop landing in my yard?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Now, right?

[Clint McElroy]

So this is rare for us with their hula hoops. I'd love to let Kitty talk for, like, 30 seconds because I do need a lot of information really quickly.

[I]

So I live in, like, the middle of a cornfield, and it was an empty lot for, like, 40 years. So I think it was just, like, their secret landing spot to do to get.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, yes. I guess if you do need to piss or shit as a hot air balloon pilot, you can't do it in the now.

[Travis McElroy]

You got a plan for that? Okay, sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

They did plan for it. They had this nasty little cornfield they would park in and do their business before rising back up.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Katie, I know this isn't the question you asked, but moving forward in the future, if someone asks you where you live, don't say, I live in the middle of a cornfield, because it does sound like you've just risen up from the ground.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, but they're still parking it, you're saying.

[Clint McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

How often?

[I]

Like, at least once. Like, a year, they'll try and land.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, that year was the end of the.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, you say that, but my rate of hot air balloon parking encounters is approximately zero a year for the whole of my life. One a year is a lot of hot air balloons to randomly land in your.

[Clint McElroy]

If you all had an annual hot air balloon visit, I think you could make more space in it for your life if it was more frequent. That's true. It's almost worse than it's.

[Travis McElroy]

You could set up, like, an outpost and sell them goods and service. You're here to trade first, and then.

[Clint McElroy]

If it happens every few years, it's magical. Like Brigadoon. Once a year is the worst frequency you can happen with.

[I]

It's, like, really weird, too, because, like, they have people on the ground. I don't know if you guys know this, but they have, like, people on the ground. They, like, come driving up my driveway with, like, walkie talk, and they're, like, trying to tell them not to land because there's a house there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Do they land on your house?

[Clint McElroy]

No, but how fast are these fucking balloons going? They can't clock the fucking house on the ground.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't know how to air balloons.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's too late.

[Clint McElroy]

It's too late. I don't know what to do. Give it more hot.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

So it go up.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't know landing was such a committed process of like. No, man, I'm coming in. Tell the house to move.

[Clint McElroy]

I know why they need pullers. Obvious, right? It's a delicate balance, for sure. I don't know why they need spotters for houses. It's just a balloon. Don't go there.

[Griffin McElroy]

You have literally nothing obstructing your sight line except for maybe four ropes.

[Travis McElroy]

Katie, you need to put a bunch of cactuses on your roof. That's right, because then that's the hot air balloon's natural enemy.

[Clint McElroy]

Hey, Katie, you got a label maker? No. You want. Can you get a hold of a label maker? You want to own a hot air balloon? I'm saying that guy lands, you're like, bring her in, pal, bring her in. No problemo. As soon as it lands, Katie's. What? What does it say on here? Well, it's. Let's see. It's at my house and it says Katie's on it.

[Travis McElroy]

So I guess that's my hot air balloon.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I'll go to the police. Will you? Because you landed in my fucking yard.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, you landed on my. You landed on my yard. And if you'll notice, I'm 10ft above you. I'm flying away like the wizard of Oz. You'll never see me again, motherfucker.

[Griffin McElroy]

But wait, wait, wait.

[Clint McElroy]

Hold up.

[Griffin McElroy]

How did you go down?

[Clint McElroy]

Because. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no, wait, hold on. Climb up that rope. Hurry.

[Clint McElroy]

Hey, wait. Do you guys know of any other cornfield? Because I can't land here. It would be hugely embarrassing.

[Travis McElroy]

But maybe with owners, you are less grabby than me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you get some friends to come over and dress up as, I don't know, scary looking balloon scavengers?

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, Griffin, sorry.

[Clint McElroy]

It's a really good question.

[Travis McElroy]

Have the friends come over and dress like the Cowardly lion, the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Dorothy and be so excited that the balloon came back.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would also work. Yeah, I think that would also work.

[Clint McElroy]

Katie. I was about to say if that helped, but, like, we're really doing a good job.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Clint McElroy]

So I think that I feel like. Question answered. Right? Feel good? Yeah, I thought so. Thanks, Katie.

[I]

Thank you, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a little Shrek on it.

[Griffin McElroy]

A lot of you would probably think I Bet they don't have a Shrek hot air balloon.

[Clint McElroy]

We gotta stop making. Making such big Shreks, everybody. Hi.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[Clint McElroy]

Hello.

[I]

My name is Sawyer. I use they them pronouns.

[Clint McElroy]

Hi, Sawyer.

[I]

I got so lost coming down here.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know. I'm so sorry.

[I]

You're like, where is everyone? In a labyrinth.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got lost backstage a couple of times, too. Yeah, the Masonics were constantly under threat of invasion, so they needed to.

[Travis McElroy]

The weirdest part is all the arrow holes facing out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Weird. Anyway, Sawyer, what's your question?

[I]

Okay, so my sister had a fish rip. Its name was Screwdriver. And as you do, great name for a fish.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah.

[I]

Traditional fish funeral. Reflush it down the toilet.

[Travis McElroy]

Burial at sea.

[I]

Yeah, nearly immediately. I had to use the bathroom.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you per chance, eat a pepperoni roll 25 minutes prior to the funeral?

[I]

No, but it sounds good.

[Travis McElroy]

It doesn't.

[I]

Maybe for me.

[Griffin McElroy]

So what happened next?

[I]

I guess, luckily we have, like, other bathrooms in the house. But that one is like the one closest to my room.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's the good one.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, your favorite.

[I]

That's fine.

[Griffin McElroy]

We all have a favorite one.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you have a home base.

[Clint McElroy]

What would Screwdriver have wanted? Like, was Screwdriver nasty? There may be some fish that are like. You'll never believe it. It finally happened.

[Travis McElroy]

I never thought it would happen to me.

[Clint McElroy]

Every eight different cycles on this shit planet. Seven different incarnations.

[Travis McElroy]

Finally, the burial pee I've been waiting for. Oh, God, Sawyer, if that ever happens again. Let me prepare you with this statement. I just need a moment alone. I have a lot of feelings right now, all building up inside of me. I just need a moment alone with the ghost of Screwdriver.

[Clint McElroy]

Ashes to ashes. I'm about to bust. You guys gotta get out.

[Travis McElroy]

And now, the traditional moment when you all quickly leave the room.

[Griffin McElroy]

Paul, if you're still looking for headstone sales tactics, I think offering a burial at pee could be novel at the very least. It's not like that same day, right? You gotta let the sun set on screwdrivers. Oh, no. Am I like.

[Clint McElroy]

No, it's.

[Travis McElroy]

What are you talking about? What's. A flush has happened. It's gone.

[Clint McElroy]

It's gone.

[Travis McElroy]

Now a flush does have to happen.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah, you gotta flush. You should be. Can I say, though, pro tip to everybody, you should be flushing when you put it in. Cause if you don't, it's hot.

[Travis McElroy]

Say whatever you're gonna say before it enters the toilet. Don't put it in. And then say your word and make sure.

[Clint McElroy]

And honestly, while we're at it. Make sure you flush before, too. You really. You want to be, right?

[Travis McElroy]

You should be flushing your toilet constantly.

[Clint McElroy]

It's a taste issue. Honestly, it's a taste issue.

[Griffin McElroy]

You should be taking your.

[Clint McElroy]

It says taste, not taste. God. Man. Guys, this used to be a classy show.

[Travis McElroy]

It sounds like you're talking about sous videing your fish in the toilet.

[Clint McElroy]

It used to be a classy show for adults.

[Travis McElroy]

Discerning adult. It's assuming you can't say it's a taste issue.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you getting dressed like you're about to walk off stage?

[Travis McElroy]

Do you need to use the bathroom?

[Clint McElroy]

Well, I never harunt. No, I'm just saying it's distasteful to not flush before and after the service. I'm saying there should be a little bit of taste applied to the ceremony.

[Travis McElroy]

And yes, ideally, you do have a marching band lead you into the toilet. Justin, obviously, in a perfect world, do.

[Griffin McElroy]

You take out the little, like, blue cleaning disc inside the toilet before you put the fish in there?

[Clint McElroy]

That's what they would have wanted. And turn off the music when it flushes because you have a special music to. That would be embarrassing.

[Travis McElroy]

I bet you cleanse the fish and the bidet, right? Yes.

[Clint McElroy]

Spray it out. No, you put the fish in first. Fire up the bidet. Give him one last ride.

[Travis McElroy]

Goodbye, Sawyer. Does that help? I don't want to talk to my brothers about this anymore.

[Clint McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Sawyer. I appreciate it. Does that help?

[Travis McElroy]

It did help.

[Clint McElroy]

Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you so much, Sawyer.

[Clint McElroy]

I knew it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, y'all. Thank you so much for coming to our live show tonight. It has been an absolute blast. You all are incredible, and there's so many of you. Holy shit.

[Clint McElroy]

Thank you so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's amazing.

[Clint McElroy]

Oh, wait.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm gonna be real.

[Travis McElroy]

You.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I don't know where my phone is. Never mind. But I'll tell all my friends later. They'll be so jealous.

[Travis McElroy]

We want to say a big thank you to Justin Gray, who did our poster.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's. You can find it outside, maybe. We signed a whole bunch of them and you can buy them out.

[Travis McElroy]

My favorite part is where there's a birdhouse in my soul and your face.

[Griffin McElroy]

For some reason, I love it.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, that's where my soul is. On my feet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you to Paul and Amanda and to Rachel and to Jack and everyone who helps us do all this.

[Travis McElroy]

To Sawbones. Hey.

[Clint McElroy]

Thanks, sawbones.

[Travis McElroy]

To Clint McElroy.

[Clint McElroy]

Thank you, Clint. Thank you to the staff of this beautiful temple. They've been so accommodating and our spread backstage, they really went above and beyond with the candy and we so appreciate that extra touch. There's like eight different candies back there. It's great.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's gorgeous. Thank you to Montaigne for the use for a theme song. My life is better with you.

[Travis McElroy]

I have a wish here that I would like to elevate for Fungor. We don't need to, but I want to elevate.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, and thanks to Sawbones for opening and absolutely crushing it.

[Travis McElroy]

I said that, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

And thank you also to Paul and Clint McElroy. And to you.

[Travis McElroy]

You all can see me, right?

[Clint McElroy]

Okay. They brought strudel, too. It's backstage as well. Not for you, for us, but.

[Griffin McElroy]

And pepperoni rolls. They will lose points for that when God judges them.

[Clint McElroy]

And thanks to Paul.

[Griffin McElroy]

And thanks to Paul.

[Travis McElroy]

And hey, big thanks to Paul, the headstone dealer.

[Clint McElroy]

We have a wish for fungal.

[Griffin McElroy]

We have a wish for fungal arrival.

[Clint McElroy]

I have always said, what an elevate.

[Travis McElroy]

Shut up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, I'm sorry, Travis. Is it hard to talk sometimes on the show? Cause the other two guys are just doing their fucking. All right, we're gonna do a sound bath. Raise up this wish to fungalore. Right?

[Clint McElroy]

House left, your mind stage right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just jazz it, baby. No rules, just right. Just feel it and do it.

[Clint McElroy]

Rub, rub, rub, rub, rub, rub.

[Travis McElroy]

I wish rain would taste more fun.

[Clint McElroy]

My name's Justin McIlroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Clint McElroy]

This has been my brother. My brother, me. Kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better with you, my life, it's better it's better with you it's better, it's better with you.

[Clint McElroy]

Is it true?

[Justin McElroy]

It's better, it's better with you, my life, it's better with you.

[Clint McElroy]

Maximum Fun.

[F]

A worker owned network of artist owned.

[Clint McElroy]

Shows supported directly by.