MBMBaM 749: Christmas for Consumers

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Brother, My Brother And Me – Episode MBMBaM 749: Christmas for Consumers

Release Date: February 10, 2025
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy
Duration: Approximately 56 minutes

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1. Introduction and Initial Banter (00:00 - 02:05)

The episode kicks off with the classic humorous disclaimers from Justin McElroy, stating, “The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed” (00:00). Travis and Griffin follow with their signature quirky introductions, setting a playful tone for the episode.

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2. Groundhog Day Discussions (02:05 - 07:32)

The brothers delve into the topic of Groundhog Day, discussing its cultural significance and personal perceptions.

• Travis expresses a desire to expand Groundhog Day traditions: “There’s no other traditions around it” (05:34).

• Justin humorously reimagines the holiday, suggesting, “if you ever see Rod Stewart turn around and do the butt shake, what he's actually doing, seeing his shadow” (05:53).

• Griffin ponders the existential aspect, referencing the movie Groundhog Day: “Can you imagine 10,000 years of free time? Holy shit, dudes, I'm catching” (07:49).

The discussion highlights their creative and comedic take on traditional holidays, blending pop culture references with personal anecdotes.

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3. Super Bowl Commercials and Consumer Culture (12:00 - 26:00)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the impact of Super Bowl commercials on consumer behavior.

• Justin laments the commercialization: “It’s better with you, it’s better” (28:44) juxtaposed with frustration about incessant advertising.

• Griffin mocks the over-the-top nature of ads, particularly from Buffalo Wild Wings (BW3s), jesting about the absurdity of their promotions: “You’re going to kick it for the tie. And if you kick it for the tie, you’re kicking over half million chickens to death” (38:19).

• Travis and Griffin engage in a humorous back-and-forth about improving ad strategies, including outrageous side bets related to football games.

This segment satirizes the intense commercialism surrounding major sporting events, emphasizing the brothers' skepticism toward corporate marketing tactics.

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4. Listener Questions and Creative Solutions (15:00 - 28:00)

The hosts address listener-submitted questions, offering their unique blend of advice and humor.

a. Welding Feedback (15:00 - 16:56)

A welder named Kevin seeks advice on commiserating with fellow welders.

• Justin recommends, “laying dimes really loud” (15:53), a term he explains as achieving a smooth, ripple-free weld.

• Griffin shares his own soldering experiences: “I was doing soldering, which is kind of like welding” (16:24).

The segment underscores the brothers' ability to connect with niche topics through relatable humor.

b. Collage Puzzle Conundrum (17:00 - 23:20)

A listener grapples with repurposing incomplete Baby Yoda puzzle pieces for art.

• Justin advises, “throw this away” (17:30), balancing practicality with creative expression.

• Griffin explores the artistic possibilities: “It's like a do it yourself collage” (19:18).

Their responses blend straightforward advice with playful banter, encouraging listeners to find humor in dilemmas.

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5. Personal Anecdotes and Philosophical Musings (26:00 - 35:00)

The McElroys share personal stories and delve into deeper reflections on life and creativity.

• Justin discusses his newfound hobby of burning woodworking waste, rationalizing it as a form of non-waste: “if you burn it, you didn’t waste it” (21:42).

• Griffin engages in a mock scientific debate about energy conservation: “If you burn all the stuff from Baby Yoda, you didn’t destroy it” (22:45).

These exchanges highlight their ability to intertwine personal experiences with whimsical philosophical discussions, often leading to absurd yet entertaining conclusions.

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6. Addressing Social Interactions and Personal Growth (43:00 - 51:00)

The brothers tackle interpersonal communication challenges, particularly around personal hobbies and preferences.

• Justin shares his struggle with guests rejecting his frothy milk drinks, seeking advice on how to present his passion without alienating friends: “How can I encourage my guests to accept a frothy drink?” (17:15).

• Griffin and Travis offer strategies to balance personal interests with social norms, advocating for honest communication: “Just say how you’re feeling” (51:24).

This segment underscores the brothers' commitment to fostering genuine relationships while maintaining their unique interests.

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7. Upcoming Events and Final Thoughts (51:00 - 56:17)

In the concluding part of the episode, the McElroys promote upcoming tours, merchandise, and charitable initiatives.

• Justin announces, “we’re going to be in Tampa” and provides details about their Champions Grove event in Ohio (53:15).

• Griffin humorously critiques their advertising efforts, expressing reluctance to actively promote ads despite their inherent humor (29:03).

The episode wraps up with lighthearted promotion of their projects, maintaining the humorous and engaging tone throughout.

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Notable Quotes

• Justin McElroy (00:00): “The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed.”

• Griffin McElroy (07:49): “Can you imagine 10,000 years of free time? Holy shit, dudes, I'm catching.”

• Justin McElroy (15:53): “Laying dimes really loud. And that should cover most interactions.”

• Griffin McElroy (22:45): “I seized Prometheus fire and used it to make metal into different shit.”

• Travis McElroy (55:37): “Birds have to have their own cuss words that we don't know about. I'm Travis McElroy.”

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Conclusion

Episode 749 of My Brother, My Brother And Me masterfully intertwines humor, personal anecdotes, and satirical commentary on consumer culture. Through playful banter and creative problem-solving, the McElroy brothers engage listeners with relatable and entertaining content. Whether dissecting the absurdity of Super Bowl commercials or navigating the intricacies of personal hobbies, the episode exemplifies the trio's unique ability to blend comedy with genuine conversation.

Transcript

[Justin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Travis McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's ripened into a precious friends.

[Travis McElroy]

I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park. Hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like it's better. It's better with you. My life, it's better. It's better with you. This is true. It's better. It's better with two. It's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

You have failed yourself, Griffin. Your job is to stay happy. Clown. Get out there and dance in your big shoes.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll dance.

[Unknown]

Let's dance.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's see your big shoes. I'll dance, clown. But the dance is gonna be like when someone dances in the background of the big bar in Twin Peaks. Like a lot of shu. There'll be shuffling and it will be.

[Unknown]

There's joy in that.

[Griffin McElroy]

The performance I give will be arresting. It will be Captain.

[Justin McElroy]

Welcome. Welcome to My Brother, My brother main advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Unknown]

Vroom, vroom. Ka chow. It's me, Trav Nation. Your middlest brother, Travis Big dog. Woof woof. McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's Wednesday, February 5th. The morning of Wednesday, February 5th. And I'm Griffin McElroy. That's when we're recording this. I feel like saying that is a good idea. Like holding up a newspaper with a sports score is a good idea.

[Unknown]

There's two things, very important things I want to talk about topical. Topical things.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is one of them that it is Wednesday the February 5th and that the show comes out on a different day where we don't. We're not there on that one.

[Unknown]

Well, whenever it was at the Grammys this past weekend. Benson.

[Justin McElroy]

Grammy a lot.

[Unknown]

Vincent Boone performed his hit song Beautiful Things.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And as he did the intro, Heidi Klum and Nikki Glaser tore his suit off and he was wearing a blue deep V neck glamoron jumpsuit. And as this man's singing, he runs up onto the stage and he did a flip off the top of the piano.

[Justin McElroy]

Cool.

[Unknown]

What's her name? And apparently he does this at his.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's this guy's name? What's his name.

[Justin McElroy]

What's this guy's name?

[Unknown]

Boone.

[Justin McElroy]

Benson.

[Unknown]

Ben.

[Justin McElroy]

Beautiful things that I've got.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, that guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, yeah. That song always gets. That song always gets me going.

[Unknown]

I think it's unfair that he can sing so beautifully and do a cool flip off of a piano.

[Griffin McElroy]

You shouldn't be able to do both things where you get to sing way high up, which is so fun, and be able to do a flip off of a piano or anything.

[Unknown]

That is unfair. I can't sing either of those. And he can. And the only way that.

[Griffin McElroy]

How's he look? Is he, like. Is he, like, wicked ugly?

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, he looks cool.

[Unknown]

He's a cool. He's so cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

God damn it.

[Unknown]

The only way I can.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like if Miles Teller decided to be a little softer, a little curlier.

[Unknown]

A little cooler, a little more glamrock. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn, man. God gave with three hands on this one. Damn. Benson. Boone.

[Unknown]

I can only exist happily by believing that he sings that good. Because he is fully dedicated 100% of his energy towards that. And then seeing that he can also do flips, and I'm like, what else can he do? He's probably a good baker. And then he later apologized for aggressively adjusting himself in that jumpsuit during the performance. And I feel like that's unfair that he should do. Should he gently adjust himself? Is that better than aggressively adjusting himself?

[Justin McElroy]

Travis, that's. Can I say something, man? It's such a really good question. Because what happened is Bessie Boone is wearing a tight jumpsuit that is restricting.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sorry. It's restrictive. So it is that question of a fast, aggressive adjustment.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's the best version of. He's not belligerent.

[Justin McElroy]

Because if you think about a slow, tender adjustment, that's not a problem with eye contact. Yeah, right. Like, that's not appropriate for an audience.

[Griffin McElroy]

And that's his privacy. That's his bathroom stuff. And it's. Everyone's got him. So calm down. Sometimes you never have to adjust your bathroom stuff. That's weird.

[Justin McElroy]

Unlikely.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't believe it.

[Unknown]

The other thing I wanna talk about is. This occurred to me when you guys were children. We babbies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Did you believe that when you grew up to be an adult that Groundhog's Day would take on a greater significance as a holiday to you? And it's like, oh, this must be a thing that grownups have built deeply into their psyche. And I, as a child, simply don't get.

[Griffin McElroy]

Needs a shot in the arm, doesn't it? Yeah, it needs something. Cause it's not. And I get there's a whole town where they're probably wild about this fucking thing. But for the rest of us, the shine is coming off the apple.

[Unknown]

It just doesn't extend beyond that.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, it's a single skeet that I see. It's like. Saw a shadow and I'm like, okay, put him away. And the whole holiday in my mind, that seems weird. It needs something else.

[Unknown]

There's no other traditions around it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Work off, you get.

[Unknown]

Work off.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would be sick. That's a big one. Presents some kind of feast.

[Justin McElroy]

That's why if you ever see Rod Stewart turn around and do the butt shake, what he's actually doing, seeing his.

[Unknown]

Shadow to see if there's six more weeks of winter.

[Justin McElroy]

That's exactly it. He's shaking his little butt and saying, like, is that my shadow or not?

[Griffin McElroy]

There's so much.

[Unknown]

Can see his butt shadow. If a groundhog comes out of Rod.

[Griffin McElroy]

Stewart's butt, think about this. What's the best part of any holiday? That's right. Hiding Easter eggs. Because it's the only part of any holiday where you get to go on a little adventure. Think about the opportunities that Groundhog Day would provide if we started to include little adventures in it. Because these guys, they bury themselves in the ground like treasure already.

[Unknown]

Ever since David the Gnome, I've dreamed of crawling through an underground cavern and finding love to. Why not provide that for me to find the groundhog and ask him, did you see your shadow?

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's go down there once and bring the camera crew and go down there.

[Justin McElroy]

There's a lot of conversations that would be hard to have with the aliens, but I think this one would be hardest because you have to say, like, yes, the day is called Groundhog Day. Yes. And they're like, so what's the deal? Well, we do every year, ask a groundhog if it's gonna be cold for a while.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Justin McElroy]

And they're like, spiegs. Huh?

[Unknown]

The groundhog speaks the groundhog.

[Justin McElroy]

No groundhog sees its shadow.

[Unknown]

That's.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like a.

[Griffin McElroy]

On our planet. On our planet, all the animals can't talk to each other.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So it's like, different. And then they're like, so.

[Unknown]

That's wild.

[Justin McElroy]

What's the second most notable thing about Groundhog Day? It's like sometimes you live it over and over again for 10,000 years. What? Sorry. Speak up again.

[Unknown]

We know you learned to be a good person.

[Justin McElroy]

The second thing about Groundhog Day is sometimes you live it over and over again in our culture. That's the second most notable thing about ground holiday is that.

[Unknown]

And for some people, those flip flop. Right. Sometimes that's the significance is.

[Justin McElroy]

So it's a holiday about living it over and over again? No, it gets to that point sometimes it does feel like that a little bit.

[Unknown]

But yeah, it has much more cultural significance, I would say for a demographic of people that it's a day where one self reflects for 10,000 years to think about their life and how they can have a healthier relationship with Andie MacDowell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you even imagine that movie paints that to be like a terrible thing to happen. Can you imagine 10,000 years of free time? Holy shit, dudes, I'm catching.

[Unknown]

I would flip off pianos constantly.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would do it. It would take 8,000 straight years of snapping my spine. And was it worth it? No, it wasn't, because it looks cool. But that was really, really torturous.

[Justin McElroy]

That is how long it would take one cool. I wish that there was a different version of Groundhog Day where the day fell on the day right before they released the finale of Traitors. And so the show is about him trying to, like, reconstruct how he thinks it's gonna be exactly. And then film it for himself. Like, let. He wants to film his own finale of, like, TV shows. He's writing his own endings. So when the actual finale does come out, he'd be like, well, actually, I think this would be more.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it's a little something like this.

[Justin McElroy]

I think it's a little bit more.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wouldn't mind taking a second pass at that lost ending. Right, guys?

[Unknown]

10,000 years.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow. This is an unvisc. Does it have to be? Cause I'm really kind of. I feel good in the vibe right now. I feel like I'm in the pocket of the vibe.

[Unknown]

What if the groundhog came out and aggressively adjusted himself?

[Griffin McElroy]

That'd be cool.

[Unknown]

Does that mean a monster is on the way?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that has to have happened in the hundred years we've been doing this thing that the little guy comes out and then like grabs his bathroom stuff. As animals, most animals are want to do all the time.

[Unknown]

When I was traveling recently, it was very, very early in the morning. It was like an 8am flight. So I was going through security at like 6am and I forgot that the boots that I was wearing always set off the metal detector. So I had to get scanned and I had to take the boots off. And the TSA agent looked at me as he was like, scanning Me with the wand. And he said, which side is your property on? And my first thought was, what a cute way to ask me where my nick and balls is.

[Justin McElroy]

That's 100% what I assumed when you said that.

[Unknown]

Thank you. And then I realized he was talking about which conveyor belt my stuff was on to put my shoes with them. And luckily both things were true. So when I said the right, that was also where my stuff was. But it was such a cute way.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't wanna know. That felt like a long walk to tell your brothers the current state of yours.

[Unknown]

It's not always there. That's just where my property was at the moment. A needlessly fanciful walk to talk about my property.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Cause now I'm thinking like, I'm thinking about what's going on in there, Trav. You may not want me to, but.

[Unknown]

Sometimes I split the uprights or the downrates. That is the one ball on either.

[Griffin McElroy]

Side of the old droopy dog. So.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what sucks? Here's what's actually hard. Can I tell you guys what actually sucks?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, please.

[Justin McElroy]

Is that everybody has seen all the new ads. That's all they're thinking about right now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Is they've seen all the new ads.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, they know how it all.

[Justin McElroy]

Fuck.

[Griffin McElroy]

We forgot that big game.

[Unknown]

Got it.

[Justin McElroy]

The big game.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dang it.

[Unknown]

So the thing is, did the big game happen? Yeah, the big game just happened yesterday.

[Griffin McElroy]

God dang. We were smelling.

[Justin McElroy]

We forgot about that.

[Unknown]

Couldn't have. The big game couldn't have just happened.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's hope it happened.

[Unknown]

Okay, wait. Oh, you're saying it was. I think it probably happened. Okay. God. What?

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, why wouldn't it happen? Trash Griffin.

[Unknown]

I don't know about it. No, it will have had happened.

[Justin McElroy]

It did have happened.

[Griffin McElroy]

I could see a few scenarios where it didn't happen. That's what I'm saying, bro.

[Unknown]

You guys broke my brain. And for a moment, I believed that the super bowl had come and gone. I could see something happen where the.

[Griffin McElroy]

Commission would be like, let's do it next week.

[Justin McElroy]

He's tracking wild ass.

[Unknown]

Hey, hey. Players, players, coaches. You're not in the mood.

[Justin McElroy]

We're not in the mood.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're not in the mood to make a silly podcast joke. I can't imagine these 40 strapping men are ready to catch balls and throw them at each other.

[Unknown]

You guys don't wanna play football this week. We don't wanna watch football this week is.

[Griffin McElroy]

We'll get em next time.

[Unknown]

We'll get em next time. We're gonna play it out on, like, a Tecmo bowl kind of thing and just see how it goes. And broadcast that we're doing the Puppy Bowl. We already filmed that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's easy.

[Justin McElroy]

For three hours. The puppies don't know. The puppies don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

The puppies aren't on Blue Sky. They're not. They're simply not.

[Unknown]

Is there a big. Before we started, I said, let's just do a normal one.

[Justin McElroy]

The guys.

[Griffin McElroy]

The guys aren't into. We'll just run the super bowl from two years ago because it was the same guys.

[Unknown]

And no one will remember it already happened.

[Griffin McElroy]

No one.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, guys, I wouldn't. 100% that would get me.

[Unknown]

This is what I'm saying.

[Griffin McElroy]

So this is rant.

[Unknown]

Can I bet on the Puppy bowl is what I want to know who runs what. Justin, I have a bit of frustration.

[Justin McElroy]

I'd like to talk about with Super Bowl.

[Unknown]

Hey, yeah. Yeah. This is a safe space. No one's listening.

[Justin McElroy]

It used to be. It used to be that the super bowl was a real buffet for fans of branding. Like, if you're a brand fan, you love commercials. You love to see what, like, Madison Avenue has cooked up.

[Unknown]

If you love.

[Justin McElroy]

It's Christmas Day.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

For consumers.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, Is that why the show Mad Men's called Mad Men? Because Madison. Okay. Never knew that Men.

[Unknown]

But they made it mad.

[Justin McElroy]

It's all those things.

[Griffin McElroy]

They are actually also most of the men in that show, from what little I've seen of it, are pretty po'd most of the time.

[Unknown]

But also, you gotta be a little mad to work here kind of thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. It's four. It's working four ways.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, these days, though, to rise above the din, you're seeing a lot more brands release their super bowl commercial.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Before. For the big game to try to get ahead of it. And this drives me crazy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I have one fucking night that I look forward to? Where the real joy for me is getting to see 10 new commercials. That's what I'm excited for. Getting to see. If they figure out a way to put Indiana Jones in one or something. That's the one. I'm looking forward to that for weeks.

[Unknown]

It's the silver lining to seeing a player get hurt. We were like, oh, my God, I hope he's okay. Oh, my God. They will take a commercial break. Sorry. No. They will take a commercial break, though.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry. What Travis is saying is not an A clause underneath my sub 0.1.

[Unknown]

No, Justin, I was Reading between the lines. You get happy when a player gets burnt because they'll get it.

[Justin McElroy]

And you can see you're in the index.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm. I'm. I'm bummed out by the commercial trailers that we get. One of them is a beer, and I don't know which one.

[Unknown]

So for a commercial, it's a trailer.

[Griffin McElroy]

For the David Beckham's God Twin Brother. I remember that. I don't remember the product. It's advertising because they don't say it. So $1 billion well spent. Guinness, maybe.

[Justin McElroy]

I think they do. What they did. Harry Met Sally. They got Billy and Meg back for it. And. And it's Miracle Whip. Like, that's why it's so good.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's good. I see that.

[Justin McElroy]

That would have been so good.

[Unknown]

Oh, like she eats the sandwich.

[Griffin McElroy]

Save that for me. Save that for me.

[Justin McElroy]

Save it for me on the Super Bowl. I need that when that pops up. I can't shush my family, right. If it's already been online, if it's streaming.

[Unknown]

That's why I've been doing an online blackout for the last, like, three weeks.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not gonna have any legs.

[Unknown]

Just so I don't miss commercial. I have no idea what's going on. Yeah, yeah. So the commercials will all be as surprised. Don't tell.

[Justin McElroy]

You're in for a big surprise.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's trying. Oh, Juice is on board, too. They're trying, guys. They're on one of those things on the train tracks pumping it up and down. They're trying to get her there.

[Unknown]

Since I've looked online, I have no idea what's happening.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, listen, this is an advice show. This first question's about welding, which is.

[Unknown]

Not even a question, Justin. It's feedback from a previous.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love feedback. This should be a new segment on the show.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm welder. I'm a welder by trade. And I wanted to chime in on the question from episode 747. True Flam. @ the end of the. At the end of the day, a welder really just wants commiseration for how big of a pain in the ass it looked to weld. Or if that fails, just say, hell yeah. Laying dimes really loud. And that should cover most interactions. That's from Kevin. Laying dimes is good.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm going to try to say that at least once during the episode because that I like. But if you want to appreciate welding, there's an actual answer for you. I don't know why We've been helpful this week, but there you go.

[Griffin McElroy]

Lying dimes is cool. It means cool when you create a smooth weld without ripples. And it looks like a bunch of dimes laying on each other.

[Justin McElroy]

That's sick.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's fucking cool. Welding is so neat.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've done. I did a little. When I was doing my little Game Boy toys, I.

[Justin McElroy]

Game Boy toys.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was doing little. I was doing soldering, which is kind of like welding. Don't you guys think? Agree with that.

[Justin McElroy]

It's plastic welding.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's little metal. It comes in a little spool, and you melt it.

[Justin McElroy]

Actually, I've done plastic weld. It's not actually plastic welding, I guess.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, is it? No, it's real metal.

[Justin McElroy]

I've done fusion weld.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've seized Prometheus fire and used it to make metal into different shit. So that's. I'm laying dimes over here myself.

[Justin McElroy]

It's welding for babies is what I mean.

[Unknown]

Baby welding. Welding. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I have an urgent and pressing question. I am a collage artist.

[Griffin McElroy]

You wanted to say collage, didn't you? I heard the. I'm not even looking at the camera right now. You did.

[Unknown]

I was looking at Stinker. I was thinking he was gonna say collage.

[Griffin McElroy]

You Stinker.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm a collage artist, and I'm going to incorporate part of a puzzle into a piece I'm working on.

[Unknown]

Ooh. Your piece is crisp as hell, Jamie.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Well, I almost got tripped up, so I'm being very careful now.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

I know that this person is working against me. This question asker has laid many traps, and I'm aware of all of them. I'm unstoppable. The issue is, what do I do with the rest of the puzzle? It's a puzzle of Baby Yoda that I got at my fiance's family's white elephant at Christmas two years ago. And the part I'm using is the part that doesn't have Baby Yoda on it, but it is a fairly large chunk of the puzzle. I obviously can't, like, donate the puzzle since it's incomplete, but I don't want to keep the Baby Yoda parts because it was kind of a sucky find. Yeah, I'm. Here's a. I'm gonna tell this person to throw it in the trash. Okay, let's. I'm gonna keep going up. I'm gonna keep going. I'll keep Baby Yoda parts because it's kind of a sucky puzzle, and I only Want the chunk? I'm using my painting. But it also feels wasteful to throw it in the garbage. Help. How do I best utilize the 56 of a puzzle without having to do the puzzle? That's from Puzzled Puzzler in Peril. Peas. I also lost a piece of the puzzle. That sounds psychological. Oh. Puzzled puzzler in peril. P.S. i also lost a piece from the puzzle that's not in the chunk that I'm taking.

[Griffin McElroy]

That elevates it. Actually.

[Justin McElroy]

That makes it even more than I'm gonna tell you to throw this away. What else do you have?

[Unknown]

I bet if you're a collage artist, it's very difficult to throw away flat things.

[Griffin McElroy]

Anything. You gotta always have your head on a fucking swivel looking for flat stuff that would look cool cut up.

[Unknown]

You ever think about how much work kidnappers must put in to finding the right letter?

[Griffin McElroy]

It must take hours.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

To find letters that are.

[Unknown]

You cut them all out of the same Cosmo. You know what I mean? You gotta mix it up.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a really good point. What kind of shitty collage artist has a bunch of tiny pictures of parts of baby Yoda and throws it away? Hello.

[Griffin McElroy]

Welcome, Justin. Welcome, Justin, to the other side of the seaside, buddy.

[Justin McElroy]

Unbelievable.

[Unknown]

Now maybe you can make a collage. A puzzle's kind of like a do it yourself collage. Wouldn't you? Think about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Man.

[Griffin McElroy]

A solvable collage for sure.

[Unknown]

Have you ever wanted to. 100% a collage.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've always wanted the right way. Get the platinum on an art piece that I do.

[Unknown]

When you put a puzzle together, no one's ever like, you did it wrong.

[Griffin McElroy]

First of all, you have the stuff to make two pieces of art. You've doubled what you have. One is the piece that incorporates the big chunk that you took out of the puzzle. That's cool. I'm gonna sit up. I don't know why I'm like fucking goblind out in my chair. The second one is the rest of the puzzle with the piece missing. And that's saying something. Cause it's about the Yoda that's not there. But also from that there will be a small piece missing. When the people look at that and say, but what's the small piece meaning? All of a sudden they're trying to get to the bottom of your art story. Which is really the secret to art is tricking people into paying very close attention to it.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Into thinking there's meaning in it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right. They'll see that. They'll be like, is this really a piece of artwork about the baby Yodas that aren't there? But wait, what's this little piece missing? That's the secret. I'm a fuck up. That's the message.

[Justin McElroy]

The thing is, I lost it.

[Unknown]

That's my favorite thing about art is that when people say like, well, it means this to me or it means this to me, you say it means different things to different people.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And that means you didn't know what it meant when you made it. You saw it looked nice.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would be sick if water lilies just had a big hole in it. And they were like. What happened is like he put his elbow down and it went through the painting. I see that. I'm like, wow. Artists are just like us.

[Unknown]

We're all fallible.

[Justin McElroy]

We really are all just people.

[Griffin McElroy]

We all make mistakes and mess ups sometimes. And you don't gotta let it not bring you down.

[Justin McElroy]

This puzzle question is a good, good example of why I am so happy. I recently discovered burning things. Oh sure, I got a. You know, it's cold weather outside, but it's been a little bit more temperate.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And it's a great time to go outside and start a fire.

[Unknown]

Burn your think.

[Justin McElroy]

And I hate wasting stuff. Really. I. I do. I hate wasting things. I have a big problem with that. Right. If I have something, I don't want to waste it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

But here's what I've recently discovered. Cause a lot of the waste that I have and been struggling with lately does happen to be woodworking waste.

[Griffin McElroy]

So that is some of God's most burnable stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

Right. So what I've decided though is that if you burn it, you didn't waste it. Cause you got enjoyment from the fun and warmth. So you're not wasting it. What I'm saying is if you burn this puzzle and then you watch this puzzle of baby Yoda warm and you take ple in like the warmth of baby Yoda and the visual, just like watching it, it's not a waste. Well, in fact, it was good.

[Griffin McElroy]

You did that. It was good.

[Unknown]

I'll take it a step further, Justin. I recently saw a physicist.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't huff it.

[Unknown]

No, don't huff it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do not huff it.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't do this indoors. Did I say that? I should have started.

[Unknown]

I saw a physicist talking about that if you were to burn like a piece of paper, you can't create or destroy energy. So hypothetically, if you collected all the warmth and ash and water and everything that was made by that fire, you could Put it back together. So you're taking this sucky puzzle and you're making it into a much more challenging puzzle.

[Justin McElroy]

What the. What you said made not a damn lick of sense, Trav.

[Unknown]

Not a lick of a.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you collected that, if you grabbed all the. If you siphoned the paper energy. The paper energy?

[Justin McElroy]

Like, what are you saying?

[Unknown]

Yeah, man. All of that stuff still exists. You didn't destroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I know, but I transformed it. I burned the paper and it created heat, which is a type of energy.

[Unknown]

So before that, it didn' of the paper still exist.

[Griffin McElroy]

May I please, Please. Before that, it didn't have paper energy. That's crazy.

[Justin McElroy]

It was a picture of baby. It was a part of a picture of Baby Yoda.

[Griffin McElroy]

It was a part of a picture of Baby Yoda. It was.

[Unknown]

Every picture of Baby Yoda has. Has storied energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

What energy?

[Justin McElroy]

The energy.

[Unknown]

The energy that's holding the molecule.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is that puzzle of Baby Yoda vibrating on this?

[Unknown]

Griffin, when you burn Baby Yoda, you are releasing the bonds that hold the molecules together, creating energy.

[Justin McElroy]

Every picture of Baby Yoda is energy and dirt. It's just fire and dirt.

[Unknown]

What do you think Gambit does when he picks up the puzzle pieces of Baby Yoda and he turns them into little bombs?

[Justin McElroy]

Turns it into fire and dirt.

[Unknown]

Yes, that's his power.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right, but what energy could the paper possibly have if I plug my phone? But it doesn't. If it did, I would be in some real trouble. Cause I got some envelopes on my desk. You're lucky.

[Unknown]

I can't remember the opposite of kinetic energy because that's what it is. But I can't remember potential energy. Thank you, Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, guys, I just got a low battery notification on my phone. Let me plug it into my books.

[Unknown]

Oh my God, Griffin. It's potential energy. And you need Gambit to turn it into Connecticut.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know about potential energy. It's when you look at a rock and you're like, I could throw that. It would go so fucking fast. I'm turning arm energy into throw energy into move energy. I understand all that. If I look at a piece of paper and say if I burn that, it'd be hot. That's not energy, it's an idea.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the times when science lies to us. What Travis is saying is that if you burn all the stuff from Baby Yoda and you put it all together. Picture, picture, picture of baby. A picture picture of a Baby Yoda. What I'm saying is, if you burn a picture of Baby Yoda, you Get ashes and nothing. And that's the truth.

[Griffin McElroy]

You get heat.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the truth.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not gonna short sell here to Travis. Here you do get the heat.

[Justin McElroy]

Get ashes and. Yeah, and what's heat? Griffin baby Yoda. That's the picture of his energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's energy that comes out when it gets too hot.

[Unknown]

Why does it get hot?

[Griffin McElroy]

The temperature moved up too much and the thing freaked out and it created an incredible fire from the energy stored within it.

[Justin McElroy]

Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Am I energy?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You're star stuff, baby.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know I'm stuff. Like, I think about that all the time.

[Justin McElroy]

But you're also energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool, man.

[Unknown]

Yeah, dude, science rocks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

There's fire inside you.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't need to be like that. To me, this is a moment of wonder and excitement. And he's not stupid.

[Justin McElroy]

He's not the quarterback. You know what I mean? Like, we don't have to. He's not the wood shop teacher. We don't have to.

[Unknown]

Like, you don't have to be a dick about.

[Justin McElroy]

He's on a lacrosse coach.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is a sake. This is a cool moment.

[Justin McElroy]

I wanna alienate.

[Unknown]

Hold on.

[Justin McElroy]

There's gotta be somebody else. I did alienate.

[Unknown]

Come on.

[Justin McElroy]

You got it, you got it, you.

[Unknown]

Got it, you got it.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not a geologist.

[Griffin McElroy]

A geologist. Wow.

[Unknown]

That was a bad pull.

[Griffin McElroy]

Rock scientists. We were all thinking it. Juice. I have energy.

[Unknown]

You have energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's going to get me through today.

[Justin McElroy]

Trav, I do appreciate that you are just.

[Griffin McElroy]

I hope when we clip this, because sometimes they clip ones we don't want them to clip. And I'm not excited about people getting in the comments and telling me the things I don't know about middle grade science.

[Unknown]

Does that mean. Could Gambit touch Griffin and turn him into a human bone?

[Justin McElroy]

I think Gambit should be doing that more. He doesn't talk about it, but, like, the other thing he could do is melt your fucking clothes and blow you up.

[Unknown]

Blow up Magneto's whole clothes.

[Justin McElroy]

One thing I didn't try that. I could try everybody.

[Unknown]

One thing I could try is I could blow up his pants. Mon cheri.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait.

[Unknown]

Sorry. What? I could try those pants.

[Justin McElroy]

One thing I could try, mon cheri, is touching his helmet and blowing his fucking brains up.

[Unknown]

Wait, Gambit, don't do that. I'm just saying I don't see that shit coming.

[Justin McElroy]

Mon cheri. Why is it nightcrawlers? Like, I could teleport inside of him just once.

[Unknown]

It would be so bad for me.

[Griffin McElroy]

But, like, I Don't know.

[Unknown]

I can hold a big stick. Teleport. So I land kind of in front of him. Magneto might be through him.

[Justin McElroy]

By the way, it's Wednesday, February 5th.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is Wednesday conference, February 5th.

[Justin McElroy]

So Magneto might be good right now. I don't actually know, but if Magneto is bad, that's the. Easy.

[Unknown]

A sentinel. Well, yeah. Couldn't. Couldn't Gambit just touch a huge sentinel.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then, like, okay, what if he touches the ground?

[Unknown]

What if he aggressively adjusts himself?

[Griffin McElroy]

What if he aggressively adjusts himself on the Grammys?

[Unknown]

Oh, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

On nights on Music.

[Unknown]

My balls.

[Griffin McElroy]

Music's biggest night. Gambit makes his balls explode on stage. We're all excited for Sabrina Carpenter, but I just watched Gambit, you know, Remy blow his balls up on stage. Really overshadows Beyonce's accomplishment, if you ask me. When we had to watch Gambit blow up his balls on the Grammy stage.

[Unknown]

Music. And then weep.

[Griffin McElroy]

He weeped for an hour. Of course he weeped. Like.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he probably died.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think Gambit died on stage.

[Unknown]

Unless they cauterized.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's go to the Money Zone.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better.

[Travis McElroy]

It's better with you. It's better.

[Unknown]

This podcast, this one right here, why? It's sponsored by Squarespace. Come on in. Have a seat. Welcome to Squarespace Presents. My brother, my brother and me, a Squarespace endeavor.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mm.

[Unknown]

What do you guys think about this? I'm thinking if I say Squarespace enough, they'll have to pay us more.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's. Yeah. I mean, that is.

[Justin McElroy]

I love that.

[Griffin McElroy]

We've literally never talked to our ad people, but I do think that that is an unwritten rule of advertising.

[Unknown]

We were created by Squarespace.

[Griffin McElroy]

We came out of Squarespace. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

We were a dream that Squarespace had.

[Griffin McElroy]

And made one big egg.

[Justin McElroy]

It cried a single tear.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. The tear became an egg. We all three came out of it six years apart.

[Justin McElroy]

The egg's name was Thought. We leapt from the egg fully formed.

[Unknown]

And we suckled at the teat of Squarespace.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is cool. This is a cool ad.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a cool legend.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And that's how we became.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm, like, willing to let my brain go to more out there places now that I know I'm made of energy. Like, that's sick.

[Unknown]

Did you know Squarespace is made of energy?

[Justin McElroy]

It is.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's made of Internet energy, and it can share that with you. You can harness it. You can grab it with both hands and harness the power of Squarespace and.

[Unknown]

Accept payments the easiest way possible.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

With all the different methods, Squarespace Payments puts the energy in your hands.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's right.

[Unknown]

You can get started with just a few clicks and give your customers more way. With popular payment methods like Klarna, Ach and Apple Pay, you can grow credibility and engage visitors. What?

[Justin McElroy]

I wanna grow my visitors.

[Unknown]

I wanna grow. Yeah, okay. I wanna engage credibility and grow my visitors.

[Griffin McElroy]

I bet they can do that too.

[Unknown]

Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

My credibility has never been better. And my audience is bigger than ever with my incredible Ray.

[Unknown]

Whoa. You have so many people in your audience? No, no, just five of them. But they're all 12ft tall. And they have an unrivaled suite of visual design effects built in and ready to go on any Squarespace website. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to Launch, go to Save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't want to do this ad because I don't want a bunch of people out there who chomp my flavor. Cause I got these glasses at Warby Parker.

[Unknown]

Oh, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I did get these glasses and I've gotten a lot of compliments on these glasses. They are assertive. They're statement glasses. They are saying, yeah, I need corrective eyewear in order to party in this world, but I look good doing it. But if there's a bunch of people out there walking around with these Lisa Loewy beauties on their blind.

[Unknown]

Griffin has glasses and he's king. And he doesn't want to stop being king.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I'm not saying that. Warby Parker's great. The app is genuinely, I have fun when I use it, which sounds like bullshit. Yeah, it's a pleasant experience, but when you use it, you see, like, all these different style opportunities and you press a button and then you can see what they look like on your face. It's magical. It's incredible. And then you get the five pairs of the home try on program so you don't buy a pair of shitty glasses.

[Unknown]

Well, they have a ton of options, Griffin. Just tell people not to get your specific glasses.

[Griffin McElroy]

I won't even say nice try. I won't even say mine. Good luck, treasure hunters. It's out there. They just got some new frames in. Also for the new year. I'm not even reading, gang. I'm not reading the copy points. I just like Warby Parker. Let me make sure I didn't skip anything, though. No. Okay, we're good. Get started with Warby Parker's virtual try on. You can try on glasses and sunglasses, seeing the realistic color, texture and size of each style. Right from home right now. Or head over to warbyparker.com mybrother right now to take the home. Try on quiz and pick five pairs of frames to try on at home for free. That's warbyparker.com mybrother warbyparker.com myBrother It's a shame I'm a little bit under the weather because I feel like that one was pretty solid and the kind we could send to, like one of our companies that advertise for it or that. So sometimes we do it. Good. Sometimes we do it. We really do it.

[Unknown]

That could have been in our highlight reel. When we win the Iheart Podcast best Ad Read award.

[Griffin McElroy]

We are never, ever, ever.

[Unknown]

Not if people don't vote for us.

[Griffin McElroy]

No. I don't even actually want people to waste their energy on it.

[Unknown]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

There's nothing you can do?

[Unknown]

I would just love to earn Conan's respect for once.

[Justin McElroy]

Never happened.

[Griffin McElroy]

Never happened. Audience, we love you. There simply isn't enough of you to move the needle on this one. So save your. Save your efforts.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't even try it, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Unknown]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[Griffin McElroy]

I know what you're thinking.

[Justin McElroy]

That maybe you're gonna try anyway and get everybody together and embarrass really hard. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dead ass. Dead ass. Don't bother.

[Unknown]

But.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't bother. There's no chance. I know, I know, I know. It would be pretty cool.

[Unknown]

And we're an underdog and sometimes people root for.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not. I'm on. I'm going to the other side of the seesaw. And I know it's a futile effort. Well, fucking hell, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Huh?

[Unknown]

Break down in the system.

[Justin McElroy]

It's Valentine's Day.

[Griffin McElroy]

Holy shit.

[Justin McElroy]

Happy Valentine's day, everybody. It's February 5th, but by my calculations, it's also our Valentine's Day episode.

[Unknown]

Yeah, man. And our Groundhogs Day episode.

[Justin McElroy]

And our Groundhogs Day episode. Isn't that something? Oh, man.

[Unknown]

And super bowl. And our Grammys.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm actually pretty mad about this first one because I completely missed it. The opportunity to buy this Duncan capsule collection for Valentine's Day. You know what? I'm not even gonna give him the satisfaction. Go fuck those guys.

[Unknown]

I need more energy. Like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do that. More of just like. That's right. KFC's got a new chicken pizza. You know what?

[Justin McElroy]

Fuck those. Kfc. I don't mean that. Kfc. That's good.

[Unknown]

You know what? To fuck kfc. All they're missing is you.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, true.

[Unknown]

No, I just want K and F and a C and fuck. Well, but not a U.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, it's good, it's good, it's good, it's good. Now I just wanted to real quick mention that for the big game, BW Threes is doing it again. Probably. It's kind of. This is one of the weirder press releases. I don't think I've ever read a press release that's kind of equivocating. Even after paying up on the. On the deal last year, B Dubs once again offers America free wings if the big game goes to overtime. Now for a little context. Last year there was this contest from BW3STID where not even contest, but like a promotion where if the game went into overtime, everybody gets free wings. And you know what happened? The game did good overtime, so everybody in the world ate free wings there the next day.

[Griffin McElroy]

How did they stay extant as a.

[Justin McElroy]

It's. It's an. It's a miracle. You read that right. Football fans can rest assured that Buffalo Wild Wings is bringing back its iconic overtime deal for the seventh consecutive year. When the thrilling big game went into overtime in 2024, fans across the nation were able to celebrate with free wings. After making good on its promise last year, Buffalo Wild Wings is daring to once again put a wager on the line if the big game goes into OT. BDubs is ready to do it again. Free wings.

[Unknown]

Now, what I love there is that they talk about it like there's a risk associated with it. As though, like, yeah, man, listen, it fucked us up real bad last year. Oh, my God. We had to lay off half of our employees.

[Griffin McElroy]

We had to drop the wec, which is bws too.

[Unknown]

But now, man, we just can't help ourselves. Like, we're doing it again.

[Griffin McElroy]

The only way we can get our rocks off is by almost blowing it big time.

[Unknown]

And do we win anything if they don't go into overtime?

[Justin McElroy]

No.

[Griffin McElroy]

You guys have to. Maybe you guys would come in and buy some wings. If they don't go into overtime, you.

[Unknown]

Give us free wings that then we sell back to you.

[Griffin McElroy]

We like wings. We don't get. We don't actually get to eat that many wings here, which is especially since.

[Unknown]

We gave so many of them away.

[Griffin McElroy]

We like wings, but we don't get to get them.

[Unknown]

If it doesn't go into overtime. You have to come work one shift.

[Griffin McElroy]

Unpaid at the wing factory. It's spicy.

[Unknown]

Work, everybody.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're.

[Unknown]

Now the air is full of spices. The ground is silvery with salt sauce. We have. We have constant injuries here.

[Justin McElroy]

Please come so last. So here's the quote. Are we crazy for bringing our overtime deal back after last year's turnout? Maybe.

[Unknown]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

After giving away 2.5 million wings last year, we know it's a bold move to bring it back.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's 1.25 beautiful birds.

[Justin McElroy]

Now think about this for a second. Okay, wait, let me finish the quote. For us at BDubs, it's all about the thrill of the game. And we're pumped to give all football and wing fans another chance of scoring big, no matter who they cheer for. So here's my question is this. Each chicken is going to give you four wings by my math. Uh huh. So 2.5 divided by 4.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're right.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like 600,000 ish. Right?

[Unknown]

6. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

625. 625,000 chickens. How is Mr. Mahomes and his friends supposed to handle the pressure? Imagine you're kicking guy.

[Unknown]

Yeah, right.

[Justin McElroy]

You're going to kick it for the tie. And if you kick it for the tie, you're kicking over half million chickens to death. So here's the stats.

[Unknown]

Now to be fair, kicking guy free.

[Justin McElroy]

Either you get your ducats or you send 625,000 fucking chickens to the cemetery.

[Unknown]

Kicking guy in Kansas City has some questionable opinions. He might fucking hate chickens.

[Griffin McElroy]

He might actually want very badly for this to happen. Oh fuck man.

[Justin McElroy]

It's huge stakes.

[Unknown]

Huge, huge stakes. Here's what I'm going to say. If BW3s had had the sheer power to be willing, they should take it a step further and include a lot of side bets where it's like if the first thing is a field goal, if the first point scored is a field goal, then we will cover the windows with sauce. Right? Have more random bets. Right? Everybody gets like a beer mug full of ranch. If the game is tied at halftime.

[Griffin McElroy]

If it's tied at halftime, our VP has to get his butt out. Something really fun. Low stakes.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Whoever our mascot is will eat a whole live chicken.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

If Patrick Mahomes cries once and is.

[Justin McElroy]

Like on camera.

[Unknown]

Out of sadness.

[Griffin McElroy]

Out of sadness.

[Unknown]

It can't be a happy cry.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can't be. I just won the super bowl for the ninth time in a row. God, what a boring fucking sport. Are you kidding guys?

[Unknown]

My hands are so heavy. Too many rings they should make. If the quarterback has won before, he should have to wear his super bowl rings during the game.

[Griffin McElroy]

During the game. I've always Fucking said that. I have always said that. Let's see if superstar Tom Brady can get out there and take home another one. If every time he throws it, a couple of his rings go off and they have to go find him in the grass.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the feature the liberals want for you.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

That one sounds good, though. That one sounds really good, though.

[Unknown]

If you get 10 of them, can you cash them in for a bracelet?

[Griffin McElroy]

You should be able to get one big, like a girdle. Something big.

[Unknown]

Oh, a bill. I mean, at that point.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Cool.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gonna complain about this one real quick. Hungry Howie's. This is a press release on QSR magazine.com the number one spot. Hungry Howie's launches secret menu for big.

[Unknown]

Game for big boys.

[Justin McElroy]

Hungry Howie's is kicking off National Pizza Day and the big game with a new addition to its secret menu, the Hangry Howie Pizza. Perfect for game day gatherings and pizza parties, the Hangry Howie is packed with both flavors and toppings, designed to tackle even the fiercest hunger and cravings. Starting February 9, fans can order the Hangry Howie exclusively through the secret menu for delivery and carryout. What the fuck do you think a secret menu is? Cause I'll give you a hint. It's not a thing you write press releases about. No, all it is is it's not a secret menu.

[Unknown]

We didn't print off new, like, you know, plastic whatever signs to go in, the lighted things that you see behind the counter that tell you what it is.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is a good point. Especially when McDonald's used to really iterate fast and hot and would just toss shit on the menu. They did effectively have a secret menu. Insofar as every time I went to McDonald's and was like, yeah, let me get that bratwurst. Let me get that bratwurst. That hits so good. Most of the time they're like, what are you fucking talk. You can't order a hot dog in here. Are you out of your mind? You do have them back there. I promise.

[Justin McElroy]

At Hungry Howie's, we know that National Pizza Day and the Big Game are sacred occasions for pizza fans, says Jeff Rinke.

[Unknown]

What says sacred?

[Justin McElroy]

Sacred, Travis. Sacred, much like language is sacred to those of us that care.

[Unknown]

I thought you were saying sacred menu, but you've been saying sacred menu this whole time.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, that's right. Right. Passed down on tablets as part of our sacred menu. It highlights our commitment to the sanctity of marriage. Hungry Highways began as a thousand square foot hamburger shop in Taylor, Michigan, and.

[Unknown]

Now we ran out of bugs.

[Justin McElroy]

Making a mockery of the word secret, My partner and I received a fancy MILF frother for Christmas. I'm man, I said milf.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know. And no one said anything, though. Did you catch that? How me and Travis are growing?

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm very excited about it. And I've been making fun frothy milk drinks at home. When we have friends over, I make frothy milk. I offer to make frothy milk drinks for them, but they often turn it down. I worry this is because they're worried it'll be too much work for me. I want to share froth with the world. How can I encourage my guests to accept a frothy drink? And what should I try frothing next? That's from frothing in the big city.

[Griffin McElroy]

Man. It's been a while since we've had a full blown mad person up in here. Yeah, it's been a while since we've had a real wild one like this.

[Justin McElroy]

I would like to. I would like to try to help this person, please. Because I feel like I have often been the person in their situation. Right, sure. I'm excited about something like that. I think is very fun and decadent that maybe others aren't as like necessarily charmed by. And like, recently what a lot of people in my life, sort of like friends and family have around me have started to communicate is that they do not like this. Right. So this is an unenjoyable way for me to be behaving.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Justin McElroy]

Friends who I try to like, who are maybe like, to use this example, I'll make a frothy milk drink and just shove it in their hands. Stuff like that they've expressed to me. Sort of everybody I know is like, that's not something that they enjoy or indeed will continue to tolerate.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right. Yeah.

[Unknown]

So you're working on making new friends or.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think you came to me for me to say stop it, but I have learned recently from a lot of people around me that the answer might be, yeah, stop.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. Like, it's like the welder.

[Justin McElroy]

Just like, cut it out.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's like the welder thing. Like you have experience with this specific thing, so you can give kind of like evidence of the best course of action.

[Justin McElroy]

A younger me might have had some different advice, but this new me has had his eyes open quite a bit.

[Unknown]

See, this is fun because in many ways I am a younger Justin and I was going to say a different thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's hear your thing, Trev.

[Unknown]

My thing was.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I'll, like, judge as, like, sort of third party. Cause I don't. I don't give a fuck. So I'll judge for both of you guys.

[Unknown]

Here in the Midwest, we have kind of a secret menu of conversation. Yeah. Where, like, you offer once and then they say no because they think it would be an inconvenience. And then you offer again.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And then they say yes.

[Justin McElroy]

That's when it's clear you need it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

No, it's really no trouble.

[Griffin McElroy]

If someone.

[Unknown]

Three times.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I was a guest in someone's house and they said, do you want a frothy milk drink? First of all, my answer would be, of course, no, I don't want to drink any milk drink. But especially one that you thickened, one that you sort of carbonated a little bit. That's going to be a no for me, dog. If they offered it to me a second time, I would leave. That is that person has an. Has a bad relationship with the thing that they're trying to give you. And I want to be out of. I want to get out of that. I already did say no.

[Unknown]

I have to get out of that one time. For Christmas, I think Theresa got, like, one of those whipped cream canister things where you put the CO2 cartridges in. And we were so excited. We had people over and made pie and hot chocolate and stuff, and we're like, can we have this thing? And I believe it was only used by Teresa and myself. And it was like an audition for. For the whipped cream canister to become a permanent fixture in our lives. And it failed the audition, as it often does.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

In a cabinet, you go, goodbye forever.

[Griffin McElroy]

My favorite game is watching Top Chef when someone pulls one of those out and being at home like a wise asshole, just like, that's gonna fucking explode. And it does every. Never works. It explodes. Doesn't work. Every time.

[Justin McElroy]

Doesn't work. It's a pain in the ass. And then at the end of the day, no one is trying to solve the problem of, like, I'm really not getting enough whipped cream.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, you're not making. I need to get better. Higher volume whipped cream. Day to day in my life, have.

[Unknown]

You noticed that when someone uses even, like, just a can of whipped cream, there is a second of such terror as you push on the nozzle of, like, what pressure is about to spray out of here and just fling hot chocolate everywhere. Or get, like. It's never, like, A gentle buildup. It's like, right the first time, and it, like, everybody gets nervous for a second.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think you simply can't offer it a second time. I'll leave the house. I'm your guest. Now, in this instance, that's wild. You don't ask a second time. You need to work on your first sales pitch. You can only really get this question out the door one time. I'm kind of a tea guy now. That's, like, my new thing. I get nice teas and I have fancy pot for making it, and I like it. I drink it every night. Love a tea. And so when someone comes over and I wanna give them tea, I'll be like, do you want some tea? I got the really good shit. Or, like, I'll say something to let them know, like, it's going to be good. So what could you say, sort of about frothed milk?

[Justin McElroy]

One thing is, like, I'm doing one already. Like, I'm already frothed. Like, you could be mid froth. Like, whoa, this is looking pretty good. Do you want one?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, like that.

[Justin McElroy]

You take this one.

[Griffin McElroy]

You say, don't make me be the only one frothing over here.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Peer pressure.

[Unknown]

Also, you could just go ahead and have a barista, like, outfit on and, like, have a counter set up with, like, a register and write their name on a cup and be like, what'd you want?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

One thing I've tried is if they say no the first time, kind of being pouty and petulant for an hour.

[Unknown]

Ooh, I like that. Show me how that works, Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, here's what you do. You do that, and then every 20 minutes or so, your wife will ask you if anything's wrong. You say, no, no, no, seriously, nothing. It's fine.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then eventually you snap out of it. I don't know, something else catches, and.

[Unknown]

You kind of spin the frother sadly in the air.

[Justin McElroy]

Just like someone quietly knocks on your bedroom door and says, actually, you know what? I'm actually kind of Joseph for some frothing. If that's.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's way too late. It's way too late. At that point, it's too late.

[Justin McElroy]

No, but I threw that thing away.

[Unknown]

No. Yeah, that's stupid.

[Justin McElroy]

Stupid.

[Unknown]

That's stupid.

[Justin McElroy]

I didn't even actually have one based.

[Griffin McElroy]

On what you said earlier. Juice. I didn't know that this was an option to do what I'm about to do. But I don't like when you do that. Yeah, I don't like, when you do that.

[Unknown]

I know I do. It makes me feel superior to you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't say that enough to hope that you change.

[Justin McElroy]

But the reason that I know that I have this insight is that I have started to become, in this year of our Lord 2025, my. My way that I'm being faster than fear. And I'm kind of like, I know we're getting ahead of things a little bit with the finale, but it's like, I'm just telling people what's happening up there now. I'm just telling people exactly what's happening.

[Unknown]

You're sharing thoughts and feelings with people.

[Justin McElroy]

Not sharing, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're doing the energy thing.

[Unknown]

No, that was an honest.

[Justin McElroy]

See, that was a wonderful grill. Yeah. No, what I'm saying is that I'm just telling people that, like, for example, in this milk frother, if I were in this situation, I would say, hey, can I froth you a milk drink? It's really all I think about anymore. And if I don't make someone a milk frothing drink, I'm gonna actually think about it all day. And you will say what that frees people in your life to say is, yeah, I will take one for future reference. I don't like this.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Justin McElroy]

And that frees me from ever having to think about it again. Because they have said, I don't want it. And I'll say, okay, sounds good. But they didn't know to tell me to cut it out unless I told them how weird I was.

[Unknown]

This is something I started doing with my wife because there are many TV shows and books and things that I enjoy that she does not, and I desperately need to talk about them with someone. And I will say, hey, I know you don't care about this thing. I just need to, like, say my feelings about it out loud for, like, two minutes, and then I won't bother you about it again. And she's like, okay, go. And she'll listen and go, oh, cool. Whoa, that sounds nice. And then we're past it.

[Griffin McElroy]

So you're saying next time I offer someone tea, I should walk in and be like, hey. I say I'm kind of a tea guy now, but I feel like such a fucking phony about it.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin, I'm so close.

[Justin McElroy]

Keep going.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey. I say that I'm kind of a tea guy now because I buy it, but I buy a lot of shit, and I feel like a total phony. I think the tea is really good, but if I don't get Someone to mirror me a little bit and tell me if my judgment about the tea is accurate or not. I'm going to feel like this for. For as long as I drink tea, which may be a minute, it may be the rest of my life. I don't know. Will you help me? Help me drink this tea and tell me if I'm full of shit or not. And if you say I am. Cool, man. Next hobby, I'll get back to candy making or some shit.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Authentic authenticity, whatever.

[Justin McElroy]

The thing is, it doesn't have to be a hobby. Be like literally anything you just say. Just say how you're feeling. I know, I know. Yeah, but like, honestly saying it, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, not in a way where you think people are gonna be scared because a lot of other people are thinking pretty wild stuff too. You'll find once people just start saying it all the time, it's pretty liberating.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the energy, huh? That's the energy. I finally figured it out. That's all the energy.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, here's what's going on. And I'm honest with myself a lot more in that sense too. Because, hey, it's been this way upstairs the whole time. I have no reason to think they didn't. I might as well start. Listen, listen. If the landscape ain't gonna change, I better start printing maps.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Cause it seems like things are gonna.

[Unknown]

Be this way for a while.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love that, Justin. They might add new guys to the Inside out movie, but the old ones are still there.

[Unknown]

Hey, where's the hyper fixation guy, by the way? I want to see that guy in my brain. In my inside out brain. That guy who's just like man 3D printing, though. Like, it's all we've ever loved, right? It's all we've ever talked about.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

We can go broke on filament, right? Right. We all love this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do the inside out guys have littler inside out guys inside their heads?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

I didn't see inside out.

[Unknown]

It's the cars universe.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. The cars are inside the inside out guys. Cars is happening inside one of the.

[Griffin McElroy]

Inside out guys and it's telling them how to feel.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Justin McElroy]

What's his name? It's Miles Teller.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Stuck in your crawl, huh?

[Justin McElroy]

What a weird.

[Unknown]

Inside the car sky.

[Justin McElroy]

Miles and miles today.

[Unknown]

Inside of lightning McQueen is Wally telling him how to feel. And inside of Wally is Joseph Gordon Levitt trying to get him out of there. Trying to give him the kick to get him back up to the service.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's awesome. And the service is the little girl in inside out.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Correct.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. Hey, thanks for listening to our podcast. Another great normal one. We really appreciate you being here with us. If you want to come laugh together. February 20th and 21st, we're going to be in Tampa with my brother. My brother. Me and Taz, respectively. First, Taz live in Florida and we got. That's going to be Taz versus Romeo versus Juliet. That's going to be really good. February 22nd, we're in Jacksonville with my brother. My brother. For more info and ticket links, go to bit ly McElroy tours.

[Unknown]

Also right now we've got just a few more cabins for Champions Grove available. Now. That's going to be Memorial Day weekend in May. I believe it's May 22nd. 23rd or 23rd. 24th. 25th. 26th. We're doing a four day weekend. Come hang out with me and a bunch of other great roleplay, actual roleplay creators and a bunch of wonderful people playing games in a castle in Ohio. We also have the scholarship application form up [e-mail]. come check it out. Get your tickets, get your packages before it's too late.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got some new merch over at the merch store [e-mail] for you to peruse. Also, if you missed our Candle Nights special last year, you can still watch it video on demand. It's pay what you want. All proceeds go to harmony house and 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will be donated to World Central Kitchen over@macquarie merch.com. thank you to Montagne for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better with youh. It's a fantastic one with a steady beat that you can really bop to.

[Unknown]

Now, Justin, we had a listener submitted faster than Fear. Would you read it this week?

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, I would be happy to.

[Unknown]

Should we make some like vroom, vroom noises or like drums?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll be honest, doing noises last year really got played out for me real fast.

[Unknown]

Okay. Yeah. The jealousy just ready?

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's play with silence.

[Justin McElroy]

Whoa, Griffin. Say that again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's play with silence. Did you like that?

[Justin McElroy]

I think there's something there.

[Griffin McElroy]

I say shit like that all the time. Man, I gotta start wearing one of those little recorders.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I love that. Hey, listen, in this, the year of our Lord 20 Thunder Drive, I'm releasing my fear of birds. Just because a parrot cussed me out in a pet store when I was seven doesn't mean all birds hate me. It just means that local hooligans taught the parrot how to cuss.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a good fear to have. I actually wish you did. Still some birds that you're afraid that.

[Unknown]

All birds hate you, so some of them are out.

[Griffin McElroy]

A little bit of that is a little bit.

[Unknown]

A little bit not at the cussy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow, that makes the chocolate taste sweeter.

[Unknown]

Birds have to have their own cuss words that we don't know about. I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

Kiss your dad square on the lips. You.

[Travis McElroy]

My life, it's better, it's better with you it's better My life, it's better, it's better with you Cuz it's true? It's better, it's better with you, my life.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum Fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

A worker owned network of artist owned.

[Justin McElroy]

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