MBMBaM 754: Dinglebuff Hufferbuff

Summary

Episode Summary: MBMBaM 754 – "Dinglebuff Hufferbuff"

Release Date: March 17, 2025
Podcast: My Brother, My Brother And Me
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

---

1. Introduction and Victory Lap

The episode kicks off with Griffin McElroy humorously disclaiming the trio's lack of expertise in giving advice:

• Griffin (00:00): "The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed."

Following this, the brothers engage in their characteristic banter, setting a lighthearted tone. Griffin takes a moment to celebrate their successful Max Fun Drive fundraising campaign, praising their creative approach:

• Griffin (01:10): "Can we just take a quick little victory lap and really pat ourselves in the back? This is a good like... our genius plan to make buku bucks in the Max Fun Drive this year."

2. Max Fun Drive Promotion

The conversation seamlessly transitions into promoting the Max Fun Drive, highlighting its importance for sustaining the podcast:

• Justin (05:03): "If you're abstracting it out that far, man, you are freestyling."
• Griffin (05:42): "Genuinely, this show would not. It's wild that this show has been running for 15 years... largely uninterrupted... because of y'all and the support that y'all give us."

They detail membership benefits, emphasizing the exclusive content available to supporters:

• Justin (06:43): "At $5 a month, you're going to get an absolute wealth of bonus content."
• Travis (06:58): "This year we recorded a Hot Ones audition... We did a couple thousand episodes of podcasts, and it's all because of you."

3. Penguin Skit/Segment

A humorous skit featuring a character named Penguin interrupts the episode, leading to playful frustration among the brothers:

• Justin (02:03): "Rachel, please. No, please promise me. Don't leave any of that in. Rachel."
• Griffin (09:31): "You're late for work. I want to teach you the ropes."

This segment showcases their improvisational skills and comedic timing, adding entertainment value to the episode.

4. Swearing and the Wizard Cloud

The trio delves into a discussion about replacing swear words with more acceptable alternatives, aiming to guide listeners on managing profanity:

• Griffin (11:23): "Do you know that you have a tone of voice you say when you're about to rip a big fart?"
• Travis (35:32): "Yeah, I’d rather it not be all at once."

They explore creative substitutions, invent new expletives, and discuss the impact of swearing on communication and relationships:

• Griffin (43:43): "This one actually does hit. Dingle buff."
• Travis (43:46): "Dingle buff does hit. I'll give you that one."

The segment is both informative and comedic, reflecting the show's unique blend of advice and humor.

5. Pizza Hut Pizza Charcuterie Ad Parody

In a mock advertisement segment, the brothers parody a Pizza Hut commercial, introducing the fictional Pizza Charcuterie board:

• Justin (55:22): "Move over, salami and brie. Pizza Hut is taking charcuterie to the next level just in time for PI Day."
• Griffin (56:35): "All Helter Skelter."

This parody not only entertains but also satirizes modern marketing tactics, highlighting the show's knack for blending real-world references with humor.

6. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode nears its end, the brothers reiterate the importance of supporting the Max Fun Drive, expressing gratitude towards their listeners:

• Griffin (29:31): "Do you like alt comedy podcasting birds? You're gonna love some of these jokes."
• Justin (60:03): "If you don't yet support the show, there's a lot of great bonus content available to you."

They discuss upcoming stretch goals and encourage listeners to engage with their content through various platforms:

• Travis (32:04): "And all of that is available for just $5 a month."
• Griffin (33:20): "We've got a bunch of wild stretch goals. We'll talk about that a little bit later."

The episode concludes with playful interactions involving the Penguin character and final thank-yous:

• Justin (62:24): "Yeah, it was a pleasure. Thanks for having me."
• Griffin (62:38): "Hey, hey, hey, listen, we lost the iHeartMedia podcast awards for Best ad Read again last night to Conan."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Griffin (00:00): "The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed."
• Griffin (01:10): "Can we just take a quick little victory lap and really pat ourselves in the back?"
• Justin (05:03): "If you're abstracting it out that far, man, you are freestyling."
• Griffin (05:42): "This show has been running for 15 years... because of y'all and the support that y'all give us."
• Travis (35:32): "Yeah, I’d rather it not be all at once."
• Griffin (43:43): "This one actually does hit. Dingle buff."
• Justin (55:22): "Pizza Hut is taking charcuterie to the next level just in time for PI Day."
• Justin (60:03): "If you don't yet support the show, there's a lot of great bonus content available to you."

---

Key Takeaways and Insights

1. Community Support is Crucial: The episode underscores the importance of listener support through the Max Fun Drive. The brothers emphasize how membership directly sustains and enhances their content creation.

2. Creative Fundraising Strategies: Their inventive approach to promoting the Max Fun Drive, including humorous skits and parodies, demonstrates effective engagement with their audience.

3. Balancing Humor with Advice: The discussion on replacing swear words reflects their ability to blend practical advice with comedic elements, catering to a broad listener base.

4. Engagement through Parody and Skits: Segments like the Penguin skit and the Pizza Hut parody illustrate their talent for creating entertaining content that resonates with listeners.

5. Transparency and Gratitude: The brothers maintain an open dialogue about their operations and express genuine gratitude, fostering a strong community connection.

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Conclusion: In "Dinglebuff Hufferbuff," the McElroy brothers deliver their trademark blend of humor, advice, and community engagement. Through celebratory moments, creative fundraising promotions, and entertaining skits, they reinforce the vital role of listener support in sustaining their long-running podcast. The episode not only entertains but also provides insightful discussions on communication and community building, making it a valuable listen for both long-time fans and newcomers.

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if.

[Griffin McElroy]

There'S a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out.

[Travis McElroy]

There will know how cool they are for listening.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, you cool, baby?

[Travis McElroy]

1, 2, 3.

[Penguin]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels live it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better it's better with you it's better with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Guys, before we get started, can I. Can we just take a quick little victory lap and really pat ourselves in the back? This is the show, by the way. This is a good like. Yeah, can we give ourselves a freaking pat on the back for our genius plan to make buku bucks in the max fund drive this year? The whole act we. Oh, it took. It was so hard to come up with the year theme. Oh, we got to do it twice. We did all that that we fully made up and acted out on the spot so that we. So we could generate a year theme that kind of sounds like Max Fun Drive.

[Justin McElroy]

Max Fun Drive Fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

And everyone's been saying it all year, like 20 Thunder Drive, they've been saying the undrive. Like we got that seed in their heads. They didn't even realize.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin. Yeah? Look at the light.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no. We're live.

[Griffin McElroy]

No shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Rachel.

[Justin McElroy]

Rachel, please. No, please promise me. I did. Promise me. Don't leave any of that in. Rachel.

[Griffin McElroy]

I didn't see the red flashing light because I have Andromeda Strain and it made me go to sleep.

[Travis McElroy]

No fart.

[Justin McElroy]

No shoot.

[Travis McElroy]

Your Andromeda Strain acts up at the worst times.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just go ahead and start. Just do the show.

[Justin McElroy]

Just forget it. Rachel. Cut. Cut in all of it, brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

My brother.

[Travis McElroy]

No, we need to come in better than that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, come in.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Take a deep breath. Maybe it's.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, you got the.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's just skip that.

[Griffin McElroy]

We'll skip this part.

[Justin McElroy]

Cut all that. Cut all that.

[Griffin McElroy]

And we'll just drop in the pre canned shit. Like, you know how we have like 100 pre canned.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we sat down.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry. That light really sent me, guys. If that ever got out. How manipulative. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Anyway, welcome to Max Fun Drive.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello, my brother, my brother and me.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, yeah. I'm telling you, man, the pre canned shit is aces. We worked real, we worked our taints off on that stuff. So don't even sweat it.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, wait. Oh, I'll start it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What up, Trav Nation? Vroom, vroom. It's me, your middlest brother, Travis. Big dog, wolf. Wolf McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know why we're doing that. We got this in the camp as Griffin. We got this one in the can already.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, we have to put it in the can to have it in the can.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, first we got to open the can, we got to put it in, make sure it's sanitary because otherwise it's.

[Griffin McElroy]

The friggin Max Fun Drive. We should put in the most work. We should be doing jumping jacks.

[Travis McElroy]

That's when they don't talk about having it in the can is a lot of fucking work, guys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Someone's got to put it in the fucking can, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

How many of you out there listening have ever canned before?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Travis McElroy]

That's what I thought.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. Oh, wait, it's all of them. I'm looking at our demographics, Travis. Everyone here has done canning. Wow. Amazing. Yeah, no, we don't.

[Travis McElroy]

It seems like too much work.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is too much work.

[Justin McElroy]

I would think. Our audience self selects for a lot of canners.

[Travis McElroy]

I feel like we attract a lot of doomsday preppers.

[Justin McElroy]

No, like artisan canners. You know what I mean? Like, anyway, I can't.

[Travis McElroy]

It's for the aesthetic that way.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's the aesthetic and it's the whimsy. It's not out of necessity.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

They put those coiled up springs in plastic sheaths that pop out. I can see it's like, whoa, I thought this was canned tomatoes. Can you imagine being in a post apocalyptic scenario and you're so excited because you found a pristine can of like beans or tomatoes or whatever and you open it up and like those coiled spring snakes pop out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Hilarious.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's really funny. Hey, so it is the Max Fund. If we don't start talking about the Max Fun Drive, I'm gonna have an actual panic attack.

[Justin McElroy]

I've been looking for the little link to click on the thing, so I'm just gonna freestyle it right now. What is the Max Fun Drive? Okay, we're part of a podcast while you're really freestyling.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you're abstracting it out that far, man, you are freestyling.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, we're on a podcast network and the way it works is it's like a pledge model, right? Once a year we come to, everybody listens. It's like, hey, if you like this, can we have a few dollars every month, please? And if you like it and you can give us a few dollars every month to help us make it and help us pay people to help us make it and make all this stuff all the time to help more good stuff be on earth, that's great. We would really appreciate it because we like making good stuff. And when you support us, we're able to make this our full time job and make lots of good stuff for you and hire people to help us make weirder stuff. And it's all thanks to your support.

[Griffin McElroy]

Genuinely, this show would not. It's wild that this show has been running for 15 years. Next month. No, largely uninterrupted. That doesn't happen really, even in the world of comedy, independent podcasting space. But it's because of y'all and the support that y'all give us. I don't know if you noticed, podcast advertising market's not the best it's ever been. There's really just a few road dogs we roll with these days, a tight crew here on Bimbam, and our livelihood.

[Travis McElroy]

Might argue we're flapping off the back of their motorcycle, holding on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Very, very much so. And our livelihood and ability to support our families cannot exist solely if one of us doesn't say something wrong during an advertisement. That's too high risk. We will drop that fucking ball in a second. It's because of y'all that we are able to do this now. We are.

[Justin McElroy]

We do have something to offer you. We're not coming to you completely. Hat in hand. We have some. Some very nice.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you. Is it our respect, our appreciation?

[Justin McElroy]

We do get that. But if you can opt for $5 a month, you're going to get an absolute wealth of bonus content. I mean, it is an archive at this point, I think it. The Justin T. McElroy Memorial Archive of Bonus Content.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hashtag.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, this is how I find out.

[Justin McElroy]

Days and days and days of videos and podcasts. This year we recorded a Hot Ones audition.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, no, listen, we love y'all and the support that you give us is the reason we do the show. If we get on fucking Hot Ones.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Not a lot of people have the guts to put their auditions behind A paywall.

[Travis McElroy]

But here we go. That's the kind of heat we are bringing.

[Justin McElroy]

If you get any.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we. And if you're wondering, we do fucking die.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. It's brutal. We do terrible things to our bodies.

[Travis McElroy]

While interviewing each other. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

About increasingly sensitive, weird topics. It's must see podcast TV.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. But also, if you can do 10 bucks a month, Pins are back. We got some beautiful show, specific pins. There's a tribulation with it. I think you're just gonna love. If you're a fan of our stuff, the address to go to. If you want to Support the show, MaximumFun.org join, please become a member today. It really is the only way we're able to do this show. And I know that, like, you've been relying on this show being here for, like, 13 years. Whatever. And we love making it for you. Almost 15.

[Griffin McElroy]

Almost 15.

[Travis McElroy]

I did just hold enough to get its learner's permit, which is very fitting. Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

I know that these 14 years, we've meant a lot to each other, and this show means a lot to you, and I'm just saying it'd be a shame if something happened to it. So.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, what's that?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm just saying, it's a real nice podcast you got here.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sure you really love listening to it and it's been around a long time.

[Travis McElroy]

Jay, man.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a real staple of the podcast community, and it'd be a shame if something happened to it.

[Travis McElroy]

J Man, just a quick.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no. The J Man's gone. It's me, the Penguin. Listen.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Penguin, you've been listening to the McElroy brothers.

[Justin McElroy]

Rainy, you thought you weren't gonna pay the duel, but these are my boys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You're gonna pay my boys what they're owed. You're making a fool out of me, Penguin.

[Travis McElroy]

The Penguin. Penguin, Can I give you a quick note?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I have one, too. Penguin.

[Travis McElroy]

He's normally in. I'm Travis. In the protection racket, people don't normally, in a business they own, threaten their.

[Griffin McElroy]

Customers their own business. Yeah. Hey, you see this umbrella?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. You see it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Face up on the wall.

[Griffin McElroy]

God dang.

[Justin McElroy]

There's facing the wall. They're traversing.

[Travis McElroy]

That's your vase. Crash, crash, crash. But it's your vase. But it's your vase.

[Griffin McElroy]

Crash.

[Travis McElroy]

Your own vase.

[Griffin McElroy]

Penguin, it's me.

[Justin McElroy]

I work, protect. That's Justin's vase.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's me, Penguin. Your ward and consigliery. Puffin. And I want you to know that that's puffin.

[Justin McElroy]

You're late for work. I want to teach you the ropes.

[Travis McElroy]

How you going, Penguin?

[Griffin McElroy]

This Laundromat, basically, that we own, we own a podcasting studio.

[Justin McElroy]

Laundromat, please. If you don't take it seriously. Yes, we let him record in our Laundromat.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, the vase cost $3,000 from you.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, well. Are you okay?

[Travis McElroy]

Don't pout.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't get fucking fussy, Penguin.

[Travis McElroy]

Listen, have you had breakfast? You have to get.

[Justin McElroy]

I came here to threaten the listeners not to pout about not having my McMuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, well, here's a sardine.

[Justin McElroy]

But I didn't have my McMuffin, okay?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's what he calls raw fish. He calls sardines his McMuffins.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Please help us.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a McMuffin. Ron Wrigley.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maximumfun.org join, please. We're doing this for two weeks. If you're already a member, you can boost your support, help us hit our goals. We got a bunch of wild stretch goals. We'll talk about that a little bit later. And also, we're gonna be streaming, like, every day for the next two weeks. So we'll talk all that later on. But for now, we're gonna give you. Let's give them a taste.

[Travis McElroy]

I was thinking, since it's the max fun drive, that we could maybe elevate the momentum building.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we could elevate the quality of the content we make. Maybe get a little highbrow, maybe a little classy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you know that you have a tone of voice you say when you're about to rip a big fart?

[Travis McElroy]

Well, it's funny you should say that, Griffin. Cause it's time for work of fart.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, but there's no theme song, so your voice goes like a. It's like a curved. You have like, a portamento to your voice when you're about to really take rip shits.

[Justin McElroy]

A lot of people don't realize that once you work with your brothers for long enough, you can just start to dislike each other on a molecular level. You can really start to dismantle individual. It's not even words or ways people act. It's individual inflections. I have fine, hostile.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have this framed piece of art in my room, and it's the three voice tracks, waveforms of our voices. And sometimes I'll look at two of those and just be like, God dang these fricking guys, man. But go ahead, Travis. I'm not Gonna grouse. I beat ass at this game.

[Travis McElroy]

In this Jane Austen novel, while the sweet sister Jane falls in love with the anthropomorphic penis named Mr. Bingley, the witty and oftentimes difficult sister Elizabeth quarrels, falls in love with the anthropomorphic penis named Mr. Darcy.

[Griffin McElroy]

And this has dick or something in the title.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not dick or fart or ass.

[Justin McElroy]

And we all know the easy part of this is the book. We all know that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. For sure.

[Travis McElroy]

We all know Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, Jane. Of course.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Jane Austen wrote it.

[Justin McElroy]

I think we all know the book. So let's figure out the pun from there. Griffin, Griff, I see you Googling.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no. I accidentally deleted an image out of one of our documents here, and I didn't mean to do that. It was an image of someone's face, and it looked like I was saying, no, not them. They can't be.

[Justin McElroy]

Sense and sensibility is one of the options that is available. That may be right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think this one's Pride and Prejudice.

[Justin McElroy]

This one might be Pride and Prejudice.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not Little Women, and there's two.

[Travis McElroy]

Anthropomorphic penises listed in the description.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Pride and prejudge two dicks.

[Travis McElroy]

I'll accept that it's Pride and Prejudice, but I will accept prejudge two dicks. That's close enough. Very good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Prejudge two dicks sounds like. And you know what? A more reasonable man would have just said prejudice, but I was trying to climb into the recesses and folds of your dark, dirty, bad mind.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, God.

[Justin McElroy]

If you get a cut back there, you will definitely get super tetanus. So please.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I don't wanna.

[Travis McElroy]

This Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel chronicles the multi generational saga of the Buendia family in the fictional town of Macondo, where the patriarch Jose Accardio Buendia establishes a secluded, almost utopian community based on the consumption of lots of fiber and the importance of healthy bowel movements.

[Griffin McElroy]

A hundred years of solid poop.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. 100 years of solid poos. Yes. Thank you very much. Very good, Grandpa.

[Griffin McElroy]

I hate, like, 100 years of solid booze. That would be the worst. That would be so bad.

[Travis McElroy]

This Maya Angelou Alpha.

[Griffin McElroy]

Incredible things are happening across the river. People moving like monkeys, and their shits are of a more comfortable consistency.

[Travis McElroy]

Good job. This Maya Angelou, by autobiography spends a surprising amount of time on her struggles with constipation.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know why the caged turd sings. Travis. You should feel bad. You should feel bad.

[Travis McElroy]

I feel bad about that.

[Griffin McElroy]

You should feel bad about that one.

[Travis McElroy]

I feel so bad about that.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad. We're asking for money. Tries.

[Travis McElroy]

I know. Listen. I feel terrible about it. Support this, support that. Make that happen more. Make that happen more. We should make it possible for people.

[Griffin McElroy]

To get a discount on their support of us. If they want to do $5 a month, they should be able to do 480 to send a message to Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That enough is enough.

[Griffin McElroy]

Enough is enough. You get a 1% discount. And that 1% is for the works of farts. That Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

That one hurt me, but I love.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Travis McElroy]

One more. Young Mary is sent to live in the home of her uncle. She feels alone at first, but eventually befriends a young man named dickon and her cousin Colin. They bond over their reluctance to pass secret fartin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, Travis is breathtaking right now. Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

The rest of that was over their reluctance to pass gas in public. Eventually, the three find joy in a hidden plot of land where they can go and release their flatulence in peace. Yes, Justin. Secret fartan is Travis.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm really sorry because secret fartin was obvious, but it was a very good setup that I should have let you complete.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, because part of the prize. Part of the prize for us winning this game and getting these guesses so right is that there's less of this is that there's less setup. When you see the ship coming in and you can see the name on the side from the distance say secret fartin. You shouldn't have to stand there and wait to watch it die.

[Travis McElroy]

That's the only one I think maybe I've ever come up with where I would actually like to see that version of it of just kids being like, if you'll excuse me for a moment. And then running out to a secret walled plot of land. Passing gas like, oh, I think coming back inside.

[Griffin McElroy]

It turns out that that one kid's not sick. It's just he keeps coughing to cover up his secret farting.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, yeah, there's a problem with this branch. Look at this one. If you bend this one just like this. You see, it's a problem with them. I can tell for branches still alive. Look at this one. That's a good one. That's a good living branch.

[Travis McElroy]

You're not supposed to do that. That's a good one.

[Justin McElroy]

But look at this one over here. No, as well. That one's good.

[Travis McElroy]

Too much all the flowers are dead in a three foot circle around you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not good at that.

[Justin McElroy]

I check these out.

[Travis McElroy]

That.

[Justin McElroy]

That was Wick earlier. That's weird.

[Griffin McElroy]

My father is so busy in the country. So busy in the countryside.

[Justin McElroy]

My boyfriend has five birds that occupy their own room in the house. He spends an hour a day at least with him and with them. With them, I'm assuming.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. And then he puts them to bed every night. I want to experience the joy of birds with him. But whenever I go into their room, they start screaming, brothers, how can I get these little dinosaurs to like me? That's from bird brain.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's okay. Birds know how you. Birds are very receptive. Birds know how you feel about them. It's an evolutionary trait. They have to. To make sure that you don't stomp on them and take their eggs and steal their. And become the mother of their birds. Because that shit happens in nature all the time. So maybe you need to look inward first to figure out why you don't like the birds. I can answer one thing, is because your boyfriend spends one hour a day with the birds. That's a lot of time.

[Travis McElroy]

I hope the boyfriend spends at least 61 minutes with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not equivalent. It's not okay if we're looking like that doesn't work like that.

[Travis McElroy]

So how many minutes is bird minutes? The human minutes that they would need to spend with their partner to balance it out. I mean, one hour, it's different.

[Justin McElroy]

It's an excellent question, Travis. I think, I think. I think it's actually 61 minutes is more hurtful than, like 20, because I feel like 61 is, like, attempting equivalency, which is sad. I feel like it's better if it's like, I love a birdman. Like, and I got to accept he's a birdman. I love a birdman. I move in with a birdman. I share them with the birds. I take the scraps. You know, if when you, you know, like a Priscilla Presley, you know, she realized she had to share Elvis with the wolf, with his birds, with his birds and also his fans and the Colonel, you know, everybody, Colonel, everybody.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it one solid hour? Does he go in? Does he clock in for an hour and clock out? Because I have to assume the birds.

[Griffin McElroy]

What do you do with birds for an hour?

[Travis McElroy]

What happens to them the other 23?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I will say this.

[Travis McElroy]

Are they watching videos? Are they playing Fortnite?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, wait. You guys are gonna love. You guys are gonna love this one. Have you seen David after Dennis. Birds. No, of course not. You're birds. Check this shit out.

[Travis McElroy]

Check this shit out. You'll love it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you guys like alt comedy podcasting birds? You're gonna love some of these jokes. Do birds have any money?

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe you scream back at them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

This might be a respect thing, because birds, they. They don't. Hey, this might surprise you. They don't communicate the same way humans do. So maybe they're screaming because they're excited to see you. And you scream back at them and they'll be like, mm, nice. And now you've got their respect. Maybe they don't like you, but they respect you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does your boyfriend know the birds don't like you?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, you should.

[Griffin McElroy]

Next time these birds start screaming at you, you need to be like the. You know, the stepmom and parent trap and be like, do you see what these little shits are doing to me? Do you see this? Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

It's time. And then you send birds to birding school. You fold. That's boarding school for birds.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's good. Travis, I'm so sorry I didn't recognize your genius.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a good. But what if you want to learn.

[Travis McElroy]

To bird, then you're Brenda Frickering as hard as you can. You come in with handfuls.

[Justin McElroy]

20, 25.

[Travis McElroy]

We gotta talk about Brenda Fricker less.

[Justin McElroy]

Or have her on clubhouse or have a funeral for her on Clubhouse. If she has passed, I do not know which.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jesus Christ.

[Justin McElroy]

One of the two should happen.

[Travis McElroy]

That's all. Why did that upset you, Griffin?

[Justin McElroy]

Why is that brand of Fricker passed?

[Travis McElroy]

We should memorialize her. The irony is, if you make a statue, will the birds know what's up?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know. It's like if they poop on it, it's like. She would want that.

[Travis McElroy]

She would want that, right?

[Justin McElroy]

I think it is very.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not that I want us to stop talking about Brenda Fricker. I would like us to stop yelling about Brenda Fricker.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think maybe 20, 25, we.

[Justin McElroy]

All yelling about Brenda Fricker.

[Travis McElroy]

We try to have more modulated.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, we get excited. We get excited because we know her name. And that's cool. It's a fun name.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a fun name to say. It's a fun image.

[Justin McElroy]

The problem is the funny.

[Travis McElroy]

When she throws the birdseed at Joe Pesci and Timor's own.

[Justin McElroy]

More talk about Brendan.

[Travis McElroy]

It's amazing, but I'm trying to do it, Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'M trying to mellow.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm just down here.

[Griffin McElroy]

ASMR Voice.

[Travis McElroy]

Trying to do some Brenda Fricker.

[Griffin McElroy]

ASMR Go ahead, Justin. Talk about not Brenda Fricker.

[Justin McElroy]

What I was gonna say is that I think the problem is the fact that there's a discreet room where the birds are located, and that creates this situation where you know how much time is being spent with the birds. I will say this. If my wife had to go to a room to hang out with her cats, I probably wouldn't see my wife very much, if at all. Yeah, you know, I. I think it's very easy to sit here and say, wow, an hour. My cats are pretty much always with my wife, and she spends more than an hour telling them when I'm not being a great husband. You know what I mean? Like, she sends a lot of time sowing seeds of discord with the cats.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, I would also say that I'm betting your boyfriend came into this relationship with five birds, and it's not accumulated over the time you've been together. So now the birds.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a wild guess. You're absolutely. From.

[Griffin McElroy]

You have no idea.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, I'm just saying that based off my own judgment that if my wife comes home with one bird, I'm like, okay. By the time we get to three, I think I'd be like, that's enough.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're replacing.

[Justin McElroy]

You're replacing me with that based off my own judgment. You had 100 birds, and 95 of them died. And you should be really nice about the five that are left because he lost 95 birds. Now, that's just my own judgment of.

[Travis McElroy]

What might have happened. That's a little corner we call Justin's judgment. What I'm saying is, if he came in with five birds, the birds. You're not sharing him with the birds. Those birds are sharing him with you. So when you come into the room, the birds are like, we get him an hour a day. The rest of the house is yours.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You get to hang out there. Why are you coming in the one room we have? Let the birds out.

[Justin McElroy]

Let em out?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Turn your house into aviary. They will. Birds will love you then. They know that they are prisoners because of you. You're their warden.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

They know that if it was his house, they would have free run in the place. That's what I'm saying. The room is the problem. If you want. The birds are smart, man. Crows can do puzzles.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

It's 2025. Crows can do puzzles. They know that you are the warden. If you want them to love you, you must turn your home into an aviary and let them free. Let them fly free.

[Travis McElroy]

Take the hinges off.

[Justin McElroy]

Take the hinges off.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep, they gotta be free. Could you get five snakes?

[Travis McElroy]

Huh?

[Justin McElroy]

Could you get six cats?

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa, hold on.

[Travis McElroy]

Seven dogs, eight ponies, nine donkeys, and Larry motivated marmoset.

[Justin McElroy]

And.

[Griffin McElroy]

How about another question?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I'll help you with that. No problem. It's my absolute joy. I occasionally go to Madagascar on research and bring back some cured vanilla beans straight from the source. That is probably the most cost efficient way of getting them. Because with the prices of vanilla beans.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know anything about that. I don't know anything about that. I do.

[Justin McElroy]

I soak them in vodka for months and then funneled them into little bottles to give them.

[Travis McElroy]

Sounds like me on a rough week.

[Griffin McElroy]

On a rough weekend. Travis soaks vanilla beans in vodka.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I soak myself. I soak myself in vodka is what I meant.

[Justin McElroy]

I soak them in vodka and then send them to friends and family and podcasters. P.O. box 54 Hunty Plus Episode 06 let's get that Vanilla Pipeline Flowing About a year ago, I gave each of my co workers one of these little bottles. When passing one particular, they put a frowny face emoji in it.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, I'm angry.

[Justin McElroy]

Frowny face. An angry emoji Co worker's office just now I noticed her bottle is on a shelf full of junk, still in the Ziploc bag, untouched and collecting dust.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

What are my vanilla custody rights in this situation? Do you think she'll notice if I grab it and take it back home for myself? Should I try to convince her to covet this special extract that's from vanilla in vain?

[Griffin McElroy]

1 Can I just say I appreciate your pride and your craft to say this shit's dope and this loser wastoid is looking a gift horse in the mouth and then putting the horse in a bag. A dusty old dusty bag. And I'm glad that you have the strength of your convictions to know you are in the right here and this person's a fucking monster. I don't know what to do with a bunch of beans soaked in booze. I imagine dibble, dabble it into cakes and creams and cookies and whatnot. It's just extract. Huh? It's just vanilla extract.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, maybe you just take that bag with the bottle off the shelf when they're not looking, set it center of their desk, walk away if you pass at a later time and it's back on that shelf. All yours.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but if she smashes it. Cause she thinks a ghost got in the bag and is moving shit around in her desk.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's a problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then she goes mad.

[Travis McElroy]

Could you leave a note that says a ghost didn't move this?

[Griffin McElroy]

I did.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't even ask. This is a ghost.

[Griffin McElroy]

I moved this. Not a ghost. Signed, the Scarlet Pimpernel. And then you'd be like, God damn it, guys, the Scarlet Pimpernel's back in our fucking office and he's moving all of our shit around willy nilly.

[Justin McElroy]

Can we talk? If we could, wouldn't this be a good moment for the Scarlet Pimpernel to get back?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

20, 25. You mean like for this vanilla extract.

[Travis McElroy]

Or in life in the world.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm just saying it would be cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

If there was like a Scarlet Pimpernel. You know how he. Yeah. So he is a chivalrous Englishman who rescues aristocrats before they are sent to the guillotine. What if Different Scarlet Pimpernel.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, Twist, twist.

[Justin McElroy]

He's like, ashley, I brought you to my worst guillotine.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm the Blue Pimpernel.

[Travis McElroy]

I stole you from the other guy. I'm the Azure Pimpernel. I have brought you some extra Aristocats or Kratts. Not the Aristocats. That's a different thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

No one's lining up to Guillotine the Aristocats, Travis.

[Justin McElroy]

They're fucking delight. Bringing vanilla to the poor and death to the rich.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin McElroy for president.

[Griffin McElroy]

And this is easy, guys, because the Azure Pimpernel, the Cerulean, the Sapphire Pimpernel, it's just a palette swap. We can take all the assets from the Scarlet Pimpernel and just do a little bit of work in the hexadecimal code. Easy adaptation.

[Travis McElroy]

That's great. We're going to have that rollout by, I think, April.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. We are also gonna do some co branded stuff. So if you want to slap a logo on there, you know, you can have your own Philadelphia Flyers branded one. Or like, gotta be blue logo.

[Travis McElroy]

Mark.

[Justin McElroy]

Mavs. I would love to put a Mavs logo. Mr. Q, do you want Mavs?

[Griffin McElroy]

We'll put Mavs right on the back of it, Mark.

[Travis McElroy]

When we get to Yellow Pimpernel and Pikachu's in there, I'm gonna be so excited, you guys. That's where it's. That's where it's really gonna blow up.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would love to see Pikachu take a swing at some Aristocats.

[Justin McElroy]

I thought that sentence.

[Griffin McElroy]

You thought, I would love to see Pikachu.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd love to see Pikachu.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, I'd love to see Pikachu. It would be cool. Not because I'd be excited to see Pikachu, but it would suggest that there are other real Pokemon, too. Like, that would give me some.

[Travis McElroy]

You wouldn't be excited to see Pikachu?

[Griffin McElroy]

I would be like, whoa, right? But I wouldn't be like, that's my dog. That's my guy. It would be exciting because I would know that the world of Pokemon is real, as I've frequently theorized. But for the actual.

[Travis McElroy]

Read your dissertation, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, I'm glad. I worked really hard on it.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, you got your doctorate. Is that enough?

[Griffin McElroy]

We also work really hard on this show with a team of other people that we have been fortunate enough to hire. This is a max fun drive break.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Whew.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, did you want to talk more about the sapphire? No, no, no, Penguin, we did you.

[Justin McElroy]

So you think you can hold hell on him, huh? Tell them what the money's for.

[Griffin McElroy]

When we started, it was the three of us talking into. Oh, you gotta let me get through the copy, though, Penguin, you gotta let me talk. Ping.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, he's gesturing.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's gesturing kindly.

[Justin McElroy]

The floor's yours.

[Travis McElroy]

What is?

[Griffin McElroy]

The three of us clowns on rock band mics plugged directly into our computers. And now we have a team of people who help us to make a lot of stuff. Our video stuff blew up last year because we have people in help house.

[Justin McElroy]

I have nothing to do with that.

[Griffin McElroy]

I guarantee you.

[Justin McElroy]

I heard about it. I heard about it blowing up. It was a real tragedy, But I.

[Travis McElroy]

Wasn'T anywhere in the neighborhood.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, I don't know nothing about nothing blowing up.

[Travis McElroy]

All right?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you like the McElroy family clubhouse? Did it last year. And it was because of the support that you gave us. We've made, like, I don't know, a couple thousand episodes of podcasts, and it's all because of you. So maximumfun.org join is where you can go to become a member or boost your membership. Should we talk about some of the gifts that we have?

[Travis McElroy]

May I? Travis?

[Justin McElroy]

Let's say I want to get my beak wet. What's in it for me, huh?

[Griffin McElroy]

And we should say that this penguin does have a beak.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. So, like we mentioned earlier, at $5 a month, you get access.

[Griffin McElroy]

I need you to stop moving your head like that Penguin, if you don't mind. Thank you so much.

[Travis McElroy]

At $5 a month, you get access to hundreds of hours of bonus content that you only get as a Max Fund member. It includes all the past content from all the past years. This year there's the My Brother, My Brother and Me Hot Ones audition. We did Charlie verse 3 for the adventure Zone, which is Justin. Yeah. Justin runs a one shot adventure written by his daughter Charlie, with contributions from all of our kids. It's wild.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so good.

[Travis McElroy]

Sawbones Nights, Medical Mysteries, Shmanners. We did an episode all about genie wishes, the history of them, the etiquette of them, and how to best make your wish so you're not tricked by a genie.

[Justin McElroy]

There's blueprints for Gotham City Bank.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

In the file you do view all. See hidden open all jpegs, you can see a map of Gotham City Bank. That's gratis.

[Travis McElroy]

That's good. That's a thank you. Wonderful. Did an episode of Hockey Talk Badakadog with Dave Schumka. This year.

[Griffin McElroy]

It fucking rips. It's just us asking Dave for an hour. Dave Schumka plays hockey. So it's just for an hour. It's us going like, what's it like to play hockey? And it's. It's good shit, man.

[Travis McElroy]

And all of that is available for just $5 a month. At $10 a month, you get your choice of an enamel pin designed by Tom Deja of Boss Graphics. My brother. My brother. And he's got travnation. Taz has stopped calling me baby. Sawbones, Kill all the mosquitoes. Shmanners is a monster truck with flowers and teacups. Wonderful is Jeff the poetry Dragon. And still buffering is a CD Walkman. There's $20 a month. You get a 60 inch by 30 inch beach towel or Max Fun rocket logo bucket hat. There's also $35 a month, $50 a month, up and up. But all of those, even at just $5 a month, makes it possible for us to do this. If everybody gave $5 a month, it would be an absolutely just amazing year. And that money goes to the shows that you listen to. It supports Max Fun in a small part, but the majority of the money that you commit to as a member goes directly to the shows that you love, the shows that you look forward to listening to, and to the creators that make them. It's an incredibly unique setup that I, in all of my years of doing podcasts and talking to other people, doesn't exist. Anywhere else. A way for the listeners to directly support the art and the artists that we love. And we feel so special in a.

[Justin McElroy]

Rapidly changing media environment, to put it mildly. This has allowed us to weather so many storms because of your support. You know, like this is. It's so much more sustainable because we own it and it's ours and no big companies own it. They can't sell it to some terrible person. So it's a good system and it's owned by the people that make it. So that's pretty cool, I think.

[Travis McElroy]

And Max Fun is owned by the people that work there.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what I meant. MaxFun is owned by the people that make it, both the shows and the network itself. It's all co op.

[Griffin McElroy]

Also, if you have been listening for a while but have never become a member during the Max Fund drive because you are uncomfortable with doing a monthly support thing, there's also a prepay option so you can just pay for the whole year, get all the great gifts and help us meet our goals. Boost your membership that way. Also, we're going to have a bunch of stretch goals throughout the week. This will come out on the first day of the drive, the first one that we're announcing. If we hit 2000 members, we're going to do a six thumbs any percent star road live stream on YouTube. The three of us playing the hardest levels in Super Mario World while sharing one controller. It'll be a disaster. Bunch of streams did a fuser Max Fundrive kickoff party today, but we have a ton of stuff coming over the next two weeks. Every day, Monday through Friday, doing streams and you can follow that on our Instagram. We'll be announcing timetables for that stuff too. So it is a two week ask that we make that basically determines how well the year goes. Now that we don't sort of rely on advertising so much anymore, especially on all the other shows. Bam bim, bam. We still do. Okay, but all the other shows. It's fairly dry over there, so. MaximumFun.org join help us make our shows. Help us keep this thing growing and making stuff. And we appreciate you more than words can say. Do we want to do a wizard cloud?

[Travis McElroy]

Do I ever do?

[Justin McElroy]

That's a lifelong dream.

[Travis McElroy]

Of course.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, let's do a wizard Marshall.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, Griffin, why do you keep saying it?

[Justin McElroy]

Can we do it individually or that's like all at once.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'd rather it not be all at once.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I mean, let's dogpile this wizard. No, it was sent in Marshall Marshall sent it in first, but a lot of people have sent this one in. And it's been a dereliction of my duty that I have not done this one yet. And I do apologize. I do think maybe this could provide some guidance for us as we move forward as adults, as fathers. It's how to replace swear words with less offensive words.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank God.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was a good start.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Instead of think fuck, which is what I normally do.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Think pic. Thank piss.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank pissies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Make notes on how you swear. Brainstorm all the swear words you use.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God. What a day.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Honey, I can't help with dinner right now. I'm trying to think of all the swear words I use. Fuck. Oh, that's one.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a good one.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm trying to make this shitting list.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, I got it. Is that a normal way I use it, or is that the first time?

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, honey, when's the last time you heard me?

[Griffin McElroy]

Do I say shitting a lot?

[Travis McElroy]

Is that a common one? How many times would you say? Three, four times a day? All right, I'm writing it down.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, hon, can I say something? And you're like. I just want to watch your expression. Pussy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, my God.

[Travis McElroy]

Just.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so that's. So that one's.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't say. Good news is I don't say that one a lot. Okay, great. Knowing how and when you swear is the first step in figuring out inoffensive replacements. For example, you might be able to identify your number one swear word and start by replacing just that one. I do appreciate the work that our listeners and Travis have done in helping us compile some of our swear facts, because I've been trying to clean up my act since that dark truth came out.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I tell you the excitement at building a bracket of swear words to figure out which one I say the most? Which one comes out the number one seat? Because I'm betting there's a Cinderella story in there where I think it's fuck. But it turns out, like I said.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, coming around the bend, it's bastard.

[Justin McElroy]

What? No way.

[Travis McElroy]

No way. Travis says dookie way more than he.

[Griffin McElroy]

What the heck?

[Justin McElroy]

I would love to know. This is the information that I need, is what is our least used swear word? Right? Like, where are we? Like, oh, no. Even the magma, if they. This is like, there has to be a word where if we use it, it's really bad, right?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

There's gotta be a few words that we've only busted out a few times. Like, real stinkers.

[Griffin McElroy]

We don't say ass, which is weird. We say all the other ones.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's true. I will never say H E double hockey sticks.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way.

[Travis McElroy]

That's where the devil lives.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's where he lives.

[Justin McElroy]

If we had started this thing. This is the advice I give to new podcasters. Don't say ass, say a double S.

[Griffin McElroy]

And so much so that it makes people. People will be so weirded out by it after a certain point. Cause you'll say all the other ones.

[Justin McElroy]

Say all the other ones.

[Travis McElroy]

Say all the other ones. Because what you're doing is you're gonna reserve that one. And 15 years in, you're gonna say it for the first time and it's gonna have an impact like you've never imagined before.

[Griffin McElroy]

You could also do it for D A M N. And then you hit one of those one day while you're really angry. And just like the foundations of the building start to crack and crumble. What with the raw power of it. Think about places where you cannot swear they've listed some office, office, school, church bullshit anywhere near children.

[Travis McElroy]

You can't curse at the office. Oh, it's so woke now.

[Justin McElroy]

No, you can't curse on the show the office.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay, yeah, no, that's on network tv.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's true.

[Travis McElroy]

That show would have been so much better if it was just like my fucking stablers and the fucking cello again. God damn it, Jim.

[Griffin McElroy]

The British version.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm gonna kill you with a gun, Michael.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gonna shoot your shittin ass.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck, Pam. You're eating my guts out of my body. Ow. Fart shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, is it the walking dead now?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Fuck, Pam. You're a dead zombie. You're eating my fucking brain. Ouch.

[Travis McElroy]

Ouch. Yowch.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ouch. Pam.

[Justin McElroy]

Kevin made a big pot of human chili. We're all eating his human brain chili.

[Travis McElroy]

And he fucking smelled the human brain shot on the fucking carpet.

[Justin McElroy]

Dang.

[Travis McElroy]

Jim, get over there. Andy, you bastard.

[Justin McElroy]

Jim's the only one alive. And he keeps looking at the camera like, can you believe these guys? It's like, jim, get the fuck out of here. Get out of there, Jim. Don't look at me. The camera guy's a zombie. Jim.

[Travis McElroy]

I do like the cold open where he painted Jim inside on the doors. That was funny. That was good. And then he kind of smirked at the camera, you know, in the way.

[Justin McElroy]

That he goes, when your boss is a zombie.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You thought your boss was brainless.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's jokes there for sure. We won't be brainless.

[Travis McElroy]

We should Write a song about it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, right, Exactly.

[Griffin McElroy]

So think about what you're trying to say when you swear. Sometimes swear words are used in ways that are far different. Okay, let me finish. Sometimes swear words are used in ways that are far different than their actual meaning. For instance, the B word technically means female dog, while the A word means donkey, and the D word means wishing one person to an evil place or a barrier to obstruct the flow of water. I don't think that any of that.

[Travis McElroy]

And ass also means butt, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, it means donkey, for instance. This exam really effed me over. Doesn't say much. While I didn't do well on this exam because I hadn't studied enough for the section on thermal dynamics is much more specific. Yeah, and they hit the same way at the same level for sure. That's what I hate the most.

[Travis McElroy]

And hold on. Article. You can recognize that one of those has, like eight words and one has, like, 27, right? Like that. There is a reason that maybe we wouldn't throw out all of the words. You just say, I fucked up instead of saying, yeah, so I didn't get a good night's sleep last night and I forgot.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I didn't do my due diligence in studying certain topics, specifically thermal dynamics.

[Justin McElroy]

Just speaking of yelling words that sound like curse, words I did want to bring up on the screen here. In the PlayStation game Masters of the Terrace Kasai. It's a Star wars fighting game. There is a character who I'm not even gonna attempt the actual name of this character. Cause in the game, he's called Hohor. Kohar in the game says Hoar. And I got a lot. I had a lot of fun with that as a kid because I would lose. And then I remember one time I yelled, you stupid whore. And then dad came in and I got to be like, actually, got you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Got you, man. Freaky.

[Justin McElroy]

Got you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's get to finding some substitutions. Okay. There's quick euphemisms. Funk instead of.

[Justin McElroy]

Full name, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

Darn. Instead, that's my father.

[Travis McElroy]

Call me Prank. Kohar.

[Griffin McElroy]

What the f. What the heck? Or what the barnacles instead of what the F. Also, what the hell? Wait. Also what the hell? Acceptable.

[Travis McElroy]

Let me just say this. If I'm working in an office setting and maybe something has gone terribly wrong. Something's gone terribly wrong. Not enough people supported the Max fund drive. And now I've had to take a day job back at the office selling paper. And I've just found out that there's a Huge return on an order I sell and I yell out what the barnacles. I think I will be called into hr.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Good news though, Travis. This wikihouse got also other great suggestions. Invent new inoffensive expletives to use instead of swear words. Since these words are newly invented, they won't offend. And some people like swear words will use your imagination to invent replacement words and phrases like brace your ass.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm ready.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bokaluca.

[Travis McElroy]

Nope.

[Griffin McElroy]

Iguamualasha.

[Travis McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

Bokaluca. Bokaluka.

[Travis McElroy]

Why are there so many syllables?

[Griffin McElroy]

IGA molasha. This sounds like a sim. Who is like, you know, they couldn't nut when they made wahoo or whatever and they climb out of bed all pixelated. Like iga molasha ika molasha.

[Travis McElroy]

This sounds like James Cameron trying to come up with curse words.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does. But how about with this one though? This one actually does hit. Dingle buff. Ah, Dingle buff.

[Travis McElroy]

Dingle buff does hit. I'll give you that one. Dangle buff hit.

[Justin McElroy]

Makes me feel angry.

[Travis McElroy]

I love the musical stylings of dingle bump Humperfrum.

[Griffin McElroy]

This work is great, Travis. You're allowed to cuss again. If it.

[Travis McElroy]

If it stops me from saying dingle.

[Justin McElroy]

Buff humber bump, we'll pay it.

[Travis McElroy]

All I'm saying is that when you think about swear words, they're single syllable, very percussive. Fuck. Shit. Damn right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bastard.

[Travis McElroy]

Bastard. And now you're introducing Ingra Von Prunt. Whatever. Like give me a solid percussive sound that means that doesn't have but feels the same way.

[Griffin McElroy]

You won't like this one. Then I literally bedangled my pants.

[Travis McElroy]

That sounds like.

[Justin McElroy]

Is that the example they gave?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep. I literally bedangled myself.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a 90s fashion trend.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, we were all bedangling our genius?

[Justin McElroy]

I just wanna. Okay, wait. If the example is I literally bedangled my pants, then what they're saying is. I mean, the only cursor they could be replacing is like, I literally shit my pants. Yeah, and so what they're saying is like I shit my pants. Like that is what they're saying.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I literally did.

[Justin McElroy]

I literally shit my pants.

[Travis McElroy]

Unless you're admitting to fucking your own pants. I guess that might be the. I shit my pants.

[Justin McElroy]

I guess in a sense, I bashed my pants.

[Travis McElroy]

I literally fucked my pants.

[Justin McElroy]

I basked my ass.

[Travis McElroy]

And I understand why I'm in this courtroom today. I get it. I literally fucked up.

[Justin McElroy]

I shitted my pants.

[Travis McElroy]

I shitted my pants. I get It.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do kind of like having a neutral.

[Travis McElroy]

I throw myself at the mercy of the court.

[Griffin McElroy]

Having a neutral term for I've made a mess in my pants, but you don't know which hole. That's, like, kind of fun for me. It could mean I've sold, dirtied. I dirtied my.

[Travis McElroy]

I've dirtied me all of them. I'm ashamed.

[Justin McElroy]

I've shaved my pants.

[Travis McElroy]

I've awaked my pants.

[Griffin McElroy]

He was so glogged up.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, that sounds like constipation. That doesn't sound.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I got my wee woo beat at bowling last night. Now stop, because that could mean you were defeated in bowling and wee woo is replacing ass or my essence. It could also mean you showed up.

[Justin McElroy]

You went for the bowling and stayed.

[Griffin McElroy]

From getting beat off at bowling.

[Travis McElroy]

Or maybe as someone swung back with the wiimote, they punched you in the dick.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. This is why we need curse words.

[Griffin McElroy]

Curse words. They're important.

[Justin McElroy]

Cuss. Can't tell dick from ass unless you say those words.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's true.

[Justin McElroy]

You can't tell them apart without using the bad words. You don't have to use them.

[Travis McElroy]

We can also agree that if you're trying to replace maybe, let's say, dick with wee woo, there might be situations in which saying wee woo might be, let's say, a mood killer. That might be a problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[Travis McElroy]

If you were to say, for example, that feels so good on my wee woo, that might be the end of maybe an experience.

[Griffin McElroy]

But then they would be like, I thought your wee woo was your butt. And you'd be like, well, in my family growing up. Hey, you guys, wait.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you think bedangling is? Because we're about to talk about that as an option.

[Griffin McElroy]

And, yeah, if I start shouting, I'm gonna bedangle. What does that mean to you? Tell me now before we get intimate. Use outdated swear terms. Some words that were once used as offensive swear words have become either more acceptable or have generally been forgotten.

[Travis McElroy]

Bring him back.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bring him back. Bring him back. Bring him back. Consarn it instead of darn it. Oh, well, instead of damn it. They didn't blur this one. For some reason, they blurred all the other cusses. Cons. Aren't Zuderkins a 17th century term for God's wounds? Or zounds? So this does sound like something Paul wrote.

[Justin McElroy]

Why do you need a 17th century term for zounds? Just say zounds.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that not. Are you not allowed to say zoons these days? Zoons?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, fop. Doodle for dumbass. Hey, if you call me a dumbass, I'll be like, all right, man. If you call me a fop doodle, I'll throw hands. These hands are coming out. They're coming out. Soon.

[Travis McElroy]

I will use your wee woos.

[Griffin McElroy]

These say you're one wee woo fop doodle. I'll be like, get the hands out because I'm throwing mine. And I want it to be fair and I want it to be.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm gonna bedangle your face up.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't talk about fighting a lot on this show, but there's certain words in here that. If you call me a gadsbuddlykins. Unknown derivation. Yeah. Cause you just fucking made it up.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. It's not real.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hands coming out. Borrow fictional swear words. Frak or frak from Battlestar Galactica. Goram from the Firefly series. I will literally wedgie you so hard, you will severance right then and there. You'll become two people from the wedgie. Then it says swear in a foreign language. No, that's cussing. Bleep yourself. This bleeping movie is stupid. I lost my bleeping phone hands.

[Justin McElroy]

Absolutely speak absolutely. How my bleeping Weewoo smack your face. I do get offended by this. I'm realizing this is what being offended feels like. I would be offended if someone is so worked up about profanity that they commit a far graver sin, and that is wresting my attention away.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

With some haggard old dusty bullshit. Yes, please, just like, don't, dude, don't. Don't do it with words. Don't do it with clothes. Don't. Just one of the things.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm trying to do other things. Don't say zounds or frippery or any of that.

[Travis McElroy]

And maybe frippery fucks. You can say frippery.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm not saying that kind of stuff. Don't make me think about you. It's mean.

[Travis McElroy]

My. My personal. One of my personal pet peeves is when in, like, written advertisements, say a newspaper article or a billboard, they will have a curse word, but it's censored out. And it's like you thought you were so naughty, you felt so, and so you invoked fuck, but you didn't want to put fuck because you get in trouble, so you put knife and then the shit. And it's like.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I know.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm thinking fuck.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know.

[Travis McElroy]

Have the. Have confidence in yourself.

[Justin McElroy]

If you ever try to type that stuff, it's Tough.

[Travis McElroy]

So much words.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, you ever try to, like, you're typing something for use and you're trying to like, put in the symbols and stuff. It's not as easy. Like if you guys try to do, like, try to do motherfucker in your browser bar right now. If you take the symbols.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not searching that text motherfucker to.

[Justin McElroy]

Dad just to like, test.

[Travis McElroy]

I have no problem with that. I deleted the picture of the person.

[Griffin McElroy]

Again from this fucking document. It really seems like I'm holding the.

[Justin McElroy]

Grudge symbols to make it. Like, if you want to censor that out, speak eloquently.

[Griffin McElroy]

Circumlocutions or ways of getting around saying something that you don't want to or shouldn't can be used as another way of replacing swear words. This is some of the worst stuff, guys. Instead of I can't find my keys, I'm so effed, try by the beard of Zeus, I declare I have lost my keys. And this has thrown me into a woefully anguished state of mind.

[Justin McElroy]

This is assuming someone is hearing it, right? Like someone will hear you say it.

[Travis McElroy]

If not cuss when no one's around. Right?

[Justin McElroy]

Right. So the only reason is this just to please God, because, like, if that's what it is, like, slow down before you're about to curse and curse God on your own. Like, slow down and like, explain to him that you're not that bad. Because if it's around other people, I don't think that's fair to anyone to hear that, to say all that shit, to say that to them, around them.

[Travis McElroy]

Near them in the grand scheme of things. And listen, I'm. I don't buy into it, but do you think God cares if I say.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck, Travis, you gotta get saved.

[Justin McElroy]

You gotta get saved.

[Travis McElroy]

I did. Twice, Griffin. And you know that. Cause I like the attention. I got 15 years. It lasts 15 years.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, I have to re up it. But do you think that when I say fuck upstairs, God is like, oh, man, Travis, Travis, understands that you're doing.

[Justin McElroy]

This for your job is what I want to know.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, God gets it. God's a podcaster. He loves that alt context.

[Justin McElroy]

I would never do this outside of the context of this show. I hope everybody knows, like, if you meet me in my day to day life, I'll still cuss because that's part of the performance.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Like, that you're meeting the character Justin McElroy, who is a cursor, but like, if you somehow were able to observe Me without me knowing that I'm being observed by a listener, which is impossible when that happens. Yeah, I've trained that since. But if you were to see me without me knowing a listener was observing me, I would never, ever curse.

[Travis McElroy]

No. And I don't interrupt people. I don't speak loudly. My voice is totally normal and pleasant to listen to. All of this is a character.

[Griffin McElroy]

My words I think of as a beautiful gift. And so when I cuss and I make dirty stuff out there, it's just not something I'm comfortable with doing. Not for this show. That's a part of my life that you don't get access to, actually.

[Travis McElroy]

Well. And it's wasted. These are fun words that we use to make you happy. Why would I spill my fucks upon the ground? You know what I mean? I'm not gonna waste those. I'm saving those for Max Fuck Drive.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now, Travis, I don't think that I.

[Travis McElroy]

Lose my right to curse again.

[Griffin McElroy]

You did, Trav. I'm gonna put you in the penalty box.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm Secret Agent Max Fuck Drive, and I'm here to ask you to donate to the maximum fund.

[Travis McElroy]

When I'm shifting up the gears in.

[Justin McElroy]

The fuckmobile, I'm only thinking about one thing, and that's how much I love the McElroy brothers. Podcasting. Not now, Daphne Fast in the car.

[Travis McElroy]

Is the car Daphne? Wait, is the car Daphne?

[Griffin McElroy]

The car is Daphne Fast and the Furious 12. The car is AI. The driver is Pierce Brosn rolls up to La Familia, and Vince, like, I don't know, guys. Like, I know we have an open door, big tent policy here in La Familia, but this. This seems pretty wildly out of esthetic for us. Shall we say, is Max Fuck Drive the British secret agent spy with a car named Daphne that's artificial intelligent? I don't know, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

I think we say car.

[Justin McElroy]

Let me say this. I will say this. Max Fuck Drive is such a big swing. It's probably something we need to run through the whole team.

[Travis McElroy]

Like everybody needs to.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, he's more of a thematic element that everyone's gonna need to practice.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not McElroy. That extends to everybody.

[Griffin McElroy]

That extends out. And listen, I know we broke the dam when we brought John Cena into this cinematic universe to play, basically John Cena, but I do have to draw the line at Max Fuck Drive. There is. I have principles.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a munch squad. I want to Munch Squad. Welcome, Bunch Broad. It's podcast within podcast profiling. Latest at grace of Brand eating. I have a quickie for you today because this. This date has already passed, which is a heartbreaker. Obviously. I always hate, hate it when that happens. But I did want to let you guys know about this image that exists.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool, cool, cool, cool. And that's great. I do like it. I want it so bad. I'm so hungry. I want it.

[Justin McElroy]

Tell me about it. What do you see there? Griffin, you're a fancy guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're looking at. Imagine if a Super bowl party, a car delivering food to it, got in a terrible accident, and then this is what the paramedics were able to recover from the wreck. It is a Pizza Hut Pizza Charcuterie tray, I suppose.

[Justin McElroy]

Move over, salami and brie. Pizza Hut is taking charcuterie to the next level just in time for PI Day.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, baby.

[Justin McElroy]

Introducing Pizza Charcuterie, a customizable, Instagram worthy pizza board designed for the ultimate social gathering. Whether hosting a Pie Day celebration, a watch party, or just looking for an easy but impressive way to elevate your get together, Pizza Hut's new Pizza Charcuterie is the ultimate crowd pleaser. Think of it as a build your own experience that's as fun to design as it is to devour.

[Travis McElroy]

No. Hey, hey. Pizza already comes ready to serve in a.

[Griffin McElroy]

In a great shape. Awesome shape.

[Travis McElroy]

I've never thought, oh, I love pizza so much, but it's so hard to serve up and get out to the people. I know. I'll pile it up in a big Barrett mess.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tossed in a mess, all Helter Skelter.

[Travis McElroy]

Why are some of the wings in a bowl and some of the wings not in a bowl? And some of the breadsticks are in a bowl and some of the breadsticks are not in a bowl.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, Travis, it's like when you pour sake for a friend, you're supposed to overflow the cup. They have overflowed the cup a lot, I will say, with the slimiest looking buffalo wings. God, I would fuck this up so bad.

[Travis McElroy]

This is also a great way that if you got pizza specific to people at your party and they're like, I want it with this, or I'm allergic to this. Be like, hey now, nobody will like it. Cause it's touching. Everything's touching everything.

[Griffin McElroy]

Everything's touching everything. It's awesome.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you like a little bit of buffalo wing on your cheese stick and a little bit of onion on your cheese pizza? And yeah. Oh, okay. Here you go. I do enjoy this morass of edibles.

[Justin McElroy]

To help launch the Pizza Charcuterie Pizza Hut. Teamed up with Robert. Sorry, one second.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can do it.

[Justin McElroy]

No, Griffin, I can't. Because the last name is Gronkowski and you cannot call him Robert Gronkowski. I refuse.

[Travis McElroy]

With Pizza Scientific.

[Justin McElroy]

The man's name is not. He's in a Pizza Hut ad. He's not Robert Gronkowski. Rob Gronkowski is in this ad. And the link to it doesn't work. And that's as hard as I'm going to work to see Rob Gronkowski stack up pizza quote. We've seen creative charcuterie boards take over social feeds. We knew it was time to give pizza the spotlight it deserves, said Melissa Freebe. Yeah, finally. Because let's be honest, stacking crackers is cute, but stacking pizza wings and breadsticks, that's a power move. And I gotta say, Melissa. I agree. I want to say good. I'm glad charcuterie has been not very good for a long time. And I'm glad everybody got together. I've been very vocal about this to Travis and everybody's agreed about this.

[Travis McElroy]

And I'm glad that we finally.

[Justin McElroy]

Pizza's like, oh, yeah, you guys like to eat before dinner? Fuck you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I can eat before dinner.

[Griffin McElroy]

A huge lack of both pates and dried ass apricots on this board. And I am loving that vibe.

[Justin McElroy]

The only problem with it is that there are still olives.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That is the only on some of.

[Travis McElroy]

The a hundred percent what this is giving me. I've been staring at it as one might stare into the abyss. This is the most divorced dad weekend with the kids trying to prove he's still funny.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, don't make it sad. It could also be. It could be sports with your friends.

[Travis McElroy]

It could be trying to prove you're classy too.

[Justin McElroy]

You could be buying a pizza charcuterie board for your friends, trying to prove to them that you're a good dad.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

You can be trying to prove to all kinds. Maybe the office. Maybe you're trying to prove the office you're a good dad.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you never know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mr. Wilkins, in the case, the custody battle between you and your ex wife. Oh, what's this? Oh, you brought a little pizza charcuterie board in for the court. Oh, well, this is.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what?

[Griffin McElroy]

You are a good dad. I can tell.

[Justin McElroy]

What's that?

[Travis McElroy]

You dressed up as an old British lady to still spend time with your kids. Yeah. No, no, no, no. There's no way you're going to prison. What's this? You're submitting evidence to the court. Pizza charcuterie.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pizza Charcuterie.

[Travis McElroy]

Have your own TV show.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you, Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Justin McElroy]

Anyway, that's the news. It's two pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

More like Mrs. Doubt flavor.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, thank you so much for all of your support. If you don't yet support the show, there's a lot of great bonus content available to you. If you go to maximumfun.org join, I think that you are going to be very delighted with the things that you find there. We've got videos, we've got audio, we've got so much stuff, and I think you're just gonna love it.

[Travis McElroy]

And maybe you're already a Max Fund member, which. Thank you so much. We appreciate your ongoing support. But maybe this is the year that you consider upping your membership to the next level. Maybe go from 5 to 10 or something like that to show a little bit more support. If you're able to. We would really appreciate it. And we also want to encourage you. Stay tuned to the McElroy family Instagram, because as we hit those bonus goals, as we're doing live streams and stuff like that, we're going to be announcing all of that there on our stories and such. And you won't want to miss it because we've got stuff planned for every day and we want you to be a part of it. We want you to be there because this isn't just about asking you for support. It's also a way for us to say thank you and give you some extra content as a little thank you for your support.

[Griffin McElroy]

We would never call it content, though. We would never call it extra joy. No, that's gross, too. Extra videos.

[Travis McElroy]

There we go.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sensory pleasure.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, so make sure you check that out.

[Griffin McElroy]

And do the eyebrow thing, too, that Justin did. The nasty eyebrow.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't have the control over it like Justin does. When I do it, I have to look like I'm staring. Blank face.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, hey, hey, listen, we lost the. We.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't have my weight.

[Griffin McElroy]

We lost the fucking iHeartMedia podcast awards for Best ad Read again last night. To fucking Conan, man.

[Travis McElroy]

He's already won it.

[Justin McElroy]

Jesus.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's already won it. It's not his turn, man.

[Justin McElroy]

How's it going?

[Griffin McElroy]

Conan doesn't need it.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Conan. I know you listened.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not fair.

[Travis McElroy]

We'll write our names in Sharpie. What are you gonna do with two of them?

[Griffin McElroy]

Just send it. You don't need it. We do. And we also need your support. The show would not exist without the people who have supported us. In the past in the Max fund drive. This is the time where if you enjoy our shows and you want to support our ability to continue making it and growing it and doing video stuff and all kinds of wild shit, then maximumfun.org join is the link for you. You can prepay for a whole year if you want to and help us hit our stretch goals and get a bunch of incredible. If you've never given there's like, like there's over a decade of bonus hundreds of hours of bonus content. It's obscene when you become a member. MaximumFun.org join thank you and thanks to Montaigne for the use of our theme song My life is better with you.

[Travis McElroy]

And thanks to the Penguin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks to Penguin for stopping by.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it was a pleasure. Thanks for having me.

[Travis McElroy]

I forgot to pull a Faster Than Fear so I'm doing it as quick as I can.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll just ask Penguin. Yeah, Penguin, what are you scared of?

[Travis McElroy]

And what.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm happy to. I. I love you want me to get vulnerable?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure. What are you scared of? What are you going to stop being scared of this year? Penguin.

[Justin McElroy]

Batman. Batman.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, for Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm Penguin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

This has been my brother. My brother. Me. Kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Penguin]

It's better, it's better with you my life it's better, it's better with you. Is it true? It's better, it's better with you my life it's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum Fun A worker owned network of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Artist owned shows supported directly by.