MBMBaM 786: Flatman

Summary

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My Brother, My Brother and Me Ep. 786: "Flatman"

October 27, 2025
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

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Overview

In this episode, the McElroy brothers—Justin, Travis, and Griffin—deliver their characteristic blend of comedic banter and occasionally sincere life advice, fielding listener questions that range from philosophical hypotheticals (“Will Batman get to heaven?”) to practical life conundrums (stealing herbs from children, yo-yo frustrations, crying in a drive-thru, and Grinch-related performance anxiety). The episode is rich in sibling ribbing, personal anecdotes, and unexpectedly poignant thoughts on creativity, hyperfixation, and kindness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Studio & Visual Bits (00:54–04:43)

• Video Podcasting Setup: The brothers riff about their new studio camera angles, with Justin looking like a field reporter and the others commenting on the plant-filled backgrounds and visible equipment.
• Travis’s Shirt Antics: Travis discusses wearing a shirt with his face on it (inside out), leading to meta-commentary on self-image in remote recording.
• Vibes and Technical Quality: Griffin jokes about "broadcasting in 8K" and the "high bitrate king," poking fun at the increasingly high-definition video feeds.

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Question 1: "Will Batman Get to Heaven?" (04:43–14:47)

Theological Breakdown & Bat-morality

• Starter Question: Travis launches with the question—"Will Batman get to heaven?"—causing confusion for being so philosophical so early.
  • Justin: “A boiled down, like, hey, do you want to get to the heart of morality in one simple question, in a few words—would Batman get into heaven?” (05:19)
• Batman’s Virtues/Vices: The brothers debate comic-book morality, with references to Batman's refusal to kill, his run-ins with lust (Catwoman/Poison Ivy), and contrasts to the Punisher.
• Religious Upbringing: Travis comments, “Only Christ knows the contents of Batman’s heart… I can’t sit here and tell you authoritatively if Batman will get into heaven because that is such a deep and personal connection between him and Jesus Christ.” (08:35)
• Heaven or Hell for Batman?:
  • Justin: “I don’t think Batman would go to heaven because he would request to go to hell to beat more ass.” (09:39)
  • Travis and Griffin riff on the concept of a Batman who returns from Hell even more fearsome.
• Comic Book In-jokes: Allusions to Batman lore, Lazarus Pits, and Alan Moore comics pepper the discussion.
• Resolution: Ultimately, the brothers half-ironically suggest that tithing is the true key—"That's why [Joker] kept robbing banks to afford his tithes." (14:36)

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Question 2: Is Yo-Yoing Actually Hard, or Am I Just Bad at It? (14:47–26:23)

Yo-Yo Culture, Frustration, and Hyperfixation

• Listener Struggles: "Yo Knope in Charlotte" expresses yo-yo insecurity, wanting to impress their boyfriend but failing to pick up tricks from tutorials.
• The Yo-Yo Ball Rant: Griffin rails against the yo-yo ball (“a toy invented by Satan to challenge us…” (16:29)), claiming it’s just a plastic missile destined for children’s mouths.
• Weapon History: Travis offers the dubious historical fact that yo-yos began as weapons, with a callback to the NES game Startropics.
• Hyperfixations & Hobbies:
  • Travis: “...the kind of brain that has—is gonna make me hyper fixate on stuff…should not be humbled in my older age…” (20:37)
  • Justin: “All of my hobbies. Live fast, die young… I have the James Dean of hobbies.” (21:29)
• Practical Advice:
  • Use ‘sleeping’ tricks as a base for most yo-yo maneuvers.
  • The world would be better (and sillier) if the right to bear arms were replaced with the right to bear Yo-Yos.
• Synergistic Hyperfixation Gadget: Griffin proposes a yo-yo with a Gigapet inside, teetering between joke and serious interest.

Notable Quote

• Griffin (re: failing at yo-yoing):
  “...after you do it once or twice and you fail, you feel like the world’s biggest asshole. Piano I can sit down at…but you drop a ball, the yo yo don’t come back up…and you have to spend like 15 seconds winding it…I’m simply never going to get better at it.” (22:59)

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Yo-Yo Tricks Live! (33:35–36:05)

• Post-break, Travis retrieves a yo-yo and demonstrates tricks (sleeping, cradle, “runaway dog”), with Griffin providing visual play-by-play.
• Perennial joke: “Justin, you’re ready to start telling kids not to do drugs?”—an allusion to the classic yo-yo assembly motif.

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Question 3: Accidentally Giving a Husband’s Drawing as a Child’s Gift (36:11–40:17)

• Listener Mishap: A mother accidentally gifts her marathon-running friend a crayon drawing made by her husband (34) rather than her child (4).
• Parental Drawing Dilemmas:
  • Travis tries to "keep his light under a bushel" to avoid discouraging his kids.
  • Justin recounts feeling proud of his drawing of the Bluey family.
• Art Technique Advice:
  • Justin: “Draw it upside down. It removes the subconscious bias of what things look like.” (38:29)
• Deep Down: The brothers admit their own sub-par artistic abilities and the childishness of their art.

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Question 4: Stealing Cilantro from a School Herb Garden (40:56–45:02)

• Moral Complexity: Listener confesses to taking herbs from a “poorly-tended” elementary school garden.
• Philosophy of Property:
  • Travis: “Nobody owns the sun, nobody owns the dirt. If it’s growing in the land…it’s all of ours.” (42:03)
  • This is swiftly shot down by Griffin and Justin: “It’s absolutely deranged, what you said.” (42:13)
• Point of the Fence: The presence of a fence is the real marker; if you have to reach through it, you’re probably stealing.
• Who’s Tending the Garden?: Most school garden tending is done by adults; the theft is from them, not the kids.

Notable Quote

• Griffin: “When you see produce in the garden that is like a class project…it’s mostly an adult…I want to make something clear: you are not stealing from children, you are stealing from some adult.” (44:19)

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Question 5: Crying at the Fast Food Drive-Thru (45:21–50:57)

• The Emotional Transaction: Listener wonders if crying can/should earn one free nuggets from fast food workers, or which chain is most likely to be generous.
• Ethical Tensions:
  • Griffin: “It makes me so deeply uncomfortable when someone leverages some kind of personal difficulty…into free nuggies for crying in the car.” (46:13)
  • Travis: “You can’t institutionalize kindness like this. It has to be spontaneous.” (46:46)
• Softest Fast Food Brand?:
  • Justin: “My first gut is White Castle.” (49:24)
  • All: Jack in the Box and Arby’s are deemed most likely to hand out “extras,” while Taco Bell is “where you go for self-care when there’s nowhere else to turn.”
• Drive-Thru Anxiety: Personal tales of car-based order stress, speed-pressured ordering, and family members with “clean slate” menu amnesia.

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Question 6: How to Be a Better Grinch at Halloween (51:29–54:18)

• Performance Anxiety: Listener seeks tips on embodying the Grinch for an expensive Halloween costume.
• Childhood Grinch Trauma: The brothers recall a hyper-realistic Grinch at a party that scared everyone, child and adult alike.
• Advice: Remember, there are two sides to the Grinch—the grumpy and the reformed (heart-grown-three-sizes) versions. Embrace the positive afterglow.
• Post-Redemption Grinch:
  • Griffin imagines a sequel where the Grinch, after a day of Christmas joy, “just wants to sleep,” only to be driven mad by Whoville’s cacophonous festivities.

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Other Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Travis: “If you could decide what you hyper fixate on, we’d be rich, man.” (20:28)
• Griffin, on yo-yos as weapons: “The right to bear Yo-Yos.” (17:56)
• Justin, on giving up on paddle-ball: “If something doesn’t immediately bring me joy, I don’t have to care about it anymore. That’s what Marie Kondo says.” (24:29)
• Griffin, on art: “If you asked me to draw an apple, the result would be humiliating, and that's one of God's most basic fruits.” (38:13)

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Timestamps

• 00:54–04:43: Studio setup banter and visual gags
• 04:43–14:47: Batman in the afterlife
• 14:47–26:23: Yo-yo struggles, hyperfixation brain, and toy grievances
• 33:35–36:05: Yo-yo tricks live demonstration
• 36:11–40:17: Drawing mishap—accidentally gifting dad’s art as child’s
• 40:56–45:02: Herb theft from an elementary school garden
• 45:21–50:57: Crying in the drive-thru (pitiful enough for free food?)
• 51:29–54:18: Grinch costume, performance anxiety, and the two natures of the Grinch

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Tone & Style

• Casual, playful, and tangential: The McElroys meander between the questions at their own pace, with tangents about childhood, personal quirks, and fast food.
• Lots of meta-commentary: About how the show feels, how their video setup impacts their energy, and poking fun at their own aging and interests.
• Affectionate sibling ribbing: Everyone gets roasted, especially for hyperfixations and embarrassing hobbies.
• Self-deprecating: Frequent jokes about their abilities, attention spans, and the fleeting nature of their passions.

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Conclusion

“Flatman” is classic MBMBaM: what starts as a joke or quick advice question spirals into elaborate world-building, philosophical musing, or sibling confessions. The brothers blend insight with absurdity, laugh at themselves, and somehow—amid all the riffs—reassure listeners: if your life is weird or you mess up, you're not alone.

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Notable Final Quote:

"I want to be faster than my fear of the ghost woman in the movie Talk to Me who sucks on a guy's toes in his sleep." (58:26)

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Episode Highlight Reel

• Justin’s “field reporter” vibe and plant situation (02:22)
• Theological analysis of Batman’s soul (08:35)
• The yo-yo ball: “a toy invented by Satan to challenge us…” (16:29)
• Accidentally gifting dad’s crayon artwork (36:11)
• Griffin’s upside down apple-drawing breakthrough (38:29)
• “Nobody owns the sun, nobody owns the dirt…” (42:03)
• Fast food chains ranked by soft-heartedness (49:24)
• Grinch roleplay anxiety and how not to traumatize children (52:03)

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Transcript

[Justin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and.

[Griffin McElroy]

Their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

[Justin McElroy]

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up?

[Justin McElroy]

You cool baby?

[Montaigne]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life it feels like life is Ah, it's better it's better with you My life is. It's better, it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with two.

[Travis McElroy]

Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

What's up Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis. Travis, big dog, Wolf. Wolf McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's doing remixes of some of this, of some of your favorite classics. This is your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. And Justin is joining us from fucking G4TV. Fucking tech TV show.

[Travis McElroy]

It's G4 Mid Aughts. I got my Funko Pops in here. Yeah, bro. We got a big office, folksy cross.

[Griffin McElroy]

Stitches, huge office remodel. And folks not watching this because it may or may not be so watchable.

[Travis McElroy]

The fact that I'm wearing a picture.

[Griffin McElroy]

My face. Yeah, but it's also my face and Travis's face.

[Travis McElroy]

I hate that my face is on this, but I can see it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin's. We're zoomed out on juice. Establishing shot. Interior, daytime.

[Justin McElroy]

No, don't change your shirt.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin gets embarrassed and has to change his shirt. We're zoomed out, so the crop includes a little bit of desk. We've got some keyboard action on there. I think we're seeing the top of his monitor. This is the news station. It's like Justin's our man in the chair. And Travis, I noticed that maybe to match, you've also zoomed out your own camera so that your keyboard's in it. And did you just turn it backwards? The shirt?

[Justin McElroy]

It's backwards.

[Travis McElroy]

It was very distracting because it's me and I try to think about if I'm gonna be looking at a camera when I get dressed in the morning to see if I have pictures of myself or things that I made up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you're also.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't like to do that.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think maybe it's just the way your shit's set up now. Juice is you're barreling a lot. You're giving me lots of Jim Halpert.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I say what?

[Griffin McElroy]

Right to the fucking dome, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

If I can bring you guys inside the bit. Okay, so I'm still figuring out some of the quirks of the studio. Okay, you guys are down here. So do you see this blue thing?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

That's you guys. Okay. And then the hoops troops, they're up there. Okay, what.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm getting this right now.

[Travis McElroy]

What's helping me? What's helping me to remember to not focus on. Because I've been so focused on you guys. Yeah, but that's not.

[Griffin McElroy]

We don't pay you.

[Travis McElroy]

You don't pay me. No, they pay me.

[Justin McElroy]

And what I'm getting right now is very much Justin, like, news anchor. And with my things zoomed out, you can see so many plants that I feel like I'm in the field. Like, I'm reporting in the field. And so, Griffin, I'm picturing you in a helicopter.

[Griffin McElroy]

See, for me, I was thinking I'm like the guy at the board. And they switch to them like every, like, just show them, like, doing that to, like, someone in the corner.

[Justin McElroy]

As, like when Regis and Kathie Lee used to, like, cut to their, like, direction.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. They would say something like, and you know who loves stinky pizza is Teddy. And then they cut to Teddy in the studio and he's not even, like, paying attention. He's like, over there.

[Travis McElroy]

Hit the tape.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's all.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's me right now, you guys in fucking 8K. Fucking attack of the TV. TV ass news desk. And I look like a chicken.

[Travis McElroy]

I love how Griffin keeps holding out high definition feeds as something to be embarrassed of.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's. You're so crisp, dude. I can see your vascularity. It's crazy, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't talk about my plants, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Your plants look good too, dude. But you're giving me like three, three and a half K tops. Just. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I turned down the K so that it wouldn't be overwhelming for Trav Nation.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm getting blasted by the K's right now.

[Justin McElroy]

I can't give Trav Nation too much. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

The loyalty is already spiking.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dirty dogs.

[Justin McElroy]

They are.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And I love it. I love my dirty dogs.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you do say that privately a lot. Will Batman get to heaven?

[Justin McElroy]

That's from Matt.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks, Travis, for putting that question.

[Travis McElroy]

This is A big swing at the beginning. Yeah. And it's not an advice question. It's not the kind of thing we normally.

[Griffin McElroy]

No. I'm so confused by why you chose to lead off with it.

[Justin McElroy]

I think sometimes it's nice to have a good thought starter.

[Griffin McElroy]

Matt.

[Travis McElroy]

Matt, I will say what. What Travis just said is true, is that sometimes it is nice to have a good thought starter. That is true.

[Griffin McElroy]

And now, like, that one, this is.

[Justin McElroy]

A boiled down, like, hey, do you want to get to the heart of morality in one simple question, in a few words, would Batman get into heaven?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

This is going to say a lot, I think, individually, about our views on morality.

[Travis McElroy]

So this is actually one of the things the perks the studio does have that I think is really exciting is it's got this holy board that I've hooked up to our YouTube. Right. So, like, I can see what Travis is doing. I can see the effect it's having our subscribers. And let me just take a quick look. No, it's not moving the needle at all. Trav, we are stuck. 398. I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry. No new subscribers from this bit. I'm sorry. They want us to need to hit.

[Justin McElroy]

A million so that my children will respect me even more because I have the silver play button up on my wall. But that's 100,000 subscribers, and I don't think that's reflective.

[Griffin McElroy]

If we don't get to 500,000 subscribers today, they're gonna put me back in the big button box. And you guys know I hate the big button box. They make me guess the button that lets me out, but most of the buttons just burn me and dump worms.

[Travis McElroy]

Around me, churning out the pixels that people crave.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And I'm wearing a Batman shirt, which is complete. A complete happenstance for this question.

[Travis McElroy]

So that is still a pressing concern. We are still going to address Batman.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, so we know from the movie where the boy gets zapped while he's on the Ferris wheel and dies for 10 minutes that heaven is for real. Batman is debatable. I'm guessing we don't want to get into semantics. Like, is Clooney getting into heaven?

[Justin McElroy]

No, I think conceptual Batman.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Batman of the mind Batman, Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's never murdered, but that's just one of the sins. So, like, you don't get up there and St. Pete's like, let me check. No murders. That's cool. Go on it.

[Justin McElroy]

Punisher's not getting into heaven.

[Griffin McElroy]

Punisher, Punisher.

[Travis McElroy]

Why can't Punisher get into heaven.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Punisher's done a lot of murders, but he's.

[Travis McElroy]

Punisher is. Hey, hey, Trav. I'll just say Punisher's a vet.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's a vet. And I can't believe you'd say that.

[Travis McElroy]

Have a good Monday. He's never done.

[Justin McElroy]

Punisher is getting into heaven. Enjoy your Monday, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Punisher's never had one impure sexual thought even one time. Nor has anyone who wears Punisher merchandise in real life. Never one lustful idea.

[Justin McElroy]

Even I will say we've seen Batman. We've seen Batman succumb to the charms of Catwoman. Oh, yeah, Poison Ivy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I bet he watches pornography on his big computer in his Batcave. We all know there's certain scheduled times.

[Justin McElroy]

Where Alfred's not allowed to come down.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

So if he gets to Heaven and we're. I think we have to assume. Okay. The way we were raised. Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

The way we were raised back in my day.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. The way we were raised. What we understood is that the only way you got into heaven was through an abiding faith in Jesus Christ as your savior.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

They were way more chill than that for me.

[Montaigne]

They were.

[Griffin McElroy]

They were super chill. They did not.

[Justin McElroy]

They were real.

[Travis McElroy]

You got a different.

[Griffin McElroy]

They were like, just say you're saved, and I say I'm saved. And they're like, you're good. Go for it, man.

[Travis McElroy]

But you don't know the content. You could say it out loud. You can proclaim it from the body of the church. But only Christ knows the contents of Batman's heart. You know what I mean? So, like, I can't sit here and tell you authoritatively if Batman will get into heaven because that is such a deep and personal connection between him and Jesus Christ. And if he has faith in that crimson blood that was shed so many years ago on Calvary.

[Justin McElroy]

I will say, Justin, the new studio setup has really changed your views on fate.

[Travis McElroy]

Dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

I gotta say, it's changed a lot about the energy of this show. I can't stress enough. We never push people to our video content in the audio feeds. You simply must see the vibe Justin's serving right now. It's really, really crazy. It's a power play. It's a huge power play. It's a dominance play that I was.

[Travis McElroy]

You did not want us turning on our religious upbringing. If you'll let me finish.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, okay. Sorry.

[Travis McElroy]

What I'm saying is that Batman. I don't want to go to a heaven where someone who has worked so Hard for the people of Gotham. Is not going to be admitted for why? Because he was Episcopalian or Methodist. Whoever. The wrong team. Come on.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, I think it would more because he punched all those people.

[Griffin McElroy]

Punching's fine.

[Travis McElroy]

Got Jesus flipped over the tables.

[Justin McElroy]

Excellent point.

[Griffin McElroy]

There was that one day where Jesus beat ass. And people really, really, I don't know, they like to bring that one up a lot. I feel like you hear less about the parables and more about the time he went absolutely apeshit on the moneylenders.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That rule, though.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, yeah, but it's like he also healed people from death. But everyone just wants to talk about the time he went fucking John Wick ass. Nobody ass on those. On those candy ass money, ladies.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I wonder sometimes about the water into wine. Cause that was like his crappy Mountain Goats cassette, first try demo tape. And everybody's still talking about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, I was crazy.

[Travis McElroy]

I can't even talk about wine and water without somebody being like, let me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get a hand in the bottle can.

[Justin McElroy]

You threw other liquids into other liquids or. Do you think he was limited to that comedy?

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it was probably just that. But I mean, we can talk all day about how cool Jesus is.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't want to talk about Jesus.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm talking about.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think Batman would go to heaven because he would request to go to hell to beat more ass.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

I think that St. Pete would be like, yeah, Batman, come on in. And he'd be like, no, send me.

[Travis McElroy]

To hell because I'm gonna beat up demons. Okay, okay, wait. If I'm Batman and I get to choose. Yeah. Which I like That I would go to hell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why?

[Travis McElroy]

Because of the existence of Lazarus Pit. So Ra's al Ghul and his daughter Talia access to Lazarus Pit. That can bring people back from life.

[Justin McElroy]

From death.

[Travis McElroy]

Excuse me.

[Griffin McElroy]

To life.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, so Batman won't bring back.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I'm Batman, from life. Batman's one rule is he won't bring people back from life.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ye.

[Travis McElroy]

I learned my lesson. I tried to bring my mom back, and she's a zombie. It's so scary.

[Griffin McElroy]

She's trapped in this big metal suit of armor.

[Justin McElroy]

She's the big pity.

[Travis McElroy]

I fucked up.

[Justin McElroy]

I made my mom into a big pity with magic. She's my big pity. I'm sorry, Alfred. She's the big pity.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, what I was saying is, if I'm Batman, and I know there's a chance that Talia Algol or her father, Ra's Algol is going to summon me back to existence with the Lazarus Pit. I do not want to be pulled out of the bosom of Jesus.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to come back from hell. Yeah. Mad. Can you imagine a Batman who was already pretty scary?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then he was. He went to hell for a while.

[Justin McElroy]

We get kind of a Ghost Rider. Batman is what you're describing. That's probably.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's got to be like, you got.

[Travis McElroy]

To do that amalgam crossover.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's got to be like an Alan Moore strip where Batman does go to hell. So.

[Justin McElroy]

Alan Moore's comic strips were amazing. I used to read them in the newspaper every Sunday morning.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And then his crack right below Slylock Fox.

[Travis McElroy]

His run on mutts was epic.

[Justin McElroy]

So good. He took Beetle Bailey in such a weird direction.

[Travis McElroy]

Batman gonna get into heaven, though, Travis.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, he'll never die.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, that's interesting. See, that's what I was touching on the Lazarus Pit. It's like you're talking about a narrative version of a Batman that can't die, which is, I don't think, most helpful for determining an afterlife. Right.

[Justin McElroy]

If Batman were to die, I think he would go to heaven because I think God would want to have a.

[Griffin McElroy]

Man'S not gonna die. You guys don't know about this, but Batman can't kill people. And so all of his bad guys, they also know they can't kill Batman.

[Travis McElroy]

You saw me just take Travis by the scruff of his neck and bring him back to the premise of the question and say, what will happen? And then you immediately pile on and say, no, no, no, Batman can't die. Griffin, is Batman gonna go to heaven when he dies? Or hell?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm saying Batman doesn't kill people. Batman doesn't kill people. So they know not to kill him. It's haunted house rules.

[Justin McElroy]

That's true. Because in Batman beyond canonically, we get old man Batman.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

When Batman dies, it will be him trying to do one of his sick ass disappearances too fast. It'll be somebody turning around, right? And they're like, anyway, Batman, I was gonna. And then they turn around like, where'd he go? And then they're going to hear, fuck, yeah, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

He zip lined up.

[Travis McElroy]

That's how they'll get him.

[Griffin McElroy]

He zip line up to the gargoyle, but he doesn't stop it. Gargoyle fall right on him. Squish a Batman pizza. Yep.

[Justin McElroy]

Now he's had an Arkham flat.

[Travis McElroy]

I did that. Arkham City. Constantly. It happens all the time.

[Griffin McElroy]

All the time.

[Travis McElroy]

It Is a hazard of the job.

[Griffin McElroy]

He gets a Batman. He's nervous. He approaches St. Pete. St. Pete's like, don't worry. Punching's okay. And you never had a single lustful thought.

[Justin McElroy]

Also, the Joker's here.

[Griffin McElroy]

The Joker is here.

[Justin McElroy]

The Joker also got in.

[Griffin McElroy]

He did a lot of bad stuff actions, but his heart and his brain was very good. And we love that here.

[Justin McElroy]

And he kept the tithe, man. I don't know what to tell you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Joker was. He was a dilly. He did 15%. Batman. He went above and beyond.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, he's in, man. He got saved, like, six times.

[Travis McElroy]

All we cared about was tithing the whole time. That was the whole bit. All you had to do.

[Justin McElroy]

That's why he kept robbing banks to afford his tithes.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's it.

[Travis McElroy]

You don't have to take care of anybody. Just tithe 10%. I'll take care of the rest.

[Griffin McElroy]

Batman's got to go to heaven. Next question, please.

[Travis McElroy]

Is learning the yo yo really that hard, or is it just me? I'm not one trying to. Okay, sorry. There's a lot of words in this one. I'm going to take another pass.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Is learning to yo yo really hard, or is it just me? I'm not one to keep trying at something that I'm not good at immediately, but I really want a yo yo. Do y' all remember ever being relatively proficient in throwing yo yo? I watched so many tutorial videos, and I'm still banging my head against the wall here. Please. I want to have yo yo fun and also impress my bf. Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you going to say who that's from?

[Travis McElroy]

Yep. Yo. Nope. In Charlotte. That's from Yo Knope in Charlotte.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, Justin, you had a proficient yo yo face. Is that correct?

[Travis McElroy]

I like all my fixations. I got just good enough to annoy people that actually know what they're doing. That's what I would say. That's what I would. I got just enough to act like I know too much in conversation.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep.

[Travis McElroy]

I could do, like, 10 tricks. I will say honestly, this person is probably the yo Yo. There are some yo yos that have a tight, fixed arm that just want to come right back.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tell me about it. No, I'm agreeing. This is not exasperation. This is me expressing frustration with a tight, fixed axle.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's not. It's not frustration that's better for looping tricks. But if you want to. If you want to sleeping tricks, you need a loose axle that's going to spin.

[Griffin McElroy]

You need a butterfly To DNA butterfly.

[Travis McElroy]

If you want to do like a looping trick, like you want to catch it on the.

[Griffin McElroy]

We love those. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You could mod it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mod it, mod it. Extra bearings. Add some LEDs, fatter bearings.

[Travis McElroy]

LEDs started with a Yo Yo Cool Fame tricks.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the Yoyo ball.

[Travis McElroy]

That comes back to you all the time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now that's interesting because that's one of the worst ideas that you've done today. And it's because did you know that a Yo yo ball is a toy invented by Satan to challenge us and it makes kids see it and they say, I want that. And you say, cool. Yeah. Yo yo ball. That's a staple in my youth. Let's grab it. But what you forget is that it's a heavy plastic ball that you throw. And then it actually. And they don't put this in the commercials. Is designed to come right back at your teeth as fast and as hard as it possibly can. It's a plastic ball you throw that then comes right for your mouth to punch.

[Justin McElroy]

A self inflicted mace.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a mace. It's a morning star that you use on yourself. And it doesn't even look a little like Yo Yoing.

[Travis McElroy]

Originally, Yo Yo Griffin was a weapon. Yo yo was designed to be at the top of a tree and you would hide in the tree and then you would drop the tool and you would hit the person and that's how.

[Griffin McElroy]

You bring it back.

[Justin McElroy]

Just like in star tropics.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just like, Just like in Startropics. Exactly.

[Justin McElroy]

But I don't think it was a Yo Yo. Now.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think they invented the yo yo and the person who invented the weapon yo yo was like, hey guys, check this shit out.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow, wow, wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pow. In their own face to hurt themselves.

[Justin McElroy]

Probably the first time though.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think the first person to invent a Yo yo pulled off walk the dog the first time.

[Griffin McElroy]

It would be so cool if we never got weapons better than Yo Yoshi. And so then all war was just sort of just doing.

[Justin McElroy]

And the second amendment was like right to bear Yo Yos.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I think that would be better.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, Griffin. I actually do think that would be better. Is it just our country? Because I do think we will be beat up a lot. Or is it worldwide?

[Justin McElroy]

We need all the countries to agree on it, I guess.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, let's say this. If it's just our country, we're going to need some very good Yo Yos.

[Justin McElroy]

Or very big Yo Yoshi.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Can't have any tight axles here because we're going.

[Justin McElroy]

That would be the arms race. It's like, just keep making yo yos bigger and bigger.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Until eventually they're like, you can't have that. Yo yo is the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. You can't use that. It's a war crime to use that yo yo.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can have, like, Duncan have its own paramilitary force that they. That they use. Mercenaries trained in the art of forbidden yo yos with two strings.

[Justin McElroy]

Yo Jos.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yo Joe.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm kind of struggling a bit. Can I talk to you guys for a second?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's go over here.

[Travis McElroy]

I spent that time. I spent that time learning yo yo tricks, and I have not done a yo yo trick. I've not touched you in years.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know you have.

[Travis McElroy]

Sitting here thinking, like, a younger me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Different me.

[Justin McElroy]

A yo younger.

[Travis McElroy]

You would have gone to get the yo yo and say, like, for the. For the podcast for the Vine. I'll do it like. And I'm not. I'm clearly not. I'm not standing. I'm not going to get it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I was not doing that.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm staying here now.

[Justin McElroy]

You did Santa turn your shirt around so, like, we know that that is.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you afraid we'll see your back and see the design with your face on it and know that your shirt is backwards or is it an inside.

[Travis McElroy]

So it's inside out?

[Griffin McElroy]

Inside out.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

So that our faces are against your bozo.

[Travis McElroy]

So sorry, Trav. The cut would be.

[Griffin McElroy]

The cut would not.

[Travis McElroy]

You're right.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know what I was thinking. Hey, Justin, go get your fucking yo Yo.

[Justin McElroy]

Go get your shine box. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Let me go see.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't even know if I have one.

[Travis McElroy]

Sheesh.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. This is the second time he's left.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, he has to get his yo yo because I want to see. I'll be honest, Travis. We just got back from what felt like our fourth tour in a month and a half. I'm feeling a little bit worn out, a little exhausted for this early morning.

[Justin McElroy]

And you think this yo yo is gonna really pump?

[Griffin McElroy]

I think. I think a yo yo trick would boost in fucking 24k. Like he's serving right now.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

My fucking high bit rate. My high bitrate king. I can't wait to see this Yo.

[Justin McElroy]

Yo 24 Carat Massacre.

[Griffin McElroy]

Seeing fucking 240 FPS. Oh, he couldn't find.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't even have one. I don't even have anymore.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's bullshit, dude. How do you.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not Going to. I probably have some upstairs. I'm not going to go upstairs and waste a bunch of pockets.

[Justin McElroy]

Will you post it later? Like on TikTok or something?

[Travis McElroy]

No, the point is, like, I don't. What I was struggling with is, like, why did I hyper fixate on? You know what I mean? Like, that's what I was angry about.

[Justin McElroy]

Because you can't control what you hyper. If you could figure out how to decide what you hyper fixate on, we'd be on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis would be the wealthiest man in the. In the world.

[Travis McElroy]

I know, but if I'm gonna have the kind of brain that has. Is gonna make me hyper fixate on stuff, it should. It should not be humbled in my older age to make it so that I don't seek out opportunities to yo yo. You know what I mean? Like, I should. I should continue to want to display this.

[Justin McElroy]

Ah. What you're describing is a hobby.

[Travis McElroy]

No, but there's not so much guilt that I would hide all my yo yos and never wanna look at them again. Right, Trev? Is that a hobby? That doesn't sound like a hobby to me.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I'm saying that if what you had was a hyper fixation, which burns fast, burns bright.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right?

[Justin McElroy]

You're talking about a lifelong interest in a thing that you demonstrate and practice.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, I'm looking for ashes. I'm looking for ashes where there is nothing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right?

[Travis McElroy]

Trash it just like, it was like a comet. I'm like, yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Burn fast.

[Travis McElroy]

Trying to reason with hurricane season. It's just.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not all of my loves, all of my hobbies. Live fast, die young. You know what I mean? That's me. I have the James Dean of hobbies. Sure.

[Travis McElroy]

I gotta say though, Travis, you really delivered on leather work. You talked a lot about leather.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Travis McElroy]

When that one paid off, that one hit big and was very impressive.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm so glad that I'll never do it again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. So sad to know it's a 2025 thing, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

I know. I wish I still have so much leather to use. I spent so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's got a big box of grommets that he's gonna throw in the dumpster.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

The key time to make friends with one of us is right at the end of one of those because God almighty, am I looking to unload. Dude, anybody who makes a passing interest, like, hey, you know, I've always kind of wanted to pick up the yo yo. Here's five. Here's five, Yo Yoshi. It takes seven yo yos. I never want to see a yo yo again. I'm so embarrassed.

[Justin McElroy]

One of them. Embarrassed that I learned to spend these things. And crafted from an artisan who specializes in making yo yos. And I spent $5,000 on it. It's yours. Please, I think.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know if Travis that yo yo you gave me cost $5,000. Are you serious?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. That was making Harold Duncan Sr. That was a Harold.

[Travis McElroy]

That was an hds.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, it was made out of graphics cards, so that's why it was pretty uncomfortable.

[Travis McElroy]

That explains. Every time I did a walk the dog, a bitcoin fell off. Yeah, exactly.

[Justin McElroy]

That's why it was worth so much money.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know if yo yo is extra hard. I don't know if yo yo is, like, more than other things beyond your ability, But I do think yo yo belongs to a special class of skill or activity that is difficult to practice. Because after you do it once or twice and you fail, you feel like the world's biggest asshole. Piano. I can sit down at and I can play my scales until they get good. And I don't feel like an asshole the moment I mess up. But you drop a ball, the yo yo don't come back up. And you have to spend like 15 seconds winding it. I'm not gonna do that more than two or three times. And so I'm simply never going to get better at it.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, I've been trying to learn how to juggle for. I mean, it's been 11 years. I've had juggling balls, like, handy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And I can do like five passes, and I'm done.

[Griffin McElroy]

Five is crazy, dude. I get. I get three, and I'm like, I'm juggling, baby. I'm juggling.

[Justin McElroy]

I get one, and my brain gets so excited that my hands. That's absolutely just every.

[Travis McElroy]

Travis. Every single fucking time, dude. Here's the thought. I'm juggling, mama. Look at me. The downfall. Two passes. I'm juggling. I'm dead.

[Justin McElroy]

But this is when having hyper fixation brain is a great skill because, like, the other day my kids got like, a paddle ball game. I picked it up once. I was immediately bad at it, and I said, oh, this brings me no joy. And I had no desire to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, really?

[Justin McElroy]

Learning it whatsoever.

[Griffin McElroy]

I thought that was going to go.

[Travis McElroy]

I would have played with my kids, I think in that case, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Then I. Then I just watch my kids do it, and I'm like, have fun, guys. But if something doesn't immediately bring me joy. I don't have to care about it anymore.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's what Marie Kondo says. She said, give them one shot.

[Travis McElroy]

One shot.

[Griffin McElroy]

She says everyone gets one shot. And if not, you're gone forever.

[Travis McElroy]

I will say also the one gag with Yo Yos. If you can do the one thing where you throw it at the ground and it stays down there for a bit, you can do a whole fucking lot of stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the basis of most tricks.

[Travis McElroy]

All you got to do is fuck around with the string and not do it so hard that the guy comes back up. And then you can like twist it. You do walk the dogs. The same idea. It's all the same junk. It's just spinning.

[Justin McElroy]

Also get like a, like a toothpick to chew on and that cool leather jacket. And now you're just doing it on the street corner. And I know you're waiting for. For something to go down.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is there an opportunity here for us to make a kind of like perfect synergistic hyper fixation, kind of like all day carry all day. What's that called? Everyday carry. Everyday carry situation where it is a Yo yo. But it's also like on one side.

[Travis McElroy]

Of it is, boy, you are really. You are a tough target to bring down. Aren't you there, Jason Bourn. Can't remember the acronym for edc. Griffin. Highly muggable over here. If you needed a soft target.

[Justin McElroy]

Good fucking L. What do I have on daycare though? Yeah, there are things that I'm like, I can't put this down once.

[Griffin McElroy]

My glasses, I think is probably it. My guilt and my glasses. Yo yo on one side, virtual pet on the other side. It's got a lighter. Maybe it also does a lighter. And it's just like all of these cool little affectations, hobbies, fixations that you could do. You could fidget. Well, no, because I don't. You know, I guess it could be a spinner if you want it to be, but I'm thinking beefy or something.

[Justin McElroy]

Yoyos were the original spinner.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, no, I know, and that's why I'm saying we should get one. But I guess I'm just saying there should be a yo yo with a gigaped in it. So what else are we doing here today, guys?

[Travis McElroy]

Well, Griffin, I'm glad you asked. We're gonna take a quick trip to the Money Zone. It's better.

[Montaigne]

It's better with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

A Yo yo that has a gigapet in it that like you feed by doing Yo Yo Tricks is so fucking insanely valuable of an idea.

[Justin McElroy]

No, it's great.

[Travis McElroy]

It's great, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but I know. I'm just saying I feel bad that someone's gonna.

[Travis McElroy]

But it's not funny, you know, like, great ideas aren't always funny.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's. That's true. That's true.

[Justin McElroy]

That's why we save those for the money zone.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're right.

[Justin McElroy]

You know, guys called the funny zone.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, we can be. We can really let our hair down and be pretty serious here.

[Travis McElroy]

It can get pretty tough to keep track of your money. Dollars and cents. It's going in, it's going out. Where's it going? Yep. Well, you need a friend. You need. Hi, I'm Justin McElroy, paid endorser for Rocket Money. You need a friend in your corner. Somebody's gonna be watching your transactions. Someone who's gonna say, hey, did you forget about this subscription? I can cancel it for you, or at least try.

[Justin McElroy]

And Justin is willing to be that for you. Justin's gonna do that for each one of our listeners. Justin's gonna fix your business.

[Travis McElroy]

No. I am sadly announcing the closure of Justin's. IFixit.

[Griffin McElroy]

IFixit money.

[Travis McElroy]

All in one Financial Accounting Services. I'm sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

And iPhone screen repair.

[Travis McElroy]

And iPhone screen repair. Yes, Travis. My iPhone screen repair. And Money Financial guy. Business is down the tubes because Rocket Money is putting me out of business.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, man.

[Travis McElroy]

These guys are using computers to keep.

[Justin McElroy]

Track of this stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

What were you using?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, My yellow ledger. Keep track of your finances in. Dude is utterly humiliated by Rocket Money's ability to find subscriptions you forgot about and try to cancel them for you to help you to balance your finances, to keep track of where your money's going. All that good stuff, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

One time, Justin's yellowed ledger fell off his desk and it fell open and it was completely. And I was like, what the fuck.

[Justin McElroy]

Is he doing in there?

[Travis McElroy]

It's terrifying, dude. Rocket Money has saved users over 2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, this is weird, Griffin. I'm looking at Justin's yellow legend right now, and I have the moonlight reflected in the Osiris stone. Yeah, and it's a bunch of names and. And the worth of their souls next to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, it was the Osiris stone that we were missing. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com. my brother, today I'm reading the Ledger. Now that's rocketmoney.com mybrother rocketmoney.com mybrother.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin. Your name's in here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. And my. Don't tell everybody my soul value, because it's embarrassing.

[Justin McElroy]

63 cents.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Man, I wish I hadn't worked so hard in that last ad, because this next ad is for Smalls, and I'm gonna work.

[Griffin McElroy]

And you're like, the biggest Smalls head.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm like Mr. Smalls. But the fact is, I want to talk about Smalls because my cats love it. So I had. I have a much better.

[Justin McElroy]

Would you say Smalls is killing you?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think they would want that, man.

[Travis McElroy]

That's kind of a negative connotation.

[Justin McElroy]

You're killing me, Smalls. You know? You guys remember that? No?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah, totally. But I don't think they. They probably don't like it. Like, if you call your company Smalls, you probably learn to not like when people.

[Justin McElroy]

You're saving me, Smalls.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

You're protecting me, Smalls. You're putting your body between me and danger, Smalls.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah. So the cats love this stuff. They got smooth bird, smooth other bird, smooth pig. No matter which animal you want smoothed up, Smalls is gonna do it for you. They're gonna put it in, ship it.

[Justin McElroy]

To you, smoothing it out.

[Travis McElroy]

It arrives frozen. You get the amount of food you need, right? You defrost what you need so it's fresh when your cats want it and it's ready and they really, really like it. They will bother me in the morning until they get to enjoy it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Smooth criminals, they will do that. They'll serve you criminals, you know, but all smoothed up.

[Travis McElroy]

You know how hard it is to do two ads back to back?

[Griffin McElroy]

I know, man. And Travis and I are trying to help. Travis and I are trying to help, and I know, but it's just not.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not helping. It's not.

[Justin McElroy]

What if you do a call to action move?

[Griffin McElroy]

What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food that they deserve.

[Justin McElroy]

Song Smooth by Rob Thomas Santana, you're.

[Travis McElroy]

Not doing a good enough job because you're just reading it like a cat food ad. This is important. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve for a limited time. Because you're a Bim Bam lister. You get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping when you head to smalls.commybrother one last time. That's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.commyBrother.

[Justin McElroy]

Cause you're so smooth and they sell you smooth bird to feed you your cat. Oh, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow. I'm watching the subscriber count. The list. Damn the subscriber count going down. This isn't even live. No one's hearing this as we record it. How is the subscriber count plummeting?

[Justin McElroy]

Damn it. Hi, I'm Travis McIlroy. I'm here with Maria and we're excited because as a member of the month. Maria, thank you so much for being a listener and a supporter of the show.

[Montaigne]

Hi.

[Justin McElroy]

How did you find out about the shows?

[Maria]

When my daughter was in high school, we kind of connected over Taz. She introduced me to schmanners and sawbones.

[Justin McElroy]

What made you decide to become a Max Fund member?

[Maria]

I kind of decided that with the economy being so difficult, it was worth me giving up my Starbucks to join in with you guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, Maria, I owe you a cup of coffee. Then at some point I'll get a cup of coffee into your hands to pay you back.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ok?

[Justin McElroy]

Maria, again, thank you so much for your support.

[Maria]

Thank you very, very much for your time and getting a chance to be the member of the month. My daughter was shocked when she found out about it, so I can't wait for her to actually maybe catch a little bit of this. I can rub it in her face a little bit.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what we do it for. Thank you and thanks to everybody for your support. Maria, have a great month.

[Maria]

You have an amazing month as well.

[Griffin McElroy]

Become a Max Fun member [e-mail] join.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you like books about various shades of gray? Maybe 50 of them. Or books about winged men searching for soulmates? Is your E reader full of stories that would pair well with Barry White in the background? We're Bria and Mallory of reading Glasses and we have a brand new show for people who crave reads with just a dash of sriracha sauce. That's right. Every other Friday we dive into books that could be measured on the Scoville scale and talk to the people who love them. You can find our new show by visiting maximumfun.org spicy. That's maximum.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, Justin, I see there that you have a yo yo.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't want to talk about it, but yes, I did find one during the break.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis, you didn't want to talk about it, but you came in carrying it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, well, I guess you're right. Yeah, I found one. I had one upstairs Is that like.

[Griffin McElroy]

A tin Christmas yo yo? What kind of yoyo is that?

[Travis McElroy]

This is a magic yo yo.

[Griffin McElroy]

A magic yo yo. Hold on, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

In what way?

[Griffin McElroy]

I feel like. Feel like you're trying to trick me or something, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no. Are you about to, like, try to sell it to us for a lot of money?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, I would never. No, I would never.

[Griffin McElroy]

He couldn't part with his magic yo.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, no, no. Not my magic yoyo.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, at least let me make it.

[Travis McElroy]

Other yoyos maybe, but at least let.

[Justin McElroy]

Me make an offer.

[Travis McElroy]

I can't.

[Justin McElroy]

$5,000.

[Travis McElroy]

You're embarrassing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Looks like you had the loop maybe sized for one of your kids.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a sliding loop. Are you.

[Justin McElroy]

Why are you new to this? Justin? He doesn't understand.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't really know much about.

[Travis McElroy]

So look. So this is a loop, right? See, I made a loop for my finger.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh. So it can slide. You've made a snare.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, I'm gonna stand up. I haven't tried.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And we'll see what I can.

[Griffin McElroy]

I will describe it. Sorry, this has been a really visual episode, but that's. I mean. Justin's new desk is a celebration video.

[Justin McElroy]

Forward.

[Griffin McElroy]

Here we go. Okay. Can't see it. Higher. Wow. It's. Wow. He's sleeping. It's hanging, dangling.

[Travis McElroy]

He's got.

[Griffin McElroy]

He did the thing and it went.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, and it went back to his hand.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I haven't done this in years. Make it roll down, though. Make it grind down your headphones wire. That shit would be so dope. Oh, he's got it in the cradle. He's got the baby in the cradle. He gets it back up.

[Travis McElroy]

He's throwing.

[Griffin McElroy]

He yoink it back down. He'd throw it back up. Now go back down. Oh, shit.

[Justin McElroy]

He's the world's strongest man. It's his muscle and it's back to his hand and.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, good recovery. He beefed it, but then he pulled it back up. Nice.

[Travis McElroy]

That's part of the trick.

[Justin McElroy]

Justin, you're ready to start telling kids not to do drugs?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. It's the cradle again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, you just saw the cradle again.

[Travis McElroy]

Like it's that easy.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, it's just. You already showed us that one.

[Travis McElroy]

That's the only ones I know you can walk.

[Griffin McElroy]

The dog DNA it do DNA. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

The dog got away. The dog run away dog.

[Travis McElroy]

That's runaway dog.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is that Runaway dog is a cool juice. That looks awesome, man. You still got it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Imagine my relief, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

I used to be able to do.

[Travis McElroy]

A lot more tricks but honestly in the studio the way it is, gotta be careful.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Can't take the risk, you know.

[Justin McElroy]

Expensive equipment in there.

[Travis McElroy]

Sure, man. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

All right. So did you get out of your heartburn from that? Was it heartburn or out of breath.

[Griffin McElroy]

From yo, yo, which one is it? What are you doing?

[Justin McElroy]

Nostalgia, Nostalgia, nostalgia burns sometimes makes your tummy hurt.

[Travis McElroy]

My friend recently completed her first marathon after cheering her on as spectators. My four year old daughter was so excited about it. She told me she was going to draw a congratulations picture for my runner friend. She drew a stack of pictures while I was busy. I grabbed the most polished of the lot and gave it to my friend the next day. It was a picture of Saturn and it had some letters next to it and a pretty shockingly good stab at the word Saturn next to it. Brothers. My husband drew the picture and most of the letters. I just gave my friend a picture of Saturn my 34 year old husband drew in crayon. Help. That's from Doodle Tout in Tomoe.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's okay.

[Travis McElroy]

That's okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a sweet gift. Regardless of who it came from, it's still like sweet that someone did a drawing for someone else. I assume your friend is either named Saturn or maybe they have a like they like Saturn.

[Travis McElroy]

They're a fan of the planet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Planet is like one of their faves.

[Justin McElroy]

I think the problem here is that when you are judging a child's drawing, especially a 4 year old versus a 34 year old, there's different subjective criteria that one would use to be like this is amazing versus like oh, you did your best, right?

[Montaigne]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And if you reveal after they've been very impressed by this pretty good drawing of Saturn and then you're like actually that was my husband drew that it might take something away.

[Travis McElroy]

I usually, I will say that don't judge too harshly because I am usually trying to like keep my light under a bushel a little bit when I'm drawing with the kids. You know, I don't want them to get discouraged when they see me drawing Saturn and they're like, God, I'll never, I can never.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you ever find yourself drawing with the kids and you draw something at about three quarters of the way through you suddenly are struck by how proud you are of the thing you're drawing and you're like man, I hope I get a really good. I drew a kick ass like healer family.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. And I was like everybody stop what you're doing. Hey, look at this look how good this is. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would love to be able to draw and be able to draw something other than just like, a dog's face.

[Travis McElroy]

Like a good drawer.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like a good drawer. Not even a good drawer, like, can do a. Like, if you asked me to draw right now, an apple, the result would be humiliating. And that's, like, one of God's most basic fruits.

[Justin McElroy]

Draw it upside down.

[Griffin McElroy]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

So it's a technique used. Cause we, in our heads, have developed images of how things are supposed to look. And so.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry. As. Sorry. Yeah. You understand that as Travis is saying this, you need to get out a pen and paper and attempt it to.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have e ink. So all of that.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So we get these things. It's like, you know when you draw a house, right. Everybody starts to default to, like, triangle, roof, rectangle windows. Right. Instead of drawing what an actual house looks like. Because we have shorthand images in our head, and we are often trapped in those images, and it's difficult to make real things. So by drawing it upside down, you remove that subconscious bias of what things look like, and you start to actually think about the lines of the thing you're drawing, what the thing looks like.

[Griffin McElroy]

My God.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin is about to show us an apple that is going to absolutely knock us off our ass.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, we're gonna.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shit. Shit.

[Justin McElroy]

He's doing it. He's doing it. Look. Oh, my God, he's doing it. How do you like these apples?

[Travis McElroy]

At this point? It's gotten to a joke because I feel like maybe it's not gonna be a good.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, Justin. Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I work hard on it.

[Justin McElroy]

He's doing a good job.

[Travis McElroy]

You work hard on jokes sometimes.

[Griffin McElroy]

But the problem is that the screen, I think, changes based on how it's, like, tilted. So the apple's gonna look upside down no matter what.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a pretty good apple.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, it's really not bad, Griff. It looks better. It looks better.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's auto correcting. It's fucking.

[Travis McElroy]

Stop. It's kind of heinous.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, stop turning it. We can look at it upside down. We know. Not so close to the anus. No, get back from the anus, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the bottom of the apple. The bottom of the apple.

[Travis McElroy]

You're not supposed to do that. The bottom of the apple.

[Justin McElroy]

Stop turning it.

[Griffin McElroy]

The bottom of the apple is where the. I don't know what the fuck's going on down there, but he's got a little. Like, a little hole, Trav. That's really strong. That's really powerful. Thank you for that tip.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're all just like. I love this being a space of self improvement where we can. Yo, yo. And we can draw and we can have fun and, like, create.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, we've forgotten how to create, I think.

[Griffin McElroy]

I feel like maybe that's. Maybe that's true.

[Justin McElroy]

Now. Do you just mean the three of us?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not like America. He's not like. No, no, no.

[Travis McElroy]

Look on TikTok, man, people are making.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. It's been us.

[Griffin McElroy]

How about another question?

[Travis McElroy]

I love that. I needed cilantro for a recipe, so I walked to the grocery store to get some, but they were out. On my way back home, I passed the herb garden of a local elementary school. I make this walk all the time, and in retrospect, I've always noticed that these herbs appear poorly tended to.

[Griffin McElroy]

You just realized?

[Travis McElroy]

No, I just. And are often going to see it or otherwise seem uncared for. So I reached through the fence and yanked out a clump. Is it okay to steal from children if they don't seem to respect God's gifts? That's from the Brooklyn Bambino burglar. Did anybody else think that? When they were like. I noticed that these plants weren't very well tended. There was some small part of me that thought like, so I took them under my wing and I started growing them and helping them to find their. Yeah, you just grabbed a big handful, huh?

[Griffin McElroy]

Because you got. You got big pesto plans. Well, sorry, kids. Sorry, kids. I've got noodles and nothing else going for them, so I need these more than you do.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, kids. I mean, I think I'm maybe unorthodox about this. Here's my opinion. I think if it's growing in the land.

[Montaigne]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Nobody owns the sun, nobody owns the dirt. If it's growing in the land, it's all of ours.

[Griffin McElroy]

No. Well, no, not in.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe that's a little bit far to take it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, it's absolutely deranged, what you said. Because that means you can just go to farm and, like, get it. Get it.

[Justin McElroy]

They're not gonna notice.

[Griffin McElroy]

No one.

[Travis McElroy]

Talking about ethics. What I'm talking. You're talking about the law. I'm talking about ethics. There's no. There's no farm guards in the scenario I'm describing. You have an armed. If an Italian defending the cilantro.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

If there's nobody defending Mom.

[Justin McElroy]

If the need is there.

[Griffin McElroy]

If the need is there, obviously. Yeah. I mean, it should be. It should be. Yeah. No kids are gonna notice this unless it's someone's science experiment. That's a real danger you didn't even think about.

[Travis McElroy]

I think if you went to the cilantro farms and you were stopped by a guard and he said, halt, citizen.

[Justin McElroy]

Exploit your business.

[Travis McElroy]

And you're like, I just need some cilantro. I want some.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like a reasonable amount.

[Travis McElroy]

Like a handful. I feel like they would give you some. Like, that's not gonna move the needle for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. You've taken such an extreme position so quickly that I feel like your brain began showing you illusions, beautiful illusions of things that don't exist. Like cilantro guards.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't let me be a cautionary tale. People don't end up like me. You gotta have your head on a slope.

[Griffin McElroy]

It was really instant too, because you were like, one, I think it's okay to grab this cilantro. Two, there are armed guards at every cilantro farm.

[Justin McElroy]

It's become almost like a post apocalyptic thing where cilantro has become money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And like there's a Fort Knox of cilantro with. I don't think that's the case like a year in town. But instead of going to the bathroom, it's cilantro.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want to make something very clear to everybody who does not have elementary school age children. When you see produce in the garden that is like a class project. It ain't usually the kids who are getting those buds and those fruits to come up out of the ground out of nothing. That's mostly an adult. That is mostly an adult job. There's nuance to that process that a lot of kids aren't gonna be able to handle. So do know that you're not stealing from children. You are stealing from some adult. And maybe this moment in the garden is the highlight of their day.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I bet. It's also. It's interesting, you know, question asker. You talk about how. Let me see if you see they seem. In retrospect, I always noticed that these herbs appear poorly tended and are often going to seed or otherwise seem uncared for. You know what would probably discourage me as a plant tender? When people keep reaching through the fence and helping themselves to goddamn handfuls of my cilantro.

[Griffin McElroy]

The fences. The fence is a bit of a deal breaker.

[Justin McElroy]

Huh?

[Travis McElroy]

The fence is rough. I feel like you're not contributing. Sorry. I feel like you're not contributing to the overall health of the cilantro patch.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And maybe you are making it look not even worse than it already does.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Take a cilantro, leave a cilantro is what Justin's saying. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Or at least some seeds.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Why'd they put the cilantro so close to the fence?

[Griffin McElroy]

Fucking honeypot. John Quinones Watching, waiting.

[Justin McElroy]

They're not learning about gardening. They're learning about sting operations.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a plant.

[Travis McElroy]

I recently, I don't know if you guys knew this, I recently found myself having a cry sesh in the car and stopped in the Wendy's drive through for a pick me up. Yeah, it was obvious that I've been crying, but the lady at the drive thru window didn't treat me any differently than normal guys. If people at the windows. Sorry. If people at the Wendy's windows are going to start treating people different because they've been crying, that's going to be an exhausting day for them. They can't handle that emotional up and down. Okay. They're going to see a lot of people crying today. They can't, they can't open up a, a vein for everybody that, that rolls through. It's obvious I've been crying. The lady to drive through window didn't treat me any differently than normal. It was nice, but I kind of wish she had felt a little bad for me and given me some nuggets for my troubles. Is there any way I can make myself look more pitiable in the drive thru? And which fast food chain drive thru seems most charitable? Yeah, that's from mccharity Case in Columbus. Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's awesome.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a good one.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a good one. Because it is extremely relatable to. It makes me so deeply uncomfortable when someone leverages some kind of personal difficulty or hardship into some sort of goodwill currency that benefits them vis a vis free nuggies for crying in the car. My fear is that if you codify that too much then people are going to start making themselves cry so they can get free nuggets at Wendy's.

[Travis McElroy]

You can't institutionalize kindness like this. It has to be spontaneous.

[Griffin McElroy]

Has to be, has to be.

[Travis McElroy]

The problem is it's a, it's tough to communicate with the audio of the drive thru that you've had a hard time and that you're going to need some nuggets for it. Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Because I don't think you can eat maybe with your order. Maybe it's like I'll take a hamburger and. No wait, that was Steven's favorite. I like chicken. You know, to be like put a.

[Griffin McElroy]

Little narrative in there that's that's dense.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a lot to chew on.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a bit dense to drop because that's usually like the. One of the first things you say over the loudspeaker is like. Usually it's, hi, welcome to Wendy's. And you would say like, give me just a minute, please. And then you would say, let me get a hamburger. And then you say, give me a hamburger. No, that was Steven's favorite.

[Travis McElroy]

I like Steven.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

The idea that I would. Dude, are you serious? The idea that I, at the drive thru window would say, give me just a minute, please. Are you fucking crazy?

[Justin McElroy]

You don't have time. Never have other people in the car.

[Travis McElroy]

I have to be. Do you remember how dad used to get in the car?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Apparently that's just genetic and it sucks. But I've inherited it. I can't drive through ordering. I become the world's worst man.

[Griffin McElroy]

You just have to blast. You have to blast through it in one go. No time for deliberation.

[Travis McElroy]

I need everybody. I'm as. I am pulling up usually about two blocks away. That's when the conversation.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're on the bubble then.

[Travis McElroy]

And the orders are in before I see a sign. We are locked. Okay. Call me Mr. Bird's Eye. It's frozen. Yeah, okay. No, thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

Kids, I don't want to name names, but there is another adult in my family unit who is often in the car with me and my kids when we go through the drive through. I don't want to name names, but she, I think has what Dana Carvey had in Clean Slate about the Wendy's drive thru menu.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good. And Cheers.

[Travis McElroy]

Where she meets.

[Justin McElroy]

She needs to see it fresh every time.

[Griffin McElroy]

What if they have new shit?

[Travis McElroy]

No. Now, Travis, that's. You sound so stupid. Dude. The Wendy's menu is always changing. If she doesn't take the time to peruse, how's she gonna know about the mozzarella pretzel burger?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, gotta know the point, Justin. Gotta know the latest stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

What if Wednesday hasn't my milkshake? That's my time to chat with the drive thru person while she decides and tell him about all the hard stuff I'm going through.

[Travis McElroy]

Jeffrey, she should be looking this up on her phone before. Before you even go. She should be on her phone looking.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll let this hypothetical person know that. That's your advice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin, what's the softest fast food brand? Who's. Which fast food brand is going to. Is going to give you the most for your tears?

[Travis McElroy]

I.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the question.

[Justin McElroy]

My first guy said White Castle.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, they're too. They're too, like, bing, bang, boom. They have, like, two things on the menu. They want to get you in and out as quick as possible. They're not going to give you nothing.

[Justin McElroy]

An Arby. Arby's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Arby's.

[Travis McElroy]

Arby's would try to give you more and you'd be like, actually, this is.

[Justin McElroy]

As much as I need. But they have a history of slipping an extra curly and a regular fry or some regular fries in a box.

[Travis McElroy]

Of curly occasional Baggler. That's true.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. They're giving out freebies left and right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think Jack in the box. I think Jack in the box. Jack in the box. Fun food.

[Justin McElroy]

And they can give you a taco for 50 cents.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's exactly it. They've got. They've got fun shit just lying around. They'll pitch something at you if they think you're having a tough one.

[Travis McElroy]

I feel like Popeyes, especially red beans and rice to me. I feel like if you ask really nicely, that's free.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Like, if you. If you're like, I really need, I'm really super.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll tell you where you're not getting anything for a hard time. Taco Bell. Because no one's going through Taco Bell on the best day of their life.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're here.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we know.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man, we know. You made it.

[Travis McElroy]

You did have a big graduation today, huh? Weird.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm saying that at best, Taco Bell is a little reward or treat or cheer me up that you're getting for yourself.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Right. You're at Taco Bell. You are already. You have already done the self care for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right?

[Travis McElroy]

This is the end of the road on self care.

[Justin McElroy]

You already needed this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Nowhere else to go. You've taken care of it already. I'm trying sitting farther away from the mic just so I can be kind of like one of the boys. Like one of the guys.

[Travis McElroy]

How's it feeling?

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, I'm so far from my computer that I can't read the words on it anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I do feel like more. Travis, you can't zoom in now.

[Travis McElroy]

That's like. You gotta understand. How far can I go? This is audio podcast, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

How far can I go?

[Travis McElroy]

The Halloween. Listen, this Halloween, I've been to the Four.

[Justin McElroy]

Four times. Zoom. All right.

[Travis McElroy]

This Halloween, I've been toying with the idea of be the Grinch. Unfortunately, being the Grinch for Halloween seems like a full performance. Tiptoeing around being a nuisance and other Grinchly behavior. I'm already pre. I'm a pretty fun loving guy. So being a grump doesn't come naturally me. And I have no acting background. How can I better prepare myself in the coming days to be able to pull off a Grinch costume or I'm doomed. Just be a boring green bummer. That's from Nervous Nelly in Norwalk. P.S. i already spent $150 on the costume.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool. Okay. Glad that you included that. It does.

[Travis McElroy]

Several years ago, we had a very realistic Grinch.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Remember it came out and kidnapped Dwight.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And this very realistic Grinch, I will say, did a lot of realistic actions and a lot of realistic motions once they became the Grinch. And I will say that no one liked it. That had to be near it. No, no, kids.

[Griffin McElroy]

We didn't like it. Kids, but also grownups. No grownups.

[Travis McElroy]

Nobody liked it. Very impressive. But when they would get into the full. I've been raised from childhood to be afraid of this guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

Like, it doesn't feel good.

[Justin McElroy]

I will say this. What you're forgetting is there are two parts to the Grinch's journey.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, yes. There's the curmudgeonly grumpy Grinch.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Justin McElroy]

Then there's the heart. Three sizes Grinch.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, this is the Grinch after he gets saved.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. I'm saying Grinch reformed Grinch behavior.

[Travis McElroy]

I wish the movie went a little bit longer. Cause I would love for the grinch to after 20 minutes be like, well, yeah, this has been fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

That movie, if it went on for five.

[Justin McElroy]

If that movie went on, we're gonna start small.

[Travis McElroy]

A little change every day. This has been great. I've lived all alone for 50 years. I need to go or I'm gonna scream.

[Griffin McElroy]

If there's 20 more minutes on that movie, the movie ends with them having the roast beast and they're all having their big meal and having a great time. 20 more minutes. Runtime gets us. Grinch finishes his meal, goes, oh, I'm stuffed. I'm gonna get some rest, guys. I'm pretty worn out from all the Christmas celebrations. But he can't because of their Bing bang boomers and their zip zappers and their truebiting. Their bloobers. And it's like he's trying to sleep.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Oh. Oh, that's right.

[Griffin McElroy]

This fucking sucks. I still hate it. I fucking hate. I need rest. I'm so tired.

[Travis McElroy]

That's why.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's right.

[Justin McElroy]

I was up all night stealing your stuff and then bringing it back. I'm exhausted.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm fucking. You come downstairs at like three in the morning and the Grinch who you asked to stay with you as your guest is putting all of your presents into a bag. It's like you promised.

[Griffin McElroy]

You promised me.

[Travis McElroy]

You said you were done.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the loud ones, though. You can keep the slippers and the rope and stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, and the.

[Travis McElroy]

The Flinglax and the snooze bats and all that stuff. That's all good. Just throw away the alarm clocks.

[Justin McElroy]

Right? And the Wiz trumpets.

[Travis McElroy]

The Wiz trumpets. Put those in the Wiz garbage. Thank you. Hey, thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed it. We hope you've enjoyed yourself while you're listening to it. We hope you shouted some of your own jokes as we encourage you to. Do we?

[Griffin McElroy]

Do we? I mean, I guess when it's not a live show. Go ahead. But I don't want to train people into that particular.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, we have some new merch [e-mail] that we would love for you to go check out. I'm pretty sure you can still get that hunger beanie, which looks rad. Prep yourself for the cold winter months. Speaking of the cold winter months, we're coming back to Huntington for Candle Nights, baby.

[Justin McElroy]

That's right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Home for the Honda days. December 6th at 7pm Eastern time, we're gonna be performing at the Keith Albee in Huntington, West Virginia, doing our Candle Nights spectacular. We're also gonna be recording it for video and there's gonna be a digital premiere of the recording of the show on December 19th at 9pm Eastern Time. We're gonna be in the chat for that. And all the proceeds from Candle Nights, as always, will be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Bit ly Candlenights2025 is where you can go get your ticket for the show or for the live streaming version.

[Justin McElroy]

Important to note, your in person ticket also includes the stream ticket.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, absolutely. And yeah, it's gonna be a hoot. We're really excited.

[Justin McElroy]

It's been a minute also November 3rd, so I think that's next Monday. Yes. At noon Eastern time. Champions Grove for 2026. It goes on sale. Come hang out with us at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio for a weekend full of gaming and hanging out with people and fun events and get to meet some RPG TTRPG creators and dress up and have fun at a castle in the woods. You can go to championsgrove.com to get all the information. One more time. Tickets go on sale November 3rd at noon eastern time championsgrove.com okay.

[Travis McElroy]

This is also extremely important. If you go to. I'm in a pumpkin carving competition. It continues until Halloween. If you go to givebutter.com hcmvips that's Huntington Children's Museum. It's a fundraiser for them. I carved a pumpkin. I'm currently. And I don't want to worry anybody. I'm currently being beaten by Tony Stroud, who's the chief legal officer at Marshall University. He says that he in his bio says he has no artistic ability. So if I get beaten by him, I don't need to tell you how hard that will hurt. So please support the museum, but most importantly, help me beat Tony Stroud a stranger. I've decided to make an enemy of Tony Stark. Nope.

[Griffin McElroy]

Nope. Tony Stroud carved this pumpkin in a cave. Hey, do you guys has.

[Travis McElroy]

Tony Stroud falls asleep with nightmares about me in his mind.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm deep in there, huh?

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know Tony that well, so I don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know that you should say what you just said then, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, maybe I do need to take that back. Tony Stroud. I take that back.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm sorry. You're currently beating me, so you clearly have a lot of powerful friends and I don't want them to kill.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I think it's entirely possible Justin is having Tony Stroud based nightmares and he didn't want to. Like he's embarrassed.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm saying Tony Stroud has the juice in my town to have me killed if I get out of line. So I would love it if you would say go to HCM. Sorry. Givebutter.com yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, your internal temp got a little high there.

[Travis McElroy]

All right, good to know. Well, that's perfect timing. That's gonna do it for us for this week. Did you say thanks to Montaigne? No.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks to Montaigne for the use of our theme song My Life is better with you. It's a great track. Justin's camera got so hot that it stopped working, which is, I'll say, a flaw in the new system maybe.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, as long as you don't podcast.

[Justin McElroy]

For so fucking long, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

But you did it for an hour and one minute, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's outta S. Griffin. Here's a final fear for us to read. Here it goes. I want to be faster than my fear of the ghost woman in the movie. Talk to me. Who sucks on a guy's toes in his sleep? Sounds pretty. That sounds like Red Spirit.

[Justin McElroy]

My name's Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

This has been My brother. My brother. Meet Kiss yous Dad Square on the.

[Montaigne]

Lips it's about you My life.

[Griffin McElroy]

It'S.

[Montaigne]

Better it's better with you it's better My life, it's better it's better with you Is it true? It's better it's better with you My life, It's better with you.

[Travis McElroy]

Maximum Fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

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