MBMBaM 788: Blame It On the Full Beaver Supermoon

Summary

My Brother, My Brother and Me: Episode 788

"Blame It On the Full Beaver Supermoon"

Date: November 10, 2025
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

Episode Overview

In this lively and quintessentially chaotic episode, the McElroy brothers blame every unsettling energy, confusion, and minor life mishap on a cosmic event they dub the "Full Beaver Supermoon." As ever, they answer (and expertly derail) a selection of listener questions, riff on societal changes (like the elimination of the penny), debate fist-bump etiquette, discuss snack appropriateness in public, and are visited by their recurring vampiric alter ego, Count Donut. Throughout, the show is peppered with witty tangents, signature bits, and the warm, silly camaraderie that fans expect.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of the Full Beaver Supermoon

• [01:35-03:37]

  • The strange vibes at the start of the episode are immediately ascribed by Travis to the Full Beaver Supermoon.
    • Travis: "Blame it on the Full Beaver Superman."
    • Explains that the "beaver moon" is named for when beavers build shelters in November. The “supermoon” is when it’s closest to earth.
    • Travis: "It's a synergistic coming together to make me sleep bad and be 10 minutes late."
  • The brothers have fun imagining a world where time changes are governed by moon phases rather than history or farming.

• Memorable moment:

  • Griffin: "If it was moon based, fuck yeah, okay, whatever. I'll change the clock based on the moon. I don't want to change it based on an idea Benjamin Franklin had once." ([04:20])

---

2. The End of the Penny (and the Future of Currency)

• [05:39-09:38]

  • Justin brings up a sign at a local store announcing the end of pennies after 2026.
    • Justin: "Did you guys know that they were going to stop doing pennies in 2026?" ([05:45])
  • Dismay and confusion follow with jokes about pricing, "Derek-saving time," and how this will change how we pay for goods forever.
  • Griffin proposes, with mock outrage: "You can't charge me 5.49 for something. It needs to be easily divisible by 5 or else, fuck you, dude." ([08:20])
  • The conversation shifts to dollar coins, reminisces about "fat coins," and the near-mythical U.S. Sacagawea dollar.

• Notable quote:

  • Justin (on coin-based economies): "Other countries have figured this out. They've got these big fat coins with gold in them and you'll want to hold them like a pirate." ([09:14])

---

3. Advice Segment #1: Becoming a Cool Fist-Bump Person

• [10:24-17:13]
  • A listener asks how to casually give out fist-bumps like a cool dude.
  • The brothers break down the social calculus: context, the industry you’re in, angle of the bump, and the danger of "leaving people hanging."
    • Travis: "If you've ever left someone hanging, give it up. You can't, because you lose the ring, you're out of the game." ([14:26])
  • Griffin shares a failed attempt at recreating the Double Dragon handshake from the movie, bemoaning how hard it is to standardize hand-based greetings.
    • Griffin: "There's no way to get the message out there that, like, when you go in, it's right hand fist, left hand clasp. Because if you come out, if you come at it and you hit him like that, and you're like, fingernails fucking go in each—oh, man, it's brutal." ([16:04])

---

4. Advice Segment #2: Is It Cool to Eat Peanut Butter at the Mechanic?

• [17:49-23:29]
  • Listener has been waiting for hours, asks if it's unforgivable to eat peanut butter straight from the jar (with a spoon) at the mechanic’s waiting area.
  • The brothers unanimously decide it's fine.
    • Justin: "That's completely reasonable. I 100% have a jar of almond butter in my home for this exact purpose."
    • Travis: "I think it's a beaver superfood."
  • Griffin brainstorms the idea of "fun-size protein bars:" "We need fun sized protein bars. We need a little one bite, two bite. Get in there. A little snack roll." ([18:29])
  • Tangents about Brad Pitt’s constant eating in the Ocean’s movies and the logistics of on-the-go yogurt follow.

---

5. Advice Segment #3: My Therapist Believes in Vampires

• [23:29-28:52]
  • Listener’s therapist keeps referencing vampires as real and possibly active in Chicago.
  • The brothers are delighted and gently skeptical, with Travis pointing out:
    • Travis: "I want to say, before we get into the nuts and bolts of this… such gentle language… I think think is out the window. No, you know, your therapist believes in vampires." ([23:57])
  • Philosophical debate ensues on whether it’s a dealbreaker if the therapy is otherwise effective.
  • Griffin: "If you're doing good work in other departments and there just happens to be this kind of like, vampire thing in the background, just diligently avoid the…" ([28:08])
  • Extended riff about the advantages of having a vampire as a therapist, including "mesmerism."

---

6. Munch Squad: Count Donut Returns

• [34:59-49:52]
  • Count Donut, Justin's vampire alter ego, hosts the Munch Squad segment and reviews Krispy Kreme’s expanded donut lineup.
  • Count Donut: "Krispy Kreme is comprised of an army of 16 boys. We have 16 permanent doughboys." ([38:34])
  • Krispy Kreme’s marketing maneuver: onboarding Montel Jordan for their "This Is How We Do It" campaign.
    • Travis: "Can I—or, sorry, I just want to say: if you've never heard 'This Is How We Do It' by Montel Jordan…"
  • The three "dead donuts" are dramatically revealed (blueberry cake, lemon filled, cake batter).
    • Count Donut: "The original glazed blueberry cake… the original glazed lemon filled… and the cake batter. Now, why would they get rid of two originals?" ([47:40])
  • This segues into an impassioned discussion about being "done with goo" (donut fillings), the merits of cream vs. jelly, and inventing a “cream dog.”

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7. Running Bits and Recurring Themes

• The “Full Beaver Supermoon” is blamed for every technical and conversational derailment.
• The internal logic of “permanent boys” and “temporary boys” at Krispy Kreme.
• The loss of the penny as a sign of changing times, counting down the obsolescence of all coins and, eventually, "money."
• The revolving door of bits—Count Donut, tangents, Travis’ event plugs, odd jobs for fist-bumps—maintains the anarchic energy of the show.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Travis: "Blame it on the Full Beaver Superman." ([01:35])
• Griffin: "If it was moon based, fuck yeah, okay, whatever. I'll change the clock based on the moon." ([04:20])
• Justin: "Other countries have figured this out. They've got these big fat coins with gold in them and you'll want to hold them like a pirate." ([09:14])
• Travis: "If you've ever left someone hanging, give it up. You can't, because you lose the ring, you're out of the game." ([14:26])
• Griffin (on hands greetings): "There's no way to get the message out there that, like, when you go in, it's right hand fist, left hand clasp." ([16:04])
• Justin: "That's completely reasonable. I 100% have a jar of almond butter in my home for this exact purpose." ([18:13])
• Travis: "I want to say, before we get into the nuts and bolts… No, you know your therapist believes in vampires." ([23:57])
• Griffin: "If you're doing good work in other departments and there just happens to be this kind of like, vampire thing in the background, just diligently avoid the…" ([28:08])
• Count Donut: "Krispy Kreme is comprised of an army of 16 boys. We have 16 permanent doughboys." ([38:34])
• Justin: "We’re all done with goo." ([48:00])

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Full Beaver Supermoon Explanation: [01:35-03:37]
• Penny Elimination & Currency Talk: [05:39-09:38]
• Fist-Bump Advice: [10:24-17:13]
• Peanut Butter at the Mechanic: [17:49-23:29]
• Therapist Believes in Vampires: [23:29-28:52]
• Munch Squad/Count Donut Segment: [34:59-49:52]

---

Overall Tone & Flow

The episode is high-energy, meandering, irreverent, and referential, with jokes at every turn. The hosts continually thread real advice with absurdist humor, breaking into side-quests, fictional characters, and sibling jabs. There is an air of self-awareness for both their brand of comedy and knowledge of their audience’s expectations.

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This summary should give new listeners a strong sense of the episode’s biggest laughs, advice content, and memorable digressions—without missing out on the infectious spirit that makes MBMBaM a favorite. All that’s left is to blame your next confusing day on the Full Beaver Supermoon.

Transcript

[Justin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if.

[Justin McElroy]

There'S a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which.

[Travis McElroy]

I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.

[Justin McElroy]

What's up, you cool baby?

[Musical Guest or Background Vocalist]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better it's better with two.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McCoy.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

I never said it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, that was crazy.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't like it.

[Justin McElroy]

I didn't like it.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle is brother Travis. Big dog. Wolf. Wolf. Zoom room McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you say Zoom Room?

[Travis McElroy]

I did.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, what's up, Trap Nation? It's Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

I own it.

[Griffin McElroy]

God, the vibe is. The vibes are already so strange, don't you guys think? Halloween.

[Travis McElroy]

Blame it. Blame it on the Full Beaver Superman.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would love to blame it on the Full Beaver Superman trap. Because you do keep saying that and. Yeah, out loud a lot. And you do keep blaming stuff on it. Like you were.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, I slept bad. I slept bad last night. Didn't get as much sleep as I would like.

[Griffin McElroy]

And you were like 10 minutes late for this recording. Was that the. It's morning.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And I told my friend about it and she said blame it on the supermoon and I've decided to do that on everything.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, can you tell me. I guess to start out before you start. Before I started signing blame2stuff because I'm pretty good at that. What's a full B?

[Justin McElroy]

He's the youngest child.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, it's what I. It's my God given job, right? He doesn't take blame for it.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not his fault.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's a Full Beaver Superman?

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you for asking, Griffin. So do you know what a full moon is?

[Justin McElroy]

A hunter's moon?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, I believe you think you're describing the hunter moon.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, we could call it a beaver hunter super moon if you'd rather do that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So full. You get that concept.

[Justin McElroy]

Hunter super Moon fighter beaver tattooed alien super hunter fighter Moon fighters from Beverly Hills.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hell yeah. Dude.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, hold on. Tmtmtm. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Tmtmtmtn. Tmnt.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Get them in there.

[Musical Guest or Background Vocalist]

Crossover.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

So what's a full beaver super moon?

[Travis McElroy]

It's a full moon. So a beaver moon is in November when beavers build shelters. Native Americans and early American colonists would call the full moon in November beaver moon.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

And then super moon is when there's a full moon, when the moon is at its closest orbit to the Earth. So it looks super big. So altogether it's a full beaver supermoon.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

And it's a synergistic coming together to make me sleep bad and be 10 minutes later.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is it the closeness and the bigness of the moon and it's like putting like a little bit of extra gravitational force on your eyelids?

[Travis McElroy]

It's more that it's looking at me real close, you know, like I know it's there. And I occasionally have to hide myself away from the full beaver supermoon so it can't see my nudity. Yeah. A lot of it is that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm still reeling from the time change. I don't know how I'm gonna adjust to this right now. Cause I'm still feeling like blame it.

[Travis McElroy]

On the full beaver Superman.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. But I'm still blaming the time change. I'm gonna run out of excuses before long. Travis, are they working talent?

[Travis McElroy]

As far as I know, the full beaver supermoon caused the time change.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would actually prefer that. I would prefer if we were changing the time based on celestial movements and actual tangible stuff and not just cause some farmers or whatever felt like it 300,000 years ago. If it was moon based. Fuck yeah, okay, whatever.

[Travis McElroy]

Sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll change the clock based on the moon. I don't want to change it based on an idea. Benjamin Franklin had once. One time.

[Travis McElroy]

I just think that if we're going to give that power to farmers, we should extend it to other industries.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

And it should be like fast food workers. Okay. Every April.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

We set the clocks forward 15 minutes so that Derek's not late for his shift anymore. Right. But then at the end of April, we move it back 22 minutes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Derek saving time is cool. Derek fired. Derek dis disappointment time.

[Travis McElroy]

April is when we clear all of Derek's warnings.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Right. And then at the Derek demerits.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Derek Demerrett time.

[Travis McElroy]

But then in May, when the clocks have moved back forward 22 minutes, now it's time to get your shit together, Derek, because you're 22 minutes late now. Yeah, that's a fireable offense according to Denise.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey. Hey. Can we send jokes out of the room for a second? Speaking of these, like government shifts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, these huge government policy shifts. Okay, if I could just send jokes to them for a second. I went to the inner geek.

[Griffin McElroy]

You went to the what?

[Justin McElroy]

Kids, the inner geek. Pullman Square. If you come in for candle nights, you should go visit them. Went to the inner geek in Pullman Square. There was a sign up outside that said, due to the discontinuation of pennies in 2026, we will no longer be accepting pennies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome.

[Justin McElroy]

Guys. Did you guys know that they were going to stop doing pin.

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

Be honest.

[Griffin McElroy]

No. I'm googling this right now.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. So. Okay. So I've been asking them, whoever they.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are at that moment, and they never do fucking anything. We fucking.

[Justin McElroy]

I've been asking them about this one thing forever. And we are the. I've been asking for this forever. And it happened in May. And everything sucks so much and it's changing so much and how it sucks. There's this one thing I wanted to change and it did and I missed it.

[Travis McElroy]

They took care of the number one issue, though, Justin. There's a lot happening right now and they dealt with the biggest one.

[Justin McElroy]

But it is like one of those pet peeve things of like every conversation I'd get a little bit. Like maybe people would be a little bit careful. Maybe people are careful about bringing up pennies around me because I'll get.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't even mention JC pennies around Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, he doesn't.

[Travis McElroy]

He might fly out the handle. I signed like that like about a week ago. J man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then. Is that how you found out about it? And then.

[Justin McElroy]

Cause Travis, that would be almost to the day when I saw this.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is my finding out about it right now.

[Justin McElroy]

And it opened up my eyes.

[Travis McElroy]

And then like two days ago, I got changed from somewhere and I was handed five brand new, bright, shiny pennies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Gotta go out with a bang.

[Travis McElroy]

So new, they looked fake with like the shield on the back. So I know these are new.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Cause they're like. And I think that they're just like, we need to get all the pennies out of the stock room. We got so many pennies.

[Griffin McElroy]

This makes a lot of sense now, guys. Cause I was walking down the street yesterday and I ran into Penny Marshall, the famed actress from Vernon Shirley. And she was see through, like fucking back to the Future.

[Travis McElroy]

I think that's because she is a ghost.

[Griffin McElroy]

She passed away.

[Travis McElroy]

She had quite a few years ago.

[Justin McElroy]

That's okay. It's a Halloween. Okay?

[Griffin McElroy]

What I said was a Halloween choke. I also googled this penny thing and a lot of news stories are like, retailers warn shoppers. You might not get your exact change back because we're running out of pennies. And that's cool. Does it go the other way?

[Justin McElroy]

Does it go the other way where.

[Griffin McElroy]

We can be like.

[Justin McElroy]

You may not get your exact price.

[Griffin McElroy]

You may not get your price you want for it because you tell me.

[Travis McElroy]

Where to find a fucking penny.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can't charge me 5. 49 for something. It needs to be easily divisible by 5 or else. Fuck you, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you know what would be cool and a great way to get rid of pennies? Get rid of sales tax on shit. That's what the pennies coming.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, dude. Oh my God. You know what I'm realizing? Once we're done with pennies, things won't be 99 anymore, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Can't be, can't be, can't be 99.

[Justin McElroy]

Can't be. Got to be $5. Five good $5 foot long. Finally.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, finally. They don't make them anymore, but if they still did, I would be able to get a $5 foot long for $5 and 30.

[Griffin McElroy]

Check this out. You guys ready for this? Ready for this Shit, yeah. Nickels, you're next. Then dimes, then quarters, then money.

[Justin McElroy]

Currency. Can we be done? Can we? You know what I love over in other countries, they're doing fat coins for dollars.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dude, I love.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude, I love this. I know. We tried fat coins for dollars before once before and then we gave up. Other countries have figured this out. They've got these big fat coins with gold in them and you'll want to hold them like a pirate.

[Travis McElroy]

It feels good when you find them in your pocket and you're like, holy shit, this is $12.

[Justin McElroy]

You find a coin in there, it might be a candy bar. That feels good. You know, I really get that feeling over here.

[Travis McElroy]

I was recently a jingle over there.

[Justin McElroy]

Could be a. Could be a lunch of mushy peas.

[Travis McElroy]

You gotta stop doing what you're doing under the desk right now, Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm tangling the change in my phone.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's just the change in my bloom.

[Travis McElroy]

When I'm handed gold dollars here in the US of A. It's fun because I know, like, well, I'll have these forever because I Can't imagine a scenario in which I have the confidence to both pay with cash and these doubloons.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. Every once in a while, you used to see machines that would have a picture of the Sacagawe queen. I'd be like, we accept these. You might as well take flus. Like, what do you mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

No way.

[Travis McElroy]

Anyways, blame it on the full beaver Superman.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do.

[Travis McElroy]

There you go. It ate all the pennies.

[Justin McElroy]

This is an advice show, Travis. Okay, well, and sorry. Okay. Yeah. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't know.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's my advice. Okay, here's my advice. A little less talking on the show, all right?

[Griffin McElroy]

The show is talking. The show is exclusively talking.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to be a cool dude that casually gives out fist bumps. How do you become one that's from Fists Up, Ontario? Seems like a simple question, but I suspect it might not be so simple.

[Griffin McElroy]

You got big stinker. Is your big stinker energy because of the full beaver supermoon, or is it because of the penny being faced?

[Travis McElroy]

You're also giving a little bit of, like, Jonathan Frakes. Like, the strange but true kind of feeling of, like, this might seem easy, but not for. Not for these three boys.

[Justin McElroy]

Is it.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you ever considered fist bumping?

[Justin McElroy]

It was a great night politically, and I guess I just want to be excited about the fact that pennies are finally gonna. We're finally gonna get rid of them, and I guess I was excited about that. But I will tone down the energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

You can be a big stinker. If you're gonna be a stinker, be a big stinker.

[Griffin McElroy]

We've gotten feedback from the fans a lot, and they're saying you three dads are bringing too much fucking gusto. Week in, week out. You're. You're zapping off the rails, and we need you to cool your jets a little bit.

[Justin McElroy]

Speaking out. Hey, briefly, before we get to our first question, I did want to point out a new addition here.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're not about to grab that lumpy, nasty gourd, are you?

[Travis McElroy]

No, I don't. We don't need to see a gourd again.

[Griffin McElroy]

I grab that fucked up gourd. Oh, boy. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

This is my trophy for the pumpkin carbon competition. I want to say thanks to everybody who supported the Huntington Children's Museum. It does say HCM Kids Pumpkin carving champ. Biggest muscles, Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does it say biggest muscles?

[Travis McElroy]

It's implied.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. I like the small.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know how I carved it without the biggest muscles.

[Griffin McElroy]

I like that it's small juice. I like that it's a really, really small trophy. A lot of people only care about big trophies, but, like, it's the prize. The prize is not. The size of the trophy is not sort of intrinsic to the value of the prize.

[Travis McElroy]

And I think that's not tall, but it's very wide.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I do like that. So I think fist bump. Fist bumps. Easy answer is, what's your job? Is a question, not an answer. Because there are certain jobs that lend themselves to fist bumps. Anything involved in the SoCal sports scene. Youth pastor. Fucking. What's one?

[Travis McElroy]

Proctologist.

[Justin McElroy]

No, see, Griffin, I was doing real ones. Was listing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's do real ones first. Let's start with real ones.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Real ones.

[Justin McElroy]

We didn't actually allow jokes back into the room after the penny discussion, so maybe we should reopen the door to jokes.

[Travis McElroy]

Put it back in. Thank you so much, Eric.

[Griffin McElroy]

Proctologist. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Here'S my. This is when I got this question. I saw it as one of those flowcharts. Yes. Note right where I feel like there's two things. Either you ask for it, right? Fist bump, or you just put it out there confidently, and now it's on the other person. And that seems to me to be the starting decision you need to make.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, but let's put, like, angle is huge, probably the first thing, Right? Cause low is like, I'm building a brand. Low is discreet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, between you and I, I'm charging.

[Griffin McElroy]

My Green Lantern out of frame.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like an undercover bro right here. This is almost a little scary, isn't it?

[Count Donut]

Whoa.

[Griffin McElroy]

Juice, calm down.

[Justin McElroy]

CB Code. Whoa. I know.

[Travis McElroy]

You can't go straight arm, Justin. You can't straight arm out.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I.

[Justin McElroy]

And listen. And here's the thing, guys. I'm not going to go higher than this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just like, even.

[Justin McElroy]

Because there is a camera.

[Griffin McElroy]

Unless you could curve down.

[Justin McElroy]

You could curve.

[Travis McElroy]

No, that's definitely scary. That's giving me your lunch money right there.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's say you go down like that.

[Count Donut]

Take a look at. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

You give them a tattoo from below.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Give them a fist bump by grabbing their shirt collar and coming from above. Right.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

Fist bump.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Have you ever. One thing is, if you've ever left someone hanging, give it up. You can't, because you. You lose the ring, you're out of the game. Yeah, for sure. You're out. You're out. If you've ever left someone hanging when they went for a bump. And here's the thing about fist bumps. No one would leave you hanging I mean, no one of consequence.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a guy at the gym that I go to who fist bumps me every time he sees me.

[Justin McElroy]

Huge.

[Travis McElroy]

And it's maybe the most. I feel like, ah, they think I'm like a gym guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

You belong.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Count Donut]

It's huge.

[Justin McElroy]

It's huge. When I went through a day if more than three people fist bumped me, I would end it weeping by my bedside. I would be just like, thinking about, like, wow, it, you know, like, I'm finally getting somewhere. I'm getting somewhere, you know, I.

[Travis McElroy]

So much more affirming these days than a high five.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin, let Griff wait. Hold on, Trav. We've had. We've each had a turn.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, sorry, I forgot.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you. Juice. This never happens.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a turn based podcast.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, well, I'm trying to pay attention. Yeah. So you're. You. I had a turn. And now you should.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. But now I feel a lot of pressure to really deliver.

[Justin McElroy]

Dad's in Scotland. Yeah, Dad's in Scotland. So I have to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dad can't.

[Travis McElroy]

It's your turn. Normally up front, he.

[Justin McElroy]

He is normally on the calls. We edit, but he's normally on the calls telling us.

[Griffin McElroy]

So I was gonna say that. So. Gosh, I really wanna fucking land the plane right now. And I feel like all eyes are on me. All eyes on me. So I remember in the movie adaptation of Double Dragon, they had a.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait, sorry, the movie adaptation?

[Travis McElroy]

The movie of the novelization, Charlie Kaufman.

[Justin McElroy]

Like the Charlie Kaufman thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

The movie Double Dragon based on the video game Double Dragon based on the true story based on Pushed by Sapphire, the Double Dragon movie. The two guys from Double Dragon who are not Ken and Ryu, but they.

[Justin McElroy]

Are Billy and Jimmy Lee.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. Is that real? You would know better than me.

[Travis McElroy]

It sounds right.

[Griffin McElroy]

They came in at each other, one hand open, one fist, and the other one would alternate it. Right. And then they would push in. So they would kind of grab each other's fists. Yeah. In a sort of like train coupling. Like a train coupling. Yes. I always thought that was so cool. And I tried to get it going with some friends in elementary, middle school, high school, college now, and it never really worked out because there's no way to get the message out there that, like, when you go in, it's right hand fist, left hand clasp. Because if you come out, if you come at it and you hit him like that, and you're like, fingernails fucking go in each. Oh, man, it's brutal. But this would be, I think, pretty cool. I didn't fucking have it, guys. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

That's all right, Griff. That's okay, Trav.

[Travis McElroy]

I am space for that.

[Justin McElroy]

So sorry, Trav. Hey, Griff. Hey, Griff. Griff, Griff. Your turn has ended.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm gonna go ahead and ask Trav.

[Justin McElroy]

If he had some other stuff he'd like to say about it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that weird gourd in the background looks like Ben Grimm's penis.

[Justin McElroy]

Damn it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck. I can't believe how long I made him wait for that, Trav.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, Travis, give me the pun on it's clobbering time and we can move on.

[Griffin McElroy]

But. But it can't be. But it can't be. It's slobbering time.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, it's knobberin time.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Justin McElroy]

Dang, that's good. Dang, that's good. Dang it. Here's another question. I've been at the mechanic for three hours and there's no end in sight. It's getting to be lunchtime and I skipped breakfast. Would it be unforgivable to pull out the jar of peanut butter and spoon in my purse and start snacking? They don't have a separate waiting room, so I'd be doing this in fairly close to the front desk. That's from Holland.

[Count Donut]

Ooh la la.

[Justin McElroy]

And they say I don't like protein bars. So instead I eat a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter when needed. That's completely reason. I 100% have a jar of almond butter in my home for this exact purpose. If I left the house, I would have a travel jar.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it's a beaver superfood.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is a full beaver superfood. That and acai. Those two. I had an amazing idea during Halloween, trick or treating, walking around. You know how when you eat a protein bar it sucks after like two bites? We need fun sized protein bars. We need a little one bite, two bite. Get in there. A little snack roll. A little fucking couple grams to get you fucking juicing. And then you're not committing to a big chewy event. You're just getting in there, getting out. So I think that this would be a good fix. Well, I'll answer the question in a moment. But I just think, can they be loose? Loose?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't wanna make an extra. The paper.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, you're saying like a. Like one might get a box of Cheez.

[Justin McElroy]

Its like a loose box?

[Griffin McElroy]

A box of. Yeah, sure, we could do that.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, good. I just wanna cut down a pack.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, no, that's huge.

[Justin McElroy]

Like a bunch of like little.

[Travis McElroy]

Could we make some that are full size protein bar. But the final quarter of it is a cand that you work your way to. That's a little treat at the end.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like a Mars bar sort of situation. Only it's.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but it's right at the end. You know those ones that come in segments?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And then at the bottom of, and then at the bottom of the candy bar there's a tiny cigarette. Yeah, it's great shit, dude. And then at the end of the cigarette. Yeah, Just a little bit of cocaine.

[Travis McElroy]

Just a little.

[Musical Guest or Background Vocalist]

Just a little bit of cocaine.

[Travis McElroy]

You're welcome.

[Count Donut]

From the Mars Corporation.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know if you guys ever run into this, but when you have to take your car to the mechanic, it becomes in my brain the equivalent of like the mind, the logic puzzle. Of like there's a farmer with a boat and there's like a fox and a hen and a bag of grain. Of like you're not gonna have your car but you don't wanna stay there, so you gotta get back. But the other person has to come get you. And then you have to get back and get. There has to be a better way.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, there does.

[Justin McElroy]

It's biking or walking.

[Travis McElroy]

So, Justin, I'm supposed to bike next to my car?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, you ghost ride the whip on your bike all the way to the gas to the tire station.

[Justin McElroy]

I have to ask you guys if I was out of line with my mechanic. Last week I had a small incident that removed the side view mirror from my car where it normally is attached.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Justin, that's very, very careful language.

[Griffin McElroy]

They pop off sometimes. They just kind of pop off sometimes.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I, I overcorrected and I hit the mirror on the rails in the viaduct. Right on those handrails in the viaduct.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh boy. Shit. Your pants in your life were flashing before your eyes.

[Griffin McElroy]

I bet that was gone.

[Justin McElroy]

It was not a good day. It was not a good day for me. So I called the place that fixes the car and I say, hello, my mirror is broken.

[Travis McElroy]

Hello, is this the car hospital?

[Justin McElroy]

Hello, Hello. I need to have my mirrors broken. I need to have my mirror fixed. My mirror's broken. And they said, okay, here's an appointment. And I had Sydney take me to the appointment to drop my car off for this appointment. And then I get there and they look at my mirror and they said, oh, this is broken.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And I said, yeah, they said, we're gonna need to replace this. Yeah, that's a broken. Yeah, it's a broken mirror. And they're like okay, we're gonna order. We're gonna order it. It'll be in. In a few days, and you can bring it back and get it replaced. I said, okay, just for. Just so I know. How should I have phrased this time? So I. Next time, so I. You are not even. Am I a layman can give you an assessment. Yeah, it's fucked.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a. It's a mirror.

[Musical Guest or Background Vocalist]

I.

[Travis McElroy]

Mirror beyond recognition.

[Justin McElroy]

And I did say on the phone I broke my mirror.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I do not think that they were like, she didn't come out with super glue to the parking lot. Like, let me take a shot. Like, I don't know what.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mirrors are fancy. Famously one of the most irreparable substances.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. You just can't unring that bell.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's wild. I think you're fully justified.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you. Next time I'll be more clear that this thing is just absolutely nice.

[Travis McElroy]

Eat your peanut butter.

[Griffin McElroy]

Eat your. Oh, God, yes. Sorry, we got so distracted.

[Travis McElroy]

If anything, if they get uncomfortable, maybe it's gonna speed up that repair a little bit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I also think if they're like, we.

[Travis McElroy]

Gotta get this peanut butter pervert outta here.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know how.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not saying that. I'm not saying. You would never say that you would eat peanut butter. You're fine.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know how in the Ocean's movies, Brad Pitts eats all of the food and every time he does it, he looks really cool? Yeah. I think there's, like, a way you can do that. I think if I see you, I'm like, they're on the go. They have places to be. They need to get out of here. They need protein for energy, for business.

[Travis McElroy]

The weirdest one, though, Griffin, is there's a scene where he's just eating a yogurt cup. And did he have a refrigerated lunchbox with him? Like, is there a little ice pack in there? Where'd he get that yogurt from?

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you, Travis. Obviously someone else has been reading the IMDb whoopsies with his pro account, finding in this scene, Brad Pitt ate a yogurt, but where'd he keep it cold? I don't think so.

[Justin McElroy]

I think my therapist believes in vampires. Twice now he has brought them up seemingly out of nowhere and talked about them like they're real. The first time, he played it off like a slip of the tongue, but the second time, he really seemed to be trying to sell me on vampires being real and active in Chicago. How many more times do I let him bring up vampires before I Find a new therapist. Is he a vampire? That's from vulnerable in the vindicity.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to say, before we get into the nuts and bolts of this, please, such gentle language in the wording. I think my therapist believes in vampires. And then in the next sentence, talked about them like they're real. And then in the next sentence, the second time, he really seemed to be trying to sell. Hey, I think think is out the window. No, you know, you're therapist.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know, I am curious how one manifests a. An opinion that they believe in vampires via a slip of the tongue. How does one accidentally let out sound like a vampire?

[Travis McElroy]

Ugh. I mean, you have to learn to.

[Justin McElroy]

Distinguish these thoughts that you're having.

[Travis McElroy]

These.

[Justin McElroy]

You have to remind yourself these are not real. They're not like your home or your couch or vampire.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

They're not like, they're just in your head.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And just imagine like when you find yourself in one of these scenarios, like what would a vampire do? You know?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, and I don't mean like from the movies. I mean like my neighbor Todd, who I only see at night and he says he works the late shift and.

[Griffin McElroy]

He bited me so hard once I.

[Travis McElroy]

Died and came back to life.

[Justin McElroy]

I think the question asker needs to figure something else out before they figure out how their therapist feels about vampires, which I think they know and are denying. They need to figure out how they feel about vampires.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Because the end of this question is how many more times do I let him bring up vampires before I find a new therapist? And then is he a vampire? So, my friend, you need to figure out for you if vampires are real.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a question mark there.

[Justin McElroy]

It seems like you're waffling. And honestly, if your therapist has introduced doubt about vampires and their reality, that may be enough to start looking for a new therapist. I think that that's not a great. I'm not a professional, but it doesn't seem good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Unless. Unless maybe your vampire therapist is the perfect person for you to do this work with of figuring out if you believe in vampires or not. Did you think about that? It's going to be challenging and you can't do it around the. Don't do it around the full beaver supermoon.

[Travis McElroy]

That's for sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

Because that's when vampires are at their absolute veiniest.

[Travis McElroy]

So werewolf receptionist is going to just be a real.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just go absolutely ape. And so give it a week or two before you go back in.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait, it's a were ape. Holy shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Dude, it's. Those are. Those are real. And they're not in Chicago. They're more in the southeast, kind of like, region of Chicago probably has were Bears, right?

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, absolutely.

[Travis McElroy]

Duh. Werebears.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sometimes I see their defense crumble and I'm like, where da Bears?

[Justin McElroy]

Oh.

[Travis McElroy]

Ow.

[Griffin McElroy]

I stabbed myself in the hand with a pin.

[Travis McElroy]

Now he's gonna be a werepin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now.

[Justin McElroy]

Shit, man. Ghost of my dick had got to you quick that time.

[Travis McElroy]

I think if I found out my therapist was a vampire, I'd be a little psyched because they could use their vampire mesmerism to just get some of that shit out of there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Holy shit. Tell me about it, dude. There's a reason they call it the work. It's hard and it makes you so tired. Sometimes after therapy I have to take a nap and that's embarrassing. Just mezz me, bro. Just fucking laugh it right out. Empire magic dude.

[Travis McElroy]

I could call him at night. Cause I know he's up. And then I would be like, hey, I can't sleep. Can you mezz me through the phone? Yeah, and like, knock me out. Give me a quick mezz. Can you mez through the phone?

[Justin McElroy]

He'll be like, mezz, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

This. Is that all or nothing thinking, Griffin, I've been telling you that you have to work on that. And I'm like, I know.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gonn. Just blast me with your vampire magic. Just fly over here to the window and mesmerize.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not gonna let you in.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ah, fuck.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm really stressed about this show. Come mesme.

[Griffin McElroy]

So I can do good jobs.

[Travis McElroy]

Just mesme real quick.

[Justin McElroy]

You can fly faster than sound.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa.

[Travis McElroy]

Give you a little blood.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, just a little, man. I will also say finding a therapist, it can be challenging. I think maybe even in Chicago, it can be tough to find someone you. Who can find your. Who takes your insurance or what. It's a hard process. So maybe this. If you're doing good work in other departments and there just happens to be this kind of like, vampire thing in the background, just diligently avoid the.

[Travis McElroy]

Is him being a vampire in any way detrimental to the process? If not, maybe he's, you know, he's an angel or an Edward or one of the many, many examples in pop culture.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

Good ones, Good vampires.

[Travis McElroy]

Good ones. One of the good beat ones.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, the upbeat vampires.

[Travis McElroy]

Who does.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't want to litigate angel, and I really don't even want to talk about Angel.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, he's barely holding it together.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean? That's the other thing we got to acknowledge.

[Justin McElroy]

Mike Ditka is alive.

[Griffin McElroy]

Huh?

[Justin McElroy]

Who told? Yeah, that's the first breaking news. Second breaking news. Cats have gotta eat.

[Travis McElroy]

And really?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. In my house, the cats are eating Smalls. In fact, just this morning, I was given the hero's welcome by Olive and Amelia when I opened up a pack of ground bird, which is their favorite after smooth bird.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Which says a lot about them. Very classy. I think that they love the smooth bird. I think your cats are gonna love it, too. Before, we used to use the dry food, and then we just kind of let them graze throughout the day. This has given us more control over their diet, giving them healthier coats.

[Travis McElroy]

And now they're excited to see you.

[Justin McElroy]

They're finally pleased that I exist, at least in those windows while they're hungry. I mean, after they've eaten, I try to give them their space. But, like, in that window, I feel really good. It's a really positive thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you feel like it's maybe transactional, a little bit, the relationship you have with your cats?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, every relationship with a cat is transactional to some degree, Griffin.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think so, Griff. I could see where you'd be tempted to draw a connection between me opening the smalls and giving it to them and them needing it to live and them tolerating me during that window. I could see why you would make a connection, but I think there's something a little bit deeper going on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Cool.

[Travis McElroy]

They appreciate, Justin, on a deeper level that you wouldn't understand. Understand. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. But you know what? I know they don't appreciate is a great bargain, because that is for humans. Give your cat the food they deserve. For a limited time, because you are one of our listeners, you can get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com mybrother one last time that 60% off your first order, plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com mybrother I don't read.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ahead when we come up, when we do this show. And that is why I am, I guess, delighted to see that one of our sponsors is zocdoc. This week, after I talked about how hard it is to find a therapist in a big city like Chicago. It's not actually that tough if you use ZocDoc. I'm speaking of, from personal experience, I moved to Washington, D.C. in Texas, they just.

[Travis McElroy]

To get away from all the vampires.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. In Texas, they just had one big hospital and you go there and you say, I have this. And they say, well then you go to Dr. This and then they fix it. And then when you go to D.C.

[Justin McElroy]

And it's just a series of tubes, they just shoot you.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're Dr. Trauma. Like they shoot you, they blast you up there and then they take care of you. And it is what it is in dc. That's not how it works. You have to go and you have to do a seek and find because the Doctors hide. And ZocDocs helps you find the doctors that take your insurance, that are specialists in whatever it is that you need. And it even helps you book appointments with them like super fast. When you book an appointment through Zocdoc, typically you're waiting 24 to 72 hours after booking to get in there. More often than not you can get same day appointments. I genuinely, I can't tell you how many times I have used ZocDoc to find medical practitioners for myself and my family that are all taken by my insurance. And it is my default method now when I need to find a doctor or specialist in my, in my area because it's, I don't know, it's so easy and such a good idea that it, I don't know, it seems. So of course this is how it should work. So that's ZocDoc. Z O C Doc is the name of the service. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com mybrother to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com mybrother Zocdoc.com mybrother It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. What are you waiting for?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know. Grif, it wasn't for you. Man were you talking to. We're doing the show so it's not really a good time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wasn't for you. If you want to use ZocDoc, you should. Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like that's hard to sell in a promo like this. So we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered. Take It Away, Real Billy Joel, Teddy.

[Justin McElroy]

Rock Spin on Lake Syne wars and Shire Circle Time, Sega Dreamcast, Caesar Salad.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tower of Annoyed, Keepy Up Big Time Capsules, Wayne's World Cheese Pulls, Wallace Stevens, Donkey Kong, Fun Size, Almond Joy. They didn't start the podcast.

[Justin McElroy]

Except that's not true. They did in 22. They didn't start the podcast. No, they actually did. That was, in fact, a fib.

[Griffin McElroy]

Listen to Wonderful every Wednesday on Maxwell, OptimumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, Real Billy Joel.

[Justin McElroy]

No problem, Griffin. What's more action packed than prestige television?

[Griffin McElroy]

With more continuity than comic books and more reality than reality television?

[Travis McElroy]

It's professional wrestling.

[Justin McElroy]

And to better understand wrestling is the ultimate form of entertainment, you need the Tights and Fights podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is the perfect wrestling show with a lot of love, a lack of toxic masculinity, and just the right amount of butts. Cats and Spandex listen to Tights and Fights every Saturday on Maximum Fun.

[Justin McElroy]

All right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not what I was expecting.

[Justin McElroy]

I found the Munch Squad. I won two. Munch Squad Squad?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Count Donut]

Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast within podcast. I am Count Donut, and the cat keeps pissing on my cat.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, that makes sense, because Count Donut, it really looks.

[Count Donut]

This is all I had. This is from a costume party I went to.

[Travis McElroy]

Count Donut, I'm so glad you're here. We have so many questions about vampires. Vis a vis therapists.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, that's part of Chicago. Chicago, a hotbed.

[Griffin McElroy]

Would you say the Chicago, Illinois?

[Count Donut]

Yes. We love any city with a solid transportation system.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can turn into bats. Why do you need a bus?

[Count Donut]

Getting around underground.

[Travis McElroy]

You can walk around. Griffin, you still take the bus.

[Count Donut]

Indeed.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can't turn to that, though. That's different.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but I mean, it still takes exertion.

[Count Donut]

It's tiring.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, you're right.

[Count Donut]

And also, you lose your keys.

[Griffin McElroy]

You lose your keys, you drop all your clothes and your stuff and you.

[Count Donut]

No place to put the keys for a bat.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe a batpie pocket.

[Count Donut]

A batpiece.

[Griffin McElroy]

So whenever you come out of bat form, Count Donut, you are new.

[Count Donut]

The day I was born. 435 years ago.

[Travis McElroy]

Exactly. Happy birthday.

[Griffin McElroy]

Seem like crazy long.

[Count Donut]

Me and Jeremy Piven.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

You and Jeremy Piven have the same birthday.

[Count Donut]

Margaret Mitchell, Jeremy Piven, and actually Chef Jose Andres. Very special.

[Griffin McElroy]

Really? Wow. Extremely charitable vampire. Maybe it's wrong.

[Count Donut]

This is just a birthday we share. It's not a.

[Justin McElroy]

We just happen to have the same.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Count Donut]

Me and Jose and the rest of the people. May I talk about Longlands?

[Travis McElroy]

I. Yeah, please.

[Count Donut]

This is why I'm here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Count Donut]

Krispy Kreme has begun again. They've wiped the slate clean and attempted once more to climb the great mountain. Krispy Kreme has announced a bigger refreshed donut menu.

[Justin McElroy]

America, when it comes to giving you.

[Count Donut]

More flavors, more variety, and more ways to does it, this is how we do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Count Donut]

Krispy Kreme Inc. Is refreshing its donut menu, adding nine new flavors and growing its everyday menu to 16 full size donuts from 10.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, but nine new flavors and. But it's only six more.

[Count Donut]

16 donuts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Count Donut]

Imagine Travis going into a restaurant and having a choice of 16 different ones to enjoy.

[Travis McElroy]

But there's a flavor.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's a three flavor. There's three flavors that have been axed. And I'm curious what those three are that have been left on the cutting room floor.

[Travis McElroy]

Chocolate.

[Count Donut]

That would require a L. A level of dedication to the Krispy Kreme offerings that I do not possess. It will not surprise you, Griffin. They do not wish to talk about the past.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Just like future. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Interesting.

[Count Donut]

We're moving on. These popular donuts were offered previously only for a limited time, and now they're permanent boys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Permanent boys.

[Count Donut]

You're better than this.

[Griffin McElroy]

What did you say?

[Count Donut]

They're permanent boys.

[Travis McElroy]

So this is so I also thought it's basic.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a basic podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

I thought the press release was saying these are our permanent boys now. Like saying it in the same.

[Travis McElroy]

I also thought that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you, Travis.

[Count Donut]

Krispy Kreme is comprised of an army of 16 boys.

[Travis McElroy]

Each chosen our doughboys.

[Count Donut]

We have 16 permanent doughboys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Why don't the Doors.

[Count Donut]

Hey.

[Justin McElroy]

Why don't the doughboys ever want to be my friend?

[Travis McElroy]

Why don't they have you on countdown?

[Count Donut]

Why have never the doughboys ever emailed me?

[Justin McElroy]

Why don't they never said.

[Griffin McElroy]

Never emailed them.

[Justin McElroy]

They know I love.

[Count Donut]

They know I love these kinds of things.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, fast food, things like that.

[Count Donut]

They've never even.

[Griffin McElroy]

They might not know. They might not have heard or like heard this bit.

[Count Donut]

They've heard.

[Justin McElroy]

I've heard of them a lot of times. You know, it seems maybe they've heard.

[Count Donut]

Of Justin McElroy once. They could email me just like, hey, got similar, you know.

[Justin McElroy]

Did I say Justin McElroy mean Count Donut?

[Travis McElroy]

Have you tried messing up very different feelings? You gotta mess them.

[Count Donut]

We have friends of friends.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mezz them. Mess them with your power.

[Travis McElroy]

Use your power right now.

[Count Donut]

All right, doughboys.

[Justin McElroy]

Justin McElroy has an overlapping interest with you in the fast food world.

[Count Donut]

World.

[Justin McElroy]

But he has never spoken with you. He feels like you would get along. And honestly, guys, it's been going on so long, there's some part of him.

[Travis McElroy]

That thinks you kind of hate them.

[Count Donut]

For some reason because it's just weird that you guys aren't friends. It seems weird.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Count Donut]

So reach out to him via email or LinkedIn.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa. I didn't even know Juice was on, like. Yeah, he's big on LinkedIn.

[Justin McElroy]

You gotta go somewhere to post your Ziggy cartoons, right?

[Count Donut]

So he's doing it on LinkedIn.

[Justin McElroy]

Listen.

[Count Donut]

New York cheesecake, Oreo cookies and claim original glazed cake.

[Justin McElroy]

Cinnamon apple field.

[Count Donut]

Which is weird. Original glazed cake. They didn't have this.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is one of the nine new flavors.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a new one. They were like, check it out.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think they can have a new original flavor.

[Travis McElroy]

They must have.

[Count Donut]

Yeah. They're also doing an original glazed cream filled donut season, Biscoff cookie buttercream.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Count Donut]

Maple iced chocolate fudge brownie donut and an original glazed pumpkin spice cake donut.

[Travis McElroy]

Where's the original? Coming in here?

[Count Donut]

Well, I guess they're saying that I. Travis. You're Travis?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Count Donut]

I have no idea. Krispy Kreme will rotate in for new donuts on a seasonal basis five times a year.

[Travis McElroy]

So they're not permanent Boys.

[Count Donut]

The last boys. Four boys. These are temporary boys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Count Donut]

Love them and leave them. The other boys are four months.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm so excited to offer to introduce nine new flavors to our lineup so everyone can build a dozen that is unique as they are, said Alison Holder.

[Count Donut]

Krispy Kreme Chief Brandon Product Officer.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, listen, I don't need more. I don't want to be pedantic, but I'm going to for a moment because I do want to be pedantic.

[Griffin McElroy]

Love that.

[Travis McElroy]

Which is that in Krispy Kreme's psyche, in their mindset, the uniqueness of every human being can be summed up with 12 out of 16 donut options.

[Justin McElroy]

Honestly, Travis, you could express all the human genome with four different compounds, right? I don't see why we genome.

[Travis McElroy]

Sure, Justin. I'm talking about personality, baby.

[Griffin McElroy]

Also juice. Where did you fucking come from, dude?

[Travis McElroy]

Dude.

[Count Donut]

What? What?

[Griffin McElroy]

Where did you come from, man? Cause you haven't.

[Justin McElroy]

Fuck.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's the super moon, dude. It like. I'm telling you, it's like throwing off all of our.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, it's. It's the cave. It's the cats keep pissing on my cage.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You know why they're pissing on it? Full beaver Superman.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. So an old roundabout one.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

What's coming?

[Count Donut]

Sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

It's the full beaver superman. Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool, dude.

[Count Donut]

It's because I was reading the quote and I got all confused. Can I tell you the only reason? There's only one reason I wanted to tell you this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Count Donut]

The new menu is supported by a marketing campaign that includes r and the b singer, songwriter, producer, and Grammy winner Montel Jordan.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. I was waiting for this is how we do it.

[Travis McElroy]

This is. Okay.

[Count Donut]

Who Krispy Kreme recruited to make his iconic 1995 number one hit. This is how we do it during its 30th anniversary. Jordan's.

[Justin McElroy]

This is how he doesn't take on the song.

[Count Donut]

Encourages fans to.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right, all right, all right.

[Count Donut]

Encourages fans to share on social media how they're enjoying and sharing Krispy Kreme's new expanded everyday menu, including sweet dance moves now. Nice.

[Travis McElroy]

They know just how to go viral.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

So, guys, here's what I want to ask you.

[Count Donut]

The next quote is from Montel Jordan.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I want you to guess what if you were montage. Can you tell me? To the best of your ability.

[Count Donut]

And I will warn you, one point will be awarded.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

To the best of your ability. What?

[Count Donut]

The quote from Montel Jordan will be about his partnership with Krispy Kreme.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm assuming it's not. Well, I really like money.

[Justin McElroy]

There's a lot of things it's not. Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

I really like money probably isn't. I'm going to say Justin, based off of past experience.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm a big fan.

[Justin McElroy]

Who is Justin?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'm a big fan of Krispy Kreme, and getting to work with them is something I've always wanted. Something along those lines.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, let me take a swing at it.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin.

[Count Donut]

Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is how I do it. It's Friday night, and I feel like eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts on the west side. Designated driver take the keys to my truck.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'm buying a buzz gonna buy a duz this is how I dozin.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is how yeah.

[Count Donut]

Kind of buzz gonna buy a duz is very good and accurate.

[Griffin McElroy]

I will say Krisp does it like nobody does. Is that. Could that be part of it?

[Count Donut]

Here we go.

[Travis McElroy]

To all my neighbors.

[Griffin McElroy]

To all these donuts. All these donuts got much flavor.

[Travis McElroy]

God, can I Griffin. All my neighbors got 16 flavors this is how I dozin how he doesn't Cause you need to get the information out.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's right. That's better.

[Justin McElroy]

My music is about celebrating good times, and nothing brings people joy quite like a dozen Krispy Kreme nuts. Nothing, nothing, nothing, Nothing. Being A Krispy Kreme.

[Travis McElroy]

I kind of want to do a deep dive now to see if Montel Jordan is like, a father.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's fucking sage advice, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

Being a Krispy Kreme fan, doing this remix for Krispy Kreme's new core menu is a blessing. And I'm excited about hyping everyone to discover some new favorite donuts and make sweet memories. Krispy Kreme does donuts like nobody does. All right, all right.

[Travis McElroy]

Never cut back on a delicious snack. This is how we die.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think Travis and I both got little pieces here and there.

[Count Donut]

I have, if you're interested, boys, the list of the three dead donuts.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I am. But first, just in case anyone hasn't heard it, this Is How We do it by Montel Jordan is one of the all time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, I swear to God. I swear to God, if you're about to give a full throated endorsement of this Is How We do it by Montel Jordan. If you've never heard this Is How.

[Justin McElroy]

We Do It, do it by Montel.

[Travis McElroy]

Jordan, you guys got a lot of young listeners.

[Griffin McElroy]

You got to check this shit. It doesn't matter how old the listeners are. Have they seen a commercial for any company ever? Because this is how we do it's in it somewhere.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, this is Autumn, Autumn's favorite song. And for their anniversary, Slice got her a remixed version of this Is How We Do it that is about her.

[Griffin McElroy]

Holy shit, man.

[Justin McElroy]

I know, I know. So he launched a rebrand too. He launched his own marketing campaign. Just about. His wife is great. You know, you could. Montel Jordan is happy to get in there and help you restart your brand, whatever your brand is. He's ready for new menu.

[Travis McElroy]

You.

[Count Donut]

So the three.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, God damn it. Just didn't do the voice at all, that whole bit.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's okay. He can come back.

[Travis McElroy]

That was you.

[Justin McElroy]

That was me.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was you. I don't think Count Donut would know. Ottoman slice.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, but it's like, why did I. You know what I mean? It doesn't make. It doesn't make sense.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can just really blame.

[Justin McElroy]

I know, but it's like if I don't have the consistency, you know, I.

[Travis McElroy]

Need to hear you say it's the full Beaver supermoon and then we can move on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. As Dracula.

[Justin McElroy]

It might be the full beaver Superman.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, thank you.

[Count Donut]

As part of the menu expansion, three previously everyday flavors. This is the way they put it. Have been removed. The original glazed blueberry cake.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck off, man. That's. Jesus Christ. That's like my favorite.

[Count Donut]

The original glazed lemon filled.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Count Donut]

And the cake batter. Now, why would they get rid of two originals?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Count Donut]

You know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. No, for sure. It doesn't make much sense to me.

[Count Donut]

They were born there and now they die there.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's their house.

[Count Donut]

That's their home. They live there.

[Travis McElroy]

Do they have a limited amount of donuts they can make every day that they have to get rid of flavors?

[Count Donut]

They're ahead of you, Travis. Listen, Fred, not these donuts could return in the future.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Count Donut]

And of course, Krispy Kreme will continue to delight fans with many limited time built in your mouth donut innovations throughout the year, including this holiday season. Some more surprises. Some more surprises are on the.

[Justin McElroy]

The.

[Count Donut]

The horizon. Maybe.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, the blueberry one hurts. The lemon goo is like, that's too much lemon goo. And we all get it.

[Count Donut]

You're all done with goo.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're all done with goo.

[Count Donut]

We should talk to Donuts about this cake. None of us want the goo.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cake batter star burn bright and fast. But is gone now. But some of us like, it's not even original.

[Count Donut]

They don't want to claim it. They didn't make it up. But can I ask you guys, we're all done with goo? Yeah. Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, for sure.

[Count Donut]

Can you tell. Tell them humans are also done with goo. The vampires. We have been over this stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

Jelly filled. We don't know why you keep doughing.

[Count Donut]

It, but no one listens to us.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Please tell your representatives.

[Travis McElroy]

I like a cream filling.

[Count Donut]

Write your representatives and tell them you're doing it.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not a question of the substance inside of it. It is a question of ratio. When you the donuts that are filled. A Danish can have a cream filling and a fruit filling, but it's a reasonable layer. A pate of that stuff. I don't need a water balloon full of jelly to eat because that's too much.

[Travis McElroy]

This is why long johns work. Long johns threw out like a hot dog.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, Like a cream dog.

[Count Donut]

They should call them creamy dogs.

[Griffin McElroy]

They should call them creamy dogs.

[Travis McElroy]

For sure.

[Count Donut]

I've never thought of this until this moment. Cream dogs. Very appetizing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, bye.

[Count Donut]

Time to die.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, no. It's okay. This is what he calls going to sleep.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, right.

[Travis McElroy]

The little death.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's pretty dramatic.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know if you've.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, Juice.

[Justin McElroy]

I was in and out there.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I think because of the supermoon and this has never happened. I think because of the supermoon we were Kind of fighting for control. Cause I had other things I wanted to do.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. No, I get that.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I had other dreams. I had a whole other bit written down that I was gonna do. It scripted.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, do you wanna do Was timeless.

[Justin McElroy]

It was a timely.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh time.

[Griffin McElroy]

It was timely to 10 minutes ago.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it was about. It was a 4:20 kind of joke.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's 10:38.

[Justin McElroy]

They don't know that. They don't know that. They don't know when we're recording this. You guys could have just gone with it like. Good point, J man.

[Count Donut]

Or something.

[Travis McElroy]

Good point, J man. Good job.

[Justin McElroy]

I can't keep this fiction up on my own, you know? Yeah. Great job.

[Travis McElroy]

I agree with Justin. Hey, everybody, Guess what.

[Griffin McElroy]

What?

[Travis McElroy]

We're doing candlelights in person this year.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, my God.

[Travis McElroy]

We're back in Huntington. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You guys are gonna come here. But you have warrants.

[Travis McElroy]

I know.

[Griffin McElroy]

So don't tell anyone.

[Travis McElroy]

It's worth it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, tell lots of people. Like tell your friends and whatever to come, but don't tell any cops.

[Travis McElroy]

And guess what? It's also going to be streaming. Here's how it works. In person show December 6th at 7pm Eastern Time in Huntington, West Virginia. And that ticket includes the virtual stream ticket which will then be digitally premiering recording of the show with all kinds of bonus stuff with it. That's gonna be December 19th at 9pm Eastern time. And we'll be in the chat talking through it. That video on demand stream will be available through January 4th, and all benefits from the show will be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Tickets for both the in person and livestream are available at bit ly candlenights2025.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you've never come to the candlenights shows, I mean, that makes sense because we haven't done one live in like four years. But it really is such an amazing time and it's so rad seeing everyone come together in our hometown and everyone always has a really, really good time.

[Justin McElroy]

So if, as I understand it is.

[Travis McElroy]

Like half sold out.

[Justin McElroy]

So hurry up and get some tickets if you want to get your tickets, because a lot of people locally I think will come as well. But you want to hurry up and get your tickets quick.

[Travis McElroy]

Tickets are also available. Currently, packages are on sale for Champions Grove, the gaming event that I run every year at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio. Come stay at the castle in one of the storybook village cabins or in Huntsman's Hollow Cabins spend Memorial Day weekend with me and a bunch of other talented game hosts running all kinds of different games for folks. There's Ravenwood Castle has an over 150 game board game library that you can pull games from and play games with friends or new friends in the great hall. We also have events like minifigure painting classes, improv classes. We've done karaoke before.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do they have seen it? Seinfeld Edition?

[Travis McElroy]

Probably. They have the TAS board game.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So there you go.

[Justin McElroy]

The Seinfeld Edition.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's the Tasbor game of Scenic Seinfeld editions. So go to www.championsgrove.com to find those packages. I think all we have left are four person packages, so don't wait. We're well over halfway sold at this point. So go check that out www.championsgrove.com and come see us in Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio this Memorial Day or you know, in 2026 Memorial Day weekend.

[Griffin McElroy]

I am so excited about the new merch we have up in the merch store [e-mail] we have got for the old heads a poster for Til Death Do Us Blart designed by Jack T. Sherry. It is really. It's one of my favorite sort of deathblart inspired designs that I've ever seen. Also get in the spirit of the Honda days with the 2025 Candle Nights poster and ornament designed by Scott Haught. All of that stuff is [e-mail] and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Native American Aid which addresses immediate needs for tribes experiencing disasters, emergency food shortages and preventative healthcare needs.

[Travis McElroy]

Excellent. Griffin, why don't you read the Fear this week?

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, I'll do that. This year I will be faster than my fear of the Kool Aid man busting through my bedroom wall while my wife and I are being intimate.

[Count Donut]

Oh yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

This has been My Brother.

[Justin McElroy]

My Brother May Kiss yous dad Square on the Lip.

[Travis McElroy]

My Life.

[Musical Guest or Background Vocalist]

It'S better it's better with you My Life, it's better it's better with you Is it true? It's better it's better with you My.

[Griffin McElroy]

Life.

[Justin McElroy]

It's Better.

[Count Donut]

Maximum Fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

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