MBMBaM 792: They're Not Drunk, They're Just Fighting

Summary

MBMBaM 792: They're Not Drunk, They're Just Fighting

Date: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Justin McElroy, Travis McElroy, Griffin McElroy

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of "My Brother, My Brother and Me," the McElroy brothers dive into topics ranging from Shakespeare’s confusing naming conventions (and the new "Hamnet" movie), to surreal workplace dilemmas, gastrointestinal emergencies in therapy, the power dynamics of student-teacher barbershop interactions, and the wildest fast-food marketing stunts to close out the year. As always, their advice is a blend of absurdist riffing, heartfelt candor, and unexpected digressions.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Hamnet Watch: The Shakespeare Name Game

Starts: 01:25

• The brothers open by reacting to the film "Hamnet," a portrayal of Shakespeare’s son.

• Griffin is amused that Shakespeare named his son Hamnet, then wrote "Hamlet" about “a real wiener.”

  • “Imagine if dad wrote a story about someone named Groffon… a real wiener who complained all the time and killed a man.” (Travis, 02:46)

• They muse on how wild it is for Shakespeare to nearly name his tragic hero after his own child and riff on how naming traditions would sound in a modern-day context (e.g., Stan Lee naming his kid “Spider Man”).

• The conversation derails into whether “Hamnet” and “Hamlet” were interchangeable names in Renaissance England, with Griffin threatening to kick Shakespeare’s ass if he appears in the movie—classic MBMBaM energy.

  Memorable Quote:
  “If I do see Shakespeare on a screen, fictionalized, being played by an actor, the real guy, whatever, I will go in there and kick his ass.”
  — Griffin (07:12)

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2. Disc Golf Dilemmas on Military Bases

Starts: 09:02

• A listener asks about the etiquette and optics of playing disc golf on military bases after serious meetings.

• The brothers riff on the unlikely but seemingly large overlap between defense contractors and disc golf enthusiasts.

• Travis imagines a scenario where disc golf is colossally entwined with military exercises, including shooting bazookas and blowing up discs.

• They turn the topic into a broader tangent about “aspirational” activities (pool tables, disc golf courses) installed in workplaces that rarely get used.

• Justin draws an analogy between disc golf on a base and breaking out pizza rolls at a holiday party—a metaphor that Travis takes a bit too literally.

  Memorable Exchange:
  “If you’re out there, fucking Tony Stark… you turn around and Daisy Tron.”
  — Griffin (09:59)
  “Especially if you yell ‘pull!’ and the bazooka goes off. Boom.”
  — Travis (10:29)

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3. IBS and Therapeutic Boundaries: The ‘Shitty Therapist’ Conundrum

Starts: 15:25

• A therapist asks how to manage coffee-induced IBS during sessions.

• Travis suggests the idea of an in-office bathroom or even a portapotty disguised as a TARDIS—complete with time travel noises to mask the sounds.

• Griffin recommends using a large singing bowl as a distraction/gong—just enough time to “blast off and get back.”

• The bit gets increasingly absurd, suggesting swapping in a lookalike therapist, inventing poop-inducing hypnosis, and framing synchronized bathroom breaks as a technique.

  Notable Quotes:
  “If you got a big enough singing bowl… you boang, that thing’s gonna be going for, like, four or five minutes, which should be enough time for you to get next door, blast off, and get back.”
  — Griffin (17:21)

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4. Student Barber: Navigating Awkward Power Dynamics

Starts: 22:15

• A high school teacher who cut his own hair is offered a business card by his student, who’s a barber.

• The brothers unpack the layered power dynamic: the teacher wields academic authority, but in the barber chair, the student holds the scissors (and the fate of the teacher’s hair).

• Concerns arise over small talk, the possibility of barter ("is this a favor or paid service?"), and the ominousness of wordless business cards.

• They riff on the idea of the student being a Kingsman/Squid Game-style secret agent running a clandestine barbershop.

  Quote:
  “In the classroom, you’re in charge. In the barber chair, they’re in charge. And that’s complicated.”
  — Griffin (23:44)

• Justin cautions against turning to technology to bridge the conversational gap: “Silence is a covenant… to break it is to break a covenant.”
  — Justin (26:09)

• Travis confesses to breaking norms by listening to AirPods during haircuts, much to Justin’s horror.

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5. Munch Squad: Buffalo Wild Wings’ Christmas Campaign

Starts: 35:29

• Justin brings the latest fast food marketing madness: Buffalo Wild Wings’ debut holiday ad campaign, featuring a Rankin-Bass-style stop-motion buffalo and a “Pick Six” meal.

• The brothers watch and dissect the ad, calling out its bizarre tone (“It’s a jolly miracle”) and the unsettling “fuzzy” food animation.

• They mock the idea of a "blind box" of felt ornaments (possible prizes: Santa swearing, a reindeer fight) offered only to their most “loyal” fans for $20—lampooning the very concept of such loyalty.

• The segment spirals into a bit about going bankrupt buying blind boxes just to get the rare “cursing Santa” ornament, treating it as if it’s a high-stakes collectible.

  Quote:
  “The blind boxes are our way of saying thank you to our loyal fans with something special. …Give me 20 bucks for a felt chicken wing.”
  — Justin (46:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If I do see Shakespeare on a screen … I will go in there and kick his ass.”
  — Griffin (07:12)
• “Cut my hair in two pieces, this is a YouTube short.”
  — Travis (27:55)
• “Silence is a covenant… to break it is to break a covenant.”
  — Justin (26:09)
• “Each blind box features a felt ornament that brings the campaign to life... scene-driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa mid-swear.”
  — Justin reading the Buffalo Wild Wings press release (44:28)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Hamnet Watch: 01:25 – 09:02
• Disc Golf on Bases: 09:02 – 15:25
• Therapist IBS Conundrum: 15:25 – 22:15
• Student Barber: 22:15 – 35:29
• Munch Squad – Buffalo Wild Wings: 35:29 – 50:20

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The brothers maintain their signature blend of goofball humor, surreal analogies, tangents, and affectionate ribbing. The episode is high-energy, fast-paced, and consistently self-aware—skewering both themselves and ridiculous societal norms. When practical advice does peek through, it’s often buried inside bits that turn the absurdity up to 11.

A can’t-miss episode for fans who appreciate the McElroy style—full of relatable anxieties re-imagined as comedic set pieces and underpinned by genuine brotherly support.

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Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

[Justin McElroy]

Also, this show isn't for kids, which.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mention only so the babies out.

[Justin McElroy]

There will know how cool they are for listening.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, you cool baby?

[Theme Song Singer]

It's the start.

Of something beautiful A.

[Griffin McElroy]

Small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into.

[Theme Song Singer]

A precious friends.

I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life.

It feels like.

It's better it's better with you My life ah.

It'S better it's better with you this is true.

It'S better it's better with two.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up Trav Nation? It's me, your middle brother, Travis. Big dog, wolf of room. Vroom. McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, Travnation? It's me, your sweet baby boy. 3930, meeting Luminaire Griffin Macro. And.

Guys, check the Chiron, check the newspapers.

[Justin McElroy]

Chiron.

[Griffin McElroy]

Check the. There's a Chiron at the bottom of the screen right now. It says. Check it out. And it says Hamnet. It says Hamnet. Watch. And this is a new movie out in theaters and it's called Hamnet. And Hamnet is about the son of.

Professional playwright Bill Shakespeare had a son and named his son Hamnet. And so this movie is called Hamnet. And it's a real guy. His name was Hamnet Shakespeare. And I.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait, that's a real guy?

[Griffin McElroy]

I thought I knew a lot about this fucking dude. Cause like, I've been in his sh. Before.

[Justin McElroy]

Katsuki, speak.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hands for me fucking in there.

[Justin McElroy]

I thought I knew he still got it.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought I got it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks, man. I don't. I knew everything about this old Victorian man or whatever. Way before that Dark Ages, he had a son.

[Travis McElroy]

Cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

First of all, and he named him Hamnet, which is also cool because he also wrote a play and called it Hamlet.

[Travis McElroy]

Now hold on.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's awesome.

[Travis McElroy]

This is what we need to talk about, Griffin, because I've known this for a while and the thing is that blows my mind. Imagine. So Hamlet is a real wiener who murders people and like all this stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Then Shakespeare's son becomes a kill. Like kills him.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, no, that's Hamlet. Imagine if dad wrote a story about someone named Groffon. Who was a real wiener, who complained all the time and was just like, oh. And like, killed a man.

[Griffin McElroy]

I haven't seen the movie. And this is a. This is a Hamnet watch. Only sort of conceptually because it looks so boring, but it's. He had the son first called the son Hamnet and then wrote a play about a real piece of shit and was like, I'll call him something that sounds a lot like my son's name and not the other way around.

[Travis McElroy]

I believe so, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Actually, historically, how it happened, from what I understand, he wrote Hamlet. And then Anne Hathaway gave birth to their first child. And she says, bill Shakespeare, tell me true now. What is. And she was holding the baby up. She's like, bill Shakespeare, tell me true now.

[Griffin McElroy]

And she was shorn. She was shaved. She did that again. She said, I like that look.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not Anne Hathaway as wife Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

She says, bill Shakespeare, tell me truly now, what's the greatest thing you've ever created? And like, without even thinking, he's like, Hamlet. And she's like, what? And he's like. I said, hamnet. What? I said, hamnet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hamnet. And that's the name of our. That's the boy's name.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, I would like to name, if I may.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a name. It's a family name.

[Justin McElroy]

I've been playing privately for a while now. Hamnet.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a family name that I came up with. Cause my father used to catch hams in a net. He was a ham fisherman.

[Griffin McElroy]

And that's real. It would be as if Stan Lee, younger Stan Lee, walks out of the hospital holding his little bundle and joints. Said, everyone, I'd like you to meet Spider Man.

This is Spiderman. And he's my beloved son. I named him after one of my favorite guys. Excelsior.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm drunk. I named him after him. But not really.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, they said that you shouldn't name kids when you're drunk. But I called this one Spider Man. And I put it on the papers and everything.

[Travis McElroy]

I named it close enough to it. That. Very obvious. But for some reason, I changed one letter.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just so fucking wild.

[Travis McElroy]

This is my son, Excelsior.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I haven't. I haven't seen the movie. I assume it's just two hours of a man named Hamnet walking around going.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, can't believe this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man, not again.

[Justin McElroy]

Crazy loves his play.

[Travis McElroy]

I believe it's pronounced Hamlet. No, yeah, no, I get that. I get that a lot. But dad put an N in there. Because he's a wordsmith or some fuck. I don't know, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

God bless you.

[Justin McElroy]

Play from Something Rotten. Trav, what's the name of the fake show? And Something Rotten?

[Theme Song Singer]

I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

Omelette.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm kind of a John.

[Justin McElroy]

Omelette the musical. Oh, it's hilarious. Hilarious stuff. I just love Shakespeare.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love Shakespeare and I love all of his stuff. It's cool that this movie came out and it's gonna help old Hamnet. Shakespeare's SEO. Certainly.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think we're gonna get a lot fewer auto corrections. Like, did you mean the great tragedy Hamlet with an L?

[Travis McElroy]

It feels like a sequel to Shakespeare in Love. But that's only based off of the three seconds that I accidentally saw on a TikTok, and I was like, is this Shakespeare in Love? But no, it's Hamnet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Three seconds of Shakespeare in Love or three seconds of Hamnet?

[Travis McElroy]

I saw three seconds of Hamnet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, I thought you were saying, like, I'm too cool for Shakespeare in Love because I used to work at the Great Bards.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, no, no, no. Shakespeare in Love rules. I'm saying there's a moment where Jeffrey Rush says, the show must. And then someone says, go on. And you're like, that's how they came up with it. It's brilliant.

[Griffin McElroy]

That happens in Hamnet.

[Justin McElroy]

No, it happens in something rock, Damn it.

[Travis McElroy]

No, it happens in Shakespeare in Love.

[Griffin McElroy]

They gotta stop making movies about Shakespeare, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

And then Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks are hanging out and they fight a big snake. No, that's Dragnet. Sorry. God damn it. Dragnet, the movie based on the TV show of the similar name. Which one? Sorry, I don't know if Hamnet is about Hamnet or William Shakespeare.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, it's about. Is William Shakespeare in it? Is there an old.

[Griffin McElroy]

He better fucking not be. I'll kick his ass if I see that. Dude, I'm gonna kick his ass.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man. If I. Yeah, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

If you see him on the movie screen, you're gonna kick his ass.

[Justin McElroy]

You're gonna stay seated.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do that. You know how heated I get. And I have, like, real temper problems when it comes to people who've wronged me. And if I do see Shakespeare on a screen, fictionalized, being played by an actor, the real guy, whatever, I will go in there and kick his ass. Purple rose and kairos die.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, I want to say that in your little short vignette of a scene you did there, were you imagining that Griffin has taken his 9 year old and 4 year old son to go see Hamnet.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's. I bet it's okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I bet it's super scene. Both scene and vignette were very generous there, Trav. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Yeah, it was in that. Guys, I'll be honest with you. From the moment. From the moment you said Hamnet, I have been imagining an animated film about a pig. Shakespeare.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, like spider ham.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Nothing you're saying is erasing my pig Hamnet from my mind. It's just there.

[Travis McElroy]

I love Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

So like in my mind he was saying Hamnet, starring Seth Rogen as Hamnet. You know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

Like I was in your mind. They wanted to make an animated film about Shakespeare and they took the name Hamlet and they said, no, no, no, we gotta funny it up, Hamnet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. So the movie apparently. Okay, guys, the movie starts. A written prologue states that in Stratford Renaissance England, Hamnet and Hamlet were considered the same name. I. I imagine this is like a return of Emperor Palpatine sort of crawl, like, hey, listen up, you funny. Hey, Chuckle fucks. Before you guys start busting on your podcast, you should know that they used to say these names pretty much the same way.

[Travis McElroy]

Was Hamnet a nickname for Hamlet?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, dude. Sometimes they would just swap sounds around. That's why he came up with so many goddamn words. He's a great bard, but I'll kick his ass if I do.

[Travis McElroy]

See, I know Griffin. I get it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man. I work in the defense industry and routinely have to travel to military bases for my work. I'm also an avid disc golfer and love playing new courses. A surprising number of what?

[Griffin McElroy]

Just. That's awesome that those two things are true. But that's awesome.

[Justin McElroy]

It's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

I bet that overlap is bigger than you think.

[Griffin McElroy]

You think so? Between disc golf and the military defense contractors.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you have to travel a lot. I bet you want like any common ground, right? For people that travel a lot. I bet just like having something where you can bond with people.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm also a lot of things that fly through the air. A lot about trajectory, a lot about UFOs.

[Justin McElroy]

A lot of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. Yeah. Shorts. You can wear shorts.

[Justin McElroy]

A pricey number of bases have disc golf courses on base, often right in the middle of everything, which presents a dilemma. Well, how do I go out and rip discs after having these serious military meetings? That's from desperate to disc in Orlando.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't understand why this is a problem and not an incredible opportunity. Because if you're out there fucking Tony Stark. And you're selling huge bazookas or whatever it is. I'm assuming that you do. I just assume it's huge bazookas or huge bazongas. Huge bazongas. Huge bazookas. And you say Jason Manzuka. And someone says, yeah, you're ripping zookas out there. And people are like, how do I know I'm getting a good deal on these 20 bazookas you're selling me. And then you turn around and fucking Daisy Tron.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Especially if you yell pull.

[Justin McElroy]

Pull.

[Travis McElroy]

And you do it. And then the bazooka goes off. Boom.

[Justin McElroy]

Hits that disc, you say pull. At a 10 foot tall, Jason Manzoukas launches a clay pigeon into the air. Hell yeah, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And you hit it with your disk and a clay pigeon explodes. And you're like, now imagine if that was a bazooka.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

You yeet your disc up into the sky and someone blasts it with one of these new ski. And someone shoots a bazooka. Blows up a disc. And then they say, hell yeah, these are good bazookas. And you say, what the fuck, man? That was on pace for an ace. It's been so long. I can't believe you blew up my disc. Foul.

[Justin McElroy]

First of all, I don't love the idea that someone with this serious of a job is aware of us. And I have tried to be pretty firm about that. That if you do have a real profession or something serious like that, we would prefer you find your entertainment from more erudite sources. I don't like the idea that I'm influencing anyone of import. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Even subconsciously.

[Griffin McElroy]

Email us. Tell us that you have a ding dong job. Yes, please. I make my own bowling balls and sell them on Etsy, like that kind of stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

Secondly, what's confusing to me about this situation is if you went to here and you started playing disc golf, what if someone else also started doing that and then they wanted to talk to you about it and talking about how you were doing it and comparing it to the way they were doing it.

[Travis McElroy]

If you.

[Justin McElroy]

If that's a possibility. How do you even go on the boat base to begin with?

[Travis McElroy]

I assume they're not playing disc golf on top of like an aircraft carrier. Because that would lead to a lot of lost discs.

[Griffin McElroy]

A lot of discs floating 3D printers these days.

What does that mean? Finish. No, finish that sentence.

[Travis McElroy]

You can 3D printer.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, I want Justin defend. No. I can't believe you fucking bailed him out.

[Justin McElroy]

He was whipping a new disc. You Pop print a new disc.

[Travis McElroy]

He's my brother in print, Griffin. I gotta back him up.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know you gotta support a brother.

[Justin McElroy]

Just cause you're not a guy at Philly. You don't have to come and rain on our parade.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn it. You know, filament was the only other 3D printer word I could think of.

[Justin McElroy]

I am a PLA pal.

[Travis McElroy]

I also want to say this. If they put that thing square in the middle of the base, they're so excited when people are using it. You see that sometimes where there's like an aspirational pool table that someone has put in, like an office or something, and they're like, everyone's going to use this. And then people are, like, doing their jobs. Like, you would see that like in a firehouse, right? Oh, yeah, there's a fire station. We put a pool table in here, and they can relax and do it. And they don't want to do that.

[Justin McElroy]

They want to say, it's like when you're hosting a holiday party and you take out a tray of appetizers that you're very proud of and set them down, and you expect the gravitational pull of the table. Like, the whole mood should shift. It's weird that people keep talking.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

You kind of want there to be like, hush, silence, slowly turn. Those are pizza rolls. You know, like that you want the moment. Ooh, cool party.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool party.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm kind of hungry now.

[Travis McElroy]

Especially if you bust those out in the middle. Like, that's a good way to get over a lull or an argument. Oh, no, a politics argument is broken out. But guess what? I have pizza rolls.

[Justin McElroy]

No. Okay. You know, Travis. No, we're not talking about pizza rolls, man. We're talking about disc golf. It was a metaphor, man. I don't know why you're still talking about pizza rolls.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're really hung up on the metaphor of pizza rolls.

[Travis McElroy]

I do love the idea of, like, you're negotiating or whatever you're talking. It gets heated and you're like, you know what?

[Justin McElroy]

Let's disco.

[Travis McElroy]

I think things are getting a little heated. Let's take just like a quick 45 minutes to an hour. I don't know how long around disc.

[Justin McElroy]

Golf takes first person to call it Frisbee or the ship or the base.

[Travis McElroy]

And then will much like the disc boat.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ship, base, whatever it may be. Justin really wants there to be a ship. And then Dustin's, like, crazy about this ship that he imagined.

[Travis McElroy]

Just like a Frisbee.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm going back through the Question to see where aircraft carrier.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I finish my jack?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, please finish, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Just like a disc will circle back. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, that's it. Trav, can you do the joke again like a Frisbee? Because I missed it.

[Travis McElroy]

Did it go over your head?

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, fuck, dude. Dang. Damn.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm operating on four hours of sleep.

[Justin McElroy]

Four hours of sleep and what is the temperature? I didn't have. What is your temperature right now?

[Griffin McElroy]

What's the current temperature?

[Travis McElroy]

It's 69 degrees in my house. My house was without power for 20, 25 hours while it was under 32 degrees outside. And I'm bringing the heat myself.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you are, dude. You're an internal Confucian engine.

[Travis McElroy]

My rod function engine.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm having a great time.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin's actually lowering his stock in his effort to compliment you. Griffin's getting worse.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sometimes I just.

[Travis McElroy]

I love that support. This is not. This is the opposite of a zero sum game. This is a sums up game.

[Justin McElroy]

I am a therapist and I also have ibs. Coffee makes it worse, but I need it to stay awake each day. This presents an obvious conundrum. Often I find myself in the middle of a session sipping on my ice mocha. When my tummy begins to grumble audibly. I start sweating and let's just say the call of nature becomes undeniable. Up till now, I've been white knuckling it through the rest of the session when this happens, but it definitely detracts from my focus. Thus, how can I maintain the quality of my services and also heed my bowels? And I don't want to read the name of this one, but I will. Am I a shitty therapist?

[Travis McElroy]

Do you have an in office bathroom? Like an attached bathroom to your office?

[Griffin McElroy]

I was wondering how in office it would need to be for it to.

[Travis McElroy]

Sit in the center. Originally, the thing I did picture was a porta Potty, but I think that that might be. I mean, okay, yeah, that's cool. It might still work in the idea because after they tell you something, you're going to say, hmm, that's. Oh, that's a toughie. I'm going to have to step into my thinking chamber and then like, you decorate. But if it's a porta Potty, you could make it like a tardis and you'll be like, I'm gonna go back to your childhood and observe how your parents treated you. I'll be right back. And then you're gonna play some loud TARDIS noises to cover tardis. What's about to Happen.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin's doing the same thing. We're the wind beneath your wings this episode. Tran.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm loving.

[Justin McElroy]

What do you pull into to get a tire changed?

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you. You could get. If you got a big enough singing bowl, you could say, let's try a grounding technique. Close your eyes. No, I'm sorry. You're not shitting into the singing bowl.

[Justin McElroy]

Has to be that you could shit in it while they rub it, not know what's up. That's a big bowl, brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I'm pretty sure the singing bowl needs to have its kind of form uninterrupted entirely. You're not supposed to get those things.

[Travis McElroy]

One way or the other.

[Justin McElroy]

It's gonna.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's gonna throw it off. Yeah, I'm trying to hit that God tone, and I'm trying to vibe. Not that browners, not the brow. No, I'm saying with a big enough singing bowl, you boang. That thing's gonna be going for, like, four or five minutes, which should be enough time for you to get next door, blast off, and get back.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, if this thing starts to slow down, you just gotta clang in again, all right? Or your meditation's gonna be all fucked up, and you'll have ruined it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man. If I had a singing bowl as part of my professional work environment and skill set, I would never let anybody touch that shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

My kids would always be coming in, like, let me hit the singing bowl. And it's like, you guys don't even understand how to get the right stuff out of this.

[Justin McElroy]

Wouldn't it be kick ass if part of podcasting was, like, just once in a while, you're like, hold on, Bong. Just hit the singing bowl, and everybody just had to shut the fuck up. Just, like, let the ball do it. But the bolts thing, I don't know if you clang a singing. Is that what you do with a singing bowl? Just fucking whack it with a mallet or something?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think you're. I don't think you're supposed to. I don't think you're getting gong action out of it.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it depends on what kind of music you're playing. That's true, Trav. You know, if it's scream metal that you wanted to sing, I think you could do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Could you incorporate? Maybe get another, like, therapist in the practice that you're, like, you can trade these kinds of favors with, and you'd, like, slip them a text, and then they pop in and they're like, hey, it seems like this guy is pretty well sorted. We've got a real. This guy's childhood was real messed up. I'm gonna need you to come over here for like 5 or 10 minutes and help me through this one. And maybe bring a book for me personally.

[Justin McElroy]

Personally, Trav. Maybe the second therapist looks a lot like you and you can get them to look away for a moment and.

[Travis McElroy]

They travel there in the tortoise. And it's you from the future.

[Griffin McElroy]

You guys. You guys.

[Travis McElroy]

When you've already pooped.

[Griffin McElroy]

You guys always bring magic into this. If we're gonna bring magic into this. Who?

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin? The doctor isn't magic. It's science based.

[Griffin McElroy]

Paula.

[Justin McElroy]

For trying to touch Oz. Over here, pal.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, well, the doctor gave me a special machine, and when I press it, it makes the poop leave my body.

[Justin McElroy]

With teleportation is a therapist that looks like you in the building in case you gotta go do something.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's all that you teleport? That you teleport in fictionally.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, you're gonna have them lay on the couch like I assume all therapists do, but I've never been asked to. And I should probably find a new therapist because I've never gotten to lay on the couch and talk. And as they're talking, you're gonna slowly turn the lights down to a very soothing level. You're gonna play some white noise and turn that up a little bit. You're gonna maybe, like, pump some aromatherapy in the air. Wait till they fall asleep.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good night.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you can go poop.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sleepy time. Here's that 432Hz surf brother.

[Justin McElroy]

If you can somehow get the other person to poop.

Then you with Scarecrow do that. Pooping will somehow be such a supportive ass.

A huge I'm there for you. I too, will go to the bathroom. Let's both take a bath.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm very impressed.

[Justin McElroy]

You've got to get the other person.

[Travis McElroy]

To want to use the bathroom more than you.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what the water feature's there for, right? If somebody's going to want to pee, it's going to be the patient.

[Travis McElroy]

I actually have a set of stalls where we can continue this conversation.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let it out.

[Justin McElroy]

Those are toxins. I'm a bad therapist. Those are toxins.

[Travis McElroy]

Let them out. Those are toxins. I don't know how any of this works.

[Griffin McElroy]

Here to help me is a professional illusionist, Darren Brown. He's just gonna say some words that are gonna make some things start happening inside your body.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

[Travis McElroy]

But it Was all your idea.

[Griffin McElroy]

But. It was all your idea. But as long as you're going, I might dip out too.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoops. I also listened to Darren Brown.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, no. Uh. Oh. Damn it. He got me again. How annoying must it be to be at the mall walking and talking with your friends, and then all of a sudden you just put both your hands up in the air, and you look around and sure enough, Darren Brown's up there doing one of his specials. And he's like, I got you all fucking again, you idiots. God, it's easy to make you ants do whatever the fuck I want.

[Travis McElroy]

This is a social experiment or whatever.

[Justin McElroy]

You worked for Darren Brown, like, around, like, pay negotiation time. You're like, darren, I think I deserve a little bit more. And he's like, look behind you. And then you look and you turn back and he's gone. You know, it convinces you that you actually didn't need a pay raise the whole time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

He's like, how much do you think you're worth? And you're like, I don't know. A dollar less an hour that I'm making now. What the fuck?

[Griffin McElroy]

What the fuck? How did you. Why did I say that? Don't even sweat the cost of living, boss. Why are my hands up over my head?

[Justin McElroy]

Stop.

[Griffin McElroy]

Stop it, Darren. God damn it.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm a high school teacher. Earlier this semester, I elected to cut my own hair. It wasn't that bad, man. But one of my students runs a barbershop business out of his garage, and when he saw my hair, he wordlessly placed his business card on my desk.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome. That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Now it's time for a cut again. And after seeing his portfolio, I agreed to schedule an appointment with him. Great. However, my partner recently mentioned that for the duration of his haircut experience, I will have to figure out topics that make good small talk. What do I talk with about a student who is good at hair but who is not particularly high performing in my class? Should I avoid topics related to school? Should I use it as an opportunity to enrich his academic life? That's from overdue in a new do in Omaha.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I just say, I love when this happens where, like, the first two thirds of the question, I'm like, oh, I see what. I see the problem here and what the social. And then you're like. And that didn't bother me at all. But I will have to speak with them. What do I say? And I'm like, I thought this was gonna be about the hair critique.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's Some extraordinary power dynamics at work here, huh? Because you're the teacher and they are the student. Their academic life is. You hold it in your hands, but also in this moment, they're the one sort of holding the keys. And by keys, I mean scissors. I didn't need to put as many metaphors in there as I did.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, you could cut the thread of their fate just as they cut the hair of your head.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Or just to put it simply, in the classroom, you're in charge. In the barber chair, they're in charge. And that's complicated. Don't undersell this situation. This is a toughie. Yeah, it's a tough knot.

[Justin McElroy]

And I guarantee you this student is also having some version of this. We all think connection's a good idea until we're face to face with it. You know, we're staring down the barrel of it, and it's like, well, I have to connect.

[Travis McElroy]

Time to prepare for that. There's also. Oh, my God. There's another thing. Hey, question asker, Let me give you something else to worry about. If this was worthlessly exchanged, there was no talk of cost or price or money exchanged.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, God. Are you going to have to negotiate price, too? Oh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, I thought it was a. I thought it was.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I'm saying that. Are they doing it out of the goodness of their heart, as you're the professor and you needed some help, or are they networking their business?

[Justin McElroy]

Trav, I will say that sounds challenging yet, but not particularly funny. So I think that you are probably right that that is a problem I don't necessarily want to unpack here, Trav.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wanted to explore the bribery route a little bit because it does feel like maybe this is an.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm getting panicky thinking about having to figure out what to pay this kid, and it is not my problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can tell. I can tell that your heart is.

[Travis McElroy]

So let's take that. Rewind it back and go back to. There is something about someone wordlessly handing you anything that feels threatening to me.

[Griffin McElroy]

They should. They should. A business card is one of the most threatening things to hand to someone wordlessly.

[Justin McElroy]

You assume that on the back of it is a number that is either very good or very bad for you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, Correct.

[Justin McElroy]

You know, whatever. It's a phone number of someone that can help you, or it's a number that something costs that you don't have or they'll kill you. Yes, something like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

What if it's like a. What if it's like a cool embossed gold sort of business card with just like a symbol on the front of it. Like some sort of, like, secret symbol with scissors or whatever in it. And then you turn it around and there's just an address.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, shit. So this is. It's like Kingsman.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's like a squid game.

[Travis McElroy]

It's like a squid game. Kingsman.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Kings game. Squidman.

[Justin McElroy]

I feel like we need Nicole Squidman.

[Travis McElroy]

Re.

[Griffin McElroy]

Re.

[Justin McElroy]

Embrace silence. And I think that it's not something that we do a lot on this podcast for obvious reasons. I think being an audio show and everything.

[Travis McElroy]

Let's try it.

[Justin McElroy]

But no. Silence is a covenant. You know what I mean? And I think that we forget sometimes that if you're sitting there thinking what to say and the other person's sitting there thinking what to say, you're agreeing on silence. And to break it is to break a covenant.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe we just embrace. Maybe we just embrace it. Maybe just embrace that covenant of silence.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm gonna say something that I know you guys will disagree with.

[Justin McElroy]

I love that. Travis, don't. It's never stopped.

[Travis McElroy]

I've been out here breaking social norms. When I get my haircut, I say, is it all right if I pop my AirPods in? I pop my AirPods in.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't agree with this.

[Travis McElroy]

And here's the thing.

[Justin McElroy]

You called it exactly, Trav. You called it exactly.

[Travis McElroy]

I am of the opinion that they also don't wanna talk to me. And so this way, I'm letting you.

[Justin McElroy]

That's correct. Now, that is a huge guess, because that's very person dependent. There are people running around that just love to talk to people. I've met them.

[Travis McElroy]

I've been going to the same hairstylist for eight years. We've developed a mutual understanding with one another.

[Griffin McElroy]

They understand. Justin, I can't believe in the same minute that you established that silence is.

[Justin McElroy]

Silence is a covenant that does not need technology to be reinforcing it. Cause that's a barrier. Right? Silence, in that case, is a wall.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm saying, what are you cranking?

[Justin McElroy]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

What are you listening to? What are you listening to in those pods while you're cranking?

[Travis McElroy]

Usually videos dissecting. Well, maybe videos dissecting horror video games that I'll never play. Yeah, they're too scary for me to play, But I do want to know what happens in them.

[Griffin McElroy]

You hand them. Hey, Travis, you should try hand them a bud next time. Hand him a bud.

[Justin McElroy]

Pop a bud in there and have a share.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought you meant like a Budweiser.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I mean, crack a buddy if you want. Like, pop out. Pop out a bud from one of your ears. Pop it in there. She'd be like, you know about fucking Freddy Fazbear. Cut my hair.

[Travis McElroy]

Cut my hair in two pieces. This is a YouTube short.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's go. The Money Zone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, don't hide behind your microphone after fucking nailing a landing like that, dude, do not get sheepish when you smash. It's guilt.

[Justin McElroy]

I can tell it's guilt. He's. He feels guilty about the extent which he's running the show today.

[Travis McElroy]

I was being impished.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you're. You're Allen Iverson hanging from the rim with a coquettish little grin on your face. You just got nasty on it, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

Now we are actually gonna go to the Money Zone.

It's better.

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better.

[Justin McElroy]

Movie.

Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I tell you my problem? I've been having.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, just one.

[Travis McElroy]

No, just the main one that I'm thinking about right now that's really boiling my noodle.

[Justin McElroy]

Ew.

[Travis McElroy]

I signed up for so many random apps and websites and services and everything.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm losing a million and a half dollars a year.

[Justin McElroy]

Whoa.

[Griffin McElroy]

A year?

[Travis McElroy]

A year.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. So this number you made up is dramatic, but it's also, at the same time, like, kind of conservative. I thought you were going to go silly, like, 50. 50 million a week or something, but, like a million and a half a year is just on the border of believable based on what I know about your financial responsibility.

[Travis McElroy]

I made it. Huh? Yeah, I made it a. There's a number I made up because there was.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, Rocket Money is going to save your life, buddy. You got to get on it. Rocket Money is an app. It's a personal finance app, and it does a bunch of stuff. I would say the thing that is most frequently useful for me, and it sounds like for Travis, is that it will go through your spending and it will find subscriptions you forgot about.

Maybe you pay for twice and you forgot about it. And it will help you cancel those, help you lower your bills, help you track your spending so that you can reach your financial goals and grow your savings. It's a really, truly great idea, and it works super great. They've saved users over $2.5 billion, including over 880 million, which is more trav than one and a half in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the apps, premium features.

[Travis McElroy]

That's less, though.

[Griffin McElroy]

That sounds like maybe, though you're gonna be an outlier.

[Travis McElroy]

It sounds like probably an average. Yeah, it's an average.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

So average. So huge is your waste that you might bump that average up a significant amount.

[Travis McElroy]

That would be amazing.

[Griffin McElroy]

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Travis, please. Jesus. I'm worried about you and reach.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm worried about me, too. I was gonna fake my own death, but I'm really bad. Yeah. Rocket Money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you know why? It's expensive.

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck.

[Griffin McElroy]

Instead, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket money. Go to Rocketmoney.com my brother today. That's Rocketmoney.com mybrother today, Rocketmoney.com mybrother I'm.

[Travis McElroy]

Gonna do that instead. I think that that's better.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Cool.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, everybody. Not for jokes. When my house lost power and it was cold outside and my power was out for 25 hours, yes, of course I was worried about my kids and, you know, my wife and I. But we made sure to find an Airbnb we could stay in for the night where we could have our pets there. Because pets are a member of your family. You love them, you want what's best for them. You want to take care of them. And that's not just in emergency situations. That's every day, baby.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's every day. You gotta pamper that little kitty.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I was wondering what you were about to do.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wasn't brave enough.

[Justin McElroy]

Did you see the.

[Travis McElroy]

Did you see the courage fan? I heard.

[Justin McElroy]

I heard your tiptoe, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin had to run to a quick errand, and so it's just me and Trav here, and we shared a moment of fear and vulnerability in that moment when I almost. I said, pamper your. And then I wasn't brave enough to say a different word about the kitty cat. But you do need to take good care of them, and Smalls helps you do that. Gosh, we need to get to saying the name of these businesses.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's true. Smalls cat food is protein packed and made with preservative free ingredients that you'd find in your fridge delivered right to your door. And starting with Smalls is easy. You share your cat's diet, health, food preferences, all that stuff, and they're gonna put together a personalized sampler for your kitty cat so that it can choose the ones that it likes best. And after switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements. And that's a big deal from Smalls Food.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin has been using Smalls for his two precious angels and they like him better. They do like him better. I think that's the main takeaway. Like they look great, their coat is shiny and waxen. But I think the big takeaway is that they just seem to enjoy being around Justin Moore.

[Travis McElroy]

When we would visit, they used to pretty performatively display how much they didn't like they would see us there and they'd be like, hey, watch this. And then they would like cuss him out and like say meek.

[Griffin McElroy]

They'd be like, bitch. And you would know like that they said that to like they did it an inch away from his face. It's undeniable what he did.

[Travis McElroy]

But now they like tolerate him and like occasionally even show him affection.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sometimes they'll get close to his face this time and be like, cool dude. And they'll say at him real close. So I guess, what are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. For a limited time because you're a MBMBAM listener. Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.commybrother one last time. That's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com mybrother smalls pamper that. Do it.

Baby. Kitty. Precious.

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck. You'll get it.

Hello, this is Alden Ford and Mujan.

[Griffin McElroy]

Zofagari, two of the creators of Mission.

[Travis McElroy]

To zyx, your favorite improvised, obsessively sound designed sci fi sitcom here on the Max Fun Network.

[Griffin McElroy]

And the news is we're back with an all new miniseries set in the Zix universe. The young old Derf Chronicles. Yeah, will Derf find his own killer.

[Theme Song Singer]

Before it's too late to find out.

[Griffin McElroy]

How that question could possibly make sense? Well, you just have to to tune in.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we're so excited that episode one is out right now in the Mission to Zix feed.

[Griffin McElroy]

So if you are looking for a little break from your own galaxy, we would love for you to check it out. That's the Young Ol Derf Chronicles search mission to ZYX Zyxx in your podcast.

[Travis McElroy]

App or on maximumfun.org keep it fresh.

Hello Internet. I'm your husband, host Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I'm your wife, host Teresa McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

And this is a promo for Schmanners. It's exciting. Extraordinary etiquette for ordinary occasions. Every week we're going to tell you about a bit of culture, a bit of history, how etiquette still applies in the modern day, all that stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

We also love to do biographies and histories of and, you know, general procedurals how to do etiquette in today's society.

[Travis McElroy]

So come check it out every Friday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mannersh. Manners. Get it?

[Justin McElroy]

Great news, guys. Great, great, great, great, great, great news. Our hero is back. What from? Oh, oh, sorry, I gotta do the intro. I forgot.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a Munch Squad.

I want to Munch Squad.

Welcome to Munch Squad podcast Podcast profiling. The latest ingrace and brand eating. One of our favorite heroes of recent history in fast food advertising is back. You may remember him from the.

Do you suffer from need.

Commercial. He is a giant buffalo with wings.

[Griffin McElroy]

Which is truly huge.

[Travis McElroy]

I can't remember who he works for, though.

[Justin McElroy]

He works for Buff. Yeah, it's weird, huh? No, he works for Buffalo Wild Wings. And they're in a new. A new promo. It's the first ever holiday campaign for BW3's not a brand that you think of necessarily when it comes to the.

[Travis McElroy]

Old time is the theme of it. Is your uncle in town?

[Griffin McElroy]

Probably.

[Justin McElroy]

Please, Dino. This is where. That's where. When we were, I was in Cincinnati filming till death. It was Blart. And afterwards I had to wait for.

Get some food and I had my pal Tim Batt with him and had to take do an American eatery. And where did I choose? That's right. Buffalo Wild.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you go to bdubs?

[Justin McElroy]

It went to Bdubs. Cause that's the American experience right there. No problem.

[Travis McElroy]

It truly is.

[Justin McElroy]

All right. Truly now. So we're gonna watch this.

[Travis McElroy]

If you haven't listened to this year's death blurt, it's great. And the video's up on YouTube. It was an absolute treat.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got to spend some quality time with Tim Batt and guy remotely.

[Justin McElroy]

You ready?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep.

[Buffalo Wild Wings Ad Voice]

And that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list.

Santa, you bad, bad man.

[Travis McElroy]

Ooh.

[Buffalo Wild Wings Ad Voice]

Hey, this Buffalo wild we've picked six is a real jolly miracle. A meal for two for 19.99. Nothing better, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Off my wings, Blitzen. Oh, is widow planter. Can we pause?

[Buffalo Wild Wings Ad Voice]

Hey, knock it off, antler cloud.

[Justin McElroy]

So this is a good time to pause. It is.

[Griffin McElroy]

I will say it's a great time to pause. Cause there's been, like, five things. 1. What's a jolly miracle?

[Justin McElroy]

It's a jolly miracle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Santa says that like it's a thing that any of us have ever thought about before. Like a Christmas. Like a happy Christmas.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it's a minced oath, Griffin. Where maybe he was gonna say It's a fucking miracle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Miracle. Yeah. Jolly is like. Okay, interesting fucking miracle.

[Justin McElroy]

It's also. The entire ad is presented in a Rankin Bass style. So we are being treated to fuzzy burgers, fuzzy wings, and fuzzy Cokes, each more decrepit looking than the last. I really hate looking at these yarn versions of food, guys. It's hitting bad for me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dude, think about the. The mouthfeel of one of those Linton sort of Buffalo wings. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Are we not going to talk about how they start it with the punchline of a joke where Santa says, And that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list. And they were like, yeah, this is. This is Ripple.

[Justin McElroy]

This is Santa for 2025.

[Griffin McElroy]

May we?

[Travis McElroy]

Just a run. Okay?

[Buffalo Wild Wings Ad Voice]

We've got gifts to deliver.

How am I going to fly my sleigh? It's not like there's a flying mythical beast just hanging around with nothing to do. You know I can't fly, right? Oh, come on, Hank. You're scratching my sleigh. I told you I can't fly. I can't do it. My wings are decorative. You have to believe, Hank. Believe.

Oh, I'm doing it, Papa.

[Griffin McElroy]

So he's flying here, Little Hank.

[Buffalo Wild Wings Ad Voice]

He's doing it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, what's happening?

[Buffalo Wild Wings Ad Voice]

I told you I could fly. Happy holidays to all and to all go to Buffalo Wild Wings.

[Justin McElroy]

You heard of it?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't. I don't want to.

[Justin McElroy]

Is there anything visually that you need to make it before we move on? Because, like, that was a lot to take in and it was like. It's surprisingly well executed. I think at least it's adorable.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure. Yeah. From a visual aesthetic standard.

[Justin McElroy]

The thoughts are horrible.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think there's an. The thoughts and ideas are horrible. And there's an inherent sort of failure to communicate that is inherent, I think, to the nature of Buffalo Wild Wings trying to get a hand on the holiday ball. I simply don't think it's your purview and I don't think it's.

[Justin McElroy]

This is their first ever one they're trying to get a leg in. Maybe they're making it a holiday thing, but here's.

[Travis McElroy]

This is the thing, though, Jamie.

There's nothing in this that is specific to Buffalo Wild Wings besides the fact.

[Griffin McElroy]

That they're eating a Buffalo Wild Wings.

[Travis McElroy]

That they're eating a Buffalo Wild Wings. And it's a buffalo with wings. But even that could have been a different buffalo wing.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe this will help. Travis Restaurant.

[Travis McElroy]

There's no other one.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm right there.

[Justin McElroy]

Wingstop, I guess. And Quaker State and lube. Is that it? I'll probably others. It's a good point. Secondly, not ev. Not any other buffalo place has the first ever blind box inspired by the ads, which is available exclusively to Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members.

[Travis McElroy]

The camp surprised by, like, what. What kind of wings are you getting? Is that what you mean? They.

[Justin McElroy]

They say in the. In the release, it says the brand's iconic buffalo with wings is brought into the holiday spotlight in a stop motion short that's styled like a 1950s Christmas special. Definitely. Definitely.

The story opens on Christmas Eve inside of Buffalo Wild Wings. Hold on, I just need to double check this.

Yeah, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Rudolph the red nose reindeer definitely came out in 1964. So, like, I don't know what they're talking about. Hank and Santa share a pick six me for two. And then they describe the ad, which is packed with humor, heart, and unmistakable B dubs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Heart energy.

[Travis McElroy]

Let's touch on heart Stop. Let's come back to heart.

[Justin McElroy]

It's humor, heart, and unmistakable B dubs energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. I will grant you the former. I will say that it made me. There's an energy to this commercial that felt threatening and, like, very masculine. And so I will also grant you that it does have big B dubs energy.

[Travis McElroy]

They also showcase just two people getting randomly drunk before work and getting in a fight. So I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

They're not people. They're reindeer.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it's the heart.

[Travis McElroy]

So it's Justin. Then it's animals getting drunk in a bee in a Buffalo Wild Wings.

[Justin McElroy]

They're not drunk.

[Travis McElroy]

Animals came in and got drunk juice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Listen, those reindeer were fucking faded. And I know that you have trouble sometimes sort of, you know, giving these places the benefit of the doubt, but those. Those two reindeer were, like, fucking zooted out. I mean.

I don't want to see this hairy food.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't blame you. But, like, they got sodas. They clearly have sodas. They're not drunk. They're just fighting because they're dickheads.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, sure. A random fight breaks out between two animals and a Buffalo Wild Wings. And they were like, that's big. Buffalo Wild Wings energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I like this cute Hank, though. I like this fuzzy Hank. He's way less scary than the other guys.

[Justin McElroy]

He almost would have to be. I mean, he would almost have to be. To bring the creative.

[Travis McElroy]

Why does Santa say fuck? I guess is my question.

[Justin McElroy]

I need to read this paragraph. Because it sucks. Please. To bring the creative to life for fans. That's how it starts. Fuck you. Ooh.

I love to hear the creative referred to like a.

[Travis McElroy]

Are Buffalo Wild Wings imagineers?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I love to hear the creative referred to like it's a resour in Warcraft.

[Travis McElroy]

Bring the.

[Justin McElroy]

I've got 200 of the creator fleece Buffalo.

[Travis McElroy]

Put it through the mill.

[Justin McElroy]

Put it through the mill and turn it into content. Buffalo Wild Wings is introducing a limited edition Hank the Halls blind box for $20. Available December 10th exclusively to new and existing Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members. They specify new, existing. Presumably it's not offered to lapsed or banned Buffalo Wild Wings rewards.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you think there's a restaurant on earth that has a longer list of banned individuals than Buffalo Wild Wings do? Buffalo Wild Wings have their own sort of enforcers at the like a sort of TSA face scan that they do before you come in. So thorough is their ban list.

[Justin McElroy]

Each blind box.

[Travis McElroy]

Why is it. Can I also just say Hank the Halls is nothing?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Justin McElroy]

Hank the Halls is nothing. Each blind box features a felt ornament that brings the campaign to life. Starting with the star of the show, the chicken wing ornament fans will also uncover scene driven. God, I hate reading these words. This is really taking a toll on my spirit. Scene driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa midswear Scene scene driven driven from the commercial. This one you just watched turning the spots.

[Travis McElroy]

Grandmama, Grandmama, where did you get this beautiful ornament of Santa swearing? Oh, that's came from AB A Wild Wings blind box. On my first date with your grandfather.

[Griffin McElroy]

I got very lucky with that.

[Justin McElroy]

Blind box fans will also uncover scene driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa midswear turning the spot's funniest moments into holiday decor. Jesus Christ.

[Griffin McElroy]

You guys are absolutely glazing this cover.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, Gerson, that's because it's a cheeky reminder. The Buffalo Wild Wings offers more than free food perks. It delivers more memorable rewards and unexpected delights for its most loyal fans.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, okay, this is where I want to. I want to dive into this for a moment.

[Griffin McElroy]

Take a breath, Juice. Catch your breath because I can tell this is really hurting you when they.

[Travis McElroy]

Talk about Buffalo Wild Wings. Most loyal fans. I believe that there are people who enjoy eating at Buffalo Wild Wings. And I'm not saying that's not true. But when you tell me there are people who are fans of Buffalo Wild Wings to the degree that they will not only get ornaments based on a commercial they've just seen.

[Griffin McElroy]

The creative. Travis, please.

[Travis McElroy]

The creative. But also engage in a blind box roulette scenario.

[Griffin McElroy]

Blind box is the most insulting.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, can I. Can I tell you the quote? Listen, listen.

[Griffin McElroy]

Here's.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's a quote. Quote.

Hector Halls marks Buffalo Wild Wings first ever holiday campaign and search to remind our fans that the holidays are a great time to come into our restaurants with friends and family, says Tristan Moline, chief marketing officer at Buffalo Wild Wings. The blind boxes are. The $20.

Blind boxes are our way of saying thank you to our loyal fans with something special. It's not thanks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Give me 20 bucks. Thanks.

[Justin McElroy]

Give me 20 bucks for a felt chicken wing.

[Travis McElroy]

D. Because it beats that you might already have. That you might already have.

[Justin McElroy]

You've got random.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're trying to get Santa swearing because it's so irreverent and funny. South park humor. You keep pulling chicken wings and reindeer fights, you gullible idiot.

[Justin McElroy]

At BDubs, we're.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

At BDubs, we're all about celebrating all your social occasions with our unique experience and delicious food and drinks. Hey, Unique weddings, christenings, funeral. Unique, unique experience. That's really interesting. Buffalo Wild Wings. Tell me why you had to shut down the Buffalo Wild Wings at the Huntington Mall and reopen as a Buffalo Wild Wings to go downtown. What a great experience that you don't even want me to have.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Sucks.

[Justin McElroy]

While Hank is saving Christmas, guests can pick. Sorry. While Hank is saving Christmas, guests can save big with. This is a real. This is where it starts to get into, like, are they trying to make people insane? Guests can save big with Buffalo wild wings. Pick Six meal. It's a Pick Six meal for two starting at 1999. With the Pick Six, guests can choose two entrees, two sides, and two fountain drinks, all for 1999. Options include 10 boneless wings, yellow American cheeseburger, or three crispy chip and chicken dippers paired with fan favorite fries, tots or wedges. Want to upgrade? You could swap in Buffalo chicken, ranch or beer cheese cheesesteak for just $3 more. $20. Guys, if that number rings a bell.

[Griffin McElroy]

For you, it should, because it's what.

[Justin McElroy]

They'Re charging you to get a filled.

[Griffin McElroy]

Chicken wing, maybe in a box from a commercial. That's if I say, here's $40, head to Buffalo Wild Wings.

[Justin McElroy]

Bring me 300 chicken wings or.

[Griffin McElroy]

Two reindeer fights.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, honey, I know times have been real tight this holiday season and our food budget is a little low, but I've made an amazing investment.

[Justin McElroy]

Victoria.

This is an investment in the accrual value of collectibles.

[Travis McElroy]

Victoria. Now, I haven't opened the blind box yet you can either but take energy off of it. Tells me it's cursing Santa.

[Justin McElroy]

Chicken wings tonight once or in 20 years eat chicken wings every night of your life.

[Griffin McElroy]

Derek, you've bought 200 boxes. I know. The cussing Santa is the chase ornament. I've got a system, Victoria.

[Travis McElroy]

As I keep saying, many of the.

[Justin McElroy]

Boxes are just loaded with discarded bones. I don't know how their system is so faulty. They should be looking in the boxes even if nobody else is.

[Griffin McElroy]

You have to go in bulk. Did you not see Jerry and Marge go large? If you buy 200 boxes, you get at least four cursing Santas. That's where the money is.

[Travis McElroy]

I've been watching all of the YouTube content creators as they've gone through their blind box system. This is the meta darling. Don't you understand?

[Justin McElroy]

Do you not want to watch reindeer fighting on the tree every year?

[Griffin McElroy]

God, what a dope tree. If you show up and it's just covered in little tiny reindeer fights. From the BW3's collection. Yeah, I don't know, man. They must have just stumped them into one big pallet then. That was just the day I got there. Goddamn.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, thank you so much to everybody who came out to the Candle Nights, the live version. But good news, if you weren't there, it's not too late. You can go to bit lycamlights2025 and still, still check it totally out. It'll be streaming it December 19th at 9pm and we're going to be in the chat, correct? Right. So, yes, you can still get your streaming ticket for that, and that's gonna be a lot of fun, so make sure you check it out.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's gonna be on demand December 19th through January 4th, so you'll have plenty of time to catch it.

[Griffin McElroy]

And also, all the proceeds still go to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that link again. Bit lycannelknights2025. Your support is really, really, really appreciated. So thank you so much in advance.

[Travis McElroy]

Over at the Merch store, we've got Dice Tray and Dice Tray Bundle with balanced Dice and the 2025 Candle Knights poster and Candle Knights ornament by Scott Hodge. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Harmony House. So head over to macromerch.com, check that out. Get some gifts, I guess, for people or for yourself. You're worth it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep. Hey, do we have a. Oh, thanks to Montagne for the use for a theme song. My Life Is Better with youh. I'm so grateful that we're able to, you know, use that track as the introduction and outroduction of our show because the energy and the vibe is just so choice. We've got a fear here, final fear to take us out of the episode and I'd like to read it.

[Travis McElroy]

Go for it.

[Griffin McElroy]

This year I want to be faster than my fear that there's a second cheese packet in the Mac and cheese box.

[Travis McElroy]

You pull the one out and you don't want to dump it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

My name is Doug McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

This has been my brother, my brother brother me Kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better, it's better with you My.

[Justin McElroy]

Life.

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better it's better with you Cuz it's true you are.

It'S better, it's better with two.

[Griffin McElroy]

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