My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
Episode 459: We’re Both Skiing
Release Date: December 19, 2024
Introduction: Vacation Mode and Special Episode
Timestamp: [00:01 - 02:24]
In this special episode of My Favorite Murder (MFM), hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark announce they are taking a short vacation. Georgia humorously states, “Are you skiing?” (02:04) to which Karen replies, “Yeah, we're both skiing on the same set of skis. That's how we go on vacation” (02:09). Despite their absence, they assure listeners that the podcast remains active with a brief episode featuring one story each. Additionally, they highlight their holiday tradition of making donations, pledging $10,000 to The Trevor Project to support LGBTQ+ youth in crisis (02:41).
Supporting Exactly Right Media and Promotions
Timestamp: [02:24 - 06:51]
Karen and Georgia take a moment to share updates about the Exactly Right Media network, promoting gift cards and encouraging listeners to follow their favorite shows like Buried Bones and This Podcast Will Kill You on social media (03:20). They also urge listeners to rate and review the podcast, likening it to receiving a "little Christmas Hanukkah present" for the hosts and their network (03:58). The conversation briefly shifts to promoting Talkspace, Squarespace, Pretty Litter, and Quince, offering discount codes and highlighting the benefits of these services (04:18 - 29:43).
Main Story: The Untold Tragedy of Sandra Birchmore
Timestamp: [06:51 - 39:14]
Background and Early Life
Timestamp: [06:51 - 10:01]
Georgia introduces a deeply tragic and ongoing case from Boston, detailing the life and untimely death of Sandra Birchmore, a 23-year-old from Canton, Massachusetts. Sandra, who struggled both academically and socially, found solace in the Police Explorers Program—a youth initiative run by the Boy Scouts aimed at mentoring children interested in law enforcement. “Sandra had begged to join this program... and it seems like she really flourished by finally getting to do this” (09:58).
Relationship with Matthew Farwell
Timestamp: [10:01 - 26:57]
Sandra forms a troubling relationship with Matthew Farwell, a 35-year-old police detective significantly older than her. Initially supportive, Matthew’s interest turns predatory as federal prosecutors allege he began grooming and sexually abusing Sandra when she was just 15 (20:33). Their relationship intensifies over the years, culminating in Sandra’s pregnancy announcement in late 2020. Randall notes, “Sandra’s two aunts move in with her to support her, but their relationship is kind of tense and strained” (09:54), highlighting her vulnerable state.
Mysterious Death and Initial Investigation
Timestamp: [26:57 - 32:21]
On February 4, 2021, Sandra fails to show up for work, leading to a wellness check by the Canton police. They initially rule her death a suicide, discovering her body hanged in her bedroom (14:55). However, inconsistencies emerge: Sandra had been planning to announce her pregnancy, had ongoing relationships, and was making arrangements for her unborn child months in advance. “Why would she be making plans months in advance?” Georgia questions (14:55). Sandra's aunt and cousin immediately express suspicions, particularly regarding Matthew’s involvement (15:36).
Evidence of Foul Play and Institutional Failure
Timestamp: [32:21 - 34:35]
The internal investigation, spearheaded by Donna McNamara, Stoughton’s first female police chief, reveals multiple red flags indicating potential foul play:
- Delayed Review of Security Footage: It took two days to examine footage showing Matthew entering Sandra’s building shortly before her last known activity (19:53).
- Contradictory Evidence: Broken silverware and a necklace found on the floor suggest a possible struggle, inconsistent with suicide claims (37:12).
- Pattern of Abuse: Multiple police officers in the Explorers Program were implicated in inappropriate relationships with Sandra, indicating a broader issue of grooming and abuse within the department (23:03).
Chief McNamara stated, “Sandra was failed by, manipulated by and used by people of authority that she admired and trusted right up until her final days” (34:05), underscoring the systemic failures that enabled Sandra’s vulnerability.
Media Exposure and Indictment
Timestamp: [34:35 - 39:14]
A pivotal article by The Marshall Project in May 2024 exposed widespread misconduct in the Police Explorers Program nationwide, bringing renewed attention to Sandra’s case. Under mounting public pressure, Matthew Farwell was indicted on federal charges of murder in August 2024. New forensic evidence, including a fractured hyoid bone and inconsistencies in the physical evidence at the scene, further support suspicions of foul play (36:19).
Sandra’s friends and family have been relentless in their pursuit of justice, emphasizing the profound loss and the failure of local law enforcement to protect her. “Sandra, we can't bring you back, but we're fighting for you” (39:01) reflects the community's determination to ensure accountability.
Analysis and Reflections
Timestamp: [39:14 - 42:38]
Karen and Georgia express their dismay and frustration with the corruption and failures within the policing institutions that allowed Sandra’s abuse and eventual death to go initially unnoticed. Karen poignantly remarks, “What in the hell is going on?”, highlighting the systemic issues that protect abusers while devastating victims (40:37). They reflect on the potential Sandra had to contribute positively to law enforcement if she had not been subjected to such exploitation.
Conclusion: Continuing the Fight for Justice
Timestamp: [42:03 - 42:38]
As the episode wraps up, Karen and Georgia reaffirm their commitment to shedding light on such harrowing cases, urging listeners to stay informed and supportive of victims like Sandra Birchmore. They encourage engagement with the podcast’s minisodes for lighter stories and reiterate their dedication to bringing justice and awareness to the forefront.
Notable Quotes
- Georgia Hardstark: “This story involves grooming of a teenager for sexual assault and discusses suicide. So I've just a warning there” (07:04).
- Karen Kilgariff: “If you get angry as you unwrap your presents, knowing that whatever's underneath will probably be disappointing... you might need therapy, my friend” (26:17).
- Donna McNamara (Chief McNamara): “Sandra was failed by, manipulated by and used by people of authority that she admired and trusted right up until her final days” (34:05).
- Georgia Hardstark: “I'm fighting for you” (39:01).
This comprehensive episode of My Favorite Murder delves deep into the tragic and complex case of Sandra Birchmore, highlighting the intersections of vulnerability, abuse of power, and institutional failure. Through meticulous storytelling and emotional reflection, Karen and Georgia honor Sandra's memory while advocating for systemic change to prevent future tragedies.