459 - We’re Both Skiing

Summary

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
Episode 459: We’re Both Skiing
Release Date: December 19, 2024

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Introduction: Vacation Mode and Special Episode

Timestamp: [00:01 - 02:24]

In this special episode of My Favorite Murder (MFM), hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark announce they are taking a short vacation. Georgia humorously states, “Are you skiing?” (02:04) to which Karen replies, “Yeah, we're both skiing on the same set of skis. That's how we go on vacation” (02:09). Despite their absence, they assure listeners that the podcast remains active with a brief episode featuring one story each. Additionally, they highlight their holiday tradition of making donations, pledging $10,000 to The Trevor Project to support LGBTQ+ youth in crisis (02:41).

Supporting Exactly Right Media and Promotions

Timestamp: [02:24 - 06:51]

Karen and Georgia take a moment to share updates about the Exactly Right Media network, promoting gift cards and encouraging listeners to follow their favorite shows like Buried Bones and This Podcast Will Kill You on social media (03:20). They also urge listeners to rate and review the podcast, likening it to receiving a "little Christmas Hanukkah present" for the hosts and their network (03:58). The conversation briefly shifts to promoting Talkspace, Squarespace, Pretty Litter, and Quince, offering discount codes and highlighting the benefits of these services (04:18 - 29:43).

Main Story: The Untold Tragedy of Sandra Birchmore

Timestamp: [06:51 - 39:14]

Background and Early Life

Timestamp: [06:51 - 10:01]

Georgia introduces a deeply tragic and ongoing case from Boston, detailing the life and untimely death of Sandra Birchmore, a 23-year-old from Canton, Massachusetts. Sandra, who struggled both academically and socially, found solace in the Police Explorers Program—a youth initiative run by the Boy Scouts aimed at mentoring children interested in law enforcement. “Sandra had begged to join this program... and it seems like she really flourished by finally getting to do this” (09:58).

Relationship with Matthew Farwell

Timestamp: [10:01 - 26:57]

Sandra forms a troubling relationship with Matthew Farwell, a 35-year-old police detective significantly older than her. Initially supportive, Matthew’s interest turns predatory as federal prosecutors allege he began grooming and sexually abusing Sandra when she was just 15 (20:33). Their relationship intensifies over the years, culminating in Sandra’s pregnancy announcement in late 2020. Randall notes, “Sandra’s two aunts move in with her to support her, but their relationship is kind of tense and strained” (09:54), highlighting her vulnerable state.

Mysterious Death and Initial Investigation

Timestamp: [26:57 - 32:21]

On February 4, 2021, Sandra fails to show up for work, leading to a wellness check by the Canton police. They initially rule her death a suicide, discovering her body hanged in her bedroom (14:55). However, inconsistencies emerge: Sandra had been planning to announce her pregnancy, had ongoing relationships, and was making arrangements for her unborn child months in advance. “Why would she be making plans months in advance?” Georgia questions (14:55). Sandra's aunt and cousin immediately express suspicions, particularly regarding Matthew’s involvement (15:36).

Evidence of Foul Play and Institutional Failure

Timestamp: [32:21 - 34:35]

The internal investigation, spearheaded by Donna McNamara, Stoughton’s first female police chief, reveals multiple red flags indicating potential foul play:

• Delayed Review of Security Footage: It took two days to examine footage showing Matthew entering Sandra’s building shortly before her last known activity (19:53).
• Contradictory Evidence: Broken silverware and a necklace found on the floor suggest a possible struggle, inconsistent with suicide claims (37:12).
• Pattern of Abuse: Multiple police officers in the Explorers Program were implicated in inappropriate relationships with Sandra, indicating a broader issue of grooming and abuse within the department (23:03).

Chief McNamara stated, “Sandra was failed by, manipulated by and used by people of authority that she admired and trusted right up until her final days” (34:05), underscoring the systemic failures that enabled Sandra’s vulnerability.

Media Exposure and Indictment

Timestamp: [34:35 - 39:14]

A pivotal article by The Marshall Project in May 2024 exposed widespread misconduct in the Police Explorers Program nationwide, bringing renewed attention to Sandra’s case. Under mounting public pressure, Matthew Farwell was indicted on federal charges of murder in August 2024. New forensic evidence, including a fractured hyoid bone and inconsistencies in the physical evidence at the scene, further support suspicions of foul play (36:19).

Sandra’s friends and family have been relentless in their pursuit of justice, emphasizing the profound loss and the failure of local law enforcement to protect her. “Sandra, we can't bring you back, but we're fighting for you” (39:01) reflects the community's determination to ensure accountability.

Analysis and Reflections

Timestamp: [39:14 - 42:38]

Karen and Georgia express their dismay and frustration with the corruption and failures within the policing institutions that allowed Sandra’s abuse and eventual death to go initially unnoticed. Karen poignantly remarks, “What in the hell is going on?”, highlighting the systemic issues that protect abusers while devastating victims (40:37). They reflect on the potential Sandra had to contribute positively to law enforcement if she had not been subjected to such exploitation.

Conclusion: Continuing the Fight for Justice

Timestamp: [42:03 - 42:38]

As the episode wraps up, Karen and Georgia reaffirm their commitment to shedding light on such harrowing cases, urging listeners to stay informed and supportive of victims like Sandra Birchmore. They encourage engagement with the podcast’s minisodes for lighter stories and reiterate their dedication to bringing justice and awareness to the forefront.

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Notable Quotes

• Georgia Hardstark: “This story involves grooming of a teenager for sexual assault and discusses suicide. So I've just a warning there” (07:04).
• Karen Kilgariff: “If you get angry as you unwrap your presents, knowing that whatever's underneath will probably be disappointing... you might need therapy, my friend” (26:17).
• Donna McNamara (Chief McNamara): “Sandra was failed by, manipulated by and used by people of authority that she admired and trusted right up until her final days” (34:05).
• Georgia Hardstark: “I'm fighting for you” (39:01).

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This comprehensive episode of My Favorite Murder delves deep into the tragic and complex case of Sandra Birchmore, highlighting the intersections of vulnerability, abuse of power, and institutional failure. Through meticulous storytelling and emotional reflection, Karen and Georgia honor Sandra's memory while advocating for systemic change to prevent future tragedies.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is exactly right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

My favorite.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hello and welcome to my favorite murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That right there is Georgia Hardstark.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hello, that's me. And that right there is Karen Kilgarra.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

See ya later. She's not participating and she refuses to talk to you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She stormed out. She is really mad.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What did you guys say to her? Jesus.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, my God. All you said was hello and welcome.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, it's. This is.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, a special, special episode. Is that what you're going to say?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, something like that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We're on vacation, you guys. This is. We're not even here. This is fake. If you're hearing us. Yeah, we're somewhere else. Skiing. We're skiing.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Are you skiing?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, we're both skiing on the same set of skis. That's how we go on vacation.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Phew. I'm glad you told me beforehand. I, I. Yep. I gotta practice. Get ready. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Get ready.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's our vacation.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. So we're on vacation. So this is a short episode and we will be back soon, but we don't ever want to leave you entirely. God forbid we do that.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No, no, no. So we're going to do just one story each. No, that's how we do it every episode. Just one story per episode. Today's my day, so, as you guys know, we're doing our holiday tradition where we make donations throughout the month of December.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And Today we're donating $10,000 to the Trevor Project. The Trevor Project aims to end suicide among lesbian, gay, B, transgender, queer and questioning young people and to ensure those young people see a bright future for themselves.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And if you'd like to join us in Donating to this very important cause, go to their website atthetrevorproject.org and if.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Money isn't the thing you can give right now, they also have volunteer opportunities where you can work as a virtual volunteer to support young people to help them navigate tough times and prevent suicide.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Do you want to do some highlights from our podcast network Exactly Right Media?

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know, we're all on vacation. There aren't that many highlights. But we just want to tell you some important stuff. Like for example, the good news that the Exactly Right store now has gift cards and they're the perfect last minute gift. So grab yours [e-mail] and if you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Want the latest on your favorite podcasts on Exactly Right Media, follow us for updates on shows like this Podcast Will Kill you and Buried Bones. Our handle is at Exactly Right on all social media platforms. Please give us a follow. It just kind of helps with metrics and shit, you, you know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. And if you're loving the podcast, you aren't Exactly Right, then we beg you to go, rate, review and follow wherever you like to listen.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's like a little, little Christmas Hanukkah present for us and for those podcasts.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know, but also all year round. So Valentine's, Easter, whatever, we're gonna keep asking for this present.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Do you get angry as you unwrap your presents, knowing that whatever's underneath will probably be disappointing and your loved ones have failed you yet again?

[Karen Kilgariff]

If the answer's yes, you might need therapy, my friend.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Talkspace provides personalized treatment for individuals, couples, the LGBTQIA community, veterans and teens.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Once you meet your therapy goals, or if you want to cancel for any reason, Talkspace will provide you with a prorated refund for unused time. Guys, let's start 2025 with an appointment for therapy. Please, can we do this? You know why? The people who cause you to need therapy will not go to therapy ever. I'm sorry. It's true. You need to learn how to deal with your emotions and their issues instead of begging them to go deal with their issues. Because they won't. I promise.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It seems like you're talking about something specific, Georg. Mom. As a Listener of this podcast. You'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talk.com mfm and enter promo code SPACE80 to.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

You'll get $80 off YOUR first month and show support for our show.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's talkspace.com mfm and Enter promo code SPACE80. Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

That's squarespace.com murder. Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All right, Are you gonna tell me a story?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. This one's a hardcore one.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And just a kind of heads up, this case is still currently playing out in the courts, so it's a really interesting one to follow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And if we were in England, we wouldn't be able to talk about this.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right? We know that now in the uk. So this is a tragic and really honestly infuriating story that I had somehow never heard about, even though it was going on right over in Boston. Boston. As I said, it's still playing out in courts. And I checked on our Gmail and we only had a couple mentions of it by Murderinos, which I was really surprised about because you guys were always emailing us like, you should cover this case and have you heard of this? So that was surprising. So I'm glad we're covering it. This is the story of the death of Sandra Birchmore. And just a note and warning, this story involves grooming of a teenager for sexual assault and discusses suicide. So I've just a warning there. So the main sources I use for this story are an article in Boston magazine called the Betrayal of Sandra Birchmore by Michelle McPhee. I highly recommend this article. It's really incredible. And I also use reporting from the Boston Globe. And the rest of the sources can be found in the show notes. Okay, so It's February of 2021 pretty recently, and Sandra Birchmore is a 23 year old woman living in Canton, Massachusetts. It's a Boston suburb. Like it's on the outskirts of Boston, but it's like part of that Boston community. And Sandra has her own little apartment and new job teaching as an assistant at a local school. So it's been a hard fight for her to get to this place. Growing up, Sandra had both. Had struggled both academically and socially. In school. Her teachers say that she acted like a kid who couldn't get enough attention at home, which kind of made her act out, but not in a bad way, like kind of just wanting attention from the teachers. But that also made her a target for bullies. Yeah, she would try to hang out with the teachers a lot, clearly just craving attention and validation from adults. And because of this, she was often isolated from her peers, which is really sad. Sandra had grown up without a father. Her last name, Birchmore, comes from her mother's late husband who died before Sandra was born. So he wasn't her father. And she actually never knew her biological father. Sandra's mother sounds like she did her best under very tough circumstances. But their relationship is often strained and Sandra isn't always closely looked after. One of the most important people in her life is a grandfather figure. It's like a. He's like an older family friend who actually acted like her grandfather. And he's a decorated army veteran. And he fosters in Sandra from a young age a deep admiration for law enforcement and makes her want to go into that field when she's 12 or 13 years old. I'm not totally clear on that. Sandra's mother enrolls her in the Police Explorers program in their hometown of Stoughton, Massachusetts. Obviously spelled in a way I would have said wrong if the phonetic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's all of Massachusetts cities.

[Georgia Hardstark]

There's a G that's crazy in there.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know, all kinds of G's and ages.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, so it's Stoughton. This is a program run by the Boy Scouts, now called Scouting America, with local police departments where children become junior police cadets and learn about police work. Sandra had begged to join this program, and her mother finally makes it happen when she's 13. And during this time in the Explorers, Sandra does better academically. She finds some community and friendship in the program, and it seems like she really flourishes by finally getting to do this. So around the time Sandra graduates from high school, Sandra's mother writes a letter to the deputy police chief who runs the Explorers program, thanking him for its impact on Sandra's life. It's clearly made a difference. Tragically, Sandra's mother dies shortly after this. And I know losing the only parent in her life leaves Sandra unmoored, of course, and vulnerable. Sandra's two aunts move in with her to support her, but their relationship is kind of tense and strained, and it takes her a few years to find her footage. But by late 2020, Sandra is in a much better place. She's in community college. She's made some very close friends with other young women there. Her aunts, cousins, friends, and co workers consistently describe her as relentlessly positive, even in the toughest circumstances. She's also very talkative and upbeat. In fact, a lot of people would classify her as a bit of an oversharer, which is like, hi, welcome.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hi. Yes, to me.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She will often tell her new co workers of everything that's going in her life, even if it's the first time they've had a conversation, which I fucking do too. It's a way to. It's like a bid to get connection, you know?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, completely. And I think it also is. I feel like I was reading recently. Yeah, it's a coping mechanism that we learn early and that just like you're saying is a bid for connection. But also I think there's a little bit of a. I'm just thinking of how I do it, where it is, that kind of thing of like, this is it, like, get to know me. And then if you don't like it, then you can go totally. That kind of thing.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Rather than us spending a bunch of time together and realizing you don't. We don't like each other. Let me tell you what's wrong with me now. So you can walk away if you want to.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And. Yeah. And if you don't like any of this, then. Then great, we're all on the same page. It's kind of like that, like, it's also. That's very controlling. It's kind of trying to say, I can't deal with the basic back and forth nuance of a normal adult relationship. I have to run it this way. Where it's like, throw it on the table if you don't like it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's like, over vulnerability in a way that. That isn't authentic somehow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, it's. I think it's from maybe past transgressions where vulnerability has been a bad idea for you, and so you just don't want it to happen again. So you're like, fine, here's. Here's how we're gonna run it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. And I'm in charge of it. Totally. That makes absolute sense. Sandra is a redhead with a ton of freckles, sweet little face. She looks younger than she is her whole life in these pictures I've seen of her. So all this oversharing she's doing includes some exciting news. At the very end of 2020, Sandra finds out she's pregnant. Her friends say she's absolutely thrilled about it. She's only a few weeks along, but she's already shopping for baby items and scheduling doctor's appointments. And she's told quite a few people because that's the way she is. And she's excited. And she has plans to announce the pregnancy on Valentine's day. According to her texts with friends, she's planning a gender reveal. She even already asked a friend to watch her two cats. That's when she has to go deliver the baby in the hospital, which is months away. So she is excited about this and planning for it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So on February 4, 2021, when Sandra fails to show up for work, her colleagues are concerned, and they call the police for a wellness check. So that day is a Thursday. On the previous Monday, there had been a heavy snowstorm, and school had been dismissed early. So it sounds like school is back in session on Tuesday and Wednesday. But for whatever reason, no one checks in until Thursday. When Canton police arrive at Sandra's apartment, there's no answer at the door. The door is locked. But they see her car in the parking lot covered in snow, so they assume she's there. They get a key from the building management, and they let themselves in. So when they get to Sandra's bedroom, and here, just the warning, Is the description of a death rule to be suicide. They find her body, and the immediate impression is that she has died by suicide. It appears she has hanged herself in a seated position from the door to her bedroom closet. Yeah, it's very distressing. Sandra's two cats are in the apartment, and they're fine. But it appears she made no arrangements for their care. If she was planning to take her own life, you know, she had made plans for months in advance when the baby was born, why wouldn't she have done it then as well? Right, Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And also, why would she be making plans months in advance?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Exactly. Exactly. And this is just one of the many details the Canton police overlooks in their initial investigation into Sandra's death. The police call in help from state troopers, and emergency medical personnel also report to the scene. Although Sandra is already dead, a state trooper notes that there appears to be no sign of foul play. And the medical examiner also rules the death a suicide. He says that Sandra had died several days earlier. So Sandra's aunt, a woman named Darlene Smith, is named as the emergency contact on Sandra's lease. And so when she gets the horrific news about her niece, she's immediately suspicious and knows shit's not adding up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She calls her other niece Sandra's cousin, a woman named Barbara Wright, who totally agrees as well. These two grieving women are tasked with cleaning out Sandra's apartment in the days immediately following her death. And this is what they find. Sandra had been in the middle of doing laundry when she supposedly took her own life. She had a load going in the dryer and a load in the washing machine. She had sent text messages back and forth with a few different friends about random everyday things. And on the evening she died, she had scheduled an OB appointment. So, you know, Crazy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. It doesn't make sense.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, no, the math's not mathing, as they say. When going through the apartment, they find a homemade sign that says, congratulations, we're going to be parents, assumably, to whoever the father was. It's written in elaborate script with magic markers, has glitter and animal stickers on it. Clearly, she's excited about this. They find an ultrasound photo decorated with more glitter. They find Sandra's necklace, which she always wore. It's a gold chain with a flamingo pendant, and it's found on the floor. And the chain is broken, and it's next to, like, a clump of hair, as if they had been pulled all. You know. And the police either never saw it or simply never explained it away because it's left behind. Right. Both Barbara and Denise knew that Sandra had a boyfriend and that he was a police detective and that he was married.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, no.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So here we go.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, here we go.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We're talking about the Boston PD and specifically the Canton PD and the Stoughton pd and so, I mean, I can't even begin to tell you all the that's going on with them right now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, is that where that yes. Oh, my God. What's that woman's name?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Karen Reed. So what we're talking about is the fact that recently the citizens of Canton voted in favor of an independent third party audit of their police department because they didn't have faith in them. Because is going on. And one of those things that's going on is the trial of this woman named Karen Reed for the alleged murder or accidental car accident death of her boyfriend who was also in the pd. But as you know, it just sounds. It's shit's blowing up, it's wild. And there's a really great two part article in Vanity Fair called Karen Reid Tells Her Story part one and two. That'll tell you everything about it. That's really good. And this happened a couple years before Karen Reed, the Karen Reed case has come to light. A lot of people think that because of the investigation into what's going on with Karen Reed, this case has resurfaced to the FBI agents who are investigating Karen Reed's story and that. And there's some red flags here.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, there's about eight red flags. And you just started telling me this story.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Exactly.

[Karen Kilgariff]

God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So, in fact, lots of people knew this information, that this police detective was her boyfriend. Sandra had told friends and co workers that she was pregnant and that he was the father. She had described the situation as tense. The officer's name is Matthew farwell and he's 35 years old and Sandra is 23. At this point, we should make it clear Matthew was charged with Sandra's murder this past August, more than three years after all this happens. But he has not been convicted. So just to let you know, Sandra's aunt and cousin both immediately tell investigators that they believe Matthew should be questioned because this is suspicious. It takes two days after Sandra's body is discovered for investigators to look at the security footage from the lobby of her apartment. Two days. So the footage initially shows Sandra coming home to her apartment on Monday and just kind of, you know, doing some errands in and out of the apartment building. And in this footage, Sandra's wearing the clothing she is later found in. And so this confirms the medical examiner's timeline and makes it even more specific. Sandra died on Monday, February 1st. And this is further corroborated by the health data on her iPhone because it records her last steps at 9:40pm that night.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Which I find so interesting that they can just track that now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Kind of creepy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, totally. The security footage then also shows a man authorities have confirmed to be Matthew Farrel, the Police officer in a hooded jacket and like a Covid mask arriving at the lobby at 9:08pm he gets in the elevator and then is seen leaving the building at 9:43pm Three minutes after Sandra's phone records her last steps. Let's back up a little to the troubling part of the story where Sandra Birchmore first meets Matthew Farwell. This would have been when Sandra joined the police explorers program in 2010.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, no.

[Georgia Hardstark]

When she was just 13 years old and Matthew was 24 years old. So about Matthew. After dropping out of high school, he joined the military and then got a job with the Wellesley Police Department. And over the first two years of Sandra being in the Explorers Program, Matthew took a special interest in her and would spend time helping her with her homework, both at the program and outside of it, at the public library. During this time period, Matthew moved from the Wellesley Police Department to the Stoughton Police Department. But he had worked with the Stoughton Explorers Program the whole time. So he's in this Explorers Program. From an outside perspective at the time, Matthew's interest in Sandra would look like the program was working as intended, setting vulnerable kids up with police mentors. Federal prosecutors now say that Matthew spent the first two years of the program grooming Sandra, starting in April of 2013, when Sandra was 15 and Matthew was 27. Federal prosecutors now allege that Matthew began sexually abusing Sandra. This would have been one month before Matthew got married to his now wife and was going on at the time. This period is often described as the relationship, quote, becoming sexual or, quote, crossing a line. But because of the age difference and if it happened the way federal prosecutors say it did, it's sexual abuse is what we're explaining.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Matthew will later admit that he and Sandra had a relationship, but he claims it started after Sandra became an adult. And the bulk of the evidence for the federal charges, which say the relationship began when Sandra was underage, is based on extensive text messages between Matthew and Sandra.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's a little hard to refute.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It appears the earliest messages available are from 2019. But in them, Matthew seems to back up the prosecutor's timeline. And in one text, he says, and it's like, creepy and flirtatious, that he would have started the physical relationship when she was even younger than 15. This relationship continued consistently for the next seven years. But it gets even darker than just Matthew using his position of power to groom and abuse Sandra, allegedly. Because the evidence points to this being a bigger problem within the Explorers program. Sometime around 2017, once Sandra was about 18. Federal prosecutors say that two other men who worked for the Stoughton Police Department also had physical relationships with her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

With Sandra.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Mm. One was Matthew Farwell's twin brother, who was also a police officer, and the other is the deputy chief who ran the police Explorers Program from the time Sandra joined to when she was 13. The same man that Sandra's mother wrote a thank you note to for all she's done for Sandra.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is horrible.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. All three men were aware of this dynamic between themselves and Sandra. So the men would also sometimes see Sandra while they were supposed to be on duty. Sandra had joined the Explorers Program as a vulnerable girl without stable adult relationships. According to both federal prosecutors and the Stoughton Police Department's own internal investigation, the men she met in this program used this in order to exploit her. Over the course of 2020, when Sandra is 22 and 23, Matthew's texts to her also become increasingly creepy and violent in tone. In their exchanges, they would talk about how he would perform certain sex acts as, quote, punishment for what he deemed bad behavior on Sandra's part. Throughout 2020, Sandra becomes fixated on the idea of having a baby with Matthew. They would fight more and more often, and she essentially presents this as an ultimatum. If they have a baby, she won't reveal the relationship to his wife and to higher ups at the police department. Sandra, at this point, has confided in multiple friends about what's going on with her relationship with Matthew. One of them urges her not to have a baby with Matthew and told her, quote, trying so hard to get pregnant, she was going to get herself killed, end quote. At the end of 2020, Matthew eventually agrees to have the baby. And according to text messages, their text messages that have been released in the federal indictment. In the process of the agreement, he also negotiates with her about getting to enact violent fantasies. And those texts are very disturbing. I'm not going to repeat them. In December of 2020, Sandra finds out that she's pregnant. Even though Matthew had seemingly agreed to have the baby, he doesn't react well to the news. He texts Sandra, quote, I have literally nothing to say right now. How far are you? End quote. And Sandra writes back, quote, regardless of how far we're keeping it, end quote. She also writes that she will insist that he sign the birth certificate, and that's partly because she didn't have her birth father's signature on her birth certificate. And, you know, that upset her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, and it feels like. And this is obviously, I have no idea. But just hearing the details of what you've told me from the outside, it's like she is trying to get the thing that she never had build the thing she never had with a person who does not want to give it to her. And not only never intended to give it to her, but who has been the last person she should be trying to do that with. But obviously if she's been groomed since she was in junior high, then she actually doesn't really know anything about. She wouldn't be able to. But then she's also been completely under the influence of this grown man.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, it makes sense that this is how she thinks she should start a family because there's nothing else that's ever led her to believe otherwise. You know, it's so tragic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it's also the reason they say a lot of times pedophiles groom children who are at risk because there are those voices, aren't there to tell them that or defend them or anything. It's just, it's a tragedy on top of a tragedy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally. Do you ever wish cats could talk?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Absolutely not. It would be nothing but insults and gaslighting.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God. That would be so cute though. But at least with Pretty Litter we can know exactly what's going on with our cats.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh no.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Don't tell anyone who's ever going to eat in my house. But that dust tracks everywhere. It's gross. Like this is a great solution and it's a great product. So like, like, let's all do that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You guys, Pretty Litter is pretty amazing. You have to try it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

That's Pretty Litter.com MFM to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. Pretty Litter.com MFM terms and conditions apply. Seaside for details, Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This season, while you're shopping for loved ones, don't forget to get yourself something too. Because let's face it, it, you're the one who did all the work.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Everything's priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Because Quint works directly with top factories, they cut out the middleman and they pass the savings on to you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Quint only partners with factories that uphold safe, ethical manufacturing practices and use premium fabrics and finishes. Karen, let's talk about your sweater.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm literally wearing a Quint sweater right now. It is the Mongolian cashmere sweater. Cashmere sweaters used to be a thing. My mom gave us one every year at Christmas and it's like precious, you know, wrapped in tissue paper of like, be careful. And you know, this was like this precious thing. The idea that you can get yourself a cashmere sweater for 50 bucks and have like this beautiful staple in your wardrobe is one of the many beautiful things about Quint. I love this brand.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You can wear it on a Wednesday instead of saving it like for one wear all year.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Look at me, I'm acting like it's Christmas morning over here.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

Sandra's text messages show that in January of 2021, Sandra writes to a friend saying that Matthew had basically pushed her down to the ground when she showed him the ultrasound photo, saying quote that's not my child, end quote. At the end of January, Matthew texts Sandra to ask if he can come over. He asks when he comes. He asks for a key to her apartment in case he needs to be there during the pregnancy. And he's generally acting much nicer to her than he has in the previous months. But also on that visit, she tells her friends that Matthew inspects her bedroom closet and her bathroom. And she texts her friend about it because it's so strange. But also, she says, he seems like he's coming around because, you know, for the key and everything.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Then, on February 1, 2021, is the day of the snowstorm. When Sandra gets home early from work, she those mundane things I talked about. Matthew texts, asking to swing by at 9:08. He enters the building at 9:14, which means he was close by, and leaves at 9:43, locking Sandra's door behind him with the key he had asked her to make. And then. This is so disturbing. So based on the clothes he's wearing in the footage from the lobby, he goes, seemingly directly or in the same clothes, to the hospital where his wife is giving birth to their third child.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No. Oh, God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And there's a photo of him holding the baby, the new baby. Baby in those clothes. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Again, Sandra's family and friends are suspicious of the suicide ruling by the medical examiner. And when they bring up Matthew Farwell's name to the investigators, and when he's seen on Sandra's building security footage, a state police detective, but who's also a former Stoughton officer, interviews him. But just like, maybe not, dude, maybe some conflict of interest there, maybe. The interview is super brief. It takes place in a parking lot. So it's totally informal. It's obviously like, just almost seems like, you know, let's get this over with and blow this off. Farwell describes a recent casual relationship with Sandra and admits he did visit her the night she died and that they had a brief argument. And he says that he had ended their relationship that night. And he denies being the father of Sandra's child. Says, like, we didn't. We haven't had sex in months. A week later, on February 9, Matthew turns his phone over to state troopers. They say they look through it and they say they don't find anything noteworthy in it. So either he deleted the text and they didn't look any further into it, or they just didn't look into it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We don't know. But while all this is going on, multiple people are telling higher ups at the Stouton Police Department about Sandra's relationship with Matthew and the involvement of Matthew's twin brother and the deputy chief, the one who ran the Explorers program. So people are talking because this is fucking suspicious as shit, you know?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Everyone, it's like, clear to anyone, especially.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Those involved, especially people that have some sort of a conscience or some sort of an ethical center.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right, right. Or basic understanding of, like, detective work.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also basic. Like human decency.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Yeah. At this point, Stoughton has its first ever female police chief, a woman named Donna McNamara. And thankfully, she launches an internal affairs investigation. So this internal affairs investigation finds significant evidence backing up all of the allegations. It also uncovers the thousands of text messages between Sandra and Matthew, which the state troopers, for whatever reason, were unable to recover. Oh, there they are. So the results of the internal affairs investigation are made public in September of 2022 at a press conference. Chief McNamara says Sandra was, quote, failed by, manipulated by and used by people of authority that she admired and trusted right up until her final days. Ms. Birchmore was a vulnerable person who had one constant in her life, an unwavering admiration for police officers, of those serving in the military, people in uniform, people with oaths and duties to protect and serve. The admiration led her to form relationships with men who were willing to take advantage of her. End quote. And she had also tried to join the military as well.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oaths and duties to protect and serve really is kind of the banner. That's the banner statement where, just like it's. It's gone so insane with policing in America, it's just so out of control.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It is. The information uncovered by this internal affairs investigation shows that the deputy chief who ran the Explorers program also acted inappropriately with other girls in the program. And it finds the timeline of Matthew Farwell's relationship with Sandra meant that he committed statutory rape.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Rape.

[Georgia Hardstark]

He is placed on leave that same month, but nobody presses charges for years. That is 2022. So then in May of 2024, the Marshall Project, which does investigative reporting about the criminal justice system, runs a story about widespread grooming and abuse in the police Explorers program across the country. And it also discusses Sandra's death. Death. And so, at the time the article is published, the Reporters find about 200 complaints of misconduct in the nationwide program, and more have since come out. So this development and others bring much more attention to Sandra's death. And many people join a movement to pressure the Norfolk county district attorney to build a criminal case against Matthew. So on Wednesday, August 24, 2024, this past August, Matthew Farwell is indicted on federal charges of murder. At this point, he's no longer employed by the Stoughton police, But it's the first time anyone has brought any charges against him, and it's the first time much of the evidence from his text with Sandra and Sandra's other online activity is released to the public. So people are pissed. And it's like kind of goes all the way to the top situation.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's like. It's the. The act itself, the. The potential. The potential of that being true and like whatever this. The trial is going to result in, but then also just the overall corruption of like. So you would actually protect something this craven. You would actually. You would actually participate in it and you would make sure it gets to keep happening. That's just like. That's horrifying in so on so many levels.

[Georgia Hardstark]

For an innocent girl to be murdered, that's fine with you. That's. That's an okay trade off to protect this person. Right. And this institution. The federal investigation also uncovers overlooked forensic evidence. A pathologist from the FBI finds that Sandra had injuries that would be inconsistent with the way her body was found. There's a fracture in her hyoid bone which anyone true crime amateur knows is from strangulation. Right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, can be. I think Paul Holes one time talked about how that is a very. It's a very easy bone to break. So it isn't immediately proof, however.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And that's true. And it also does happen when you. When a person's been hanged from the ceiling, not from a sitting position. It's never happened when someone's hanged from a seating position.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So it's actually has no place here at all. It points out.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Otherwise if she had been hanging from, you know, the ceiling, then it would have been a different story.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Got it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So additionally, the FBI investigation re examines photos from Sandra's apartment taken by either Canton police or state troopers on the day her body was found. And in the photos, Sandra's flamingo necklace, the one that was found broken on the floor by her family, is clearly visible. The broken chain is hanging off of her neck. Neck. And the pendant is resting on her stomach, as in she was wearing it when this happened and it slid off. It got ripped off somehow because it's broken.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, got it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So how would that happen without a struggle?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So somehow this necklace migrated from her body to the floor while investigators were on the scene. They didn't collect it as evidence. They just left it behind. Which is like, why wouldn't you. It's because it's. This is evidence that like, points to a struggle, you know?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Or they're just. They're actually not even looking that closely.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right. They already have said this is suicide. Let's move on. Right. Totally. So far, no state or county charges have been filed against Matthew. So the FBI has made their evidence available to those agencies. Sandra's loved ones and thousands of people who never knew her in life continue to pressure the D. A to rectify the mistakes that local law enforcement made on this case and to bring their own charges. You know, you can't help but wonder what good Sandra Birchmore could have done if she had been able to follow her actual dreams of being in law enforcement. And maybe she would have mentored a new generation of at risk kids who dreamed of being in law enforcement and, you know, had become the good cops we need so badly.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

On the day of the federal indictment, one of Sandra's friends told reporters, quote, sandra, we can't bring you back back, but we're fighting for you, end quote. And that is the story of the alleged murder of Sandra Birchmore.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow. I mean, I. So I remember seeing, like, an article about that, I think when that first broke of, like, this is, like this controversy. And the reason, like, it sticks to my mind is because you're saying that the. That program she joined was from Boy Scouts of America.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Which if you have ever seen Leave no Trace, which is a documentary about the Boy Scouts of America, it is harrowing and hair raising. What a. Basically, it's a program that almost encourages pedophiles and people who have ill intent toward children and the idea that then they're going through and it's like, we're gonna take this and now implement it through policing the people who seem to have ultimate authority over everybody all the time. Like, what a nightmare.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally. And then, like, not without oversight, but with oversight by those predators. By their.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, the same people. Wow. That's gonna be kind of fascinating to see how that case turns out. It is that thing of, like, once you kind of pull, pick up that rock and, like, let the sunshine come through, it's like, at least gives people hope for, like, if one thing gets exposed, then the exposure spreads.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally. Like you're pulling a thread, a loose thread, and the whole fucking thing falls apart.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But, God, these are. These ones are bad. It's. You know, we don't want to sit on here and talk about anything. Like we know anything, but, like, this is what this podcast is, is us consuming media and going, wow, as an average American.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What in the hell is going on? Well, great job.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Thank you. So. Yeah. All right, so that's this week. You go next week. And.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, we'll just keep our vacation promise to you. Hey, we're gone now. We're skiing at the moment, but tandem skiing. We still want to tell you all of the horrible things that are happening in the world so that you can have a good holiday.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So we're here with you. We're hoping good holiday season and it's not too insane. Make sure to go tandem skiing with your loved ones.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. And also, if you need a. A palate cleanser and we don't have the one we normally build in, go over to the minisodes because there's some real joyful happening over there. Real fun time stories, real good stories about people's grandmas and their trash dads and those games where you step a cabinet and money gets blown all around you. What's it called? Money. A money.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Money booth. Money booth.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Money booth. There's a lot of money booth stories.

[Georgia Hardstark]

A lot of fun stuff. It does feel like a little like, camaraderie. Spot the minisodes, where it's like we're a little. We're in like a club, you know, and everyone's just like telling their fun stories and fucked up stories too. So they're still there, but fun stories to each other. It's all there.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. And, you know, in the meantime, we'll see you when we get back.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an exactly right production.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our managing producer is Hannah Kyle Creighton.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillace.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our Researchers are Maren McLachan and Ali Elk.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murdermail.com.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at. My favorite murder. Goodbye.