MFM Minisode 423

Summary

Episode Summary: My Favorite Murder Minisode 423

Release Date: February 17, 2025
Episode: MFM Minisode 423
Hosts: Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
Network: Exactly Right Podcast Network

In Minisode 423 of My Favorite Murder, hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark delve into a collection of listener-submitted emails, each recounting unique and often hilarious personal anecdotes. This episode, themed around "email," showcases a blend of true crime elements and comedic storytelling, staying true to the podcast's signature style. Below is a detailed summary of each featured story, complete with notable quotes and timestamped highlights.

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1. My Dad Sent a Cult Leader to Jail

Sender: Miranda G.
Timestamp: [06:07] – [10:08]

Summary:
Miranda G. shares a harrowing account from November 1980 in Fruzeburg, New York. Her father, Ron, at 18 years old, and his stepfather, Harvey, encountered Calvin of Oak Knoll—a self-proclaimed religious leader with a small following—during hunting season. The confrontation escalated when Calvin shot and killed another hunter, Douglas Kelly, leading to his arrest and eventual imprisonment. The story takes a dramatic turn when, during a preliminary hearing, a follower of Calvin attempts to intimidate witnesses by forcefully trying to reach them, threatening Miranda's very existence.

Notable Quotes:

• Karen: “He’s not even answering the question asked.” ([08:44])
• Miranda: “Do I casually write to them suggesting an exhumation? Maybe.” ([26:03])

Highlights:

• Confrontation with Calvin: The tension-filled encounter between Miranda's father and Calvin, culminating in the tragic shooting.
• Courtroom Drama: The attempted intimidation by Calvin's follower adds a layer of suspense and danger.
• Emotional Impact: Miranda reflects on the lasting effects of the event, emphasizing the personal connection to true crime.

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2. Faking Injury Backfire Stories

Sender: Becky
Timestamp: [10:40] – [15:35]

Summary:
Becky recounts a teenage escapade where, at 13 years old, she faked partial blindness to dodge homework and detention. During a classroom moment, she nonchalantly mentions losing vision in her right eye, prompting her friend to report her to the teacher. This lie leads her to the school nurse and an urgent visit to the emergency room. Despite her efforts to maintain composure, the situation spirals out of control, leaving her puzzled by the extreme reactions from adults.

Notable Quotes:

• Becky: “Maybe that's a sign of a tumor I don’t know about.” ([14:19])
• Karen: “So how it got this far remains a mystery.” ([14:21])

Highlights:

• Teenage Deception: Becky's strategic lying to avoid academic responsibilities.
• Unexpected Consequences: The overwhelming concern and medical intervention that followed her fabricated injury.
• Comedic Banter: Karen and Georgia's playful exchange about the absurdity of the situation adds levity to the story.

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3. Laughing at Inappropriate Times

Sender: Cassie
Timestamp: [16:00] – [19:58]

Summary:
Cassie shares a bittersweet moment from two years prior during her best friend's mother's funeral. As the funeral director, a stoic elderly man, clumsily trips and falls down the aisle, the room falls silent in shock. Meanwhile, Cassie and her boyfriend burst into uncontrollable laughter, unable to contain their amusement at the unexpected and clumsy mishap amidst a solemn setting. The incident highlights the complex interplay between grief and humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Cassie: “We lost it. Yeah, he was okay.” ([18:19])
• Georgia: “We still talk about it and it’ll make me laugh every time.” ([18:16])

Highlights:

• Emotional Complexity: The juxtaposition of mourning and spontaneous laughter underscores the unpredictable nature of human emotions.
• Universal Relatability: Many listeners can relate to finding humor in tense or tragic situations.
• Heartwarming Reflection: Cassie appreciates how the moment offered a brief respite during a difficult time for her friend and her family.

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4. Buried Treasure Story

Sender: Melissa
Timestamp: [22:26] – [27:35]

Summary:
Melissa narrates her family's intriguing lore connecting them to the legendary composer Hector Berlioz. Her husband's grandmother possessed a mysterious box allegedly containing significant family heirlooms, including a violin purportedly left by Berlioz himself. Despite her intense curiosity and multiple degrees in classical music, Melissa's father-in-law heeded the grandmother's final wishes to bury the box without ever inspecting its contents. This unresolved mystery fuels Melissa's obsession, leaving her yearning for answers about the box's true contents.

Notable Quotes:

• Melissa: “I will never know what was in that fucking box of secrets.” ([26:19])
• Karen: “Stay sexy and always look in the box before burying potential treasure.” ([27:35])

Highlights:

• Family Heritage: The compelling connection to a renowned historical figure adds depth to the narrative.
• Mystery and Suspense: The unopened box serves as a tantalizing enigma, sparking listeners' imaginations.
• Humorous Frustration: Melissa's playful torment over the unresolved mystery brings humor to the story.

---

5. Hometown Festivals

Sender: Lindsay
Timestamp: [28:27] – [30:47]

Summary:
Lindsay introduces listeners to her quaint hometown in Ontario, Oregon, most notably its annual Tater Tot Festival. The festival celebrates the invention of the Tater Tot in 1953 by F. Griggs, who repurposed potato scraps into the beloved snack. Each September, the town hosts live music, face painting, and a competitive showcase where vendors vie for the title of "Best Tot." Lindsay humorously imagines unconventional Tater Tot creations, such as chili cheese tots and sweet dessert variants, highlighting the festival's growth and community spirit.

Notable Quotes:

• Lindsay: “Our town tries to do it big. The main street is shut down and there's many vendors selling handmade trinkets.” ([29:04])
• Karen: “Chili cheese tater tots. Do you think those exist?” ([30:01])

Highlights:

• Cultural Celebration: The festival embodies the town's pride and creativity centered around a simple yet beloved food item.
• Community Engagement: Live events and competitions foster a sense of togetherness and friendly rivalry.
• Creative Humor: Lindsay and the hosts' playful ideas for innovative Tater Tot dishes add a light-hearted touch.

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Final Remarks:
Throughout Minisode 423, Karen and Georgia's dynamic interaction and sharp humor elevate each listener submission, transforming personal stories into engaging narratives. Their ability to balance true crime elements with comedic anecdotes offers a multifaceted listening experience, appealing to both fans of the genre and those seeking relatable, entertaining tales.

Notable Closing Moments:

• Karen: “This must be the longest minisode I've ever done. There's nothing mini about this one.” ([30:28])
• Georgia: “Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye.” ([30:34])

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Stay Connected:
Listeners are encouraged to share their hometown stories and personal anecdotes via email at myfavoritemurdermail.com. Follow My Favorite Murder on Instagram and Facebook to stay updated on future episodes and network offerings.

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Production Credits:

• Senior Producer: Alejandra Keck
• Editor: Aristotle Acevedo
• Mixing: Liana Squilacci

This episode was produced by Exactly Right Productions, ensuring high-quality content tailored to engage and entertain audiences worldwide.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

My favorite. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder, the Minisode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh yeah, that's what we're doing here.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's the email episode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We read you stories about absolutely anything.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then we just talk about email in general.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, just talking.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All the different ones we've had over the years.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The World Wide Web, SBC Global. You want to go first?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sure. The subject line of this email is a murder at a convent in the Czech Republic countryside.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Ooh.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hi. In 2013, at the end of my junior year of college, I studied abroad for the summer in the Czech Republic. There were 15 of us from our Catholic in parentheses this is relevant university. On this six week trip, we had classes from Monday to Thursday and spent the weekends traveling around the Czech Republic as a group. One weekend we were meant to attend a seminar related to our classes. I could not tell you what the seminar was about, but it probably had something to do with religion since we were staying at a former convent next to a church. Also, I am and have long been an atheist. This isn't important, but I just thought it should be known.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I wouldn't have guessed.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Anyway, this former convent was in a very rural village in the Czech countryside. The village was so small that aside from the church, convent and cemetery, there was only a single restaurant and a grocery store in the whole town village. While the village was beautiful, it was slightly spooky and isolating. Also, this was 2013 in the Czech countryside. So there was no wifi, but only a single dial up computer in the main hall of that convent that we would take turns using to notify our loved ones living. After we settled in our rooms, one large room for the girls and one large room for the boys, both lined with twin beds. It's horror movie set.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What's that one? Midsummer. Reminds me of Midsummer.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh yes. I tell the story of when me and Bridger went to see Midsommar. And then I realized that I didn't bring my regular glasses. I only had my prescription sunglasses. So that scene that's super disturbing where the. And there's the big ball of people having sex or she goes and catches him, whatever. Bridger looks over and I'm sitting there wearing sunglasses, watching the scene. Kind of like too cool.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Too cool for this.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So cool. Just like. I just want to see some details. Okay. After we settled in our rooms, one large room for the girls and one large room for the boys, both lined with twin beds, we were given a tour by the current priest. I'm only half listening. When we get back to the door to the convent. And the priest is telling us where they hide the key for entry. He began to tell us that there is a small memorial stone next to the door for the former priest who worked. Is that the right word? At this church? For many years, I assumed he died of old age, but I was wrong. Apparently, only a few short years earlier, the former priest had awoken one cold and snowy night by someone banging on the door, begging for food and shelter. The priest went to open the door and after speaking to the man through the door, decided to open up and let the man inside. As he did, the man took an axe and beheaded the priest on the spot. Why? I was now even more terrified and unsettled than I was before. I guess that was a collective feeling, because we all did what college students would do. We basically drank the local restaurant out of all their alcohol. Between the 15 students and five professors, we racked up a bill of about 120 beers, 50 glasses of wine, and 10 screwdrivers.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Who's paying for this? Jesus?

[Karen Kilgariff]

The Catholic Church? N as we all stumbled back to the convent in small groups or pairs, we looked over our shoulders for the axeman, the ghost of the priest, or classmates hiding to scare us. What I remember from that night is a blur of people running up and down the hallway. Two people possibly hooking up in the boys room. I mean, please. What's hotter than being separated and in a convent? Like, forbidden. Forbidden. Forbidden.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

A girl who threw up so much that she lost her very expensive mouth guard.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Gotta take your mouth guard off before you barf.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Too drunk.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Too drunk.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You gotta. I'm gonna bed.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I don't care what you. Yeah, like she was fine enough to put her mouth guard in.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And then suddenly you get that. Oh, no, everything's spinning.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She was, like, in the drunk mode, where she was like, I'm still doing my nighttime beauty routine. Toner serums to projectile vomiting.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. She lost her very expensive mouth guard that protected her from grinding her teeth. One of my friends crying that she needed our other friend to take her contacts out because her eyes and her skin were burning from the nettle field she had rolled in.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, fuck.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And my other friend and I quietly pushing our twin beds together and falling asleep holding hands so we would be protected from the axeman, Ghost priest. While no one died or was haunted by the axeman or ghost priest, we were no longer allowed to order alcohol on our school's tab for the remainder of our trip. This was understandable and also not a huge deal, since A beer was about $1 US and water, which the school would cover, was 2 to $3 US. Thanks for the podcast. J she her.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wow, that's a good one.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That was just like, just here's a cool experience I had once that was also scary.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And yeah, it's why we just keep asking for random stories, because there's so many good ones out there that you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wouldn'T be like, yeah, and everybody's life to some degree or another has been touched by murder. It has been touched by the idea that a human being decided to turn around and end the life of another human being.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And what that does to everybody else in the after effect.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I just explained to you why we're doing this podcast.

[Georgia Hardstark]

All right, well, this one's called My Dad Sent a Cult Leader to Jail. Hello, ladies. Let's dive right in. It's November of 1980 in Fruzeburg, New York, and it says, pronounced exactly as it's spelled, fruzberg. It's the first day of hunting season and my dad ron, who is 18 years old at the time, and his stepdad Harvey, are driving through the country to their normal hunting spot. As they crest a hill, they see a hunter standing by his car, holding his rifle pointed towards the ground. He's being confronted by another man, also holding a rifle, not quite pointed at him, but ready to be aimed as he waves his other arm at him, obviously pissed off. Harvey, the stepdad instantly recognizes the man as Calvin of Oak Knoll. Yes, this is his real name. Calvin of Oak Knoll is a self proclaimed religious leader and founder of the Religious Society of Families, which only ever had seven members, including his wife. Think naked gardening, tax evasion, and getting into tiffs with the government over planes flying through his airspace.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Anyway, Harvey sees this plane.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wait, how far up does your airspace go if you own property?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I can't imagine it does. I'd say 10ft, 20ft. What do you think?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, let us know what? And also, what's. Does airspace count when a plane can fly over it? Like, what's the. What's the definition?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, it's just the air and space above your house.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, but how high above the roof? That's the question. Yeah, aviators. Let us know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Let us know.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Anyway, Harvey sees this confrontation going down and says to my dad that they are getting the hell out of there because this is not going to end well. My dad and Harvey quickly turn down a road when they hear the sound of a gunshot. While neither of them witnessed the shooting, they both Saw the hunter lying in the road and Calvin of Oak Knoll walking away very quickly, holding a rifle in each hand. My dad recalls making eye contact with Calvin and seeing nothing but pure crazy in his eyes. My dad and Harvey immediately drove to the nearest house and called 911. Calvin of Oak Knoll was confronted by two game wardens right after this happened, where he explained that he shot the victim because, quote, he argued with me. And you don't argue with a man with a gun. Yeah, but they both had guns.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right, but I mean, it's who's willing, right?

[Georgia Hardstark]

And because the victim, quote, had his gun pointed at my feet, I would have none of that. So I shot him. He also admitted later that he didn't know whether the victim's gun was loaded. And in reference to his own gun, he stated, quote, this is a 3030 RIF. I'm sure it does a good job. So obviously the man had a few loose screws.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, he's not even answering the question asked.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No. State troopers were quickly called to the scene. And after giving their statements, my dad and Harvey were driven in the back of one of the troopers vehicles close enough to the scene so that they could identify the shooter. Months later, my dad had to testify in preliminary hearing at a small courthouse in Fruzburg. My dad recalls sitting in a small room upstairs waiting to be called in to testify when he heard, quote, bodies falling. Apparently one of Calvin's followers had forced his way in with a gun and was trying to get to the witnesses.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Holy shit.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Luckily he was stopped or else I would probably not exist to write this story. Calvin of Oaknall was charged with murder in the second degree and sentenced to a minimum of 25 years to life in prison. He spent the remainder of his life in prison where he died in August of 1999. The victim was Douglas Kelly. He was a 57 year old husband and father. And while I could not find much about him, the murder victim, my dad recalls meeting the son after the hearing. He approached my dad and shook his hand, thanking him for putting the man who killed his father in jail. The son passed away in August of 2024, but was a loving husband, father, grandfather and world renowned powerlifter. Oh, stay sexy and don't confront cult leaders with guns. Miranda G. She. Her, hers.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Miranda's like her dad was front and center.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

For his own hometown. I mean, that's horrifying.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Absolutely.

[C]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

All right, here's my number two. The subject line is faking injury backfire stories. And then it says, hi, Buttes. I'm up. You know that's what my dad calls us. No, you beauts.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Cute.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm up with my toddler. A murderino in the making in the middle of the night for the billionth time. How do they do it, those parents? Toddler. How do they do it? Don't know the amount of. Get out of my room. I would if I was a parent for the billionth time. And I just remembered this dumb thing I did when I was 13. That's so perfect.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's what we want.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I don't know if this has ever been requested and I'll try to keep it short, but I am a bit word vomity. Hey, we relate. Welcome. So I was 13, around 2005. I was a good enough kid starting my emo phase. And then in parentheses, it's not a phase. I was okay in school, but so disorganized and never did my homework. Hi. Especially for classes I didn't like. Well, one such day came along and my class is queued up outside my drama class and my friend asked me if I'd done my maths homework. British.

[Georgia Hardstark]

British.

[Karen Kilgariff]

My maths homework for the next lesson. Obviously I hadn't. So my probably undiagnosed ADHD brain set into action, thinking how I could get out of the consequences and probably detention. This is how I spent every day of high school.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Just like scheming, plotting and scheming.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just the amount of work I would have to do to get out of the consequences of the little work it would have taken to just do homework. Totally sat in drama class. British Britishism. Sat in drama class. I turned to my friend and just casually mentioned that I could no longer see through my right eye. What? Yeah, it's just gone black. I say as nonchalant as possible. My friend got up and discreetly informed my teacher, who sent me straight to the school nurse. I think everyone involved was mildly freaking out, especially as from a now adult perspective, I imagine that they all thought it was some massive brain injury or something.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God. You can't fake blindness. Partial blindness.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, don't tell that to 8 and 10 year old Lauren Karen Kilgariff. That's all. I told you that story a thousand times. Walking around Mervyn's because we were copying Mary from Little House on the Prairie, she went blind. So my sister was pretending to guide me so I would.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God, stare up at the.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Ceiling, kind of smiling. I thought that's what it looked like. Anyhow, no one told us. Okay, so the school nurse called my mom who couldn't come to get me, so called my dad who picked me up and threw 500 questions in my directions about the loss of vision. I did my best to just say it happened quickly. No, I can't see anything. Just the right eye, it's just black. At my dad's house, my stepmom asked me all the same questions and I answered the same answers. Smart. A and E were called. So I think that's 911, like ambulance. I needed to immediately go to hospital. Mom picked me up from my dad's and drove me to. Oh, that's something. In emergency it's their ambulance. In emergency it's their emergency room, I believe. God, we're smart. With the same 500 questions with the same answers. No.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Anyway, I'm taking it too far.

[Karen Kilgariff]

On the way, right. On the way to A and E, I realized that this was potentially more serious than I'd read. Oh my. Waiting to see some kind of specialist eye doctor, I exclaimed to mum that it seems to be grayish now. I can roughly make shapes out. After a full eye exam. The doctors obviously couldn't find anything wrong with me, but sternly prepared me for what to do if it happened again. I'd like to point out that I never dramatized it even a little bit. So how it got this far remains a mystery. Because you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Because it could have been a brain injury.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, that's right. Oh my God. A long awaited brain tumor sitting there. Any number of. A fucking 13 year old stroke. A rare junior high stroke.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Like a problem that. That symptom. Like a huge problem that this small.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Symptom is showing that you randomly made up.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. That you're not freaking out about. Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And just to this day this person's like. I mean, I don't know what they were like is like I didn't make a big deal. Why did they have to make a big deal? Cause you picked the thing where it's like you didn't pick your shoulder.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, my shoulder hurts. This would have worked.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The organ closest to my brain isn't working right. All Right. We don't want to yell at you, but Jesus fucking Christ. Okay. Oh, they say. Sorry. The end of that is so how it got this far remains a mystery. Unless that's a sign of a tumor I don't know about. That's literally what it is. Mom didn't talk to me on the way home and we never brought it up again. I still forgot or deliberately didn't do homework. But instead I just went to detention. Luckily, none of my family listened to this. Except for when I make my partner listen to all the stories I've already told him. Thanks to all the NHS staff, I wasted time. Thanks to all the NHS staff, I wasted time for that day. They didn't deserve my bullshit. Thanks for whoever reads this. Even if it doesn't end up on the pod. That's nice. Stay sexy. And I guess don't fake a possible brain injury to get out of homework. Love to you all. Becky.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's so good.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's so funny.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's exactly what we want.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's exactly who we are. I know an opposite story, which is Bradford, who works in our legal department here at. Exactly. Right. I worked with him at Neil DeGeneres talk show for five years. And one day he had. He was blind in one eye. In one eye. And had been since he was a teenager. And one day I walked into his office to get something from him and he goes, oh, hold on, hold on. I can see through my other eye right now. What? And for like a couple hours that day, I think it was like four the afternoon he had his vision back. And then it went away again. Yep.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's psychological then.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry, Bradford, we're gonna have to get him on the pod to have him explain it all. Isn't that crazy?

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's so crazy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I know. And I was there for it. It was really exciting.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Maybe you're the reason. You're like an angel walked in the room.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's finally the proof.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Your beauty was so beautiful. Like cut through blindness.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It cut through producing a daily fucking talk show that was killing us all inside.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. His eye was like, you don't want to be here. And went black again.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye. This is awful.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Just. He's one. Okay. Speaking of, here's a one called Laughing at Inappropriate Times. Hi. What is up, my guys? Seven year listener, multiple times writer. I think honestly, they might be sitting in my draft still. I'm just gonna jump right in. I'm not sure if you've ever asked for a story of laughing at times when you most definitely shouldn't. But I'm gonna tell you, we want it. You need it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, hell yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hell yeah. Two years ago, my best friend's mom sadly passed away. Me and my boyfriend attended both the funeral and the wake the day prior. And I was definitely crying a lot already, but for different reasons. The day of the actual funeral, we were waiting for the service to begin when the funeral director, a tall, maybe 70ish year old man, started to walk down the center aisle of people and call to our attention. He started saying something along the lines of, all right everyone, we're gonna begin shortly, if you could just. And then proceeded to trip and fall like a whole dang tree being cut down in the forest. I'm not lying when I say he was stiff as a board and he all caps face planted. So naturally, everyone's reaction was to gasp. The most dramatic gasp that's ever been gasped. And absolute silence followed. Then there's me, my boyfriend, and the girl sitting next to us absolutely cracking the fuck up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. A priest eating it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

A priest eating it. And it sounds like going over like a redwood tree.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We were trying so hard to hold it in. And when we looked to my best friend who was at her mother's funeral and saw she was also trying not to laugh and was standing in the front of the room with her sister having the same reaction as us, we lost it. Yeah, he was okay. And he stood up and carried on like nothing happened. But that didn't stop me and my boyfriend from having tears streaming down our faces the entire service. Both from being sad and also from picturing this dude fall over like a log. I actually had to ask my boyfriend to leave the room cause it was so inappropriate and he would not stop and was choking from trying to hold it in. But it was the funniest, most movie like fall in reaction I've ever seen and heard.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You would already be laughing at the fall.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then the context makes it triple pressure. Now you're laughing and then trying to.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hold it in so hard you can't.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But then it goes wider than that. Where then you're kind of like, what are all these feelings I'm feeling like now it's. Your brain just goes, oh, throw it all up there. Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I need this. I need this. It's been a while. Oh my God. We still talk about it and we'll. And it will make me laugh every time. I'm glad something like that happened and made probably the hardest day of my friend's life a little silly. For a short period of time and that her family was able to laugh about it too. Just wanted to send in a quickie. And I hope more people have stories like this they want to share too. Anyways, bye. L M A O Cassie, Cassie, Cassie. Great topic, Great topic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Great. I know I've overstoried this episode already, but I do have a fast one.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And she asked. Cassie asked. So I would like to answer. I would like to write in mine back to her. My uncle Martin just died, and he is my dad's oldest brother. He's the oldest brother of the family. He was a teacher at the fire college in San Francisco. So for a certain generation of San Francisco fireman, he's the one that taught them how to do it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And so a lot of people knew him. He's a great man, hilarious, lovely. And he kind of looked a little bit like the wizard of Oz.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, wow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So we'd always go, there were men in my town. And, like, we'd always kind of do impressions of him. But he's wonderful man and lived a great life. All great. His funeral was in this beautiful, very modern church where, you know, usually there's a crucifix. They all look relatively the same and they're pretty grim up at the front, but in this church, the Jesus wasn't hanging on the cross. It's as if the Jesus was trying to. They're trying to represent him rising up through to heaven. So he's kind of, like free and one arm is up. And it's very art, like, very artistic. And my Aunt Mary, who is a nun of like 65 years, who's sitting next to me, and it's very sad. Like, it's the saddest point. My family's sick because this is what we do. This is what we live for. And she leans over to me and she goes, honey, do you think that Jesus is playing volleyball?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Like, it's about. Like, he's trying to fight.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They're trying to. Like, it's like that. Like, he's rising up. And I'm like, you're a nun. Shut the fuck up. You're a nun. That makes it 300 times funnier.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, it's so good.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Jesus trying to spike. It's like those photos of, like, when you're trying to hit. The little boy's hitting a baseball and Jesus is behind you. This is just a fucking.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's him by himself. He's like, jesus is not helping you. I can do it by fucking self. Jesus is spiking on your Life.

[Georgia Hardstark]

For once, can Jesus have his own sport?

[Karen Kilgariff]

He is the star of this team. Let him.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Amazing Cassie.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's my hometown. To your.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Send him in, everyone. Inappropriate crying. I mean, laughing. Inappropriate. Crying is funny, too.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Inappropriate. Crying's great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Laughing's fun, too.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Laughing's a real joy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. I have one more. Do you have one more?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I have one more, yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And then I have one more.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Did I read that one or did you?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I think I did.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, so it's my turn.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I know it. There was a second where I was.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Like, okay, I have to stop the cross talk. I just distract myself. Yes. This is my last one. Hello, Buried treasure story.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Dear beautiful MFM Queensland. That's nice. Thank you. First off, your podcast is the only one I listen to religiously. You have kept me company on my commute to work for an amusement. For an amusement park. Which. Side note, never ride the zipper. Trust me on this one.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, I wouldn't anyways. But I love confirmation.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, hell no. And everybody go back and listen and watch the Nick Terry Zipper MFM animated, because I do tell a zipper story. Oh, that thing. Okay. And your voices have become my Monday to Thursday happy place. Or Monday and Thursday.

[Georgia Hardstark]

There's a Wednesday episode now, too. Just. Just saying.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, let's get some more days of the week in there, please.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Can we get some love for the rewind episodes?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Everyone, we need all of your time. Okay? It literally says okay. Okay, I need to know. Does this story make anyone else as unhinged as it makes me? Because I've been holding onto this frustration for years, and I feel like you two are the only ones who will understand. Also, since I know you love a good buried treas. Buckle up. So my husband is from France, and there's this family lore on his dad's side that they are direct descendants of Hector Berlioz. Yes. The famous composer. I should know, because my dad is obsessed with classical music, and I'm sure he said it to me a thousand times.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I've never heard of it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I bet you right now if we played. If we could play his. And I bet we can, because it's over 100 years old. But if we played, like, his most famous thing. Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We'd be like, oh, I know that. Yeah, Jam.

[Karen Kilgariff]

His grandmother was the one who carried this story. But no one in the family ever seemed all that interested. Enter me, a person with multiple advanced degrees in classical music, who immediately lost my damn mind upon hearing this. I mean, how cool is it that my Husband. A composer himself could be connected to one of the greats. But of course there's drama. The connection is from an illegitimate child. Cue Victorian era pearl clutching. Apparently Berlioz's son had an affair with a maid. And the result was a daughter. That there's documentation that Berlioz actually supported her financially. His granddaughter. I think my husband's great, great, great grandmother. Was sent to some kind of boarding house. Sent her money and supposedly left her a violin.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

One of his violins. Painful side note. My husband's grandmother claimed she had the violin. And she gave it not to my composer husband. But to a cousin who doesn't even play music.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Fine. Whatever. Family politics. But then she also had a mysterious box that she would never let anyone see. When questioned, she'd just vaguely say that they could open it when she died.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, I. I'm gonna have a mysterious box when I'm an old lady. For sure.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Start it now.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Starting it now. Just full of cats, whiskers.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She constantly teased the family about hidden knowledge. But never actually revealed what was inside. She was apparently pretty secretive. And I guess everyone just respected that. Weirdly. Anyway. Naturally, my brain went wild. Was it banknotes? Letters? Unfinished symphonies? Proof that my husband's family is the true heir to the Berlioz legacy. We were finally going to get answers. Except one week before she died. She told my father in law not to open the box. And instead bury it with her.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No. Absolutely not. Okay, Grandma. See you later. No, we'll definitely do that. Grandma.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sounds good.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Sounds great.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What do you want me to do? Sign paper.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I'll shake hands. And goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Shake hands with God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Good night.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And this man, whom I love dearly. Even though I cringe at this life choice. Followed her instructions to the letter. He didn't even crack the lid. He put the box in a coffin without ever looking inside. All caps. And he still has the key. I was gobsmacked. Who does this? Who buries what could be priceless historical documents. Without taking just a little peek?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I bet he did. And it was like. Like old school pornography with his grandma in it. So he was like, okay, I gotta take this to my grave too. He had to have looked. And he deserved it. One person, the person who was promised it, who has to bury it with him, is allowed a peek?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I think so, yeah. You were the trusted heir to the mystery box.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Look inside and then lie to whoever you need to lie to to cover what the problem is. But what's the problem?

[Georgia Hardstark]

No problem. She did she? Did.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And also guess what did she do? Have sex before marriage?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So did 89% of every human being on earth. Like, what are you talking about?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, we're still going. De Berlioz Museum in France might want whatever was in that box. And yet here we are. Mystery forever, sealed in the ground. This is driving me crazy. Do I casually write to them suggesting an exhumation? Maybe. Would my in laws disown me? Almost certainly. I am sorry to have to share this story, and I hope it doesn't drive you as nuts as it does me, but am I crazy here or rightfully.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We got your back, correct?

[Karen Kilgariff]

A thousand percent.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And you knew we would.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I will never know what was in that fucking box of secrets. And I will never be okay. Nor will any of us. Now that's okay. Stay sexy and always look in the box before burying potential treasure. Melissa.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Then there's P.S. oh, and it says P.S. why do you pronounce treasure like treasure? Did I miss an episode where this was explained? It haunts. Oh, it's you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What is it?

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's me. It's me doing an impression of my friend Lydia Lewis, who used to do this baby talk voice, like, just kind of being funny. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Lydia. Where she would kind of. And she would, like, talk to her cats like that. Wouldn't she be like, Mr. Me when you want cat talk? Treasure. I think I ripped it off from her or my friend Alicia Gonzalez.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I just always accepted it. I never asked its origin. I was just like. That sounds right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sometimes that happens when, like, you're young and somebody does a funny thing and then you can't say it a different way.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Like, it feels almost like you and diamonds are the same thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Diamonds. That's me doing an impression of Natasha Leggero.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, okay. All right. Well, okay. I have one left.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay. Hometown festivals, which we love to hear about always. This is a fucking good one. I live in Ontario. Oregon. Just starts like that. There's not much here besides weed, onions and potatoes. Sounds like a great stew.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's like a nice winter's night.

[Georgia Hardstark]

One of the biggest suppliers of jobs in town is the Oreida potato plant. Famous it was there in 1953 that instead of throwing the scraps of potatoes that weren't worthy enough to be French fries to the livestock. That one F. Griggs had an idea. He smashed all the extras together and created the Tater Tot.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, F. What? Say his name again.

[Georgia Hardstark]

F. Griggs Just F. The initial F. F. Francis. I'm gonna go.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Francis Frank Frankenstein.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes, friends. Cause he mashed him. That's good. Yes, friends. The tater tot was invented in my hometown.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Every year in September, we throw a tater tot festival. We have live music, face painting, and of course, tater tots. Each vendor competes for the best tot. I know. Mark your calendar for real, though? Yeah. It's still growing as a festival, but our town tries to do it big. The main street is shut down and there's many vendors selling handmade trinkets. I'll save you each a tot when you come visit. Ssdgm. Lindsay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She her Lindsay. This is like true breaking news.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Tater Tot Festival.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Tater Tot Festival in. Was it Oregon?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, that's easy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's a two hour flight.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Chili cheese tater tots. Do you think those exist?

[Karen Kilgariff]

They fucking must. They better.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You mean like chili cheese fries but tater tot instead. I mean, and also, what else? You know, they make some sort of weird tater tot dessert that you're like, why is this so delicious?

[Georgia Hardstark]

With vanilla ice cream or something?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, like magic shell on tater tots.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, God, that's disgusting. Hey, tell us your story, whatever it is, at my favorite murdermail.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This must be the longest minisode I've ever done. There's nothing mini about this one.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Thank. Thank you guys for listening so much.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We appreciate you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an exactly right production.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squilacci.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometown to my favorite murdermail.com.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my favorite murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye.