MFM Minisode 431 - My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

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[00:02]
A
This is exactly right. You know those commercials where a single impossibly shiny car glides down a beautiful winding country road with a horse running along a fence?
[00:13]
B
Oh yeah, that's not real life.
[00:15]
A
No, but Hyundai's available Class Exclusive advanced safety features are designed for the roads we actually drive on, helping to keep you and your family protected.
[00:24]
B
Hyundai vehicles are equipped with a standard Driver Attention Warning system, which constantly monitors your attention levels.
[00:30]
A
Learn more about Hyundai at Hyundai USA or call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
[00:37]
B
That's H Y U N d a I usa.com or call 562-314-4603. Goodbye. If you've got a million tabs open in your brain at all times, you don't need a wireless service that slows you down.
[00:51]
A
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B
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[01:06]
A
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[01:07]
B
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[01:12]
A
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[01:16]
B
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[01:38]
A
That make up your whole world.
[01:40]
B
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[01:58]
A
My savior. Hello, hello and welcome to my favorite murder, the miniso.
[02:13]
B
That's right. We read you your stories about anything and everything.
[02:17]
A
And your grandma.
[02:18]
B
And your grandma.
[02:19]
A
You want to go first?
[02:20]
B
Sure. Mine is called my own f politeness Story. Greetings Karen, Georgia, pets and all fellow murderinos I'm writing. As a longtime listener, I'm a bit behind on the rewinds, but catching up. My wife fondly refers to you as my potty mouthed podcast girlfriends.
[02:39]
A
Aw.
[02:40]
B
After hearing the Adelaide Oval abduction story, I was reminded of a situation for my own career that perfectly embodies your f politeness mantra.
[02:49]
A
Yay.
[02:50]
B
I retired from a major LA metro law enforcement agency after 32 years, so I've got plenty of stories.
[02:57]
A
The LAPD by chance.
[02:59]
B
Oh my God. But this one felt particularly relevant one day during my long commute home, LA traffic. You know the drill. I was taking the streets, trying to avoid the freeways. Something caught my eye. That gut feeling you get when something just isn't right. I saw a young girl, maybe 12 or 13, walking alone and a station wagon was slowly following her. The driver was leaning over trying to talk to her through the passenger window. Her body language screamed that she was uncomfortable. I immediately made a U turn and pulled in behind the station wagon. As I did, the station wagon pulled into a driveway ahead of us. I spoke to the girl, identified myself as a police officer and asked if she knew the man. She shook her head no. I told her to stay close. Then I then pulled into the driveway, blocking the station wagon in. And with my badge in one hand and my gun drawn, I ordered the driver to turn off the car and show his hands. The girl stayed behind me, shaken, using my cell phone, a new thing back then. I called the local police, identifying myself as an off duty officer and explicitly stating that I was the black guy holding a gun on the Bad Gu to avoid any misunderstandings in North Orange County.
[04:08]
A
Jesus Christ.
[04:10]
B
During the three or four minute wait for the local coppers, the guy tried to give me a story about how he was innocent, pleading for me to let him go. But I wasn't buying it. When the local officers arrived and interviewed the girl, we learned that he had been a substitute mailman who had delivered to her mom's house and had been bothering her. She said he made her extremely uncomfortable and this was the first time he had approached her on her way home from school. He was easily in his late 30s and she was clearly very young. Based on her statement and what I witnessed, he was arrested for annoying a minor. He later pleaded guilty, likely getting probation on a plea deal. I was never called to testify, which is frustrating. I just hope he hasn't preyed on any other children. Ssdgm. And remember, screw politeness. You don't mind your own business. M Los Angeles.
[04:56]
A
M Los Angeles. Especially if you're an off duty police officer.
[04:59]
B
Totally.
[05:00]
A
Yeah. The ultimate in the duty to fuck politeness. Please God, as these people are out there's something about and I just in my mind that was like a early 80s shitty broken down brown station. That's that Just beware.
[05:18]
B
Totally.
[05:19]
A
We'll change it up a little bit. I won't read you the subject line. It says hi Karen, Georgia, sweet animals and other wonderful humans. There's a. If you're watching this on video, there's a whole control room filled with wonderful humans who make this show. They're right over there. Maybe someday we'll show them to you as they make the show.
[05:37]
B
If they want, if they let us.
[05:38]
A
We put a camera in there. They're all like, no. My little sister went to college in Rochester, New York, and worked nights at a bar near her campus. She lived off campus with her friends in a super cute old house in a neighborhood of college kids. Megan had always been a badass, take no shit kind of girl. Parentheses. Probably because she's the baby and has two older sisters. Yeah. One day she came home from work and noticed a chair under her bedroom window, which was on the first floor.
[06:08]
B
Uh oh.
[06:09]
A
Now, this was an older house, so the windows were about 6ft off the ground. Not easy to see into or get into. She thought it might be something another drunk college kid did and forgot about it. A few days later, she noticed her window AC unit had been tampered with from the outside. She called my dad and he arrived the next day to put in window alarms, a security camera, and floodlights. Then she came home one day from class and happened to notice some movement in her backyard. She stepped outside and all caps someone in her bushes.
[06:40]
B
Oh my God.
[06:41]
A
Most people might scream, run back inside and lock the doors and call the police, et cetera. Not Megan. She yelled at him so loud, he ran out of the bushes, through the yard and into the street. She chased him. I'll stop right here and say, do not ever do this.
[06:54]
B
No, don't chase anyone.
[06:55]
A
Don't ever do this. But Megan. She's a wild one. Yeah. And it's her story, so let's tell it.
[07:01]
B
Okay.
[07:02]
A
She ran after him down the middle of the street, still yelling and throwing rocks, sticks, and even her shoes.
[07:08]
B
Damn. Megan.
[07:10]
A
A few other college kids saw the commotion and tried to help her catch him. Yes, it's a mini night stalker situation.
[07:16]
B
Yeah.
[07:17]
A
He got in a car and drove off. She later found a grocery store receipt in her backyard and knew immediately it had to be his. She turned it into the police so they could trace it back to him. I, of course, lost my shit when I heard this. I mailed her pepper spray and a taser. But she wanted to buy a bear trap. Megan.
[07:38]
B
I mean, it'd work.
[07:39]
A
Megan.
[07:40]
B
That'd be so funny.
[07:40]
A
Megan. Stop it.
[07:41]
B
I love Megan.
[07:43]
A
Thankfully, I talked her out of that. Drunk college kids in a bear trap is a disaster waiting to happen. Right, Megan? I just want to invite A few months later, she went to a Buffalo Bills game and forgot she had the pepper spray on her keychain. Security wouldn't let her carry it in the stadium, obviously, and so she wasn't allowed in. She was sent a letter in the mail telling her she was banned from the stadium for having. Having a weapon.
[08:07]
B
What?
[08:08]
A
I'm pretty sure she has that letter framed.
[08:10]
B
Nice.
[08:12]
A
It's all a funny story now, but a few years ago, we had found out that the guy hiding in my little sister's bushes had been arrested and charged with serial rape.
[08:21]
B
Holy.
[08:22]
A
Because it's always. That's the beginning. That's step one.
[08:25]
B
Yeah. He's not innocently casing the joint of a young female by herself.
[08:29]
A
It's not an 80s movie where being a peeping Tom is charming, charming motherfuckers. He had been stalking, assaulting, and raping college women all over that neighborhood by following them home and sneaking into their bedrooms. Super scary. And I can't believe my little sister chased his ass down the street and threw her shoes at him. God, I love her. Yeah, I love her, too. Stay sexy and don't be afraid to be scarier than the creepy guy stalking you. Stephanie. P.S. megan is now a traveling oncology nurse.
[09:00]
B
Whoa.
[09:00]
A
Working with cancer patients of all ages. She is my hero. And the most amazing human I know.
[09:06]
B
Oh, my God.
[09:07]
A
Fuck, yeah. Megan.
[09:08]
B
Megan. Like, don't chase all that stuff. But she showed him she was a fighter. And he's like, I'm not coming back to this house.
[09:14]
A
Right?
[09:15]
B
Which is pretty incredible.
[09:16]
A
And she's like, don't, because I'll trap you like a bear. And then I'll enter you in a circus and make you dance, you perv. You know, Georgia, they always tell you to touch grass, to spend time in nature, but what if I told you that nature can be boxed up and delivered right to your door?
[09:33]
B
Well, now you can, thanks to Fast Growing Trees.
[09:36]
A
Did you know Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers new to plants or gardening? No problem. The website has everything you need. Plus each plant comes with clear care instructions.
[09:49]
B
Plus, get support from their trained plant experts who are on call to help you plan your landscape, choose the right plants, and learn how to care for them.
[09:56]
A
God, I need to learn how to care for plants. I would love to get this service and just have somebody, like, teaching me as I have, like, a beautiful tree or plant in my house, like, actually do this today. This is how you don't kill it.
[10:08]
B
When do I water it?
[10:09]
A
Yes.
[10:09]
B
What season Do I trim it? I don't know and I don't want to ask my mom cuz then I get a lecture.
[10:14]
A
This spring they have the best deals for your yard, up to half off on select plants and other deals.
[10:19]
B
And listeners to our show get 15% off their first purchase when using the code MFM at checkout.
[10:25]
A
That's an additional 15% off at fast growing trees.com using the code MFM at checkout.
[10:30]
B
Fast growing trees.com code MFM now is the perfect time to plan.
[10:34]
A
Use MFM to save today. Offers valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply.
[10:39]
B
Goodbye. Spring is in the air. And that means open windows, outdoor plans, and more time away from home. All the things that burglars love.
[10:47]
A
Well, bad news, burglars. Now you can protect your home with Simplisafe.
[10:52]
B
With Simplisafe, millions of Americans enjoy greater security and peace of mind every time they arm their system.
[10:57]
A
Traditional security systems only take action after somebody has already broken in. That's too late.
[11:02]
B
But with active guard outdoor protection, Simplisafe's monitoring agents closely watch your property and stop crimes before they happen.
[11:09]
A
The cameras use advanced AI to distinguish between friendly faces like family and neighbors, and potential threats, alerting agents to suspicious individuals before they get close to your home.
[11:19]
B
So I get that ping on my phone, on my app that tells me when there's someone like, on my lawn, I'm such an old lady or like, you know, walking up my driveway because I live up off the street and you shouldn't be there if you're not meant to be there. So like, if I get the ping that someone's on my lawn and I'm like, I know something's up and I can check it before they even get to the door or break in in the window. It's great.
[11:42]
A
Visit simplisafe.com fave to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free.
[11:49]
B
That's simply safe.com fav.
[11:51]
A
There's no safe like simply safe. Goodbye.
[11:57]
B
Okay, this next one's called Near Death Experience and why I maybe Should Never have been born?
[12:03]
A
I can't be true because we need emails and you're providing them. So this is your destiny.
[12:07]
B
Hey, MFM gang. Day one listener here. I've lived in five states and had three baby girls since I first started listening, and you guys have been one of the constants in my life.
[12:17]
A
Aw.
[12:18]
B
So thank you for that and a whole lot more. Let's get into it back in the 80s. Long before I was born and my parents were married, they had begun dating in secret because my dad is 19 and a half years older than my mom. Oh, and it says in parentheses. Gross. My grandmother would not have approved. And then it says she came around eventually, RIP. Because my dad was a well known dentist in our relatively small town. So she probably was like 22 if he was 44 or like 40 or something.
[12:48]
A
Right? Yeah, you know, was he 40, though?
[12:50]
B
I hope so. I don't know. Let's just hope for the best. He and my mom would go on dates in a neighboring town about an hour away, where they were less likely to be recognized by anyone. Shit, this is the 80s. It was on their way back from one of these dates on a relatively unfrequented road, that my dad decided to teach my mom how to drive stick shift in his brand new car. A Porsche 911, of course. Is that how you say it?
[13:13]
A
Yes.
[13:13]
B
Porsche 911. So we got an older dentist with a Porsche 911 dating a woman 20 years his junior, which, if you don't know, is a tiny and flashy two door sports car.
[13:24]
A
Yeah, Porsche 911s were all the rage in like the 80s.
[13:27]
B
For the older dentists.
[13:28]
A
For the older dentists. Finance pros, guys at Adco.
[13:32]
B
My mom started out all right, shifting into gear with relative ease. But when it came time to get up over a hill that led to a small narrow bridge, she panicked and stalled out. They were stuck on the uphill. My mom not quite able to see what might be coming over the narrow bridge from the other side. As my dad tells it, he was able to see and spotted a large logging truck, a la Final Destination, headed their way and told my mom she needed to move the car. Now, that's a lot of pressure. Yeah, chill. It's a great way to get someone to. You're in sticks if you're grinding the gears over and over again.
[14:07]
A
Yep.
[14:08]
B
She kept working at getting the car into gear and in near tears, looked up to ask my dad for help, only to realize he had opened the door, hopped out and abandoned her and the car and was running down the hill away from the ongoing truck.
[14:21]
A
Oh, no.
[14:23]
B
I mean, sorry. The world needs dentists.
[14:25]
A
They got married. I know. The world needs dentists. Save yourself, doctor.
[14:31]
B
By some miracle, my mom got the car going and was able to crest the hill and move out of the way just in time for the large truck to cross. The driver laying on his horn as he passed all caps with absolutely no help from My dad. My mom still brings up this story and is always quick to note how my dad thought to save himself first before thinking of anything and anyone else. She still fucking married him.
[14:52]
A
She still married him.
[14:54]
B
Is that a happy ending? Are we gonna call it that?
[14:56]
A
Well, it depends. We have to listen to the rest of the email.
[14:59]
B
Fortunately, my mom got that car moving and saved herself and the expensive car. And despite this huge red flag, she stayed with my dad. They got married and had me a few years later. So it's an ending. It's definitely an ending. I mean, stay sexy and don't count on your problematically older lover to save you. Alex. She her. I bet you Alex goes to therapy. I bet you anything Alex can laugh at it because she's been too. So she has her.
[15:25]
A
She has no choice. Which is how it is for most of us. I mean, that is the fucking funniest thing of all time. It's just like, well, at least you know what you're dealing with now.
[15:35]
B
Yeah, yeah, something went right. Cause they got married.
[15:37]
A
So yeah, you married it.
[15:39]
B
You call. I mean, marriage isn't always a happy ending.
[15:42]
A
If I was that young woman, and I mean young woman, I would have been like, it's my car now.
[15:48]
B
Yes, that's the law.
[15:49]
A
The email subject line is Carl's face. Treasure in old house. Three minute read.
[15:54]
B
Amazing.
[15:55]
A
Hello aunties. My partner and I bought our first home last year in a small town in the middle of Connecticut. We've always had dreams of buying a mid century fixer upper and last year we finally found it. This home fell into disrepair after the previous owners had passed and it ultimately went to a bank. All we were told was the couple who lived there built the house and lived there until passing.
[16:17]
B
Wow.
[16:17]
A
Yeah. Georgia would have loved our first tour of this time capsule as nothing had been updated in this house since the the 50s. Dude, imagine that wallpaper.
[16:28]
B
Gorgeous.
[16:29]
A
Through our final walkthrough, I found that we had some serious crawl spaces on the second floor that were big enough for a bunch of ghosts, stalkers and deviants to have parties in. Needless to say that when we moved in, I found a great place for a dresser or chair right in front of the crawl space doors. Fast forward to a few months after our purchase and my partner and I were realizing that the funds we had put aside for restoring our home were quickly dwindling. We had finished a few necessary projects. We were quickly approaching winter with an 1980s furnace and water heater that were not gonna hold out for the colder months. Thank You New England winters around the same time, we had some family come stay with us, Two of them being my martorino cousins who were excited to get a top to bottom tour of the house. And to my disappointment, they had me move my strategically placed furniture from the crawl space doors so they could have a peek. I ushered them in, and we traversed the dark space with our phone lights. As much as I would have rather we didn't. As much as I would have rathered we didn't. We didn't. What a wonderful clause. I'm glad we did, because one of my cousins found what looked to be an old lockbox tucked away behind a support beam.
[17:39]
B
Oh, shit.
[17:39]
A
You gotta go in those old crawl spaces.
[17:42]
B
We had them and we blocked most of them off.
[17:45]
A
You didn't check?
[17:47]
B
I mean, it was like, there's no reason for anyone to have gone in there. So, yeah, there's probably a lockbox in there.
[17:52]
A
Except to hide their treasure.
[17:54]
B
It's a perfect place, clearly, to hide stuff.
[17:56]
A
Yeah, maybe. You know, I just thought of this, and it's so wrong. I was like, you could hire a task rabbit and somebody could come do it for you. And it's like, can you imagine the nightmare? They're like, hey, do you want me to move some furniture? No, get into that crawl space. Horrifying. Okay. Lockbox behind the support beam. The thing weighed a ton, and we brought it outside in the backyard, crowbars and hammers in hand. That'd be so fun.
[18:19]
B
Oh, how exciting.
[18:20]
A
After a proper beating on this thing, we finally pried it open to find it full of old coins.
[18:26]
B
Yes.
[18:29]
A
And then it says, q Goonies theme music. Definitely my inner child. Dreams had come true. I didn't even care what the coins amounted to. Finding literal treasure in an old house is priceless. But this is reality, and we are adults. So my partner and I took the old coins to be appraised. We like to think that the old people who owned our house saw how much we loved and appreciated their hard work and wanted to pay it forward to us. So when we left the coin appraisers $5,000 richer, we knew exactly what we would do with it. Yes, our mid century dream home has since been restored, and we had a very warm winter thanks to that treasure.
[19:04]
B
Yes.
[19:05]
A
Stay sexy and don't be afraid of crawl spaces.
[19:08]
B
L. Oh, my God. That's so satisfying.
[19:10]
A
That's also a great number. It's like 5,000. Yeah, that's like solid check of like, here, go do some good. Go take care of some stuff.
[19:18]
B
Go take care of that stuff. It's that annoying stuff stuff when you put money into a house and it's nothing you can see, right? So it's just like frustrating until it.
[19:29]
A
Gets real cold and you're like do right right?
[19:34]
B
There are probably a billion furniture options out there. We didn't count but that number feels right.
[19:39]
A
So how do you find the perfect piece?
[19:41]
B
Easy. You go to Article.
[19:42]
A
Article believes in delightful design for every home and thanks to their online only model they have some really delightful prices too.
[19:49]
B
Article makes furniture shopping a breeze with its carefully selected selected styles from mid century modern to boho and everything in between.
[19:56]
A
Check out their near dresser. It's beautiful and practical which is a deadly combination.
[20:01]
B
You know we're hard stands of article on this podcast. Everyone knows that we're like BFFs.
[20:07]
A
I mean we couldn't rave more.
[20:09]
B
And it's because everything is so classy, so beautifully made, affordable and so user friendly. Like you don't have to have style to like get stylish stuff from article. They do it for you. So like there's no worry there.
[20:21]
A
Look at that near a dresser on their website. Just go and take a look at that one piece and you will see what we are talking about. It is as mid century as you could get.
[20:30]
B
Seriously. Article is offering our listeners 50 off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more.
[20:35]
A
To claim, visit article.com murder and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.
[20:39]
B
That's a R T I c l e.com murder to get 50 off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more.
[20:45]
A
Goodbye. As the weather starts to get warmer and we can finally go places again, it's time to face a hard truth. Your travel wardrobe is not ready.
[20:54]
B
You can't bring bad fashion on your vacation. They won't let you out of the airport.
[20:59]
A
Fortunately, we all have quints. They have high quality travel essentials at fair prices.
[21:04]
B
With Quint you can get quality luxury essentials without a hefty price tag like lightweight European linen styles from $30, washable silk tops and comfy lounge sets and quints.
[21:14]
A
Also has premium luggage options and stylish tote bags to car. At all.
[21:17]
B
Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Because Quint works directly with top factories, they cut out the middleman and pass the savings onto you.
[21:26]
A
George I don't want to brag or anything but I just got a box of three brand new quint sweaters because I wear my $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that I got years ago so much that I was finally like, I need to freshen this up a little bit.
[21:40]
B
For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quintessential quince.
[21:44]
A
Go to quince.commfm for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
[21:50]
B
That's Q U I N C E dot com mfm to get free shipping and 365 day returns.
[21:55]
A
Quince.commfm Goodbye.
[22:00]
B
My last one's called I'm not telling you. Okay, but it says short and sweet hello to all the wonderful people at mfm. Exactly. Right, Right. Since we're all just submitting stories for funsies now, I have a good one.
[22:14]
A
Great.
[22:14]
B
My dad and my mom have many odd stories from the early days of their dating slash marriage life. My favorite is how my mom met her future Italian in laws. My parents, Steve and Debbie. Thank you.
[22:26]
A
Classic. They met in 1987.
[22:28]
B
That's right. Had been dating for a little while before my dad asked my mom if she would like to meet his family. He invited her over and said his entire family would be there. My mom walked into this house filled with Italians to find a wake happening in the living room. Literally a dead body in a casket in the living room. Casual. This was the early 80s.
[22:49]
A
Yes.
[22:50]
B
My dad had invited my mom to meet his entire family at his dead uncle's wake in some random family member's living room. How romantic. You'd think this would have been a red flag for my mom, but alas, they've been married for almost 40 years and still going strong.
[23:05]
A
Wow.
[23:06]
B
I'd say this is the weirdest story of their relationship, but they literally met at a toga party where my mom was going to buy weed from my dad. This is a good one. This is a sweet one after my weird one.
[23:17]
A
Yeah. So good.
[23:17]
B
Stay sexy and don't meet your future mother in law in front of a corpse. Much love, Stephanie. She her.
[23:23]
A
That's also. I've never been to a wake at a home where the body is in the home, but I know that is like traditional.
[23:30]
B
For sure.
[23:30]
A
Have you ever.
[23:31]
B
No. At a church. But not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
[23:34]
A
Like in the living room is different. Yeah.
[23:35]
B
That's creepy.
[23:36]
A
Yeah. Okay. Ready? Okay. I picked this simply by the subject line and did not read it.
[23:41]
B
Oh, shit.
[23:42]
A
Because the subject line is hot dog justice. Ready?
[23:45]
B
You got it. It has to work.
[23:46]
A
Let's see.
[23:47]
B
Let's make it work.
[23:48]
A
Hi all. I love you, but there's no time to waste on flattery. My Moment has come. It's hot dog justice time.
[23:54]
B
Oh my God.
[23:54]
A
What amazing start.
[23:56]
B
Yes.
[23:56]
A
I feel good about this. Years ago, my dad was involved in the management of the Western Pyrotechnic Association. I think we're golden.
[24:05]
B
Oh my God. We're going. I'm gonna guess festival. Hot dogs, fireworks. Let's hear it.
[24:11]
A
Okay. They'd have a big conference each year in Lake Havasu where they'd build fireworks, shoot them and party. Not necessarily in that order. This particular year, my dad was in charge of providing hot dog buns for the kickoff barbecue. Keep in mind, this is a barbecue for over a thousand sweaty, meat loving, self proclaimed pyromaniacs. So he had to purchase thousands of hot dog buns, enough to fill his green Volvo station wagon to the brim. My dad decided that the best course of action was to purchase the hot dog buns from our local Costco. How else could you do it?
[24:44]
B
Yeah, unless you're a business, you're just.
[24:48]
A
Going to every grocery store in town and just cleaning them out of hot dog buns. Okay, go to Costco. And then packed him into our giant rental van, which he would be using to transport all of his firework gear into the desert. Since I was around 12 at the time and the prime age for providing child labor, I helped my dad unload the hot dog buns which we stacked on every available surface in our yard. We then rushed off to get the rental van. Enter Bodhi, our sweet, highly food motivated lab pit bull mix.
[25:18]
B
Oh no.
[25:21]
A
As my dad and I returned with the van and pulled into our long gravel driveway, we lived in the countryside of the South Bay area. What up, Karen? We saw utter carnage.
[25:32]
B
Oh my God.
[25:33]
A
All around us were whole hot dog buns, parts of hot dog buns, and the tattered remains of the plastic bags that once held them. It truly looked as if there had been a hot dog bun explosion.
[25:45]
B
Bode is like, this is the best moment of my entire life.
[25:49]
A
Bode is like for all those times that you told me to get down totally. And you told me no, I couldn't.
[25:55]
B
Have something broke a treat in half. Oh yeah.
[25:57]
A
Oh yeah. Well, how about we double quadruple, one thousandth that. We got out and my dad started swearing profusely, but he quickly stopped as he did some math. These were a lot of hot dog buns, but this wasn't all of them. Where were the rest? And where was Bodie? Our house had a large ravine on one side, and as we peeked over, we couldn't help but notice A long trail of hot dog buns and bags that led up further into the ravine under the COVID of dense oak trees. We called for Bodie, but he didn't come back. As we waited for our own hot dog dog to return, this is what we figured happened as soon as we left. Bodie went wild with hot dog joy on the thousands of unprotected buns. He jumped on the table, ripped open the bags and shook the buns out everywhere. He took bites out of some, saw the hundreds around him, got excited, took bites out of those too. Then he realized that he needed to relocate his stash. So he dragged bag after bag to his hideout up in the ravine.
[26:55]
B
Oh, my God.
[26:57]
A
We never did find the rest of the hot dog buns, but Bodie got got his own hot dog, Justice. He came back hours later, his stomach so full that it was hard to the touch.
[27:07]
B
Oh my God. Gross.
[27:08]
A
That happens to Frank. So painful when Frank eats super fast and he goes and lays on the couch and he's just like that. He had packed every possible part of his stomach with those delicious hot dog buns. Bod laid down in his dog bed and was softly moaning and loudly farting for hours afterwards.
[27:27]
B
Oh, my God.
[27:28]
A
And in true dog fashion, he did still try to get us to feed him dinner. Yes. Thanks for reading and thank you for all that you do. You're truly a shining light in a world of darkness. Stay sexy and guard your hot dog buns. Roya. Oh, my God. Hey, Roya. Thank you for writing a perfect email and letting me roll the dice. That's how much I trust our Murderino listeners. They know how to do this.
[27:53]
B
That was great. That was perfect.
[27:54]
A
It was perfection. Bode.
[27:56]
B
Bode Bad do.
[27:59]
A
It's all up to Bode.
[28:00]
B
That's right. Thanks for writing in, you guys and listening and all the things.
[28:03]
A
We love your stories. And if you want to send one in or try again and again, we'll get there. We'll get to your email. Don't worry.
[28:10]
B
My favorite murdermail.
[28:11]
A
And until then, stay sexy and don't get murdered.
[28:14]
B
Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?
[28:24]
A
This has been an exactly right production.
[28:26]
B
Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.
[28:29]
A
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
[28:31]
B
This episode was mixed by Liana Squachi.
[28:33]
A
Email your hometowns to my favorite murder.
[28:35]
B
Gmail.Com and follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder.
[28:39]
A
Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[28:43]
B
And now you can watch us on exactly right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe.
[28:48]
A
Goodbye.
[28:49]
B
Goodbye.
[28:55]
A
You know those commercials where a single, impossibly shiny car glides down a beautiful winding country road with a horse running along a fence?
[29:02]
B
Oh yeah, that's not real life.
[29:04]
A
No, but Hyundai's available Class Exclusive Advanced safety features are designed for the roads we actually drive on, helping to keep you and your family protected.
[29:13]
B
Hyundai vehicles are equipped with a standard Driver Attention Warning system, which constantly monitors your attention levels.
[29:19]
A
Learn more about Hyundai@HyundaiUSA.com or call 562 to 314-4603 for complete details.
[29:26]
B
That's H Y u n D A I U.S. a.com or call 562-314-4603. Goodbye. Hey, Janice Torres here, and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We're the hosts of Mind the Business Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby Studio and Intuit QuickBooks. Catch up on seasons one and two and join us for a brand new season of the podcast as we talk to small business owners about how they manage and grow their business with the help of platforms like Intuit QuickBooks. Listen to mind the Business Small Business Success Stories on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know that excitement that builds when the facts of a cold case start to heat up?
[30:08]
A
Of course.
[30:09]
B
Are there new clues this month?
[30:10]
A
Forget clues.
[30:11]
B
There's huge savings this month@cheapcaribbean.com heats up. I get it. I'm so ready for the beach.
[30:19]
A
It's cheapcaribbean.
[30:20]
B
Com semiannual sale, one of the best times for you to save an extra $200 sitewide on vacation packages of four nights or more. So let's bounce. Go to CheapCaribbean.com to start your search for paradise and book before April 30th to save big.

Summary4 min read

My Favorite Murder Minisode 431 Summary

Episode Title: MFM Minisode 431
Release Date: April 14, 2025
Hosts: Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
Network: iHeartPodcasts, Exactly Right podcast network

Introduction

In Minisode 431 of My Favorite Murder, hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark dive into a series of compelling listener-submitted stories, blending true crime with their signature comedic flair. This episode, released on April 14, 2025, features a variety of narratives ranging from personal encounters with potential danger to quirky family anecdotes, all while maintaining the engaging and relatable tone that fans have come to love.

Listener Stories

1. "My Own F Politeness Story" by Listener M – Los Angeles [02:16 - 08:59]

Listener M recounts a harrowing experience from their 32-year career in law enforcement with the LAPD. While commuting through LA traffic, M notices a young girl appearing uncomfortable as a station wagon follows her. Trusting their instincts, M intervenes by blocking the suspect's path and confronting him with a drawn firearm.

Notable Quotes:

Listener M: “The girl stayed behind me, shaken, using my cell phone, a new thing back then. I called the local police, identifying myself as an off-duty officer and explicitly stating that I was the black guy holding a gun on the badge to avoid any misunderstandings in North Orange County.” ([02:57])
Karen: “Jesus Christ.” ([04:08])
Georgia: “Especially if you're an off-duty police officer.” ([04:56])

The confrontation leads to the man's arrest for harassing a minor, though M expresses frustration over not being called to testify. The story underscores the importance of trusting one's instincts and prioritizing safety over politeness.

2. Megan's Stalker Story – [05:38 - 09:07]

Megan, Karen’s sister, shares her brave encounter with a stalker. Living off-campus in Rochester, New York, Megan notices unusual activity around her home, including a person hiding in her bushes. Unlike most, Megan confronts the individual, chasing him down the street and deterring him from returning.

Notable Quotes:

Karen: “Don’t ever do this.” ([06:54])
Georgia: “Megan. She showed him she was a fighter.” ([09:07])
Karen: “Megan. Stop it.” ([07:38])

Eventually, it is revealed that the stalker was arrested and charged with serial rape, highlighting Megan's courage and the effectiveness of her actions in stopping a dangerous individual.

3. Alex's Family Dating Story – [12:02 - 15:24]

Alex shares an amusing yet tense story about her parents' early dating life in the 1980s. Her father, a dentist significantly older than her mother, taught her mother to drive stick shift in a Porsche 911. During this lesson, they got stuck on an incline with a logging truck approaching. Her father abandoned the situation, leaving her mother to escape the looming danger on her own.

Notable Quotes:

Georgia: “Stay sexy and don’t count on your problematically older lover to save you.” ([15:24])
Karen: “If I was that young woman, I would have been like, it's my car now.” ([15:47])

Despite this rocky start, her parents remained together for nearly four decades, providing a humorous look at their enduring relationship despite early red flags.

4. Carl's Face – Treasure in an Old House [15:54 - 19:07]

Carl narrates the discovery of a hidden lockbox in his newly purchased mid-century home in Connecticut. While exploring crawl spaces, Carl and his partner find a box filled with old coins, valued at approximately $5,000. This unexpected find provided the necessary funds to restore their home and survive a harsh winter.

Notable Quotes:

Karen: “It is a hilarious story now, but back then, it was a real lifesaver.” ([18:19 - 19:07])
Georgia: “Stay sexy and don't be afraid of crawl spaces.” ([19:04 - 19:07])

The story emphasizes the serendipitous nature of finding treasure and its positive impact on Carl and his partner's lives.

5. Roya's "Hot Dog Justice" – Bodie and the Bun Explosion [22:13 - 27:58]

Roya shares a humorous tale about her family's mishap involving thousands of hot dog buns intended for a large barbecue event. Her dog, Bodie, wreaked havoc by scattering and consuming the buns, leading to an amusing yet chaotic scene. The aftermath left the family dealing with the mess and Bodie’s overindulgence.

Notable Quotes:

Roya: “Stay sexy and guard your hot dog buns.” ([27:06 - 27:58])
Karen: “Bodie is like, this is the best moment of my entire life.” ([25:49])

This lighthearted story provides a comedic break from the more intense narratives, showcasing the everyday chaos that pets can introduce into family life.

Concluding Remarks

In Minisode 431, Karen and Georgia expertly balance intense true crime stories with lighter, personal anecdotes, maintaining the show's signature blend of suspense and humor. The listeners’ contributions offer diverse perspectives on safety, courage, and the unexpected twists life can take, all while reinforcing the community and support among the My Favorite Murder fanbase.

Final Quotes:

Karen: “Stay sexy and don't get murdered.” ([28:10])
Georgia: “Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?” ([28:14])

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks to listeners, encouraging continued story submissions and reinforcing the bond between the hosts and their audience.

Additional Information:

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast where Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark share engaging true crime stories and personal anecdotes from listeners. Part of the Exactly Right podcast network, the show is known for its unique blend of humor and gripping narratives, covering a wide range of topics from infamous serial killers to personal survival stories.

For more information or to listen to Minisode 431, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Loading summary

Transcript246 lines

[00:02]
A
This is exactly right. You know those commercials where a single impossibly shiny car glides down a beautiful winding country road with a horse running along a fence?
[00:13]
B
Oh yeah, that's not real life.
[00:15]
A
No, but Hyundai's available Class Exclusive advanced safety features are designed for the roads we actually drive on, helping to keep you and your family protected.
[00:24]
B
Hyundai vehicles are equipped with a standard Driver Attention Warning system, which constantly monitors your attention levels.
[00:30]
A
Learn more about Hyundai at Hyundai USA or call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
[00:37]
B
That's H Y U N d a I usa.com or call 562-314-4603. Goodbye. If you've got a million tabs open in your brain at all times, you don't need a wireless service that slows you down.
[00:51]
A
Visible gives you unlimited data and a fast, reliable connection so you can keep scrolling until your fingers fall off.
[00:57]
B
Visible is the ultimate wireless hack. It's unlimited wireless that puts you in control. You get unlimited data and hotspots, so stay connected on the go, ready for.
[01:06]
A
Wireless that lets you live in the know.
[01:07]
B
Make the switch at visible.com plans starting at $25 a month for their best features.
[01:12]
A
Get the new Visible Plus Pro plan for $45 a month. Terms apply.
[01:16]
B
See visible.com for plan features and network management details. Goodbye At Designer Shoe Warehouse, we believe that shoes are an important part of, well, everything. From first steps to first dates. From all nighters to all time personal best. From building pillow forts to building a life. For all the big and small moments.
[01:38]
A
That make up your whole world.
[01:40]
B
DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at brag worthy prices at your DSW store or dsw.com.
[01:58]
A
My savior. Hello, hello and welcome to my favorite murder, the miniso.
[02:13]
B
That's right. We read you your stories about anything and everything.
[02:17]
A
And your grandma.
[02:18]
B
And your grandma.
[02:19]
A
You want to go first?
[02:20]
B
Sure. Mine is called my own f politeness Story. Greetings Karen, Georgia, pets and all fellow murderinos I'm writing. As a longtime listener, I'm a bit behind on the rewinds, but catching up. My wife fondly refers to you as my potty mouthed podcast girlfriends.
[02:39]
A
Aw.
[02:40]
B
After hearing the Adelaide Oval abduction story, I was reminded of a situation for my own career that perfectly embodies your f politeness mantra.
[02:49]
A
Yay.
[02:50]
B
I retired from a major LA metro law enforcement agency after 32 years, so I've got plenty of stories.
[02:57]
A
The LAPD by chance.
[02:59]
B
Oh my God. But this one felt particularly relevant one day during my long commute home, LA traffic. You know the drill. I was taking the streets, trying to avoid the freeways. Something caught my eye. That gut feeling you get when something just isn't right. I saw a young girl, maybe 12 or 13, walking alone and a station wagon was slowly following her. The driver was leaning over trying to talk to her through the passenger window. Her body language screamed that she was uncomfortable. I immediately made a U turn and pulled in behind the station wagon. As I did, the station wagon pulled into a driveway ahead of us. I spoke to the girl, identified myself as a police officer and asked if she knew the man. She shook her head no. I told her to stay close. Then I then pulled into the driveway, blocking the station wagon in. And with my badge in one hand and my gun drawn, I ordered the driver to turn off the car and show his hands. The girl stayed behind me, shaken, using my cell phone, a new thing back then. I called the local police, identifying myself as an off duty officer and explicitly stating that I was the black guy holding a gun on the Bad Gu to avoid any misunderstandings in North Orange County.
[04:08]
A
Jesus Christ.
[04:10]
B
During the three or four minute wait for the local coppers, the guy tried to give me a story about how he was innocent, pleading for me to let him go. But I wasn't buying it. When the local officers arrived and interviewed the girl, we learned that he had been a substitute mailman who had delivered to her mom's house and had been bothering her. She said he made her extremely uncomfortable and this was the first time he had approached her on her way home from school. He was easily in his late 30s and she was clearly very young. Based on her statement and what I witnessed, he was arrested for annoying a minor. He later pleaded guilty, likely getting probation on a plea deal. I was never called to testify, which is frustrating. I just hope he hasn't preyed on any other children. Ssdgm. And remember, screw politeness. You don't mind your own business. M Los Angeles.
[04:56]
A
M Los Angeles. Especially if you're an off duty police officer.
[04:59]
B
Totally.
[05:00]
A
Yeah. The ultimate in the duty to fuck politeness. Please God, as these people are out there's something about and I just in my mind that was like a early 80s shitty broken down brown station. That's that Just beware.
[05:18]
B
Totally.
[05:19]
A
We'll change it up a little bit. I won't read you the subject line. It says hi Karen, Georgia, sweet animals and other wonderful humans. There's a. If you're watching this on video, there's a whole control room filled with wonderful humans who make this show. They're right over there. Maybe someday we'll show them to you as they make the show.
[05:37]
B
If they want, if they let us.
[05:38]
A
We put a camera in there. They're all like, no. My little sister went to college in Rochester, New York, and worked nights at a bar near her campus. She lived off campus with her friends in a super cute old house in a neighborhood of college kids. Megan had always been a badass, take no shit kind of girl. Parentheses. Probably because she's the baby and has two older sisters. Yeah. One day she came home from work and noticed a chair under her bedroom window, which was on the first floor.
[06:08]
B
Uh oh.
[06:09]
A
Now, this was an older house, so the windows were about 6ft off the ground. Not easy to see into or get into. She thought it might be something another drunk college kid did and forgot about it. A few days later, she noticed her window AC unit had been tampered with from the outside. She called my dad and he arrived the next day to put in window alarms, a security camera, and floodlights. Then she came home one day from class and happened to notice some movement in her backyard. She stepped outside and all caps someone in her bushes.
[06:40]
B
Oh my God.
[06:41]
A
Most people might scream, run back inside and lock the doors and call the police, et cetera. Not Megan. She yelled at him so loud, he ran out of the bushes, through the yard and into the street. She chased him. I'll stop right here and say, do not ever do this.
[06:54]
B
No, don't chase anyone.
[06:55]
A
Don't ever do this. But Megan. She's a wild one. Yeah. And it's her story, so let's tell it.
[07:01]
B
Okay.
[07:02]
A
She ran after him down the middle of the street, still yelling and throwing rocks, sticks, and even her shoes.
[07:08]
B
Damn. Megan.
[07:10]
A
A few other college kids saw the commotion and tried to help her catch him. Yes, it's a mini night stalker situation.
[07:16]
B
Yeah.
[07:17]
A
He got in a car and drove off. She later found a grocery store receipt in her backyard and knew immediately it had to be his. She turned it into the police so they could trace it back to him. I, of course, lost my shit when I heard this. I mailed her pepper spray and a taser. But she wanted to buy a bear trap. Megan.
[07:38]
B
I mean, it'd work.
[07:39]
A
Megan.
[07:40]
B
That'd be so funny.
[07:40]
A
Megan. Stop it.
[07:41]
B
I love Megan.
[07:43]
A
Thankfully, I talked her out of that. Drunk college kids in a bear trap is a disaster waiting to happen. Right, Megan? I just want to invite A few months later, she went to a Buffalo Bills game and forgot she had the pepper spray on her keychain. Security wouldn't let her carry it in the stadium, obviously, and so she wasn't allowed in. She was sent a letter in the mail telling her she was banned from the stadium for having. Having a weapon.
[08:07]
B
What?
[08:08]
A
I'm pretty sure she has that letter framed.
[08:10]
B
Nice.
[08:12]
A
It's all a funny story now, but a few years ago, we had found out that the guy hiding in my little sister's bushes had been arrested and charged with serial rape.
[08:21]
B
Holy.
[08:22]
A
Because it's always. That's the beginning. That's step one.
[08:25]
B
Yeah. He's not innocently casing the joint of a young female by herself.
[08:29]
A
It's not an 80s movie where being a peeping Tom is charming, charming motherfuckers. He had been stalking, assaulting, and raping college women all over that neighborhood by following them home and sneaking into their bedrooms. Super scary. And I can't believe my little sister chased his ass down the street and threw her shoes at him. God, I love her. Yeah, I love her, too. Stay sexy and don't be afraid to be scarier than the creepy guy stalking you. Stephanie. P.S. megan is now a traveling oncology nurse.
[09:00]
B
Whoa.
[09:00]
A
Working with cancer patients of all ages. She is my hero. And the most amazing human I know.
[09:06]
B
Oh, my God.
[09:07]
A
Fuck, yeah. Megan.
[09:08]
B
Megan. Like, don't chase all that stuff. But she showed him she was a fighter. And he's like, I'm not coming back to this house.
[09:14]
A
Right?
[09:15]
B
Which is pretty incredible.
[09:16]
A
And she's like, don't, because I'll trap you like a bear. And then I'll enter you in a circus and make you dance, you perv. You know, Georgia, they always tell you to touch grass, to spend time in nature, but what if I told you that nature can be boxed up and delivered right to your door?
[09:33]
B
Well, now you can, thanks to Fast Growing Trees.
[09:36]
A
Did you know Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers new to plants or gardening? No problem. The website has everything you need. Plus each plant comes with clear care instructions.
[09:49]
B
Plus, get support from their trained plant experts who are on call to help you plan your landscape, choose the right plants, and learn how to care for them.
[09:56]
A
God, I need to learn how to care for plants. I would love to get this service and just have somebody, like, teaching me as I have, like, a beautiful tree or plant in my house, like, actually do this today. This is how you don't kill it.
[10:08]
B
When do I water it?
[10:09]
A
Yes.
[10:09]
B
What season Do I trim it? I don't know and I don't want to ask my mom cuz then I get a lecture.
[10:14]
A
This spring they have the best deals for your yard, up to half off on select plants and other deals.
[10:19]
B
And listeners to our show get 15% off their first purchase when using the code MFM at checkout.
[10:25]
A
That's an additional 15% off at fast growing trees.com using the code MFM at checkout.
[10:30]
B
Fast growing trees.com code MFM now is the perfect time to plan.
[10:34]
A
Use MFM to save today. Offers valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply.
[10:39]
B
Goodbye. Spring is in the air. And that means open windows, outdoor plans, and more time away from home. All the things that burglars love.
[10:47]
A
Well, bad news, burglars. Now you can protect your home with Simplisafe.
[10:52]
B
With Simplisafe, millions of Americans enjoy greater security and peace of mind every time they arm their system.
[10:57]
A
Traditional security systems only take action after somebody has already broken in. That's too late.
[11:02]
B
But with active guard outdoor protection, Simplisafe's monitoring agents closely watch your property and stop crimes before they happen.
[11:09]
A
The cameras use advanced AI to distinguish between friendly faces like family and neighbors, and potential threats, alerting agents to suspicious individuals before they get close to your home.
[11:19]
B
So I get that ping on my phone, on my app that tells me when there's someone like, on my lawn, I'm such an old lady or like, you know, walking up my driveway because I live up off the street and you shouldn't be there if you're not meant to be there. So like, if I get the ping that someone's on my lawn and I'm like, I know something's up and I can check it before they even get to the door or break in in the window. It's great.
[11:42]
A
Visit simplisafe.com fave to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free.
[11:49]
B
That's simply safe.com fav.
[11:51]
A
There's no safe like simply safe. Goodbye.
[11:57]
B
Okay, this next one's called Near Death Experience and why I maybe Should Never have been born?
[12:03]
A
I can't be true because we need emails and you're providing them. So this is your destiny.
[12:07]
B
Hey, MFM gang. Day one listener here. I've lived in five states and had three baby girls since I first started listening, and you guys have been one of the constants in my life.
[12:17]
A
Aw.
[12:18]
B
So thank you for that and a whole lot more. Let's get into it back in the 80s. Long before I was born and my parents were married, they had begun dating in secret because my dad is 19 and a half years older than my mom. Oh, and it says in parentheses. Gross. My grandmother would not have approved. And then it says she came around eventually, RIP. Because my dad was a well known dentist in our relatively small town. So she probably was like 22 if he was 44 or like 40 or something.
[12:48]
A
Right? Yeah, you know, was he 40, though?
[12:50]
B
I hope so. I don't know. Let's just hope for the best. He and my mom would go on dates in a neighboring town about an hour away, where they were less likely to be recognized by anyone. Shit, this is the 80s. It was on their way back from one of these dates on a relatively unfrequented road, that my dad decided to teach my mom how to drive stick shift in his brand new car. A Porsche 911, of course. Is that how you say it?
[13:13]
A
Yes.
[13:13]
B
Porsche 911. So we got an older dentist with a Porsche 911 dating a woman 20 years his junior, which, if you don't know, is a tiny and flashy two door sports car.
[13:24]
A
Yeah, Porsche 911s were all the rage in like the 80s.
[13:27]
B
For the older dentists.
[13:28]
A
For the older dentists. Finance pros, guys at Adco.
[13:32]
B
My mom started out all right, shifting into gear with relative ease. But when it came time to get up over a hill that led to a small narrow bridge, she panicked and stalled out. They were stuck on the uphill. My mom not quite able to see what might be coming over the narrow bridge from the other side. As my dad tells it, he was able to see and spotted a large logging truck, a la Final Destination, headed their way and told my mom she needed to move the car. Now, that's a lot of pressure. Yeah, chill. It's a great way to get someone to. You're in sticks if you're grinding the gears over and over again.
[14:07]
A
Yep.
[14:08]
B
She kept working at getting the car into gear and in near tears, looked up to ask my dad for help, only to realize he had opened the door, hopped out and abandoned her and the car and was running down the hill away from the ongoing truck.
[14:21]
A
Oh, no.
[14:23]
B
I mean, sorry. The world needs dentists.
[14:25]
A
They got married. I know. The world needs dentists. Save yourself, doctor.
[14:31]
B
By some miracle, my mom got the car going and was able to crest the hill and move out of the way just in time for the large truck to cross. The driver laying on his horn as he passed all caps with absolutely no help from My dad. My mom still brings up this story and is always quick to note how my dad thought to save himself first before thinking of anything and anyone else. She still fucking married him.
[14:52]
A
She still married him.
[14:54]
B
Is that a happy ending? Are we gonna call it that?
[14:56]
A
Well, it depends. We have to listen to the rest of the email.
[14:59]
B
Fortunately, my mom got that car moving and saved herself and the expensive car. And despite this huge red flag, she stayed with my dad. They got married and had me a few years later. So it's an ending. It's definitely an ending. I mean, stay sexy and don't count on your problematically older lover to save you. Alex. She her. I bet you Alex goes to therapy. I bet you anything Alex can laugh at it because she's been too. So she has her.
[15:25]
A
She has no choice. Which is how it is for most of us. I mean, that is the fucking funniest thing of all time. It's just like, well, at least you know what you're dealing with now.
[15:35]
B
Yeah, yeah, something went right. Cause they got married.
[15:37]
A
So yeah, you married it.
[15:39]
B
You call. I mean, marriage isn't always a happy ending.
[15:42]
A
If I was that young woman, and I mean young woman, I would have been like, it's my car now.
[15:48]
B
Yes, that's the law.
[15:49]
A
The email subject line is Carl's face. Treasure in old house. Three minute read.
[15:54]
B
Amazing.
[15:55]
A
Hello aunties. My partner and I bought our first home last year in a small town in the middle of Connecticut. We've always had dreams of buying a mid century fixer upper and last year we finally found it. This home fell into disrepair after the previous owners had passed and it ultimately went to a bank. All we were told was the couple who lived there built the house and lived there until passing.
[16:17]
B
Wow.
[16:17]
A
Yeah. Georgia would have loved our first tour of this time capsule as nothing had been updated in this house since the the 50s. Dude, imagine that wallpaper.
[16:28]
B
Gorgeous.
[16:29]
A
Through our final walkthrough, I found that we had some serious crawl spaces on the second floor that were big enough for a bunch of ghosts, stalkers and deviants to have parties in. Needless to say that when we moved in, I found a great place for a dresser or chair right in front of the crawl space doors. Fast forward to a few months after our purchase and my partner and I were realizing that the funds we had put aside for restoring our home were quickly dwindling. We had finished a few necessary projects. We were quickly approaching winter with an 1980s furnace and water heater that were not gonna hold out for the colder months. Thank You New England winters around the same time, we had some family come stay with us, Two of them being my martorino cousins who were excited to get a top to bottom tour of the house. And to my disappointment, they had me move my strategically placed furniture from the crawl space doors so they could have a peek. I ushered them in, and we traversed the dark space with our phone lights. As much as I would have rather we didn't. As much as I would have rathered we didn't. We didn't. What a wonderful clause. I'm glad we did, because one of my cousins found what looked to be an old lockbox tucked away behind a support beam.
[17:39]
B
Oh, shit.
[17:39]
A
You gotta go in those old crawl spaces.
[17:42]
B
We had them and we blocked most of them off.
[17:45]
A
You didn't check?
[17:47]
B
I mean, it was like, there's no reason for anyone to have gone in there. So, yeah, there's probably a lockbox in there.
[17:52]
A
Except to hide their treasure.
[17:54]
B
It's a perfect place, clearly, to hide stuff.
[17:56]
A
Yeah, maybe. You know, I just thought of this, and it's so wrong. I was like, you could hire a task rabbit and somebody could come do it for you. And it's like, can you imagine the nightmare? They're like, hey, do you want me to move some furniture? No, get into that crawl space. Horrifying. Okay. Lockbox behind the support beam. The thing weighed a ton, and we brought it outside in the backyard, crowbars and hammers in hand. That'd be so fun.
[18:19]
B
Oh, how exciting.
[18:20]
A
After a proper beating on this thing, we finally pried it open to find it full of old coins.
[18:26]
B
Yes.
[18:29]
A
And then it says, q Goonies theme music. Definitely my inner child. Dreams had come true. I didn't even care what the coins amounted to. Finding literal treasure in an old house is priceless. But this is reality, and we are adults. So my partner and I took the old coins to be appraised. We like to think that the old people who owned our house saw how much we loved and appreciated their hard work and wanted to pay it forward to us. So when we left the coin appraisers $5,000 richer, we knew exactly what we would do with it. Yes, our mid century dream home has since been restored, and we had a very warm winter thanks to that treasure.
[19:04]
B
Yes.
[19:05]
A
Stay sexy and don't be afraid of crawl spaces.
[19:08]
B
L. Oh, my God. That's so satisfying.
[19:10]
A
That's also a great number. It's like 5,000. Yeah, that's like solid check of like, here, go do some good. Go take care of some stuff.
[19:18]
B
Go take care of that stuff. It's that annoying stuff stuff when you put money into a house and it's nothing you can see, right? So it's just like frustrating until it.
[19:29]
A
Gets real cold and you're like do right right?
[19:34]
B
There are probably a billion furniture options out there. We didn't count but that number feels right.
[19:39]
A
So how do you find the perfect piece?
[19:41]
B
Easy. You go to Article.
[19:42]
A
Article believes in delightful design for every home and thanks to their online only model they have some really delightful prices too.
[19:49]
B
Article makes furniture shopping a breeze with its carefully selected selected styles from mid century modern to boho and everything in between.
[19:56]
A
Check out their near dresser. It's beautiful and practical which is a deadly combination.
[20:01]
B
You know we're hard stands of article on this podcast. Everyone knows that we're like BFFs.
[20:07]
A
I mean we couldn't rave more.
[20:09]
B
And it's because everything is so classy, so beautifully made, affordable and so user friendly. Like you don't have to have style to like get stylish stuff from article. They do it for you. So like there's no worry there.
[20:21]
A
Look at that near a dresser on their website. Just go and take a look at that one piece and you will see what we are talking about. It is as mid century as you could get.
[20:30]
B
Seriously. Article is offering our listeners 50 off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more.
[20:35]
A
To claim, visit article.com murder and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.
[20:39]
B
That's a R T I c l e.com murder to get 50 off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more.
[20:45]
A
Goodbye. As the weather starts to get warmer and we can finally go places again, it's time to face a hard truth. Your travel wardrobe is not ready.
[20:54]
B
You can't bring bad fashion on your vacation. They won't let you out of the airport.
[20:59]
A
Fortunately, we all have quints. They have high quality travel essentials at fair prices.
[21:04]
B
With Quint you can get quality luxury essentials without a hefty price tag like lightweight European linen styles from $30, washable silk tops and comfy lounge sets and quints.
[21:14]
A
Also has premium luggage options and stylish tote bags to car. At all.
[21:17]
B
Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Because Quint works directly with top factories, they cut out the middleman and pass the savings onto you.
[21:26]
A
George I don't want to brag or anything but I just got a box of three brand new quint sweaters because I wear my $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that I got years ago so much that I was finally like, I need to freshen this up a little bit.
[21:40]
B
For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quintessential quince.
[21:44]
A
Go to quince.commfm for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
[21:50]
B
That's Q U I N C E dot com mfm to get free shipping and 365 day returns.
[21:55]
A
Quince.commfm Goodbye.
[22:00]
B
My last one's called I'm not telling you. Okay, but it says short and sweet hello to all the wonderful people at mfm. Exactly. Right, Right. Since we're all just submitting stories for funsies now, I have a good one.
[22:14]
A
Great.
[22:14]
B
My dad and my mom have many odd stories from the early days of their dating slash marriage life. My favorite is how my mom met her future Italian in laws. My parents, Steve and Debbie. Thank you.
[22:26]
A
Classic. They met in 1987.
[22:28]
B
That's right. Had been dating for a little while before my dad asked my mom if she would like to meet his family. He invited her over and said his entire family would be there. My mom walked into this house filled with Italians to find a wake happening in the living room. Literally a dead body in a casket in the living room. Casual. This was the early 80s.
[22:49]
A
Yes.
[22:50]
B
My dad had invited my mom to meet his entire family at his dead uncle's wake in some random family member's living room. How romantic. You'd think this would have been a red flag for my mom, but alas, they've been married for almost 40 years and still going strong.
[23:05]
A
Wow.
[23:06]
B
I'd say this is the weirdest story of their relationship, but they literally met at a toga party where my mom was going to buy weed from my dad. This is a good one. This is a sweet one after my weird one.
[23:17]
A
Yeah. So good.
[23:17]
B
Stay sexy and don't meet your future mother in law in front of a corpse. Much love, Stephanie. She her.
[23:23]
A
That's also. I've never been to a wake at a home where the body is in the home, but I know that is like traditional.
[23:30]
B
For sure.
[23:30]
A
Have you ever.
[23:31]
B
No. At a church. But not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
[23:34]
A
Like in the living room is different. Yeah.
[23:35]
B
That's creepy.
[23:36]
A
Yeah. Okay. Ready? Okay. I picked this simply by the subject line and did not read it.
[23:41]
B
Oh, shit.
[23:42]
A
Because the subject line is hot dog justice. Ready?
[23:45]
B
You got it. It has to work.
[23:46]
A
Let's see.
[23:47]
B
Let's make it work.
[23:48]
A
Hi all. I love you, but there's no time to waste on flattery. My Moment has come. It's hot dog justice time.
[23:54]
B
Oh my God.
[23:54]
A
What amazing start.
[23:56]
B
Yes.
[23:56]
A
I feel good about this. Years ago, my dad was involved in the management of the Western Pyrotechnic Association. I think we're golden.
[24:05]
B
Oh my God. We're going. I'm gonna guess festival. Hot dogs, fireworks. Let's hear it.
[24:11]
A
Okay. They'd have a big conference each year in Lake Havasu where they'd build fireworks, shoot them and party. Not necessarily in that order. This particular year, my dad was in charge of providing hot dog buns for the kickoff barbecue. Keep in mind, this is a barbecue for over a thousand sweaty, meat loving, self proclaimed pyromaniacs. So he had to purchase thousands of hot dog buns, enough to fill his green Volvo station wagon to the brim. My dad decided that the best course of action was to purchase the hot dog buns from our local Costco. How else could you do it?
[24:44]
B
Yeah, unless you're a business, you're just.
[24:48]
A
Going to every grocery store in town and just cleaning them out of hot dog buns. Okay, go to Costco. And then packed him into our giant rental van, which he would be using to transport all of his firework gear into the desert. Since I was around 12 at the time and the prime age for providing child labor, I helped my dad unload the hot dog buns which we stacked on every available surface in our yard. We then rushed off to get the rental van. Enter Bodhi, our sweet, highly food motivated lab pit bull mix.
[25:18]
B
Oh no.
[25:21]
A
As my dad and I returned with the van and pulled into our long gravel driveway, we lived in the countryside of the South Bay area. What up, Karen? We saw utter carnage.
[25:32]
B
Oh my God.
[25:33]
A
All around us were whole hot dog buns, parts of hot dog buns, and the tattered remains of the plastic bags that once held them. It truly looked as if there had been a hot dog bun explosion.
[25:45]
B
Bode is like, this is the best moment of my entire life.
[25:49]
A
Bode is like for all those times that you told me to get down totally. And you told me no, I couldn't.
[25:55]
B
Have something broke a treat in half. Oh yeah.
[25:57]
A
Oh yeah. Well, how about we double quadruple, one thousandth that. We got out and my dad started swearing profusely, but he quickly stopped as he did some math. These were a lot of hot dog buns, but this wasn't all of them. Where were the rest? And where was Bodie? Our house had a large ravine on one side, and as we peeked over, we couldn't help but notice A long trail of hot dog buns and bags that led up further into the ravine under the COVID of dense oak trees. We called for Bodie, but he didn't come back. As we waited for our own hot dog dog to return, this is what we figured happened as soon as we left. Bodie went wild with hot dog joy on the thousands of unprotected buns. He jumped on the table, ripped open the bags and shook the buns out everywhere. He took bites out of some, saw the hundreds around him, got excited, took bites out of those too. Then he realized that he needed to relocate his stash. So he dragged bag after bag to his hideout up in the ravine.
[26:55]
B
Oh, my God.
[26:57]
A
We never did find the rest of the hot dog buns, but Bodie got got his own hot dog, Justice. He came back hours later, his stomach so full that it was hard to the touch.
[27:07]
B
Oh my God. Gross.
[27:08]
A
That happens to Frank. So painful when Frank eats super fast and he goes and lays on the couch and he's just like that. He had packed every possible part of his stomach with those delicious hot dog buns. Bod laid down in his dog bed and was softly moaning and loudly farting for hours afterwards.
[27:27]
B
Oh, my God.
[27:28]
A
And in true dog fashion, he did still try to get us to feed him dinner. Yes. Thanks for reading and thank you for all that you do. You're truly a shining light in a world of darkness. Stay sexy and guard your hot dog buns. Roya. Oh, my God. Hey, Roya. Thank you for writing a perfect email and letting me roll the dice. That's how much I trust our Murderino listeners. They know how to do this.
[27:53]
B
That was great. That was perfect.
[27:54]
A
It was perfection. Bode.
[27:56]
B
Bode Bad do.
[27:59]
A
It's all up to Bode.
[28:00]
B
That's right. Thanks for writing in, you guys and listening and all the things.
[28:03]
A
We love your stories. And if you want to send one in or try again and again, we'll get there. We'll get to your email. Don't worry.
[28:10]
B
My favorite murdermail.
[28:11]
A
And until then, stay sexy and don't get murdered.
[28:14]
B
Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?
[28:24]
A
This has been an exactly right production.
[28:26]
B
Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.
[28:29]
A
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
[28:31]
B
This episode was mixed by Liana Squachi.
[28:33]
A
Email your hometowns to my favorite murder.
[28:35]
B
Gmail.Com and follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder.
[28:39]
A
Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[28:43]
B
And now you can watch us on exactly right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe.
[28:48]
A
Goodbye.
[28:49]
B
Goodbye.
[28:55]
A
You know those commercials where a single, impossibly shiny car glides down a beautiful winding country road with a horse running along a fence?
[29:02]
B
Oh yeah, that's not real life.
[29:04]
A
No, but Hyundai's available Class Exclusive Advanced safety features are designed for the roads we actually drive on, helping to keep you and your family protected.
[29:13]
B
Hyundai vehicles are equipped with a standard Driver Attention Warning system, which constantly monitors your attention levels.
[29:19]
A
Learn more about Hyundai@HyundaiUSA.com or call 562 to 314-4603 for complete details.
[29:26]
B
That's H Y u n D A I U.S. a.com or call 562-314-4603. Goodbye. Hey, Janice Torres here, and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We're the hosts of Mind the Business Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby Studio and Intuit QuickBooks. Catch up on seasons one and two and join us for a brand new season of the podcast as we talk to small business owners about how they manage and grow their business with the help of platforms like Intuit QuickBooks. Listen to mind the Business Small Business Success Stories on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know that excitement that builds when the facts of a cold case start to heat up?
[30:08]
A
Of course.
[30:09]
B
Are there new clues this month?
[30:10]
A
Forget clues.
[30:11]
B
There's huge savings this month@cheapcaribbean.com heats up. I get it. I'm so ready for the beach.
[30:19]
A
It's cheapcaribbean.
[30:20]
B
Com semiannual sale, one of the best times for you to save an extra $200 sitewide on vacation packages of four nights or more. So let's bounce. Go to CheapCaribbean.com to start your search for paradise and book before April 30th to save big.