MFM Minisode 436

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Favorite Murder Minisode 436

Introduction In Minisode 436 of My Favorite Murder hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, listeners share a series of personal and gripping true crime stories. Karen and Georgia navigate these narratives with their signature blend of humor and empathy, offering insights and reflections that resonate deeply with the audience.

Listener Stories

1. The Mysterious Swan Encounter ([02:25] - [06:08])

   Elvis kicks off the episode with a fascinating tale from Karen's past. At 15, Karen recounts a bizarre incident where a swan repeatedly collided with her car during her drive to work. Initially dismissed as a drunken accident by her mother, the revelation later uncovered a more sinister plot involving a vengeful individual.

   "[04:26] Elvis: Oh, my God."

   Karen humorously describes her mother's overprotective reaction, highlighting the lengths parents will go to shield their children from perceived dangers.

2. Jeff the Neighbor's Hidden Past ([07:08] - [10:12])

   Another listener, Elvis, shares a childhood memory about a neighbor named Jeff, who was later revealed to be a registered sex offender involved in serious crimes. Reflecting on the lax attitudes of parents during the late '90s and early 2000s, Elvis questions the safety protocols of that era.

   "[09:02] Elvis: She would have scratched his eyes out in the moment."

   This story underscores the importance of vigilance and the evolving nature of community safety measures.

3. Rutherford the Siamese Cat Hero ([16:01] - [18:48])

   In a heartwarming yet intense narrative, Elvis describes how her Siamese cat, Rutherford, played a pivotal role during a drive-by shooting incident in her neighborhood. The cat's protective instincts alerted the family to the danger, leading to the apprehension of the shooter.

   "[17:30] Karen Kilgariff: He was a Seal. Navy Siamese. My dad hopped out of bed..."

   Karen and Georgia celebrate Rutherford's heroism, emphasizing the unexpected ways pets can impact our lives.

4. A 15-Year-Old's Encounter with a Stranger ([23:37] - [26:33])

   Karen shares a chilling experience from her teenage years when a man in a red hatchback approached her while she was walking home. Recognizing the ominous signs, Karen adeptly avoided the situation, illustrating the importance of trusting one's instincts in potentially dangerous encounters.

   "[24:10] Karen Kilgariff: I knew who Ted Bundy was. I'd read the Stranger Beside Me."

   The hosts discuss strategies for safety and the value of being prepared to handle such situations.

5. 12-Year-Old Friends Facing a Stalker ([27:08] - [30:50])

   Elvis brings forth a contemporary story about her daughters' friend who was stalked by a man known to her from previous encounters. The harrowing experience led to proactive measures taught by Elvis, inspired by Karen and Georgia's teachings, to ensure safety among young listeners.

   "[28:12] Karen Kilgariff: It's how they do it these days."

   This segment highlights the podcast's impact on empowering listeners with practical safety advice.

Hosts' Insights and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Karen and Georgia interweave humor with serious discussions on safety, parental responsibility, and community vigilance. They reflect on their own experiences and those shared by listeners, offering solidarity and practical tips to handle similar situations.

"Leave, Elvis." - [03:43] Elvis responding to Karen's humorous portrayal of her mother's reaction.

The hosts emphasize the importance of being aware, trusting one's instincts, and the role of community support in preventing and addressing crimes.

Conclusion

Minisode 436 of My Favorite Murder is a compelling blend of personal anecdotes and listener submissions that delve into themes of safety, protection, and the unexpected heroes in our lives—human or otherwise. Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark adeptly navigate these stories, providing both entertainment and meaningful takeaways for their audience.

"Stay sexy and don't get murdered." - [30:59] Elvis's closing remark inspired by the podcast's recurring sign-off.

Listeners are encouraged to continue sharing their stories, fostering a community of support and awareness around true crime and personal safety.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "[04:26] Elvis: Oh, my God."

• "[09:02] Elvis: She would have scratched his eyes out in the moment."

• "[17:30] Karen Kilgariff: He was a Seal. Navy Siamese. My dad hopped out of bed..."

• "[24:10] Karen Kilgariff: I knew who Ted Bundy was. I'd read the Stranger Beside Me."

• "[28:12] Karen Kilgariff: It's how they do it these days."

• "[30:59] Elvis: Stay sexy and don't get murdered."

Final Thoughts

This episode reinforces the podcast's mission to blend true crime with relatable storytelling, offering listeners both entertainment and valuable lessons. Karen and Georgia continue to build a community where stories of survival, vigilance, and even feline heroism are celebrated, making My Favorite Murder a standout in the true crime podcast landscape.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, yeah, that's not real life.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Elvis]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

Visit audible.com murder or text murder to 500.

[Elvis]

Five hundred.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's audible.com murder or text Murder to 500. Five hundred.

[Elvis]

Goodbye. Hi.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder the Minisodes.

[Elvis]

Minisodes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They're little.

[Elvis]

They're so tiny.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They're emails.

[Elvis]

Go first.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Elvis]

I demand it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The subject line of this email is the one where mom destroys the evidence. Okay, Intense. And then it just says, hi. Hi, Hi, Longtime listener and thought you'd like to hear about the time my mom tried to destroy crime scene evidence. This all happened about 15 years ago. @ the height of my career in the restaurant industry, it was not uncommon to get out of work around midnight and go hit the Town with my buddies until we stumbled back home around 3, 4, sometimes 5 in the morning.

[Elvis]

I know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. How late would you stay out?

[Elvis]

Well, probably three, because everything closes at two here in California. So you'd go out till they close at 1:30 or 2 and then you'd go get pancakes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

And then you'd get home on a Tuesday, three in the morning, having to get up at seven to work.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

It's great.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

How did I do that? I don't know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

White drugs?

[Elvis]

No, no.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just a guess.

[Elvis]

Just a guess. Never. Never.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It was just youth.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It was youth, right? You had the drive to earn a living.

[Elvis]

Youth and whiskey. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

On one of these mornings, I get shaken awake by my mom at 7am she has a panicked look on her face and she keeps begging me to tell her what happened over and over again. She says, it's okay. Please just tell me what happened. It's okay. I promise I won't tell anyone. I have not a single clue what she's talking about and only a few hours until I have to get up for work. So naturally, I tell her to go away.

[Elvis]

Oh, God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

About 11:00am, I finally drag myself out of bed and go see what all the fuss was about. I'm greeted by my mother and my uncle sitting at the kitchen table. My mom is crying and saying, it's okay. Whatever you did, we'll figure it out. We cleaned the blood off your car. We just. We won't tell the cops we know you were drinking last night. Just please tell us what happened. This poor woman.

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also, how about I snap right into the crying mother?

[Elvis]

No, that was good. That was great.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Needed it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm the Margo Martindale of this podcast. I finally pieced together what's going on and I burst out laughing. My mom and uncle are dumbfounded. I said, wait, you cleaned my car because you thought I was drunk and hit someone with it?

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I then proceed to tell them about my drive to work the day before. I was on my way to the restaurant, stopped at a red light, waiting to make my U turn. Out of nowhere, I see a huge swan come flying down from the sky, headed straight toward my side of the car. The thing hits my passenger door and lands on the road in the next lane. At this point, the light turns green. So I shake off this insane brush with Mother Nature and go about making my U turn.

[Elvis]

A fucking swan. Those things are huge.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And you're not immediately looking up what.

[Elvis]

That symbolizes and you can't react because someone's honking at you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It reminds me. Remember when we were in my car.

[Elvis]

And that crow just flew into your sunroof?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Like, literally tried to get in, apparently.

[Elvis]

Good luck. Thank God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. For real. We kept driving, okay? All of a sudden, this fucking thing rises up off the ground and comes at me a second time. It hits the front of my car head and flies up over the back. I pull over and stop the car. I get out along with a couple of other drivers to check on the bird. But based on the amount of blood on my car, it is clearly dead.

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

At this point, I am extremely late for work. So I get back in the car and I haul ass to the restaurant. I work the whole shift, party the whole night, and totally forget about the swan.

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Until we reach the beginning of this story with my mother in a panic thinking I had just committed vehicular manslaughter and telling me she got rid of the evidence.

[Elvis]

Unbelievable.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Ssdgm. B. Wow.

[Elvis]

I mean, now you know that your.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Mom is a good one.

[Elvis]

Got your back.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She's not a real one.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She actually does love you.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Can you imagine?

[Elvis]

No, that's so.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, my mother would be like, I called the police. Go downstairs, comb your hair.

[Elvis]

I feel like my mom would. Would hide evidence for me.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She would.

[Elvis]

Yeah. All right. This is my neighbor. I'm not going to read you the rest. I don't want to get roasted for a shitty intro. So I'll begin with a simple, hi, stupid.

[Karen Kilgariff]

God, what are you even doing?

[Elvis]

I've been listening to you guys since 2020, and I've wished I had something to write in about. Completely forgetting about the one story that is my entire personality, other than the fact that the building John Wayne Gacy was interviewed in by police is now the office of my best friend's corporate job and is a town over from where we grew up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That is some deep trivia.

[Elvis]

Yeah, totally. Okay. Anyway, I grew up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, right behind the courthouse. Our block had about 15 kids living there, including my three siblings and I. And this was the late 90s, early 2000s, so there were always kids outside when it was nice. Well, one day when I was maybe seven or eight, we had a new neighbor move in next door to us named Jeff. Not his real name. Jeff was a single adult man who at the time seemed to be about 40, but I was also 7, so I didn't know. No, no. He was about 28.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, exactly.

[Elvis]

We received a knock on our front door. One day after he moved in and being the nosy child I was, I went to the door with my mom to see who. I loved meeting people, so I was excited to see a new face.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hey.

[Elvis]

Hi. I'm seven. Well, Jeff introduced himself and began to inform us that as part of Megan's Law, and it says. Yes, you read that right. He had to go door to door and let all the parents know that he was, in fact, a registered sex offender. Holy shit. I feel like that should probably happen more than it does in Los Angeles, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, the door to door part, well, reminds me of the Big Lebowski.

[Elvis]

Of course.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's like, of course. God damn, He's a pederast.

[Elvis]

Now, when we were told the story by him and our parents, he told us he was watching regular old porn, and his nephew walked in and saw it, told his mom, Jeff's sister, who then reported him. He was a very nice guy and his crime seemed relatively harmless. So naturally, all the parents let us go to his house whenever we wanted. No, late 90s, early 2000s. He was a cool guy in his 20s, right? He always had those long popsicles, you know, the ones in the plastic sleeve in his garage freezer for all of us. And we would often go over to his garage and grab some, whether he was home or not. He was that kind of cool adult.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He's a cool long salad popsicle kind of adult.

[Elvis]

Always had free sweets. I used to dog sit for him by myself, too. Yikes. He never did anything to any of us. And it was not that, you know, of. And it wasn't until we were all older that we realized how absolutely batshit our parents were for allowing us to spend all caps one on one time with this man.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It turns my stomach.

[Elvis]

My mom would have scratched his eyes out in the moment. She would never have allowed that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

My mother would have gotten him out of the city. Yeah, she would have absolutely disappeared, that man.

[Elvis]

Yes, 100%. Anyway, my brother is now in law enforcement and recently did more digging because surely his only crime wasn't simply for watching porn. That doesn't make sense. All caps. Nope, all caps. It was for child pornography film slash photos of a 13 year old when he was 26. Again, why were our parents so lax about this? Because 90s, 2000s, I guess. I'm glad the registry is so easily accessible now because what the fuck? Yeah, stay sexy. And maybe don't let sex offenders move into neighborhoods full of children. S. God. I mean, almost seems like you should have to, like, give them a piece of paper that says what you did on it. Instead of being like, here, all I did was like, I got caught urinating in public or something. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, it should be like, not this guy's making up. Just know that you can look it up. Guys Sex Offender Registry, like, tells you how many sex offenders live in your neighborhood. It's truly terrifying.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Alarmingly insane.

[Elvis]

There are mug shots and it's scary. Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Elvis]

Mile one or marathon training.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Elvis]

Now that's a lot of socks and.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Elvis]

Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Elvis]

Acorns lets you get started with the.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Elvis]

As hard as you do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Sign up now and join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com murder or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier 2 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and Registered Investment Advisor New important [e-mail] murder goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The subject line of this email is because everything goes here apparently Hi beloveds, I was listening to I'm so Sorry.

[Elvis]

I love it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hi beloveds. I don't think anyone's ever said that to me.

[Elvis]

I like it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I was listening to a minisode from 2021 tonight that featured a six year old yelling to her mom to get her favorite wine from the liquor store when it finally sank in that you any kind of story. So here's your Shut up.

[Elvis]

That's a good one.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But also yes, you're finally getting it. When I was nine my dad brought my brothers and I with him on a business trip to Washington DC. My 14 year old brother Andrew got to bring his best friend Graham. I honestly don't know what my dad was thinking letting Graham come with us. He and my brother were constantly getting in trouble.

[Elvis]

Oh Jesus.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We stayed at one of those hotels whose lower level was attached to a below ground shopping mall.

[Elvis]

Oh yeah, so rad you don't have to go outside ever.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I think we stayed in that hotel in Washington dc.

[Elvis]

Remember we stayed in those before and.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It had the habit trail connector to a different building?

[Elvis]

Yeah, cuz it's freezing there all the time.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I think so.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. Also, I just like to always be a part of everybody else's memories too. Me too. My younger brother and I stayed with my dad in one room while Andrew and Graham got their own room and a strict curfew. My dad's second mistake. One night after my younger brother and I fell asleep, my dad decided to check on Andrew and Graham and I guess his gut told him that they were up to no good and behold, their room was empty. It turns out that earlier in the day they're 14. Yeah, earlier in the day they had met some girls in the mall and made a plan to meet up with them later that night. Now, this was back in 1989, well before cell phones. So my dad had to wait in that hotel room, getting angrier and angrier. Finally, at midnight, these two 14 year old dummies stumbled back into the room and came face to face with our furious dad, who uttered the wor that have become infamous in our family. When we get back to Michigan, you two are dog meat.

[Elvis]

Dog meat. Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Dog meat. Let's just say that Graham did not join us on any future trips and my brother spent the remainder of the school year grounded in parentheses. This was spring break, so we're talking months here. Stay sexy and don't bring troublemakers on your family vacations. Warmly, Stella.

[Elvis]

Stella. I have that same brother. He had that same best friend. Yep. They would have burnt something to the ground. So actually, your dad should have been pleased that they came home by midnight. Like, that's not that bad.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, you know, that's very true. Because for a second I was like, are these 14 year olds gonna be drunk?

[Elvis]

Yeah. Or are they gonna be like, yeah, Secret service is like, excuse me, sir, you need to come get your kid. Like, that's what my brother would have fucking done.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They were in the oval office. Asher broke into the oval Office.

[Elvis]

Asher and Ryan, they broke in and they stole a bunch of fucking.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They drank.

[Elvis]

Took a sip of every single different.

[Karen Kilgariff]

In the fucking bar cart and they lived. They lived their lives. They thrived.

[Elvis]

Actually did that at my friend, at his friend's house. Drink one sip of every alcohol in the bar.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Get that cream de mint.

[Elvis]

Ugh. They got drunk. Okay. This is about a Siamese cat hero. Long time listener. And I miss you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And you just read a story about.

[Elvis]

Elvis and it's my story. I'm trying to. Try not to cry. Longtime listener, I still miss your Elvis. Because we had a spunky Siamese cat as well.

[Georgia Hardstark]

His name was Rutherford.

[Elvis]

And I like to think of him as a distant murderino relative of Elvis because he understood the assignment to protect me. One night while I was in junior high, the police put our entire neighborhood on lockdown. Police wanted every window and door locked with all curtains closed. Someone had driven by our neighbor's house and shot through the picture window about half a dozen times.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Whoa.

[Elvis]

Our friend was sitting in a recliner and got hit in the leg. Bear in mind that this was 1977. We had zero idea what gun violence was, and drive by shootings weren't a thing for decades to come.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's insane.

[Elvis]

Yeah. Later that night I cracked my bedroom window open about 2 inches.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Why you ask?

[Elvis]

Because my cat loved to sit on the windowsill. And what Rutherford wanted, Rutherford got. I bet this left my curtain slightly parted and not entirely closed as instructed by police. Suddenly, Rutherford jumped to the floor and flattened himself out. I mean, belly to the floor with all four legs stretched out like a carpet cartoon character. He laid there staring through the wall as if he could see outside and was literally growling just like a dog. Elvis has growled before. I swear he looked at me and then looked at my bedroom door and then back at the wall facing outside and just kept growling. I knew he wanted me to hit the deck and get out of my room, so I did my best GI Joe army crawl and slithered out of the door and up the stairs to tell my parents that Rutherford spotted something outside.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry, but just the description of the eye where it's like, you out now. See that you get to my six.

[Elvis]

Yeah, yeah, totally. It's hilarious.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hilarious that Rutherford was also a Navy seal, not just a Siamese cat.

[Elvis]

That's right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Navy Seal.

[Elvis]

Point. Cause he was a Seal. Point. Navy Siamese. My dad hopped out of bed, bolted past me, rushed out the door, and literally chased a man into a field behind our house. So there really was someone there.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Fuck.

[Elvis]

Dad returned safely with my mother screaming at him that he could have been killed. I remember being terrified of a shooter and mortified. I had witnessed my pale skinned, bony legged father running around in nothing but his tighty whinys. Dear God and baby Jesus. 48 years later and I still can't unsee it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Thankfully, due to our encounter, the police apprehended the creep. Rutherford fucking got him.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Jesus Christ.

[Elvis]

Rutherford got the bad guy. He had recently been released from jail and was seeking revenge on our neighbor for stealing his girlfriend while he had been incarcerated. The guy got shot.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, shit.

[Elvis]

The police said he had returned that night to see if he had been successful in killing the guy. Turns out the week prior to the shooting, he had placed a bomb on the front doorstep of a man responsible for putting him in jail in the first place.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Jesus.

[Elvis]

Luckily, both his victims recovered from their wounds as a murderino. I'd like to say that my Siamese cat saved me from a peeping tom and a poorly skilled attempted murderer. Maybe Rutherford was Elvis's great grandpa and grandpa is Paw.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow. All the things you love in one sentence.

[Elvis]

Stay sexy and listen when your pets are trying to save you from psychos. Inga.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Inga.

[Elvis]

That's a great name.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow. Yeah. Nice I know. Yeah boy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. You don't have to be good with money to want to be better with money. Acorns is for people who want to get started but don't know where to start, AKA most of us. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. Save, invest and learn from one easy app. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now. Even if all you've got is spare change, you don't need to be an expert. Acorns recommends a diversified portfolio that can help you weather all of the market's ups and downs. Acorns diversified portfolios are managed by pros at the world's top investment firms. You just need to stick with it and Acorns makes that easy too. Acorns automatically invest your money, giving it a chance to grow with time. Give your money the chance to work.

[Elvis]

As hard as you do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Sign up now and join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com murder or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier 2 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor new important [e-mail] murder goodbye it can't be a coincidence that Mental Health Awareness Month and Mother's Day are both in May. Talkspace doesn't think so and they're here to help you unpack it. Talkspace makes getting help convenient. You can take your appointments from the comfort and privacy of your own home and exchange text, voice or video messages.

[Elvis]

With your therapist too.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You Talkspace makes it easy, accessible and affordable to face your challenges, whether that's a mental health condition, relationship conflicts, past trauma or everyday stress. And find your path to move forward with resilience and peace. Plus, most insured members have a zero dollar copay. One of the reasons I adore Talkspace is that texting thing. I don't have that with my therapist and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble checking in with my therapist before I act every now and then. And that alone, if you're just having some stress in life will help you so much. So take care of yourself this month and every month with Talkspace. Talkspace is in network with most major insurance plans, but if you pay out of pocket As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com mfm and enter promo code space80. That's S, P, A, C, E80 to match with a licensed therapist. Today, go to talkspace.com mFM and enter promo code space80.

[Elvis]

Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All right, well, thank you.

[Elvis]

No, you have one more and I have one more.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What? My apologies.

[Elvis]

I guess I have one more since you must have one more.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, I must. Okay, so let's see. The subject line of this email is an almost kidnapping. Hello, ladies. I've been listening to your podcast since 2017 and I try not to miss an episode.

[Elvis]

Thank you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But you know what? They keep like, if you do miss one, it's just sitting there waiting for you. It's not radio, but we need those.

[Elvis]

Numbers week by week.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know, that's true. That's true. You two have made me laugh, cry, and check the backseat of my car every single time I get in. Love it and I thank you for it. Before I get into my hometown story, I have to share a quick hot dog moment. My husband and I shop at Costco and like Pavlov's dogs, we cannot leave without the $1.50 hot dog and coke combo. Hell yeah, it's delicious. And honestly, the hot dog being longer than the bun just feels like a win every time.

[Elvis]

Have you seen there's like a T shirt going around? That's just the picture of the hot dog deal on the costume on the menu. Just a T shirt with that. I love it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So good. Also, that's the kind of thing where it's like, hahaha, that's so funny. It's like, no, everyone wants that T shirt.

[Elvis]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Everyone loves it.

[Elvis]

It's like the hippest T shirt.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Especially now. Yeah, hot dog, hot dog, Costco are heroes. Hot dog are heroes. Bye. Bye.

[Elvis]

Okay, Karen's going to do the hot dog or sandwiches or heroes thing. No, no, no.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, now to my story. When I was 15, I ran track for my high school and often had to take the five o' clock activity bus home. This was 1986, and back then. Oh, thank God, someone that's almost my age. What a great fucking feeling. This was 1986, and back then, school buses didn't drop you off at your front door. Instead, they get you within a mile or two and you walk the rest. Usually no big deal because I was with friends or my sisters. But not this day. This day, I was the only one getting off at my stop, my house was the last one on a long dead end road lined with trees and houses. I was about halfway home, walking on the right side of the road, when a man in a small red hatchback pulled up next to me with the window rolled down. He leaned toward the passenger side and tried to act friendly, saying I looked tired and that I should get in so he could drive me home.

[Elvis]

Fuck you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Anyone that tells you that you look tired?

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Whether it's someone in your office or somebody in a car on the road.

[Elvis]

There'S an ulterior motive. The person is trying to. Yeah. Make you feel bad. Or that you feel it like look like shit. And the person's trying to get you in their fucking car.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Just reject it all.

[Elvis]

No niceties?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Nope. Okay. Immediately, I got that feeling. You know the one. The back of your neck tightens and your mind is screaming, stranger danger. I knew who Ted Bundy was. I'd read the Stranger Beside Me. I wasn't about to play nice.

[Elvis]

Hell yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Love this. I didn't talk to him or look at him or even acknowledge him. I just kept walking. I straight ahead. He kept trying, insisting I get in his car. When I didn't respond, he finally snapped. He yelled, fuck you, then bitch. And squealed his tires as he sped down the road. Of course, this is a dead end road, so I knew he'd be coming back. I crossed the street so I'd be further from him when he passed, again thinking at the very least he couldn't grab me easily from across the car.

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And yep, here he comes, slowing down again. This time he was awkward, all apologies, saying he didn't mean to yell, that he felt bad, and he still wanted to give me a ride home to make it up to me. You fucking psycho.

[Elvis]

What a creeper.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, no, sir. If I didn't get in your car before you cursed me out, I definitely am not getting in now.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I stayed quiet, kept walking, and ignored him again. He finally drove off a second time, yelling more profanities out the window. Of course. D. Now I had a new problem. He didn't know where I lived, but I was terrified he might come back again to see which house I went into. Yeah, I also knew enough to know how stalkers operate. I wasn't about to lead him to my front door, so I tightened up my backpack straps and ran the last half mile home. I made it, lock the door, and thankfully nothing else happened. I didn't tell my mom. I'm still not sure why. Because it was 1986 and you literally would have been yelled at for being harassed.

[Elvis]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry. Maybe I just wanted to believe it was over. I kept taking the five o' clock bus, but from then on I switched to the one that dropped me a little bit further out. I had to cut through the woods and hop a fence into my backyard. But honestly that felt safer. Sorry, but that is such 15 year old logic.

[Elvis]

I know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll go the way More dangerous.

[Elvis]

I'll go the way where no one can see me.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll go the way where this guy is waiting.

[Elvis]

Yeah. Where he's camping. Do you remember back then being like, I don't want to tell my mom because she'll make a big deal of this and I don't want to deal. Like she'll make it a big thing. Yeah. And we were just like so annoyed that she was so like. But it's like, oh no. Yeah, you should have made it a big. A big deal.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. It was the luck and the benefit of being a child and not understanding what she was upset about.

[Elvis]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Because like she's gonna make a big deal about it. Cause she knows things that you wouldn't imagine are possible.

[Elvis]

Right, right. She's not embarrassing you. She's like trying to protect children.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Just tell your mom.

[Elvis]

Just tell your mommy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's how they do it these days. Yeah, okay. Oh, that was the end. Anyway, thank you for being the murdery aunties we all need. Stay sexy and never ever and never underestimate the Costco hot dog. Ssdgm. Bettina.

[Elvis]

Good one, Bettina.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Beautiful.

[Elvis]

Okay, well actually this one kind of fits in the theme. Hot dogs, no children. Fucking politeness. So same thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Perfect.

[Elvis]

Okay. First time I heard the fuck word from my 12 year olds. Hello. My ear canal BFFs.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hey. Hey.

[Elvis]

I'm a very longtime listener, many time mental emailer, but first time actually emailing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Welcome.

[Elvis]

Last night my 12 year old daughters, I have identical twins, informed me of an incident that happened to their best friend earlier this week. Their friend said she got off the bus after school. Hey. And was walking home with her two friends when she noticed a man in his 60s following them. She said she recognized him from a few years ago when he followed her from the bus and told her he knew her mom and asked her to come with him. At that time, she knew something odd was up and said no thank you and quickly walked home. Earlier this week, as soon as she saw him, she recognized him and she told her friends to run. The three 12 year old girls ran into her apartment and locked all the doors. He eventually caught up and was looking into her apartment windows and sliding glass doors. This is exactly what you just read.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Elvis]

She immediately called her parents. Yay. Who then called the police. She was interviewed by the cops and said she couldn't stop shaking for the rest of the night.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. Of course not.

[Elvis]

Amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You were in serious danger.

[Elvis]

You were right. As you can imagine, hearing the story really shook us up. And as I processed it, my girls proceeded to come up with a plan, including what they would do in that situation and what they would say to the police. Because remember, kids are sometimes afraid of the police or they think they need a really big reason to call them. Like someone is hurt or there's a fire. Yeah. As my girls were going through their pretend 911 script, I calmly and deliberately channeled Karen and Georgia and I let them know that if they are ever in any type of situation where a stranger or a stranger adjacent is asking them a question or trying to speak to them, they don't owe them a single glance or utterance in their direction. Listen to your gut, run away, call 911 and find an adult that they trust. Or a goth.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Find a goth. Find a goth.

[Elvis]

I told them they can fuck politeness and I even instructed them to repeat the phrase back to me. They looked at me wide eyed mouths a gay. And as I nodded encouragement and showed them my serious face, they gladly shouted politeness. My heart swelled with pride for my baby murderinos and gratitude for the lessons you brave ladies have taught us, possibly even saving some lives along the way. Because here's the thing. Some of us can become so consumed by our anxiety and our involuntary imaginations that in order to protect ourselves, we develop an off switch where we tell ourselves that doesn't happen here or it won't happen to us. Yep. Alternatively, many of us are sheltered and naive and whether we want to admit it or not, we simply don't have the impetus to mentally prepare ourselves. Staying sexy and not getting murdered up here in Michigan. And it says, yeah, Vince, I'm with you too, Elena.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She her amazing job. Elena. First of all, I think it's like I sometimes do get worried when 12 year olds write in and they're like, I listen to your podcast where it's just like, it just simply is not for children. No, no. But if they're in their some hideous adult breaks through and they suddenly have to start considering what these hideous adults may or may not do, then they do get to say the effort.

[Elvis]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And they and they get to do.

[Elvis]

All these things, practice it so they're not terrified, you know? Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And they practice kind of saying like this weird thing that's happening that when it does happen to you. And like, I'm sure everyone could tell a story like this where Suddenly as a 12 year old, you're interacting with a grown man who has the weirdest vibes.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That is all you need to make a scene. That's all you need that experience singularly. You don't have to keep on. It's not three times. It shouldn't happen at all. So literally, go find someone that looks like someone's grandma.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

A cashier, a older lady cashier and say, that man keeps talking to me and I don't know who it is.

[Elvis]

I love that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's it.

[Elvis]

Hell yeah. Send us your stories.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Do you have one of those stories.

[Elvis]

Where you fucked politeness before? We want to fucking hear those stories so bad. At my favorite murdermail.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Please, please. And until you have a story like.

[Elvis]

That for us, stay sexy and don't get murdered. Get away, Elvis.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Do you want a cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an Exactly Right production.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillace.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murdermail.com.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And now you can watch us On Exactly Right's YouTube page.

[Elvis]

And while you're there, please like and subscribe.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye.

[Elvis]

Goodbye.