MFM Minisode 451

Summary

My Favorite Murder Minisode 451: Grandparents Day Gone Wild

Release Date: September 1, 2025
Hosts: Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark
Theme: Listener hometown stories about unforgettable grandparents—some heartwarming, some hilarious, and most with a wild twist. Karen and Georgia celebrate Grandparents Day with tales of donkey crimes, near-fatal construction incidents, rebellious grannies, swinger surprises, dog heroics, and mortifying funerals.

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Episode Overview

In Minisode 451, Karen and Georgia dedicate the episode to “Grandparents Day,” reading fan-submitted stories about their wild, tough, or unexpectedly racy grandparents. The episode is a blend of touching, funny, and jaw-dropping accounts—each story peeling back the curtain on the secret lives and legendary exploits of grandmas and grandpas. There are mysteries, near-death survivals, secret sex tapes, feisty old ladies, and even a dog that goes from town menace to hero.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Stories

1. Two Stories of the Same Murder

[02:12-05:10] Listener: James from NYC

• Setting: Ischia, Italy, right after WWI.
• Plot: Listener recounts the murky circumstances of his great-grandfather’s death. Two conflicting family stories emerge:
  • Official Version: Killed by a donkey—his great-grandfather tried to shoot an ornery donkey; the animal kicked the rifle, which fired and killed him.
  • Alternate Version: He was shot by an army captain upon discovering an affair with his wife.
• Aftermath: The grandmother was raised by her own grandparents and went on to become a legendary, resilient woman.
• Memorable Moment:
  “Stay sexy and don't get shot by a donkey or your captain whose wife you’re having an affair with.” — James [05:08]
• Karen & Georgia Commentary: Amusement at the donkey story (“Who would shoot a donkey for being ornery?” [05:27]), and some lighthearted banter about searching for James at every Williamsburg pizzeria.

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2. The Phineas Gage Grandpa

[05:45-09:41] Listener: Lily

• Setting: Minnesota, 20 years ago.
• Story: Lily’s grandpa survived a gruesome accident—fell off a ladder, was impaled with rebar entering his head and exiting under his eye. Stayed conscious the whole time, even offered his own saw to the firefighters.
• Firefighters’ response: Practiced the cut on spare rebar to not hurt him; a firefighter stood holding cardboard to shade his eyes.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Karen: “He was conscious the entire time.” [06:23]
  • Georgia: “No, thank you. Just put me under, right? Oh, fuck.” [06:25]
  • “The man was nearly rebar shish kebabbed to death. But it’s the knee that finally took him down.” — Karen [08:28]
• Aftermath: Fully recovered, played pickleball until recently. Family gave fire station the saw that saved him.
• Shout-out:
  “Shout out to all the first responders and medical professionals. They were the real heroes then and now.” — Lily [09:36]

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3. Grandma Inger: Sex, Cigarettes, and TSA Fights

[12:21-15:02] Listener: Sarah (she/her)

• Setting: Denmark & US.
• Plot: Danish grandma-in-law, Inger, was a proud “zero fucks” lady who prioritized “parties” (swinger events) until her doctor made her choose between partying and cigarettes. She chose cigarettes:
  “She could smoke multiple times a day and didn’t have the stamina to keep up anymore.” — Sarah [13:25]
• Feisty moments: Got into regular arguments with TSA, eventually required family escorts at US security.
• Heartfelt ending:
  “When I see my impish kiddo flash a quick smile and tease her grandpa, Inger’s son, I know she has more than a little of Inger’s spirit.” — Sarah [14:44]
• Karen & Georgia: Laughing about raising a kid with "just little parts" of Inger's boldness.

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4. Catholic Grandma’s Secret Orgy Tapes

[15:16-18:08] Listener: Casey

• Setting: Sacramento, California, via Peoria, Illinois.
• Story: After Grandma Mary’s death, family discovers not old family films, but reels of her participating in orgies—an apparent double life behind devout Catholic and Avon lady persona.
• Memorable Reactions:
  • Karen: “Grandma was a swinger and these were her big orgy sex tapes.” [17:09]
  • Georgia: “Vintage orgy sex tapes!” [17:15]
• Takeaway:
  “I realize the story has absolutely nothing to do with murder, but is arguably just as horrifying.” — Casey [17:52]
• Call for Stories: Karen suggests a themed call for “Or So We Thought” stories:
  “Or so we thought. Please email them to myfavoritemurder@gmail... about anything!” [18:25]

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5. Grandma Sandy: The Funeral from Hell, Plus Secret Nipple Piercings

[21:00-24:07] Listener: K (they/them)

• Setting: Ford Automotive, post-abuse freedom.
• Highlight: Grandma Sandy, the survivor and hard worker, is remembered fondly until her funeral exposes her wild side.
  • Listener, at 15, accidentally says “Oh shit” into the microphone at the funeral, then falls down the steps (22:06–22:17).
  • At the wake, learns grandma had pierced nipples, was a party buddy, and once brought weed brownies to the Ford Christmas party.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Grandma’s big saggy boobs pierced. I love it.” — Georgia [24:13]
  • Karen: “There are certain people you’d just like to see in a certain light. But I guess not.” [24:22]
• Takeaway:
  “Don’t forget grandmas can have a wild side, too.” — K [24:07]

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6. Smokey, the Notorious Dog Turned Town Hero

[24:38-28:19] Listener: Annalise

• Setting: Edenderry, Southern Ireland, 1940s.
• Story: Smokey, once the “menace” of town (dangerous to children), escapes the pound and saves the family from a fire by raising the alarm, becoming a hero with songs and press clippings.
• Twist: Grandpa Sean O'Connell, the rescued, went on to become a detective/hero himself.
• Family Poem:
  “Oh, darling Sue, I do love you. I love you in your nightie when the moonlight flits across your tits. Jesus Christ Almighty.” — Grandpa Sean [28:01]
• Georgia:
  “Doom dog saves a family. Must Smokey be destroyed?” — Georgia [26:38]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Who would shoot a donkey for being ornery? That’s what they’re famous for.”
  — Karen Kilgariff [05:27]
• “No, thank you. Just put me under, right?”
  — Georgia Hardstark [06:25] (reacting to the rebar/grandpa story)
• “She chose cigarettes [over sex parties] because, and I quote, she could smoke multiple times a day and didn't have the stamina to keep up anymore.”
  — Sarah [13:25]
• “Grandma was a swinger and these were her big orgy sex tapes.”
  — Karen Kilgariff [17:09]
• “Grandma’s big saggy boobs pierced. I love it.”
  — Georgia Hardstark [24:13]
• “Maybe don't shoot the bad dog.”
  — Annalise [28:16]

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Episode Structure & Flow

• Opening: Grandparents Day introduction and theme reveal ([02:00])
• Story 1: James’ mysterious Italian great-grandfather ([02:12])
• Story 2: Grandpa survives being impaled and the hero fire crew ([05:45])
• Story 3: Danish grandma-in-law’s wild life ([12:21])
• Story 4: Grandma’s secret swinger reels ([15:16])
• Story 5: Funeral mishaps and nipple piercings ([21:00])
• Story 6: Town menace dog becomes the family’s savior ([24:38])
• Closing: Hosts urge listeners to call their grandparents and reflect on memories ([28:21-28:31])

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Listener Takeaways

• Grandparents are full of surprises—sometimes heroic, sometimes wild, often hilarious.
• Behind every sweet old lady or old-school grandpa may be stories of resilience, rebellion, or (yikes) real-to-reel orgies.
• Family stories can grow and shift over time—and sometimes, the real story is way better than the family legend.

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Final Message

Karen:
“Grandpa, grandma, grandparent, have a great Grandparents Day. Call your grandparents if you still have them. You will miss them when they're gone.” [28:21]

Georgia:
“Stay sexy and don’t get murdered.” [28:28]

---

This episode is a must-listen for the laughter, heart, and reminder that even the most buttoned-down relatives may have a secret (or scandalous!) past.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

My favorite. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder, the minisode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This is a special occasion because apparently Grandparents Day is a thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's Grandparents Day.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. And it's coming up, so we're gonna just do grandparents stories.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, I mean, you have them for us to read, so we're gonna read them. Okay. You wanna go?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Sure. Okay. This one's called Two stories of the Same murder. Hello, Georgia and Karen, or Karen and Georgia. You are both equal in my eyes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Thank you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Finally, I have a family story for you that I think you'll very much appreciate. It involves the murder of my great grandfather in, shall we say, suspicious circumstances. Allow me to take you back to a different era and a different place entirely. Okay, picture it. Southern Italy, right after the end of World War I. I've been there at the end of World War I. My great grandfather had just returned home from his discharge from the Italian military. Yes, he fought on the wrong side, but then they were on the right side. I don't know It's a very confusing war.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, it is. It is.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My grandmother was around 2 years old, and my great grandmother was pregnant. The island where they lived, and it's Ischia.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Ischia.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You've been there?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Ischia.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's where my. When I do my very boring vacation slideshow, which I'm going to do for the fan cult, that's the island I do it from.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God. So you know it's off the coast of Naples. Yes. Amazing. I love it. There was a particularly ornery donkey that was causing some problems for the town folks.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I saw that donkey. Not really.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I'm friends with him. My great grandfather decided that he was going to take care of the donkey and went to go shoot it with his rifle. Sorry. Sorry, everyone.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's rough.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The story goes that when my great grandfather was going to shoot the donkey, the donkey kicked the rifle, which went off and accidentally shot my great grandfather. He died from this shot your fucking friend, the donkey.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Shit.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That is the story of how my great grandfather died after having survived all through World War I.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's horrible.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Or was it? Oh, a few years ago, I went to visit Ischia with my cousin and found out that he may not have been killed by that donkey.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Instead, what really happened, or might have, who's to say? Is that my great grandfather had been having an affair with the wife of his captain. And when the captain found out, he went and shot my great grandfather. Oh. We know that he did indeed die from being shot, but I guess we will never know who pulled the trigger. The donkey or.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or the captain in the army.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That sounds a little more likely that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Carries his own gun with him at all times.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My grandmother, despite not having her father and then being given up to her grandparents to raise. And then it says, remember that whole end of world one Italy, rebuilding everyone was poor thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, she turned out to be a pretty awesome and badass lady in her own right. She lived a long, long life and raised a great family. Boy, do I have stories about her. But that's for another time. Thank you two for doing everything that you do and being a highlight of my week. I'm a high school teacher and I will listen to your podcast on my drive to and from work. Stay sexy and don't get shot by a donkey or your captain whose wife you're having an affair with. Love, James from nyc P. S. I know you'll be coming to Brooklyn in November, and my partner and I will absolutely be getting tickets. He owns a pizzeria in Williamsburg and you should totally stop by for a slice or two.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What's it called?

[Georgia Hardstark]

You didn't put the name in, you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Son of a bitch. James.

[Georgia Hardstark]

James. How are you gonna know? James will go to every pizzeria in Williamsburg.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's how we do it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Is James here?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hi, we're here. We're friends of James. He said we could get at least one free slice or two. People are like, no.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, no, James here.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I love that story. But also, it's funny because if you really think about it, who would shoot a donkey for being ornery?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right? That's what, like, they're known for. Yeah. That's what they're famous for.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. It can still carry things around for you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. It's like killing a cat for being a dick. It's like that's their. That's the primary job. Yep.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All right, all right. Well, along those kind of same lines. I'm not going to read you the subject line. It says, hi, Karen in Georgia, longtime fan, first time hometown emailer. And I had to write in because yesterday just so happened to mark the 20th anniversary of my grandpa's very own Phineas Gage moment.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Back in the day, my grandpa ran a construction company with his two brothers. One afternoon on the job, he fell off a ladder and landed directly onto a piece of rebar.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, no.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It pierced through the back of his head. Oh, my God. And came out just under his eye. And here's the truly unbelievable part. He was conscious the entire time.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No, thank you. Just put me under right? Oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Bite this belt. Drink this rum. Hit me in the head with a mallet.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Anything happens to me, I'm gonna wake up in the hospital. I don't wanna have the in between.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Please.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You know what I mean?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, for sure.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Now that we've gotten.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll make sure that happens.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Thank you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll be there. I'll be there.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Whatever it is.

[Karen Kilgariff]

When my Grandpa's brothers called 91 1, because, yes, my grandpa's brothers had to witness this nightmare, the fire department arrived and immediately clocked this as one of those calls that would stick with them forever. Yes. Of course. They even told us they practiced cutting a different piece of rebar nearby first. Because they knew the wrong move on this and it would cost my grandpa his life. That's like the highest of pressure.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But the rebar they were practicing on cutting, kept bending, and nothing was working. That's when my grandpa still skewered pipes up and says, I've got a saw on the back of my truck. That'll cut through it. Because of course he did. The firefighters grabbed the saw, had a few guys hold the rebar steady, and one brave soul cut it from underneath his head. Meanwhile, he was annoyed that the sun was in his eyes while lying there in paleo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Put a pair of sunglasses on this poor man. Someone, someone has got some Oakleys or some fucking, what do they call them? Blue blockers.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Nice. Construction worker blue blockers. And then we're moving into the weekend of Bernie's portion of this email. And so meanwhile, he was so annoyed that the sun was in his eyes while l there impaled. So one firefighter's sole job was to stand above him and block the light with a piece of cardboard.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Priorities. Obviously, they managed to load him onto a stretcher, and while in the ambulance, a priest literally stood over him, giving him his last rice.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The hospital journey was another roller coaster. We went from updates saying he's brain dead and he has no quality of life to he's paralyzed and he'll never walk again. But today he's very much alive, fully functioning, and until a recent knee issue was out there playing, playing pickleball.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The man was nearly rebar shish kebab to death. But it's the knee that finally took him down.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's kind of bullshit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

For five years, we would visit the fire department on the anniversary of my grandpa's accident and even donated the tool that saved his life. My grandparents have since moved to Arizona as they realized life is too short to live in Minnesota when you hate the winter. That's amazing. They still come back for summers. And this last anniversary was special as we got to spend it with his heroes and caught up with three of the men that were called on the scene all those years ago.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God, that's incredible.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll leave you with one of my favorite grandpa memories. Just before his accident, I was eight. He was helping my mom renovate our house and I'd follow him around like his little sidekick. Anytime he'd get hurt, I'd ask, how come you're not crying? And he'd just say, wilbur, didn't you know your grandpa was made of steel? And after what happened, I have no doubt about that being true. Also, shout out to all the first responders and medical professionals. They were the real heroes then and now. It's wild to think that a well placed dermal saw in the back of a truck plus a truly badass team of firefighters is the reason my grandpa is still around. Kicking ass. Stay sexy and stay away from ladders.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Lily. Oh, my God. Lily. Tough as nails.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So good.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Incredible shish kebab.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He got rebar through his brain like an inch away.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And it would have probably killed him.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Because it probably, like, went under his brain.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Could it have gone through and still be fine?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I don't know how brains work.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I don't either. Or how rebar works. I like saying rebar. Like, I work with it all the.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Time, and I'm just like, is it rebarb or rebar?

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's rebar.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Like, reinforcement bar in the metal and cement.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I get it now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Good job.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Thank you so much.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

That's squarespace.com murder code murder goodbye goodbye cigarettes or Sex? Grandma's heart couldn't handle both oh, good evening. Let's get into it since this is a free for all. I had to write in about my Danish grandmother in law Inger, change the name or not, but that bitch was proud of every decision she made, so I'm going to give her full credit. Inger was a crotchety old lady with limited English who gave zero fucks about what others thought of how she lived her life. There are many Inger stories, but I will share two today. As she got older, Inger loved to go to her parties, as she called them. What else was happening? Didn't matter. They were always a priority. My husband flew from the US to visit and she blew him a kiss as she walked out the door to join her friends, AKA the swingers. She finally had to stop going to her swinger parties when her doctor told her that she had to choose between her parties and cigarettes like her heart couldn't handle them both.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh shit.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She chose cigarettes because she and I quote, could smoke multiple times a day and didn't have the stamina to keep up anymore. Just watch.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Jesus.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Grandma is going to swinger parties.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Grandma, I don't want to hear about your life like this.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Inger also needed a babysitter to come to the US because she got into too many fights with the TSA agents. Opinionated, not one to mince words and a limited understanding of English made for a challenging trip through security when asked if she packed her bag because you know they'd ask you, did anyone else besides you pack your bag? She said, quote, I'm 80. Why would I pack my bag? Are you stupid? After one too many fights, TSA kindly requested that she be escorted by another family member each time she came to visit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So she's showing up like at security at the airport and just fighting with whoever talks to her?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, like being contrary for no reason.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Inger passed away just months before our daughter was born. And it grieves me often that they never met Earthside. We hadn't print. I thought they named their daughter Earthside because it's capitalized.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Beautiful little Earthside.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Earthside. We hadn't announced our pregnancy when we visited one last time before she passed, literally a day after we left. But she told her daughter that she knew her grandson was going to be a dad soon. When I see my impish kiddo flash a quick smile and tease her grandpa Inger's son, I know she has more than a little of Inger's spirit. And I intend to fan those flames as much as humanly possible.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sweet little Earthside Earthside She's a wild one.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Stay sexy and know which vice your heart can handle in your 80s. Sarah. She her also.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's like. And we're gonna raise our child to be just like their great grandmother. Maybe, or I don't know, pick little parts of that. Be careful for Earthside. Well, I was actually looking to switch mine around because this one goes with that one nicely.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Great.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I won't read you the subject line. It says. Hey guys, I'm just gonna get right into this. I'd like to first start with a little background on my grandma. She's an Italian Catholic bird who was raised in Peoria, Illinois, and relocated to Sacramento, California, where she married a serviceman and had four beautiful children. She then divorced that man and began an admittedly short relationship with another man with whom she had one child. And then it says in parentheses, my fava. I'm assuming that's how they want me to pronounce it. She was a single mom and lived in a beautiful Victorian home in downtown Sacramento where she would sell Avon.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She was a devout Catholic who collected creepy Jesus pictures, enjoyed gardening, and eventually spending time with her grandkids. She fought and beat breast cancer and had only one boob, which I found incredibly amusing as a child. And because she was deaf in one ear, she wouldn't hear herself fart, which again, I found awfully amusing. She was just an all around sweet and wonderful old lady.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Or so we thought. Oh no. What's the lady from Sacramento who fucked Dorothea Puente? Yeah, my grandma was Dorothea.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is the true. Or so we thought. Email. Anyway, my grandma Mary passed in 1999 after a long battle with cancer. After she passed, we all found ourselves going through the relics in her basement which had been acquired over a lifetime time. I'm big into nostalgia and anything vintage, so I found myself buried in letters between her and My grandfather Parentheses, who was a total piece of shit. But that's a story for another day. And pictures. And we even found some old 8 millimeter film reels. Score. I immediately decided to hook up her old projector and see what was on the film. Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The answer is yes. I guess I was expecting footage of a 50s era Christmas or something of that nature. Nope. Big fucking nope. Grandma was a swinger and these were her big orgy sex tapes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, vintage orgy sex tapes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Real to real sex tapes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Unbelievable.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Now I'm a total sex positive hippie. But. But there's a level of horror in finding footage of Granny in an orgy. I mean Jesus, I bet that's worth.

[Georgia Hardstark]

A lot of money.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also I just like as I was reading this I'm like Catholic, Catholic, Catholic where I'm just like man, she really broke free. I feel like my whole life was a lie. Reading the letters only confirmed what a tart my granny was and the pictures are forever scarred into my retinas. I realize the story has absolutely nothing to do with murder, but is arguably just as horrifying. Agree. And I thought you'd all be thoroughly entertained by my misfortune.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We are.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Anyway, stay sexy and be careful while rifling through Granny's blood belongings. Casey.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Unbelievable.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean you're just like am I gonna see my uncle as a six year old? Like oh my God, put that on. Make sure we watch it. And then it just like.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Porn. Real to real porn.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also, just really quick, I do think we should do a call out for or so We Thought stories.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Great idea, right? Or so We Thought or so we Thought. Please email them to my favorite murder gmail about anything. Doesn't have to be about grandparents appearance.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Look, at some point you gotta retire that couch you inherited from three roommates ago.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

They offer a curated range of mid century, modern, coastal and Scandi inspired pieces that not only shine on their own, but also pair seamlessly with other article products.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Article takes great care in curating its collection, focusing solely on high quality meaningful pieces that will stand the test of time. There's no filler, every item is chosen for its craftsmanship, design and lasting value.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And article provides fast and affordable shipping across the US and Canada. You get to choose your delivery time and they'll keep you in the loop with updates along the way.

[Karen Kilgariff]

With article's 30 day satisfaction guarantee. You can shop with confidence knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. This peace of mind ensures you can invest in your home without hesitation. I have to tell you, we've talked about Article a lot, but the last thing I got from article was this little table that I've put in my front doorway and people compliment me on it every time they walk in my house. That article table is definitely everyone's favorite and it's my favorite too.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh yeah, I get compliments on all my article pieces constantly. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more.

[Karen Kilgariff]

To claim, visit article.com murder and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's a R T I c l e.com order to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more goodbye. Somewhere in your house and mine is a drawer full of bras you've tried and hated.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

But now Honey Love brings you wireless bras that are supportive and comfortable.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

And Honey Love's bras are designed with back SM fabric to prevent bra bulge. Check out their V Neck bra for a totally smooth fit under clothing.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Treat yourself to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth and save 20% off site [e-mail] mfm Use our exclusive.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. So please support our show and tell them we sent you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Experience the new standard in bras with Honey Love. Goodbye badass grandma and her any fucking story. Embarrassing funeral. Hey all. You know how awesome you are, but you don't know how awesome my grandma was so I'm gonna get right into it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Great. We want to know.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My grandma Sandy was a badass. She escaped the abuses of my piece of shit grandpa. Not a piece of shit grandpa's gone and raised my mom and her siblings on her own while working Full time at Ford Automotive as an upholsterer.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The amount of women who have had to do that and do it and no one ever emails about them. That's just what you're expected to when some piece of shit is abusive. And then you get away from them and it's like, and good luck as you do this by yourself. And they do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They do they have to.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Amen. I knew her as the most loving and funny grandma who golfed every day and lit up every room. What I didn't know was that she had a wild side. But before we get there, let's get to my role at her funeral. I was 15 and for some reason my aunt asked me to speak a passage from the Bible at this very Catholic funeral. For some reason, don't ask a 15 year old. You're right, you spit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I did a little spit take on that because I'm like, oh yeah, this is a high pressure situation.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. She had put a post it note on the page I was supposed to read. When it was my turn, I nervously walked up the steps to the pulpit. Turning the page I began to read only to realize that I was on the priest's page. Upon realizing this, I said oh shit into the microphone and quickly moved to my page, stammering at my part and rushing towards the steps where I proceeded to trip and fall down them on my ass. Oh, oh no. When I got back to the pew, face a tomato, I was met with my aunt's Catholic school teacher angry gaze upon me. Of course my great aunt was however, laughing and said my grandma would have found it hilarious. Yeah, that's kind of cool, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's very sweet. She said oh shit in church.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Shit. To a microphone at a Catholic church.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Echoing it's so like oh shit. Old fashioned. Oppressive.

[Georgia Hardstark]

At the wake was when there were even more revelations as people said their final goodbyes to my grandma. Our family friend Troy came up to me to give me his condolences. He then, licker on his breath, pulled out a photo of him and my grandma on a cruise wearing penis balloon hats.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, okay. Then you go oh, oh.

[Georgia Hardstark]

He then informed me that he and my grandma had basically been buddies my entire life and that she had her nipples pierced. No, no, I hadn't read that part.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, no, no.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God again, I was 15.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it's your grandma. Even if you were 45.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Grandma, it's your grandma. Also, apparently my grandma had brought weed brownies to the Ford Christmas party and got the head of Ford aut blitzed out of his mind. Oh, sh.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's very Mad Men.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Alrighty. That's it. Thank you all for your shenanigans and keeping me company through a lot of life's twists and turns. Stay sexy. And don't forget that grandmas can have a wild side, too.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Best K they them K. We'll never forget that. Because of your grandma's pierced nipples.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Grandma's big saggy boobs pierced. I love it. And he just felt like he had to tell her they were fuck. Grandma had fuck buddies and nipples pierced.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, it's good to know that your grandma contains multitudes, but there are certain people that you just would like to see in a certain light. Yes, but I guess not. Okay, this isn't a direct. I mean, this is a grandparent story, but it is, you know, grandparents always have their pets.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Got it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So I won't read you the subject line. It says, hello, ladies and creatures, Day one listener here. Day one listener.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Whoa.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then it says, jumping right into it because this is my family's iconic dog stream. So to begin, my grandpa grew up in a small town named Edenderry in southern Ireland with his widowed mother and five siblings, the o' Connell family.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God, can't be more Irish, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

They all lived in the town hall in the middle of the city.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Ugh.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Take me there now. They had a dog named Smokey. And Smokey, all caps was period, a period menace. He had the reputation around town for being dangerous around children, fighting and chasing kids down, et cetera. It's so old fashioned of like a biting dog that's just loose in town.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And it's like, you're not gonna get sued for it at all.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, that's Smokey. Yeah, everyone's gonna.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Don't go near Smokey.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, it's your problem as Smokey bites you. So Smokey was looking at the end of his line being labeled as public enemy number one and locked up by the civic guard in the barracks to be shot.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, fun.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then in parentheses, it says, this was the 1940s.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Early one morning, the mongrel who was locked in an outhouse cleverly escaped and raced down through the streets of Eden Dairy to get back his family. But when he arrived, the town hall was inflamed.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This is some wizard of Oz shit right here.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, it is. It's like, oh, you think I'm bad? Well, I'm about to do some. Some serious. My grandpa Sean, great grandmother and all his siblings were still inside.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What?

[Karen Kilgariff]

So what does Smokey do. He begins barking incessantly around the town square until my great grandmother woke up. And wouldn't you have it? The entire townsfolk woke up as well. So, yes, a dog named Smokey saved my family from a fire.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

My grandpa and his whole family made it out safely because of Smokey. He was hailed as a hero, and the town praised him. There was a song written about Smokey and the fire and a newspaper article.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Give me love.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Look at Smokey.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My God. Doom dog saves a family. Must Smokey be destroyed? Oh, it's exactly what I thought Smokey would look like.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And describe Smokey for the people.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Like a mutt with, like, kind of scruffy white hair with a couple spots here and there. Super mutt.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Probably, like, I'd say £40 or so. Like the perfect super mu. Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

My grandpa and his whole family made it out safely because of Smokey. He was hailed as a hero. And my grandpa, Sean o', Connell, went on to be a detective and a captain for the Garda and saved many lives himself.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sean was also an amazing storyteller and jokester and had some incredible stories from his detective work. He had his house shot at where my mom and siblings lived, worked easily with criminal informants because of his charge, and even prevented a bombing to the British Royal grounds. And much, much more. He passed away two years ago in his hometown of Eden Dairy, and is greatly missed. Thank you, ladies, for the joy that your podcast brings. You two have been a major part of my life. I've been listening since I was 15.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, no.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And I'm almost 24. You've been making sure people are staying aware of their minds, bodies, and surroundings. I can't be more grateful to have found you and your podcast. I will leave you with a poem that my grandpa passed down the family, and then in parentheses, it says in a heavy Irish accent, which I will not do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Darren, come on.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, darling Sue, I do love you. I love you in your nightie when the moonlight flits across your tits. Jesus Christ Almighty. And then it says, that's his humor for you. Stay sexy and maybe don't shoot the bad dog. Annalise, that's amazing.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That was a great one. Those were all great.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Grandpa, grandma, grandparent, have a Great Grandparents Day. Call your grandparents if you still have them. You will miss them when they're gone.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Absolutely. And stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye.

[Sponsor Voice]

Goodbye, Elvis.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Do you want a cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an exactly right production.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillace.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murder.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Gmail.Com and follow the show on Instagram.

[Karen Kilgariff]

At My Favorite Murder Listen to My Favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And now you can watch us on exactly right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe Goodbye Goodbye.

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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