MFM Minisode 471

Summary

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My Favorite Murder Minisode 471: “Panic with Purpose”

Hosts: Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark
Release Date: January 19, 2026
Theme: Community, survival, family, and the power of purposeful panic

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Episode Overview

In this Minisode, Karen and Georgia read listener-submitted “hometown” stories that range from harrowing car crashes to Edgar Allan Poe lore, babysitting misadventures, and legendary grandma getaways. The duo’s signature blend of humor and empathy highlights the resourcefulness and kindness of everyday people, accented by the recurring theme: panic with purpose.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Welcome and Philosophical Banter (02:03–02:37)

• Karen and Georgia kick off the first minisode of 2026 with tongue-in-cheek humor about the new year and current world events.
• Georgia jokes:
  “It’s 2026. The world is ending. We can do whatever the fuck we want at this point.” (02:22)
• Mood: Lighthearted, self-aware, and ready to embrace chaos.

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2. Hometown: New Orleans Car Crash (02:40–06:33)

• Listener recounts a traumatic car crash in New Orleans, hit by a drunk driver who flees the scene.
• Despite no police response, six strangers (including a nurse) come to her aid, offering medical help and emotional support.
• Community as a lifeline:
  “It goes to show that sometimes the support you need comes from unexpected places. And never underestimate how powerful community is.” (06:05)
• Notable Moment: The driver’s license plate ends up embedded in the listener’s car.
• Karen reflects:
  “Also, the odds that a nurse would be standing by totally is miraculous and wonderful.” (06:37)
• Theme: Kindness of strangers, resilience, and the miraculous timing of helpers.

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3. The Night Stalker Panic: Panic with Purpose (07:12–09:53)

• Listener Danielle recounts growing up during the Night Stalker panic in 1985 and an unforgettable night when she and her cousins believed the serial killer was in their house.
• The girls arm themselves with a bat and cans of bug spray/hairspray, only to discover the culprit is a fallen kitchen light.
• Sparked running theme: Panic with purpose.
• Georgia is inspired:
  “I love panic with purpose. That’s the theme of this: panic with purpose!” (10:05)
• Karen connects it to her own anxiety-fueled accident response:
  “You can panic. Just panic with purpose.” (10:06)
• Mood: Nostalgic, humorous — recognizing childhood fears and creative self-defense.

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4. Edgar Allan Poe & The Poe Toaster Mystery (13:13–17:18)

• A fitting listener story for Poe’s birthday: The annual appearance of the mysterious “Poe Toaster” in Baltimore.
• “The person would then stand at Poe’s grave, pour a glass of cognac, toast the grave and drink...three red roses were always left on the grave.” (13:30)
• Karen expresses awe:
  “Was it a raven?” (14:46, joking about Poe)
• The tradition inspired a civic celebration, with multiple “faux toasters” impersonating the ritual.
• Fun fact: Baltimore’s football team, the Ravens, are named after Poe’s poem.
• Georgia:
  “That’s amazing. And I think it’s cool how over the course of decades, what possibly started off as a personal tribute...turned into another mystery.” (16:53)

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5. Babysitting Gone Wrong: The Dangers of Snooping (17:51–22:46)

• Listener Ingrid tells a hilarious horror story: While babysitting, she mistakenly uses a child’s dilating eye drops, resulting in two weeks of bizarrely dilated pupils.
• Details include her attempts to hide her huge pupils from the parents and the mortification of realizing her error late.
• Karen relays her own eye-dilation mishap:
  “My friend Jenny Gilleran was like...‘Are you on acid?’ Why are you on acid at school?” (21:47)
• Georgia’s reaction:
  “Holy shit. What happens when you put those in you?...Can you damage your eyes?” (22:46)
• Mood: Embarrassing but relatable adolescent mistake, humor in hindsight.

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6. Lies Parents Tell: Cat Murder and the Bird Flu (26:19–30:25)

• Listener recounts a childhood filled with parental white lies: Her parents blamed her parakeets’ deaths on a fabricated “bird flu,” when in fact, their cat Angie caused the tragedy.
• Years later, she discovers the truth as a young adult, even referencing the fabricated flu in schoolwork.
• Karen and Georgia both relate:
  Karen: “They have no...like, can I bounce this off of you real quick? Like, my sibling thinks this is bananas too.” (29:26)
• Culminates in a hilarious family moment: Her little sister coldly delivers the news of Angie’s real death after years of being shielded from pet mortality.
• Themes: Family dynamics, protective lies, the unique education siblings provide.

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7. Grandma Jessie the Getaway Driver (31:00–33:09)

• April shares a family legend: Her incredibly frugal Scottish grandma Jessie, faced with an unexpected auto repair bill, rammed her car through a locked gate and led the cops on a chase — all to get her grandkids to gymnastics on time.
• “Instead of paying the extra fees, my grandma got into the car and rammed it into the locked gates and took off.” (32:14)
• Georgia, delighted:
  “Grandma’s Legendary Grandma Story is always welcome on this show.” (33:11)
• Underlines the episode’s recurring motif: Resourcefulness and panic with purpose.

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8. Panic with Purpose: Closing Thoughts (33:15–33:43)

• Karen and Georgia ask listeners for more “panic with purpose” stories, emphasizing how anxiety and fear, when harnessed, can be uniquely lifesaving or productive.
• Karen:
  “When I got caught in a wave in Hawaii...I was like, you can’t panic. Just hold your breath and hang out. Then I popped up.” (33:22)
• Georgia:
  “Fucking anxiety, man. It saved your life. It really does.” (33:36)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Karen (on community): “Also, the odds that a nurse would be standing by totally is miraculous and wonderful.” (06:37)
• Georgia (on panic): “Panic with purpose. The new fragrance by Georgia. It smells like fear.” (10:16)
• Listener (on helpers): “I know we’re supposed to look for the helpers, but this night, the helpers found me.” (06:05)
• Karen (laughter, on the Poe Toaster): “Was it a raven?” (14:46)
• Georgia (on family myth-busting): “That 12 year old was just sitting there waiting until the moment she could make that phone call. That’s so funny.” (31:00)
• April (about Grandma Jessie): “Stay sexy and get away with property damage.” (33:09)

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Timestamps For Important Segments

• Intro and Banter: 02:03–02:37
• New Orleans Car Crash: 02:40–06:33
• Night Stalker Panic: 07:12–09:53
• Poe Toaster: 13:13–17:18
• Babysitting Eye Drop Mishap: 17:51–22:46
• Cat Murder/Bird Flu Lie: 26:19–30:25
• Grandma Getaway Driver: 31:00–33:09
• Panic with Purpose Wrap-up: 33:15–33:43

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Final Thoughts

This Minisode is packed with warmth, humor, and the distinct “MFM” blend of empathy and irreverence. From survival stories to urban legends and accidental adventures, Karen and Georgia celebrate the everyday resilience of listeners and the enduring importance of community. Their rally cry this week: “Panic with purpose.”

Stay sexy and don’t get murdered.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My savior. Hello and welcome to my favorite murderer.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's Georgia Hardstark.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's Karen Kilgariat.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is the Minisode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We don't do it like that.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I know. But it's okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's 2026. The world is ending. We can do whatever the fuck we want at this point. Nope.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yep, you're right. This is where we come to get Away from that stuff.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Turning my phone off.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, is that the police?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hell. Hi. Okay, it's the minisode.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We're gonna read you emails that you sent to us.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Should I go first?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sure.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay. This is called New Orleans Car Crash. Oh, hey. I love y' all and could go into pleasantries for five paragraphs, but I don't want to.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I want you to.

[Georgia Hardstark]

When I was 23 years old, I was driving home around 1am after having a movie night at a friend's house. I was crossing a major intersection underneath an overpass when a car came out of nowhere, made an illegal left turn, and smashed into my driver's side door. I did not see it coming. My car spun around twice and hit a cement support underneath the overpass. All the windows, including the windshield, shattered in the collision. All the windows and all the airbags deployed. My driver's side door wouldn't open, and I was forced to climb out of the passenger. The car that hit me had fled the scene. It was late. I was scared, and in a bad part of town. I called the New Orleans police three times and no one ever showed up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, you're in a bad part of town, Right?

[Georgia Hardstark]

No one's coming.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They don't get that service.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right. All of a sudden, six people ran from the gas station across the street. They helped me push my car out of the intersection and told me there was no way the police were coming. But they would sit and wait with me on the curb until someone came to get me. One of them was a nurse getting off shift from the nearby hospital and used her phone light to check me for concussions. Oh, concussions or just concussion? It says concussion.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Multiple concussions all over her head.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Can you get multiple concussions?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Maybe if you, like, hit your head on the steering wheel and then back really hard.

[Georgia Hardstark]

One here, one here, one here, and.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Then here comes the airbag.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I don't know how it works. She informed me that if I had braced for the collision, there was a good chance I would either be unresponsive or worse. Did you know that, like, you get injured worse if you're like, oh, yep.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And that's why drunk people usually come out of stuff like that just fine.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I remember I got in a bad car accident, like, 10 years ago, and I remember going. I saw it coming, and I said to myself, just relax. Like, I knew it was gonna happen. And I just, like, made myself relax.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. Can I just tell you, that's the benefit of your anxiety is you. You probably absolutely ran that possibility in Your head at one point.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Absolutely always.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Jesus Christ.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, wow. Yeah. That's so cool. And that was fine. Like, it was a pretty bad accident.

[Karen Kilgariff]

God damn, Georgia. Fucking A. Jesus.

[Georgia Hardstark]

All right, so everyone remember that, okay? In your anxiety daydreams, go ahead and relax.

[Karen Kilgariff]

During the car crash, the inevitable car crash.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And then they said, I luckily left the accident with only cuts from the glass breaking. One man, the sweetest Nola grandpa you've ever seen, informed me the car which had hit me had pulled two blocks away and was sitting down the street with the lights off. That's so menacing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or like, maybe they were like, I did something bad. I can't go away, but I don't know what to do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Just waiting and watching. I don't know about y', all, but if I was to hit someone that badly, I would be running out of the car to make sure they were still alive. So they were just sitting in their car.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Could have been in shock.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's right. As I walked up to the car to get the driver's info, all six people walked with me as support. When the driver rolled down their window, they were clearly under the influence and struggled to get their things. I have made mistakes in my past, and I know things happen, but empathy for other people has to be above fear of getting in trouble.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My six new friends were very helpful in this situation. When I finally got the driver's information, all six people from the gas station gave me their information, and I was able to use them as witnesses in court. Wow. It goes to show that sometimes the support you need comes from unexpected places. And never underestimate how powerful community is. I know we're supposed to look for the helpers, but this night, the helpers found me.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Good.

[Georgia Hardstark]

P.S. when I went to check on my car the next morning, the license plate of the driver who hit me was embedded in the metal of my driver's side. Do. I don't know who was up there in the sky, but I'm glad she was looking out for me that night. And I'm thankful for the amazing community in what I think is the best city ever. People really are amazing. SSDGM. And please don't hit and run. G she her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What a wonderful request at the end of that email. That is, like, so touching.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also, the odds that a nurse would be standing by totally is miraculous and wonderful.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And that six people are the kind of people who run towards.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The emergency, like six. That's so heartwarming. Yeah. Incredible.

[Karen Kilgariff]

God, that makes me think of my car. Accident at the end of your street that night. And it was like a lady going go ahead, you can go. And then the next thing I knew it was a loud noise and just dust in the air and I didn't understand what was happening. So crazy. I hate car accidents.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Me too.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The subject line of this email is the time three little girls were going to take down the night Stalker. Hey there my make believe besties. During the summer of 1985, my sister and I came up from Oceanside to stay with my family in Whittier. I was 16, my cousin was 14 and my sister was 10. And this was peak night stalker panic. It was terrifying, especially for us kids. Because he was loose in our area. The news kept tossing out ominous patterns like what color houses he targeted. Remember that?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Jesus. No I don't. Year was it?

[Karen Kilgariff]

You were too young. It was like in the early 80s. 85.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, yeah, I was too young. No, but I've since read that and that just sounds fucking horrifying.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It would just be on the nightly news. He's looking for yellow houses.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Did you just always think someone's about to climb through your fucking window?

[Karen Kilgariff]

It was so crazy. It was really. I thought it was later though, but it was. Yeah, it was high school. Like what color houses he targeted or whether he picked victims near freeways. I was already a buddy Murderino, so my fear and fascination were basically holding hands. One night my grandfather dropped the three of us off at my aunt's house to spend the night. We had plants with her the next day, but she was out at a business dinner so there were zero adults home. Honestly, we didn't care. Being unsupervised felt like freedom. Until it didn't. We were in the den watching TV when a helicopter started circling overhead over and over. Immediately we all had the same thought. The night stalker is absolutely in our neighborhood right now. We locked the den door and tried poorly to convince ourselves everything was fine until a huge crash came from the kitchen. I swear I still remember that drop in my stomach. My brain went straight to he's in the house. Yeah, we panicked, but we panicked with purpose. I grabbed a bat, I handed my 10 year old sister a can of bug spray and my cousin a can of hairspray. Amazing because you know, nothing says self defense like Aquanat. That's actually true. That shit can do serious damage.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, get a lighter near there and you're fuckin.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You're done for. We crept through the pitch black living room and burst into the kitchen ready to attack the intruder. But no one was there. The kitchen light fixture had fallen and exploded everywhere. That's it. Just a rogue ceiling light trying to murder us.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We were still shaking, but we survived the night. I can't remember whether we ended up calling my grandparents on the rotary phone or if my aunt checked in on us, but we stayed until she got home like the brave little idiots that we were. Fast forward to after your San Diego show when my sister and I were telling my mom this story. My sister suddenly goes, I still can't believe they left us alone that summer. A literal serial killer was running around Southern California and everyone was like, ah, the girls will be fine.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So true. So fucked up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Stay sexy and check your light fixtures. Danielle. Dan. Yale.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Danielle. Oh, Danielle, Danielle, Danielle, Danielle. I love that. And I love panic with purpose. That's not new purpose. That's the theme of this is panic with purpose.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's kind of what you did in your car accident.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Exactly.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You can panic. Just panic with purpose.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Panic with purpose. Like, it's okay. I love that we have to get shirts made. Like, in sweet honesty writing, Panic with purpose.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Panic with purpose.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The new fragrance by Georgia. It smells like fear.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Nbo.

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This one is about Poe, Edgar Allan Poe. And this episode comes out on his birthday.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, so, so great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, that's great.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is also a literary podcast.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's right. We are so smart.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Quiz us.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hi. Murder Rack and Tours. Oh, that's a first.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is a real smarty pants email.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. And this is called Hometown Poe Baltimore and the mysterious Poe Toaster. Like, what do you think about Poe Toaster? Sounds like a machine in your kitchen, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

My hope is that it's a toaster. That when the toast pops up, his face is on that toast.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, it's not. It's confusing. They mean like toast as in like cheers. Okay, so it confused me at the beginning. Okay. Hi. Murder Racondoors. I was thrilled when the 28 October 2021 episode discussed the death of Edgar Allan Poe. I now live in Canada, but I grew up in Baltimore, so assuming Poe is a victim of foul play, that's a hometown murder for me. You've got a lot in Baltimore, and I thought you might also like to know about a Poe. But not murder related mystery. The motivations and identity of an unknown person or people referred to as the Poe toaster Toast. Poe's birthday is January 19th, and for the whole time I was growing up, it was an annual event that a figure dressed in black, face obscured by a hat or a scarf, would enter Baltimore's Westminster burying Ground on the night of January 19th. The person would then stand at Poe's grave, pour a glass of cognac, toast the grave and drink along with the cognac bottle. Three red roses were always left on the grave. Occasionally there would also be a note, and then the Poe toaster would leave until the next year.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Was it a raven?

[Georgia Hardstark]

No. There are theories about why these specific objects were left, but to this day, no one knows for sure who the Poe toaster was or why this person carried out this annual ritual. I learned about this tradition on an eighth grade that took my English class to the Poe house, where that year's cognac and roses were displayed on a mantelpiece. Note that we also visited Poe's grave and got to see collapsing wooden coffins and skeletons in the catacombs. Best field trip ever. Turns out the Poe toaster tradition might have started as early as the 1930s. Baltimore Press started reporting on this visitor to Poe's grave in the 1950s. Over the years, folks would start to gather near the graveyard on January 19th.

[Karen Kilgariff]

To watch, to gather. To watch the toaster come and be this anonymous toaster.

[Georgia Hardstark]

A Note left in 1998 suggests that the original Poe toaster died and passed along the tradition to someone else. In 2006, someone tried to grab the Poe toaster and determine the individual's identity, but bystanders helped him get away.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Who the fuck is grabbing a ruiner?

[Georgia Hardstark]

A ruiner. The only time anyone ever interfered. Some might say that the tradition died out, but I think of it as evolving. In January 2010, there was no Poe toaster appearance. Over the next few years, several people showed up dressed in black. In 2011, four on the same night, someone was like, I'm gonna do it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll do it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You're just not original.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Or you just want to be a part of things.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Or you should be friends with each other.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Actually, you're all in the same, like, American lit class.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The press dubbed them the faux toasters. Is that the faux Toaster?

[Karen Kilgariff]

The press is covering this?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I love it. Yeah. Then in 2015, the Maryland Historical Society set up a competition to choose a new Poe toaster. Since then, the appearance of the Poe Toaster has become sor of a civic celebration. I love being from a city that takes such pride in a weird, brilliant, gothy Victorian poet and horror story writer. In no small part because he died there. Yes. The football team is called the Ravens because of Po's poem. Do we know that?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I did not know that.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's amazing. And I think it's cool how over the course of decades, what possibly started off as a personal tribute to a beloved author turned into another mystery. If you read this hometown story on the podcast, please send my love to my sister Dani, who introduced me to your work. One of many ways she has made my life better by being in it. Oh, Danny, thanks for the stories you share. Stay sexy and don't be a faux toaster. Aaron. And then she gave us the Wikipedia page for it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's amazing.

[Georgia Hardstark]

How is that? So if you're listening to this on that day, go see the faux toaster tonight.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This would be the faux toaster or the Poe toaster.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Go watch whoever.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, yeah, go watch that guy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or Gal.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or they are she.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Or what about, like, a deathbed confession from your grandma that she's the original Poe toaster?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Honey, I thought of that. I thought it'd be real funny. Why does she have that accent? She's in Baltimore. I could never do that Baltimore accent.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Grandma from fucking Tennessee. Suddenly she moved.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She was transferred at her job.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This happens.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, the subject line of this email is, why were you not asked back to babysit? Remember that?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We asked people to send these emails in. And I won't read the rest of that title. It says, hi, pals. I could send a thousand emails detailing the things you've seen me through as a day one listener. College, My amazing mom dying of pancreas marriage, moving to the middle of nowhere, finishing my last year of my MA in clinical mental health counseling. I digress.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What an arc.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

These are the things that make up our lives. You've been through it all with me, and for that, I'll be eternally grateful. Thank you for being my friends. Uh.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, so nice.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Your recent request for why weren't you asked back to babysit stories really struck a chord.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I don't remember that, but I love it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It was like somebody sent in somebody doing a bad. And we're like, we've all done a bad job. This one comes from my later babysitting years as a well seasoned 17 year old with five full years of child care under my belt. I was definitely 12 watching my 4 month old cousin. A story for another time. But I did learn the hard way that while fiber one bars are a delicious treat to find in the cupboard after the baby's asleep, you should not eat five in a row.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh God, oh God, the stomach cramps. The fucking horror.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's just like a young babysitter's entry into cupboard freedom.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it's like gone wrong. I could eat a can of kidney beans right now if I wanted to. What are these fiber one bars?

[Georgia Hardstark]

They're like when you'd eat up fucking, you know, like you shouldn't eat more than like two dried apricots or you'll be farting for the rest of your life. That's like. I found a whole bag of them. An animal.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They're like candy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

As a 17 year old, I was now a professional. I was babysitting the daughter of a woman who worked in administration at my high out at a holiday party on a weeknight. So things were relatively tame. I helped my charge to bed and like the responsible adult I was, took out my homework to complete before her parents returned.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

When in your life, never, ever did you ever pull out your homework to complete?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Didn't have any. I never had any.

[Karen Kilgariff]

As contact wearers can empathize, the radiator heat in the apartment had my eyes feeling like sandpaper. I pushed through it for a bit, but eventually decided to hunt around for some saline or eye drops. A happy excuse for my actual favorite activity. Snooping. Yep, the second job you have as a babysitter.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

With relief, I saw a massive bottle of eye solution on the counter as I entered the bathroom. I flipped open the cap and doused my eyes in sweet relief. Returning to the table to work, I was puzzled and discouraged to feel that my eyes still felt dry and uncomfortable.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh no.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Several trips back to the bathroom later, redousing my eyes with no change, I eventually gave up, deciding this family must be buying the one ply toilet paper version of contact solution.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What was it? I'm scared.

[Karen Kilgariff]

About 20 minutes later, I started to feel increasingly frustrate as the page of my textbook was becoming cloudy, almost blurry. Rubbing my eyes without relief, I returned to the bathroom to look in the mirror. To my horror, my pupils were the size of dinner plates.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh God. Oh God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Taking up the entirety of my iris so no green was visible. Only huge black, very suspicious eyeballs staring back at me. Panicked, I reached for the sailing bottle, holding it as far from my face as possible. I read quote, dilating eye drops are X only.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Flashing before my eyes were scenes of the child I was babysitting talking about her eye patch worn to correct her lazy eye and the drops she hated that her mom had to put in to correct her vision. I'd effectively triple dosed myself with dilating eye drops and had less than half an hour before this child's parents were due home.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I went in high school to the doctor. Had to get my eyes dilated for an exam. I went back to school and my friend Jenny Gilleran was like. We were at a, like an assembly and I was like, hey, what's up? And she's like, oh my God, are you on acid? Why are you on acid at school? And I was like, what are you talking about?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I just came to school after I dropped a bunch of acid.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, I thought that'd be funny. Shout out Jenny Gilleran. She's alive. Sorry. Shout out Jenny Gilleran the point into the heavens. Then I packed my things and sat quietly at the table contemplating my fate. When they returned, like the responsible 17 year old I was, I said nothing, stared only at the floor, not making eye contact, accepted my cash payment and left as fast as humanly possible. I don't recall exactly if I declined all future babysitting offers from this family or if they never came after my exceptionally sketchy goodbye that evening, but that was my last trip to that house. My eyes were dilated for two weeks. Shut up. Before returning to normal size. See photo attached for their status about eight days afterwards. Stay sexy and just wear glasses. Ingrid. Vermont.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy shit. What happens when you put those in you? I know that you dilate, but like, can you damage your eyes?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, because all the light just goes in, right? So you have to like wear sunglasses and like be super careful, right? Oh my God. I had those weird. That day at school, I had those weird paper. They look like old people sunglasses. Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Fucked up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Like she dilated her eyes for two weeks.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Two weeks is like I would have. I wonder if her parents were like, are you on acid to the hospital or something?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, she got Gillerin.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The holidays are all about connection. Good food, good friends and making memories.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And now you can actually remember those memories thanks to RK's zero proof spirits.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They invented the war molecule, giving you the burn of whiskey or tequila without a drop of alcohol. That's zero calories, zero sugar, zero regrets. This is so cool. I am definitely trying to drink less this holiday season, so having something that tastes really good that makes me feel like I'm treating myself without having a hangover the next morning is key. Perfect for toasting, hosting and enjoying the moment fully. And when you want to spread holiday cheer, share it or gift it. RK helps you celebrate with joy without compromise.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Shop [e-mail] and make every moment unforgettable.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's a R k a y beverages.com Goodbye Goodbye Hey. A sleek professional website makes you look very put together even when you're wearing sweatpants and eating cereal out of a mug.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And that's where Squarespace comes in.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer your services and get paid all in one place.

[Karen Kilgariff]

From consultations to experiences. Showcase your services with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Business and managing those payments is a breeze. In just a few clicks you'll be able to accept payments with options like Klarna, Apple Payments, afterpay and more.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You'll get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools and.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Get discovered faster with Squarespace's built in SEO tools with meta descriptions and auto generated site maps, you'll rank higher in search results globally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go to squarespace.com murder for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use Offer Code murder to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's squarespace.com murder code murder goodbye Goodbye. It's a new year and a new you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So to celebrate, why not get a new outfit from Quint's?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Quince has all the staples covered from soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters to 100% silk tops and skirts. Their wardrobe essentials are crafted to last season after season.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Check out their Italian wool coats. They look designer, feel luxurious and are made with premium materials.

[Georgia Hardstark]

By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middlemen, Quince gives you luxury without the market.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And like everything from Quint, each piece is made with premium materials in ethical trusted factories, then priced far below what.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Other luxury brands charge, they really are premium. I got a cashmere throw blanket from Quint. It is so soft, so cozy I have to like beg my cats to let me use it because they are so obsessed with it and so am I.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The cashmere sweaters. They're now piling up in my room. I have so many. I love them so much.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Refresh your wardrobe with quintessential quints. Don't wait.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go to quince.com mfm to get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com mfm to get free Shipping and 365 day returns.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Quince.com mfm Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My last one is Cat Murder. I love to blab. So this is me trying really hard to be focused and concise. You asked for stories of lies your parents told you. Well, for context, I was an only child until I was 10 so this explains the lack of life skills and thinking things through in the story. I had a childhood cat named Angie. We found Angie in the streets and I picked her because she meowed a lot more than the other cats she was with. Angie was a real trooper. As my New Year's resolution every year growing up was to be nicer to Angie. She was an angel cat and would let me dress her in doll clothes and push her around in a stroller.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Poor Angie.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Whiskers. She was. I covered her in barrettes as a child.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Whiskers.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, she was so patient. Growing up we also had two green parakeets named Jacob and Sarah. Well yes, I did get my self esteem from academic achievement and had no creativity growing up in my child brain I was convinced that Jacob and Sarah were going to lay eggs soon and made them a nest in their cage and would check religiously if they had laid eggs yet. Suddenly Jacob died a few days later. Sarah was laying lifeless on the bottom of the cage. I was a wreck. How did my beloved expectant bird parents just mysteriously die with no heads up? The only solution to my heartbreak was to beg my parents for new birds. Unfortunately for me, my parents informed me that there was a bird flu going around that made the birds sick so if I got more birds they would also die. How did this bird flu work you ask? It caused the birds to get an infection in their wings and the next thing you know they are dead at the bottom of the cage. Sound familiar? Yeah, fair enough. I would just have to wait out the bird flu. I thought for the next few years I would ask my parents for updates of the prevalence of the bird flu which they always stated was still happening. Yeah fucking loud those parakeets man. I feel them. I began to reference the bird flu socially Telling my friends all about it and feeling super smart that nobody else knew about the infectious bird wing mystery disease. In high school, I even wrote about the bird flu in one of my exams that was submitted to the college board.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow. Wow. You couldn't let that repercussions. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

But they let. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They let her believe it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Then comes COVID lockdown, when families are forced to actually talk. Where my parents were shocked to find out that at the age of 21, I still believed the bird flu was the origin of Jacob and Sarah's death. Turns out the reality is that my sweet, beloved, overweight, brown tabby cat, Angie, murdered the birds by jumping on their cage, knocking it off the cage hook, and trying to capture them until they both had heart attacks and died.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, my God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, Mo would be so proud of himself. Like, I could see him doing that. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's such a cat thing. And then it's done in paragraph. I am still processing this to truly explain how we just do not talk about things in my family. My first year of medical school, I was living in another school.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm sorry. This is a fucking doctor we're talking about. Only children are fucked up.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They have no. Like, can I bounce this off of you real quick? Like, my sibling thinks this is bananas too.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. Or like my sibling's here to ruin everything intentionally for me, which actually educates me about the world.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Like, if this person had gotten made fun of for believing that by a sibling, they would have gone onto it quicker than 21.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My first year of medical school, I was living in another state and had dreams nightly that Angie was dead. She was 17 at the time, so we knew her time was coming to an end. But she was visiting me in my sleep nightly. I would ask my mom if Angie was okay because I was so thrown off from my dreams. And she would always reply that Angie was alive and well, catching lizards and begging for treats. Just cat stuff. Then one hour after my first medical school exam, my little sister, then 12 years old and mean. So she was an only child till she was 10.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Then 12 years old and mean called and said only the following. Angie died three weeks ago, and we didn't want to make you fail your test if we told you. Bye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Bye, bye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes, I should get a therapist. Pics of Angie attached. Stay sexy and don't assume your child has common sense. S. So she. She's beautiful. Cat in a dress.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's a hilarious picture of a cat in a dress. That's really funny. Oh this one?

[Georgia Hardstark]

That one?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She looks very stupid.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She's like get me out of here.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But then s really dreamed this cat died. Like was really connected and it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I know. And they fucking sisters like even when you have nothing in common, like nothing to do with them, they're gonna be a jerk to you anyway.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also, that 12 year old was just sitting there waiting until the moment that she could make that phone call. That's so funny. Okay, the subject line of this email is the getaway driver. It just starts now. Let's get into it. In the mid-1970s, my grandma was babysitting my brother and sister. I wouldn't be born for another eight or so years. She also had to get some work done in her car. She and the mechanic agreed on a price and my grandma went to the bank to withdraw the necessary cash. When my grandma, brother and sister went back for the car, the mechanic wanted more money than they had originally agreed. While pretty much everyone knows that this is par for the course with mechanics, they don't know Grandma Jessie. My grandma wasn't just regular Scottish amounts of frugal. She was quote raised on a farm, formative years in the Great Depression and World War II and had to earn her own money for her own stuff because I guess my grandpa didn't think that raising five kids was job enough level frugal Jesus. She handed the keys to my siblings and told them to go wait in the car. My brother did what he always did when he got into the car at that age, immediately laid down on the back seat and went to sleep. When he woke up there were sirens. They were being chased by the police. So who was the getaway driver? My grandma. Instead of paying the extra fees, my grandma got into the car and rammed it into the locked gates and took off. No way was a shady mechanic going to make her granddaughter late to gymnastics. My grandma also did not pull over for cops, but drove the 4.5 kilometers about 2.75 miles to gymnastics before dealing with the fuzz because she sent my brother and sister inside. This story never really had a proper resolution so I asked my mom to fill in the end. My grandma was never charged so she probably flirt intimidated the cops. My grandpa settled up with the body shop. Yeah thank you for the forum to share this Jesse story. She died October 3, 2020 and Covid prevented us from having the kind of funeral where this story would have brought the house down. Proud to do it now. Grandma Jessie is a badass. Stay sexy and get away with property damage.

[Georgia Hardstark]

April. Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Grandma's Legendary Grandma Story is always welcome on this show.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Panic with Purpose.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes. What's your Panic with Purpose story? Yeah, do you have one of those? Anyone? Everyone?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Like for example, when I got caught in a wave in Hawaii and I knew I wasn't coming out of that water, so I was like, I was in a ball tumbling in a wave and I was like, you can't panic. Just hold your breath and hang out. Then I popped up.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Fucking anxiety, man. It saved your life. It really does send us your Panic with Purpose stories at My favorite murdermail.

[Karen Kilgariff]

George is really pushing this panic.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I was excited about it. Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an exactly right production.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murdermail.com.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Follow the show on Instagram at My favorite Murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Or Watch us on YouTube. Search for my favorite murder and then like and subscribe. Goodbye.

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[Julian Edelman]

This is Julian Edelman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jewels. Sunday mornings I've got my game day ritual Tool coffee, Lucky socks and now new Morning Uncrustable sandwiches.

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Energy up an apple. Your classic do it all tight end.

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Your new Sunday kickoff ritual starts here with new morning. Uncrustable sandwiches packed with 12 grams of protein.

[Janice Torres]

Janice Torres here, and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We host the podcast Mind the Business, Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We're back for season four to talk.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

To some incredible small business owners.

[Janice Torres]

The big thing about working at tech is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie. That's how fast the industry is changing. So what I'm really excited about is to be part of that change. So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.