MFM Minisode 484

Summary

My Favorite Murder Minisode 484 — April 20, 2026

Episode Overview

In this special themed minisode, hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark read listener-submitted “hometown murders”—but with a twist: every story ties into marijuana in honor of the episode’s 4/20 release. The stories range from brushes with infamous killers, to neighborly betrayals, near disasters, generational pot mishaps, and more. The episode is packed with the hosts’ signature blend of humor, empathy, and colorful tangents as they riff on both their own high jinks and those of the listeners.

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Key Discussion Points & Listener Stories

Introduction and 4/20 Theme (02:13)

• Karen and Georgia open with jokes about never having done a themed minisode, excitedly announce this episode is devoted to listeners' wildest marijuana-adjacent hometown stories.
• Georgia: “I don't even smoke it, but I fucking love that. This is a thing.” (02:40)
• Karen: "You don't have to smoke it to enjoy other people smoking it. It's kind of the best part of pot, right?" (02:43)
• Fun banter about pot stories always involving too many edibles, and Georgia’s past experience at a Tom Petty concert (“No, that was mushrooms, I think.”)

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Story 1: A Close Call with Ted Bundy (03:14)

• Listener Brynlee shares a story about her grandfather, a truck driver who, in 1977, visited a friend near Aspen, Colorado. That night, Ted Bundy escaped from the courthouse, prompting police to search every car in town.
• Brynlee’s grandfather, transporting a truck full of illegal marijuana, passed through the checkpoint undetected because police were focused on catching Bundy—narrowly avoiding arrest and changing his family's destiny.
• Brynlee: “If my grandpa would have been incarcerated… my dad or I would have never been born.” (04:23)
• Karen and Georgia discuss discovering family secrets as adults and the butterfly effect of chance.

Notable Quote
Karen: “That guy must have, like, pulled over after he got through that stopping point… or gone to the first bar and been like, down to your wedding.” (05:36)

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Story 2: The Good Neighbor Gone Bad (05:56)

• Listener Kim recounts her experience as a young newlywed in St. Louis whose friendly neighbor Joe helped with routine tasks.
• One afternoon, after returning to work slightly stoned from her lunch break, Kim receives a call from police. They caught neighbor Joe leaving her house with a pair of her underwear and a walkie-talkie, after being alerted by another neighbor who heard her dog barking.
• Kim panics about the weed and bong on her living room table, but the police reassure her: “Ma’am, I looked in the window and saw the weed. You’re not the one in trouble today.” (08:05)
• The incident escalates with later stalking and confrontation, ultimately prompting Kim and her husband to move.
• Georgia: “To have a neighbor like that that you just like… are constantly in fear of.” (09:03)

Notable Moment
Karen imagines hiring intimidating biker types as post-arrest protection for stalking victims: “Wouldn't it be cool if there was a service where very large and intimidating looking biker type men would be there when he bonded out, standing on his lawn?” (09:07)

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Story 3: The PVC Pipe Bong and Bomb Squad (12:17)

• Listener Katie writes about her high school boyfriend, a classic stoner cliché, who built a bong from PVC pipe.
• After smoking weed on their roof, they toss the makeshift bong into the street. Later, the area is cordoned off as the bomb squad is called to examine what a neighbor believes is a “pipe bomb.”
• Karen: “It was quickly determined to not be an explosive pipe bomb, but a pipe bong.” (13:57)
• The story closes as a “real stoner miracle”—the teens weren’t caught.

Notable Quote Georgia: “Remember, we didn’t have a pipe, so you take a fucking coke can and poke holes in it and then light it on fucking fire. And we’d inhale…” (14:19)

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Story 4: The “Third Man Syndrome” House Fire (15:04)

• Listener Frankie recalls nearly burning down her house after getting home buzzed and high, smoking a “shitty weed” joint at the window, but forgetting to blow out a candle.
• She’s jolted awake by an inexplicable “thump”; a chair is on fire next to her bed.
• Frankie saves her room with glasses of water in a panic, with roommates none the wiser. She credits a guardian angel (“third man”) for waking her.
• Frankie: “How the actual fuck did I wake up and who punched me? I figured it was one of my grandparents’ angels.” (16:46)

Notable Host Moment
Karen jokes about her dad’s hatred of candles: “He really, really doesn’t like candles. Cause it’s you. Of course you light candles when you’re high or drunk.” (17:01)

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Story 5: Synthetic Weed and a Sinkhole (20:03)

• Listener Emily recounts a traumatic experience in Pennsylvania—accepting weed from a friend, later realizing it was synthetic “spice/K2,” leading to three days of confusion (“fishbowl vision”).
• While still high at work, a massive sinkhole opens in the mall parking lot, swallowing cars and a woman (all rescued safely).
• Emily: “This is the time I witnessed a sinkhole open in a parking lot while I was stoned out of my mind.” (22:59)
• Karen: “If there’s a lesson to take from this, it’s to not fuck with mother Earth and legalize recreational cannabis.”
• Georgia: “It doesn’t sound like it! The lesson is: don’t smoke synthetic cannabis.” (23:18–23:21)

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Story 6: Dad’s Secret High (23:40)

• Listener Emily (a second Emily!) shares how, during her trip abroad, her dad house-sits, checks her mailbox, feeds her garage kitty—then leaves an out-of-character, lengthy text rundown of his activities.
• Emily later discovers two empty THC-infused strawberry lemonades in the recycling—her dad unknowingly partook, got high, and experienced a rare bout of long-windedness.
• The hosts analyze his dad-like productivity and theorize about his high experience.
• Karen: “All those pieces... he sat and watched a Netflix movie and ate lunch leftovers, yeah, sir.” (26:50)
• Emily wonders if she should ask about it directly or tease out details with sly questions.

Notable Host Exchange
Georgia: “Do I ask him directly if he knew what he drank, or do I ask a series of leading questions to try to discern how high he actually was? The latter part sounds more fun.” (26:13)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Stay sexy and visit an old friend when you have some time.” — Listener Brynlee (05:13)
• “I was like, oh, it’s okay. We don’t need to go inside. I’m sure all he took was my underwear.” — Kim, on the police wanting to search her house (07:51)
• “Don’t call the bomb squad on the bong squad.” — Katie from Bloomington (13:57)
• “At least we’re recycling.” — Georgia (15:02), after reminiscing about pot-smoking improvisation with coke cans
• “Oh my god, it’s all coming — it’s all making sense now.” — Georgia, realizing she once smoked synthetic weed (23:31)
• “You don’t have to take your clothes off to have a good time. That’s right. So don’t feel pressured about this episode that you’re supposed to like drugs. You’re not supposed to like drugs.” — Karen (27:36)

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Closing Remarks and Call for Stories (27:26)

• The hosts laugh about how fast the episode went by and invite listeners to submit more “getting high” stories even after 4/20.
• Karen: “Maybe we'll do another high one just for the fun of it. It doesn't have to be 4:20 to celebrate all your fucked up stories about getting high.” (27:28)
• Usual sign-off: “Stay sexy and don’t get murdered!” (27:52)

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Episode in a Nutshell

A hilarious and (sometimes harrowing) celebration of all things weed-related, this minisode’s stories are equal parts cautionary and heartwarming. Karen and Georgia’s chemistry and candor shine as they riff on everything from vintage stoner culture to neighborly nightmares to the generational evolution of getting high.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Theme Announcement – 02:13
• Ted Bundy and Averted Fate – 03:14 – 05:26
• The Troubled Neighbor Joe – 05:56 – 09:07
• PVC Bong Bomb Squad – 12:17 – 14:19
• Candle Fire Wake-up (Third Man story) – 15:04 – 17:34
• Sinkhole and Synthetic Weed Disaster – 20:03 – 23:26
• Dad’s Hidden High – 23:40 – 27:26
• Episode Close and Story Solicitation – 27:26 – 27:52

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Final Thoughts

Whether you’re a true crime fan or just love a great story, this themed episode of My Favorite Murder is packed with laughs, genuine moments, and a reminder that sometimes the weirdest things happen when you least expect them — and sometimes, when you’re just a little bit high.

Transcript

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[C]

Goodbye.

[B]

Sometimes you want the night out. Cocktails without the why did I do that?

[C]

Morning.

[A]

That's where our k0 proof comes in.

[B]

For me it's really about getting the

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glass in your hand. But then also having something tasty and fun to drink is so such a huge bonus. It makes it so much more exciting than just having soda water. So if you want the flavor and the moment without the alcohol, try the Zero Proof Revolution at rk0proof.com that's spelled

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a R K a y0proof.com Stay safe.

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Stay hydrated. Goodbye.

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Goodbye. Sometimes you need a trip that actually feels like an escape, not just a change of scenery.

[B]

That's exactly what Baja Mar and Nassau

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delivers between the casino and the water park. Like I could have stayed there for months.

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We were so lucky to get to visit this place. And it truly I just kept saying like this is such a good idea where you immediately want to be in a tropical location but then you also want to go out to dinner that night. That is the ultimate vacation for me of you're getting a little treat of everything.

[C]

It's paradise. Plan your own [e-mail] Goodbye.

[A]

Goodbye. My favorite earth. Hello. Welcome to my favorite murder, the Miniso.

[C]

That's right. We read you your stories, your emails.

[A]

This is the first time we've ever done this. So just stay patient with us. Just stay in here with us.

[C]

It's only been what, 10 years?

[A]

Just 10 in a row.

[C]

Oh, and this is themed. I think this is the first time we've done this. This is 4:20 themed. Cause it's coming out on 4:20.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

I love that we wanna celebr

[A]

crime stories, the personal stories, the grandma stories that also involve marijuana.

[C]

Yeah, I don't even smoke it, but I fucking love that. This is a thing.

[A]

So listen, you don't have to smoke it to enjoy other people smoking it. It's kind of the best part of pot, right?

[C]

Other people's horrible stories about pot. I have one that involves California adventure.

[A]

Is it because you ate a cookie and then decided you needed another cookie? Cause that's every pot story I've ever heard in my life.

[C]

Something like that. And I freaked the fuck out. You go first.

[A]

Not unlike the time you did it at the Tom Petty concert.

[C]

Oh, no, that was mushrooms, I think.

[A]

Oh, was it?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, we'll do a different. We'll do it on Mushroom Day.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, Mushroom Day.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. You want me to go first? The subject line perfectly kicking this off of this email is an infamous killer, a grandpa, and illegal weed. Ooh. Hello, Karen, Georgia Pets, and Exactly right crew. I first listened to your podcast in 2020 and have only become a bigger fan with every listen. I have a story I think is worthy of writing in. So here we go. In 1977, my grandpa was working as a truck driver. And one day he had some time to kill, so he decided to spend the rest of the day and night with old friend that lived near Aspen, Colorado. He headed that way into a night of catching up, drinking, smoking, and having absolutely no clue how different that day could have ended up for him. The day he just so happened to have extra time was the day Ted Bundy jumped out of the courthouse window in Aspen.

[C]

What?

[A]

Remember that part of that insane journey? The Aspen police stopped and searched every vehicle going in and out of town. And considering that my grandpa was driving a truck full of illegal weed, you can understand how much of a lucky coincidence this was.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

My dad was born just two years later. And considering my grandpa would have been incarcerated, arrested, or dumped by my nana, my dad or I would have never been born.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I never even knew my grandpa until the 2010s when he sent my dad a letter in the mail explaining that he was his father.

[C]

Wait, so he got caught with the illegal weed because they were searching for.

[A]

He didn't get caught because they were looking for Ted Bundy.

[C]

Oh, but they.

[A]

So. But there was like. They set up the checkpoint, but they weren't looking for. They weren't there to search people's stuff. They were looking for Ted Bundy. Okay, so they're like, go ahead. Go ahead, sir. You're not a serial killer. Oh, my God, my weed and I thank you. My family and myself had the great pleasure of getting to hear all his crazy stories. Like this one for a couple of years before he died. I think about him often and I'm so grateful I got to know him, even just for a little while. Thank you for your podcast and all that. You do stay sexy and visit an old friend when you have some time. Brynlee.

[C]

Wow. What a trip to just have a parent and not know them.

[A]

Right? And then they come into your life when you're an adult, right? So you have a whole new weird relationship and the issues that come with it.

[C]

So many things to process.

[A]

But more than that, that guy must have, like, pulled over after he got through that stopping point or whatever. Or gone to the first bar and been like, down to your wedding.

[C]

I mean, a truck filled with weed in 70s especially. That's prison for a long fucking time.

[A]

Straight to prison.

[C]

Straight to prison. Okay.

[A]

Straight to jail.

[C]

Fred Armisen. That was good. Someone in my house that shouldn't be. Hello, darlings. It's 2003. I'm 23 years old, newly married, and my husband and I are renting a house in a quaint St. Louis neighborhood. We'd become friends with our neighbor across the street named Joe and his roommate Darrell. Joe, Darrell. Older guys did odd jobs, so they were home a lot, but were overall friendly and helpful. Like when my crappy ass car needed a jump in the morning, Joe would be walking over to help me within minutes of me realizing my car was dead multiple times. I thought naively, what a great neighbor. I worked my first office job then, and it was 10 minutes from home, so every day I'd come home to eat lunch and feed our dog and maybe smoke some weed. Says this comes into play one day I head back to work after said lunch break, and about 10 minutes later, I get a call on my desk phone. We didn't have cell phones then, asking if my name was XYZ and if I lived at xyz. I'm like, yeah, it was the local police. They said someone had broken into my home. I was a little stoned, so I was like, oh. I was home just 10 minutes ago for a lunch break. It was just me. And they said, ma', am, you need to come home. We caught a man coming out of your house.

[A]

Ooh.

[C]

And then shocked emoji. I raced home, and you guessed it, my neighbor Joe is handcuffed and sitting on the side of my driveway. Turns out after I left to go back to work, our neighbor next door heard our dog barking his ass off and saw Joe sneak into our backyard and into our back door. So she called the Cops. Because she knew it was weird. Cops arrive, catch him coming out the back door and search him. And ladies, all he had on him was a dirty pair of my underwear and a walkie talkie. Oh, yes, a walkie talkie. I was in shock. So then the cops say, let's go inside to see if anything else is missing. I panicked. The bong I had smoked from during lunch break and the bag of weed was on our living room table.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

I was like, oh, it's okay. We don't need to go inside. I'm sure all he took was my underwear. And the male cop leans over to me and says, ma', am, I looked in the window and saw the weed. You're not the one in trouble today.

[A]

Where has this cop been in everyone's life?

[C]

Seriously. Yeah. So here I was, walking into my house, followed by cops walking past my bong and weed in a tray, acting like none of us see it while we look around and make sure nothing else was missing. Joe got arrested, but thanks to LAX laws, he bonded out about four hours later. That's a whole other story involving finding Joe had been stalking me, my husband, his bff, and a guitar smashing into Joe's forehead. And more cops and us moving shortly after. I think that's the story.

[A]

Oh, I get it.

[C]

So when you say stay safe and don't get murdered, trust me, I take that shit seriously. Okay, love you. Bye, Kim.

[A]

Bye, Kim.

[C]

Bye, Kim.

[A]

Kim, I'm sorry that happened to you, but it stay sexy.

[C]

Don't get me.

[A]

I mean, just kidding.

[C]

We hope you stay safe, but do

[A]

we need to tell you Given. Yeah, we assume that you are already doing that. That's awful and crazy and so gross

[C]

to have a neighbor like that that you just like are constantly in fear of.

[A]

Now, you've probably heard of this for other things, but wouldn't it be cool if there was a service where very large and intimidating looking biker type men would be there when he bonded out standing on his lawn. So that the message from the neighborhood is, how about you fuck off and get out of here?

[C]

Right, we have protection now.

[A]

Yeah, that should be a thing.

[C]

Should be? I think you just invented it.

[A]

I think poor man's copyright.

[C]

We call it Hell's Angels. No, don't.

[A]

But it's George's face with going like this.

[C]

Is that a name? Can we trademark that? Hell's Angels.

[A]

No one's ever done Hell's Angels before. Right? Knock, knock, knock.

[C]

I know, right?

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It's easy to make your drive amazing with reclining seats. That melt the tension away. Thoughtful tech and charging ports that keep

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

the 2.5T hybrid engine with up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on select trims. It's built for long hauls, quick errands and everything in between no matter where you're headed.

[A]

The available 14 speaker Bose sound system makes for an immersive ride and the

[B]

Palisade Hybrid comes with an available class exclusive dash camera feature and available class exclusive blind spot view monitor for extra peace of mind.

[A]

Seating configurations for seven to eight passengers

[B]

and with available H track all wheel drive, you're ready to go anywhere in style.

[A]

Need more? You've got standard 100 watt USB C ports to keep every device powered and

[B]

a standard passenger talk intercom so you can threaten to turn this SUV around

[C]

if your kids don't knock it off.

[B]

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[A]

I'm not going to read you the subject line of this one, but similar beloved mfm I briefly dated this guy in high school who was the walking cliche of an early aughts teenage stoner image. Faded metal band, T shirt, baggy jeans with wallet, chains without a wallet and Sideshow Bob hair.

[C]

I know.

[A]

One day he and a buddy skipped school to smoke weed on his roof. One of them had built a bong out of white PVC pipe.

[B]

Oh, I did.

[C]

I've done that.

[A]

Like a big long, huge one.

[C]

We'd go to the top of my bunk bed to smoke from it.

[A]

Off my bunk bed so you could

[C]

get high enough into Jesus, which is like, oh, microplastics. I'm worried about fucking Tupperware now. But I used to smoke fucking PVC and tinfoil.

[A]

The good news is that you inhaling that PVC actually coated all of your organs. No other microplastics could get in.

[C]

That's great. It's almost like I laminated my organs.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Great.

[A]

Okay, little. It's your own VIP pass to yourself. Okay. So I'm sure it was absolutely foul to smoke out of.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Approved or confirmed? Because one of them threw it off the roof and never thought about it again. That afternoon their whole neighborhood was blocked off. Cop cars everywhere, State police, unmarked vans, crime scene tape. You know the drill. That's when the bomb squad showed up. These boys were so quick to discard their blackened plastic monstrosity of a bong that they didn't notice it roll into the middle of their suburban street. A neighbor must have walked by and thought it looked like a pipe bomb. So they did their civic duty and reported it to the police. It was quickly determin to not be an explosive pipe bomb, but a pipe bong.

[C]

Love it.

[A]

That's tough. No one knew it was them. And even if it was collected for evidence, they were minors and surprisingly didn't have criminal records. No one was the wiser. A real stoner miracle, I guess. Stay sexy and don't call the bomb squad on the bong squad. Thank you for all you do so much. Love, Katie from Bloomington, one of my favorite cities.

[C]

Remember, we didn't have a pipe. So you take a fucking coke can and poke holes in it and then light it on fucking fire. And we'd inhale.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What were we inhaling?

[A]

Tiny pieces of aluminum. Yeah, love.

[C]

Now I won't even, like, I won't even take the receipt at a fucking convenience Store. Because it's toxic. Do you know it's toxic? You're not supposed to touch them. But it's like we used to fucking. I used to smoke meth out of fucking tinfoil, you know.

[A]

Listen, we have to build our lives from something. And if it's gonna be. If it's gonna be a diet Pepsi can with a thumb, you know, dent in it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then that's what we. We do what we must.

[C]

At least we're not. Okay.

[A]

At least we're recycling.

[C]

Yeah. Da da da da. I'm not gonna read to the subject line. Hayas in episode 444, Georgia talks about the third man. And I realized I had a third man run in that I am forever grateful for. Remember third man Sy? Mm. I was in my late twenties, living away from my parents for the first time and had just had a lovely night out dancing with my friends. Came home nicely buzzed and feeling pretty delightful with myself. And I remembered I had some shitty weed. So I lit some candles, texted my friend what I was doing, and leaned out the window to smoke a badly rolled joint. My friend texted back as I was about to drop off, don't forget to blow out the candles. And I did blow them out. Except for one. Like I said, I was a little drunk. I was a little stoned. I was pretty much passed out all cozy in my bed when I felt a nudge on my shoulder I ignored. Then I got a thump on my back and that rolled me over. I woke up to see the chair beside my bed on fire. Yes. And then it's the emoji, the smiley emoji, but it's melting into the.

[A]

Literally melting.

[C]

Yeah. My first reaction was to try to blow it out. Cause drunk. But quickly saw my two glasses of water on the floor I had brought up with. So smart.

[A]

Two glasses hydrate. So drunk.

[C]

I know. And after a few minutes of panicked but discreet running from my room to the bathroom to refill the glasses, the fire was out. My roommates were none the wiser.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

Quietly running so they don't wake them up. What's that smell? I'm like. My heart was thumping, my brain reeling from how the actual fuck did I wake up and who punched me. I figured it was one of my grandparents angels. And eventually went to sleep. Love you ladies. Stay sexy and blow out all of the candles or pass on the shitty weed. Frankie. She her.

[A]

Frankie, I gotta tell you. Home Jim would be very upset if he heard this. Hometown. This is the thing that he would harangue me about on the phone like when I was college age.

[C]

The candles.

[A]

He really, really doesn't like candles. Cause it's you. Of course you light candles when you're high or drunk.

[C]

I know Vince forgot to blow one out the other night when he left so that I had lit. Cause he never lights them right. So he was like, I didn't realize. But I was like, you should always look for candles, right?

[A]

Maybe you guys need a little like a candle whiteboard and you have to go down and be like check lit it in the conservatory. Please put it out. I love that thing where like you come in hours later and it's all liquid and you're just like, don't explode.

[C]

I am so lucky.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

It's easy to make your drive amazing with reclining seats that melt the tension away, thoughtful tech and charging ports that keep every device powered.

[B]

Make every day epic with the Hyundai Palisade Hybrid.

[A]

It features class leading interior space and available front and second row relaxation seats that let you really recline and unwind.

[B]

The 2.5T hybrid engine with up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on select trims. It's built for long hauls, quick errands and everything in between no matter where you're headed.

[A]

The available 14 speaker Bose sound system makes for an immersive ride and the

[B]

Palisade Hybrid comes with an available class exclusive dash camera feature and available class exclusive blind spot view monitor for extra peace of mind.

[A]

Seating configurations for seven to eight passengers

[B]

and with available H track all wheel drive, you're ready to go anywhere in style.

[A]

Need more? You've got standard 100 watt USB C ports to keep every device powered and

[B]

a standard passenger talk intercom so you can threaten to turn this SUV around

[C]

if you kids don't knock it off.

[B]

Without taking your eyes off the road,

[A]

the all new Hyundai Palisade Hybrid is more than just another suv. It's still the Palisade, but with so much more.

[B]

Learn more about the Hyundai [e-mail] Call

[A]

562-314-4603 for complete details. Goodbye Georgia. You know that moment in the afternoon when your brain stops working and then you start looking for a little treat?

[C]

Yeah, I guess it's less of a moment for me and more of an all day thing, honestly.

[A]

Okay, well if you're looking for a little treat that also fuels you, there's Kachava.

[C]

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[A]

a full plant based meal that supports your whole body.

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And actually cachava provides clean nutrition to

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[A]

Goodbye. Okay, this is a weed story made for me. I won't read you the subject line. It says, evening, ladies et al. I love the podcast and your consistent advocacy for mental health awareness. My name is Emily. You can use it now. Now that the pleasantries are over, buckle up. It's 2018. I was 19 years old and working at an outlet mall. And then in parentheses it says Tanger outlets. Because the name of your personal outlet mall really matters.

[C]

It does matter.

[A]

In my home state of Pennsylvania. I am giving you this piece of information because you can easily look this fact up. Yeah, this shift isn't a normal shift because about two nights before, I was hanging out smoking weed with a now ex friend. You must specify. I took some home and I smoked more of it. Turns out they gave me bad spice.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

Synthetic pot. K2 they call it.

[C]

Oh, my God. Okay. That's why it's. Next friend.

[A]

Yeah. Believe me, when I say bad, I mean bad. I was messed up for about three days. And then in parentheses it says time was a blur and says fishbowl vision shakes everything. So this is a real.

[C]

Has this happened to me then? Because I've gotten so fucked up on weed that it didn't make any sense.

[A]

Yes. That somebody may have accidentally. Or whatever. You got synthetic weed or craton. There's a weird name for it right. Where you're like way beyond fucked up.

[C]

I feel like I've had. Okay, yeah, that explains a lot.

[A]

Do you need to call.

[C]

This is a fever dream.

[A]

It explains how we got here right now. Okay. It Says, anyways, being a resilient teenager, I still went to work for some reason later in the shift, I was handing out price charts for a sale and I look down to pick something up, and that's when I feel the rumble and hear the screaming. I look up and on day two of a three day high, mind you, the ground was gone.

[C]

What?

[A]

I look at one of the other potheads that worked in the store and I asked, did you see that too? He slowly nodded yes. Then the moment was still until a riptide of action began. Six cars went down and a woman went with them. So basically, sinkhole. A sinkhole while you're high. High on a drug that's kept you high for days so you don't know what's real.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

She was apparently loading bags into her trunk and the ground just gave out.

[C]

Oh, honey.

[A]

People outside were able to get her out safely. Yay. Everybody in the store just walked out. And I moved my car as it was only about 10 yards the edge of the sinkhole. No. Yep. Operate that vehicle. Yeah. That was sarcasm. And I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no. We didn't get to leave work early. As my manager put it, the store is still standing. What?

[C]

Come on.

[A]

As my manager slash franchise owner.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

This is the time I witnessed a sinkhole open in a parking lot while I was stoned out of my mind. Thank you for all your time. And if there's a lesson to take from this, it's to not fuck with mother Earth and legalize recreational cannabis. I disagree.

[C]

It doesn't sound like it.

[A]

Yours truly, Emily.

[C]

I mean, it's don't smoke synthetic cannabis is the lesson.

[A]

Yeah, it's illegalized synthetic cannabis.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And illegalized fucked up friends that would drug you.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Fuck you.

[C]

Yeah, like, okay, it's all coming. It's all making sense now. Yeah, I'm doing one of those.

[A]

Okay, you're remembering exactly who you smoked that pot with.

[C]

Yes, triangulating. Okay, this one is about. It's about getting your dad high. You'd figure that out anyway, so I'm just gonna read you even though it's a spoiler. Hi, ladies. First time writer and newbie listener as of this year. I recently went to Europe for a work trip that extended into vacation, so I was away for almost three weeks. Since my dad lives 15 minutes away, I asked him to stop by occasionally to check my mail. Check on Kevin. Not my kitty, but an orange kitty who lives in the garage and just generally makes sure my house wasn't going to fall down while I was gone, sinkhole style. We'll see. About two weeks into my trip, I got the longest text message from my dad. I'm pretty sure he has ever typed a little background here. Like many boomer parents, my dad is a man of few words and is known to very abruptly end phone conversations with some sort of variation of well, I'm done talking.

[A]

I respect that a lot.

[C]

My brother and I have even taken to sharing our call logs to see who can have the longer conversations with him. Anything past 10 minutes is a miracle. Back to the text I received. It was a book about how he had spent some time at my house the previous day and while he was there he did the following things. Checked my mail but then noticed my mailbox was a bit wobbly so he made a plan for repair. Watched a Netflix movie while eating leftover food in my fridge. Noticed my car's registration sticker was on the couch and not on my car. So he fixed that problem, set the clocks on my microwave and oven, made sure Kevin had food and water.

[A]

God, dad.

[C]

Yeah. Besides finding this text a little out of the ordinary, I didn't think much about it. He's a dad and actions are his love language, so I thought he was just enjoying being at my house. That is, until I came home and saw the remnants of 2 THC containing strawberry lemonade drinks in my recycle bin that definitely were not there before. As a former hippie, my dad isn't unfamiliar with partaking in certain recreational habits, but we haven't exactly discussed what those habits are with one another. Such a dad thing. I have so many questions and very few answers now, though. No wonder he ate all my snacks and zoned out in the living room. Had paranoia kicked in when he realized he didn't know what time it was? Did I get the strain of THC that made him super productive until he had twice the suggested serving size? I'll see him here in a couple weeks and I'm still considering my approach. Do I ask him directly if he knew what he drank, or do I ask a series of leading questions to try to discern how high he actually was? The latter part sounds more fun at least. Thanks for all you ladies. Do you make my Monday, Wednesday and Friday drives to work quite enjoyable? I'll be working on breaking that top 10% next year. Stay sexy and keep hiding your weed from your parents, even as a 38 year old. Emily.

[A]

Wait, so Emily's saying that those weren't her Pot drinks.

[C]

It sounds like they were.

[A]

Oh, they were.

[C]

Yeah, they were in her fridge and her dad went in her fridge to, like, get something.

[A]

She was saying they weren't in the garbage before she left.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Oh, got it, got it. Because I was like, is he. Did he just come to the house and sneak his own weed drinks? But she thought he was having a nice soda.

[C]

I think so.

[A]

Oh, shit.

[C]

I know. I wasn't playing with them. Yeah, they weren't in the recycling bin. They were in the fridge.

[A]

I mean, all of those pieces. It's so funny where it's like he sat and watched a Netflix movie and ate lunch leftovers. Yeah, sir.

[C]

And then did the weirdest thing, which is text her the longest text messages for everything you did, which is like,

[A]

here's what I'm doing. But also, if you were super high and you didn't understand why it would feel really good to be like, hey, Georgia.

[C]

Yeah, I'm.

[A]

I'm just sitting here and everything's normal and petting the dogs a little bit. I'm. I'm watching a movie. I might eat some popcorn.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you. You answering me would be like, and you're still on Earth, Right?

[C]

And everything is still fine.

[A]

You're fine. Is that it?

[C]

I think that's it.

[A]

God, that went fast. That was delightful.

[C]

Yeah. Please send those in. Maybe we'll do another high one just for the fun of it. It doesn't have to be 4:20 to celebrate all your fucked up stories about getting high.

[A]

And you don't have to take your clothes off to have a good time. That's right. So don't feel pressured about this episode that you're supposed to like drugs. You're not supposed to like drugs.

[C]

No. We highly recommend you don't like them. But send your your emails to my favorite murder at Gmail and stay sexy

[B]

and don't get murdered.

[C]

Goodbye, Elvis.

[B]

Do you want a cookie?

[A]

This has been an exactly right production.

[B]

Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

[A]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[B]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillacci.

[A]

Email your hometowns tomy favorite murdermail.com.

[B]

follow the show on Instagram yfavoritemurder.

[A]

Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

And now you can watch my favorite Murder on Netflix.

[A]

And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show. Goodbye,

[C]

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Goodbye.

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