MFM Minisode 491

Summary

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My Favorite Murder Minisode 491 — June 8, 2026

Episode Overview

On this celebratory minisode—released on Georgia’s birthday!—Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark dive into their signature mix of hometown true crime stories, odd personal anecdotes, and heartwarming listener submissions. With Georgia preparing to travel in Italy and reminiscing about style mishaps, the conversation is lively, funny, and occasionally poignant. The hosts read and react to several listener emails, featuring stories about haunted Australian prisons, a cosmic lady crashing a college graduation, a classic "trash dad," a real-life Exorcist moment with Linda Blair, a dog who did "hard time," and a 90s prom money machine adventure.

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Karen & Georgia Birthday Banter (01:34–02:56)

• The episode opens with Karen surprising Georgia with birthday wishes as she preps for a trip to Italy.
• They riff about Italian style standards, recounting the fear of "shitty shoes" being judged by Milanese women.
  • Notable Quote:
    “It’s worse than physical torture... It’s just kind of like an Italian lady who’ll go like this and look down at your shoes.” — Karen [02:09]
• Both discuss exchanging birthday gifts and joke about possibly buying each other the same thing.

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Listener Story 1: Fremantle Prison, Australia (03:02–06:26)

Story summary:
A listener from Western Australia writes in from her lunch break at Fremantle Prison, a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

• The prison was built by convicts in the 1850s and ran as a maximum security facility until 1991.
• David Birney (“one of the darkest”) was imprisoned there, and given a converted death row “apartment” for safety.
• The last person to be executed there was serial killer Eric Edgar Cook in 1964.
• The prison is reputedly haunted, especially Birney’s apartment.
• The listener’s coworker used to live on the same street as the Birneys and remembers a chilling encounter where she greeted David Birney as a teen.
  • Notable Quote:
    “You may think a whole apartment sounds like a pretty sweet deal for David, but it’s one of the dankest, most smelly, oppressive areas of the prison…” — Listener Kat [05:30]
• Karen and Georgia riff on haunted workplaces and express their love for obscure job stories.

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Listener Story 2: The Cosmic Lady at 70s Graduation (06:50–11:04)

Story summary:
A listener recounts their straight-laced Christian mother’s bizarre UC Santa Cruz graduation in the late 1970s.

• A local eccentric known as “the Cosmic Lady” interrupts the ceremony, insisting that if everyone concentrates, they can prevent the Skylab space station from falling (a real event; Skylab eventually crashed in Australia).
• Karen performs a snippet from a musical called “Waiting for Studio 54,” in which she played Liza Minnelli singing “Skylab is Falling.”
  • Notable Quote:
    “Skylab is falling, out of the clear blue sky…” — Karen as Liza Minnelli [11:34]
• The story detours into the mother’s uncanny ability to identify marijuana by smell, despite her religious leanings.
• Georgia and Karen revel in the “slice of life” weirdness.

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Listener Story 3: Trash Dad Tale (15:58–18:47)

Story summary:
Caroline writes about honoring her late “Trash Dad” and his 90s split custody shenanigans.

• During a routine evening, her father was pulled over and dramatically gave 11-year-old Caroline his brick cell phone, instructing her to call his lawyer if he was arrested—no further instructions!
  • Notable Quote:
    “If I get arrested, call my lawyer.” — Grandpa Dana [16:47]
• Ultimately, Dad is only given a warning, but then reveals a glovebox full of unpaid tickets.
• The story ends with a tribute to Dad’s rascality, then a quick mention: Mom once suspected to be a BTK killer victim and Dad was almost a Boy Scout leader alongside Dennis Rader.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Stay sexy and always pay your parking tickets.” — Caroline [18:47]
• Karen and Georgia riff on 80s/90s “Trash Dad” culture and Sizzler memories.

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Listener Story 4: The Exorcist Reenactment with Linda Blair (19:43–24:51)

Story summary:
A listener (“Duoigu”) recounts accompanying her chiropractor boss to a horror convention, where she ends up in Linda Blair’s (of “The Exorcist”) hotel room during an adjustment.

• The listener, a superfan, can’t contain her excitement and blurts out “The Exorcist is my favorite horror movie.”
• Mid-adjustment, Linda Blair sits upright, locks eyes, and hisses:
  • Memorable Moment/Quote:
    “Stop talking about the fucking Exorcist.” — Linda Blair [23:41]
• Blair later apologizes, explaining her physical pain and trauma tied to the film — and gives the fan a hug.
• The hosts discuss the duality of horror fandom and personal trauma, and how Blair’s iconic role remains a double-edged sword.

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Listener Story 5: Dog Does Hard Time (28:51–35:43)

Story summary:
Laura submits a tale of her dog Otis, who disappeared and was eventually found inside a local penitentiary as part of a prisoner dog-training program (“Prison Pups”).

• Despite Laura’s family searching daily at the pound, no one revealed Otis had been assigned to the prison program.
• Her mom, persistent, spotted Otis during a coincidental drive by the penitentiary and demanded answers.
  • She brought a 30-page photo album and her young nephew to sway pound staff, who finally relented.
• Otis reunites joyfully with his family and lives to a ripe old age.
  • Notable Quote:
    “That is strange. I did not know you could cut their balls off twice.” — Laura’s Mom, on being asked to pay a second neutering fee. [34:26]
• The hosts appreciate the story’s blend of fate, humor, and motherly determination.

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Listener Story 6: 90s Prom Money Machine (35:55–40:41)

Story summary:
Lindsay shares a vivid account of her high school’s extravagant prom after-party, culminating in her big moment in the “money machine.”

• Themed after Hollywood movies, the after-prom featured a simulated drive-in, a pool transformed into Jurassic Park, a Titanic wedding room, and a 007-inspired casino.
• Lindsay wins a turn in the money machine, but her tank top and bootcut jeans foil her bill-catching potential. She still manages to cover breakfast for friends.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Stay sexy and don’t rely on spaghetti straps.” — Lindsay [40:40]
• Karen and Georgia muse about the over-the-top nature of 90s prom culture.

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Closing & Calls For Stories (41:01+)

• The hosts invite listeners to continue sending stories about Chuck E. Cheese mishaps, haunted workplaces, mall fashion shows, and more.
  • Quote:
    “We love that it’s happened to you and we want to hear about it.” — Karen [41:03]

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Key Quotes & Moments (with timestamps)

• “It’s worse than physical torture… it’s just kind of like an Italian lady who’ll look down at your shoes.” — Karen [02:09]
• “If I get arrested, call my lawyer.” — Grandpa Dana [16:47]
• “Stop talking about the fucking Exorcist.” — Linda Blair [23:41]
• “That is strange. I did not know you could cut their balls off twice.” — Laura’s Mom [34:26]
• “Stay sexy and don’t rely on spaghetti straps.” — Lindsay [40:40]

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Episode Themes & Takeaways

• The episode underscores the enduring bonds between listeners and hosts built on weird, personal storytelling.
• Authenticity and vulnerability—especially in connecting real-life events to wider true crime and pop culture history—remain hallmarks of MFM’s tone.
• The stories highlight the range and unpredictability of life: from haunted prisons to oddball graduation crashers, traumatic celebrity run-ins, dad drama, and dogs with prison records.
• Karen and Georgia’s comedic banter and ongoing appreciation for eccentricities tie everything together.

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Useful Timestamps

• 01:34–02:56: Birthday banter, Italian trip prep, fashion anxiety
• 03:02–06:26: Fremantle Prison, haunted history, infamous criminals
• 06:50–11:04: 70s graduation, the Cosmic Lady, Skylab, Liza Minnelli tangent
• 15:58–18:47: Trash Dad story, childhood police scare, tribute to Dad
• 19:43–24:51: Linda Blair encounter, Exorcist trauma and healing
• 28:51–35:43: Otis the dog’s prison adventure, family reunion
• 35:55–40:41: Prom money machine, 90s afterparty excess

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Stay sexy and don’t get murdered!

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to my favorite murder.

[A]

That's Georgia Hard Stark. The Minisode.

[B]

That's Karen Kilgarra. The Minisode.

[A]

The Minisode. We're both the Minisode, but George is more so the Minisode today. Because today is George's birthday.

[B]

This comes out on my birthday. I will be traveling through Italy now.

[A]

Do you have enough fancy shoes? Because I'll tell you what.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They do not tolerate shitty shoes.

[B]

I am really nervous about my style and fashion there. Because I know that, like, especially Milan. Yeah, I'll get stoned.

[A]

No, they. You know what you'll get is. It's the worst thing of anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's worse than physical torture. It's worse than anything. It's just kind of like an Italian lady who'll go like this and look down at your shoes. It happened to me on a ferry and I. I wanted to jump over the edge.

[B]

But what about my hokas? No, no. You just look so terrified.

[A]

But you know what? If you bring your vintage clothes, I bet you they'll go crazy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Cause you're wearing outfits and it looks like you care.

[B]

I'm gonna fucking dress to impress for sure.

[A]

Do it. Happy birthday. And I swear to God, not as revenge. I got you something for your birthday this past weekend. But I was like, oh, this your birthday episode Won't Be for a while.

[B]

I have your birthday present in my car. Cause I forgot this was a minisode. So I'm gonna give it to you on Thursday.

[A]

Great. Then that gives me a couple days to bring mine in.

[B]

Okay. What if it's the same thing?

[A]

That would be incredible.

[B]

Okay. I'm going first.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right. Ahoy. Hoi.

[A]

Always funny.

[B]

I'm a Year one listener. Not quite day one, but I am from Western Australia and it always takes us a while to catch up to the rest of the world. I work at Fremantle Prison, which is where I'm writing you from today. On my lunch break, I promise. We don't give a shit.

[A]

Do your thing.

[B]

Yeah, get paid to fucking write us. Firstly, I would like to acknowledge the woodchuck people as the traditional custodians of the land on which Fremantle Prison is located. I pay my respects to ancestors and elders, both past and present, and the ongoing connection between people, land, waters and community. I just listened to your rewind. Episode number 94, where Georgia covered David and Catherine Burney.

[A]

Fuck. So bad.

[B]

One of the darkest.

[A]

Just so bad.

[B]

And decided it's high time I tell you about my fascinating and ghastly workplace. Fremantle Prison was built by convicts in the 1850s and operated as Perth's maximum security prison until its closure in 1991. Haunted by 92, it had been converted into a tourist site and is now a UNESCO World Heritage listed building. Our main cell block is in fact the largest convict building in the southern hemisphere. With an intact roof. Okay, that's really specific.

[A]

You have to qualify. UNESCO isn't messing around with like a patios and stuff.

[B]

Better have a fucking roof over there.

[A]

You gotta have a roof.

[B]

Which goes to show if you can be specific enough with your categorizations, you can be the best at something.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

So who's the other one without the roof though? That's really funny.

[A]

Just one of those courtyard prisons that are so popular.

[B]

You know those open air prisons?

[A]

Yeah, I think the prison from Papillon was open air.

[B]

That sounds terrible. David Bernie was a prisoner here from the time he was incarcerated to the prison's closure. As he was at risk of being harmed by other prisoners, three of the old death row cells were converted into a private apartment for him.

[A]

Just to keep him inside. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Side note, the death penalty was abolished in Western Australia in 1984. The last person to be hanged at Fremantle Prison was Perth's most infamous serial killer, Eric Edgar Cook, aka the Nightcrawler, who went on a four year killing spree from 1958-63 and was finally executed in 1964. How have we never heard of this and done it?

[A]

We must have both, like, looked it up. But that's so early. Yeah, for a serial killer, totally interesting.

[B]

And Perth, which is like so far away. Back to the Bernies. You may think a whole apartment sounds like a pretty sweet deal for David, but it's one of the dankest, most smelly, oppressive areas of the prison. I usually say if this place is haunted, the ghosts sure aren't interested in me. But that apartment gives me the heebie jeebies. One of our tour guides had a boyfriend who lived on the same street as the Bernies back in the 80s. She remembers walking alone, a 16 year old girl to her boyfriend's house, seeing David Bernie and waving hello, which is like. That's exactly his type. Yeah, he seemed friendly enough. Thank you for a decade of your dear voices in my ear holes. If we can lock in another 10, that would be fab. Where do we sign? SSDGM.

[A]

Cat Kat, thank you for listening for so long from so far away and telling us about your essentially like a hometown kind of crossover story. Yeah.

[B]

And like, you work there, so it's cool. Tell us about your rant. We like weird workplaces.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We've had Smithsonian people write in tiny museums from tiny places in the world.

[A]

Yep. We also love the post office.

[B]

Oh, love the post office.

[A]

We've told a couple post office stories.

[B]

I bet the post office is haunted somewhere.

[A]

Here's the thing. Everyone's had to work. Everyone's got a good work story.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

What's happened to you at work?

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Okay, the subject line of this email is random hippie crashes My mother's college graduation in 70s California. Oh, God, right. Have to pick that one. It says, hey, y'. All. My mom graduated from UC Santa Cruz, home of the Fighting Banana Slugs, in the late 1970s. She graduated with a bachelor's in biology, continuing the theme of people on her side of the family studying botany.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Which I, of course, ended by majoring in theater down here in Texas. And then it says, I'm smart, I promise. At her graduation ceremony, a local woman who didn't attend the school just lived in the area, was known as the Cosmic Lady. She made her way on stage to the microphone and told the audience that the Skylab was falling.

[B]

Wait, sorry, that what?

[A]

That Skylab was falling. Which was. Well, I'll tell you about it in a second. And if they all concentrated together, they could keep it from falling. A Spanish language professor calmly met her on stage, walked her down to the audience, and sat her next to him in the front row, keeping his arm around her for the remainder of the ceremony to keep her from ambushing the stage again. And that man was Paul Onions. Just kidding. He wasn't. So here's the explanation. And the reason I know about Skylab so well is because Skylab was a space station that was up in the. Right around 1979.

[B]

So it was like a field trip thing for you.

[A]

You know what it was? I once played Liza Minnelli in my friend's musical about the last night of 1979, Halston's New Year's Eve party that they had at the. What's the famous disco.

[B]

Oh, 54.

[A]

Yeah. Studio. It was called waiting for studio 54. And it was like everybody getting together before they go out for the night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I, as Liza Minnelli, sang a song called Skylab is Falling.

[B]

How are we just hearing about this?

[A]

Well, it's just a generational thing, because it was like a weird. It was like the kind of pseudo Halley's Comet accident thing that was happening there.

[B]

Yeah, but that you played Liza Minnelli. Well, there's been plenty of times for you to fucking mention that.

[A]

And now I do the song. No, but this. It's such a weird thing because apparently in real life, because they were all on a lot of coke at the time, Liza was obsessed with the fact that Skylab was falling and she thought it was gonna fall on her. And it was this weird paranoia.

[B]

I don't know what that means.

[A]

Here's the full explanation. Instead of just me talking about a play I was in once. So me. Here's the explanation.

[B]

That's our podcast.

[A]

I did a musical. As you may already know, Skylab was a space station operated by NASA for several years in the 70s and was the only one they operated exclusively without foreign companies involved. It did end up falling in 1979, landing in a remote area of. Of Australia outside of Perth.

[B]

What the fuck?

[A]

Outside of Perth.

[B]

And like, we were talking about ceilings and buildings, and now we're talking about, you know, the sky and meet me

[A]

on the astral plane, man. I guess they didn't concentrate hard enough at this one specific college graduation, which honestly makes sense. So the woman was basically saying, if we all focus, we can get this thing not to fall.

[B]

And it hadn't fallen yet. Fall.

[A]

It was like, in the process.

[B]

Okay. They knew it was. She didn't. I thought she liked.

[A]

No she was, like, guessing. Yeah, no, no. It was like, on the news every night.

[B]

She was like, y', all, this is fucking scary.

[A]

Get ready. Cause it could fall anywhere. My mom, not a talented storyteller, just repeats things when my family asks her

[B]

for an explanation I love.

[A]

Yeah, well, Skylab was falling.

[B]

It was falling.

[A]

When somebody invariably asks who the cosmic lady was, my mom replies with, you know, the cosmic lady. That would drive me insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As if we were there in the 70s and forgot about it and are being little shits about it. My mom is a very straight laced Christian woman who continually surprises me by knowing how to differentiate by smell different strains of marijuana.

[B]

What?

[A]

She's a mystery.

[B]

She's the cosmic lady is what I.

[A]

She's like. That's what it's probably her potular came to her graduation. Lady. If you know pot that well, the Christianity probably came afterwards. Okay, that's all judgment. My girlfriend got me hooked on listening to your podcast a year ago, and I'm so glad she did. Best wishes, Emily.

[B]

Emily and the Skylab. I learned something new.

[A]

I mean, that was a real slice of life right there.

[B]

Yeah. Was everyone freaking out and, like, terrified?

[A]

Yeah, Especially the people that were on cocaine all the time. That was a big part of it.

[B]

Especially Liza Minnelli. Was she specifically worried about.

[A]

She was specifically worried about it, and it was affecting. She was on some movie shoot and she wouldn't come out of her trailer because she thought Skylab was gonna fall.

[B]

She just wanted to stay safe where the coke is.

[A]

Yeah, fair enough. God, I want to sing this song so bad right now.

[B]

Sing it.

[A]

Skylab is falling out of the clear blue sky.

[B]

You have to do the Skylab falling.

[A]

It's such a good. If my friend Laura Milligan's musical waiting for Studio 54 is on YouTube or anything. I highly recommend. Go find it. Yeah, dude. I'm Liz Minnelli. Tom. Kenny, aka SpongeBob SquarePants is Halston.

[B]

No, he's such a good Halston.

[A]

Doug Benson. Andy Warhol.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

My friend Laura, who was 5ft tall, was Jerry hall wearing, like, a cowboy hat and a big wig, which was very funny. Paul Tompkins was Truman Capote.

[B]

Oh, my. Yes, of course he was.

[A]

Who else was in this fucking thing?

[B]

Oh, let's bring this back.

[A]

It was the most fun, insane, crazy

[B]

thing I've ever Fever Dream done.

[A]

It was nuts. And everyone had a song, so she wrote individual songs for everybody about where they were at that night.

[B]

Coach on coke. That's crazy.

[A]

I mean, she has been at times in her life.

[B]

Let's not throw her under the.

[A]

No, she's an artiste. She's done it all.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Okay. I know what I'm googling when I get home.

[A]

I mean, I hope it's somewhere. Cause looks really good.

[B]

Last episode I told you about being in a fucking mall fashion show. This week you're telling us about like, we have more to give.

[A]

There's more to give if we would just try.

[B]

It's so funny.

[A]

Cause.

[B]

Oh, fuck it. Later. Okay, stop it.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Goodbye.

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.

[B]

The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.

[A]

Making plays that end up on everyone's feed. Scoring from angles that don't make sense. Rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.

[B]

Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation. And Hyundai doesn't either.

[A]

Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.

[B]

Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.

[A]

Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra fast charging capability.

[B]

And Hyundai continues doing it every day.

[A]

From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game. The future isn't some far off concept. It's already here.

[B]

Next starts now.

[A]

Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.

[B]

Trash dad story. Two minute read. Yes, I timed it. Okay, I promised a two minute read, so let's get into it. My dad passed away in October 2023. This was my kids first real experience with loss. So to comfort them in times of sadness, I tell funny stories of Grandpa Dana and his shenanigans.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

One particular story stood out as a trash dad story. On Wednesdays we went with my dad. Part of the split custody agreement. Same. And he would bring us home after going to eat or whatever single dads come up with to entertain kids. So much miniature golf I can't even tell you. On the way home this Wednesday summer evening, my dad got pulled over. As the officer walked up, my dad handed me his cell phone. This is 1993, so think saved by the Bell. Zack Morris style brick phone. Oh no. Like that guy. Yeah. Jesus. And said quote if I get arrested, call my lawyer to his shot.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

That's it. No number to no explanation. I'm 11 years old, all caps. My little brother is 9 and in the back seat, all caps. What the actual fuck, Dana?

[A]

He's gonna get arrested.

[B]

Well, here's a girl. The officer checks his license and info, gives him a warning, and off we go. Me still freaking out, thinking I was gonna have to explain to my mom why my dad went to jail in front of us and how I learned to use a cell phone on the fly. As we drive away, my dad chuckles and says, well, that was close. Then he reaches over and opens his glove box to show us at least 30 unpaid parking and speeding tickets.

[A]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

You getting flashbacks?

[A]

Well, I just thought it was gonna be like, my cousin Lisa, where one time I opened her glove box and it just. Bags of weed fell out. And then she, like, slammed it back up and goes, that's not mine. I'm holding it for someone. And I didn't know what it was. Cause I was, like, seven years old. Seriously, I was like, can you just take me to 4H?

[B]

Oh, my God. I bet it was, like, not that much, but you were a little kid, so you were like. It was bags and bags.

[A]

It seemed like bags and bags.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

But it was also 1978.

[B]

Right? So it's just, like, shitty weed anyways.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Stems and seeds. I never told my mom this story until my dad's celebration of life where we all laughed and reminisced about what a rascal my dad was. My dad was my best friend, and I think about him and miss him every day. But his memory lives on in me, my brother, and my children. As a lifelong resident of Wichita, I also have fun stories about the BTK killer, Dennis Rader, including how the police thought my mom was a victim. Spoiler alert, she wasn't. Diana is still alive to this day. And how he taught my husband to make fire as his Boy Scout leader. And then it says, thanks, Dennis. But this story about my dad means so much more to me and gives me a chance to talk about what a funny, crazy dad I got to have. Stay sexy and always pay your parking tickets. Caroline.

[A]

Caroline, your dad was a badass. Yeah, because he's getting speeding and parking tickets and just throwing them. Throwing them in a thing and being like, I'll deal with it later.

[B]

There is nothing like this era from, like, the 80s through the mid-90s of divorce. Dad. It's all trash, dad. Cause they didn't know what the fuck they were doing.

[A]

Yeah, it was kind of. They were blazing a new trail of ways to live life.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And thinking they were like, yeah, I'm gonna. Like, I'm gonna Get a second wife in my secretary and date a girl that's 22. They just blew shit up.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And then we're like drunk at Sizzler, crying at their children.

[B]

Yes, I went to Sizzler so many times with my dad as a child, I cannot even tell you that salad bar was fucking kicking.

[A]

Still is that salad bar. I mean, didn't they have like fried chicken and fucking.

[B]

And potato halves and stuff?

[A]

Nacho cheese everywhere.

[B]

So good. Still around.

[A]

That'll get you over a divorce. Okay, the subject line of this email is an unintentional exorcist reenactment. Picture it. That just goes right into it. Picture it. Chiller Theater Horror Convention in Parsippany, N.Y. in Parsippany, N.J, 2012, where everything happens. Parsippany. It sounds like there's a lot of gardens. It sounds like it's very salt of the earth.

[B]

They have a very specific style of Victorian houses.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you have to paint them a certain color or get fined by the city.

[A]

It's like every person in every house is a kooky aunt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How do they per capita have so many cookie animals?

[B]

And can we move there now, please?

[A]

Passippany.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Get me my funny apron. Who invited all these tacky people? I'm in Possippany, New Jersey. I'm 27, cute, single, bubbly and high masking with undiagnosed autism and adhd.

[B]

God, that makes me tired. For you. It's just.

[A]

I saw a TikTok and it was about how ADH people find each other no matter where they are. And it absolutely described you and I meeting the first time. It is the funny. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. Okay, anyway, I was working for my chiropractor back home in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. We were both Turkish American, so our relationship was more friendship than strictly professional. He loved telling me wild stories about the celebrities he'd adjusted, complete with photo evidence.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

And I would just sit there, wide eyed. Celebrities he's adjusted. Can you imagine it?

[B]

That's a HIPAA violation for sure.

[A]

For sure. Except he's a chiropractor, so maybe there's no agreement. It can't be no agreement.

[B]

No offense.

[A]

Chiropractors, it's just all vibes. It's all Turkish vibes. He got invited to work on celebrities at a nearby horror convention and asked me to come along as his assistant. He told me he wouldn't know which celebrities he'd be working on until the day Of. But honestly, I didn't care. I was just thrilled to be there. It was my first ever celebrity convention. Passippany.

[B]

It's one of the ones where, like, Vince goes to those. Where, like, people from movies, from TV shows in the 60s come and, like, take photos with you and sign things. Yes, exactly. Right.

[A]

It's like, if Bela Lugosi was alive, he'd be there. And that's all you got. Freddy Krueger.

[B]

Right, Exactly. Yes. Okay, I get it.

[A]

I could have pulled his name If I'd had 15 seconds, but the menopausal brain is just like. Just. The lights are shutting down.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. When we arrived, I had a couple hours to wander before I had to report back. In that time, I had a lovely conversation with Michael Constantine, the dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I also met John Astin, the original Gomez from the Addams, who is also Sean Astin. Yes. From the Hobbit movies. His dad, Butch Patrick, Eddie Munster, and awkwardly prom posed with Dean Cain from the Lois and Clark TV show.

[B]

Okay, that's, like, a solid B level.

[A]

It is. Although Dean Cain, it says this was pre Trump, so I was fully geeking out over Superman with his big arms around me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then it says, I met back up with Dr. Kent. He casually tells me he's gonna bring me up to Linda Blair's hotel room while he adjusts her. I don't think I need to explain what the Exorcist means to a horror fan, but just in case. It is my favorite horror movie of all time, and at 27, with completely unmedicated ADHD and zero emotional regulation skills, I was not equipped to handle this level of autistic joy. We go up to her room. I sit in a chair next to the bed while Dr. Kent starts adjusting her. I try to keep it together, I really do, but I can't. So I blurt out something like, I can't believe this is happening. The Exorcist is my fault. Horror movie. And that's when it happens. Linda Blair is lying on the bed across from me as Dr. Kent cracks her neck violently to one side. Well, that's an adjustment.

[B]

Yeah, but it also sounds like the movie.

[A]

Yes. She suddenly shoots upright, locks eyes with me, and hisses, stop talking about the fucking Exorcist.

[B]

Oh, no. I thought she'd be cool.

[A]

And then slams herself back down on the bed. I cannot begin to describe the emotional cocktail I experienced in that moment. Terror, shame, Embarrassment. All of the above. But more importantly, I am now watching Lyn Blair's head move in deeply unsettling directions on a hotel bed. So I shut the fuck up. She says something after that about the movie being about faith and evil, but I fully dissociated at that point. After a few more minutes of adjustments and me sitting there in absolute silence, she gets up, walks over to me and apologizes. Her exact words. She was sorry for, quote, going all Exorcist on my ass. End quote.

[B]

All right.

[A]

She explained that she has a lot of trauma tied to the film and was also in a great deal of physical pain.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Then she opened her arms and we hugged it out.

[B]

Aw.

[A]

They say never meet your heroes. But honestly, even though this encounter went horribly wrong and nothing like I imagined, I would also argue that it was absolutely the perfect way to meet Linda Blair. Not just the icon, but the perfect human. And on that note, stay sexy and let the power of Christ compel you. Duoigu. She. Her.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

But here's the thing. She's getting her neck adjusted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then everything that just got described literally sounds like that horrible scene in the Exorcist.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she. Remember, we covered this in probably episode 11 or something. She hurt her back really badly in those scenes.

[B]

Oh, God. So that's why she needs a chiropractor.

[A]

Yes. She's young in that movie. She got flipped all over the place like it wasn't good.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

And then now, years later, it's like she's trying to get a fucking adjustment.

[B]

Here's a reminder of why you're even in this position.

[A]

It's like, I love your movie.

[B]

Okay. Counter argument. She's at a horror convention. Of course someone's going to talk about the Exorcist. But not in her private room, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. It's understandable. And then it's just like. The thing is that I think, like, somebody like Linda Blair, it's like. And I bet you she was in the middle of it, but she's like, she's an icon. And it's hard to know she doesn't know she's an icon. She's like, oh, this is just the movie that fucked my back and neck up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But actually, people are just like, like, I. This is my favorite genre man, girl. Also, I love that it was like the. The full story there, because it would have sucked if it just been like. And what a bitch for doing that, where it's like, no, no, no, no.

[B]

She wouldn't have been. But it was. It's very cool that she was also lovely yeah, peace of mind can be

[A]

hard to come by, especially at 2am when your house suddenly makes a weird noise.

[B]

That's why so many people trust Simplisafe to help keep their home secure.

[A]

Traditional home security only alerts you after a break in has already happened and that's too late. Simplisafe is changing that. The system is customizable so you can build the one that fits your home and your specific needs.

[B]

A24.7 professional monitoring is effective and affordable and won't lock you into a long term contract. Listen, Cookie is a really good watchdog, but she's not gonna tell me what is actually going on, if it's a raccoon or if it's a person looking through my windows. Like, you have to get this level of safety if you want to feel

[A]

as safe as possible so you know what's going on.

[B]

So I just feel safer with actually having something like Simplisafe around.

[A]

There's a whole staff at Simplisafe that' waiting to talk to you and help you out and tell you, no, you're fine, it's a raccoon. Right now you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com mfm that's half [e-mail] mfm there's no safe like Simplisafe.

[B]

Goodbye.

[A]

Goodbye. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.

[B]

The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.

[A]

Making plays that end up on everyone's feed. Scoring from angles that don't make sense. Rewriting record books that barely had time

[B]

to gather dust because next doesn't wait for an invitation. And Hyundai doesn't either.

[A]

Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.

[B]

Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.

[A]

Hyundai did it by engineering evs with ultra fast charging capability.

[B]

And Hyundai continues doing it every day.

[A]

From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game. The future isn't some far off concept. It's already here.

[B]

NEX starts now.

[A]

Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. There's nothing more humbling than looking down and realizing you've spilled something on yourself.

[B]

And that's why finding something that makes laundry feel easier is such a relief. I love this because, you know, I get a lot of vintage clothes and they usually have vintage stains on them and smells and smells. But you don't want to over wash them because they're so delicate.

[A]

And that's where Tidevo comes in.

[B]

Tideevo is the result of more than 10 years of innovation and product development.

[A]

It uses first of its kind technology made from tens of thousands of tiny fibers spun together.

[B]

It instantly activates in water. No fillers, no extra water, no plastic bottles.

[A]

The fibers form six concentrated layers with all in one scrubbers, brighteners, pre treaters and fresheners delivering a breakthrough clean so powerful it feels like magic.

[B]

So just putting them in and knowing that one wash with this Tide Evo is going to take care of everything is just such peace of mind.

[A]

Try new Tide Evo. Real laundry magic. Goodbye.

[B]

Okay, this one is called. Oh, my last one is one of my favorite stories.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's got a lot of different things that we've asked for throughout the years. I'm not gonna read you the subject line. When I was in middle school, my mom randomly told us we were going to the pound to find a dog. We found the cutest little black dog whose origins we did not know. But he looked like a mix between a black lab and a wiener dog. We named him Otis.

[A]

That's a great dog name.

[B]

Such a good dog name. Yeah, my friend has a cat named Modus. That doesn't matter. Okay. Otis would like to get out of our dog door and then sneak out of the fenced in backyard and take himself on walks around the neighborhood while we were at school and work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sound familiar?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He would come back on his own when he was ready or be returned to our parents by some nice neighbor who would simply call my mom. So no big deal, right? Well, one day he escaped to go on his adventures around the neighborhood, but this time did not return. My family searched for him for days and then that turned into weeks and this time no one called. My three year old nephew was living with us at the time and that dog was his best friend. So naturally he was crushed. My parents stopped by the pound every day for weeks looking for him with no luck. They had given up hope, not sure what to do when one day my mom was driving past the penitentiary in our town. The penitentiary was located out of the way, so it was random that she took the route right by it that day. And while driving, she looked over and yelled, hey, that looks like Otis. She was looking at the yard inside the penitentiary. She whipped the car around, parked and walked over to the fence about 30 yards from where an inmate was training a little black dog and yelled, otis. He came running over immediately. There was still a large fence with barbed wire in between them, but my mom knew it was our Otis. The first line is, you asked for dogs in prison, so here is a story for that.

[A]

We did well. But I think it was the thing of, like, you know, that that's a program they do of, like, training dogs.

[B]

Wait, there's more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She asked the inmate how he got that dog, and he quickly and nervously said, you need to speak to the pound, and ran off. He could get into a lot of trouble for speaking to someone who is randomly standing outside the fence. Fair enough.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So she drove over to the pound immediately. This is so fucked up. And after much insistence, they finally told her that the dog she had been inquiring about was in a program called Prison Pups, where an inmate is assigned a dog from the pound and trains them to be ready for a home. And in exchange, the inmate gets time off their sentence.

[A]

So they knew that that dog was in the prison the whole time that they were checking in.

[B]

But wait, there's more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This is one of those, like, the story we talked about. Like, the woman keeping the dog, she found that didn't fall. You know, it's like, what would you do? But this is actually really bad. Okay, okay. But the lady who was running the pound at the time insisted that the dog was not Otis. We think they had put a lot of time, paperwork with Otis to get him into the program, so they did not want to pull him out at this point. She had, like, a quota to meet of dogs to get put in this prison program, and so she was fucking taking people's also.

[A]

You know, I have the story of George climbing that goddamn fence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's what she would do. I think people get really mad when. If that. If they look at you as like, you're a terrible pet owner.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And the people that are. Sincerely, again, please go listen to my story about what was actually happening with George. But when dogs get out like that, they could get hit by cars. So there's. I think there was a neighbor in my neighborhood when I had to go spring her from the pound one day, because they're just like, you can't have a dog if your dog is gonna

[B]

get out all the time. Sure, I stole. I accidentally kidnapped a cat for that same reason. I'm like, there's no outdoor cats in this fucking neighborhood. There's coyotes everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I wasn't wrong.

[A]

You're just trying to do some good in this world.

[B]

That's right. Me and Salem, we're now fucking bonded for life. Okay. My mom, not one to let down, returned the Next day with a full 30 page photo album of Otis with our family. My mom loved her camera. A lot of the photos being of Otis with my nephew. And to seal the deal, she also brought my little 3 year old nephew with her. A little heartbroken boy looking for his dog. Must have finally melted the stubborn employee's heart and she gave in and admitted that the dog was in Otis. I mean, the fact that the woman came for weeks every day to the pound shows you that this was a dog that was loved. You know what I mean? It's not like no one came for

[A]

him, but almost like it's the more that person comes, the more that the person who made that decision has to stick by it and has to tell themselves, like, but she would think it

[B]

didn't happen for a couple weeks at

[A]

least because there was enough time to sign Otis up for this program.

[B]

Were they hiding Otis?

[A]

Well, I mean, it sounds like it. Or she was like, Otis already got funneled into the program. It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, they agreed to give him back after we paid a $150 fee. Of course, the employee also tried to charge my mom an additional $275 for a neutering fee. We had to get him neutered when we got him years before, so this was already done. Oh, in which my mom replied, quote, that is strange. I did not know you could cut their balls off twice. The lady again relented and removed that. When all the paperwork was done, they opened the door and Otis ran into the arms of my nephew, knocking him down with joy. My little nephew was in tears. Otis returned home and never escaped again. He's like, sorry, I'm not going back to.

[A]

I didn't mean to go to prison, guys. Sorry.

[B]

I thought I was going to like a fucking candy factory or something. Or like a chicken roasted chicken place. He grew old with his little boy for several more years until the ripe old age of 16. My mom too has since passed, but she was never one to give up on her family, especially a boy and his best friend. Otis lived an adventurous life and we have many more stories, but this is the one about how he got locked up, did hard time and eventually broke free. Thank you for all you do and for providing such a great space to return to every Monday and Thursday and Wednesday. Stay safe and don't give up the search. Maybe even look in the pen. Love, Laura. And then there's a picture of the dog and it also says, P.S. my mom's name was Vicky with an

[A]

I at the end Nice.

[B]

There's Otis.

[A]

Otis, look.

[B]

And he looks traumatized. Like, oh, man.

[A]

He's like, listen, I've made some bad decisions. At least I'm here with my friend again. Look at that.

[B]

Look at how 80s and 90s that comforter is that he's laying on.

[A]

It looks like one of those cups, doesn't it? It's like, get some ice. Get some Sprite. That dog. Also, the odds of that dog being outside while she drives by.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Like, that's fate where it's like, totally. It just wasn't supposed to be in that program.

[B]

Yeah, get him off the streets.

[A]

It's so funny. Okay, here's my last one. And this is if that. If that story had all the elements of things we love, this one does, too.

[B]

Great.

[A]

The subject line is 90s prom money machine. Hey, pals, you want money machine stories? How about one with all the hairsprayed glamour of the late 1990s? Yes. Just like in all the iconic teen movies of that great decade. Prom was a big deal at our Colorado high school my junior year, 1999. Saw my date and I, along with most of our friends in the theater department, renting a double decker bus to help us arrive at the dance in style. Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing.

[B]

Where do you even find that in Colorado?

[A]

How much money did they have to pay? A lot of money to get a double decker buzz.

[B]

I'm already worried, though. But tell me.

[A]

But for all the Jessica McClintock dresses and awkward slow dancing, the real main event was after prom. And that's capital A, capital P, Capital P. Our school's PTA was incredibly dedicated to ensuring that, unlike in those classic movies, their kids would not spend the rest of the night drinking and making out in someone's unfinished basement. Or worse, out on the road. Oh, sorry, it says finished basement. I'm from a different part of town.

[B]

I want to go party in an unfinished basement.

[A]

That's where all of ours. There was always, like, a can of, like, weed killer on the wall as you were slow dancing.

[B]

Oldest washer and dryer you've ever seen.

[A]

Yeah, they pull the car out, you go in there, you start slow dancing. They planned for weeks to completely transform the school into an unbelievable wonderland, which they would quickly install within a mere 12 hours while we were prepping and preening, snapping photos, pretending we belonged in a fancy restaurant, and then dancing away at some event hall. After prom was a chance for us kids to kick off the high heels, change into jeans, but keep the carefully applied makeup and Curled hair intact, of course, and really let loose. There was always a different theme. And the year our story takes place, that theme was movies.

[B]

I think movies themes are so fucking ridiculous.

[A]

It's either movies or underwater. Those are basically the two themes.

[B]

What about hot dogs? Can the theme be hot dogs?

[A]

Can't we roll in some hot dogs? How about Picasso as a theme? Modern art. Think of car cutouts and benches lined up for the hallway. Drive in projecting grease onto a giant screen and serving popcorn and candy. A James Bond themed casino where you would sip mocktails and martinis. Wow. A Titanic room with a paper mache iceberg and a ship's bow where Captain Smith would marry you and your date. Complete with cheap plastic gold rings and a fancy printed certificate. Damn. The official entrance to this particular after prom dropped you right into Jurassic Park.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This is a rich kid's school.

[B]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

You and your date would climb into a blowup raft to paddle across the school's pool. Pool? What? We didn't even have a cafeteria, for fuck's sake.

[B]

I'm from a rich fucking town and we didn't have a fucking pool.

[A]

Pool. Which was lined with palm trees and dinosaur cutouts. Fog rolling across the water and the movie's iconic theme song blaring from the speakers. It was amazing. Steven would die.

[B]

Steven would not survive.

[A]

But amid all this Hollywood hoopla, where's the money machine? You might be thinking it all ties back to that 007 casino where you could gamble and earn chip that you then exchanged for raffle tickets. All the usual prizes were there, from restaurant and Starbucks gift cards, to CDs to autograph sports memorabilia. And then in parentheses it says, these parents really did work hard to make this a can't miss event. Yeah, they fucking did.

[B]

I want to go.

[A]

But there was one prize that stood out from the rest. All caps. A chance to go in the money machine. And guess who was lucky enough to win one of those turns? That's right. Yours truly. So into the machine, I stepped in front of all the students assembled in the gym for the event's grand final. This was my chance.

[B]

Wait, what's this person's name? I want to picture them.

[A]

Lindsay with a Ey, Lindsay. So this was my chance. It turned on and the ringlets from my updo flew. But my rhinestone tiara held fast. However, I had chosen to change from my shiny satin ball gown into a spaghetti strap tank top and boot cut jeans from Express. I didn't have a chance of ballooning my shirt and capturing all those fluttering bills. In the end, I was lucky enough to snag about it, which was plenty for me to treat my date to breakfast at Village Inn with our friends before the magical night morning came to a close. All in all, a pretty great experience, but I definitely learned a lesson. Stay sexy and don't rely on spaghetti straps. Lindsay

[B]

wow.

[A]

Incredible. Those money booths, man.

[B]

Remember when the chick got stuck in one at Chuck E. Cheese?

[A]

She was being greedy in the money booth.

[B]

Firefighters had to come get her out.

[A]

Oh, to be like, sorry, I. I know this is for kids. I know. I'm sorry. Have you ever been stuck in a machine at Chuck E. Cheese?

[B]

Has anything ever happened to you?

[A]

We love that it's happened to you and we want to hear about it.

[B]

That's right, send us your stories at My favorite murdermail and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[A]

This has been an exact exactly right production.

[B]

Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

[A]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[B]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillace.

[A]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murdermail.com

[B]

follow the show on Instagram at My

[A]

favorite Murder Listen to My favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

[A]

And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show. Goodbye. Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal with

[B]

Cheap Caribbean's Budget Beach Finder. You can search every destination and every date all in one search.

[A]

You'll save time and money with the Budget Beach Finder.

[B]

Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to Budget beach bliss at your finger fingertips.

[A]

Go to cheapcaribbean.com to try out the budget beachfinder and see just how stress free vacation planning should be. Goodbye.

[B]

Summer is all about freedom and your jewelry should reflect that.

[A]

You can capture that sunshine feeling with Pandora Jewelry's new summer collection.

[B]

From sun kissed metals to engravable pieces made for your summer mantra, each design moves with you from beach days to golden nights.

[A]

Let nature in with timeless pieces featuring organic pearls like bracelets, earrings and rings, they elevate any look.

[B]

Pandora's Summer collection works whether your style is beachy, polished, minimal or playful.

[A]

Shop in store or [e-mail] and let your summer unfold.

[B]

Goodbye.

[A]

Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them, you should check out a podcast called the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club, hosted by Kal Penn.

[B]

Each episode spotlights standout audiobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres sci fi, comedy, romance, thrillers and more, with Cal talking to guests who help break down what makes each story worth listening to.

[A]

It's a fun, easy way to discover your next great audiobook.

[B]

Check out Earsay on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

Goodbye.