MFM Minisode 494

Summary

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My Favorite Murder Minisode 494 – June 29, 2026

Episode Overview

This energetic and heartfelt minisode finds hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark feral with pre-vacation excitement, ready to share listener-submitted hometown stories. The episode covers a range of true crime-adjacent anecdotes, from creative protest against hate groups and small-town bird adventures to confessions of youthful faked illnesses, Costco safety tales, the legend of a lost fishing pole, and the strange luck of winning a cemetery plot. The hosts’ signature mix of humor, warmth, and empathy is on full display, making listener stories both cathartic and entertaining.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Stories

1. Romaine Patterson and Angel Action at the Matthew Shepard Funeral (02:21 – 07:03)

• Listener Carolyn recounts the impact of Romaine Patterson, a close friend of Matthew Shepard, who led a peaceful protest called "angel action" against the Westboro Baptist Church at Matthew’s funeral.
  • Protesters wore massive white angel wings to silently block out hateful signs.
  • “It was a brilliant, peaceful, visually stunning middle finger called angel action.” – Georgia (03:55)
  • Romaine’s story is featured in her memoir The Whole World Was Watching and in the play The Laramie Project.
  • Personal impact: Carolyn credits participating as Romaine in The Laramie Project as her catalyst for coming out and becoming a teacher dedicated to creative resistance.
• Karen and Georgia reflect on the necessity of creative arts in creating real, human-centered protest and empathy.
  • “The humanity in it is something that cannot be turned into AI.” – Georgia (07:03)

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2. Petaluma’s Famous Great Horned Owl & Community Pride (07:10 – 11:16)

• Karen reads hometown news from Maria in Petaluma, about a great horned owl living on a historic building downtown:
  • The owl's chick fell from the nest, prompting a community-wide rescue effort.
  • Maria’s salon is in the same building—the story highlights small-town connections and support (“community and joy is the most important thing in this fucked up world” – Maria).
  • Bonus: Maria was a Biobottoms baby model and worked where Polly Klaas’s mom was her manager, sparking nostalgia from Karen.

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3. The Dangers of Faking Sick—And an Unexpected Diagnosis (13:31 – 17:14)

• Listener B shares a confession about faking vomiting blood (by using food coloring and crushed Cheerios) to skip school, only to be rushed to the ER:
  • The child is put under for an endoscopy, which incidentally discovers a real tear in their esophagus.
  • “You can’t be that good at getting out of school!” – Karen (15:00)
  • The hosts muse on the body’s subconscious signaling and the importance of adult vigilance.
  • Georgia: “Send us your years-later confessions. I fucking love those.” (17:32)

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4. Costco as a True Crime Safe Haven (18:02 – 22:12)

• Sammy’s story about being followed in Costco:
  • As a teenager, Sammy spots two men stalking her and her friend; their “Murderino” mom Gina is alert.
  • The Costco cashier notices, brings in a “gentle giant” employee to escort them safely to their car, and even distracts the men.
  • Advice: Take back roads home, call 911 if followed.
  • Heartfelt homage to Gina, who passed from scleroderma, remembered for her quick wit and being “the sweetest lady who everyone loved.”
  • Running joke: “Stay sexy and find a Costco worker if you can’t find a goth.” – Sammy

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5. The Case of the Long-Lost Fishing Pole (24:33 – 27:44)

• Jenny describes a multi-year quest to retrieve a sentimental fishing pole lost in her parents’ pond during a family 4th of July celebration:
  • Despite hundreds of search attempts (including a $100 reward and DIY “rake on a rope” tool), the pole remained lost.
  • Her husband Jared retrieves it on his first try.
  • “With just one attempt, my husband had found the long-lost pole.... Stay sexy and try just one more time.” (27:34)

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6. Unusual Prizes: Winning a Cemetery Plot (28:03 – 30:31)

• Crystal's father wins a burial plot on the radio in the 80s/90s—a prize he only reveals decades later, providing an authenticated deed.
  • Karen and Georgia marvel at the weirdness and utility of this prize, musing about the costs and emotional logistics of burial.
  • “As a reminder to all, make your final wishes known. Yes, it’s weird and hard, but it’s harder on your loved ones when they don’t know if they’re doing what you’d really want.” – Crystal (29:25)
  • Fun banter about the name Crystal and unique sibling names (30:07).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “We are fucking feral as shit.” – Georgia kicks off the minisode’s wild, vacation-eve energy. (02:07)
• On angel action at Matthew Shepard’s funeral:
  • “Block it with angels.” – Karen (03:37)
  • “It's such a brilliant, quiet, peaceful way to protest monsters.” – Georgia (04:18)
• On creative protest and the arts:
  • “The humanity in it is something that cannot be turned into AI.” – Georgia (07:03)
• On small-town life:
  • “We’re a town built on chickens, so we respect birds of all types.” – Maria via Karen (08:37)
• On Costco’s gentle giant:
  • “A giant at Costco—have I died and gone to heaven?” – Karen (20:34)
• On faking sick and getting caught:
  • “How did you get away with it? You went under, you had surgery.” – Karen (17:14)
• On contest-winning fathers:
  • “My father won a burial plot from a radio station contest.” – Crystal via Karen (28:14)
• On fourth-of-July catharsis:
  • “Stay sexy and try just one more time.” – Jenny via Georgia (27:34)
• Closing signature:
  • “Stay sexy and don’t get murdered.” (31:04)

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Timestamps by Segment

• 02:21 – Listener story on Romaine Patterson’s angel action
• 07:10 – Small-town Petaluma owl and nostalgia story
• 13:31 – Faked illness turns into real diagnosis story
• 18:02 – Costco true crime safety narrative
• 24:33 – The lost-and-found fishing pole
• 28:03 – Cemetery plot prize story
• 31:04 – Closing mantra

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Summary Tone

The episode is relaxed, deeply empathetic, and peppered with quick-witted banter. Karen and Georgia maintain their blend of unfiltered honesty, emotional intelligence, and comedic timing, treating even the strangest or silliest stories with warmth and curiosity. Listener contributions lead to nostalgic musings, community shout-outs, and shared laughter—underscoring the therapeutic power of storytelling.

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For Listeners New and Old

Whether you’re a seasoned Murderino or a newcomer, Minisode 494 is an inviting grab-bag of laughter, catharsis, and community—illustrating why My Favorite Murder remains at the top of the true crime-comedy genre.

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Stay sexy, and don’t get murdered.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is exactly right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Because next doesn't wait for an invitation.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And Hyundai doesn't either.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hyundai did it by making advanced safety

[Georgia Hardstark]

standard on every vehicle and by engineering EVs with ultra fast charging capability.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And Hyundai continues doing it every day because the future isn't some far off concept. It's already hear Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into frontier town selling a Persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He wore cowboy boots in the operating room and became sought after by patients.

[Georgia Hardstark]

He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcast or binge the entire series right now only with audible Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Where does summer take you? Maybe it's a coastal road trip or a quiet morning with the windows wide open.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

With Pura's smart diffusers and the new summer collection, you can restore your sense of place and bring those unforgettable moments right into your living room.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Find your summer escape today.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Visit pura.com to learn more. Goodbye. Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer now with even better prices.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Shop now for up to 50% off. Select Jewelry featuring personal personalized pieces to must have summer favorites.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Shop in store or online now through July 5th.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye.

[Guest Narrator / Interviewee]

Goodbye,

[Karen Kilgariff]

My favorite. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder the Minisode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's right. You got it. It's the Minisode. The day before our vacation starts. So we are fucking feral as shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We're about to say the hottest takes in content land.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Can I go first? I love this one.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Please do.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, I'll try not to disappoint you or scare you or be so loud that I upset people. Oh, this one's called Matthew Shepard. Romaine Patterson. A fucking badass bitch.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hi, Karen, Georgia, and the entire adjacent animal kingdom. First of all, I was at the Portland Live show recently. You guys killed it. It's been so fun listening to recent episodes and catching the little Easter eggs from that night. Don't remember a single thing we said.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What are the Easter eggs like? Are they filled with.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You tell us.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Candy egg we hid $50,000 in cash in that theater. In the theater I'm writing because of

[Georgia Hardstark]

your recent episode on Matthew Shepard. You did such a beautiful, respectful job with it. But there is a total badass in the story that I need to make sure is on your radar. Matthew's close friend, Romaine Patterson. When the absolute garbage fire that is the Westboro Baptist Church showed up to picket Matthew's funeral with horrific signs, Romaine said, absolutely not. She mobilized a squad of people dressed in massive 10 foot tall white costumes with giant wings. Uh oh, she's crying already.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, no, it's the most brilliant. It's the most brilliant way to fight.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Just block it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, yeah. Block it with angels.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally. They stood in a line right in front of the protesters, silently blocking the hate with their wings.

[Commercial Voiceover 1]

Ooh.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It must have enraged them so much. Cause it's also like angels. Yeah, that's exactly what would happen.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It was a brilliant, peaceful, visually stunning middle finger called angel action. And there's photos of it. Look at that. They made these. So they're these angel wings that have these, like, tent pole things sticking out of the shoulders so that the wings are really high and large and blocking. Yeah, the hate.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, it's like five foot expanse on either side, so you just cannot see their terrible signs and their horrible faces.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's such a brilliant, quiet, peaceful way to protest monsters. Ugh. Romaine wrote an incredible memoir about it called the Whole World Was Watching. And her activism and those giant angels became a huge part of the play the Laramie Project by Moises Kaufman. She now hosts a podcast with her close friend, and it's hilarious. It's called Derek and Romijn. Amazing. This is where it gets personal for me. I actually gotta be Romijn in the Laramie Project. When I was in high school, being a part of that play, feeling the weight of the story and seeing Romaine's fierce love for her friend was the exact catalyst that gave me the courage to come out as a pan woman. My high school theater teacher even had her sign a copy of her novel for me when I graduated high school. It is my most fond memory of high school. Now I am a teacher in a tiny rural town in Southern Oregon. So stories about young people standing up to hate and changing the world through creative resistance mean everything to me. Romaine is an absolute legend, and her legacy literally changed the trajectory of my life. Happy Pride Month. Stay sexy and keep fighting the bigots. Carolyn McArthur. She herself. Wow. I'm so glad she wrote that because I definitely saw that when I was doing my research. And I, for time, had to just cadence.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You couldn't talk about it all.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's its own story in itself.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it's beautiful because it's like, people know the importance of Romaine in that story. So it's like, yeah, you can't tell it all right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

But it's an integral part of the story. And I'm so glad that email got sent in also.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I love, like, that the desperation level to have to figure out a creative solution to that horrible protesting and that horrible church.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then what has evolved since that time?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Where have you seen the ones where it's just like, they'll be those types of horrible protesters, and then someone will just hold a sign next to them

[Georgia Hardstark]

that says, these guys are idiots or something like that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or like, the one just like there's. It's so funny. They're all. They all say all different things, or sometimes they just put them up in front and it just says something random. And it's so funny. And it makes me think, like, with stuff like this. And I know this seems like off topic, but that's why it's really important for people to go into the arts to know how to write, to know how to act, to know how to sing or dance or play an instrument,

[Georgia Hardstark]

and to see the beauty in life.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And that the Laramie Project can get made by the people who want to make it because they're like, this can't be happening anymore. And we're going to do. We're going to not just let it sit as a news story, but then tell that story again and again in other ways so incredible. And it's like, if anybody's like, oh, AI is going to take over the. It's. No, no, no. It can't speak for people.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The humanity in it is something that cannot be turned into AI.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's right. And on that same note, let me read you my first email.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The subject line of this is big news from Petaluma. Oh, it says, hey there, Karen and Georgia. Day one. Listener writing in with Hometown News to share with Karen and Georgia. For the past few months, there's been a great horned owl that has taken residence on the face of the circa 1885 building in downtown Petaluma.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I've heard nothing of this. My sister's in the last week of kindergarten before they go on summer break, so she's not paying attention. I have no one on the ground.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, tell me everything. I love this.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She is attracting visitors from near and far who are all concerned for her fledgling chicks. Last week, one of the chicks attempted flight. And since she's literally in the middle of downtown and there are no large tree branches near the nest, she glided to the sidewalk below. See photo attached.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

God. Wait. If you give me one second, I can figure out where that.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, from the tiles in the back.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's how well I know I have the. You know what it is? It used to be a weird shoe store.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Uh huh.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But I'm pretty sure that's just at the corner of Western and Petaluma Boulevard.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's like a Labubu. I love it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, she looks like over it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She was taken to the local wildlife rescue for rehabilitation and flight training. And the folks of downtown have been banding together to create a safe environment for the other baby to make her first trip out of the nest. Then it says, so Petaluma. Which it is.

[Commercial Voiceover 2]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We're a town built on chickens, so we respect birds of all types. My sister and I own a small salon in the building that the owls have nested on. And it has been such a pleasure to have such majestic roommates, even if I am terrified of birds. We've really enjoyed meeting folks from our town and remembering that community and joy is the most important thing in this fucked up world. Next time you're downtown, give us a wave. We're the ones with the groovy wallpaper. Stay sexy and talk to your neighbors. Maria and she works at Honeybee Color Collective in Petaluma.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I want to live in a small town. I mean, I guess my neighborhood's kind of small townish, but like surrounded by Los Angeles.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I want to live in a town like that small.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I had no idea how the level of privilege of just like, you know, the person that works in that store, you're going, I told you the story of one time. Nora was getting math tutoring and she. Her math tutor who's like, it's him and his wife that run the place. And he. She was done with all her tests and she did really good. So he was like, oh, if you want to walk down, I'll go get you an ice cream. So the two of them are walking down Pet Loomo boulevard. She's probably 11 or 12. My sister said she got no less than 10 phone calls from all the different people.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Your child is with a random. Not random, but a man.

[Karen Kilgariff]

To them, it was random.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They're like, I just. Laura, I just Saw Nora. It was the funniest. Or just like. Yeah, that's really nice. Oh, wait, there's a PS too.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It says ps. I was a model for the Biobottoms catalog in the early 90s. That's where I worked. It was the baby clothing catalog.

[Commercial Voiceover 2]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And that polyclass's mom was my manager. Oh, remember that one?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That was like, I flunked out of SAC State. I moved home, got the job at Biobottoms, had to be there at 5:30 every morning, and then I was off at 1.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And that was this weird life I lived before I moved into the city. Yeah, this person was a Biobottoms baby model.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's who we got the email from. That's Maria.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Look at little Maria in the seaside shorts, soft cotton jersey. Oh, I. Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hold on. Maria says, I wonder if that was the time you worked for them as well. Early 90s. It was.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then it says many of. Not all of us were the children of the people who worked there. And my dad was a contractor for the offices at the time.

[Guest Narrator / Interviewee]

Right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, how cute.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, Maria, that was like. She just gave me a little. Are you homesick? There's something.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, that's so cute.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I love it. Maria, if you want to give me like, weekly Petaluma updates, do not be afraid to write it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I thought we're going to say haircuts, but that's good too. Petaluma haircuts. What's a Petaluma haircut look like?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Real high in the back and then long in the front.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Some streaks.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yep.

[Kal Penn]

Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week, the podcast. I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Guest Narrator / Interviewee]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that. That deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Commercial Voiceover 1]

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[Commercial Voiceover 2]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first three months

[Georgia Hardstark]

only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] okay, this one's called Another Fake Illness resulting in a Hospital visit with a twist. Oh dearest ladies, I was recently listening to Minis 423 where someone shared their story of how they faked blindness and had to go to the hospital when they were 13. And it brought back a memory of my own. Similar story where I took a fake illness way too far. I used to fake sick all the time to get out of school when I was a kid. I did it when I forgot to do my homework, had to give a presentation at school, had detention, or generally didn't feel like going. Same looking back, this was probably a symptom of the anxiety that now runs my life as an adult. And then shrug emoji. There was one day when I was a young middle schooler that I knew I needed to really sell it. I had already faked being sick a couple times that week and I knew my mom wasn't going to fall for it this time, so I had the idea to crush up some Cheerios and drop some food coloring into the toilet to make it look like I had thrown up. Genius. They rate thinking it looked perfect I went out, told my mom I had thrown up and showed her the evidence, thinking there was no way she could deny me my day off. My mom took one look at it and immediately put me in the car to go to the hospital because the food coloring made it look like I had thrown up blood.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, the instinct to grab the little red dropper, right?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Little red, little yellow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You can't be that good at getting out of school.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And then it says, well, shit. Also, I wonder if her mom was like, I know this is food calming. Let's see how far she'll take this. Like, at what point is she gonna.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Let's scare the shit out of her. Yeah, there's nothing worse than fatigue.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Not good. Okay, well, shit. At the hospital, the doctors decided to X ray my esophagus with one of those tube things that they put down your throat by way of your mouth. The anxious kid. I was. And then it says, am I said not a word to anyone that I was totally faking the entire time and went through with it. They had to put me under for this procedure and I still said nothing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh my God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

To my luck, they found something. It turned out that I did have a tear in my esophagus. I remember it was nothing major. I just had to take a very nasty tasting medicine. The texture of thick milk vomit emoji. But if that was my punishment for getting away with lying, so be it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But she wasn't lying. Or they weren't lying because there was something wrong. That's why she didn't wanna go to school. Maybe, maybe, maybe she knew something in there and just the messaging wasn't accurate.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You're very gener.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just saying sometimes we have anxiety for a reason.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No, you're right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Your body always just like, oh, like it's crazy. I have this reaction. Yeah, your body knows stuff.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You have anxiety and like tearing your esophagus.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Your, your brain is trying to go, something's wrong downstairs. And then you're just like, I'm so crazy. It's like, no.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And the adults are supposed to catch it, but they really don't give a most of the time.

[Karen Kilgariff]

How does one tears one's?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I think coughing really hard, maybe everyone let us know, how do you esophagus doctors, how do you tear an esophagus anyway? Singing ACDC songs over two decades later, I have never told this story to anyone. But now that I know I'm not alone in this kind of stupidity, it feels like a good time to get it off my chest. You didn't tell your mom.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I think that the fact that we're the first people that they've told, we should send them, like, a sweatshirt or something.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Because that's huge to admit something that you were like. You fucked up. You had surgery.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Her name is B. Just the letter B. B. I love you ladies dearly. Stay sexy and stick to your story. You might just get away with.

[Karen Kilgariff]

How did you get away with it? You went under, you had surgery.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Just. She kept yes and ing her own fucking, like, mistake.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She's like, no matter what, as long as I'm not in school, it's fine. I could be having major surgery.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'd rather do that than be in school.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Send us your Years later confessions. I fucking love those.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, it's genius.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Y favorite? Murder at Gmail.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Years Later Confessions.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also because Bea's mom can't be mad because there was something.

[Georgia Hardstark]

There was something wrong. And you're right. Maybe it was like six. No instincts. There was no ghost in her esophagus. It was a.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She had a haunted throat. Okay, this one. The subject line is, can't find a goth. Find a Costco employee.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hey, hey, hey. I'm starting to write this as my 6th grade students are doing a short written response after watching a video about Hazel Ying Lee, first heard on MFM episode 531. I live in Hood river, about 45 minutes outside of Portland.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Awesome. Local hero. When I was about 16 years old, I was in Costco with my mom and friend. While working our way around the store, I felt that two men were very consistently behind us. I didn't give it much of a second thought because it was. There's a certain flow to Costco, and maybe we started our journey at the same time and place.

[Georgia Hardstark]

100%, right? 100%.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You're like, no. No one needs a TV.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Everyone go. Yeah. It's like a. It's like a really slow, like. Oh, it's like a. What are those? Lap.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Lazy River.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's a lazy river.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's the shopping lazy river.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, it feels so good.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Do you need a sweatshirt? We can amble over this way.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Go this way. It's so mindless and nice. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's really nice. There's one very close to here.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Is there?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Mm. Okay. Okay. However, my mom was an OG Murderino. I grew up watching. And in parentheses, I grew up watching 48 Hours, Dateline, snapped, et cetera. She and Brian Williams taught me how to determine if you're being followed. After circling, weaving through the baby Clothes, granola bars and flowers. They were still behind me. I caught back up with my friend who immediately grabbed my arm and said, those guys were looking for you. Saying she's wearing a blue polka dot dress. I indeed was wearing a blue polka dot dress. After a short meeting of the minds now, including my mom, Gina.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Gina.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, Gina. Is Gina allowed to have her own cigarette in Costco just cause she's that special?

[Georgia Hardstark]

She's the only. She's a show ride. Y.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She's just like, it's me, Gina.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's Gina.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I gotta shop, I gotta get some stuff done, I gotta smoke, I'm not puttin this thing out. We decided we needed to keep them in our eyesight to ensure we weren't in theirs. Once we saw them go to the checkout, we were in the clear. Or so we thought. We got into the line and as it is our turn, we see them waiting on the other side near the tire center, staring. I was creeped the fuck out. Not wanting to be forced towards them. I informed the Costco employee scanning my items. He, understanding the assignment, casually looked over and said, whoa, that is so creepy. He did this a few more times, mentioning, wow, they're just staring you down. He ultimately said he would walk us to our car. Then he said, I have a better idea. And then he came back with the single largest man I have ever seen in my life. Oh, a giant.

[Georgia Hardstark]

A giant giant.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Ugh. A giant at Costco. Have I died and gone to heaven? I mean, he could have been the mountain in the Game of Thrones. He was now our designated escort to the car. The original cashier went over to the men to distract them, talk with them, and he ended up walking them to their car while our gentle giant walked us to ours. He hid our license plate from view, packed all of our things into our cars, all while keeping one eye on those men again. Repeatedly calling them creeps and instructing us to take back roads home. And if it looks like we're being followed, call 911 immediately and do not go home. Just keep driving.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then separate line. Just another reason to add Costco as a safe space. And then it says, my true crime loving mom sadly passed away. Oh, Gina's gone.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Gina.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She sadly passed away in 2018 from a rare autoimmune disease called scleroderma. She was a trusted adult for all of our friends. The sweetest lady who everyone loved, and she had the best time to. That's what she said.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, a mom. That's what she said. Are you kidding me? That's the only person who can do it. And not with her cigarette.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Set me up.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hey, that. Calm down. It's. You're going too deep.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's what she said.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Gina.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry, I wasn't ready. Should you do it again?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Go. You just do it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's what she said.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Gina.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Because I think she'd be a little smug.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then, of course, that's what she said. That's what she said. Okay. She was my best friend. I miss her constantly. Stay sexy and find a Costco worker. If you can't find a goth. Sammy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So good. Sammy. Amazing job.

[Kal Penn]

Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary, Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Guest Narrator / Interviewee]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the. The author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that. That deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to hearsay. The Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Why is it always chaos when we link up?

[Commercial Voiceover 1]

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[Guest Narrator / Interviewee]

Load up.

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Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month. Plan that I'VE been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[Karen Kilgariff]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Taxes extra feeful [e-mail] okay, here's my last one.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

July 4th fishing pole. It's called.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Is it about to be the fourth

[Georgia Hardstark]

fudge when this comes out, it's about to be the fourth fucking cry. I know. Hi MFM team. My parents, Mark and Joy Christians live out in the country on a big plot of land with a beautiful pond. The pond is often a hive of activity with family, friends and neighbors frequently dropping by to swim and fish. One evening, their neighbor Brian was fishing at the pond with his grandson. Brian was using his late grandfather's pole, which obviously had a great deal of sentimental value. Brian briefly set down his own pole to help his grandson. And it was at that moment that a huge catfish grabbed Brian's hook, dragging the pole off the dock and into the water where it quickly disappeared into the murky depths. The pole was gone. Several people took turns diving to the bottom of the pond to try to locate it, but to no avail. Brian was devastated. Two years passed, but the pole was never found despite reg attempts. It's crazy to have a, have a pole mean something to you. I get it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's also just, it's painting such a vivid picture of like people down at the pond fishing and stuff. It's like it's an email from Mayberry. I love it. I want to hear all about all. Did this catfish drag a pole around for 25 years?

[Georgia Hardstark]

25 years.

[Karen Kilgariff]

For 25 years I've been dragging this pole around.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It gets better. The catfish is smoking. Last year my parents hosted a huge Independence Day party. More than 200 people gathered at their home for a weekend of camping, grilling, games and fireworks. That sounds amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's cause they have pond money.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They're Christians. Brian took this opportunity to offer a hundred dollar reward to anyone who could find his poll.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This resulted in dozens of people spending hours searching over the course of the weekend.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Can I say I bet it was dozens of high school boys.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Who's gonna fucking get into a pond and be like diving down?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Well, my dad even fashioned a dredging tool out of a metal rake. He tied the rake to a rope so you could throw the rake out into the pond and pull it back in by the rope, dragging the prongs along the bottom in hopes they would snag the pole.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Smart.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Still no luck. The pole was well and truly gone. The weekend after the party, my husband Jared and I were visiting my parents. We'd missed the party because we had Covid. We were standing on the pool's dock while my dad explained this whole saga and showed off his rake slash rope. Jared took the rake and half heartedly tossed it into the pond. My dad turned and started walking back to the house when he heard Jared say, uh, is this it? That's right. With just one attempt, my husband had found the long lost pole.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Damn.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Incredibly, one of the prongs of the rake had snagged in one of the tiny eyelets that run along the pole to hold the line in place. Jared returned the pole to Brian, who was speechless, emotional, and happily handed over the hundred dollar reward. Stay sexy and try just one more

[Karen Kilgariff]

time Try, oh, try just one more time.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's Jenny.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Jenny, Jenny and Jared. Jenny and Jared solving problems at the pond.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Christ as their lord.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's. You know what? It's the old grandfather. Grandfather. Whoever passed that fisherman's pole down.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Or the catfish's grandfather.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or the catfish's grandfather's in there. I've seen worse poles than that. Send it back. Well, here's my last one. I won't read you the subject line. Don't.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Please don't.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Stop it. It says, hey all, on your most recent episode, you asked for stories about winning contests. Well, this isn't my winning story, but I feel like it's wild enough that it needs to be shared.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Back in the 80s and 90s, one of the local radio stations in my hometown had a radio contest giving away a free cemetery plot. Well, my father, who never wins anything, won.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's like bad luck.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, I repeat, my father won a burial plot from a radio station contest. He waited until my grandmother passed away a few years ago when I was in my mid-30s to tell me about this contest and showed me the deed for his plot.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I reached out to the cemetery and verified its validity, and sure enough, it's legit.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Through a radio station?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Expensive too, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

What is it, like 10 grand minimum? My God, all that is so expensive.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The way they make money off of people's worst experiences.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, exactly. To be like, no grandmother must go in her blue suit right into this silk lined casket.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right? And what I mean, you're not going to have flowers. There has to be crazy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll never forget. My mom's like, oh, no, I need to get. What's the other one?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Cremated.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. She's like, cremate me immediately. Don't, don't. I was like, oh, okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So my father will be buried in a plot that he won off the radio.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Love it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I hope this shocks you just like it did me. And as a reminder to all make your final wishes known. Yes, it's weird and hard, but it's harder on your loved ones when they don't know if they're doing what you'd really want. And that is an email from Crystal.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Crystal.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Crystal fucking wrote in. We've been waiting for Crystal to write in. We have fucking. Who's the last person.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my best friend's name. Crystal.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I was about to say it's the last time you met a Crystal. And fucking Georgia's closest friend is named Crystal.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Crystal thinks that her mom wanted them to be strippers or something because her sister's name is also really unique. What is it? Phaedra.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, that's a very cool name.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Phaedra. It's so like the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, it is. What's funny to me is crystals in my town were a certain way, and your Crystal is not that way. So she's. It's funny because she's very herself, so it, like, makes sense. She makes it her name. Yeah, but it's not like.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It's not like the Crystal you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's not this Crystal, right?

[Kal Penn]

No.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What if all after all of that, it's your Crystal at home? Like, it's fucking me? I've told you this story before.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, what if she did? That'd be cute. All right, send in your stories, please, about anything you want at any time of your life.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Share, in a human way, connections you have made in the past.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Whether it's at a pond with someone named Crystal or a catfish. Smoking catfish or smoking catfish. And until you do, stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an exactly right person production.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillace.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murdermail dot com.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And now you can watch my favorite murder on Netflix.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show. Show Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode is brought to you in part by Vital Farms.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Have you noticed that the egg section at the grocery store has gotten very complicated lately?

[Georgia Hardstark]

But Vital Farms makes it simple. Pasture Raised eggs traceable to the farm

[Karen Kilgariff]

their hens have outdoor access year round with fresh air and sunshine and forage on rotated pastures with local grasses.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Every carton can be traced back to the farm it came from, so you can see the pasture where the hens live by visiting vitalfarms.com look for the

[Karen Kilgariff]

black carton in the egg aisle and visit vitalfarms.com to learn more.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Vital Farms Good eggs, no shortcuts. Goodbye.

[Kal Penn]

Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Commercial Voiceover 1]

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[Kal Penn]

What?

[Commercial Voiceover 1]

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[Guest Narrator / Interviewee]

Now I will control an empire.

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Original series like the Shy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just make sure we protect each other

[Commercial Voiceover 1]

in live sports like ufc.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Welcome to the history books.

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New home, same family. Your BET favorites are now on Paramount Plus. Subscribe Now.

[Kal Penn]

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