MFM Minisode 496

Summary

My Favorite Murder Minisode 496 — July 13, 2026

Main Theme / Purpose

In Minisode 496, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark continue their classic format of reading listener-submitted “hometown” stories. This week’s minisode focuses on unsettling travel tales, harrowing lessons from childhood, legendary family lore, embarrassing moments in public, brushes with fame (and infamy), and epic workplace/restaurant blunders. The hosts move seamlessly from lighthearted banter to moments of real vulnerability and practical survival tips, all while keeping their trademark blend of candor and comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Listener Stories

1. The Creepy Prague Taxi Incident

[02:56–07:25]

• Summary:
  A UK listener shares a chilling experience as a young football reporter in Prague. On her way to the airport at 4am, her trusted taxi driver diverts to an unlit, isolated area. With quick thinking, she calls her husband, pretends everything is fine, and gives him the driver’s information out loud, leading the driver to abort his sinister plan and deliver her safely.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “The fucking hoops we have to jump through just to make sure we don't get murdered is egregious.” — Georgia [05:45]
  • “Once I'd read the number to my husband more times than required, the driver realized the jig was up...” — Karen (reading email) [06:31]
• Insight:
  The hosts reflect on women’s safety tactics and the importance of talking openly about near-misses to teach and support others.

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2. How Many Kids Is Too Many to Lose? (“Safety Kids” & Hometown Mayhem)

[07:45–12:37]

• Summary:
  A listener, middle child of four, recalls being left behind at a South Dakota restaurant at age 9 amidst a massive family outing. Relying on wisdom from retro “Safety Kids” cassettes, she seeks help from kindly grandmothers on the porch, and is eventually rescued following motherly intuition.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “My vote is four. And I say that as the middle of four kids who got lost or left behind several times.” — Georgia (reading email) [08:06]
  • “Look for a grandma or mother with children.” — Email [10:19]
  • “We're the goth grandmas... Lock it in on grandmas.” — Georgia & Karen [10:25–10:47]
• Reactions:
  Both hosts riff on generational divides and the culture of safety training among 80s/90s kids, leading to a playful song-improv of “Look For a Grandma.”
• Memorable Moment:
  Karen and Georgia imagine "goth grandmas" as the future safe bet for lost children [10:25–10:48].

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3. The World’s Largest Pig: Family Lore & Ringo Starr

[16:22–19:41]

• Summary:
  A Minnesota listener recounts her grandpa’s rise to fame after raising the state’s largest pig, culminating in a David Letterman appearance where Ringo Starr sought out the legendary boar—and her grandpa, oblivious to Ringo’s status, critiques his hair and piercings.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “So instead of having a ‘this is a Beatle’ moment, my grandpa had a ‘who is this guy and why is he talking to me before I've had coffee’ moment and proceeded to critique his hair and piercings.” — Karen (reading email) [18:14]
  • “It’s literally the fourth most famous person on the planet to many people.” — Karen [19:02]
• Reactions:
  Georgia is giddy at the visuals and family photos; Karen riffs on the mythical status of a pig so famous it presents household storage problems.

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4. Confessions of a Scream Sneezer

[20:46–24:41]

• Summary:
  Listener Brandon shares how, as a child, he was mortified by his father’s explosive sneezes—only to become a “scream sneezer” himself in adulthood, now potentially traumatizing his own child.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “You’d be minding your own business and suddenly Mount St. Helens would erupt all over again right next to you...” — Brandon [22:08]
  • “The scream lets the energy escape through my vocal cords instead of herniating a disc.” — Brandon [22:55]
• Hosts’ Response:
  Karen asserts, “It is not necessary to make the noise,” launching a “friendly argument” with Georgia about loud sneezing and family habits [24:05–24:22].

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5. The Actor Who Played a Murderer—In Your Office

[26:41–29:14]

• Summary:
  Samantha from Texas describes feeling creeped out by a new coworker only to learn he played Alec Murdoch (in a 2023 Tubi miniseries). The hosts reflect on the “risk of acting”—that audiences may conflate fictional villains with performers.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “The creepy feeling I was getting from the poor new man at work is because he played a literal murderer. Poor Chris, he's not a creep. He's just insanely fucking talented.” — Karen (reading email) [28:16]
  • “That's the risk of acting. That's what you get. People are scared of you.” — Georgia [29:17]
• Memorable Moment:
  Connection to the actor who played Buffalo Bill and later became a beloved TV police lieutenant, illustrating typecasting and audience memory [29:27–29:41].

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6. Epic Restaurant Switcheroo: "You're Dead To Us, Nana"

[29:41–33:13]

• Summary:
  Maya, a listener from Silver Lake, shares her favorite service industry story: at a posh restaurant, two parties require cakes—one for Nana’s 80th birthday, one farewell for a departing coworker. A catastrophic mix-up leads to Nana receiving a cake inscribed “You're Dead To Us.”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “The server looks down in horror at the cake... You're dead to us." — Georgia (reading email) [32:05]
  • “Go fuck yourself, Nana. Holy shit.” — Karen [32:11]
• Hosts’ Reaction:
  Both are hysterical yet empathetic, urging listeners to send in more stories of workplace switcheroos, “especially Grandma based, cake based, waitress based” [33:06–33:13].

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “The world is healing itself. One cup at a time.” — Karen & Georgia on World Cup [03:13–03:17]
• “I complain about dinner and cooking... and Hungryroot provides exactly the thing I’m complaining about's solution.” — Karen [15:45]
• “Stay sexy and don’t accept fashion advice from farmers unless you’re prepared for honesty.” — Courtney [19:28]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Listener Story: Prague Taxi Nightmare — [02:56–07:25]
• Listener Story: How Many Kids Is Too Many? — [07:45–12:37]
• Safety Kids / "Look for a Grandma" Song — [10:05–13:06]
• Listener Story: The World's Largest Pig & Ringo Starr — [16:22–19:41]
• Listener Story: Scream Sneezer — [20:46–24:41]
• Listener Story: When Your Coworker Played a Murderer — [26:41–29:14]
• Listener Story: Dead-To-Us Cake Mix-up — [29:41–33:13]

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Authentic Host Banter & Tone

• Playful, slightly irreverent, sprinkled with expletives and loving ribbing
• Open sharing about family quirks, childhood trauma (“meth was all we had in suburbia”), and behind-the-scenes podcast realities
• Frequent engagement with listeners—soliciting more stories, referencing previous episodes, and improvising songs/jokes on the fly

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Conclusion

This minisode is a stellar example of My Favorite Murder’s charm: it’s simultaneously cathartic, laugh-out-loud funny, and truly useful for listeners who’ve ever faced danger, embarrassment, or absurdity. The hosts reinforce the importance of talking about what happens to us, making light where we can, and always, always “staying sexy and not getting murdered.”

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Notable Call to Action:
“Do you have any switcheroo stories? Let us know at [e-mail]... especially Grandma based, cake based, waitress based.” — Georgia & Karen [33:04–33:13]

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is exactly right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

When a charming neurosurgeon rode into frontier town selling a Persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He wore cowboy boots in the operating room and became sought after by patients.

[Georgia Hardstark]

He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is a story of greed, betrayal and a fight for justice.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Listen to Dr. The Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts or binge the entire series right now only with audible Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Com. Where to next?

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

Shop Pandora Jewelry's new summer collection in store or [e-mail] and let your summer unfold. Goodbye Hello.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It is Karen and Georgia here to tell you about our newest limited series podcast from Blanchard House, Exactly Right Media and USG Audio. This is Royal Swindle.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Royal Swindle tells the story of two fabulously wealthy Australian women who arrive in London in the 1990s and quickly charm their way into British high society.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Evelyn Burton and her lover, Leila Andre infiltrate a rarefied world of horses, old money and exclusive investment opportunities. And before long, the money starts rolling in.

[Georgia Hardstark]

But behind the country houses, lavish promises and irresistible charm, this couple is hiding a dark past and some truly diabolical intentions.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Host Becky Milligan tracks down one half of the duplicitous duo and gets her to tell all in this extraordinary true story of greed, lies and love.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Episodes 1 and 2 of Royal Swindle premiere Thursday, July 23, with new episodes releasing weekly on Thursdays.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You can follow Royal Swindle now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Goodbye,

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. That is Georgia Hardstar, that's Karen Calgaris,

[Karen Kilgariff]

and we are on the mic for a minisode. For a mini. And this is a minisode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No, we'll get it One day. Someday we'll get it. Why don't you go first?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Double pen, two pens.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll have two pens and a paperclip, please.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Dam, you're official.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Like a referee with a whistle. Okay, go.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I won't read you the subject line. It says, hi, Karen in Georgia as World cup season is upon us. Oh, did you get to watch any of the World Cup?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Watch some. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Very exciting. The world is healing itself.

[Georgia Hardstark]

One cup at a time.

[Karen Kilgariff]

One big soccer game at a time, I guess says. And I know you both love sports. I thought you might like a tale from my time as a football reporter. So here goes. As a young football reporter, soccer to you gals. I was often sent alone on assignments across Europe to interview players and report on matches. Sounds glamorous, right? It wasn't. On a trip to Prague, I was working on a game where the stadium was miles from the city center. These were pre Uber days and I could see that this was going to be a nightmare of a place to get a taxi back from at midnight, long after the fans had all gone home. With a 6am flight home to London the next day and a little time to when my taxi driver dropped him off at the stadium, I told him I'd pay him double if he would come back after the match and return me to my hotel. He agreed and I was delighted to see him waiting as arranged. As I was getting out of the car at my hotel, he gave me his card. I put it in my pocket but said I wouldn't need it as I was leaving in a matter of hours. He said he wasn't clocking off until 9 and offered to return at 4am to drive me to the airport. Wow. Perfect.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I thought.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been much easier than it should have been. And after just three hours of sleep and some very swift packing, the worst turnover, I got back into that car and shut my eyes to have a doze. And this is when things took a turn.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sensing the car had stopped, I woke up and realized to my horror that we weren't at the international departures terminal, but at the back of some garages at an unlit track in the middle of nowhere.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

His engine was off and the driver was looking at me in the rear view mirror. His whole demeanor had changed and I immediately knew I was in trouble.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Knowing I had no idea where I was or which way, I got out my cell phone and called my husband back in England. His handset would be on silent. But a call to the landline would ring loudly in our bedroom and wake him up. It did, and thank God he picked up. Not knowing what to do, I began an overly cheerful chat about how great my trip had been, and despite being half asleep, my dear boy immediately clocked that I was in trouble. I told him all about my trip and he asked loads of questions, knowing he needed to stay on the line and tried to get snippets of any information he could. I ran my hands through my ha to leave DNA in the car and I could see the driver was getting increasingly agitated. The only thing I could think to do was pretend I hadn't noticed anything was off and continued what seems like a casual chat with my husband.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The fucking hoops we have to jump through just to make sure we don't get murdered is egregious.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or assaulted is egregious for a cab driver. People who are licensed, any other licensed professional cab driver would be like, this is an affront of what we do

[Georgia Hardstark]

that a man would think twice about. Cause it's a cab cab driver, he's

[Karen Kilgariff]

safe, he's just As I was telling him how brilliant and helpful the driver had been, I remembered the card in my pocket. I told him to take down the number as we should definitely use this driver again if we ever came back to Prague.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Brilliant, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also, having to be that smart under the immense amount of pressure. It shouldn't have to be, but maybe it helps, maybe it turns, you know, the adrenaline, fires some parts of our brain.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's what this is all for, I think, is us being feeling unsafe in the world and like podcast about it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hey, congratulations, we made it right? Once I'd read the number to my husband more times than required to make sure he had not taken it down wrong, the driver realized the jig was up, turned the car around and drove back up the track and took me to the airport. When I got out of that car, we both behaved as if nothing happened. So weird. I politely waited for him to get my suitcase out of the boot, thanked him and paid him with a hefty tip as I sure as hell wasn't hanging around for change and walked into the terminal building without looking back. This was nearly 30 years ago now, but I still get shivers thinking about what might have happened that night. I'm still married to the man who took that call. We don't have a home phone anymore. Does anyone? But I'm 100% sure that him picking up is the reason I made that flight. SS and Think twice about putting your cell phone on silent. It might save someone from the DGM bit.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Jane. Gm. Jane.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Jane.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That is harrowing. We're so glad you're okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. Well, and also, thanks for writing in, because really, the point of all of this also is talk about it. Say what happened. Say what you thought of. Help other people keep communicating about it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Let's discuss.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

All right. Taking a turn.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This is a follow up to the question, how many kids is too many to keep track of? Do you remember that one we asked that?

[Karen Kilgariff]

We were sincerely asking the parents of.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes. Or the children who experienced it. And that's what this is.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It just starts. I just finished listening to a mini episode about a little girl being left behind at church, and you questioned at what number of children. You start losing track of them. And we got some good answers on that, too. My vote is four. And I say that as the middle of four kids who got lost or left behind several times. One time was a combination quote, there are too many kids slash trash cousins story. We were traveling with some extended family, 10 adults and 14 kids in South Dakota, and had plans to eat at a steakhouse and then go to a rodeo. My God. Have you ever been to a rodeo?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You have them in your town?

[Karen Kilgariff]

In my town, we used to have one at the fair every year. We used to. At the Santa Rosa fair where we would go show our sheep. One time we got to go. It wasn't a rodeo, but it was a trick rider. My dad would remember the name. I bet you $1,000. And she was amaz. She literally. She flipped all over this horse she was running. She was racing in a circle. She was like a barrel racer.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So she could go, like, on the side of the horse and get down. So the horse is almost touching the ground. And she's almost touching the ground. Then she would turn around and sit backwards.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Man. Fucking suburbia. We didn't have anything cool.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I don't think we even were suburbia. I think we were.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No, I was saying suburbia.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, you were suburbia.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We had nothing cool but meth. Okay, S.D. eat at a steakhouse, go to a rodeo. At the end of dinner, we kids were all sent to use the bathroom. When I finished, I went back to the table. After a few minutes, I noticed that nobody else was coming back. I figured they couldn't all be taking that long in the bathroom, so I went and checked to see that nobody was in the bathroom either. I ran outside to see, to my horror, that all of the vehicles were gone. In South Dakota, you don't know where the fuck you are. You probably had a cracker barrel or something.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And you're the last person at a restaurant where it's like you're surrounded by

[Georgia Hardstark]

strangers and a child in your child. I started to panic. After all, I was only nine years old and in South Dakota. But I also remember the advice from the safety kids cassettes my parents would play for us.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Let's hear this.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They had songs about body boundaries, memorizing important information like phone numbers, fire safety, and more. One of the songs was about how when you are lost, you should quote, look for a grandma or mother with children.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Awesome.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Looks like. What about a goth grandma though? Look for a goth grandma.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Someday that will be the safest person anyone can find. Actually, truly, as we goth grandma as

[Georgia Hardstark]

we age to help you and because it is South Dakota. There were several older people in rocking chairs on the porch of the restaurant. I was wary of the old men because the song didn't say anything about grandpas. Don't go near grandpas. Just as a safety, just grandma's.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just lock it in on grandmas.

[Georgia Hardstark]

But there were some grandmotherly looking ladies too. They offered to stay with me and drive me down to the rodeo if my parents were in back soon. Not long after, my parents minivan flew into the parking lot. Apparently some cousins had decided to switch up which cars they rode in and my parents assumed I had done the same. At a stoplight, my mom hopped out of the van and ran down the line of cars to make sure of where I was. Mother's intuition. She was like something, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She's hopping out of the car at a stoplight. Like who does that?

[Karen Kilgariff]

A mother's hand in one state. I wish I knew.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God. Is that Unsolved Mysteries or is that Mysteries of the Beyond?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Mysteries of the Unknown.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Mysteries of the Unknown. A twin's hand in one state tingles.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's a mother doing the dishes, cuts her hand with a knife. And a daughter in a different state feels it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I don't think the children know what we're talking about. They don't, but they don't look it up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But the 50s were great. Everybody we loved. We loved it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We're the grandma, we're the goth grandmas. Essentially, no one had me and no one knew where I was. When she ran back to the van to share the bad news with my dad, my cousin who was riding in the van with them laughed. Of course she said she knew exactly. Cause like they didn't know where she was. It's not like we left her behind. It's like, where's our fucking child? She said she knew exactly where I was back at the restaurant. This Cousin is about 10 years older than me, 100% old enough to know better than to just leave a younger cousin behind like that. But I was found safe and I love to tease her about it to this day, especially now that she has daughters to watch out for. Damn. My husband and I have decided one kid is plenty for us. Like all two year olds, he is impulsive, no control, and my blood pressure can't handle more. Stay sexy and introduce your kids to the Safety Kids music. Even if it's 30 plus years old now, the advice is still solid and you never know when they are going to come in handy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So funny.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Christina. Note from Kate. Oh, so Kate. Kate Schellenbach, who sourced these, made a note that you can find the Safety kids song on YouTube, but our lawyer Jim says we cannot play it on the podcast.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Songs are tough. Everything is, you know, everything's copywritten or whatever, right?

[Georgia Hardstark]

But go to YouTube and look up. Look for a grandma. Safety Kids.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It probably sounds a little something like this. Look for a grandma. It's like it sounds like a bank commercial.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Da da da da da da da da da da da na na na na na. Clammy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, okay. Summer means a whole new world for your feet.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They're walking more, sweating more, and going barefoot all day long.

[Karen Kilgariff]

For summer feet that need real comfort, there's Bombas.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Bombas has a whole line of sport specific socks for golf, yoga, the gym, and every kind of runner.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They also make soft, supportive compression socks that are especially great for summer travel.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Bomba sandals and slides are made from super lightweight, cushy, waterproof EVA foam so they feel incredibly comfortable.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And the best part, for every item you buy, Bombas donates an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity. With over 200 million donations and counting,

[Georgia Hardstark]

I wore my Bombus compression socks on the plane ride to and from Italy. And listen, I'm a girl of a certain age at this point. It needs to be done. And I felt so comfy and so secure with my cute little Bomba socks.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So head over to bombas.com mfm and use code mfm for 20% off your first purchase.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's B O M B A S.com mfm code mfm at checkout. Goodbye summers for adventures, road trips and adding a whole lot of miles to your car.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's why it's Worth Stopping at Valvoline Instant Oil Change first if you need

[Georgia Hardstark]

an oil change, make the smart stop at Valvoline Instant Oil Change before you hit the highway.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Their train techs can help you get road trip ready with an oil change and an 18 point maintenance check included with every oil change. Checking your tire pressure wipers, lights and more.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That means they're checking important things before you're halfway to your aunt's house with no cell service.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And these aren't just any techs. Valvoline Instant Oil Change Techs complete over 270 hours of training so your car's in capable hands.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The best part? You can stay in your car and you're in and out in about 15 minutes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So before your next long summer ride, pull into Valvoline Instant Oil Change Valvoline

[Georgia Hardstark]

Instant Oil Change Change wisely. Bye. There are some questions humanity may never be able to answer. Like what's the meaning of life?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or even worse, what do I make for dinner?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Luckily, Hungryroot has one of those covered

[Karen Kilgariff]

hungryroot is like having your own personal personal shopper and nutritionist all wrapped in one. They'll take care of the weekly grocery shopping and recommend groceries and meals tailored to you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Imagine a world where shopping, planning and cooking food is simple and stress free. That's a reality with Hungryroot.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Once you tell them about your goals and preferences, they fill your cart with personalized recommendations. And those recommendations get smarter as Hungryroot learns more about what you did or didn't like.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Most of Hungryroot's recipes can be made in just 15 minutes or less.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I complain about dinner and cooking and that kind of stuff constantly. And hungryroot provides exactly the thing I'm complaining about's solution like they make a zesty chicken, avocado, sweet potato bowl that is exactly what I want at the end of the day but would never ever take the time to make. And with Hungryroot, it's just right there. It's waiting for you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

For a limited time, get 40% off your first order plus get a free item in every box for Life.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go to hungryroot.com mfm and use code

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye. I'm not gonna read you the subject line cause it's one of the greatest. I'll read it to you at the end.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I just thought of one of mine that made me laugh so hard of

[Karen Kilgariff]

an upcoming yeah, in this one.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. Okay. It starts. Hello, Karen, Georgia and Steven. I'm a 21 year old college student slash hockey player from Minnesota. I've been listening about three years since I started college. Your podcast has basically been the soundtrack to every long drive between home and school. Anyway, onto my family's contribution to American history. Oh. My grandpa Ralph was a small town Minnesota farmer who grew crops and raised animals alike. If it could be grown, raised, or judged at a state fair, hey, he was involved and probably had strong opinions about it. But the crown jewel of his farming career was raising the largest boar in the entire state. Not a cute 4H project pig, more like local legend, state fair celebrity. Someone should probably notify Guinness. Big whoa. Because of this extremely large pig, he was invited to appear on David Letterman.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God. That is. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Of legend.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

My family still has the videotape photos and the giant state fair sign he won. That sign currently lives in my parents garage. Because apparently once your pig archives national fame, it becomes a permanent household storage problem. The best part, after filming in the studio at Letterman, backstage, a man walked up, shook my grandpa's hand and introduced himself as Ringo Starr.

[Narrator/Guest]

What?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, that Ringo Starr, Beatles level cultural icon, somehow still standing in front of you fame. Ringo had heard about my grandpa's prize winning boar and he wanted to see it. And being the rural farmer that he was, of course my grandpa had absolutely no idea who Ringo Starr was.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So instead of having a this is a Beatle moment, my grandpa had a who is this guy and why is he talking to me before I've had coffee moment and proceeded to critique his hair and piercings.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What?

[Karen Kilgariff]

He said he's never okay, but especially

[Georgia Hardstark]

not with a fucking beetle.

[Karen Kilgariff]

According to family lore, Ringo Starr was excited to meet my grandpa. And while my grandpa treated him like a neighbor kid who needed a haircut and some new overalls.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God. I can tell you have photos of this and I'm losing my fucking mind. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's wild. I love that somewhere in history a beetle asked to see a famous pig and a Minnesota farmer responded with fashion commentary. So. And I'm sure it's like the way my dad would do it, he's like, how about you cut that hair, right?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, you'll scare him with all those piercings.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's literally the fourth most famous person on the planet to many people.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

So while some families have stories about hidden treasure or distant connections to royalty, mine is that my grandpa raised Minnesota's largest bore, went on David Letterman and accidentally became Rainbow Starr's Midwest style consultant. Stay sexy and don't accept fashion advice from farmers unless you're prepared for honesty. And signed, Courtney Minnesota.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Courtney Minnesota.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But is Courtney from Minnesota sounds Courtney's last name? Because that's a great stage name.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Didn't she say she's from Minnesota?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I guess she did in the beginning. Yes, she did. It's Courtney Minnesota.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Courtney Minnesota from here on out.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hilarious.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God. Show me pictures.

[Karen Kilgariff]

There's a P.S. it says the pig was 1500 pounds. Let's take a look.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God. Show me everything.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He won the title in 1998.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy shit. That's an enormous pig.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Behind that's the Ed Sullivan Theater where they tape Letterman.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm putting together that. They had to put his slop on the ground to, like, keep him on the stage. This is probably rehearsal, you guys.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You can see this on Instagram and our socials, but you can also see us on Netflix and see this photo. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then here's the grandpa out in front just to prove that he really

[Georgia Hardstark]

was there in a stretch limo.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They brought him in. They love a stretch limo in New York. They do, yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What year is that, do you think

[Karen Kilgariff]

the pig was in the back? In the hot tub in the back? He won it in 98, so I bet you he was on pretty soon after. Yeah. Letterman loved a big pig. He loved state fair stuff.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Great job, right? Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So exciting.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Thanks. Christina Arizona. What the fuck is her name?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Courtney Minnesota. That's absolutely my new stage name. That's Courtney Minnesota bringing you goth grandma.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, this isn't the one yet, but this is Confessions of a Scream Sneezer.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And I read a thing randomly today. Read a thing that said that you could kill yourself with a sneeze, but your body knows how to expel it. Oh. So, like, if you didn't sneeze out aloud and proud, you could kill yourself.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right. You could give yourself an aneurysm. Right?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right. So this is a. I think this is an argument. So let's see how it goes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. Pretending there's no in between.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, here we go with this argument as a scream. Yawner. I just have. I have some. Oh, my God, Vince, like, in the middle of our trip was like, what are you. Like, he knows I do that, but I just started not even noticing it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Do it.

[Narrator/Guest]

Do it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I got, like, yelled at in kindergarten for yawning. Scream yawning.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Is that how your family does it?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. And I just, like, want to let you know, like, here we. Ugh, this is so difficult.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Tired. Boring.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, and I thought that's how you fucking yawned. Okay, thanks, Grandma. Hello, Karen and Georgia. I've been meaning to write in for a while and you know how life goes. I'm just now getting around to it. I started listening around the pandemic times and I think a lot of people were looking for outlets. Some made banana bread, others listened to U2 talk about murder. Some did both at the same time.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also, sorry about those episodes. I remember recording them and just being like, how are we getting this done?

[Georgia Hardstark]

In one of your episodes, you talked about scream sneezing, and it later came up in a rewind and I knew I had to share. When I was a kid, my dad scream sneezed so violently it would cure your hiccups from a mile away. It was mortifying. You'd be minding your own business and suddenly Mount St. Helens would erupt all over again right next to you on the couch. And then it says, had to throw in a Pacific Northwest reference to where I'm from. I never understood why he had to be so loud and obnoxious about a natural body function. I even practiced holding my own sneezes in vowing that I never be like that. Then I got older. I'm 42 now and a father to a 4 year old daughter. After years of treating my body like an amusement park, let's just say the bolts and screws don't hold together the way they used to. So now sneezing is genuinely painful if that pressure doesn't have a safety outlet. To my horror, I've become my father. I scream sneeze. And those are capitalized with the best of them. The scream lets the energy escape through my vocal cords instead of herniating a disc. So my poor daughter is growing up with a father who sounds like a fighter jet doing a flyby at Mach 2. My dad isn't with us anymore, but I'll pass the story on to her and apologize in advance. On the bright side, it's a hiccup free zone. And then. P.S. the story of how you two started your show genuinely inspired me. I now have my own podcast called in the Static where I talk to writers, artists and musicians about why we make things even when we don't have to. Oh. Your network's own Hannah Smith from the Knife podcast was the one who encouraged me to actually do it, and she agreed to be my first guest.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So thank you for building a community where people like me feel like they can step out of their shell and share their work. All the hot dogs. Brandon. Keith Osborne, host of in the Static.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Brandon, isn't that lovely? So nice to hear from you. Now let's get into this thing about the fact that it is not necessary to make the noise.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So nice. But Karen hardly disagrees with me.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Karen must attack you right on the neck. No, it's just.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I get it, I get it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's just the front end. Just curb that part totally don't do. Because it is upsetting when people go like that is so weird and bad.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My mom does a gas. The gas part is the one I don't. The chew part I don't care about. But I go, yes. And you're like, what's happening?

[Karen Kilgariff]

And sometimes like my old roommate, it was like where you're like, no, you're just literally scream you're go to therapy.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Summers for adventures, road trips and adding a whole lot of miles to your car.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's why it's worth stopping at Valvoline Instant Oil Change first.

[Georgia Hardstark]

If you need an oil change, make the smart stop at Valvoline Instant Oil Change before you hit the highway.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Their train techs can help you get road trip ready with an oil change and an 18 point maintenance check included with every oil change. Checking your tire pressure, wipers, lights and more.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That means they're checking important things before you're halfway to your aunt's house with no cell service.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And these aren't just any techs. Valvoline Instant Oil Change techs complete over 270 hours of training, so your car's in capable hands.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The best part, you can stay in your car and you're in and out in about 15 minutes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So before your next long summer ride, pull into Valvoline Instant Oil Change.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Valvoline Instant Oil Change Change wisely.

[Narrator/Guest]

Bye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Bye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Let's be real. We don't all have time to keep up with the latest fashion trends.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Some of us want to look stylish but have someone else to do the shopping. That's where Stitch Fix comes in.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Their expert human stylists get to know your life, style and budget so they can pick pieces that actually work for you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Stop shopping and get styled today@stitch fix.com murder to get $20 off your first order.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's stitchfix.com murder.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14, making plays

[Karen Kilgariff]

that end up on everyone's feed. Scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books. That bar had time to gather dust

[Georgia Hardstark]

because Next doesn't wait for an invitation. And Hyundai doesn't either.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra fast charging capability.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And Hyundai continues doing it every day.

[Karen Kilgariff]

From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Next starts now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. Okay, this one. Now this one's pretty epic.

[Narrator/Guest]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And I'm not going. It's. You ask for things that happen to us at work.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Sure, that sounds right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It just starts, I literally love you guys so much. We got business to get into. Let's go. I work in a small office in a big city in Texas. Last summer, we had a few new hires coming through and I was sitting at the front desk waiting for them to arrive. As they slowly began to filter in, there was one gentleman in particular who stood out to me. He walked in with a huge smile on his face and introduced himself. I greeted him and walked him back to the conference room. All while I had this weird feeling that I just couldn't shake. The gentleman made it through training and settled into his part time status. Being a regular face that I saw every day, I was cordial, but I was hesitant to hold any extended conversation because there was just something in his eyes that was almost uncanny. I couldn't put my finger on it. I was completely convinced this was a bad man. Then one day, all of my nerves and hesitancies were completely validated.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Kind of. Another one of the new hires was up at the front desk chatting and said, did you guys know Chris was an actor? We paused. No. The young man continued. Yeah, he's been in all this stuff. When we did our orientation, that was the fun fact that he shared. I immediately jumped onto IMDb and there it was. The reason the guy gave me the creeps is because I had seen those eyes before when he. He. Chris McGarry played Alec Murdoch in the Murdoch Murders.

[Narrator/Guest]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

2023. That's right, you guys. The creepy feeling.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That means he's a great actor.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Seriously, the creepy feeling I was getting from the poor new man at work is because he played a literal murderer. Poor Chris, he's not a creep. He's just insanely fucking talented.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wow.

[Karen Kilgariff]

After that, I decided it was time to stop Avoiding eye contact and teach my brain that we are not in danger. Chris was a great guy. He ended up leaving because he got accepted into a collegiate theater and he wanted to focus there for his privacy. I'll spare any further detail. It's like you've told us his entire life.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We all follow him now on Instagram.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, we're all into this. Thank you guys for 10 years of incredible work. Stay sexy, Samantha. And here he is. It's Chris McGarry starring in. And Kate made this note that not to be mistaken with the Bill Pullman miniseries about the Murdoch murders.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Got it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This was the to be movie from 2023. Wow.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's a menacing scene.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's a great actor then.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Great actor.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Like it stayed with her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And that's the risk of acting.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's what you get. People are scared of you. I was thinking the guy who played I'd fuck me. What's it called? Puts the lotion in the basket.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He puts the lotion in the basket.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Who went on to be. He was the police lieutenant on Monk.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And my mom loved Monk, so I would watch it with her all the time. But I would just be like, this is scary. The voice would come through.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, this is the last one. And it's so predictable. But the last part is just so worth it. Okay. The best restaurant story you may ever hear. I like that. Might not be qualify it. Salutations, BFFs. I write to you from your own backyard in beautiful Silver Lake to tell you about my favorite restaurant story from over 12 years in the service industry. I'm sure we asked for these.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This was not from my firsthand account, I'm sad to say. It was my favorite chef I have ever worked with who blessed me with the taste. So here it is, my gift to you. He was working at a very posh restaurant in Los Gatos. Where's that? Los Gatos.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's up in the East Bay, I believe.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

East or South Bay? I'm not sure.

[Georgia Hardstark]

In his early career, it was common for people to celebrate birthdays and big life events here. One Saturday night, the restaurant was packed, per usual. The 7 o' clock dinner rush is in full swing. The lobby is filled with people waiting to be seated, sipping on pre dinner cocktails. The kitchen printer is cranking out ticket after ticket to a hot and bustling kitchen. Servers are greeting guests serving drinks, nursing a hangover with bitters and soda, flirting with a crusty tattooed sous chef putting in orders, inevitably forgetting orders and blaming it on the kitchen. Wait, this isn't my story. Sorry, I was having flashbacks. Anyways, one server gets two parties at the same time that require two different cakes to be refrigerated and then presented at the end of the meal for dessert. As dirty dinner dishes are being cleared, the server goes to the walk in to get the cakes ready. The first table to be ready for dessert is a large family celebrating the 80th birthday of their dear sweet Nana.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh no.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The other party is a much more lively bunch of 30 somethings all gathered to send their co worker off to their next job with a last supper situation. The busy and flustered server grabs a cake from the walk in and asks the other server to help them bring the other cake to the group that was sending off their co worker. The first server walks the cake to the smiling family waiting to sing Happy Birthday to Nana simultaneously. The second server approaches a computer confused looking group of professionals with a cake that says Happy Birthday Nana. The first server presents the other cake and goes to leave when they hear a gasp. They turn to see Nana's face which has fallen with eyes brimming with tears. The server looks down in horror at the cake swirly black frosting states. You're dead to us.

[Narrator/Guest]

No, to fucking Nana.

[Karen Kilgariff]

To Nana.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You're dead on her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

From the family.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You're dead to us. Now you're 80th. Go fuck yourself, Nana. Holy shit. You're dead to us. Cause they were leaving the office, they were going.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Read the cake before you drop it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

A classic tale of the old switcheroo, this one ending in lots of comped drinks for Nan and the fam. A forever traumatized server and my favorite story to tell at parties. Love you both. Tons. You have inspired me to get my master's in social work and help the underserved here in la. Thanks.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Thank you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

My God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Stay sexy and blame it on the kitchen. Maya.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Maya. Legendary.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, you're dead to us.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You're dead to us.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's like the. I curse you with my dying breath.

[Narrator/Guest]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No candles, black swirling frosting.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You're dead.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We hate you, grandma.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Do you have any switcheroo stories?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Let us know at my favorite murder at Gmail.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Any kind of switcheroo especially Grandma based. Yes, Grandma based, Grandma based, cake based, waitress based.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, et cetera, et cetera.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Other than that, stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Goodbye Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[Narrator/Guest]

Two Aussie lesbian lovers touch down in 1990s London and become the toast of British high society. Society. They're rich, they're colorful, red hair, masses

[Georgia Hardstark]

and masses and masses of red hair.

[Narrator/Guest]

And they're outrageous.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She would keep a stash of 50

[Narrator/Guest]

pound notes down her bra. One of them starts touting an exclusive investment opportunity. That money, if you give it to me, I will turn it into mega money. And soon the money started starts rolling in. Rich businessmen and England's horse loving elite fall under their seductive spell.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It was intoxicating stuff.

[Narrator/Guest]

They even meet Queen Elizabeth. But the millionaire duo are concealing a dark past and dastardly intentions.

[Georgia Hardstark]

My husband turned around and said, we either get that money or we're going

[Karen Kilgariff]

to expose you for what you are.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I remember my mother saying to me that the ramifications of this were huge. I was terrified. Absolutely terrified.

[Narrator/Guest]

Evil. They were bad, bad people. As bad as evil.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes, definitely.

[Narrator/Guest]

Before long, a small town detective gets wind of the duo's exploits and vows to stop them.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She was a thief. She was a thieving scumbag.

[Narrator/Guest]

Only problem is, these two are exceedingly hard to catch. Decades later, one of them is finally ready to tell all.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I sold my soul to the devil.

[Narrator/Guest]

This is the story of Lila Andre and Evelyn Burton.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She was the love of my life. Absolutely the love of my life.

[Narrator/Guest]

From USG Audio, Blanchard House and Exactly Right Media, this is Royal Swindle.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, look, I would say I'm very sorry, but whether I mean it or not, I don't know.

[Narrator/Guest]

Royal swindle premieres Thursday, July 23rd. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Thursday.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an Exactly Right production.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillacci.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murder at gmail Com.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Follow the show on Instagram at. My favorite murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Listen to My favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can support our show.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them, you should check out a podcast called Ear, say The Audible and iHeart audiobook club, hosted by Cal Penn.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Each episode spotlight Stan audiobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres. Sci fi, comedy, romance, thrillers and more. With Cal talking to guests who help break down what makes each story worth listening to.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's a fun, easy way to discover your next great audiobook.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Check out Earsay on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal

[Georgia Hardstark]

with Cheap Caribbean's Budget Beach Finder. You can search every destination and every date all in one search.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You'll save time and money with the Budget Beachfinder.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to Budget Beach Bliss at your fingertips.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go to cheapcaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress free vacation planning should be.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Goodbye.

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